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John flinched at the sounds of gunfire.
They’d been going off all night, but it still made his heart drop and turned his stomach into lead.
The Germans had made a decision.
They were executing every POW in camp, starting from the East Barracks and moving West, with guards posted at every barrack until the executioners arrived. A small fight had broken out at the initial announcement, but it was quickly squashed as the Germans had all the firepower.
John was shaking.
He’d started shaking the second the guards locked the door of the barrack, and stationed themselves around it.
It was real.
It was happening.
They were about to be executed.
He and Gale had positioned themselves on the ground against the wall, with their legs and shoulders pressed against each other. The others had taken up similar positions on their bunks, or at the table. All of them sitting quietly, murmuring prayers, or fidgeting nervously.
“I thought I’d be able to face this a bit more bravely,” he muttered, trying for the hundredth time to get control of the tremors coursing through his entire body.
“Hmm.” Gale leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes. “You’re facing it like everybody else. Like a human.”
“Mmm.” John placed his hand over his mouth, fighting down the urge to throw up. He would not do that. “I’m okay, I’m okay.” He exhaled shakily and relaxed slightly as the feeling passed. “I’m okay.”
“I know you are,” Gale said lowly.
John lowered his hand and looked around the room at the others. “I really thought we’d get out of here,” he said softly.
“I know.”
“I thought we’d make it back to base, and then keep going until we made it back home, and then...” the words halted on his tongue.
“We’d start our lives together,” Gale finished.
John looked at him, unsure if he’d heard what he’d actually heard. Gales’s eyes were closed, and his face betrayed nothing of what he had just said. “What?”
“You heard me.” Gale opened his eyes and looked at John before a small smirk played at his lips. “Deathbed confessions, I guess.”
John chuckled weakly and shook his head in disbelief. “You son of a bitch.”
Gale’s eyes roamed John’s face, every movement intentional, like he was seeing it for the first time and committing it to memory. “I know it’s bad timing,” he said softly. “And I’m sorry about that. I honestly thought we’d have more time.”
“You and me both.”
Gale reached out, almost hesitantly, and completely uncharacteristically, to place his hand on John’s knee. “I really thought that if there were two B-17s left in the air, that it’d be you and it’d be me.”
John placed his hand over Gale’s, just as another round of guns was fired.
John flinched, and Gale closed his eyes.
It was getting harder not to throw up.
Gale squeezed his hand. “I’m scared too.”
John closed his eyes and attempted to breathe through the nerves. He hated being nervous. He loathed the feeling of tremors overtaking his body, and the state of frenzy it put his mind in.
“I didn’t think it’d be like this,” he admitted after a few minutes of formulating his thoughts.
“What’s that?”
“You and I confessing our feelings and desires for each other, right before being executed.”
“I know. I’m glad we did it, though,” Gale replied softly. “I would rather walk into the unknown with you by my side, than the alternative.”
Another round of gunshots.
Another flinch.
A new, mental flash of all the good men whose lives were just ended.
They were getting closer.
“Breathe,” Gale murmured. “Just breathe.”
John, who was trying not to show that he was gasping for breath, shook his head. “We’re running out of breaths, you and I.”
Gale squeezed his hand again. “Then you better make the most of the breaths you have.”
“Our Father, who art in heaven,” Murphy began to pray aloud, with his hands clasped together and head bowed. “Hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” Several of the others had joined him by the time the prayer was finished, most of their voices shaking with nerves.
The room was full of scared boys.
That’s what they were.
They were boys.
Oh, God.
They were far too young for this.
Gale seemed to sense the fresh wave of rising panic and brought John’s hand to his chest. “Breathe, John.”
“I can’t,” he muttered.
“You can. In through your nose, and out through your mouth.”
“They’re boys.”
“I know. But we’ll lead them through it. Now breathe. Just breathe, John.” He made a point of raising his chest exaggeratedly with each of his own breaths, willing John to match him.
“I shouldn’t be like this.” John got out, between heaving breaths. “I’m a Major, damnnit. Why am I like this? Why-why aren’t you like this?”
“Oh, I am. I’m just not showing it in the same way.” He adjusted John’s hand so that it was pressed flat against his chest, directly over his heart.
His heart was racing.
John closed his eyes and absorbed every beat of Gale’s heart, as though every beat were for him and him alone.
Another round of shots were fired, but this time John was so focused on Gale’s heart, that he barely even heard them.
“Gale?”
“Hmm?”
“If there’s only one good thing to come out of this war, it’s you.”
Gale turned his head and looked at him again. “And you,” he responded. He brought John’s hand, up to his lips, and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his knuckles.
John closed his eyes and imagined more. He envisioned everything that being with Gale would be. The calm, steady firmness of his hands, his hot breath against his neck, his lips exploring every part of John’s body.
“This isn’t fair,” he muttered.
“I know.”
“We deserve more time. After everything we’ve given and done, we at least deserve that.”
Gale placed his other hand on John’s cheek and stroked the ridge of his cheekbone with his thumb. “If there is a heaven, then that is where you and I will find our time and place to be together. There won’t be a war or a society to conform to. It’ll just be us. You and I, and the rest of forever.”
John’s eyes burned with tears, and he let them fall. “That sounds nice.” He leaned forward and rested his forehead against Gale’s. “I guess dying won’t be so bad, not if we’re going together,” he said softly.
“And we are.” Gale nuzzled his forehead against John’s. “You and me, and the sky.”
The tremors slowly faded, taking with them the anxieties that had gripped his heart since the announcement had been made.
Minutes ticked by, during which John held onto Gale, and Gale held onto him.
The world could end, and they would face it together.
Gale suddenly began to hum, soft enough that only John could hear it.
John lifted his head, and frowned at him.“What are you...?” And then he recognized the song and knew what Gale was doing. He chuckled softly and rested his head against Gale’s shoulder.
“ Never saw the sun shining so bright,” Gale’s voice floated around him, and for a brief moment, John wasn't in Germany. He was back at Thorpe Abbots, sitting next to Gale and enjoying the events of the evening. His boys were alive and well, Curtis was safe in Scotland, and soon they'd be announcing a bike race happening in the Mess Hall. “ Never saw things going so right. Watching the days hurrying by, when you’re in love my how they fly. Blue days, all of them gone. Nothin’ but blue skies from now on.”
“I didn’t think you knew the words,” John murmured.
“You sing it often enough,” he responded. “I was bound to pick it up eventually.”
“Hmm.”
A few more minutes passed before fists suddenly banged on the door.
Everyone jumped, as it was shoved open, and 5 guards filed in.
“Up! Out! Move! Now!”
Gale was up first, and pulling John to his feet. “It’s okay,” he said loudly, to the boys who were now scrambling to figure out the best way to face what was coming. “It’s okay, now. We are going to go out there with our heads high and take what is coming like the soldiers all of us are."
Several heads nodded, and murmurs of agreement swept through the room.
Gale looked at John and slipped his hand into his. “Together,” he said softly.
John nodded.
The room began to empty, as the boys filed out. Some with their arms around each other, and some with their arms wrapped around themselves.
Before he could process what was happening, John's feet were carrying him out to the yard, where the guards were lining them up.
The sun was glaring down at them, and yet he could barely see.
He could barely think.
All he could do was follow as Gale led him to the line.
They were still holding hands.
John had never clutched something so tightly.
“I’m here,” Gale murmured. “I’m right here.”
John forced himself to nod. “Mmm-hmm. Me too.”
Words were shouted in German, prompting the line of guards across from them to raise their rifles and point them at the men.
John’s heart began to pound, seeming to attempt to get a lifetime of beats out as fast as it could.
Gale’s hand tightened around his.
They were down to mere seconds.
He needed to say something - anything.
“Buck?”
“Yeah?” Gale turned his head to face him.
“You, me, and the sky?”
Gale smiled, softly. “You can count on it.”
A final word was shouted in German before the guns went off.