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From the moment he could understand things said by other people, Charlie had realised that he wasn’t important, that his existence didn’t matter to anyone. The only person who cared even a little bit about him was his mother.
After his father started abusing his mother, he couldn’t fault his mother for abandoning him and going away to live her life. His father was a jerk who gambled away all their money and more often than not came back home drunk. He gambled away all his money and then sold Charlie to Tony to earn more money.
In Tony’s mansion, Charlie hoped to find his reason to exist, to still be alive in this world and he found it in the form of Jeff. Jeff, who was a little too young to be in the mansion, who he had an unexplainable instinct to protect from whatever could hurt him. They became fast friends in the lonely mansion and then soon became brothers.
Jeff was the first person who seemed like he actually cared about him, it showed in the glances he gave whenever he came back too late from Tony’s trainings, it showed in how he always had a hand on his shoulder when he would throw up because of the migraines that came to him when he absorbed someone’s powers.
He was still hesitant to believe that Jeff really cared about him until Jeff almost got himself run over by a truck on purpose, just to get himself and Charlie out of Tony’s house.
Charlie had never expected anything back from someone he loved and he loved with his whole heart, he could throw his own life away just to protect the one person in his life who cared about him.
So it came as a shock to him when Jeff did that to get him out of Tony’s house. Jeff had known that Tony had been going too far with Charlie lately because he hadn’t been showing any results.
Charlie usually did his best to hide the consequences of Tony’s training but for the past few days, he couldn’t help but wince when he moved, which was a blaring red sign in Jeff’s eyes and hence Jeff took drastic measures to get them out of Tony’s clutches.
That was also the first time Charlie was genuinely mad at Jeff for being reckless and almost throwing away his life.
“Phi-” Jeff begged. Charlie brushed his hand away in anger, hiding the absolute terror of losing Jeff, his sole reason for existing was to protect Jeff, the only person in this whole world who gave back the love which he hadn’t expected to be reciprocated.
Jeff was his younger brother, who he had to look after. How could Charlie protect him when he tried to endanger his life and Charlie had no clue at all? Charlie felt useless and hated himself more than anything at that moment.
“You don’t get to throw away your life like that Jeff!” Charlie said, raising his voice at Jeff for the first time.
Jeff looked at him, his eyes shining with determination, “It may be unbelievable to you, but you matter to me and I couldn’t let Tony keep doing what he was doing to you and don’t you dare hide it from me.”
Charlie’s eyes stung with tears at the confirmation that Jeff really did care about him. He turned around to hug him, his grip on Jeff’s shirt being unforgiving, as his tears soaked Jeff’s shirt. “I can’t lose you, what use will be my existence if I can’t protect you?”
Jeff’s eyes softened, “You don’t have to protect me Charlie, I can protect myself and you are worthy by yourself too, your worth isn’t determined by how well you protect me.”
Charlie didn’t look like he believed him but if Jeff said so then it must have at least a little bit of truth in it.
After that, things seemed to have gotten better, Charlie started living for himself, he went to university, graduated, had a job as a freelance video editor as well.
Of course, he still hovered whenever Jeff got injured or Jeff was first starting university and had to travel by himself, but he didn’t seem to think that his existence was only just associated with how he protected Jeff.
In lieu of Jeff and Charlie’s plan, Charlie finally found out the person attached to the name ‘Babe’, which was the only clue they had from when they had escaped Tony.
Charlie was more than determined to save Babe because he couldn’t leave someone to suffer that kind of fate, after knowing what Tony planned to do with him.
He went to the racetrack daily and observed Babe from afar. The aura of a king, the grace and power with which the alpha held himself was alluring to him. He slowly started falling in love with Babe, which made him even more determined to protect Babe.
Charlie, for the first time in his life, let greed get the better of him and approached Babe under the ruse of borrowing a car, which in fact wasn’t totally a lie either, since he started watching Babe, he also started to observe other racers and actually got interested in racing.
It just so happened that the person he fell for was the top racer in all of Thailand. When he approached Babe, he had expected to be rebuffed or maybe somehow be kept as a servant or bodyguard, anything to be close to the person he’s supposed to protect.
He had not expected to get to experience Babe in a way he had never imagined he would ever get to and he knew there was no going back after that for him.
He would do everything in his power and beyond to save Babe from Tony’s plans.
After that everything went downhill.
He knew that if got too involved in someone’s life, he'd ruin it, just like he did with his parents, just like he almost did with Jeff.
He really tried his best to not get attached with Babe, but being with Babe was so addicting, it felt right, even though he knew that someone like him shouldn’t be attached to someone like Babe.
All he had to do was stay away from Babe and protect him from afar, but he failed to do so. He got attached. Babe got attached.
He could see it when Babe first chose to kiss him, he could see it when Babe got jealous without knowing the nature of his relationship with Jeff, he could see it when Babe asked him to be his boyfriend .
It was unfathomable but it seemed like Babe liked him too. He could see it when Babe forgave him way too easily for stealing his powers, when he should have hated him, thrown him out of his life without a second thought but Babe didn’t.
Instead, he hugged him and told Charlie not to sacrifice his life, as if Charlie mattered more than Babe’s powers.
But the future changed and something had to be done to protect Babe and he would gladly be the sacrifice, if it meant keeping Babe safe.
He wanted Babe off the track on the day he had planned the accident, he tried to be stubborn about this one thing and he disappointed Babe. He didn’t mind that Babe was disappointed in him, even though it stung. He would just have to make sure Babe didn’t get caught in the accident.
“Why does Babe have to be stubborn, today of all days?” Charlie groaned. Jeff looked at him with a hint of sadness. “You don’t have to do this, we could think of another way.”
“You know that if there was another way, we wouldn’t have to do this and Tony might make his move anytime, we have to act before him,” Charlie said, the determination shining through his voice.
“Don’t worry Jeff, everything will be alright after this, the target will be off of Babe’s back and we’ll succeed in our plan.”
“And what about how Babe will feel when he thinks you’re gone?” Jeff questioned, he knew what his brother was thinking.
“He’ll be alright and you know it Jeff, he’ll move on, he can finally live his life freely.” Charlie said, voice shaking slightly at the thought before he steeled himself again, “He’ll be fine.”
“You know he won’t-” Jeff protested immediately. Charlie shook his head, he could hear the signal for the racers to get ready.
“Phi, just be careful,” Jeff said, hugging him tightly.
Charlie took a long look at Babe, this might just be the last time he would get to see Babe and he was determined to give his life, if it meant Babe was safe.
The race started and he could feel Babe speeding in from behind. His eyes met Babe’s, he could see the anger in Babe’s face. Babe sped past him and pulled ahead surpassing Winner and Charlie.
It was time. Charlie quickly jerked the steering wheel to the right and the car rolled over. Before long, everything went black.
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Charlie slowly opened his eyes, not recognizing his surroundings, he tried to sit up quickly, but pain exploded behind his ribs, making him grunt.
“Hey kid, don’t try to move so quickly, you’ll hurt yourself.” Charlie turned to look at the voice.
“Uncle Reval!” Charlie tried to get up again, but a strong hand held him back. He turned around to see Jeff, holding him back.
“You just got out of a potentially life-threatening accident, at least take care of yourself now Phi!” Jeff said, a sad look flitting across his face.
Charlie complied, not wanting Jeff to be sad on his account. “I feel fine though, you don’t need to worry about me.”
“Like hell you’re fine! You have a crack in your femur and several broken ribs, there’s no way you are fine!”
Charlie looked appropriately chastised and said, “I’m sorry Jeff, I’ll take care of myself.”
Jeff sighed. “If you don’t I’ll really strap you to the couch and force you to rest!”
Charlie nodded quickly in agreement. “How’s P’Babe? He’s alright isn’t he?”
“Do you really think he’ll be alright knowing that you died?” Jeff glares at him. “He’s been crying his eyes out, barely eating or coming to the garage, Alan has to go check on him daily so he doesn’t do something stupid.”
Charlie has the audacity to look shocked at the fact that Babe had been suffering so much due to him. His shocked expression morphed into sadness.
Charlie didn’t even think his loss would cause so much pain to Babe. “Maybe I really shouldn’t have done this.”
“Don’t regret it now, me and you both know that this was the only way in which all of us could have escaped from Tony’s plans unscathed. Just focus on getting well first, then we can focus on taking down Tony” Jeff said, wrapping an arm around Charlie’s shoulders.
Charlie nodded. He needed to get well and get back to his P’Babe as soon as possible. He couldn’t let P’Babe suffer anymore.
He wouldn’t dare to hope that Babe would forgive him after how much he’s lied to him and he would never expect it but he had to see for himself that P’Babe was safe and for that he had to get back on his own feet first.
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P’Babe actually forgave him, he couldn’t believe his ears when Babe said that he forgives him. Babe seems to actually be happy that he’s alive, genuinely relieved to see Charlie standing in front of him, not a hint of the anger or hatred that he had been expecting was found on Babe’s face.
Everything should have been fine. Everything is fine, no matter what Jeff accuses him of. There’s definitely no dark circles under his eyes and he has been sleeping just fine.
Except he hadn’t. Even after the resolution of all matters regarding Tony, Charlie just couldn’t sleep, nightmares of Tony hurting the people close to him, especially Babe, plagued him nonstop, and Charlie, not wanting Babe to be disturbed, started sleeping less.
He couldn't let his instinct to protect Babe from all harm just settle down without doing something about it. Hence, he started staying up late, working on his laptop and getting through clients’ request quickly, even though he technically didn’t need to continue his job as a freelance editor anymore, but a little more money never hurt anyone.
He just hoped that the nightmares would subside soon, so it doesn’t worry Jeff a lot.
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Something was wrong with Charlie, ever since he came back, he’d barely seen Charlie sleep.
He was always up late with Babe having fun with him and while Babe succumbed to sleep, exhausted from their activities, he’d imagined that Charlie would also sleep but when he woke up in the morning, Charlie was never in bed with him, always up before him, already freshened up and preparing breakfast for him.
He had noticed Charlie’s worried gaze sweeping around the corners and dark alleys whenever they were outside like someone was going to attack them at any moment, even though the imminent threat of Tony was already gone from their lives forever.
This constant vigilance was clearly taking its toll on Charlie, making dark circles appear under his eyes, which he tried to hide, the slight pale look on his face, the way his clothes started to seem even more loser on him, indicating the slight weight loss.
It worried Babe to see his boyfriend wearing himself out, whenever Babe tried to confront Charlie, he always laughed off his concern with some excuse and succeeded in distracting Babe from the matter.
He knew this was going too far when Jeff asked to talk to Babe in private.
“I’m sure you have also noticed Charlie is wearing himself out.” Jeff said, his face concerned, glancing at Charlie, who was talking to Alan about his plans for the upcoming season.
Babe nodded and said with frustration, “I have noticed, he barely even sleeps anymore and whenever I try to confront him, he always rebuffs me and pulls up some excuse, I don’t know what to do.”
“You need to talk to him, Phi, this bout of his anxiousness seems to be related to you, with how he hovers around you.”
“I know, I’ll talk to him tonight.” Babe said, determination shining through his eyes.
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That night, after their night time routine, Babe pretended to fall asleep, hoping that Charlie would get some sleep too. But it was for naught, because as soon as Babe’s breathing evened out, Charlie left the room and he could hear his footsteps heading downstairs.
Babe laid in his bed, waiting to see if Charlie would come back. When there were no signs of Charlie, he decided to head downstairs himself.
Charlie was sitting on the couch, with headphones on his ears, trying to work on something but his body seemed to be betraying him, because he was nodding off, before shaking himself awake and continuing his work.
“Charlie?” Babe called out, while heading downstairs towards the couch. Charlie instantly attained full awareness.
“P’Babe? Did you need something? Are you alright?” Charlie asked, his voice frantic, confirming Jeff’s suspicions about Charlie being worried about him.
“I’m alright Charlie.”
“Then, did you need something?” Charlie enquired, tilting his head, reminding Babe of a cute little puppy and reminding him of how young Charlie really was.
He should not have to worry about this stuff but also get to enjoy his life, but due to Tony’s upbringing and maybe something even before that, Charlie was forced to grow up faster, so that he could protect his loved ones from the dangers of the world.
Babe shook his head, settling down on the couch beside Charlie, “I’m just worried, I have noticed that you haven’t been sleeping these days.”
“It’s just I have got this very persistent client and once I’m done with-”
“Don’t lie to me Charlie, not again please.” Babe said, his tone pleading.
Charlie hung his head. “I’m sorry, P’Babe, I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“Charlie, of course I’m going to be worried when the person I love the most is suddenly not sleeping. I can see you losing weight and I don’t like it.” Babe said, caressing Charlie’s face.
Charlie’s eyes glistened, hearing how much P’Babe loved him, he knew Babe deserved honesty from his side too.
“I-its just some stupid nightmares P’Babe, I know theoretically that Tony is gone and we’re all safe but years of being aware constantly is not an easy habit to let go and I can’t, I won’t lose you, P’Babe,” Charlie’s voice broke towards the end, as he willed the tears to not flow from his eyes.
Babe pulled Charlie in a tight hug, “We’re all safe again Charlie, you don’t have to protect me all the time, I can take care of myself, if you keep going like this, you’re only going to hurt yourself.”
“It’s better me hurting, than any of you-”
“Charlie! Don’t say that, I know you think that your life is somehow worth less than mine or Jeff’s or anyone at the garage, but it's not the case, we all love you, let us protect you sometimes too.”
“But P’Babe-” Charlie argued.
“Charlie, you don’t have to do it on your own, you mean so much to me, please don’t be unkind to the love of my life, let me help you too” Babe said gently, his thumb rubbing circles on Charlie’s cheeks.
Charlie seemed at a loss of words from the constant reassuring words from Babe. He nodded tentatively. “I’ll try my best P’Babe, I’ll try to ask for help too.”
It wasn’t easy for Charlie, who always believed in putting others first, but he’d try for Babe and Jeff and all the other members of the garage who loved him.
Babe smiled gently at him, “Come, let me help you sleep, God knows you need it.”
Charlie went easily without any protest, snuggling up to Babe once they were back on their bed.
And later, when sleep came to Charlie in fits, with nightmares shook his sturdy frame, making him curl into a ball, Babe was there to hold him, soothe him, whisper sweet nothings into his ears, until he could feel the last of his nightmares fade away.
He relaxed into Babe, safe in Babe’s arms, Charlie knew he’s going to be okay, they’re going to be okay and lets sleep claim him again.