Chapter Text
“Papa!”
The excited squeal echoed in his mind, one that had been on loop inside his head since the rest of his team had returned from Edolas. The very existence of the voice had his brain spinning with questions and realizations, ones that were new to him. He couldn’t stop thinking of the little girl he’d met.
His daughter .
His daughter? He still wondered if she counted as his daughter if her father was his counterpart in an alternate realm.
There wasn’t exactly anybody he could confide in. Gray had been in a similar position, meeting his own son Greige while in Edolas, but his relationship with Juvia made it so that the meeting was less of a revelation for him. Erza hadn’t interacted with her counterpart or any potential children, so she was a dead end. Wendy was too young to fully understand the predicament, and Lucy...
Well, it was very difficult to initiate a conversation with the opener, “ Hey! Learning that the versions of us in another world have a kid together. Crazy day, huh? ”
Natsu knew he was in love with Lucy. Despite what the others might’ve thought, he wasn’t a complete idiot. He’d been in love with her longer than he’d be willing to admit, but there was an astronomical difference between knowing you love your best friend and knowing your alternate realm counterparts got married and had a daughter.
But despite the fact that her very existence had his head reeling, it made sense. Edolas had experienced 7 years that the members of Fairy Tail on Tenrou didn’t; it was only natural than in those years, their lives moved on. That included marriage and starting families.
And Natsu couldn’t deny how right it felt knowing that Nasha existed. His heart warmed at the sound of her calling Lucy “mama”, at the fact that she looked like a perfect mix of Natsu and Lucy. She had her father’s spiky pink locks, slightly longer and a shade lighter, but her face was all Lucy. Same heart-shaped face, same bright brown eyes, same wild smile.
Ultimately, though, she wasn’t his daughter. She belonged to a different Natsu and Lucy, in a different world. And that realization killed him, because he couldn’t fight the heartbreak that flooded through him at the fact that he couldn’t take Nasha back with him. That he had to leave the adorable little girl with her mother’s kind eyes behind.
But Edolas mirrored Earthland in some ways, even if their counterparts’ personalities were polar opposites. Lucy Ashley had been a member of Fairy Tail longer than his own Lucy had been. Add that to the 7 extra years they’d experienced...
Did that mean, if Natsu and Lucy did have a child together, they’d have their own Nasha? Their child would be a little girl who looked just like her, that they’d give the same name?
He wondered what their Nasha would be like. The Nasha from Edolas seemed rather timid and well-behaved, taking after her father in that regard. He wondered if his Nasha would take after him similarly, with her mother’s intelligence and his own chaotic tendencies. Natsu grinned at the idea of his little girl causing even more property damage than himself.
Imagining so vividly what his potential future daughter would be like should’ve been a scary and intimidating thought. Children were a huge commitment, he was well aware of that fact. But the idea of having a daughter with Lucy, his best friend, the girl he’d loved for years now, how could that be anything but a gift?
Meeting Nasha made Natsu realize how much he wanted that future. He wanted it so desperately that it hurt. He wanted to be able to call Lucy his wife, wanted to celebrate with her as she told him she was pregnant, wanted to wipe away Lucy’s tears as he held his beautiful baby girl for the first time. He wanted to watch Nasha, Nasha Dragneel , not Dragion, grow up. He wanted to hear her first words, watch her take her first steps, introduce her to her younger siblings.
For the first time, Natsu felt like he could see his future planned out in front of him. And while that future didn’t scare him, the magnitude of his feelings did .
He and Lucy hadn’t even kissed yet. Sure, he was confident that Lucy knew how he felt and returned those feelings, but he’d spent so long being content in what they already had that he hadn’t stopped to think about what they could have.
They had toed the already blurred line between friends and something more for so long that Natsu wasn’t sure he even knew how to take that step across the threshold. Natsu may have been oblivious in the romance department, but he knew the best way to do so surely wasn’t by telling Lucy that he’d spent the last 12 hours thinking about having a baby with her.
Mavis, he needed to go to sleep and clear his head.
Usually, the scent of vanilla and pure Lucy would’ve been enough to soothe him to sleep. But given his current dilemma, her appearance only threw his already frazzled emotions into disarray.
“Natsu?” She called gently, approaching him with a soft hand on his shoulder, rubbing down to his shoulder blades. “Are you alright?”
Natsu nodded wordlessly, not trusting his voice.
“Nightmare?” Lucy encouraged with a quiet lilt in her voice, and Natsu could see why she had come to that conclusion. Natsu had struggled with nightmares since after Tartaros, and they had only increased in severity since the end of the war with Alvarez. Most of his dreams as of late stemmed from Lucy’s “death” at Dimaria’s hands, the very thing that had sent his psyche into overdrive and had allowed E.N.D. to take over. The only time he’d slept peacefully since were nights spent in Lucy’s bed, with the powerful and steady thrum of her heartbeat keeping his fears at bay.
“No, not this time.” Natsu croaked, clearing his throat and looking away. “Just thinkin’.”
Lucy was wordless for a moment, before she crouched and sat down next to Natsu, pressing her side against him. It wasn’t a chilly night, but Natsu had long since realized that Natsu’s presence was as comforting to Lucy as hers was to him. They sat in silence for a beat, before Lucy spoke up and shattered everything he assumed about how she’d feel about his thoughts.
“You’re thinking about Nasha, aren’t you?”
Natsu jolted, while Lucy offered him a sympathetic smile. He should’ve known she’d be aware, really. Lucy was able to read him better than anyone, better than himself at times, she’d pick up on how weird he’d been acting since they returned from Edolas. Besides, Nasha was half her too.
Or, half Lucy Ashley. The whole “alternate realm counterparts” thing made it very confusing.
“I figured. I’ve been thinking about her a lot, too. Even if she isn’t mine , she still comes from a version of me. She still looks like...“ Natsu didn’t miss the deep blush that stained her face before she continued, “She still looks like a mix of both of us.”
Natsu was sure his heart was beating out of his chest. He didn’t plan on actually talking to Lucy about such a sensitive and intimate topic, but since she was already thinking about it...
What did he have to lose?
“Have you ever thought about kids before?” He hesitantly inquired, looking over at Lucy from his peripherals, ensuring that she was okay with the direction of the conversation. “Just in general, I mean.” He added hastily, hoping she didn’t catch the red on his cheeks. To his surprise, his partner’s face twisted into a wistful, almost longing smile.
“I did when I was little. My mom always played with dolls with me, before she died. Even though they were just toys, she always showed me how to take care of them. How to hold them, how to feed them, how to swaddle them. Even after she died, I kept those lessons with me.” Her smile faded, and Natsu’s heart sank. Knowing what Lucy went through at the hands of her father after her mother’s death, he knew whatever she had to say next was a much sadder memory.
“After that, I didn’t think about kids outside the context of what was expected of me as a lady with my upbringing. I was expected to enter an arranged marriage with the son of a wealthy business partner, and I’d be lucky if he wasn’t double my age. But it didn’t matter as long as I myself was able to have children.
“I was then expected to produce an heir, a son who would take over the Heartfilia Konzern in my father’s absence. He would learn business under my father, and I would be nothing more than a maid to my own son.”
Natsu’s blood boiled, and his fists clenched around the clumps of grass on either side of him. Lucy had mentioned skeevy, pervy suitors from her past before, but she’d never mentioned the fact that some of the men were nearing the age of her own father. The idea of Lucy being forced to marry a man who looked at her as nothing but someone to produce offspring for him and care for said offspring while he bathed in the benefits he received from marrying her made Natu sick to his stomach.
Lucy deserved someone who adored and cherished her, who didn’t care about her appearance or her status and simply loved her for her . Natsu suddenly understood now why Lucy always fretted about being a pure bride whenever he snuck into her bed, because some of the expectations from her childhood still lingered.
And bringing a child into the world, playing into sexist stereotypes and only seeing the value in the child if it was a boy? Children were special, something that served as an eternal reminder of the love two people had from each other.
Natsu couldn’t help but be thankful that Lucy ran away from home and had found him instead that day in Hargeon. Lucy deserved only the best, and she would’ve only had her fierce spirit broken down with more time spent in that awful mansion.
“But despite that, I always wanted a daughter. One that I could raise the same way my mother did me, I could braid her hair and teach her how to identify all of the constellations. So it’s nice to know that some version of me got to have that daughter, even if the me in this world doesn’t.”
A question played on the tip of Natsu’s tongue, one that he was almost afraid to ask. One that could change the trajectory of the conversation. But maybe it would be a good change. One that would push their relationship in the right direction, the direction they’d been going for a long time now.
“Do you want your own Nasha?”
The underlying implication was impossible to ignore, even if it wasn’t verbally said. Nasha was equal parts Natsu and Lucy: there was no Nasha without Natsu, and there was no Nasha without Lucy. She only existed as an extension of them both .
Lucy pondered for a moment, biting her lip. Natsu noticed the longing in Lucy’s eyes; he figured it was similar to the way he’d looked while thinking about Nasha earlier
“Do you?” She asked finally. Before Natsu could start to panic about her avoidance of the question, she continued, “I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to make any commitments to me just because the Edolas versions of ourselves did. I would love our own Nasha, but that’s something both of us should want.”
Natsu grinned like a lovesick fool, affections for the woman sitting next to him surging in his chest. Despite her own overwhelming desire for a daughter, the most important thing to her was if Natsu himself also wanted one. And Mavis , did Natsu want their own Nasha.
“Luce, I wouldn’t be offering this up to anybody other than you. I want our own Nasha because you’re my best friend, my partner. I meant it when I said we’d be together forever from now on.” And he had; his future was Lucy, there had never been any question about it since that fateful day in Hargeon that she’d stumbled into his life and changed it for the better.
The thought of having kids with anyone had never crossed his mind, not until they visited Edolas and Natsu had realized that having a kid was something he could want, with Lucy especially.
Lucy’s face brightened, and Natsu almost felt weak in the knees at the sight. He loved seeing Lucy smiling and happy, and knowing that he was the sole reason for it was always a bonus. Especially when the topic of conversation sparking the joy was the discussion of having a family.
“I don’t think I’m anywhere near ready to have children yet.” Lucy admitted, shuffling closer to Natsu as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. “But someday, when I am ready... I’d love to have a Nasha. Our own Nasha.”
Natsu turned his head to bury a kiss against his partner’s hair, rumbling softly to help lull her to sleep in a movement he knew comforted her. So much went unsaid, but Natsu felt like he and Lucy understood each other perfectly. He was a believer in actions speaking louder than words, and was confident that everything he did for Lucy said enough to her about how he felt.
As sleep finally claimed Natsu, curled up against his favorite person in the world, the image playing over his eyelids was of a grinning Lucy, his Lucy, holding a little pink-haired baby girl with tears in her bright hazel eyes, eyes that were reflected down on their bundle of joy.