Chapter Text
Helaena can no longer stand being moved from place to place, although she is becoming used to it. Almost.
She’s only 6.
She watches the car door swing open and carefully avoids the watchful gaze of the young women of whom steps out of the vehicle. Helaena listens carefully as the woman speaks to the father of the family, before crouching in front of Helaena. Her voice is soft like lilac and Helaena feels soothed when she begins speaking.
“Hi Helaena, I’m Laena, your new social-worker.” She stays crouched at Helaena's height, her wide maroon eyes carefully observing Helaena, of whom has her stare fixated on the cracks within the pavement.
“Are you ready to go, little love?” Laena whispers gently within Helaena’s range of hearing, however careful not to touch her. The other lady must have told her that. All Helaena can do is nod and grip Dreamfyre, her small stuffed dragon, until her knuckles burn a pearlescent white. She keeps her other hand securely gripped to a peculiar glass bottle, sealed with a cloth. Small holes poke through the top, to give her friends some oxygen.
“I’ve got a nice room set up for you, it's even got a caterpillar painting.” Laena giggles as she returns, one hand snug around her singular trash bag of belongings, using her spare hand to point to the vehicle she had originally exited from.
“I want to go there.” She mumbles, rocking back and forth on her heels as Laena gently guides her to the car. She wonders how much longer she’ll have to go through this process.
Helaena is tired.
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The mat is soft and gentle between Helaena’s fingers, running them gently over the bumps and ridges, bright colors littering it. The playroom connects them, almost like a puzzle piece. She wants to go to another spot because spider webs are more common in those places, but it's too loud anywhere else.
Helaena hums slowly, rocking back and forth and gently tapping her chest, feeling the vibrations deep inside her diaphragm and ribcage. The rumble soothing her bones, feeling like weights were drooping down on her from above.
Laena is sitting a short distance behind her, followed by two young women. One has long, silver hair and bright violet eyes, similar to herself. She has a smile on her face and her hand is gripping another woman, her hair is a beautiful red and her cheeks rosy. Helaena thinks she wants to touch it.
She quietly climbs to her feet, anxiety dripping against her skin as she approaches Laena. She just wants her centipede from her jar, however she left it near Laena.
Helaena locks her hands over her ears to avoid confrontation, humming as Laena turns around to face her, followed by the two women.
“Hi Helaena, what's up little one?” Laena keeps her voice low and quiet, noticing Helaena’s rigged posture.
She wonders why the other women are here, since she only returned earlier that day, however she has no eyes for them at the moment. She keeps her gaze fixed on the floor, before prying a sweaty hand off her ear, cool air flooding in, quickly pointing at the glass jar slightly out of reach.
Laena’s soft gaze trickles after her finger, gaze landing on the jar and grinning mischievously. Laena rises to her feet, instinctively, Helaena takes exactly 3 steps back. Laenas arm reaches to hand her the jar, however Helaena steps back again.
She needs Laena to put the jar down, because her hands might be itchy and burn, and she doesn’t want her hand to brush against her knuckles, fingers or any part of her for that matter. She takes the hint, and steps back, placing the glass on the table in front of the two women.
Helaena takes note of how the women don’t force her to engage in conversation, just quietly observing with soft smiles on their faces as she quickly snatches the glass and runs back. The jar is warm and she quickly pries open the cloth and gently pulls out a small centipede, sliding into the palm of her hand.
It wriggles in her smooth palm, soft legs pattering against the palm of her hand, she makes sure to twist her hand every so often, so it does not run out of skin to crawl on.
“Helaena.” Laena calls, Helaena does not wish to talk to her.
“You're going to go with these sweet women here, Rhaenyra and Alicent. They’re going to take care of you for as long as you would like, how’s that sound?” Laena speaks again, watching her pet the centipede making a home in her hand.
She only responds with a light hum and turns back to her centipede, gently slipping it back inside the jar and squeezing it shut.
The women seemed nice enough, Rhaenyra had a nice voice and Alicent seemed to be very attentive. Helaena could work with that, she wonders how long she’d last in their home before they have enough and move on. She can count the weeks on two hands.
Helaena doesn’t enjoy being moved so much, she prefers to be in one location at all times, although that's not necessarily possible.
Rhaenyra and Alicent are still smiling at her.
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Laena finally leads her out of the car, and towards a small but cozy looking house. The garden beds are filled with opportunity and the treetops are tall, hugging each other. Bees swarm around a nest hanging mindlessly in a tree posted in an overgrown corner.
Laena opens the door and Helaena goes rigid, breath coming heavy and labored, sweat beading at her forehead.
Tears sting behind her eyelids but she won't let them see her cry. She just grips Dreamfyre harder and holds her to her chin as the door swings open.
“Hi Helaena, I’m Rhaenyra, this is my wife Alicent. Our boys are excited to meet you!”
Rhaenyra has a kind voice and a soft smile plastered onto her pale cheeks. She seemed enthusiastic, somewhat calming Helaenas nerves. A loud clang from inside followed by a squeal of shock caused Helaena to clap her hands over her ears, and Laena to take an extra step closer.
“It's alright little one! It's just Jacaerys wrangling up his brothers.”
Alicent speaks up before calling inside, her voice still soft yet carrying an air of authority.
“Boys! Quiet down please!”
A muffled call in response sounds through the doors, before Rhaenyra steps forward and shuttles them inside the house.
Helaena hums softly, rocking back and forth on her heels as she observes the pictures littering the walls. Smiling faces and family portraits fill in the empty spaces, Helaena could get lost in such pretty photos.
Laena, Rhaenyra and Alicent wait patiently, smiling happily as Helaena continues forward until they halt in what looks to be a living room. Suddenly, three boys skid into the room.
One has a huge grin on his face, dirt plastered to his rosy cheeks. He looks around slightly older than Helaena. An older boy, who's clinging to his brother's leg is smiling happily back at her, followed by the final one. A tall boy, significantly older than the other two, offers her a swift apology.
“Hi! You must be Helaena, I’m Jacaerys, these are my brothers, Lucerys and Joffrey. Lucerys is 8, Joffrey, 10.”
He has a kind smile and tousled brown hair, Helaena does not feel like talking to them however, and keeps her head down and fixed on the floor, humming and tapping her chest.
“Hi! I'm Lucerys but you can call me Luke! I heard you liked bugs, mum says-”
Luke had been inching forward, arms stretched for a hug when Helaena cringes, hunching her shoulders and taking exactly three steps back, before Jacaerys hauls him back by the shoulders.
“Luke buster, what did I tell you, not everyone wants your muddy hugs.” He laughs out, tousling the boy's hair before Rhaenyra speaks up.
“Why don’t you boys help us show Helaena to her room? She’ll need a tour.” She laughs, throwing a towel at Luke while Laena begins to scrape the mud off him, ignoring his muffled whines of protest as Jace and Joffery take off up the stairs, followed by Alicent.
Helaena trails behind, hand running down the bumps and grooves of the wall and banister, carefully taking one step at a time. She can feel Rhaenyra behind her, heart warmed with respect as the woman gives Helaena her space. She isn’t used to being treated as an equal in such households, let alone busy ones.
She reaches the top of the stairs, the carpet looks soft, in the corner of her eye, she can see Joffery waiting patiently in front of a rectangular doorway. Helaena is more intrigued with the soft carpet, spinning in a short circle and placing herself directly in the center of a patch she wishes to investigate. Her hands tangle in and pull at the edges, pushing her face closer to investigate.
She wonders how it's as softer than Dreamfyre, Dreamfyre had been given to her by one of her older social workers, but Helaena can’t remember her name. As quickly as she sat, Helaena scrambles to her feet and returns to her position in front of Rhaenyra and behind Alicent.
They don't seem mad, still smiling and gently guiding her towards her room. She peeks around the corner, tightening her grip on Dreamfyre, she’ll need some re-stitching after this. She giggles at the thought.
Jacaerys is seated in a rocking chair on the side, toys litter the floor, a drawing of a firefly is hung over the headrest of the bed. The carpet is even softer than the one outside, and the walls are painted a soft blue color. Helaena is quietly observing the room, running her palms round the rough bumps and soft edges.
She nods, she likes this room, softer than a lot of things, one of the blankets is even weighted! Rhaenyra laughs and smiles, one that reaches into her heart and tugs at the strings and squeezes it tighter. She thinks she likes those smiles.
“Shall we sign the paperwork?” Laena pipes up from behind, an obvious air of joy within her voice, silver curls glistening in the afternoon light.
Alicent nods and Rhaenyra leads the three of the back downstairs, Lucerys is in fresh clothes now and has seated himself on a couch downstairs.
Helaena watches Rhaenyra, Alicent and Laena take a seat near the dining table, before settling back onto the carpet and rocking back and forth. She hums mindlessly, rubbing her hand up and down the bristles, giggling as they tickle her palm.
Her head shoots up in confusion when Laena speaks up.
“Do you guys have any more questions before I head out?”
Helaena shakes her head from side to side, reaching for Dreamfyre and continuing her pattern, gaze fixed on Laena, however not meeting her eyes. Helaena doesn’t enjoy looking people in the eye.
Rhaenyra reaches over and mutters something in Laena’s ear, to which she receives a slip of paper. Helaena strains to listen however cannot pick up on the conversation. Alicent notices her attempt at joining and speaks up after waving off Laena.
“Aemond, Daeron, and Aegon will be home soon, why don’t you get comfortable. We have lots of pretty fireflies outside that you’ll love.” She says softly, no evidence of force in her voice.
Helaena raises her head. She hadn’t seen fireflies in… forever! Their fluttering wings and colorful bodies were a new unique concept to her, something she was eager to hold and study. She giggles, clapping slightly and climbing to her feet, locking eyes with a smiling and tearful Alicent for no less than 2 seconds, before returning her gaze to her chin.
Alicent leads her to the garden, letting her know that Jacaerys will be on the porch and the rest of the boys will be home within the hour.
Helaena lifts her hands and begins her search, but it doesn’t take long for the cool chill of the night to bite back, and the glowing to begin. A soft twinkle illuminating the starry night, raising her arms and letting them gently buzz around her.
She feels tension bubble in her chest, erupting in a loud laugh as they tickle her, one’s glowing body landing on her nose. She blows it away, a smile evident as she wanders back inside, humming happily, fingers dancing along the threads of her dress.
Rhaenyra is smiling at her, her cheeks are rosy and flushed and her eyes bright as the moon. Helaena thinks she likes her eyes, they're very pretty.
“Did you have fun firefly?” She grins, dimples creasing the corners of her lips.
Helaena nods, shaking her head up and down profusely, earning a laugh from Rhaenyra.
“We have plenty more to look at another day little one, why don’t you get settled while we wait for the boys to get home?”
Helaena nods and quietly walks towards the dining table, gripping the familiar glass, knuckles turning white as she tightens her hold on it. She’s becoming uncomfortable, unsure and anxious, everything is loud loud loud and Helaena thinks it happened too fast.
She went from cheerful to horrified in a matter of seconds, what if they kill her bugs and push her like the other kids? She doesn’t want that.
Helaena blinks, breathing heavily before taking cautious steps to the corner of the couch, eyes darting before they land on a calm Rhaenyra, re-approaching her.
She hadn’t even realized she’d dropped the glass on the couch and securely plugged her ears with her fingers.
“Why don’t we try these firefly, you don’t have to, but I'll leave them here.” Rhaenyra speaks softly, a calm expression written on her face, before placing herself a comfortable distance away on the couch beside her.
She stares at the headphones, fuzzy on the outsides before slipping them over her ears. She sighed, happily humming, the world becoming muffled and silent, focusing on re-attaching the lid that had slipped off her jar in the process.
Lucerys and Joffrey enter the room, throwing themselves onto the couch and giggling as Alicent approaches, throwing pillows at them, until the entire event turns into a pillow fight, leaving Luke close to tears of laughter, Joffrey gasping for air and Alicent laughing hysterically.
Helaena thinks she can get used to this.
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They’re seated in the corner of the playroom, soft mats, just like the ones Laena had, shield them from the carpet. Lights shaped like stars race against the dark ceiling, lights dimmed and mixing with the moon's sharp gaze.
Helaena met Aegon, Aemond and Daeron, she thought they seemed nice enough, Aemond’s one eye was one of the coolest things she’d ever seen! Daeron had decided they’d eat in the playroom, because he didn’t want to sit on the hard chairs, much to the agreement of everyone else.
Jacaerys was seated on a soft bean bag beside Rhaenyra and Alicent, a bowl of pasta in hand while having an animated conversation with Daeron and Joffrey about whether or not Daeron could beat a tiger. Rhaenyra didn’t seem very convinced at his odds.
Aemond and Aegon were helping Lucerys build a pillow fort, stealing the dining room chairs and soft pillows from the playroom to create what they called “the ultimate hideout” consisting of enough room to fit the 3 of them, and possibly Joffrey.
Helaena had moved beside Alicent, headphones tucked securely over her ears, plate in hand. Helaena only picked at it ever so often, but no one even batted an eye. She avoided the mushy bits and stuck to the more solid foods, it took her around forty-five minutes to complete her meal.
No one even questioned it.
“Hey Helaena! Do you think that if we gave Daeron a suit of armor he could beat a tiger?”
Jacaerys pipes up, Joffrey begins laughing at him.
Helaena giggles and shakes her head in disbelief, full laughter bubbling in her throat. Rhaenyra pumps her fists in the air as a sort of victory.
“I told you! Helaena is right, Daeron you’re not beating a tiger!” Rhaenyra laughs out, tears pricking the corners of her eyes, Helaena notices those things. She thinks it's cool.
“Come back to me when I have my victory!” Daeron emphasizes each word before being greeted with a slide tackle from Aegon and Aemond, dragging him towards their complete pillow fort.
“The tiger has claimed his meal! Daeron has been eaten!”
Lucerys speaks like a commentator, stifling a yawn as Daeron drags himself out of the fort like a wounded soldier, clutching his side in mock pain.
“Alrighty you six, time to get ready for bed, we have a busy week ahead of us!”
Alicent heaves herself up from the bean bag, a collective groan and a few yawns settle around the space, followed by Aemond dragging Aegon out of the room and towards the staircase.
Helaena feels anxiety breach inside her chest, straining against her ribs, banging against her heart. She hated night-time, let alone sleeping in a bed she hadn’t had time to fix yet.
As her anxiety settles in, Daeron hauls himself upstairs, groaning about how he wasn’t tired, followed closely by Alicent.
Jacaerys finishes his conversation with Rhaenyra and throws his sleepy brother over his shoulder, the little boy's clothes crinkled and eyes red with sleep.
Helaena kept her eyes fixed on the wall, Rhaenyra waiting patiently.
“We can go up whenever you're ready firefly, I’ll be right here with you, I know it's a big, new, scary thing little one.” She spoke softly, her gentle eyes filled with understanding, a quiet smile plastered across her face. Helaena thinks she likes Rhaenyra.
Helaena slipped off the headphones, placing them in front of Rhaenyra, breathing heavily before snatching up Dreamfyre and shakily rising to her feet.
Rhaenyra didn’t make a move until Helaena had gotten her balance, the young women gently guiding Helaena upstairs, the sounds of Jace wrangling up Aegon and Daeron filled her ears, easing the pain in her chest.
Rhaenyra showed her how the water worked and how to change the pressure, that they got lilac scented soap just for her, and if she didn’t like it then they could get a different type. After she showered, Rhaenyra used a blowdryer on her hair, holding it a decent way back to stop the sound from hurting Helaena’s ears. The tiles were cool beneath her feet, grounding her in some sort of way.
The pajamas were soft, Helaena ran her hands gently over the fuzzy edges, before she was guided back to her room. All she wanted to do was cry, because it was all too much and she didn’t understand why they were so kind to her, she didn’t understand.
She curled her toes into the carpet, the soft bristles hugging her feet. The room was dim, little spider stars twinkled gently on the roof. Her heart pounded in her throat, a small, choked noise escaped her throat before she composed herself.
Helaena stood a comfortable distance back, feeling more than comfortable in Rhaenyra’s presence, she thinks she could say the same for Alicent. Rhaenyra gently undid the blankets and placed Dreamfyre on the top, before grabbing a large blanket in her hand.
Rhaenyra held it out, for some reason, Helaena felt the comfort to grab it herself. She gripped it, it was fuzzy and extremely heavy, easing Helaena’s nerves into a state of sleepiness.
The blankets in the bed were soft, they didn’t burn or itch as she crawled in, pulling Dreamfyre under her chin and close to her chest. She pulled her gaze towards the door, Rhaenyra stood back as Alicent walked in with a small bottle of water before beginning to speak.
“If you’re hungry you can go down to our kitchen, growing is important and you can eat whenever. Jacaerys is next door with Joffrey and Lucerys. Me and Rhaenyra will be across from you, Aegon and Aemond are down the hall with Daeron little firefly. If you need anything, you can come get us.”
Alicent speaks quietly, her voice is soft and kind, eyes gentle and understanding. Rhaenyra quietly approaches, but Helaena doesn’t have the energy to panic, she feels lulled into an odd sense of calm.
“Can I put the weighted blanket on you little firefly?”
Rhaenyra waits patiently, Helaena nods and the weight on her chest brings her a sigh of contentment. She squints her eyes open, a little grin splits onto her face at the sight before her. Lucerys is laying on the floor, their heads poking around the door, Joffrey, Aegon, Daeron, Aemond and Jacaerys poke their heads up in age order, Jacaerys ducking down to mean Aemond.
She giggles at the display, Alicent and Rhaenyra chuckling as Lucerys and his Dinosaur pajamas roar, crawling back towards his room. The rest of them take the queue, whispering their goodnights before the sound of footsteps pattering down the hall fill her ears.
She tugs the blanket over her nose, optimism, she hadn’t felt it in a while, it made her chest feel warm and ears fuzzy.
“Open or closed?”
Rhaenyra quietly asks while Alicent turns on a humidifier, the smell of Lavender coating the room, Helaena felt sleep tugging at its reins.
She holds up two fingers and they smile, before the door gently shuts into silence.
Helaena hasn’t felt so loved in years, it's only been a day.
She thinks that she’ll be ok here.
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