Chapter Text
Tony descended into the chaos that was breakfast in Stark Tower. At least it was just chaos with cereal flying everywhere and Clint leaving the milk out and not calamity. Calamity was when you let Darcy anywhere near the stove while it was on, thanks to JARVIS and his handy lock out protocols, calamity hardly ever happened anymore. He was put out as he realized that Natasha & Pepper had managed to escape the chaos by sharing a romantic breakfast on the balcony, something he and Steve usually did if Tony managed to haul himself out of bed early enough. Sadly it didn't happen nearly as often as it should. Clint was the first to notice that Tony had come into the room and greeted him with a quick nod, "So what's on deck for today," he asked, as the din rose behind him, Thor extolling the virtues of Captain Crunch.
"Well the first thing is to try and get Thor down off of his sugar high, after that you'll have to ask your boyfriend," Tony replies, making a beeline for the coffee pot and the liquid ambrosia contained within.
"You kidding me?" Clint snorts, sliding the milk down the counter to Tony, who promptly splashed a generous portion into his coffee. "He doesn't tell me anything classified, there's no special benefits to sleeping with the team's handler."
Clint jumped as a mild voice commented from over his shoulder "If that's the way you feel about it Barton, perhaps I need to relearn how to sleep alone." Clint turned to find Phil Coulson standing behind him clad in pajama pants and SHIELD t-shirt. "No sweetie, that's not.... I'm in trouble aren't I," Clint asked, hanging his head.
"Trouble, no. Just be prepared for the next solo extraction assignment in Antarctica when it comes up," Coulson replies mildly, putting an English muffin in the toaster. Clint shivered remembering the last time he was Antarctica, and he wasn't looking forward to it again.
Bruce and Darcy were down next, dodging the playful wrestling match that Thor and Jane were having over the Captain Crunch. Jane was up on Thor's back trying to keep the box held up over his head and Thor was valiantly allowing her to win. Darcy raised an eyebrow at her boss and gave Bruce a peck on the cheek before heading over to the stove. She pushed the power button on the stove several times, and was about to call Bruce over when JARVIS' voice popped up over her head, "I'm sorry Miss Lewis the stove is unfortunately down for maintenance at the moment, may I suggest oatmeal or perhaps a bowl of cereal?"
"Again? That's the third time this week JARVIS," Darcy said, disappointed. She grumbled something about living with three scientists but no one can fix a damn oven and grabbed a bowl of Coco Puffs. Tony surreptitiously gave the ceiling a thumbs up before continuing.
“So Bruce are we still on for the secret project in the lab this morning?" Tony asked, not really attempting to be subtle at all.
Bruce looked at Darcy rather sheepishly, to which she merely raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and kept chewing her Coco Puffs, before responding, "I actually told Darcy that I'd go with her to the Natural History Museum today. They have an exhibit on the history of Democracy that she really wants to see."
"And being the best boyfriend in the world that he is," Darcy started as she got up to rinse her bowl and leave it in the sink. "He's coming with me and we're going to have lunch in the park afterwards," she finished, coming back over to Bruce and wrapping her arms around him from behind.
"Museum and picnic in the park, isn't that a little tame for you," Tony asked, skepticism clear in his voice.
"I may or may not be planning on nude fun time at lunch," Darcy admitted, as she started walking Bruce towards the stairs.
"But if Bruce is going to the museum who's going to build light sabers with me for tonight's Star Wars marathon?" Tony asks pitifully, scowling at Bruce's retreating back. At this Clint's head popped up and when Tony noticed, his eyes lit with a gleam of joy that everyone knew was dangerous. "Clint, what about you old Jedi, old pal?" Tony asked, knowing for sure that he'd found a partner for his insane scheme.
Coulson hauled Clint to his feet, began moving to the door, and replied for his boyfriend, "Agent Barton and I have a classified op in the city scheduled for today. We'll be back in time for tonight though, I wouldn't want Clint to miss his Wookie time." Clint scoffed a little at this but didn't say anything, realizing that discretion may very well be the better part of valor. "Where's Captain Rogers?" Coulson asked, "Isn't he supposed to keep you from doing things like manufacturing dangerous weapons as a movie prop?"
"He scooted out in the middle of the night on some job for Fury and promised to be back for movie night,"Tony replies, loosing a little of his manic edge. He perked right up though as Pepper and Natasha came back in from the balcony. "Tasha? Do you know what Clint and Coulson are up to today? Agent Agent just said they had a classified job and left it at that," he asked, staring at the doorway that the two men had just gone thorough.
"Oh that," she says, with an airy little wave of her hand. "They're going to babysit Coulson's niece in the city, he's trying to talk Clint into having kids," she finished, hanging on Pepper and occasionally nibbling on her neck as the taller redhead rinsed their dishes.
Tony sat completely still on the counter for a moment while his brain rebooted, "That's... I don't...LALALALALALA I DIDN'T HEAR THAT!" he shouted before turning back to his previous topic. "Either of you lovely ladies want to come help me build light sabers for tonight's grand Ray Park inspired pre-movie duel?" he asked hopefully.
Natasha gave him a look that could be best interpreted as: I'm going to cut you open with a rusty knife and reel your intestines out two inches at a time until your throat is raw from screaming for mercy. What she actually said was, "We're tired and are going back to bed."
"Aw come on, sleeping all day makes for a lazy agent. Besides Pep, don't you have the Cross Tech meeting this afternoon?" Tony asked, pouting just a little.
"Actually that got moved to next week. And Tony, my girlfriend just got back from a three week long undercover operation in Syria last night. We're going back to bed," she finished as she and Natasha sashayed towards the stairs.
"Need a third set of hands?" Tony asks more out of habit than anything else, he was actually quite content with limiting his physical fun times to Steve these days. Neither of them said anything, but Natasha raised her middle finger as the two of them made their way up stairs. "Guess that's a no then," Tony muttered to himself, "Now where am I going to find a mad lab partner?"
"You know," came a female voice from behind him, and Tony jumped because he had forgotten that Thor and Jane were still in the room, "I always wanted to build a light saber when I was a kid."
"Really I always figured you for more of a Leia kind of girl,' Tony replied, looking over to where Jane and Thor were eating bowls of Captain Crunch while seated on the floor.
"Nope I was Jedi all the way," she replied. "So what's the deal with the light sabers, I figure a brain like yours would have knocked them out pretty quick?" she asks. "On the engineering side sure, but I'm occasionally weak with theoretical particle physics which is why I thought Bruce might be able to lend a hand. Do I detect the faint tones of interest in your question Doc Jane?" Tony asked, eyes narrowing as he threw out a metaphorical baited hook.
"What kind of physics problems," Jane asks slowly, setting her bowl down, which was immediately snapped up by Thor who finished it in a single gulp.
"Well the single phasic plasma equations were a breeze," Tony starts, grabbing a napkin and pen to jot down a few numbers, symbols, and a picture. "But I'm having a tough time with the dual phasic numbers necessary to figure out the infinite loop inhibitor. On the plus side I've managed to miniaturize the old palladium powered ARC reactor to power the things," he finishes, shoving the napkin towards Jane.
She looks at it for a few moments before scribbling some random notations. Thor stared in rapt fascination for a moment, he's always loved to watch Jane work, before he scrambled to his feet. "As much as I would stay and watch thee work my love, I promised my father that I would attend him this day. I shall return to partake in the viewing of Star Wars this eve," he says, making for the stairs to go grab his hammer.
"Huh? Oh, goodbye love," she answers, before giving him a peck on the cheek. Not content with this Thor catches her chin and kisses her firmly before saluting Tony and taking his leave. She flushes and looks stunned for a moment before turning to Tony, "Well the first thing you need to do is re-route the plasma conduit so the energy diverts around the emitter head rather than smashing through it and I would probably re-calibrate the energy transfer rate so that the ARC reactor energy doesn't surge through the hilt and blow out the saber's electronics," Jane continues, as she and Tony start making their way to his lab.
She continues explaining some of the changes they'll need to make as they walk and Tony pumps his fists in victory, "FOR SCIENCE!" he shouts, as the two walk off, leaving the kitchen in it's state of chaos.