Work Text:
Two weeks.
It’s only been two weeks since and Ennoshita still checks his phone as religiously as he checks Tanaka’s posts on most of his social media accounts. All of them loud, rowdy, unaffected. He sees jokes and banter, small casual conversations with friends, the occasional post about Tanaka’s grueling study schedule or how much he misses playing volleyball.
But nothing about Ennoshita. Nothing about missing him. About everything ending.
Exactly like Ennoshita had asked for.
While he knows Tanaka is never one to wallow openly about things that really matter - his parents splitting up, his giving up volleyball to help his mother with a part time job, their breakup - seeing the lack of anything from Tanaka tugs at something inside him. Makes him regret. Makes the loss just a little sadder, a little harder to bear.
It’s his decision, after all.
New school away from friends and family makes the decision that much easier, though he supposes he should have let Tanaka have a part in making it. But no matter; what’s done is done.
His phone beeps and when he checks the identity of the sender, his heart drops just as his stomach seems to beeline for his throat; the collision impactful. Aching.
A longing he’s tried to put out of sight, out of mind. Until now.
Received From: Ryuu
[text]: almost time for the big move
[text]: i’ll come by tmrw to get the rest of my stuff
Sent To: Ryuu
[text]: that’s fine. I have them in boxes so it’s easier for you to take home.
Received From: Ryuu
[text]: u always did try to make it easy on me
Something about the words cuts him, deep and serrated, tangled in the open wound he carries. The last text has a double meaning, he’s sure, and though Tanaka isn’t one to hold grudges or pass blame on any decisions Ennoshita has ever made, the weight of the statement hangs over him. Presses down. Makes the burden harder to carry.
He’s about to type out a reply when he slams head-first into the glass door of his apartment building. The impact startles him and he nearly drops his phone, the device now gripped tightly in his hand while he lifts the other to feel the consequence of his space cadet moment.
“What’s the big idea? I thought you were going to--” He stops mid-sentence as he turns, half expecting Tanaka to be there. Except there’s nothing now but empty air as void as the emptiness inside him.
It used to be Tanaka’s thing, opening the doors. He supposes it comes from having a good mother and sister whose influence was passed down to him, manners something of importance even with his temperamental attitude. Ennoshita chuckles to himself, pensive and nostalgic, when he realizes that he’ll have to be more careful now without someone to open each and every door for the rest of his life.
Somehow the thought leaves him cold, a chill in a winter he’s made for himself. He’s always felt like he’s held Tanaka back, kept him grounded when he should have been soaring. But not now. Not anymore.
Sent To: Ryuu
[text]: you used to make it easy for me too.
[text]: I ran into a door just now.
[text]: I guess that’s what I get now that I don’t have a door opener anymore huh? lol
Received From: Ryuu
[text]: u still could u kno
The text lances through him and he grips the phone tighter as he processes. He should say no. He should keep the decision he made, to keep them from falling apart when the distance does its job and Tanaka forgets about him a thousand miles away. His phone beeps again.
Received From: Ryuu
[text]: sorry didnt mean to make things weird or hard or whatever
[text]: its just
[text]: i miss u ykno?
[text]: am i allowed to say that?
[text]: havent really said it to anyone since u know... yeah
[text]: anyway i’m ramblin but yeah i’ll come by tmrw np
Ennoshita reads the texts over and over, worrying his bottom lip as his fingers hover over the text keyboard on the phone screen.
Sent To: Ryuu
[text]: how about now? can you come now?
Received From: Ryuu
[text]: chika?
He stares at the name, the one Tanaka has used since they started dating and everything he’s suppressed in the last few weeks burst, a water main gushing things he never should have tried to keep in. His chest tightens and though he might regret the next text, he knows he’ll regret not sending it even more.
Sent To: Ryuu
[text]: I lied.
[text]: I miss you, too.