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If Acheron had such a weak memory why was it that she faced constant nightmares or maybe they were night terrors…she never remembered which was for remembering a dream and which for waking up with no souvenirs. Either way one thing was for sure, she didn’t recall whatever happened whilst she was sleeping. She didn’t understand why she woke up in cold sweats, panting as if she’d been fighting for her life…actually maybe she had been. Who knows.
“Sorry.” Acheron mumbled, looking down to her fist, analyzing them. She had no Sword in her hand, her hands weren’t stained, she was in her hotel room and Black Swan was somehow by her side.
“Did I wake you?” She couldn’t bring herself to look up.
“No. I don’t need much sleep.” She hadn’t even been sleeping, from the corner of her eye Acheron could see a book closed on her lap. “So don’t apologize sweetheart.”
Acheron squeezed her fists hard enough that her knuckles could slowly go white. She could feel Black Swan’s heavy stare. She was playing a dangerous game by not looking such a beauty in the eyes. Even if doubted Black Swan would dare harm her she should look up. She should always be on her guard.
“Are you alright?”
Acheron nodded her head but she didn’t say anything, she kept staring at her fists. She turned her body away from Black Swan, shifted her weight off of the bed. She silently walked to the window. She could hear Black Swan putting down the book, switching on a light before she heard the sound of sheets moving. It was probably Black Swan moving in their shared bed, she was probably itching herself close to Acheron’s side but Acheron didn’t care. She opened the curtains ever so slightly, just enough so she could look outside and blankly stare at nothing. Who knew what time it was - of course it was the middle of the night - no one was walking around on the streets, a few cars roamed around but even then it was a ghost town.
Thousands of questions sat in Acheron’s mind and somehow she couldn’t answer any.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Acheron shook her head and now her eyes shifted towards her sword. Well kept in its precious scabbard it was leaning against a chair. She always kept it close, the idea of it being more than arm length away felt off . Had she used her sword in whatever dream she’d had? Had she drawn it out of its scabbard?
“Sweetheart?”
Everytime Black Swan spoke her voice became more and more gentle.
“Yes?”
This time Acheron turned around. She lifted her head high enough so her eyes could find those space-like ones. Black Swan sent her a small smile when she saw those dark abyss eyes. She was holding herself up with her arm and with her eyes alone she seemed to be inspecting Acheron from head-to-toe.
Though not a single other word escaped those beautiful lips. Maybe she was waiting for Acheron to answer her previous questions.
“I…I’m alright.” Acheron managed to mumble out, eyes quickly falling to the ground.
It may seem like an obvious lie but she was telling the truth. She was just alright . She wasn’t happy, sad or angry. She didn’t feel anything so actually perhaps a better word was numb. Whatever had happened whilst she had been sleeping she had no memory of it. She was meant to deal with the aftermath, meant to find a way to move on, without even knowing what happened. Whatever had happened, there was nothing to accept, nothing to think of.
Despite that her mind acted like it had been thrown into a tornado. For someone who didn’t know her she’d seem calm, composed, mysterious, her usual self but for Black Swan, for someone she did know her, it was obvious that the poor thing couldn’t think straight. She could barely manage to form simple sentences without stumbling her words…sleep would be out of the question until her mind calmed down.
Black Swan got up from their bed, she walked the few steps that separated them towards Acheron. She tilted her head to the side attentively watching.
“I dreamt of…I don’t know of…I don’t remember.” Acheron managed with a cold sigh.
“It isn’t your fault sweetheart-”
Black Swan reached over to brush Acheron's arm, she wanted to help her in any way she could but her hand was wacked away. They’d spent three nights at the hotel and during every single one of them Acheron had ended up waking up in the middle of the night. She always started by apologizing and asking if she’d woken Black Swan, forgetting that Black Swan didn’t have a human body anymore and therefore didn’t need much sleep.
“I don’t care if it’s my fault or not.” Acheron’s breath was heavy and there was a clear tone of frustration in her words. “I need to remember…something, anything. Why am I here? Why do I always wake up at night? What have I left behind? Tell me, memory keeper.”
With the final sentence Acheron shifted her eyes upwards, pleading and Black Swan’s eyes grew ever-so-slightly wider.
Between the two of them Acheron wasn’t meant to call her memory keeper just like she wasn’t meant to call her beautiful miss Ranger. They kept themselves at a first name basis, or for Black Swan any name that didn’t involve the words Galaxy Ranger. Perhaps Acheron had momentarily forgotten. It didn’t bother Black Swan.
“Sorry.” Acheron suddenly added. “I…I didn’t think. I just…answers.”
Her eyes once again shifted to that sword. It was her precious weapon, she took great care of it and somehow even if it was meant to assist her in combat it probably had more memories than she did. When she forced herself to look away, the past serving her no purpose now, Black Swan had already extended her hand again. Every time they’d spoken in the middle of the night, she’d given Acheron the same option.
“Come with me. Why don’t we go take a walk and I can try to answer your questions?”
If past nights were anything to go by, considering the time, there probably wouldn’t be anyone lurking by the reception except the employees. Acheron looked at her sword and then to Black Swan, she extended her own hand and let it settle down with Black Swan’s grip.
“Bring it with you.”
The sword she meant. Acheron kept it so close to her, even if Black Swan had told her before they’d arrived that there would be no danger lingering around, she wasn’t the same without it. She had a connection with it and words often failed to describe what it truly meant to her.
With her free hand Acheron took the sword as her other one was still enveloped with Black Swan’s. They each quickly changed out of their pajamas for obvious reasons and then left their hotel room. Walking down a corridor towards the elevator silently. The ting of the elevator signified they were right on time, a few exhausted looking people were heading back to their room, they completely ignored Acheron even if she was holding her sword tightly. Black Swan led Acheron into the elevator, she clicked the button for the main floor for the both of them. Neither said anything.
The doors to the elevator reopened and again Black Swan led the way for Acheron. They were greeted with some beautiful classic music, alongside some dimmed blue lights matching the of the starry night outside. There was no around as they’d both expected. However, that still didn’t change the fact neither particularly liked the idea of someone eavesdropping onto their conversation so they found themselves a hidden corner.
Acheron put down her sword against the sofa before she sat down with Black Swan. She kept her fists firmly on her thighs and her eyes focused on them like she’d get in trouble otherwise.
“Your first question,” Black Swan started, waiting for Acheron to look at her but she didn’t. “you’re here because of me. I wished to spend more time with you. Remember?”
Acheron nodded her head.
“You texted me, reintroducing yourself even if I remembered you and asked that we meet…it was because you wanted to spend more time with me?”
Black Swan hummed in confirmation. Until now she hadn’t dared tell Acheron directly why she’d wanted them to meet. The sweet woman didn’t know that after their first engagement Black Swan debated never approaching her again. Her curiosity could have killed her yet that experience made Acheron all the more captivating. She was nothing like any other person Black Swan had ever had the chance of meeting. It was impossible to not reach out to her again and ask that they spent more time together. She was quite happy when Acheron accepted.
“Your second question,” Black Swan continued, putting her hands over Acheron's fists now. A silent request for her to relax. If Acheron never tried to, how could her mind possibly follow. “You probably wake up at night due to night terrors. They’re identical to nightmares except for the little detail that you don’t not remember anything. With you my beautiful there are probably many reasons you experience them…possibly your past.”
“Something I cannot remember.”
Acheron painfully threw, ignoring Black Swan’s gentle mhm. Ignoring how her gentle hand came resting onto her jaw and how Black Swan so carefully lifted it up so their eyes could meet.
“Your third question.” Black Swan couldn’t say anything else.
Acheron had asked what she left behind but that was the distant path she knew little of and a distant path Black Swan hadn’t fully seen. When she’d entered Acheron’s memories, she only got a glimpse and that had been more than sufficient. Acheron’s memories were anything but simple. They were drowned in an abyss and even if it brought Acheron great pain perhaps it was best if they stayed forgotten.
“You do too much for me.” Acheron admitted.
She knew painfully well that she may never be able to find some of her disappearing memories, they both did. And of course, for some of these memories Acheron never really cared, however for some of her other memories the idea felt like she was being punched in the gut. The best example of memories Acheron wanted to forever keep was Black Swan. Her soft touch against Acheron’s hand allowed countless memories to flash through her eyes in seconds but she couldn’t put her finger on when or what had happened exactly. She could swear someone else had once held her hands like this, she could swear someone else had once comforted her like this but she didn’t know who had. It obviously wasn’t Black Swan. Acheron had already asked a couple of times and everytime Black Swan had reminded her that she hadn’t introduced herself until the night they’d danced together. The first and what Black Swan had thought would be their final meeting if she wasn’t so curious to know more about her mysterious Acheron.
“Sweetheart I do not do enough for you. You ask a question that as a memory keeper I should be able to answer. You have memories I should be able to understand even if you cannot, yet everything about you…I do not mean it in a negative way but you are a never ending thunderstorm.”
Acheron nodded her head.
“I’m aware. I don’t mean to be.” Black Swan gave her a warm smiling as if signifying she already knew that. Maybe it wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. “I think…or no. I- I know that one of my goals was once to fight for all that is beautiful in the…world but the place where I got that from is destroyed…that much I know. So much has happened since then how can I be sure that my path hasn’t been swayed?”
“With such a strong willpower I doubt it.” It didn’t even take Black Swan a second to answer. “Even if your memory can be weak, you are smarter and rely on your emotions. For such a powerful goal to have followed you since your homeland there must be a reason…your memories must be truly authentic and those you have forgotten must hide deep secrets.”
Acheron looked at Black Swan wide eyed, she tilted her to the side a little unsure of what to say. Various questions lied on her tongue, some she knew the answer to and others she did not. It was such a confusing thing being next to Black Swan because she had a stunning ability when it came to masking her true thoughts.
Now was a rare moment where Acheron wasn’t sure if the memory keeper wasn’t trying to hunt down her memories again instead of being here, being together. She moved her hand away from Black Swan hold. She had no recollection of many things but one thing was for sure, she wouldn’t let someone enter her mind easily.
“Are you asking to collect my memories again?”
There was only one way to figure it out so she asked plainly, always preferring to be straightforward.
“No. No. What I meant was that even if you don’t remember what happened, the emotions you attached it with made it unforgettable. Memories do not lie and emotions can also tell a lot. Some memory keepers prefer collecting memories solly based on their emotions.”
“You?”
Black Swan shook her head. “I’ve come across very passionate memories but I’m not trying to collect yours, sweetheart.”
The sweetness of her voice and the way she always called Acheron ‘sweetheart’. Acheron could melt away just with the words. Ever since Black Swan had forced her to look up, she’d been hypnotized by those eyes that somehow reminded her of her favorite candy. A sweet peach flavored candy she hadn’t tasted in years.
She laid her head down onto Black Swan’s shoulder, her mind was no longer throwing itself everywhere but she wasn’t exactly ready to leave just yet, she wasn’t tired. She still wanted to appreciate the music of the classical violin playing in the background for just a little longer. Acheron found herself smiling lightly when Black Swan reached over and brushed her hair out of her face.
“Are you ok?” Black Swan asked, watching Acheron out of the corner of her eye.
“Mhm. Let’s just stay here a bit.”
Black Swan smiled, she didn’t mind that idea. Not even for a second. She looked out ahead and all she could think of was their first meeting.
It wasn’t the first time she’d thought of it. She recalled that dance, how it just got better and better, how it could have gone for hours. She enjoyed teaching Acheron the art of dancing, she recalled those little steps Acheron had missed but that didn’t change the course of the dance. She’d never met someone like Acheron…Acheron was special and never Black Swan had thought there could be such a beast that lingered in her. A venomous snake of some sort that Black Swan had accidentally gotten to witness live when trying to seek into Acheron’s memories. She’d semi accomplish what she’d set out to do but at what cost. She had literally debated never talking to Acheron again after she’d only seen a glimpse. Acheron had lived through it, they were memories she wasn’t aware were missing. There were probably more than a handful of battles where she came out triumphant and she had no idea.
Memories do not lie and Acheron lacked that…the price to look into her abyss was costly.
They both walked on very thin ice, trying to trust someone who could betray them at any moment.
“Sweetheart-”
Something crashing echoed nearby, not from inside the hotel but from outside of the streets. A few wasted people were walking by and had dropped something. It was only an instant, they weren’t doing anything, they probably hadn’t meant it yet it was nothing to ruin everything. In an instant, Acheron had raised herself from the couch, her head snapped towards the sound and her sword in hand.
“Let’s go.” She warned Black Swan in the next instant. Their delicate peace had been ruined so they hurried away. “Stay near me.”
Paying no mind to it Black Swan let out a small chuckle. No one except Acheron could even see her.
She didn’t think Acheron would grab her hand without warning and lead them both back to the elevator. Out of the corner of her eye, she kept watching the drunk. She had a stern grip on her weapon ready for anything, even so no one else seemed concerned by them. Not even the personnel at the reception who hadn’t spared a glance towards the outside. Black Swan assumed Acheron was overthinking but then again with such a ruthless path who wouldn’t?
It was only once they were safely back in their hotel room, only once Acheron had locked the door, that she finally let go of Black Swan’s hand. She didn’t even say a word when she walked past Black Swan so she could go put down her sword. She placed it exactly where it had laid an hour ago.
An hour ago, Acheron had looked out the window to see no one. Everything had been so peaceful. Now she looked out to see a couple of drunks talking with one another, enjoying the night even if they’d probably regret all the drinks in a few hours.
An hour ago, she’d looked at her sword and wondered what the memories it contained could be. She wished she had them but maybe it was for the best she didn’t. What had she done in the past caused her such a horrible memory? What important things did she swore to remember that she no longer could? What stories did she remember but didn’t know from who?
“Sweetheart?” She heard Black Swan’s voice. But she didn’t make a move to respond.
They both played a dangerous game.
Acheron wasn’t looking behind her yet she felt Black Swan approaching and Black Swan was approaching someone who could so easily kill her.
“I’m behind you.” Black Swan whispered to not startle Acheron. She’d learnt her lesson a while back when Acheron had elbowed her in the ribs hard enough to make almost anyone fall forward in pain. Acheron had quite the defensive reflexes.
“That’s fine.” Acheron replied coolly, without breaking her eyes from the window.
Black Swan carefully dragged her fingers up Acheron’s arms just like during that first dance except this time she didn’t spin her around. No this time, she wrapped her arms around the woman, hugging from behind. She set her chin on top of the Acheron’s shoulder.
“Are you alright?”
Acheron let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know.”
Part of her wished to get her memories back. If she couldn’t have those then at the very least she hoped one day she’d be granted the chance to experience a nightmare. All she wanted was the souvenir even if it was meant to haunt her.
So far even that was too much to ask for.
A single salty tear fell from her eye, landing right on Black Swan’s hand. Then another and another. Until her eyes were simply crying a world of its own and, of course, Acheron was powerless to stop it. She moved her hand to wipe the tears away but Black Swan was quicker. She spun Acheron around and threw her arms over her, pulling her to embrace her. And oh all the memories of their dance poured like rain onto Acheron. She specifically remembered how after Black Swan had dipped her so carefully - she’d felt like she was going to fall endlessly all over again but no Black Swan held her up - she found herself leaning into her more deeply. She could have stayed there ages if she wasn’t meant to be dancing. She was so comfortable leaning onto Black Swan, she was so comfortable getting lost in that dance, she hadn’t enjoyed herself like that in ages.
Maybe one day she would get the honors of asking Black Swan to a dance, maybe she would remember more, maybe the steps would be muscle memory instead of Black Swan partially helping her as well as leading everything.
“Sweetheart,” Black Swan cut in, distracting Acheron once again from her own thoughts. “you don’t need your memories to be you. I was mesmerized when I saw you for so many more reasons other than the memories you cannot recall.”
“But-” Acheron tried to pull herself away, she tried to grasp some sense of control over her emotions but Black Swan held her tightly.
“No.” There would be no compromise when it came to this. Black Swan refused to listen to Acheron belittle herself. “You are as mysterious as you are dangerous. Gorgeous beyond words and those who get to know quickly realize just how delicate you are. You are Acheron. And no matter what has happened in your past I am here with you now.”
“What about when we part ways…” Acheron’s voice was barely more than a whisper now.
“Then we will find eachother again.”
The words were meant to bring reassurance but for Acheron hope was as dangerous as turning her back away. She wandered around endlessly from planet to planet. She often forgot things and although she had no plans of forgetting Black Swan she’d learned far too long ago that she had no power over her own mind. The words, the reality, it was too cruel for her to face.
She pushed herself away from Black Swan but she didn’t say or do anything. She let Black Swan easily wipe away the dried up tears on her cheek. Any one of their engagements may very well be the last one…everything was unpredictable.
“If you’re worried about forgetting me, we can set a specific moment to meet up as frequently as you would like or when we do meet up again if you have forgotten me I can remind you of who I am.”
It was as if Black Swan could read her mind, as if she literally saw the worries wearing Acheron down and chose to give her options.
“I don’t want to hold you back from collecting memories…”
Black Swan started shaking her head so quickly. “You could never do that.”
Acheron raised her brow, she believed Black Swan was telling the truth even so it wasn’t fair to hold her back.
“Let’s not plan when we meet.” Acheron trusted their path would eventually cross again. This wouldn’t be the end. “When we do meet up…Sometimes I need time to remember…give me that and if I cannot recall you, remind me.”
She wanted to start crying at the simple idea that she wouldn't remember Black Swan. It wouldn’t be fair. That dance and Black Swan, were things Acheron would treasure but she also needed to realistically think ahead. She pulled Black Swan closer to her again, tomorrow they would part ways but for tonight she was with Black Swan, for tonight she knew who this was.
Black Swan was beyond patient with her, she didn’t say anything, she barely even moved a muscle. All she did was hold onto Acheron but it was enough until Acheron decided she was prepared to look Black Swan in the eyes again. Those eyes didn’t even pity her, those galaxy eyes were as calm as an ocean with a soft and sympathetic look about them.
“Come,” Black Swan took her hand leading her across the room so they could grab their pajamas back. “you go get changed first, then I will and then we’ll go to sleep. Ok?”
That voice was both hypnotizing, melting Acheron’s brain just as much as it was bringing her a clarity she never knew was achievable. Acheron obidentally nodded her head, she grabbed her pajamas and did exactly as Black Swan said they would.
And the second her head hit her pillow, before Black Swan had even come to lay beside her, she felt her dry eyes trying to close themselves, growing heavier and heavier against her futile fighting.
“I’m here.” Black Swan whispered, coming to lie next to Acheron, lazily stroking her arm. “I’m here, Acheron.”
She whispered again, softer this time, adding Acheron’s name for the first time in the night almost like she also needed to ground herself to reality. Could it be that Black Swan was also worried about the possibility Acheron would forget her? It had never crossed her mind until now and she was too tired to properly pay attention to the answer she would get. It would have to be a question for tomorrow…if her mind managed to remember of course.