Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Two particular students at Jade Mountain Academy were on their merry way to a particular cave at the heart of the school.

Peril swore up and down to herself that she wasn’t afraid of facing other dragons anymore in her day-to-day life, but the voices ahead sounded… really angry. So she stopped, and she heard Turtle stop behind her as they both tried to recalculate their route. She saw an alternative path and quickly made for it. It would take an extra few minutes, but that was alright; they had the whole rest of the day ahead of them.

Peril was so focused on making it safely to the other tunnel—“safely” here meaning “without being noticed”—that only once she made it did she take a moment to actually wonder what was being said.

From this angle she could see Sunny’s tail, and… someone else in the cave was yelling? At her? Some yelling at Sunny of all dragons?

There was no way someone was complaining about Sunny, right? Sunny was the nicest dragon probably ever. Peril would know, since her very existence tended to test people’s ability to be nice. Dragons who kept being kind even when faced with a monster like her were rare, so Sunny had always stuck out like a sore thumb.

Of course, it didn’t really matter, since Peril didn’t ACTUALLY like Sunny. She was TOO nice. …But still, thinking of anyone insulting her gave Peril an uncomfortable feeling that she didn’t want to explore. 

So instead she looked over at Turtle, swatting her tail impatiently, and saw something much more interesting. He was half a step behind her now, walking very slowly, and looking at a very large crack in the wall. Peril had a sudden flashback to the first time they met… and she thought she knew exactly what he was thinking. It seemed only she had been trying to find a way around this confrontation, while he had very different intentions.

“You know, I used to do that, too,” she said suddenly. It felt loud, but luckily the argument in the main cave didn’t pause for even a second, and she breathed a tiny sigh of relief at not having been noticed again. How odd of a feeling it was to not be the near-center of attention everywhere she went, Peril mused. 

Turtle whipped his head around to look at her with deceptively innocent eyes. “Huh? Do what?” he asked.

Peril was aware she didn’t know how to read other dragons very well, but she wasn’t stupid. “Hide and listen,” she told him bluntly. “Isn’t that what you were thinking of?”

Turtle looked at his talons sheepishly. “Maybe… but I didn’t, so no eavesdropping this time! But think of all the tea we could’ve heard,” he said wistfully, confirming Peril’s suspicions.

Peril thought of the last time the two of them had heard “tea” together. When Starflight very rudely and LOUDLY told everyone that she was in love with Clay. In front of Peril. And Turtle. Though Starflight hadn’t known he had an audience, she supposed, just to be fair .  

But in front of QUEEN RUBY, TOO!!!  

Every time Peril remembered that moment, she felt equal parts of a need to wither away into a puddle of goop on the floor, and a desperate anger towards Starflight that made her talons actually tremble. At times like these she thought that maybe the monster she used to be wasn’t buried all that deep inside her.

“Nope, no more tea, no thank you,” Peril said quickly. 

Turtle obviously started complaining over-exaggeratedly, because for some reason he loved to do that to Peril. She just bickered back, of course, and they both stubbornly kept it up until they reached the underwater lake.

“Lake” was perhaps the wrong word for how small the actual body of water was, but Peril could admit—after Turtle had explained to her—that the cave must be pretty nice for the SeaWing students. (It had taken him comparing this to Peril’s love of flying, which she thought was COMPLETELY different… but she begrudgingly admitted she and the SeaWings might feel SIMILAR things about their respective activities.)

And even without considering the water itself, the cave was relatively cozy and nicely decorated. Although decorated was the wrong word, perhaps; there was a neatly-arranged pile of fruits at the edge of the cave beside a very… tropical carpet, which definitely hadn’t been there the last time Peril had briefly visited this cave. Which was also the only time she’d been here before. She wondered who added the carpet and fruits (and why?), because she couldn’t imagine the SeaWings sitting around on it when there was a perfectly good pool right there. And she definitely couldn’t see them actually eating the fruit, because only the moons themselves knew what gave the SeaWings such horrible taste buds that they could enjoy raw fish. 

In the end it didn’t matter much to her, though; after all, she still couldn’t use the carpet, and she wasn’t feeling hungry.

Although it would be rude to take some when she was barely a guest here. Right? Would that be rude? Or would it be rude to ignore them as if they weren’t good enough?

She opted to do nothing and tried to look nonchalant and NOT like she was overthinking, so she moved to sit on a smooth part of the floor nearby. She watched Turtle sink happily into the pool, diving all the way to the bottom the way he liked to. 

Peril waited patiently until he made his way back up, and only spoke once he was floating comfortably on his back.

“Ha, remember that one time you were hiding from me at the bottom of a river?” she asked.

Turtle scratched the back of his neck as he recalled their adventure together. “Well, it kind of worked, didn’t it?” he tried. “I was safe down there, and you couldn’t see the rock I enchanted. And if you make fun of me I’ll go hide again RIGHT NOW,” he added as Peril opened her mouth.

She closed it, but smirked lightly.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Turtle said suddenly, squinting at Peril. “What were you saying about hiding earlier?”

“What, making fun of you—I mean, pointing out that you wanted to hide again? In the middle of a hallway with a million caves?”

“No, before that. You said you used to hide, didn’t you?”

“Oh…” Peril said slowly. “I guess so.”

Turtle waited.

And waited.

“Okay, and then…??” he asked finally.

Peril startled. “Oh. And then… I didn’t anymore? You know that part.”

Turtle swore that talking to Peril was like talking to a brick wall sometimes. He flipped onto his front and paddled lightly to the edge of the pool, hanging on to the edge to stare at her directly. “Yes, but HOW did that happen? Why did you stop? Or why did you start in the first place?”

It was Peril’s turn to stare at him like he was missing the obvious. “I’m sure you can guess why I stopped, based on what we heard the one single time I eavesdropped with you.” She paused. “But as for why I started…”

For a long time, Peril heard a lot of mean things about herself when she eavesdropped. Especially as she grew older and started to get bigger. Dragons annoyed with Scarlet—but too fearful to say anything bad about HER—wouldn’t hold back their true thoughts about PERIL as soon as she was out of their sights. 

Eventually they started saying those things when they could see her, too.

But if Peril went even farther back… well, she could clearly remember why she started hiding. Because it was fun. It was fun to hear about other dragons’ lives in a way she never would be able to otherwise.

“...I guess it was my way of interacting with other dragons when they didn’t want to talk to me,” Peril finished.

“Oh,” Turtle said sorrowfully. “I’m sorry, Peril.”

“Well, it’s fine,” she said. “I started to learn that nothing good ever came of it for me, so I just stopped.”

Turtle paused, clearly debating whether he should speak or not for a while, and Peril pretended she didn’t notice. “Can I, um, ask questions? I’m really curious,” he finally said. “But if you don’t want to talk about it anymore that’s okay!”

“Sure, go ahead,” Peril said. Her younger years weren’t something she tried to think of often, but a trip down memory lane every so often couldn’t hurt, right? Besides, maybe Turtle would do that annoying thing of his where he made Peril feel better about her problems.

“What kinds of things did you hear at the beginning?”

Peril thought back. It was mostly unmemorable things. “Oh, just dragons talking about which other dragons they were seeing, or plans to hang out with their friends, or something annoying their families did.” She dismissed those things as boring, but there had always been a dull ache in her heart because she herself could never have them. (Or so she used to think. Maybe now…)

“Oh, so just casual things that everyone talks about,” Turtle said.

Peril tried not to frown at his use of everyone. Not her, clearly. “Yeah,” she agreed instead.

“What kind of things did they say about you though?” he asked quickly.

She knew this was a foreign idea to him, but Peril had heard dragons say just about everything under the sun about her. No one was particularly shy when they thought they were having a private conversation. 

“Oh, the usual,” she said casually. At Turtle’s unimpressed expression, she added, “Anything you can imagine dragons saying about a terrifying queen’s weapon was said about me. Better? I couldn’t possibly remember everything after all these years.”

“Did you ever hear anything positive ?”

“No,” Peril said, deadpan. Then she thought for a moment. “Well, you wouldn’t consider those things positive. I did,” she said proudly. Then, more quietly, “Though I still wish it wasn’t all they would say.”

“Oh? Like what kind of things?” Turtle asked doubtfully.

“You know, things like me being scary, and fierce, and powerful,” Peril bragged.

Turtle groaned, loudly. “Okay. Thanks. Noted. Very positive indeed.”

Here he paused for a long moment, twirling his talons on the surface of the water. The silence went on for so long that Peril started to think the conversation was over, and she laid her head down for a little nap.

Long before she could fall asleep, though, she heard Turtle say, “You know, I think dragons don’t think of you the same way anymore. At least not the dragons at this school.”

She considered pretending to be asleep, because she didn’t want to think about that. Peril didn’t like imagining how other dragons saw her. She decided not to move until Turtle whispered, “Are you asleep?” and then she sighed, “No. I’m awake.”

“Well, you know. Could be worth a try to find out. I think you’d hear some nice things this time,” Turtle said hesitantly.

No, she would not, Peril knew. She would never go through with this stupid plan.

~

After lunch the next day, only one thought was running through Peril’s mind as she watched Turtle scurry down the hallway away from her:

Why was she going through with this stupid plan?

Chapter Text

Years ago, there were many empty rooms and vacant nooks in the Sky palace. As Queen, Scarlet made it very clear that any congregating in corners and snooping in hidden places was strictly forbidden, so dragons made sure to do their business loudly and very conspicuously. 

While it meant that adult SkyWings became experts in looking around with shifty eyes in case they were being watched, this setup was a sweet deal for one particular dragonet. For the first few years of her life, Peril had more space to explore, completely free of potential burn victims, AND people talked loudly enough for her to overhear!

Her favorite spot to sit in was far out of the way of her normal daily paths. Peril got the feeling that no one would like her heading out so far from the throne room, least of all Queen Scarlet, but she wasn’t actually being watched at all hours of the day. Besides, she was usually good at being back before anyone noticed, so it was all okay.

Peril was small enough to pass through cracks in walls and otherwise stay close enough to the ground to avoid being spotted, so most days she would head under this particular bench and rest for a while, listening to the idle chatter of normal dragons. Or mostly normal, anyway—things about family or friends or just general life outside the palace. Not that Peril had much of an idea what any of that was like. 

After so many hours spent alone under that bench, she thought she’d learned enough to understand it. But nowadays, her whole life was so different that it made her realize in hindsight how much of a gap there was between hearing about something and actually experiencing it. 

But apparently experiencing it didn’t matter anymore, because Turtle had convinced her to go back to just hearing things, and now he was all the way down the hall. Peril managed to stop herself yelling after him on the basis that she might be overheard, but… fine, she WAS curious what other students would say about her. Not that she should be, because surely Turtle couldn’t be right that they would be kind about her, but no. She was prepared for that, so that wasn’t the problem now.

No, the REAL problem right now was that Peril wasn’t as small as she’d once been. It was quite unfortunate to be forced to confront that fact right now. And here at Jade Mountain Academy, the day after finalizing Turtle’s “plan” (which had only two steps—hide, and then wing it), she was forced to suddenly come to the realization that this “hiding spot” was definitely more to Turtle’s size.

It was too late to back out now, though. Peril gritted her teeth.

For Turtle’s sake, she hoped she managed to squeeze in before any other students walked by. She didn’t want to even imagine how stupid she would look from an outsider’s perspective. Seriously, she had a REPUTATION to keep up, she thought to herself, grumbling. So maybe she wasn’t supposed to be a terrifying Champion anymore, but it didn’t hurt to have some dragons a liiittle afraid of her, right? Better that than them thinking of her as stupid, which they DEFINITELY would if they saw her like this.

Despite her original unwillingness, she couldn’t deny that she’d been heavily curious when Turtle first suggested this, so she begrudgingly gave in and agreed to his plan. Which was a decision she heavily regretted now. It could not be overstated how much her brain was yelling at her to back down from this stupid idea while she still had no witnesses in this godforsaken hall. 

But in the end, the only potential scenario worse than continuing to try getting into this crack was the scenario where she stopped and left, but Turtle and several other dragons still came by to talk about her behind her back.

So with a final push, she managed to slip through the rock and resigned herself to waiting.

After only several minutes, Peril became half-convinced that Turtle had cleverly pranked her and wouldn’t bring anyone around at all. She started to believe it was something he would do, even though he probably wouldn’t.

…Right?

But after a few minutes more, she started to hear voices—faint, at first. As they approached, the first thing she could pick out was her own name. If she had the space to tremble nervously within these cramped rock walls, she was sure she would. Instead she tried not to focus on how, suddenly, at the WORST MOMENT POSSIBLE, the rocks felt like they were digging painfully into all her limbs and under her scales, somehow. 

In her panic, Peril managed to think of ANOTHER worst scenario: getting caught eavesdropping on a conversation about herself.

She tried to erase that thought from her brain immediately.

As Peril reminded herself to breathe slowly and stay grounded, she realized that she’d been so focused on staying deathly still despite the discomfort that she’d forgotten to listen, and now the voices were now much closer and very clear.

“And she just stays there and lets you cook them?” Turtle was saying.

“I mean, yeah. She doesn’t seem to mind. I hope she would tell us if she did,” someone said back to him. Peril did not know this new dragon’s name, but to her credit, she recognized his voice as one of the RainWing students.

“I mean, I don’t see how anyone could make her do something she didn’t want to,” a fearful female voice said. “Well, I guess now that, you know, Darkstalker’s gone.”

Another RainWing that Peril remembered. She could see both of these students somewhat clearly in her mind. At least, she hoped she was thinking of the right RainWing students.

“Hm, maybe,” Turtle said. “So it isn’t scary, then?”

“It’s just kind of weird that she never talks,” the female RainWing said in a hushed voice. “Isn’t it? I mean, we all didn’t talk at first, either, so we were all just sitting in silence. Veeryy awkward.”

“Yeah,” the male RainWing piped in. “I mean, we talk to each other now, but she still stays silent the whole time. It’s kind of weird. We’re just using her as a grill. It’s hard to tell what she’s thinking.”

They probably think I’m planning another murder or something , Peril thought, rolling her eyes.

The female RainWing spoke again. “Probably that she’s really bored, and that we’re not very nice for eating all the fruit without offering her any. And I would offer it to her if she wasn’t so…”

They were quite far now, and nobody spoke for a while. Their footsteps faded and Peril never caught that last word.

Still, her jaw dropped in surprise at the rest. That was… not what she expected. At ALL. Part of her was thinking: well, of course she was bored there, because she was better than a bunch of RainWings—but wait, she wasn’t supposed to think things like that anymore. And the other part of her thought: wait, were they implying they wouldn’t mind actually talking to Peril? 

And they would actually WANT her to eat with them?

But what was the end of that sentence?

~

She stayed hidden until Turtle came back. Which she thought was far too long, but at least he actually came back. (Peril had learned she could become remarkably paranoid within a few minutes alone. Or maybe this was not new behavior.)

Turtle checked the hall comprehensively and finally gave her the green light, and thank the moons that it was easier to get out than it had been to crawl in.

Peril hardly managed to wait until they were in her cave before rounding on Turtle.

“WELL? What did she say at the end??” she demanded loudly. 

“Do you remember the last thing you heard? We talked a bit more afterwards.”

As if Peril could forget. “She said that I’m so… … and then I didn’t hear WHAT I’m so.”

“Oh,” Turtle said, looking up pensively. “She just said you’re so quiet. Which is clearly wrong,” he snickered.

Peril rolled her eyes again as he laughed at his own little joke. Quiet, though… she supposed that wasn’t so bad.