Archive of Our Own

just the way you are

—because Changbin remembers everything from his time with Bang Chan—

When Changbin first saw Bang Chan, they were trainees. Teenagers trying to follow their dreams under the JYP Entertainment agency. 

“Changbin, that’s the trainee I was talking about.” A boy with glasses said to him as they ate lunch in the cafeteria. 

Changbin looked towards the cafeteria line and saw a tall boy with dark brown hair. His back was to him, so he couldn’t see his face. 

He looked older by the way he stood with some kind of authority. 

“I’ve heard he's been a trainee for seven years.” Changbin looked back at the boy, completely surprised. 

“Seven years?” 

“Yeah.” 

Changbin looked back at the boy and saw him leaving the cafeteria with his food in a to-go bag. 

Seven years is a long time. 

When Changbin first met Bang Chan, he was introducing himself as the oldest trainee so far in their generation. There was him, Han Jisung (who was younger than them) and himself. They got along pretty fast to be strangers who just met. 

Although, they were strangers who shared the same passions. 

Changbin sat next to Han Jisung (another one of the boys who they were meeting). He didn’t know him that well but they got along. 

The door opened, and they both stood to greet the next guest, who was the one who invited them here in the first place. 

In walked the boy Changbin had seen in the cafeteria weeks ago. 

“Good morning, hyung.” Jisung said as he bowed. Changbin followed without saying a word. He couldn’t, even if he tried. The boy’s face got him mesmerized from the moment they locked eyes. 

“I know it’s very early, so I’ll try to make this short.” He said as he placed his drink on the counter, along with his bag. “Thank you for coming.” 

Changbin and Han both nodded. 

“I’m Christopher Bang, but people usually call me Bang Chan, or just Chan.” 

Changbin could tell by the way the boy’s voice sounded that he was tired. From what? He couldn’t tell, but he could bet those seven years had something to do with it. 

“Han Jisung.” The boy next to Changbin introduced himself. “I’m probably the youngest out of all three of us.” Changbin smiled, and Chan chuckled. 

And Changbin felt something inside him move at the sound. 

“Thank you for having me.” He bowed. 

“Seo Changbin.” He said, taking a step forward. “Thank you for having me.” He bowed too, just like Jisung. 

“Thank you both for accepting my invitation.” Chan walked towards them. “I’ve asked both of you here today because I want to create a rap unit.” 

“A rap unit?” Jisung asked. 

“Yeah.” Chan took out his laptop and opened it. “I’ve seen you guys work and I think with the three of us together we can make good music together.” 

“We all rap though.” Changbin said, thinking of how the dynamics of a group usually worked. 

“And that shouldn’t be a problem.” 

Changbin and Chan looked at each other and something inside the youngest turned. Maybe his stomach? Or his heart? Or his insides? Who knew, but what he did know was that he had never felt that way before. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Chan smiled. 

“Ok, here are my thoughts.” 

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking and planning what soon came to be known as their rap sub-unit;3RACHA. 

When Changbin first had his first “awkward” interaction with Bang Chan, they were recording at his studio a song for 3RACHA. Han slept soundly on the couch behind them, while he and Bang Chan sat on the two desk chairs. 

“So, Binnie.” 

Changbin spit his water everywhere, he tried to take a step back for the water to fall on the ground instead of Chan’s computer and himself, but that only seemed to work only half way. 

“I’m sorry!” 15-year-old Changbin stood and tried wiping off the water off of 17-year-old Bang Chan’s face. 

Bang Chan just sat there, with a small smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Changbin repeated, nervous and scared, knowing how serious Chan was when it came to work. “I’m so, so, so, sorry-“ 

“Changbin.” Bang Chan held Changbin’s hand on his and looked him in the eyes. “It’s okay, Binnie.” 

Chan had smiled at him, showing his dimples, and Changbin’s heart had skipped a beat. 

“It’s just water.” He reassured the younger, wiping off his neck where some water droplets were falling.

Changbin saw the action and felt his face grow hot. 

“O-Okay.” 

They stay in silence, only having Jisung’s low and cute snores as background noise. 

“I think this should be good for today.” Bang Chan closed his laptop. “Let’s head to the dorms.” 

Changbin only nodded, not able to find his voice inside of himself. 

“I’ll get our things ready, wake up Hannie, okay?” 

Changbin nodded again, going to the sofa. 

“Hannie, time to wake up.” 

After that, Changbin began feeling incredibly jittery every time he was with Bang Chan. 

And it just grew from there. 

The first time they had their first moment (where Changbin almost lost his ability to breath), 3RACHA was meeting who hopefully would be their future team members. 

They sat quietly in the dance room, waiting for their boss to arrive with the new members. 

“Binnie, do you want something from the vending machine?” 

“Sure.” 

Han nodded and left the dance room. 

“Changbin, come here for a second.” Bang Chan called from where he stood in front of the computer. 

Changbin stood and walked up to him. 

“Yes, hyung?” 

Chan moved so Changbin could stand in front of the computer and then placed himself behind him. 

Changbin was short and slender, and everyone knew that. So it wasn’t really a surprise to see 17-year-old Christopher Bang hover over him with his skinny muscular arms trapping him against the counter, his chest touching Changbin’s back, and head resting right over his shoulder. 

“See this part right here?” 

Changbin nodded, not really wanting to talk in case his voice cracked and gave away how nervous he was. 

“I think it should be Han’s.” 

Changbin read the lyrics, it was for 'Runner’s High', and he saw what Chan was trying to tell him. 

Han’s verse fitted more at the beginning, instead of his. 

“What do you think?” 

Chan looked over to Changbin, who didn’t even dare look back at him. Instead, he took a deep breath and answered. 

“I agree.” He was able to say without stuttering. 

“We can tell Han when he comes back.” 

Changbin nodded and was ready to walk away as far as possible and stay 10 feet away from Bang Chan for the rest of the afternoon. 

But the universe didn’t seem to think like him. 

Chan began typing and fixing the lyrics, still leaving Changbin trapped between his arms. 

Changbin gulped and gripped the edge of the counter hard. It didn’t make it easier that Chan had separated his legs to make space for him between his legs. 

“You know, I think 'Next 2 U' would be a good one to release too.” Changbin saw Bang open the file. “It’s one of my favorites.” 

“It’s fine by me, but I think Han is going to want 'Tik Tok' to be there too.” 

“I figured.” Changbin took another deep breath, relaxing when he felt Chan take a step back. 

He was ready to run away, but felt Chan’s chin come to rest on his shoulder. 

“Binnie.” He said, almost like a whisper in his ear. “Your hyung will invite you to eat anything you want, if only you could do hyung a favor?” 

“What is it, Channie hyung?” His heart wouldn’t stop beating fast, he hoped Chan couldn’t tell. 

“Help with my homework.” 

“Hyung, you don’t go to school anymore.” 

“But work is also homework when you have to take it home.” Chan pouted, and Bin’s heart dropped to his feet. He looked so cute and adorable that you wouldn’t think he was a 17-year-old teenager boy. “And we always finish work fast when we do it together.” 

Changbin couldn’t help when his breathing hitched and got stuck on his throat, not when Channie looked at him with a pout, eyes closed and dimples on display; as if he was a small kid who really wanted his mom to buy him a toy. 

How could he say no? 

He never had a chance. 

“That’s fine, hyung.” Changbin said, turning Chan’s pout into a smile. “But I get to eat whatever I want.” 

“I promise.” 

Changbin nodded at his words and got ready to walk away, for real this time. 

That was until he felt Chan’s arms around his waist and his face buried on his neck. 

“Thank you!” Chan said, his breath hitting Bin on the neck. Making his entire body feel goosebumps. 

“Mhm, y-you welcome.” 

Changbin was happy the door opened at that moment because if not he was going to have a whole meltdown. 

When they had their first “butterflies in stomach” moment, Changbin had just finished singing 'Matryoshka' with Han. 

The entire group ran up to them, Chan being the first to reach Changbin, to congratulate them. 

Chan wrapped his arms around Changbin's waist and pulled him close. He raised him up from the ground and squeezed him tight. 

“You were awesome!” He said, not able to contain himself. 

Changbin held onto Chan’s shoulders so as to not have his entire weight on him. 

Chan lowered him slowly and cradled his face between his arms. 

“I’m so proud of you.” 

And it was the way Chan’s eyes dilated and sparkled when he said it that made Changbin’s stomach turn in circles. 

Like as if he was on a rollercoaster and his stomach just turned a thousand times. 

Like as if he had butterflies flying inside his stomach. 

“Thank you, hyung.” 

Chan hugged him again and then went to Han to repeat the same process again. (Except he didn’t raise him up in the air). 

Changbin stood there, dumbfounded and shocked at how Chan’s eyes had just looked at him. 

They were so pretty, even when they were just black. They made him think of a clear night sky where you can see all the stars. 

It made him feel somewhat safe too; a place he can run to in case of ever needing someone. 

It made him feel complete. 

And he kept thinking about it, even after Felix and Hyunjin had shaken him out of excitement. Even after Jeongin hugged him. Even after Minho told him some reassurance words in his ear. Even after Han hugged him and told him something about the performance. 

Even after they went back to sit down, Changbin was still with those black eyes who looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. 

When they held hands, there were two occasions where it happened. 

And on each occasion, one of them sought out the other. 

The first time they held hands was when they had their first elimination; Lee Minho. 

“So, I’ve come to a decision.” JYP said and all the members became nervous. “And the one that will be eliminated tonight is going to be…” 

Changbin looked at Chan, his entire body growing restless. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking due to the nerves and anxiety; he almost felt like throwing up. 

“Lee Minho.” 

The entire world stopped; and Changbin’s surroundings began echoing. 

The first thing he did was look at Chan and look into his eyes. Those eyes looked back at him and gave him the reassurance he needed to breathe again. 

Only for it to be taken away by a crying Jisung who tried covering his face with his black cap. 

Changbin hugged him and whispered in his ear. 

“Everything‘s going to be fine.” Jisung sniffle. “Everything’s going to be fine.” 

Changbin turned, only to see Chan hug Minho tightly. From his point of view he had a clear view of Minho’s face. 

And Minho was crying. For the first time in the entire time he had known him so far, Changbin finally saw Minho crying. 

Minho nodded to some words Chan whispered to his ear, and then Changbin saw him walking towards them. 

Jisung, who stood behind Changbin, tried to clear his throat, dry his face and act tough (in Changbin’s opinion). 

“Hannie.” Minho called and Changbin took that as his cue to leave them. 

Changbin saw Bang Chan go towards the end of the room, away from everyone else and dropped himself on the floor. 

Changbin followed, taking small breaths in and out to calm himself down first. If he was going to comfort Chan, he needed to be calm first. 

He reached Chan and sat next to him, without saying a word. And he stayed there for a few minutes, quiet. And he didn’t know exactly what to do or say, so he just followed what his heart told him to do. 

And that thing was laying his hand next to Chan’s with his palm facing up. It was a clear and obvious invitation, but it was okay if Chan didn’t want to. 

Changbin waited, his gaze over to where Seungmin cried on Jeongin’s arms, holding onto Minho like his life depended on it. 

And by the looks of it, it did. 

And it hurt Changbin to see his dongsaengs like that; all broken and in tears. 

But it hurt him even more seeing the one person who’s been through enough not even share one tear. 

He knew about Chan’s seven years in the agency. He knew what he had gone through, all the eliminations he had to go through. All the failed attempts to make a team that he had to see; saying goodbye to every single person he thought would one day become his team. 

Changbin knew, because Chan trusted him enough (and Jisung) to tell them everything about himself. 

Seeing the story repeat itself… well, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Chan felt. 

And while Changbin saw Jeongin and Hyunjin trying to separate Jisung and Seungmin from Minho, he felt a warm hand intertwined with his. 

He looked towards Chan and saw him with his gaze blank, staring off to space, tears falling down his cheeks. 

Changbin was going to speak but found that he really didn’t have anything to say. He was hurt too, in pain, and there was nothing he could say (right now) that would make everything better. 

So instead, he squeezed Chan’s hand in his tightly, to let him know he was here for him. 

And that he was never letting go. 

The second time they held hands was on their second elimination; Lee Yongbok. 

“You all did great, I’m proud.” JYP stood. “That’s why this is a very hard decision for me.” 

Changbin felt his heart beat fast against his chest, anxiety growing inside of him. 

“The one that will be eliminated in this round is…” Changbin closed his eyes, reaching for Jisung’s and Felix’s hands. “Lee Yongbok.” 

Changbin looked up, his heart beating faster than before, and met blue eyes looking at him. 

“No…” Changbin whispered, low. 

Felix’s eyes watered and Changbin could see him trying to hold in his tears. 

“Thank you so much for everything, Yongbok.” JYP walked up to them and Felix had to let go of Changbin to address the older. 

Changbin took a step back, letting go of Jisung too. And he kept taking steps back until his back touched the wall. Once it did, he lost all strength in his legs and dropped to the floor. 

He knelt, covered his face with his hands, and began sobbing. Not crying, he sobbed. 

And he tried to be as quiet as possible but it just hurt too much. 

It hurt, it burned, it stung. 

Changbin couldn’t do this; it was too much. He couldn’t breath, he couldn’t feel his body; he had gone completely numb. 

“Hyung.” A pair of arms wrapped around him and Changbin allowed himself to be held. 

“I’m sorry.” He sobbed as he wrapped his arms around Felix’s waist. “Hyung is sorry, Yongbok.” Changbin gripped tightly, the fear of Yongbok disappearing from his arms making his anxiety (and sobs) grow. “Hyung is really sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” Yongbok was also crying, hugging Changbin tightly. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything, hyung.” 

Changbin sobbed, gripping Felix tightly. 

“I’m so, so, sorry.” He said, over and over again. 

And Felix held him until it was time for him to go. 

And one person stood, far away, watching them. His gaze and expression looked dry and cold. 

And when everyone left, and Changbin was still on the same floor, someone walked up to him. 

He sat next to him, with his back against the wall (just like Changbin) and placed his hand next to his on the floor. His palm was facing up while his gaze looked up to the roof.

It didn’t take long for Changbin to take the offer. Because… how could he say no? He couldn’t. He could never (and would never) say no to Bang Chan. 

Changbin intertwined his hand with Chan’s, their fingers interlocking. 

Changbin looked up too, only meeting the dark roof of the room, when he received a squeeze in his hand that made his eyes get watered all over again. 

I’m here too; was what Chan was trying to tell him. And I’m never letting go either. 

And if Changbin little sobs were any indication, it was clear that he understood. 

When they accidentally kissed for the first time, they were gathered with JYP. 

“So, I’ve made a decision.” JYP walked to the door and there was only one thought that crossed Changbin’s mind; someone else is leaving. 

“Please,” JYP opened the door. “Welcome back, Minho and Felix.” 

Changbin’s heart stopped beating for a second, his hands shaking where they rested inside his hoddie’s front pocket. 

Minho’s and Yongbok’s figures walked in through the door. 

“I think you guys would make a great team.” JYP said, and smiled at them. “Congratulations, you guys will debut as first planned.” 

The guys shouted in victory; Hyunjin and Jisung didn’t wait long to hug Yongbok and Minho. The others were in a corner hugging each other. And that left Changbin and Bang Chan in the middle. 

“We made it.” Bang Chan was the first to turn towards Changbin. 

JYP left the room. 

“W-We did.” Changbin couldn’t believe it, and even saying it still sounded unreal. 

Tears built up in his eyes and when he realized that they actually had made it, he began jumping and getting excited. 

“We made it!” Changbin took a big impulse and jumped towards Bang Chan’s arms. 

Bang Chan caught him, and in doing so, their faces got inches close from each other. 

“We mad…-“ Changbin looked up, and realized he wasn’t as far as he thought he was from Bang Chan. 

Their noses touched, Chan’s bangs were tickling Bin’s forehead, their lips were inches away from each other. 

And Changbin could see the exact moment that Bang Chan's eyes looked down, then up, and then how his pupils grew. 

Changbin’s heart was beating miles per hour, almost leaving him out of breath. 

“Binnie…” Chan whispered, the air hitting Changbin on the lips like a cold breeze (even though it was hot, so so hot). 

“C-“ 

“We made it guys!” Jisung came from behind Changbin and joined the “hug”. He pushed Changbin forward, making his forehead and his lips clash with Chan’s. 

Changbin had time to turn his head around to see it was Jisung, making the kiss a sloppy kiss to the corner of his lips instead of his actual lips. 

And Changbin felt when Chan’s forehead hit his own and when his lips touched his skin. 

And his face grew hot.

“J-Jisung.” He stuttered, suddenly feeling warm inside. 

And if they didn’t talk about it afterwards, well that wasn’t the team’s business. 

2019 was a hard year for everyone. 

But October 2019 hit them the hardest. 

Changbin still remembered when he had to comfort a sobbing Bang Chan for the first (and last) time. 

Four people ran at top speed towards their dorm. 

They opened the door and met their three hyungs sitting on the couch. 

“Is it..” 

“It’s done.” Minho said. “There was nothing we could do.” 

“Where’s Jeongin?” Seungmin asked, realizing he wasn’t there. 

“In his room.” Changbin answered. 

Seungmin walked past Felix and Jisung and went towards the room he shared with Jeongin. 

“So, that’s it?” Hyunjin asked. 

No one said anything, and unconsciously, all of their eyes fell on one and only one person. 

He held a piece of paper. And it was a normal piece of paper, but it carried the biggest and most heartbreaking news. 

Chan tried to hide his sniffle and tears by coughing and cleaning his eyes before tears fell. 

“Y-Yes.” He said, standing up. “That’s it.” 

Bang Chan stood and left for his and Changbin’s room. 

Everything was not okay. 

That night, while Changbin laid on his bed awake, he felt a slight pressure next to him. 

He turned his head to the side, only to see a mane of dark brown hair over his chest. Hands gripped his shirt tightly as the body next to him began to shake. 

“Binnie…” Chan whispered, on the verge of sobbing. “I couldn’t keep the promise I made.” 

Changbin took a deep breath, not wanting to cry. Failing completely. 

“I failed as leader.” Chan sniffled again. And Changbin didn’t care if it stained his shirt. “I failed as a friend.” The grip on his shirt became tighter. “I failed as a brother.” 

Bang Chan began sobbing, and Changbin wrapped his arms around his body and brought him closer. 

They laid on their sides while Changbin held Chan against his chest. 

He wanted to say so many things; so many unsaid things. And he probably would never have the chance to do so but… right now? He was angry. 

Angry because, why? Why would someone do something like this… and Changbin didn’t need (or want) any explanations but… 

Chan sobbed again, coughing and slobbering all over Changbin’s shirt. 

And Changbin wasn’t known for getting angry fast, or even holding a grudge against someone.

But right now? 

He had both. 

That night the both slept on the same bed; which later on became a habit. 

2020, AAA Awards; an important moment for Changbin. 

November 11, 2020; they won Best Music Video Award. 

And they kissed. 

“And the winners for Best Music Video Award….” The host opened the envelope. “Stray Kids!” 

The guys looked at each other in shock and surprise but stood. 

Hyunjin hugged Felix tightly, Seungmin and Jeongin held hands under the table where no one could see them before standing up (no one knew about their relationship), and Minho hugged Jisung who cried out of excitement. 

That left Changbin and Bang Chan who were still processing that they had just won another award. (Didn’t matter how many times they won, it was still hard to process). 

Changbin looked at Bang Chan and saw that he was already looking at him first. 

Chan smiled and stood, stretching his hand towards Changbin. He took it and received a tight squeeze. 

I’m here. 

And I’m never letting go. 

Changbin felt his heart skip a beat at that; it had become an unspoken thing where they would squeeze each other’s hands in hard times or times where they just needed to be there for each other but didn’t want to say it out loud. 

This being one of those times. 

They went up on stage, said their speech, and went backstage to take pictures and go to their assigned room. 

“I still can’t believe it.” Han said, while he opened the door of the room. 

“I know.” Felix followed right after him. 

They entered the room and began snacking before having to return back to the awards. 

Changbin was looking for his in-ear monitor inside his bag when he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

“I’m almost-“ Something shut Changbin up, or rather someone. 

And by the time he realized he was being kissed, the person had already backed away.

“Wait.” Changbin grasped his hand and pulled him. He met black eyes looking down at him with blushed cheeks. 

He looked into those eyes who since day one have captured him endlessly. He looked down at those lips which he had dreamed of tasting since the accident with Jisung before debuting. 

“I-I-“ Bang Chan was trying to apologize and Changbin saw it in his face. 

Before he could though, Changbin pulled him closer and clashed their lips together. In a kiss. 

And Changbin felt butterflies in his stomach, turning his insides upside down, side to side, and front to back. He felt lightheaded, he felt numb, but most of all, he felt complete. 

Something about having Chan’s touch made him feel complete; maybe the way their hands fit when they held hands, maybe the way their bodies were always in sync, the way they fit together perfectly. Or maybe they way their lips seemed to know each other far longer than they did. 

Chan’s hands came to rest on Changbin hip, pulling him closer, and Bin was glad the others were already gone. 

The kiss grew, becoming longer. Changbin held onto Chan’s hand still while his other hand had come to rest on his neck. 

But with a longer kiss, came the necessity to breathe. 

Bang Chan took the step back first, placing his forehead over Bin’s and taking deep breaths in. 

“Chris.” 

He never called him by his legal name, but he felt like in this situation he wanted to. That he needed to. 

“I think I-“

Before he could say anything, Bang Chan walked away, leaving a breathless, cheeks red and lips swollen Changbin in the room.

Changbin touched his lips and felt his skin burn. He had never felt the way he did when he was being kissed by Chan, and there wasn’t really anything he could compare it with; nor that he wanted to have one either. 

“Changbin, it’s almost time.” The manager said and Changbin remembered why he had even returned back to the room. He turned around to look for his in-ear monitor again. 

And as he did so, Changbin realized something. Something he had been denying himself for a while. 

He was in love with Bang Chan. 

And he has been since he saw him in that cafeteria, years ago. 

When they first had their first argument, it was while working on their new album; NOEASY. 

And there were many things involved, which some led to their fight happening. 

And Changbin didn’t really like talking about their fights. However, this one? Was so important to not talk about. 

It was the fight that started everything; their connection, their feelings and their relationship. 

Changbin was composing ‘Sorry, I love you’ while Han did the guide for ‘Thunderous’ with Chan. The rest of the team were back in the house. Except for one. 

“Chan, you want to take a break?” 

The question made Changbin look up from his notes and at Chan who was inside the recording room. 

“I’m f-fine.” 

He clearly wasn’t and Changbin looked at Han frowned. 

“Hannie.” Changbin raised Han’s hand from the red button so Chan didn’t hear them. “Can you get us something to drink? Chan will appreciate it.” 

Jisung nodded and left the room. 

Changbin stood and walked inside the recording too. 

“Chan.” 

“I’m f-fine.” Chan had his back towards Changbin. “I just need a minute.” 

“Chan, no.” Changbin walked closer. “Don’t do that.” He heard Chan sniffle. “You're not fine and that’s okay.” 

“No, Changbin.” Chan turned around and Bin saw his eyes red. “You don’t understand, I-I…” 

“You didn’t do anything.” 

“You don’t get it.” 

“Try me, I could.” 

There was silence. 

“Chan-“ 

“Changbin, you will never understand what it feels not to be able to protect all of you.” 

“It’s not your job to protect us.” 

“Yes, it is.” 

“No, it isn’t.” Changbin didn’t realize he was raising his voice. “We can protect ourselves.” 

Chan walked towards the other corner of the room. 

“Chan, yes, you always want to protect us, I understand but…” Bin walked closer to him. “There going to be times where you won’t be able to, and you’ll-“ 

“I don’t want there to be!” Chan shouted. “I need to have you all safe, it’s my…” Chan’s eyes filled with tears. “It’s my j-job.” 

“Chan… no.” 

“I couldn’t protect all of you back then, which is why I have to now. And even now… I still failed to-“ 

“Chan, don’t.” Changbin cut him off. “This is a team, we have to protect each other. That’s what a team does.” 

Chan looked into Changbin’s eyes. 

“Do you even know what's been happening?” 

“Yes.” 

Even so, Chan proceeded to tell him. 

“Hyunjin is gone, Changbin.” Chan said. “Seungmin is being hated for something that’s nothing but beautiful. Jeongin barely talks anymore, Felix barely even leaves his room.” 

“I-“ 

“Minho and Jisung are not talking to each other after their fight.” 

“Chan-“ 

“And you and me?” Chan sniffled, cleaning his tears. “What are we even doing Changbin?” 

“Chan, I-“ 

“After that kiss… and the ones after that…” 

Changbin knew what he was talking about; it’s been a year since they kissed at the AAA Awards. And they’ve been a few other times where they’ve kissed and maybe even some touches under the shirt while kissing, but that was all. 

And they were in a stalemate, like Hyunjin and Minho had called it. (Because of course Hyunjin and Minho knew). 

They were in a push and tug situation where while Changbin was willing to give Chan the fucking world, Chan seemed to only want what he wanted. And then leave. 

While Changbin was ready to take the next step in their relationship, Chan only wanted whatever they had now; kisses and touches. And nothing more. 

And since Changbin was a coward, and didn’t want to lose the one thing that was going right in his life, he didn’t dare speak up. 

And since Bang Chan didn’t know what he really wanted, he didn’t even know what he felt, he didn’t know where to start speaking. 

So, that left both nowhere. No steps forwards, just like no steps backwards. 

“What even are we?” Chan asked, a new flow of tears coming back. “I-I don’t want to l-loose you, Binnie.” 

“You won’t.” 

“How can you be so sure?” Chan looked up, locking eyes with Changbin. “I already feel like I’m losing everyone else, what makes you think I won’t lose you too?” 

Changbin took a step closer and placed his hand on Chan’s chin. He leaned in and left a soft kiss over his lips. 

“I won’t let them do anything to us.” Changbin said, hugging Chan. “Or our family.” Chan opened his eyes, understanding the depth of Bin’s words. “And that’s a promise.” 

“Binnie…” Chan began crying again, this time holding onto Changbin's shirt. “T-thank you.” 

“Always.” 

And they forgot where they were, because they didn’t even realize when Jisung came back with the drinks. 

Han stood outside the recording room, tears in his eyes, having heard the entire conversation. 

When they told the team, it wasn’t planned. They did have a plan and it was supposed to happen over a small get together where they would cook some dinner, watch some movies and Changbin and Chan would just abruptly say they were dating. 

However, that wasn’t how it went. 

At all. 

Changbin and Bang Chan got out of the car first. They were in a hurry to get some steam off their bodies. 

Turns out, Chan really liked Changbin’s dancing part in ‘Maniac’ . Like, really, really liked it. As in, he was aroused every time he saw him do that hip movement on stage. 

So, now, Chan needed to get off some steam before he felt his body explode. 

They reached their room before the team even made it inside the house and Chan closed the door behind them. Changbin was pushed against the door and Chan didn’t wait long to kiss him. 

Right off the start, they began fighting for dominance. Chan pushed Bin against the door, grinding into him with need. He returned the action by groaning into Chan’s mouth and biting him in the lip. 

“B-Bathroom, n-now.” Changbin said, between kisses. 

Chan began taking steps back, pulling Changbin by his jacket. Their lips met again, and Chan began undressing Changbin as they walked towards the bathroom. 

Halfway there, they stumbled with Chan’s desk. Changbin took the opportunity to press Chan against the desk and grind against him. 

“Fuck, Changbin.” Chan gasped, dropping his head backwards, giving Changbin the chance to attack his neck. “Come on, baby.” 

Changbin felt his dick throbbed at the way Chan called him “baby”. 

Changbin looked up at Chan and saw his eyes full with lust. His pupils were dilated and his lips were swollen. 

They haven’t talked about sex yet, but Changbin always thought Bang Chan would be the top one by the way he could command him to do anything and he would go and do it. By the way he would look at him with authority and dominance, making Changbin’s knees shake every time. And by the way he would make him feel so little compared to him, and Changbin (while also liking the feeling) did return the favor by pleasing him however he wanted. 

However, moments like this, where Chan looked at him with swollen lips, dilated pupils and with so much desire to be railed until he couldn’t remember his own name; made Changbin think he could be the top. 

Maybe they could switch. 

Changbin wasn’t going to be picky, he would like either, but right now? He would railed Chan like there’s no tomorrow. Until the only thing Chan could remember was him and only him. 

“Chang-“ Changbin cut him off with a kiss. A very hot kiss; tongue fighting tongue, asking to be dominated. 

A moan escaped Chan’s mouth when Changbin gripped tightly on his hips and grind against him. 

“Hey, guys-“ 

Chan got startled, lifting his legs as a defense mechanism, hitting Changbin right between his legs. 

Changbin shouted in pain, accidentally biting Chan in the lips. Then he lowered his head to close his eyes as Chan went to help him at the same time, making their foreheads meet in the middle; in a big clash. 

“Sorry!” Chan said, placing his hand over Changbin’s forehead. 

“Oh my gosh.” 

Jeongin’s voice rang in their ears, making their bodies sweat (more than what they already were). 

They looked towards the door and saw it open, with a very traumatized Jeongin holding the door handle. 

“Shit.” 

“You didn’t lock the door?!” Changbin shouted to Chan. “You always lock the door!” 

“Well, I was a little desperate.” 

“So!” Changbin’s face was red like a tomato, all the way to his ears. 

“I’m sorry!” Chan said. “What can I say? I couldn’t wait any longer, not when you dance the way you did today.” 

“I always dance like that.” Changbin said. “It’s the choreography.” 

“And I’ll forever be thankful to Lee Know and Hyunjin for making it so hot.” 

“Oh my fucking god.” 

Their heads snap to the door, forgetting (again) that Jeongin was still there. 

“Shit.” Changbin slapped his forehead and Chan covered his face with his hands. 

Later, after everyone cleaned up, they met in the living room. 

Changbin and Chan stood in front of the big couch where Minho, Hyunjin, Felix and Jisung sat. Seungmin sat in the singular couch with Jeongin on his lap, face buried in his neck, completely embarrassed. (And traumatized)

No one wanted to break the silence and with every passing minute, Chan’s face grew even hotter. 

“So-“ 

“No, give us a second.” Jisung interrupted. “Just one single second.” 

Changbin and Chan nodded, staying quiet. 

Another long minute passed before everyone erupted in screams.    

Changbin and Chan just stood there receiving all the questions and shouts in disbelief. 

“Guys, guys.” Changbin tried to calm them down but they still were not hearing him. 

“Guys!” Chan shouted and everyone went quiet. “Please, one at a time.” 

“Since when?” 

“Why didn’t you guys tell us?” 

“How long has this been going on?” 

“Most importantly, do the staff know?!” 

“And why!?” Jeongin resurfaced from his hidden place. “Didn’t you lock the door?!”  

Everyone went quiet and placed their eyes over the couple. 

Changbin and Chan looked at each other, then back at the others. 

“Um, well, this wasn’t the way we wanted to tell you guys.” 

“We wanted to prepare something nice and just say it.” Changbin said.

“However, we will answer any questions you guys have.” Chan looked at Han. “For your question, we don’t really know when it started but…” Chan looked at his boyfriend and smiled. “We’ve been together since a year ago, when we were working on NOEASY.” 

Han’s mouth opened and closed, like fish out of water. 

“What?” 

“I…” Han became nervous. “I walked in on you guys when you guys argued in the recording room.” Binnie looked at Han, confused. “The fight was about how you wanted to protect us, from everything.” 

“Ah, yes.” Chan swallowed, suddenly growing nervous. 

“That’s when our relationship started.” Han nodded. “But, this….” Changbin intertwined his hand with Chan’s. “Has probably been going on since before debuting.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, ever since we met.” Chan looked at Binnie. “I think?” Changbin nodded. 

“We didn’t tell you guys because we weren’t ready.” Changbin said, looking at Felix. “We didn’t even know what or how to do this and we wanted to figure that out before telling all of you.” 

“A year together, about to be two.” Chan said, answering Seungmin’s question. “But about the same that we’ve known each other is the same time I guessed you can say we’ve had feelings for each other.” 

“The staff doesn’t know.” Changbin said. “Just like Seungmin and Jeongin, we want to keep it a secret as much as we can until it is no longer inevitable.” 

“And as for the lock on the door…” Chan and Changbin looked at Jeongin. “That was my fault.” 

“Both of us.” Changbin added. “Usually one of us makes sure to put the lock, but I guess…” He looked at Chan. Chris’s face became red. 

“Yeah, and that’s our cue to leave.” Hyunjin stood, along with everyone else. “That's too much TMI for today, thank you.” 

“Let’s go, Innie.” Seungmin patted Jeongin on his thigh so he could stand. 

Jeongin wasn’t going to be able to look them in the eye for a while. 

“He’ll get over it.” Seungmin said to the couple. “He just needs time.” 

Changbin and Chan were left alone in the living room. 

“Well, that takes care of that.” Chan said, wrapping his arms around Changbin’s neck. 

“I guess it does.” They kiss, slowly and steady, just a gentle brush of lips. 

“What if…” Chan interlocked his fingers on Bin’s hair. “We finished what we had started earlier?” 

“I think that’s a great idea.” 

Chan grinned and took Bin’s hand before heading back to the room. 

And this time, they made sure to lock the door.

A few months later, Chan and Changbin decided to take the next step in their relationship. 

And, it was after their last concert of the Maniac Tour, back at the hotel, while everyone else went out so they could have some fun before returning back to Korea (which was a coverup story, Chan had previously talked to Hyunjin, Minho and Seungmin about wanting the night alone with Changbin), they stay behind. 

There was a knock on the door and Changbin went to open it. Outside stood Chan, with a plastic bag in his hand and a backpack over his shoulder. 

“Hey.” Chan smiled and Changbin let him in. 

“I got us snacks and drinks for the night.” Changbin nodded, taking the bag from Chan. “And I brought extra clothes for me.” 

Since keeping their relationship secret was something they wanted to do for a little while, sleeping in different rooms so they couldn’t be surprised by the staff by accident was one of the things they sadly had to do. 

So, in this hotel, Chan shared a room with Han. While Changbin shared a room with Hyunjin. 

“Were you showering?” Changbin looked down at himself, having only his short pants on.

“Yeah.” 

“That’ll make the work easier.” Changbin’s cheeks blushed and Chan became concerned. “That is… if you still…” 

Changbin closed the distance between them and pulled Bang into a kiss. The older reciprocate the kiss and grip Changbin’s hips in response. 

“I do.” Changbin said, already short in breath. “I really do.” 

“You sure?” Changbin nodded. “Remember what we decided yesterday.” 

“Yes, red for stop, yellow if I’m insecure, and green for go.” Chan nodded, cradling Changbin’s face in between his hands. “And two taps if we can’t speak.” 

“You know I love you, right?” Changbin nozzled his nose against Chan’s. 

“I love you too.” 

They kissed again, slower. Chan set up the pace while he slowly began walking towards the bed. Making Changbin take steps back until he reached the bed. 

Chan reached for Changbin’s waistband and tugged on it. 

“Baby, I promise to take care of you, okay?” 

Changbin was too dazed to answer, already into their play, and just nodded. 

“That’s my good boy.” 

“Chris.” Changbin pulled Chan’s hand away from his pants and Chan thought he had done something wrong. 

“Am I-“ 

“No, no.” Changbin was quick to say as he pulled Chan to sit in his lap. “I just need to know.” 

Chan looked at him confused. 

What more could he need to ask? There was already consent and if Chan’s boner wasn’t a hint that he really wanted this, then he didn’t know what would be. 

“Are you going to want to top?” Chan’s cheeks flushed at the question but couldn’t hide how his cock twitched inside his pants. “I guess that’s a yes.” 

“U-Unless you want to.” 

“No, baby.” Changbin gripped Chan’s thighs. “I know how important this is for you, for us, and we talked about it before.” Chan nodded. “Once you get comfortable, we can switch anytime you want.” 

“You're so perfect, you know that, right?” 

“No more than you.” 

Chan smiled and kissed his boyfriend again. He pressed against Changbin’s dick, making the boy groan into his mouth. Bin’s hands went to Chan’s ass and gripped; hard. 

“Fuck.” Chan moaned, feeling the friction of both their cocks. “Changbin, if you don’t get me out of this pants soon, I swear…” 

“I thought you wanted to be the one in control tonight.” Bin teased as he raised Chan and took off his pants. 

Chan stood off his lap and took off his shirt. Changbin saw him undress with hungry eyes and didn’t wait to pull him close once his pants were off. 

“How do you want to do this?” Chan asked Changbin while he positioned himself in between his legs. 

“Let’s just go with the flow and stop making plans for everything for once in your life.” 

“Ok, ok.” 

Chan leaned in as he reached for the drawer next to Changbin’s bed. Their lips met in another kiss but this time more messier, more fighting for control. 

Changbin kept thrusting up, trying to have some friction with Chan so he could get some steam off. It was to no avail since Chan was concentrating on finding the lub on the drawer. 

Changbin gave up and went to Chan’s neck and chest instead. 

He began biting and sucking (marks that would probably be noticable tomorrow. Chan wasn’t going to be able to wear his tank tops for a while. Not that Changbin was complaining), and he gripped Chan’s waist tightly. 

“Got it.” Chan found the lube and dropped it next to them. “Let me take care of you for a little bit.” 

Chan gave all his attention to Changbin; from kisses all over his face, to kisses on his neck, love bites, to trails of kisses down to his chest and abdomen. 

“Binnie.” Chan gasped over Changbin’s skin, making him shiver under the oldest. “Honey, tell me what color you are right now.” 

“Green.” 

Chan smiled and went lower, reaching Changbin’s waistband. His fingers pulled and Binnie squirmed under him, moaning in response. 

“Binnie-“ 

“Green, Chan.” He was quick to say. 

“Okay, baby.” Chan chuckled at Bin’s impatience but slowly lowered Binnie’s boxers off of him. 

And it wasn’t that Binnie felt that he had less compared to Chan, but he just felt very exposed. In a good way. 

“Tell me when to stop, okay?” Changbin nodded, taking a deep breath. 

Chan leaned in and licked the tip before sucking on it. Changbin took slow but quick breaths. The oldest licked from top to bottom, making Changbin shiver and then swallowed him whole. 

“Mmm, Chris.” 

Changbin’s fingers went towards brown curls of hair and tugged hard. Chan almost lost concentration because he coughed, making Binnie let go of his hair. 

“I’m-“ Chan reached for his boyfriend’s hand and placed it back over his head. He tapped it once and went back to his task. 

One tap; this action was okay. 

Chan kept going, making a mess out of Changbin with every lick, suck and twirl of his tongue. 

“Chan, wait-“ Changbin tried pulling his boyfriend out of his dick before he came, not knowing if Chan would like him to come in his mouth or not. 

Chan didn’t think alike though, because he took a deep breath before diving in again, taking Changbin completely in, until the tip reached his throat and sucked at the bottom. Making Changbin moan loudly and come inside his mouth. 

“Fuck, baby.” Changbin pulled himself up on his elbows and looked down at Chan. His boyfriend had his face glozzy, dry tears running down his cheeks, and lips swollen, eyes fully dilated. “That was awesome.” 

Chan cleaned his mouth from the saliva that had fallen and stood from the floor. 

“Yeah?” He leaned into Bin’s space and kissed him. Changbin could taste himself in Channie’s tongue, and afterwards he would probably say that’s weird, but right now? He didn’t care. 

Chan passed his fingers through Bin’s belly, all the way up to his chest and gripped his shoulders tightly. 

“Are you ready?” 

Changbin nodded, opening his legs to make more space for Chan. 

Bang Chan grabbed the lub bottle and opened it. He put some on his fingers and scooted closer to Changbin. 

“If it feels uncomfortable, tell me to stop.” Changbin nodded and Chan started with one finger. 

Chan went slow and steady, trying to get Changbin to be comfortable. 

“Is this okay?” 

“Y-Yeah.” Changbin gasped. Chan added another finger, working on expanding Changbin to prepare him well for what was next. 

“Binnie, if you feel-“ 

“Say it in more time and I swear I will walk out.” Changbin said, glaring at Chan. 

“I just want to make sure-“ 

“Green, Chris.” Binnie said, more impatient.

Chan nodded, and continued. He added the third finger and Changbin gripped the sheets. 

“Fuck, Chris.” Changbin moaned, making Chan’s dick twitch inside his boxers. “More.” 

Chan kept going until he felt his boyfriend was ready. He grabbed the lube bottle again, then took off the rest of his clothes and got back in bed. 

“Damn, baby.” Changbin said, gazing all over Chan’s body. “I knew you hit the gym, but I didn’t know this is what you had hidden all this time.” Binnie’s hands reached for Chan’s chest and scraped with his nails over white skin. “You kept this all to yourself?” 

Chan grinned as he blushed too. 

“All yours now.” 

“Better be.” 

Chan leaned in and connected their lips once more, using it as a distraction to align himself with Changbin’s entrance. 

They seperated for air and Changbin felt the air get hotter. 

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” The youngest nodded and Chan grabbed him by his thighs to ground himself and push in. 

Changbin shouted, holding onto the blankets tightly, tears forming on his eyes. 

“It’s okay, baby.” Chan filled his face with kisses and his ears with sweet words. “I’ll go slow.” 

Chan pressed more, going deeper and Changbin gripped his biceps tightly with one of his hands. 

“Just do it, and then I’ll get used to it.” 

Chan nodded, changed his hand placement to Bin’s waist and thrust in hard and deep, hitting Changbin right in his sweet spot in one go. 

“Ah!” Changbin moaned, bending his back upwards. “Fuck.” His eyes filled with tears again and Chan was quick to give him some pampering to ease the pain. 

“Just breathe, my love.” 

“I’m good, go.” Chan looked down at black eyes. “Green, Chris.” 

Chan kissed him one more time and backed up before thrusting again, into Changbin; making the younger squirm under him and moan into his mouth. 

“Yeah, just like that baby.” Changbin said between kisses and short breaths. 

“Yeah?” Chan placed one of his hands next to Binnie’s head to support himself. “You like it?” 

Changbin didn’t answer and instead placed his hands over Chan’s back, scratching at the next thrust he gave. (Chan was definitely not going to be able to wear his tank tops for a while). 

“Binnie.” 

Changbin looked up and met black eyes full of lust and desire looking down at him. 

“Channie.” 

Changbin reached for the hand that rested next to his head and intertwined their fingers together. 

“I love you.” 

Chan was never the one usually showing affection first, so having him say those words made Changbin’s heart flutter. 

“I love you too.” 

They kissed again; Chan creating a rhythm that left Changbin breathless with every thrust and him wanting more with every passing minute. 

That night they didn’t just have sex for the first time; but Bang Chan made sure to make Changbin feel love. It wasn’t just sex, it was love. 

And that was exactly what they did. 

And if the next morning (and the days that followed) Changbin couldn’t walk properly, well it wasn’t Hyunjin’s, Minho’s or Seungmin’s business.

Something Changbin learned while being with Chan was that besides himself, everyone else in the team was Chan’s kid. In one way or another. 

Chan saw them as his own children, precious lives he needed to take care of; his little babies. 

So, Changbin grew to see them as that; his own children too. In which, in that case, it made him and Chan the parents. 

And when he came to terms with that, he realized he was more protective of Han more than anyone else. And maybe it was because they've been together far more than Stray Kids has, because they have 3RACHA, but nonetheless he was still protective of his baby. 

And one day came the time where he clearly showed that. 

“Chan hyung, Changbin.” Minho called from the doorframe of Chan’s room. 

“Yes?”

Chan was sitting in his desk chair working on his laptop while Changbin laid in bed, typing on his phone. 

“Could I talk to the both of you, for a second?” 

“Yeah.” Chan closed his laptop and motioned for Minho to enter the room. “Is everything okay?” Minho closed the door behind him. 

“Yeah, I just want to talk about something.” Changbin sat up on bed and Chan sat next to him. 

“Yeah, of course.” Chan said, taking his boyfriend’s hand. 

“It has taken me some time to realize some things about myself and when I finally did I realized I’ve been very dumb.” 

Changbin and Chan were confused, but decided to let him continue. 

“I never knew I could love this person until I saw him get hurt.” Minho's hands began shaking and Chan noticed. “Thoughts of losing him scared me, and I never want to imagine that happening.” 

“Is this about-“ 

“And I don’t want to be scared anymore.” Minho looked up to the couple. “And I’ve come to you both, to you Changbin,” Minho’s eyes landed on Changbin. “Because I know how protective you both are of Jisung.” 

Chan’s hand gripped Changbin’s hand while he gasped. 

“Especially you, Changbin.” 

Changbin stared at Minho, not saying a word. 

“I want your permission to date Jisung, officially.” Minho said. “And take the next step in our relationship. 

“Oh my god, Changbin!” Chan looked at his boyfriend. 

Changbin still just stared at Minho. 

“Changbin?” Chan called. 

“Jisung has gone through a lot with you.” Changbin said, making Minho get goosebumps. “He has cried, gone days without eating, gotten depressed because of you-“ 

“Changbin!” 

“What makes you think I’ll ever let you date him?” 

“I know I did wrong by not acknowledging his feelings back when I didn’t want to accept what I felt.” Minho took a small box out of his pocket. “But I’m ready now, and I’ll prove it to you if that’s what it takes for you to say yes.” 

Minho opened the box and showed the couple a thin silver ring. 

“I really love him, and I see that very clearly now.” Minho smiled, looking at the ring. “I want to spend the rest of my life with him.” 

Changbin looked at the ring and felt his heart fill with happiness. 

His babies were growing. 

“Changbin?” Chan called, worried. 

“If you break his heart Lee Minho…” 

Minho and Chan both stood at the same time, smiles forming on their lips. 

“I will haunt you.” Changbin said. “There‘s going to be no place on Earth where you can go that I won’t find you if one single tear falls down Han Jisung’s face.” 

“Changbin…” Chan pulled at his hand. 

“Understood?” Minho nodded. “Good.” 

Changbin looked back at the ring. 

“You're going to give him that?” 

“Not yet.” Minho said, putting the box away. “I’m going to wait a little bit.” Changbin nodded and Chan began congratulating Minho. 

Changbin blocked off the conversation to think for a second.

Maybe it was time for him and Chan to take the next step too. They’ve been together for 2 years now, but technically had feelings for each other since day one. 

And it was the way that Chan’s eyes glowed at the sight of the ring that made Changbin realize that yes, maybe it was about time. 

He knew he wanted to be with Chan for the rest of his life, that there was no one else he wanted to have by his side. He loved Bang Chan, he loved Channie, and he loved Christopher Bang; nothing was ever going to change that.  

There was no doubt about this, and he was sure of what he wanted. He reached for his phone and opened the messages app. 

Can we meet tomorrow? 

He received a response right away. 

Younggie✨

Yes, San is going to be out with Hongjoong and Seonghwa. 

I have the day off.

What are we up to? 

Changbin sent a quick answer. 

Younggie✨ 

OMG!! Of course I’ll go with you. 

Can Jongho also come? 

Changbin responded and turned off his phone in time for Chan to sit on his lap. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked. “I know this must be a lot for you. Jisung and you are very close.” 

“Yes, baby, everything is fine.” Changbin smiled. “There’s nothing more truer than what those two have, trust me.” Chan laughed. “They deserve to be together.” 

“Yeah, you're right.” 

Changbin kissed Chan’s chin. 

“I love you.” He whispered. 

“I love you too.” 

Months passed before Changbin found the right moment to ask Chan the big question. 

The moment actually presented itself when Changbin didn't expect it; AAA Awards (again) when 3RACHA won Best Creator Award.  

It was the first award 3RACHA had ever won, so Changbin took this unexpected chance to ask the big question. 

“Congratulations!” Felix hugged Chan and Changbin. 

Seungmin and Jeongin were hugging Han, almost cutting off his ability to breathe. 

“You guys made it!” Minho said, hugging Chan and Changbin too. 

“We’re so happy for you guys.” Hyunjin patted Han’s back. 

“Thank you, guys.” Chan said, happy and embarrassed to get so much attention at once. 

“We wouldn’t have made it without you guys.” Changbin said, looking at Chan. “None of us would've made it without you.” 

Chan looked at Changbin; confused. 

Felix and Minho took a step back; Minho because he already knew and Felix because he wanted to give them some space. 

“It’s a group effort, Binnie.” Chan said, not wanting to take all the credit for himself. 

“Chris, you have brought us this far.” Changbin stepped back from the hug. “And you had to go through so many things; things that sometimes were hard.” 

“Stop it.” Chan’s eyes got watered. 

“But in all of that, you found us.” Changbin intertwined his hand with Chan’s. “You found me, and I haven’t been so happy than when I am when I’m with you.”

By now, Seungmin and Hyunjin had also caught onto what was going on. 

“Chan, you spent seven years looking for your own team.” Bang Chan sniffled, trying not to cry. “Failing endlessly.” 

Felix saw Changbin take out a black box out of his pocket and gasped. 

“But for every year you spent alone, it gave you one person to make up for it.” Chan’s eyes were red. “And you found your family with us; with me.” 

Changbin dropped to one knee and Bang Chan looked at him in disbelief. 

“So, for all those years that you were alone, and the years after that where you found a place to call home. After all the times we spent together not knowing what to do or how to express each other’s feelings, for all the times that you took care of each and one of us even when it got you heartbroken, sad, and angry, you stood up for us.” 

Changbin opened the box, and all the other members leaned in to see the ring. It was a plain black ring with something engraved inside. 

“We already have our own family here, with the eight of us.” Changbin took Chan’s left hand. “But I want us to build our own family too, starting now.” 

“Changbin…” 

“If you could just say yes…” 

Bang Chan couldn’t hold his tears any longer, so he nodded, letting the tears fall and hugged Changbin. 

“Yes.” He said. “I would love to make our own family and I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.” 

The team began applauding; Han cleaned off his tears. 

“I love you, Christopher Bang.”  

“And I love you, Seo Changbin.” 

That night they went out to dinner to celebrate the engagement of both. 

Everyone was happy for them, Hyunjin and Felix began making wedding plans. Minho and Seungmin were already talking about bachelor parties and Han just kept quiet, only leaning on Changbin the entire night.

Chan kept looking at him worried, but didn’t want to ask what was wrong at the moment. He would wait until later.

Years later, Changbin now stood on an altar waiting for Bang Chan to walk down the aisle by his father and mother.

“How do you feel?” Wooyoung asked from behind him. 

Jung Wooyoung was Changbin’s best friend and also his best man. 

“Nervous.” Changbin answered honestly. 

“Just breath.” 

Changbin nodded and the piano started playing. Everyone stood from their seats and turned towards the entrance. 

The wedding was being held in Australia; as petitioned by Christopher Bang. His parents rented a place where they usually celebrated birthday parties and turned it into a wedding venue. 

The door opened and first walked in Han along with Jeongin. Then followed Hyunjin with Felix. Lastly, Seungmin walked in with Minho. They all wore black suits, just like the guests wore anything but white. 

They reached the altar and stood next to it, turning their bodies towards the door. Felix walked up to the altar and stood across from Wooyoung as he was the other best man.

The piano song shifted, and Changbin looked up in time to see Bang Chan appear at the end of the hallway. 

He wore a white suit, with a red flower on the front pocket. His dad stood next to him, with a red suit and a white flower on the front pocket. His mom was on the other side with a red dress that matched her husband. 

“Breathe, Changbin.” Wooyoung whispered to his ear. 

Bang Chan began walking down the aisle, his eyes not leaving Changbin’s own. 

“Wow.” Was the first thing Changbin said when Bang Chan reached the altar. “You look so beautiful.” 

Channie’s hair was brushed down, black curls falling over his forehead. He had a little bit of makeup that his mom used on him and he wore the biggest smile on his face that showed the dimples that Changbin loved so much.  

“You do too.” Chan said, smiling at Changbin. 

“I’m so happy for the both of you.” Chan’s dad said, squeezing his son’s hand tightly before placing it over Changbin’s stretched out hand. “Please, take care of him.” Chan’s dad touched Binnie’s shoulder. “Make sure he eats properly, that he sleeps properly, that he doesn’t overload himself with work.” The man’s eyes got watery. “But most of all, never stop loving him, okay?” 

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop doing so.” Changbin hugged the man and took a step back to talk to Chan’s mom. 

“I knew, from the moment I first met you, that you were the one for my boy.” Changbin’s ears got red. “And I’m so happy to see you guys here. You’ve come so far, the both of you.” 

“Thank you.” Changbin hugged her. 

“Please, take care of him for us, okay?” She whispered in his ear, for only him to hear. “He found his home in you, so don’t ever let him go.” Chan’s mom was about to cry. “And even in hard times or troubles, always be each other’s strength, okay?” Changbin nodded.

Chan’s parents took a step back and went to sit. 

“I’ll begin the ceremony.” The officiant said. 

When time came for the rings and the vows, the door was opened again. Chan looked back, confused. Changbin on the other hand smiled and looked at Wooyoung, who looked at his team members, who were all with their thumbs up and smiling. 

“You thought you could get married without me?” 

Bang Chan’s lips formed a smile slowly while his heart began beating fast. 

Through the door came Hannah Bang, with a red suit and her hair high up in a ponytail. 

“Hannah?!” 

“Surprise!” The entire Ateez members shouted in unison. “Happy wedding day!” 

Chan looked at Wooyoung and the youngest was smiling back at him.

Hannah walked up to the altar, a box in her hands. 

“I think you’re going to need this for this part.” Hannah gave Chan the box. 

“I thought…” Chan hugged Hannah. “I thought you were not going to make it.” 

“Yeah, well.” Hannah looked towards the members of Ateez. “They did the impossible to get me here.” 

Chan smiled at them and mumbled a “thank you” in return. 

Hannah walked up to Changbin and handed him another box. 

“Keep him safe, okay?” She whispered in his ear. “You saved him back then, I’m sure you’ll do so from now on too.” Changbin nodded and hugged Hannah in return.

“Well, let us continue.” 

Chan opened the box and took out the black ring. He then reached for Changbin’s left hand. 

“I’m a person that doesn’t like to show much emotions if I don’t have to.” The guys chuckled knowing it was true. “But with you it was different. From the day I met you, you changed something in me. And I’m happy about that, because I don’t think I would have made it this far if it hadn’t been for you.” 

Changbin cleaned his eyes before tears fell down. 

“And you, and the team, have made my life so much easier.” Chan’s voice cracked. “I’m glad that we have this family to call our own, and I can't wait for us to create our own.” 

Han sniffled, not able to hold back the tears. 

“So, with this ring I prove to you that I want nothing but happiness for the both of us. I want to show you that it’s only you who I want in my life and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.” 

Chan slid the ring on Changbin’s finger.

Changbin opened the box Hannah gave him and took out a silver ring. 

“I still remember the first day I saw you.” Changbin began. “You were getting lunch from the cafeteria. I remember the first day I met you, when you asked me and Han to see you in the dance room so we could talk about what soon became known as 3RACHA. I remember my first awkward moment with you back when I spilled water over you. We were recording some songs in your studio.” 

Han made a confused face, not remembering such a thing. 

“I remember when I first had my first special moment with you, when you asked me my opinion on a song’s arrangement.” Chan’s cheeks turned red out of embarrassment. “I remember when I first got my “butterfly in my stomach” moment with you, I remember when we first held hands, when we almost kissed for the first time.”

The team looked at Jisung, who avoided eye contact. 

“I remember when we actually kissed for the first time, I remember our first fight; the one that gave life to this.” Changbin smiled, all those memories passing by his mind. “I remember the Maniac Tour; it was so special.” 

Of course, not anyone knew what he meant; only Stray Kids (and Wooyoung) did. 

“I remember when I came to terms with the fact that all the members were sort of our kids in a way or another, and how protective I got of Hannie when Minho asked to date him.” 

Han chuckled, reaching for the silver ring that now decorated his ring finger on his left hand. 

“But most of all, I remember when I asked you to marry me.” Chan finally looked up at Changbin’s eyes. “It was the best day of our lives, of 3RACHA, and I couldn't have made the best choice of my life that day.” Changbin took a deep breath. “Because thanks to all those memories, I know for a fact that now, as I’m standing here with our favorite people and closest friends…” 

Christopher shed a few tears. 

“I know for sure, that you’re the one for me.” Changbin slid the ring on Chan’s finger. “And that I will never let you go, ever.” 

“With these rings presented, and with these vows as proof of love, and with the power vested on me, now I pronounce you husband and groom.” 

Changbin pulled Bang Chan before the oldest could do it himself and kissed him. Everyone began applauding and shouting, Han being the first to start crying (again). (He got emotional when it came to them, because for him, they were his parents)

“I love you.” Changbin whispered, only for Chan to hear, and placed his forehead over his now husband. 

“I love you, too.” Chan said, smiling and locking his fingers on black curls of hair. 

This was the start of their new big adventure, to make new memories and to cherish the old ones. 

Because at the end of the day, Changbin always loved Bang Chan. 

Just the way he was. 

“When I see your face

There's not a thing that I would change

'Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

The whole world stops and stares for a while

'Cause girl, you're amazing

Just the way you are”

“Just The Way You Are” 

–Bruno Mars