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Joel Miller was a complicated man, with complicated feelings and a complicated life. After losing his daughter, Sarah, and finding a girl whose company healed most of his wounds but whose confidence in him shattered after lying to her. You could say his life wasn't easy, and you wouldn't be wrong.
After moving to Jackson and settling, he wasn't so complacent. He wanted to be alright, but he couldn't, and he couldn't understand why. That was until he met you.
You were his neighbor, a nice woman who tried to teach kids in Jackson. You did a lot of things, you tried to help them read and write and also be nice to each other.
Joel knew you. Well, kinda. He was a bit stoic on what he could do while he was trying to gather the pieces of his life. You visited the local bar too often, and he knew it. You liked to cook and to dress nicely in the middle of an apocalypse.
You weren't that old. Middling your twenties, you were too young when all went to shit. You didn't know a lot of things. Never got a family, at least a nice one. Your mother was murdered by raiders before you could reach that one nice town everyone talked about. The one behind a closed wood gate in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming, that one town with no inside danger where everyone lives in peace with everyone. You found it when you were sixteen, wandering around in the freezing woods with half of your face scarred and almost frozen lungs. Since then, you lived there and when you finally reached a decent age, you started teaching to help the community.
Joel met you a week after he moved to Jackson. You were talking to Tommy, his brother, in the bar when he walked in and sat down beside you. He was rough and angry, it showed, and Tommy teased him for it.
"I want you to meet someone." Tommy said with a smile, cleaning some glasses and putting a drink in front of Joel, he introduced you to him.
"Nice to meet you." You said, looking at him with a brightness no one has in the middle of the end of humanity.
"I'm Joel." He said shortly, taking a drink from his glass.
After that, you kept meeting against his will. Ellie talked about you a lot, and she always said that you were a really nice woman and everything.
You liked coffee, and you knew that Joel did too, and every morning he sat on his porch to drink coffee and look at the people.
Some nights you heard him going to patrol until he switched to the morning shift.
You knew some things about him, most of them because of Tommy.
Joel Miller also knew things about you, but because of Ellie.
After some events, you started to interact more with him. You drank coffee together, and sometimes you had conversations with him at the bar. You were starting to feel good in each other's company and warmth.
You liked Joel, and you knew it. Since the first time you saw him, you were attracted to him. He was older than you, tall, big, somehow groomed, and he had something about him. Maybe it was the roughness of his features, or the raspiness of his voice, or maybe it was that Texan accent that made you fold at the knees. And you liked teasing him, and subtly flirting with him. But you weren't sure he felt the same, so you didn't make a move.
"Did you taste real homemade cookies?" You asked while sitting on the floor of his porch one night while he was sitting on a rocking chair sipping hot chocolate.
"Yes." Joel answered.
"Were they nice?" You asked again.
"Yes." Joel said.
"Can you give me something more than monosyllables?" You chuckled, looking up at him.
"No." He said with a teasing smirk.
"Where's Ellie?" You asked quietly, standing from the floor.
"She's out to movie night, with Dina and Jesse." He said and after a pause he talked again. "She talks a lot, it's always Dina this, Dina that."
You chuckled. "Jesse must be third wheeling like crazy." You said.
"Yeah, he must be." He laughed audibly at your words.
"Sometimes I think about what it must be like to be in a relationship, or to be romantically loved." You said with a sigh, looking at him. "I mean, I was still in diapers when the outbreak happened and, I didn't have the opportunity to... y'know, be intimate with all the surviving and stuff."
He looked at you. "You're a sweet woman, darlin' m'sure you'll find someone." He said.
"I don't know Joel, with all of these things and, well, I don't know. I'm still young, I guess." You sighed. For a second you clapped eyes on each other and the look lingered for a few seconds before you got nervous and looked away with a shy smile.
"What's got you smiling?" He said with a teasing chuckle. "Nothing." You answered, changing to a serious expression immediately.
He shook his head lightly and let out a raspy and deep laugh. You took a seat next to him and put your hand on the armrest of the rocking chair he was sitting on. "I think... I think I like someone, Joel." You said out of nowhere, trying not to look at him.
He looked at you with surprise, you could say. "You think I might know 'em?" He said.
"Maybe, who knows." You, playing fool, tried not to make things obvious.
"So I do know 'em." He said, and you could hear the smirk on his tone. "Their name?" He said.
"His." You replied. "I ain't gonna tell you."
"That's low." He laughed. "Alright. Well, you do you." He said, drinking from the cup of hot chocolate that mustn't be so hot anymore.
You kept silence, looking down at your hand for a while. The silence was surprisingly comfortable and you didn't feel the need to break it. But you were going to.
"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" You asked quietly.
"No, why?" He answered, looking at you for a second.
"I wanted to go somewhere with you." You said. "If that's okay."
"It's okay, darlin'." He said.
You looked at him for a second and then felt his hand lightly grazing yours as he looked at nothing. You blushed.
Joel took your hand in his, his hand was calloused but his touch was gentle and soft. You heard that he was an angry old man with a cold heart but, getting to know him these past two years, you weren't sure about that. Although, he was different with other people, he talked and paid attention to you, but he ignored other people and treated them coldly.
When he opened up to you about his past, you understood that he was just a broken man with a broken heart who needed to get better. That's why you tried to make every day of his life special even if you weren't the most interesting individual in town.
You also, at some point one evening in the bar while you were both extremely wasted, talked about how complicated relationships can be, especially with the lives you both had. You both laughed at your seriousness on the matter, but it was a subject you never let go of and you had it very present for when you talked to him.
"I like being with you, darlin'." He said. "You make this old man happy."
You giggled lightly. "I'm glad. You make me happy too, Joel."
He looked at you and didn't look away and you did the same. His hand was still on yours and your heart pumped in your chest. You took a deep breath, this was the longest while you had maintained eye contact with someone, and it made you feel warm inside. His gaze softened and it was... lovely. His eyes searched for yours as he slowly moved his face closer to yours. Almost like he was going to... it's impossible, is it?
You looked at his lips, covered by that grey neat beard of his. He noticed and slightly moved his finger over your hand, giving you a light squeeze. You nodded almost imperceptibly and he understood that you wanted it too.
He placed his hand under your chin and moved it to the back of your neck to pull you closer. Your lips collided with his as your hand moved to his cheek to cup it.
You felt your stomach fluttering. Not even your first kiss made you feel this excited for something. You felt like a teenager learning to do it again.
Gasping for air you both pulled away from the most breathtaking kiss you had in your life. He tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear and you smiled.
"I think this just went past complicated." You said.
"But we can handle complicated, darlin'." He replied.