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Hunter had always been a pretty light sleeper but ever since Tech had died, he seemed to wake every few hours or so, assuming he got to sleep at all.
That fact was only aggravated by Omega getting kidnapped.
Tech was gone. That was absolutely certain and the permanence of it made Hunter feel like he’d had his insides scraped out, leaving him a hollow husk of who he had used to be.
Though she had returned to him now, Omega’s fate had been uncertain back then and, in a way, that was a far worse kind of torture. Not knowing had been eating him alive. What little sleep he got was disrupted by nightmares of his little girl being interrogated or experimented on or something far more horrifying.
When she returned, all through her own ability, his sleeplessness didn’t stop, nor did the night terrors.
Tonight had been especially cruel though. In his dream, he had been an arm’s length away from reaching her. Finally, after months of searching, he’d found her again. But she didn’t see him. Nor did she see the danger around her.
Tech sometimes made an appearance in Hunter’s dreams. It was the only place he was still alive and they could talk like they used to. He wasn’t as detailed or complex as Tech had been in life, merely a crude approximation patched together from Hunter’s memories, but it was a lot better than having nothing at all.
But it also wasn’t. It was also excruciating. Waking up after one of those left him numb for the entire day, sometimes multiple days. It was just a reminder of what he no longer had.
Tonight, however, Tech was not himself in Hunter’s dream. He was what he’d been turned into by the Empire.
His skin was grey and partially eaten by worms, pieces of flesh hanging off. Congealed, brown blood oozed from the holes in his body as he dragged himself from the earth towards an unsuspecting Omega, his throat emitting an inhuman screech that could only be made by decaying vocal cords.
That was when Hunter found his feet couldn’t move. When he ran, he ran in place. When he yelled to warn her, no sound came out. All he could do was watch in something far beyond horror and absolutely indescribable in any language as the creature using Tech’s body like a puppet scraped its feet along the ground closer and closer to Omega, reaching out to grab her with its peeling, gnarled claws.
Finally, it had her in its grasp and she screamed as it leaned down, bearing its blood-stained teeth, to her throat and then-
Hunter awoke hyperventilating and covered in sweat, the ghost of a scream, her scream, on his lips. It took him a few seconds before he realised where he was again.
He was on the ship. They were parked on Pabu. They were safe, for now. Omega was sound asleep in her room. Tech was still…
But was Omega really okay? He couldn’t see her so he couldn't be sure. There was a curtain at the front of her room that they put there to give her privacy and to make it feel more like an actual bedroom but that also meant if something happened to her, he wouldn’t be able to see it.
It sounded ridiculous when he thought about it for more than a few seconds. It was such a tiny space, but his fear wasn’t rational and he didn’t care that it wasn’t. No part of his feelings towards her were rational. Ever since she’d entered his life, he’d found himself doing things he’d have never done in a million years. There wasn’t a line he wouldn’t cross for her now.
He stood up, having to steady himself on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake anyone else around him.
If Wrecker or Crosshair were woken up by any noise he made during the nightmare, they respected his dignity enough to pretend to be still asleep.
When he reached the curtain to Omega’s room, he hesitated for a moment, wondering if he was finally losing it or if it, whatever it actually was, had already been lost for quite some time. If he was being completely honest with himself, and he rarely was, he had been feeling loose around the edges ever since Crosshair first left and that had been an era ago. If he’d been slowly unravelling since there probably wasn’t much of him left.
He peeled back the edge of the curtain ever so slightly, just enough to see if she was there.
She was. Hunter was hit with a tidal wave of relief. Finally, the adrenaline wore off and his heart rate began to slow down.
He let the curtain fall closed again, retreating from Omega’s part of the ship.
He didn’t think he could stomach staring at the bottom of the bunk above him considering how many hours a night he already spent doing that, pleading with sleep to come to him, so instead of going back to bed, he made his way to the cockpit, sitting in his usual spot.
His relentless, whirring thoughts burned holes in his brain the entire time, going over and over everything he knew, with a hundred percent certainty, to be true. It was the only way he could keep himself anything close to grounded. The line between his dreams and reality had begun to blur more and more these days.
No one could get her here. They were safe for now. Tech was dead. He knew where she was. She’d escaped the Empire. They were safe for now. Tech was dead. She’d been capable enough to not only get herself out but also Crosshair. He had visual confirmation of her location. They were safe for now. Tech was dead.
Tech was dead.
Tech was dead.
How could they ever consider themselves truly safe ever again? His absence left a hole in the squad that would never be filled. It wasn’t just what he brought to the group, although his insight and knowledge had been invaluable. He brought peace of mind by being there. They were all cogs in a system and his had been ripped out.
Hunter had loved Tech. Loves him. But what was the point of still having so much love for someone and not being able to give it to them? It just meant it collected in Hunter’s chest with nowhere to go. It made him feel like he’d explode eventually. It was a physical, tangible pain most days. The very idea that Omega might’ve joined Tech in whatever plane of existence he was in now… well, Hunter didn’t think he’d survive that.
He couldn’t even use the word death or anything close to it in the same sentence as her name. It was an insult to her and everything she was. She’d brought him back to life when they’d met and he refused to consider even the notion of anything bad happening to her, even though it already had. Maybe that’s why his dreams were filled with nothing but scenarios of that nature. His subconscious mind was finally able to roam free and expose what he was terrified of most.
And Tech was still dead.
“Are you alright?”
Hunter nearly jumped at the sound of a voice wrenching him away from his spiralling anxiety. He should’ve heard someone near him but he’d been so distracted. It didn’t say much about the current state of his genetically enhanced senses. It seemed even they were being affected by his exhaustion and whatever else was wrong with him, and what purpose did he serve without them?
Omega stood behind him, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Lula clutched tightly under one of her arms.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?” He asked, preemptively being hit by guilt because it would have to be a hell of a coincidence for her to have woken up on her own, right after he’d disturbed her.
“I don’t think so.” She might’ve been lying but if she was, she made it sound convincing. “Are you not sleeping well?”
“Not really.” He didn’t want to lie to her. She was smart enough to know when he was but even if that weren't the case, he wouldn’t dishonour her like that. He loved her too much to mislead her over such trivial things as bad dreams. “Too much to think about.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
Hunter raised an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know if that’s-“
“Don’t say something about how young I am because do I need to remind you that I figured out how to escape all by myself?” She smiled at him in a way that made any resolve he still had against her power over him completely disappear.
She reached out for him and he picked her up, settling her in his lap and holding her like she’d vanish again.
“Too tight!” She yelped but not loud enough to wake anyone, giggling sweetly. It’s like she knew exactly what to do to get through to him and make him feel better. She barely had to do anything at all. She merely had to exist. Hunter loosened his grip just enough so he wasn’t smothering her but not so much that he felt like he was losing any of their closeness. “So are you gonna tell me why you can’t sleep?”
There was something ironic about her claiming not to be a child and then climbing onto his lap, holding her stuffed toy that was still about half the size of her, but he didn’t care. She might be too big to do this one day. He’d be the luckiest man in the universe if he lived to see that and he expected it would break his heart in a way it had never been broken before.
“I was just worried.”
“You were? About what?”
You. Also pretty much everything else in the galaxy but you first because you’re more important than the galaxy.
“The usual. The Empire.”
“It’s alright.” She leaned against him, blinking sleepily. “We’re all back together. We’ll be okay.”
How she could still be so optimistic in the face of all she’d endured was astounding. There was no limit to the things she was capable of. If anyone could change things in the galaxy for the better it was her, but Hunter knew he was horribly biased. He wouldn't be able to downplay just how amazed by her he was for the littlest things even if someone forced him. She'd saved him without even trying, so it made perfect sense to Hunter that she could save everyone else too. She just needed time.
In her mind, as long as they were together, everything would work out and she really believed it. She wasn’t as naive as she used to be, and Hunter had a list in his mind of everyone he knew of who had contributed to the loss of even a fragment of her innocence, but she still had enough hope in her to believe they would all get their happy ending, even in the face of loss. She made him want to have hope too. He hadn’t quite gotten there yet, but she made him want to try.
She made him dream about a life he’d never considered a possibility before. A quiet life. No more fighting, no more running, no more death. Just watching her grow up, if he even deserved that privilege. He just wanted her to live.
Knowing her had cleaved him in two. There was who he had been before knowing her, and there was who he was now.
“I hope you’re right, kid.”
“Of course I am. When have I ever been wrong?” She teased, closing her eyes and slurring half of her words together, feeling completely safe in his arms, as sleep snuck back in like waves softly lapping at the sands of her mind.
Hunter was convinced he didn’t need sleep if he had her. Knowing she was sleeping was like he was sleeping himself, which objectively wasn't true but that's how she made him feel. She had a healing presence about her, and he wasn't the only one to notice.
But after a while, he was able to drift off as well, following her into that gentle sea. She'd turned him into a walking mess of contradictions, illogical thoughts and irrational decisions, but that was what it was to love someone that much. He could never be objective when it came to her. She represented everything he had to protect and he'd go with her anywhere she asked.
When Crosshair woke up first the following morning and went down to the front of the ship, seeing the two of them passed out together in the reclined chair, he made sure he was extra quiet so he didn't wake them.