Chapter Text
Rui is off to college tomorrow.
Mizuki hasn't quite processed the fact Rui is leaving yet. She doesn't know what to feel. Happy that he’s pursuing a career in robotics? Sad that her boyfriend is leaving? Rui had assured her that he’d figure out a way to make their relationship work long-distance, but he’d also promised that three years ago, and that hadn't worked out at all.
Rui is off to college tomorrow.
Mizuki remembers the day she met Rui. That day, she thinks, her life changed forever. She doesn't know how things would've turned out if she hadn't met her dear friend—now boyfriend—on the rooftop. That day, Mizuki found someone to live for, something to keep her going.
Her life without Rui was lonely. She had her older sister to keep her going throughout all of the teasing before she’d met Rui. Yet her dear sister Yuuki had gone overseas, and her dear friend Rui felt so close and so far.
“I’ll be able to talk to you,” Yuuki had said. Yet Mizuki learned the hard way that a fifteen hour time difference is hard to manage. They’d barely been able to say a word to each other since.
Rui had said the same, and he was still in Japan. Yet neither could bring themselves to so much as call the other. They hadn't talked for months; Mizuki still gets a sinking feeling in her stomach whenever she thinks about it. What if that happens again? Will I be all alone?
You have Niigo, Mizuki scolds herself, but it isn't the same. She doesn't go to school with them. She doesn't know their darkest secrets, and they don't know hers. Rui is the only person she knows that is like her at Kamiyama. What would happen if she were alone at school again? Would people leave me? Oh god, Rui, what do I do?
Mizuki supposed her relationship with Rui was nice while it lasted. Yet all good things must come to an end, and she had learned this the hard way when Rui had to say goodbye and leave her behind on the rooftop. She had learned it the hard way when her sister left. And she is living it once again.
—
Rui is off to college tomorrow.
Mizuki lets out a pained laugh. Will I be lonely again?
Just two months ago, she’d celebrated Rui’s eighteenth birthday with their other Kamiyama musician friends. Tsukasa had written a long speech about everything Rui had done for him and his friends. Toya had given him a nice watch and a heartfelt “Happy Birthday!” letter. Even Akito and Ena had come to celebrate and give him gifts, Akito’s a set of high-quality notebooks and pens, and Ena’s a drawing of Rui himself.
Nene had given him tickets to a show near the college he was going to, and in an instant, it seemed, that was all anyone could talk about. Rui’s robotics scholarship this and make sure to text us when you’re gone that. We’ll miss having you around this and I’m sure you'll do great things that.
Everyone had been happy. Mizuki was supposed to have been happy with them. Yet all she could think about was another year, just like three years before, with Rui away from her side.
Rui had noticed Mizuki’s upset expression during the party. She’d blamed herself endlessly that night for making her boyfriend worried.
Mizuki had never been all too good at hiding her feelings to begin with.
Rui pulled her aside after the party.
“Are you okay?” he’d asked.
“Just tired,” she’d responded.
They both knew it was a lie, but neither could bring themselves to say anything else.
—
Rui is off to college tomorrow.
The two had called that day. Rui had gone on and on about his robotics scholarship and college, with a few I’ll make sure to visit -s and a few more you know, it's only an hour by train -s.
“That's nice,” was all Mizuki could bring herself to say. “That’s nice.”
But I’ll make sure to visit and I’ll make sure to talk was just what Rui had said three years before as he was entering high school. He hadn't done either. He'd left her behind. Sure, they'd been friends two years ago when Mizuki came to Kamiyama as well. Sure, they’d become something more just last year. Yet no matter how far they progressed in their relationship, Mizuki was never able to let go of what had happened just three years ago.
Will I be all alone again?
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
I have all my friends, but they don't know me like Rui does.
“Just tired.”
They don't know about me. Would they leave me, too?
“I’m worried about you, Mizuki.”
Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do?
“I’m fine, Rui.”
I’ll miss you more than anything.
She’d hung up and buried her face into her pillow. Curse her inability to tell anyone what's wrong.
She woke up the next morning with a tear-stained face, still wearing her clothes from the previous day, and that was when she had come to the realization.
Rui is off to college today, and I don't know how to say goodbye.