Chapter Text
The Marauders Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions
Remus Lupin is sat on the left wearing jeans and a white shirt under a light yellow sweater vest, with Lily Evans by his side in a maxi short-sleeved olive green dress. Sirius Black is in the middle, in a colorful crochet long sleeved crop top, ripped black jeans and white combat boots. James Potter is by his side, wearing slim green jeans, a tropical pattern white shirt and round glasses with frames the same shade of forest green as the leaves on the shirt. Peter is sitting on the right, wearing a plain amber shirt with washed jeans.
“We are The Marauders and this is our Wired autocomplete interview!” They say in unison.
Autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the internet
“Let’s find out what you lot want to know,” James says happily, showing a board to the camera.
So Wired asked The Marauders some of the internet burning questions.
“First one! Are Sirius Black and James Potter…” James takes out the sticker. “a couple?” James reads laughing. “Are we, Padfoot darling?” he asked Sirius.
“Unfortunately James was able to resist my charms, so we are not together,” he answers to the camera. “Next!”
“Sirius Black-” James takes out the next sticker. “and Marlene McKinnon are a couple?”
Sirius smirks and shakes his head.
“I was hoping this one would be discarded… No, Marlene and I are just very good mates.”
James nods and continues.
“How many-” he takes off the sticker. “tattoos does Sirius Black… have?”
“I don't know, I kind of stopped counting after fifteen,” he says, looking at his hands and pulling his sleeves to inspect his arms. “Do any of you know?” Sirius asks the band, but he looks at Remus.
Lily shrugs and also looks at Remus, Peter does the same.
“I think the last time we checked it was around 30?” Remus answers.
“He just had a couple last week, so I think 32 now,” James adds.
“32 then,” Sirius shrugs.
“Is Sirius Black-” James takes off the sticker with a flourish. “related to Alphard Black?”
All of them smile nostalgically and look at Sirius.
“Alphard Black was my uncle. I never got to meet him, but he always was a big inspiration for me,” he looks at his band mates. “To all of us.”
“Is Sirius Black… a prince?”
Remus laughs quietly, Lily and Peter roll their eyes.
“Does this mean more than one person searched for that?” she asks.
“I may not be a prince, Miss Evans, but I’m related to one!” he looks at the camera. “Sirius Black the first was a prince, I think. ‘Cause in case you don't know, I’m Sirius Orion Black the third, not very original of my parents,” he looks back at Lily. “I’m some part of what is left of the French royal family, but I don't want anything to do with it.”
Lily nods, pretending to be impressed.
“Okay! Sirius Black-” James takes off another sticker, making everyone look at him. “and James Potter's parents. Are you talking about my parents or his parents? Or about us being someone's parents?”
“The Potter's are not my parents, no matter how much I want them to be,” Sirius interrupts James.
“But they took care of you like you were their own,” James says.
“And for that I’m very grateful.”
James throws the board behind him and someone gives Peter a board.
“James Potter…” he takes off the sticker. “Hair company.”
“My parents have a hair company called Sleekeazy, the best products on the market. But I don't know anything about hair care.” James laughs and runs a hand through his hair.
“Where’s James Potter…” Peter begins. “from?”
“I was born and raised in London,” James smiles knowingly, as if this is a question he has to answer a lot. “But my parents are from Jaipur in India.”
“Does James Potter-” Peter takes the sticker off. “really need glasses?” he reads laughing.
“I’m offended, of course I need glasses!” he looks at his band mates questioningly.
“Well, how can I tell you this…” Sirius begins.
“You usually follow some nonsense trends,” Lily continues.
“So it makes sense for people to question whether you really need glasses when you change your frames every other week,” Peter finishes.
James pouts and motions for Peter to continue. The rest of the band laughs.
“How many-” Peter takes off the sticker. “instruments does James Potter play?”
James smiles again at the question.
“Short answer is: a lot, but there's a difference between knowing how to play and being good at it,” James explains. “I’m obviously good at the drums, and also all types of guitars and the sitar. I kind of know how to play piano, violin and the flute.”
“And he sings too,” Sirius adds.
“But I don't like it,” James says.
“Yes he does,” Sirius whispers.
Peter puts the cardboard on the floor carefully as someone's hands Remus a board.
“Who…” Remus takes the sticker off. “is Lily Evans?”
“I ask myself that same question every single day,” Lily says, smiling wryly.
“Are Lily Evans-” Remus takes the sticker off. “and Sirius Black dating?” he looks at her trying not to laugh.
“I was hoping this one was discarded,” Lily sighed. “No, Sirius and I are not together and will never be.”
“You wound me Evans!” Sirius dramatically puts a hand on his chest. Lily ignores him and motions for Remus to read the next one.
“Lily Evans…” he takes the sticker off. “writes all the Marauders songs?”
“No, I only help the band with some of the lyrics.”
“Don't be modest, you wrote a few songs all by yourself,” James argues.
“Maybe one or two, but not all of them,” Lily insists.
“But you make it look like you are dispensable and you're not,” Sirius says with conviction.
James nods enthusiastically, Remus and Peter also nod. Lily's cheeks get a little redder.
“If you say so,” she murmurs. Remus reads the last question of the board.
“Where are Lily Evans and Remus Lupin from?”
“We’re from Cardiff, in Wales,” Lily says and smiles, Remus nods with a nostalgic smile and puts the board on the floor. Sirius makes grabby hands for the next board.
“Are Lily Evans… and Remus Lupin related?” Sirius reads.
“No, but we grew up on the same street and are childhood friends,” Remus answers.
“Remus Lupin-” Sirius takes the sticker off “accent!”
“Well, as Lily said, we are welsh so…”
“What… bass does Remus Lupin play?” Sirius asks with a small smile and Remus really grins for the first time.
“A Danelectro Longhorn. I have three of them, the black one everyone knows, a classic brown that was my first and a custom made midnight blue full of stars. It was a gift and I rarely use it,” Remus answers.
“He loves that thing, it's his baby,” Lily adds.
“How… tall is Remus Lupin?” Sirius reads.
“Too bloody tall,” James says before Remus can answer, Peter and Sirius nod enthusiastically.
Remus looks at them unimpressed.
“I’m 6’4.”
Sirius throws the board behind him as Lily grabs another board.
“First I’d like to thank you for searching “Peter Pettigrew '' instead of “Peter from the Marauders”. It’s the first time I have a surname in years!” Peter says before Lily starts reading the searches.
“Peter Pettigrew… guitar solo.”
“Well, I have a few of those. I think my favorite one is from Sorry not Sorry, I really like to play this song on stage . ”
“Peter Pettigrew-” Lily takes another sticker off “age.”
“Same age as everyone here, 21.”
“Peter Pettigrew… mother.” Lily smiles at Peter but he doesn't look at her, looking at the camera instead.
“Edwina Pettigrew, my mum, is my favorite person in the world. She has a lot of followers on her crafts YouTube channel, you may have seen her around.”
“Is Peter Pettigrew nice?”
“Well… I think so?” He looks at his bandmates for help.
“Of course you are mate!” James says, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. The rest of the band nod and Peter gives James a small smile.
“Does Peter Pettigrew… like Sirius Black?” Lily continues, raising her eyebrows.
“Who doesn't like Sirius?” Peter asks back, with a small smile.
Sirius grins and shrugs, Lily drops that board as if she's dropping a mic. James picks up the last board.
“Okay, last board: The Marauders!” he shows the board to the camera. “Where's the Marauders-” he takes the first sticker off. “flat?”
“We can never tell you!” Sirius says.
“This information is top secret, so we can't share it with you guys,” James pretends to be sad about it.
“All we can say is somewhere in London, the best city in the world,” Peter shrugs.
“Everyone asks us why we still live together,” Lily says. “And I don't know how to answer that…”
“I’m just used to this, to being together,” Remus says.
“James, Peter and I have lived together since we were 11,” Sirius says. “And with Remus since we were 15.”
“I don't really know how to not live with them anymore,” James says and passes the board to Sirius.
“The Marauders… high school,” Sirius reads. The band smiles and answers all at the same time.
“We all went to Hogwarts,” Lily answers.
“Best years of our lives,” James adds.
“My favorite place in the world,” Remus says.
“I miss Hogwarts…” Peter says a little lost in thought.
“The Marauders… songs,” Lily reads.
“We have a lot of those.” Peter answers.
“This is the perfect opportunity to tell you lot to go listen to our new song Cake by the ocean ” Sirius says winking at the camera. Lily passes the board to Remus.
“The Marauders… Minerva McGonagall.” he reads with a fond smile.
“Minerva was our music teacher at Hogwarts,” Peter begins.
“She’s everyone’s favorite and the reason we're here today,” James adds.
“We love you Minnie!” Sirius says, sending a kiss to the camera.
They pass the board so Peter can read the last search.
“The Marauders-” he takes the sticker off.
“Nicknames!” The boys happily read at the same time.
“Oh, if I was one of you lot this would be the first search I’d do!” Sirius says. “I’m Padfoot, because-”
“He thinks he can be sneaky when he gets home late and takes off his docs by the door but he isn't,” says James at the same time Sirius says “I like wearing fluffy socks.”
Sirius looks at James with a disapproving frown and James laughs awkwardly.
“What?” he asks Sirius.
“Both answers are kind of true,” Remus interrupts their stare fight. “I’m Moony, because the first song I ever wrote is called Talking to the moon .”
“You may have heard it around, is a top chart hit,” Sirius says.
“I’m Prongs,” James says. “And I don't really know why they call me that.”
“James gets wonderstruck easily-” Peter starts to say.
“Like a deer in headlights,” Sirius adds.
“And deers have antlers that can also be called…” Peter says, looking at James for an answer, as if it's something he had to explain many times.
“Prongs,” James finishes. “It’s kind of a ridiculous reasoning.”
“But you love the nickname,” Sirius states. All of them look at Peter.
“I’m Wormtail,” Peter says. “And the reason they call me that is embarrassing.”
“On the holidays during our last tour, we stayed at Remus’ aunt's house," James started.
“On Christmas brunch, one of my little cousins put a wormtail on Peter’s empty plate,” Remus explains.
“They are little devils,” Peter says. “But I’m still sure it wasn't their idea because these blokes,” Peter points to his band mates. “Know how scared of rats I am.”
They all start quietly laughing.
“He screamed so loud,” Sirius says.
“And made so much drama about it,” James adds, trying not to laugh.
“When you retell the story it doesn't seem that funny but if you were there…” Remus says.
“And saw how red with anger he was…” Sirius says.
The three of them burst into laughter, even Peter laughs embarrassedly. When their laughs start to slow down someone clears their throat.
“Well, I’m Lily.”
Everyone looks at Lily with wide eyes, as if remembering she doesn't have a nickname.
“Lily still doesn't have a nickname!” James voices their thoughts.
“You’ll eventually think of something,” Lily says.
“We should let it come naturally,” James says. “Just like ours.”
“I do call her a lot of things like: Evans, Miss flower, typewriter or Red, for obvious reasons,” Sirius says.
“And I already told him to stop calling me that,” Lily says.
“You call me ‘Black’, why can't I call you ‘Red’? It 's only fair.”
Lily gives Sirius a look.
“That’s it!” Peter throws the board behind him.
“Already?” Remus asks.
“It was super fun, I wish we could answer more boards,” James says.
“I’m surprised no one asked about my hair!” Sirius exclaims.
“Why would people search about your hair?” Lily asks wryly.
“They should!” Sirius says. “Look at how flawless it is!”
Sirius throws his hair at Lily and she rolls her eyes.
“That’s enough of bantering kids,” James intervenes.