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They say journaling helps your well being such as to relieve stress, strengthen one’s memory, improve writing, goal tracking, and many other benefits—therefore prompting Azul to start an activity added to his daily routine. Being the productive that he is who never spares a single second on slacking, he regrets not having started this beforehand. Regardless however, he is looking forward to evaluating his progress in the future.
He went to the mystery shop to buy a notebook and was surprised to see varieties of all kinds of notebooks. From spiral spine notebooks to the paper spine ones, he picked out what seemed more similar to a regular book. It was a regular size notebook with a hard cover, the paper had more fine quality than the rest and so he felt content to start using this.
After his short journey from the shop, he went back to the dorm and started preparing for the opening of the lounge. His journaling purpose is to simply track his everyday life, so naturally he’d have to wait for later.
The shift ends with another success—after going over the reports with Jade, he bids his goodnight and heads back to his room. He sat on his desk with an eager determination to start writing.
He goes over this carefully and tries to remember how his day went in a detailed way from how he woke up until writing this page. And so he starts writing his first entry, he remembers waking up normally, brushing his teeth—all the usual morning routine up, classes, until the afternoon which he paused for a moment to think. He recalls having spent an hour with Riddle—the person he, of all people unfortunately, is romantically interested in. Now this got him pondering for a moment as the purpose of journaling is to also regulate your emotions and frankly, this would definitely have helped despite being a bit embarrassed to write it. But, this activity’s purpose is to help him in all ways and it might not help should he keep some parts of himself, and so he ultimately writes about him:
“...The book I needed was sectioned near to where Riddle was sitting. His table was positioned near a window and since it was an afternoon, the sunset radiated his face beautifully. I.. must admit that this left me appalled by this scene. It was as if it’s a clear picture from the ancient times where gods and goddesses were always described to have an ethereal beauty and I'm certain this was how it was depicted. Hoping he doesn’t see me gawking, I immediately went over to the bookshelf and asked if I could sit on the chair opposite of him. He looked at me with those soft gray-blue like eyes and gave me his permission. Although this isn’t the first time I’ve sat on the same table as him, my chest still pounded, which I'm trying to work on. I fear I’m not great at handling these feelings and, and I’ve yet to approach this matter as well as I should be…”
He reflects on his writing and the flush of embarrassment came over him. Shameful. Just absolutely shameful! He scolds himself. In contrast to how great he is at dealing with other people’s emotions, to himself however, seemed to be a more difficult problem. Going back to the matter at hand, he continues writing with the rest of the events of this day.
After a few minutes, he finished and put his notebook and pen away. He tucks himself in his bed and closes his eyes, he takes a breather and hopes this'll truly help his mental state.
A few weeks went by since his journey in writing his everyday life started. He feels a sense of content to have started this since he could see the progress in regulating his moods, stress from workload and managing feelings. The latter however, was more complicated than he thought. While it’s true that writing his feelings too have helped him, it led to him seeing it as a more complex issue.
Entry 4:
… The entire dorm directors were summoned by the headmaster for a monthly academic review for its students. The meeting entailed tracking progress and input from the professors to keep track of any students who’ve become unruly or needed help etc. Simply any other at all, but, I noticed Riddle who seemed to have dark circles. It’s no surprise for the top student of my level to overwork, but isn’t he doing too much? His stubbornness is quite a feat and an annoyance at the same time. He’s a genius in multiple aspects and yet he always charges right ahead no matter how it takes a toll on him, how foolish. If he would just come to me, a fellow housewarden who’s also his peer, for help, I would not mind lending a hand and this wouldn’t have happened. Sure, I could take a price from a caliber like him, but what’s wrong with working together? If he were to form a relationship, it should be me! I mean, I am the only one who can rival up to him with a clear gap from the rest of all. Doesn’t he realize that I have more benefits to be with? And so…
Entry 9:
…I picked up my tray and headed for the table where Jade and Floyd are sitting. As I arrived, the table was also shared by Riddle and his friends, Trey and Cater. I could feel something deep in my chest as I sat down, with how Jade and Floyd stared at me with an interesting look didn’t help… They couldn’t have known.. Or do they? Well no matter, I never intended to discuss it with them anyway. Although it’s been a while since I had the urge to just strangle these twins and rip off the so-not-obvious smirks to their faces. I kept my calm and greeted the other dorm beside us and started a conversation with the twins. While listening and minding my food, I couldn’t help but notice Riddle smiling while having a pleasant time with his friends. Of course I wasn’t staring the entire time, he was seated on the opposite bench so he was in my peripheral vision. Something about Cater inviting them to an outdoor activity… I couldn't make much of it since I was involved in a discussion while eating. This went on for a few minutes until I finished my meal, it was a pleasant one at that and as I started to finish my drink, I noticed that Riddle had a sauce beside his lip... I’m afraid it did not go well with me. Yes I’m aware of my feelings and yet, I can’t help but feel.. Idiotic for thinking it's cute and making me feel so flustered over a trivial thing.. I should be saying something but nothing comes out and I fear I might give away too much if I glanced at him, even for a second especially when the twins are with me. Just by simply feeling his presence makes do the unthinkable… confessing.. Which I would never do, but it’s a thought I’m mulling over it some time. Anyway…
Entry 15:
… Just after Professor Vargas finished on what he had to say, he called over the student who was assigned to help me with my flying skills. That student was Riddle… I feel as though I could break the broom I’m holding as I wished for the gods to turn the ground into a sea so I could dive into the depths. This was just the worst, Riddle.. Of all people? Was he so frustrated at me he brought in Riddle? I decided to let this slide so we could immediately get a head start. We said our greetings and Riddle seemed nice to me since he hasn’t said any other comments..? I was surprised to see how he wasn’t making any fun of me, or is he waiting for a chance? Nonetheless, he sure was strict with his precise teachings and went on with the fundamentals instantly. He then showed off a demonstration, and by Sevens, he looked magnificent in the air! I found myself admiring this breathtaking scene unfolding, going through the hoops with the right speed and altitude, tricks performed with such ease and balance. I’m aware he didn’t excel on flying at first on account of Jade, so then this must be the rewards of his efforts. It’s not a surprise for me at all and yet seeing his fruits of labor leaves me speechless at times. He’s amazing, his perseverance is something to take note of, in fact I’m a bit envious, but still… I think this is why I took an interest in him, at first it was merely due to his status at the rankings, but over time, I found him to be more of a remarkable person whom I’m proud to chase after to do my very best. Aside from his excellent abilities, he’s a good person and a bit of an airhead at times which I learned to find adorable. Part of me longed to get to know him well.. Sometimes, I question if it would be alright of me to confess to him. Would he be disgusted? I know how I do well in both business and academics, my only flaw is just P.E and flying, that’s all! Does he have a preference? Would he be interested? No.. I then immediately snapped out of it as Riddle finished his part and landed his broom safely in front of me with a smile on his lovely face. But my mood turned sour as it was now my turn to demonstrate, I could feel the dread and anxiety over me, but no matter, I simply couldn’t fail him after he graced me with such a splendid show. He then made a cheeky comment and that confirmed my suspicions that he was waiting for a chance after all! I felt all pumped up and hopped on my broom then…
Entry 18:
… Now after submitting my dorm’s papers to the faculty, I decided to head back. But as I was walking in the hallway, I saw Riddle, who was seemingly standing in front of a vending machine with a curious look. I thought I should greet him and maybe inquire what he’s doing. After I made way he told me how he’s interested in tasting a soda drink, he never drank sodas and while he understands how unhealthy it was, he still wanted to try it for the sake of experience. I gave him my advice since these sodas were quite common in the lounge. He then bought the orange flavor and decided to drink it back at his dorm with ice cubes as per my recommendation. We had a pleasant chat as we walked together and for some reason, I felt comfortable with him. Like all my troubles I'm worrying over was suddenly lifted off my shoulders. I found myself smiling more than usual until he made a comment about my flying skill once again. I retorted instantly which prompted him to chuckle lightly. At that moment, I thought about how I needed to hone my skills more as it’s embarrassing to face the one who’s teaching me. I promised him to give my all and went overboard when I mentioned that I’ll even best him at P.E. He started laughing even more at that statement, but my feelings couldn’t stop thinking how endearing he looked with that soft face and an angelic laugh. Curses his charming looks, it’s irresistible! Before I could comment any further, he paused his steps and looked at me while seemingly calmed down now. Then he told me, “Well, I certainly won’t back down from a challenge and.. No doubt you’ll be great at it one day. I believe you.” I was shocked… I asked for more or if he’s making a knack out of it, but he simply denied and continued how I always work myself too much that it wouldn’t be a surprise if one day I’ll have perfect scores on flying, then he continued on with his compliments on how I handle such things. We’re both top students so of course we’re similar and yet what he says is completely different from him. I know well how my reputation is to the school, but this is how he perceives me? ‘Well-adept’ ‘Hard working’ ‘Capable of harboring any skills’ ‘Worthy of his title’ on top of that, he was praising me! believing in me! His words are indeed what I aspired to be. but hearing it from him… I don’t know. I was staggered. I felt a bit overwhelmed as he went on while I could feel my chest pounding so hard and feeling flustered all over my face... Maybe.. Just maybe I have a slight chance? …
Entry 20:
… While I was walking on my way to the dorms, Riddle called out to me from behind. He tip toed and reached something on my head which turned out to be a leaf. Goodness… he did that when he could’ve told me? I hope he didn’t notice how tense I looked. He asked where I was heading and told me he's heading for the same destination and asked if he could walk with me. My senses told me something was up, but I ignored it. And so we strolled over while having a pleasant chat about the upcoming exams and recent tests until he brought up an interesting topic. During history class, there was a topic about a king and queen’s love story, and he asked me what I thought about romantic relationships and added on if I’m interested in having one. That caught me by surprise, somehow my instincts don’t feel right. He could not have known, it’s simply impossible! and I don’t believe Jade would blabber anything… Unless he was under the influence of a bizarre mushroom that tells you the truth? No.. Maybe he was curious is all.. I told him a vague answer as to not give away my strong feelings. When I threw the question back, he said he was interested. I caught how he glanced at me with an indescribable look, like my instinct was just telling me, something is amiss here.. Could it be? No.. I don’t think so, but is it safe to assume I have a chance? Riddle is a wonderful person who deserves someone of his equal, and judging by his answer, I might see a light to this after all? We chatted all the way until…
Azul looks back to these recent entries and finds himself mulling over it. With all the possibilities in his head, he decided that he should start making a move to see how things will go. He thought that a person like Riddle deserves someone who’s best for him, so he’ll take the initiative first.
The Octavinelle housewarden may have declared his plan to start moving the pieces, but unfortunately, he was flooded with paperwork due to multiple mishaps by the headmaster. He even forgot to update his journal for the past three days due to fatigue and with the upcoming exam next week resulted in more workload. He heads to the library to study and might as well take his notebook to update it there as he presumes things will be busy for him later on.
Just as he gathered books from the shelves, he was missing a few until he found them on a table used by the person whom he was just losing his mind over. Riddle stood up and stacked the books he was using which made the other to believe he was leaving so he chimed in and put his things on the table quickly.
“Riddle! Are you leaving with those? If not, I’ll take it off from your hands then.” he points to the stacked books he’s carrying.
“Hm? Ah, indeed I was. I intended on borrowing these four but not these so here, I’ll give it to you” as he put the stacked books down, it wobbled and fell off to Azul’s things as well.
“Ah! I’m sorry! Let me arrange these for a second” Riddle apologizes and starts gathering all the stuff to which Azul chuckled and helped, “It’s no worries at all.”
After putting each things back, the red head says, “Alright. I’ll be excused now and.. Might I add that for this history book here, I suggest you skip over the first few chapters since it’s irrelevant to the topic. I even thought I got the wrong book.” He drags his fingers over the table of contents. He smiled before saying, “Well, that is all. Goodluck.”
“I see. Thank you for pointing it out, you’ve helped me a ton. Goodluck as well” He shares his gratitudes with a beam and this interaction brimmed him with even more motivation to further himself. He resolves to think about his feelings for the other after exams—he can’t slack off when he is still his rival after all.
The day finally ends and he’s about to head for bed. He packs his bag and makes sure he’s got everything in order until he notices a missing notebook…
His heart dropped.
He could not have been that much of a FOOL as to have brought a personal journal with him out in public. It was already curfew and students weren’t allowed in school so he had no other choice but to wait for tomorrow. He curses himself, so much for improving one’s memory, huh? You are an idiot! He curses himself multiple times and thinks this thoroughly, he was at the library and it must’ve taken place during a light accident caused by Riddle… “Hm? Ah, indeed I was. I intended on borrowing these four but not these so here, I’ll give it to you”
He could feel more than a headache as of what he’s experiencing right now. He crawls under the covers before he could explode and decides that he deserves a sleep after such a tiring day. Just this once, he’ll let the aftermath affect him tomorrow.
Knock knock knock
Azul woke up begrudgingly to the relentless knocking on his door, he checked his phone to see the time, 6:00 AM?! THE SUN JUST BARELY GOT UP? Who in the world with such audacity.. He thought as he groaned while getting up. With an unpleasant mood, he’s sure to give the person on the other side of the door an earful. He reaches for the door while being ready to go off on whoever interrupted his slumber only to see
“Riddle?” He says with an agape look as he stares at the boy in front of him.
“Azul.. May I come in?” Riddle says as he gulped with both of his hands holding his notebook to his chest.
In any normal circumstances, he would’ve lost his mind and would’ve said some things unbefitting to him. But since he has just woken up, his mind was slower than usual. “Of course, Please come in” he says while gesturing to enter.
Riddle stepped in and seemed to take a liking to his room as he observed its surroundings. Things finally start to sink in for Azul and panics immediately.
“Th-that notebook..!” He says with a horrified look which made the other snap to his senses, “I came.. To return this..” he says it softly with a bright red to his face as he hands the notebook to the other.
His face confirmed Azul’s speculations just now as dread starts to take a toll on him—his mind overworks itself immediately as he finds a way to solve this matter. He doesn’t even know where he should be starting so he says whatever defense mechanism he has.
“I take it you’ve read its contents?” He asks with a low voice as to not give away of any panic he has in him.
Riddle stares at him as he too was lost for words when facing him, but he eventually replies with a hum.
The taller boy breathed in and out and talks in the most calming manner, “I see.. Alright.. So you’ve probably come here to blackmail me, correct?” this left the red head puzzled and his calmed expression crumbled down in a swift as he couldn’t hold it any much longer, “W-well what is it?! You intend to share this with everyone, don’t you? Or what? Did you want to use me?! BERATE ME? MAKE FUN OF ME? WELLL I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY STEP-FATHER IS A LAWYER AND A BRILLIANT ATTORNEY IN MY HOMETOWN! I’D HAVE NOOO ISSUES IN SUING YOU FOR LEAKING PRIVATE INFORMATION AND DOCUMENTS!!!”
In return, the red head pops a vein as he was baffled by what he said just now, “sue me?... YOU’D SUE ME? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?!?” he argues back angrily to the other.
“WHY NOT?? THIS IS A CLEAR ACT OF VIOLATION ON MY RIGHT! MY RIGHTS!! YOU’D ALSO HAVE TO FACE REPURCUSSIONS—”
“AZUL!!!” the red head cuts him off loudly before the other went on and on. Both calmed down and started to recover their demeanors then took a second to realize that their lashings may or may not have awoken the others. Riddle then takes a few steps towards him which prompts the other to step back until his back hits the desk table, “Do.. you have anything else to say to me?” He asks in a soft voice with a faint blush.
The other could slowly start to feel the flush of red to his face, “Pardon?” he asks.
Riddle takes another step and leans in slightly with an expectant look, “I said, do you have anything to say to me?”
Huh… Impossible..
But maybe…
A moment of silence with a certain tension fills the gap between them as their chest pounded loudly before Azul finally manages to say what he’s been wanting to say to the other.
“Riddle, I like you. I’ve been interested in you for quite a long time now, but I do apologize for my behavior as I’m not an expert in ‘this’”
He nervously chuckles before straightening his posture and continuing on,
“You’re the most amazing person I’ve met since I arrived on land. You inspire me to exceed my limits and stun me in ways I would not have expected. You’re kind-hearted who’d go out of their way for others and things that I can’t help but simply be surprised and that’s just one of the many sides of you that I know of; whether you’re angry or confused, I personally find them all endearing to me. You strive to keep on moving forward to better yourself and that’s one of the qualities I greatly admire about you. I would like to get to know you more as I'd also be willing to share the same thing. I yearn for a mutual relationship with you as equals or as two people who hold each other significantly."
He pauses for a second,
"So.. if you’d be willing to grant me the honor... Riddle, Will you go out with me?”
He finally lets it all out, a part of him feels relieved but also anxious on waiting for an answer until a smile comes to form over Riddle’s lips.
“Yes, I accept.” He replies with a soft smile, then leans in closer and tip toes his feet, and gives a kiss to his now-boyfriend’s left cheek. The action leaves both of them in deep red and bashful appearances.
Before Azul could properly process his accepted confession in which they’re basically dating now, Riddle speaks up again, “Well.. I do apologize for interrupting your sleep, but I believe it is only fair since I had an unpleasant toss and turn sleep, in a good way of course…” He then heads over to the entrance and grabbed the door knob, “We’ll have a lot to discuss, right? I'm sure you'll have things to say for me. Then, we’ll see each other later?” He asks with a soft look that would be deemed as a finishing move to Azul who was now on the verge of collapsing on the ground.
“Yes, I believe we will. I’ll see you later.” He replies before the other bids his farewell. Leaving an octo-mer to a state of bliss as he recalls of their exchange just now.
Suffice to say, he never got to go back to bed and sleep for another sweet hour. Despite a happy ending, he was sure to have some words to say for the other in regards to what he read, but for now he'll make a note to buy a small vault for his journal.