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She should have never made Han try to reason with Ben. She should have realized Ben had been too far gone to be saved. All these thoughts ran through her head as Leia looked down at Han unconscious lying in bed.
The medics told her it was a miracle he survived the initial stabbing, a inch higher he would have hit his heart, any deeper it would have paralyzed him. But with the massive bleeding the medical team valiantly tried to stop, the chances he would survive were touch and go.
Leia sighed running her hand through his hair like she used to do. He often liked that, it was a sense of comfort for him when nightmares of the rebellion plagued him. She thought maybe doing something so familiar would wake him up. Maybe she had too much hope….but with all she looked forward to now that he was back in her life, maybe optimism would shift the force in a positive direction…..they could go back to the way they used to be.
If there was one thing she knew all too well…hope always one thing that crushed any form of darkness in it’s path.
“Han if you can hear me….” Leia said quietly, “I just need you to hang on a little bit longer.” She paused and took his hand in hers gently, “you survived torture, plane crashes…even carbon freezing….you can survive this…” she swallowed, “after everything….I am not ready to lose you again….I l-” She tried to say the words but she just couldn’t say them. Not when it had been years since she said that.
Silence, only the sound of monitors filled her ears. Suddenly she felt a strong grip on her hand.
“I know,” Han slurred. Leia looked down with silent tears. He was still a little pale but a weak smile still grazed his lips, “Sorry I…was waiting for…the cue….I was getting a little impatient.”
Leia smiled and laughed in a small bit of relief as she leaned in close resting her forehead against his.
“You scruffy looking Nerf Herder,” Leia said her thumb brushing on the inside of his palm, “I’m….I’m so sorry I put you in this position….if I would have known….”
“You had hope…” Han responded hoarsely, “something I wish I would have had.”
“Even after all this you now have hope Ben will come back to us,” Leia said her fingers now absent mindedly running against his forehead.
“If you didn’t have hope would I be back here?” Han said closing his eyes gently reveling those little touches he so missed. “To have this second chance?”
Leia sighed deeply. He was right. She couldn’t lose hope now. Not after it seemed by the look of his eyes, one part of her life was back. Something she needed with her other two important parts missing.
“I have you back,” She simply said, “and we’ll get him back….but first….you need to recover.”
Han never answered. He just ran his fingers against her cheek as she leaned forward and pressed a small kiss against his lips. Ben may have not been by their side, like she so hoped and prayed he would one day be, but with the man she loved with the fire of 1000 stars, that hope, no matter how much it dwindled would still remain alive.