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Jeonghan pops a lollipop into his mouth and snatches the postcard out of Seungcheol’s hand, reading the tiny letters with a slight frown. He hums, bored, then shrugs.

“Doesn’t seem like a job for me,” he murmurs, and Seungcheol snorts.

“That’s what everyone under your level said,” Seungcheol stretches his limbs sitting on his leather chair, groaning as a few of his bones crack. Jeonghan stops reading the postcard to raise his eyes at him. “And that’s how the mission got to me.”

“For two humans?” a corner of Jeonghan’s lips goes up, mocking. Seungcheol shrugs, a similar smile on his face, but doesn’t say anything. “Right. I’m guessing Joshua is too busy for this one?”

“He isn’t. But I got direct orders to put my best man on this case, and you are my best,” Seungcheol drums his fingers on his wooden table twice, getting up from his seat to walk around it and stopping right by Jeonghan’s side. He reads the words on the postcard again, snorting. “I’ve heard you’re the sixth try.”

“For two humans,” Jeonghan says again, trying hard to believe what he hears.

“Yes, two humans,” Seungcheol claps him on his back twice, an attempt at a friendly smile on his face. “Report back to me every day, yeah? I’m actually curious about this one.”

Jeonghan looks down at his hands, reading the tiny letters again just to make sure he didn’t read them wrong and Seungcheol isn’t making fun of him. He reads the two names, the bold “Identity: Human” under both of them, and his gaze falls on the names one more time.

“Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan,” he whispers to himself, turning the postcard around. Jeonghan folds it in two before he shoves it deep in his pocket, moving the lollipop to his other cheek with his tongue. “I’ll let you know how it goes. Shouldn’t take me more than a few days to deal with humans.”

“If you say so,” Seungcheol smiles. “Have fun with them.”

“I’ll try.”

Jeonghan puts his pointer and middle finger to his forehead, saluting to Seungcheol with a click of his tongue before he turns around and reaches for the doorknob, leaving the office with light steps.

*

Don’t ask Jeonghan what he is, he doesn’t know either. 

He’s aware of others, the identities they hold, and who he deals best with. Humans are easy because they’re humans, but they rarely get to him precisely because they’re too easy. Fairies are annoying because they’re dramatic, and vampires are a pain in the ass because they’re too eternal, too brooding. He hates werewolves because they’re too big and emotionally inconvenient, and he hates sirens even more because they love pretending their thing is purely one-sided. Jeonghan knows best—it isn’t. And that just makes his job harder sometimes.

He does have favorites too. Sex demons with horny humans that are usually too horny to realize they’re not in love are easy to deal with. And also fun, because it’s always a game of who can manipulate the poor human better between him and the demon. That’s also what Jeonghan sees the most, because no one under his level would agree that they’re easy to deal with. Jeonghan almost expected Seungcheol to throw one of those cases in his lap when he got called into his office, but now Jeonghan has two humans to deal with. 

“Fuck’s sake,” he whispers inside the dimly lit elevator, running a rough hand down his oily face. “I should’ve said no.”

Here’s the thing: Jeonghan is too good at his job. That’s why he works directly under Seungcheol, who is probably, like, the third best at what these nameless creatures do. And Jeonghan is the best guy working under Seungcheol, which makes him one of the best overall. Which is why he rarely ever works with two humans. He isn’t needed for that.

He digs the postcard out of his pocket and instead of reading the names and identities again, Jeonghan focuses on the photos attached to them. Boo Seungkwan is… round. Cute. Maybe it’s just the photo, but overall Jeonghan would think he’s polite, pretty. Normal. Lee Chan is sharp where Boo Seungkwan is round. Eyes, cheeks. More handsome than pretty, but just as polite-looking. Equally normal. Nothing stands out to Jeonghan, nothing that would make him think they’re not entirely human, something that would justify being assigned to them.

“Maybe a powerful cupid’s job?” Jeonghan whispers, trying to figure out their issue. “But if that’s the case, someone under my level would’ve solved this…”

Jeonghan stares at their faces and clicks his tongue. He hears a ding!, the elevator announcing he has arrived on Earth, and shoves the postcard back in his pocket. He sighs when he steps out, crisp winter breeze hitting him square in the face and an influx of humans walking through his body. He follows the people walking to the left, and pushes the lollipop in his mouth to his other cheek, rolling his tongue over it.

He has broken up gods before. Two humans should be easy for him.

*

Jeonghan has a name, not an identity. Not an official one, at least. If someone really, really insisted on knowing what he is, he’d say the same thing every other creature that has come across one of them usually says:

He’s an anti-cupid. Of sorts. 

They don’t have dark wings, or gray complexion, or navy blue arrows that explode in thick, dark smoke and bring disgrace to a relationship. They’re not some type of evil twin, annoying little gremlins that go around shooting happy couples just to get more powerful. He doesn’t even have any instruments to do his job, just a few spells memorized in the back of his mind, the tip of his fingers, and a dream. 

Anti-cupids are just… there. A reminder that even good things must come to an end. Plus, if anything, they exist to bring balance to romance in the world and prevent shit like Twilight from happening in real life. Jeonghan knows very well how annoying it is when some old fuck of a vampire is convinced the love of their life is some random teenager that is easily impressionable and feels sexy at the prospect of being bitten. He should be considered a hero, not an “anti-cupid”.

Which brings Jeonghan here, a college campus of all things when he’s been to hell before for a mission. Students walk past him, through him as he stares at the gates, postcard folded in his pocket. Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan should be somewhere in there, a couple that, apparently, needs to break up. Jeonghan squints, trying to remember if there was anything in the tiny letters telling him why this couple should break up, but nothing comes up. He takes a step forward, deciding he doesn’t need to worry about that.

Jeonghan finds Boo Seungkwan first. Prettier in real life than he is in the photo, but infinitely more bored, less polite-looking. Jeonghan doesn’t see Lee Chan anywhere near him, which is already better than other insufferable human couples he’s seen before where they couldn’t be apart even for mundane stuff like attending classes. He looks around, trying to see if any of Seungkwan’s classmates look particularly interested in him, but Jeonghan finds nothing. 

He then finds Lee Chan in a completely different building. More handsome in real life as well, but unlike Seungkwan, he seems to be trying to pay attention to his class. And when Jeonghan looks around trying to find if anyone seems interested in this boy, something catches his attention. Because unlike in Boo Seungkwan’s class, there seems to be someone here who is interested in Lee Chan. 

That’s all Jeonghan needs to make his way through the front door, walking around students until he stops in front of one of them, a young man wearing thin framed glasses that steals glances in Lee Chan’s direction every now and then. Jeonghan touches his thumb to the boy’s forehead for a second, smiling at the confirmation that Lee Chan is on his mind, and takes a step back. Jeonghan scratches his chin, deciding how to go about this, but with a click of his tongue he decides the answer is easy.

Morals aren’t a thing Jeonghan cares about. Seungcheol kind of does, but that’s him personally, not a sentiment all of them share. And if this human couple was trouble for five different levels under Jeonghan, then he thinks choosing the infidelity route isn’t too big of a step for a first attempt at breaking them up. His hand reaches out to the boy’s forehead again, touching it with his pointer finger this time, and Jeonghan whispers an old spell he knows of. Courage, just a tiny amount of it, just enough for this boy to ask Lee Chan out on a date. 

The boy scratches his forehead, confused as to why it suddenly itches, but doesn’t do anything else. Jeonghan takes a step back and digs his fingers into his pocket to get the postcard again, reading the personality information on Lee Chan. Honest to a fault, it says, which means he’s also probably a loyal puppy. Jeonghan shoves the postcard back in his pocket and walks over to Lee Chan, pointer finger finding the perfect spot in the middle of the boy’s chest with a spell falling from his lips. Infatuation, just enough for Lee Chan to be shaken up by his admirer’s proposal to the point he’ll feel inclined to accept it even while he’s in a relationship.

Is it cruel to Boo Seungkwan? Yes, it is. Jeonghan doesn’t care about it though. He doesn’t know these people, and if these humans were annoying enough that this case had to go to Jeonghan’s hands, then they probably deserve this. Jeonghan walks to the front of the classroom, sitting on the professor’s desk while he waits until class is over to see if that boy will do something. When the old man dismisses the students, Jeonghan feels the corners of his lips going up as the boy walks over to Lee Chan’s desk. 

The boy seems to be pretty straightforward, which doesn’t match his appearance and what Jeonghan could gather of his personality when he touched his forehead and read his mind, but that’s what the spells are for. Jeonghan yawns, walking over to them to make sure he gets the dialogue right to reenact it for Seungcheol—he loves when Jeonghan does that—, but when he stops in front of them, he freezes.

“I’m so sorry, but I’m not interested,” Lee Chan politely shakes his head at the boy. Jeonghan raises his eyebrows, surprised. “I already have a boyfriend. I hope you understand.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah, of course,” the boy laughs. Jeonghan curses under his breath when he hears the sound of his spell breaking inside the boy’s skull. “Sorry for bothering you. It won’t happen again.”

It takes Jeonghan a few moments to process what just happened. Long enough for Lee Chan to pack his things and make his way out of the classroom, pulling his phone out of his bag. Jeonghan follows him like a shadow, intrigued and also irritated, watching what Lee Chan’s doing on his phone over his shoulder. And—yes, of course, he’s texting Boo Seungkwan. Asking if his class is over, where they should meet for lunch. It’s as if nothing happened. As if Jeonghan never put an infatuation spell in his heart to make him like that boy. 

Okay. Fine. Sure, there’s a reason why this is in his hands. Maybe using some of his less powerful spells didn’t work—whatever, he can think of something else. Having nothing better to do for now, Jeonghan follows Lee Chan until he stops in front of a packed dining hall, waving a hand until Boo Seungkwan does an embarrassing little jog to reach him.

“Hey,” Boo Seungkwan whispers, a little out of breath. Lee Chan pecks him on the lips, making him smile. “How was your morning?”

“Boring,” Lee Chan shrugs. As if a whole boy didn’t ask him out. Jeonghan frowns, flicking Lee Chan’s forehead as he whispers a reminder spell, and watches something light up in his eyes. “Oh. Well, a classmate asked me out, like, five minutes ago. Does that count as something?”

“It does,” Boo Seungkwan frowns. One of his hands curls around Lee Chan’s bicep, holding him close. “Who was it?”

Jeonghan is appalled. Boo Seungkwan isn’t even asking if his boyfriend said yes or no? Is he that certain Lee Chan wouldn’t accept it? Jeonghan is pretty sure he read something about jealousy in the postcard Seungcheol gave him, but where is said jealousy now? 

“Jeon Wonwoo, I think?” Lee Chan pouts, trying to remember, but he shrugs again. So uninterested. Bored. It was like nothing in his day. “Smart guy. Got his notes when I missed class once, but that’s it. He probably got the wrong idea.”

“Hmh,” Boo Seungkwan hums. “I’m walking you to your class next time.”

Lee Chan laughs, bright and oh-so-in-love. There’s sparkles in his eyes that almost make Jeonghan gag, but at this point he’s just—intrigued, offended? He isn’t sure anymore. Jeonghan still isn’t quite sure how his infatuation spell didn’t work at all, he hasn’t had the time to process or even react to everything else that happened after that.

“Please do,” Lee Chan whispers, snuggling up to Boo Seungkwan. More, somehow, because Jeonghan can tell they’re already pretty close. “Let’s go inside. And tell me how your day went.”

For the next day and a half, Jeonghan follows them around, adding irritable spells to their hearts to see if a small fight breaks out, but, to his surprise—and frankly disgust—it just ends up in bickering. Bickering-flirting, actually, that ends in some kissing, borderline making out. Fully intrigued and still irritated, Jeonghan follows them to Lee Chan’s class two days later just to see what Boo Seungkwan will do. 

When they both go into the classroom, Jeonghan holds his breath seeing the boy—Jeon Wonwoo, he’s learned—at his desk already. They walk past him as Lee Chan talks about something non stop, but Boo Seungkwan stops in his tracks with a practiced oh falling from his lips. He lets go of Lee Chan’s hand, turning to Jeon Wonwoo with a smile on his face. 

“Jeon Wonwoo-ssi, right?” Boo Seungkwan says. Jeon Wonwoo, while confused, nods. He steals a glance in Lee Chan’s direction, but Lee Chan himself looks just as confused. Jeonghan crosses his arms, watching as Boo Seungkwan holds out one of his hands. “Chanie’s told me about you. Nice to meet you.”

Jeonghan can’t help but burst out laughing when Jeon Wonwoo’s holds onto Boo Seungkwan’s hand, his lips closed in a thin line in an attempt to hide how hard Boo Seungkwan’s gripping him. He smiles, trying to be just as “polite”, and whispers a broken nice to meet you too that Jeonghan himself barely hears. Boo Seungkwan lets him go, walks up to his boyfriend to kiss him on the lips, and promises to pick him up after class again, not looking back at Jeon Wonwoo even once.

As soon as he leaves the classroom, Lee Chan looks at Jeon Wonwoo, shrugging.

“Sorry,” he says with a smile on his face. Almost as if he’s proud of what he saw. “I didn’t think he’d do all that.”

Jeonghan is still giggling when he digs the postcard out of his pocket, unfolding it and picking a pen out of thin air, uncapping it with his teeth. With a smile, he finds the bullet point under Boo Seungkwan’s name that says “jealous” and underlines it twice, folding the postcard again and shoving it back in his pocket.

*

Jeonghan taps two fingers on the calendar on the wall. January 13th, his fourth day on Earth trying to make Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan break up. He looks at the postcard in his hand once again, reading the information on Boo Seungkwan.

Birth date: January 16th, 1998.

Three days away from Boo Seungkwan’s birthday, Jeonghan has a new plan.

“You underestimated them. Put too weak of a spell in their hearts and nothing happens,” Seungcheol groans on the other end of the line. Jeonghan hums, running his tongue over his teeth, and holds the phone in between his ear and his shoulder, grabbing his pen and underlining the honest to a fault under Lee Chan’s name. “Did you hear it break?”

“Didn’t hear anything. Not even sure if I even put the spell there,” Jeonghan murmurs. “Probably didn’t. That’s the only explanation. Not thinking about that anymore, honestly. I have a new plan.”

Jeonghan hangs up the call a few minutes later, Seungcheol’s obnoxious laugh still ringing in his ears after he was done explaining his new idea. He gets out of the phone booth, watching it disappear before his eyes, and makes his way down the street. Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan don’t have any classes today, and Jeonghan heard them talking about spending the day under infinite layers of blankets watching TV shows together. 

Jeonghan almost feels bad knowing he’ll probably ruin their little date. Almost.

Not with the whole plan itself, but the beginnings of it. Humans are sensitive to Jeonghan’s magic—the longer he touches them, the worse it can be to their fragile bodies. And Jeonghan will probably need to touch Boo Seungkwan’s forehead for a little too long to make sure his plan will be successful.

The plan is quite simple, really. It’ll take more than his observation skills and a couple spells to make it work, sure, but the principle isn’t complicated. Boo Seungkwan’s birthday is nearing, he is a very sensitive person with a very sensitive boyfriend, and Jeonghan plans to take advantage of that. If one poor Jeon Wonwoo couldn’t help Jeonghan complete his mission, then something that will happen exclusively in between the couple probably will. No, it definitely will.

Jeonghan climbs the stairs of the small building, easily finding Boo Seungkwan’s apartment. He doesn’t knock because he doesn’t need that, walking through the front door to find Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan exactly where he expected them to be: under layers of blankets, cuddling in front of the TV, pointing at the screen and snickering as they talk shit about one of the characters of the drama they’re watching. Not sickeningly in love at a first glance, but loud enough with their small gestures that it sort of helps Jeonghan understand why someone would want to break them up.

Jeonghan doesn’t waste time with observations because he’s done that enough for the past few days. He crouches down in front of Boo Seungkwan, the boy’s eyes watching the screen, his thumb stroking the skin of Lee Chan’s arm gently; Jeonghan makes a face and holds his breath, reaching out with his thumb to touch Boo Seungkwan’s forehead. Unlike with Jeon Wonwoo, Jeonghan doesn’t pull back almost immediately, satisfied with what he sees at the forefront of his thoughts. He needs to dig a little deeper, touch his forehead for a little longer.

Jeonghan finds infinite memories of Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan together. And these— these are sickeningly in love, almost annoying to see. Jeonghan scrunches up his nose, pressing his thumb a little harder, watching the smile disappear from Boo Seungkwan’s face as discomfort surely settles in his guts. Jeonghan curses under his breath, years of information on Boo Seungkwan coming to him at the blink of an eye, countless moments with Lee Chan by his side. He finds out what Boo Seungkwan dislikes, but Lee Chan is aware of every single one of these things; Jeonghan digs deeper, finding an ankle injury that bothers Boo Seungkwan to this day. He sees a younger version of the couple somewhere deep in the boy’s memories and finally pulls back, clearing his throat. 

Boo Seungkwan is pale. His mouth is twisted in discomfort, and his hand holds Lee Chan’s arm a little tighter. 

Jeonghan gets up and walks to Boo Seungkwan’s room, going through his things in silence. He walks back to the living room, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth repeatedly to make the sound similar to a clock ticking, and smiles at the shoe rack he sees by the door.

“Chan-ah, I think I need to throw up.”

Hearing Boo Seungkwan’s voice makes Jeonghan turn around with an eyebrow raised. Lee Chan gets up on his feet quickly, pulling Boo Seungkwan up with him, and helps him walk to the bathroom. Jeonghan hears Boo Seungkwan vomiting before he finds the boy kneeling with his face down the toilet, the sound too loud in the tiny apartment, and Jeonghan watches him with mild disgust. Lee Chan, for some reason, is kneeling right next to his boyfriend and carding his fingers through his hair, supporting him. Jeonghan, always an opportunist, walks closer and touches his pointer finger to Lee Chan’s chest. Unattractiveness, because no one looks good puking their guts out, not even his beloved Boo Seungkwan.

“You look like shit,” Lee Chan whispers when the apartment is silent again, and giggles at Boo Seungkwan’s weak attempt at punching his chest. “Was it something you ate?”

“Don’t know,” Boo Seungkwan’s voice is weak. His forehead is resting on the toilet, his breathing is labored. Jeonghan hears the sound of the spell he casted breaking inside Lee Chan’s chest. “I don’t know where that came from. Fuck, sorry, we didn’t even pause the show.”

“I don’t care about the show,” Lee Chan whispers, fingers in Boo Seungkwan’s hair. “Brush your teeth. You probably need a nap after that.”

It’s the small gestures, Jeonghan thinks as he watches them. It’s sickeningly in love in a subtle way, which makes him realize why it was probably so hard for everyone else under him to break them up, and why his first attempt was unsuccessful. Lee Chan is caring, and Boo Seungkwan lets himself be taken care of. Lee Chan is there as Boo Seungkwan brushes his teeth, and he’s there to help his boyfriend walk back to the living room—Boo Seungkwan insists they can keep watching the show, even though there’s explicit concern in Lee Chan’s eyes. Jeonghan hears the uncomfortable rumble of Boo Seungkwan’s stomach when they settle under the blankets again, and clicks his tongue, annoyed.

They’re going to break up soon anyway. Jeonghan should let them enjoy these last few days together. He crouches down in front of Boo Seungkwan again, and because he’s not a monster, Jeonghan touches the boy’s stomach with a pointer finger. Wellness. 

Boo Seungkwan sighs.

“I think that was a one-time thing,” he whispers. Lee Chan holds him closer, dropping a kiss on his temple. “I feel a lot better already.”

Jeonghan makes a face as he leaves the apartment. Only three more days.

*

Lee Chan finds the perfect excuse to be alone two days before Boo Seungkwan’s birthday. And naturally, Jeonghan follows him.

Jeonghan didn’t have to dig into the boy’s mind to know where he’s headed because it’s expected that, two days before his boyfriend’s birthday, he’s going to buy him a gift. And Jeonghan is right, smiling to himself when Lee Chan takes a turn and walks a little faster to get to the mall. 

After yesterday’s step of his plan, and also thinking of the next step, Jeonghan resorted to observing again instead of going into Lee Chan’s mind. He is quite talkative, Jeonghan found out. Whenever Boo Seungkwan wasn’t around, he would tell his friends about how he’s been saving up money for some time to buy his boyfriend a nice gift, and it’s almost adorable to see him this excited over something so mundane. Almost, because Jeonghan isn’t here to call them adorable; he’s here to make sure this will be the last gift they ever exchange. 

With how talkative Lee Chan is, Jeonghan quickly found out at least the outline of his plans. Go to the mall, find Boo Seungkwan a nice gift, wait for his birthday. Simple. And Jeonghan is glad it’s this simple, because it makes his life a lot easier too. While his spells might break—or not even work at all—inside Lee Chan, Jeonghan knows one of his abilities has never failed him.

When Lee Chan stops in front of a clothing store with crossed arms, Jeonghan walks up behind him, touching the tip of his middle finger to the back of his neck.

“I should get him shoes,” Jeonghan whispers, pulling his finger back. 

It takes, what, three seconds? for Lee Chan to raise his pointer finger in the air, wiggling it as he thinks. Jeonghan laughs at this—open mouthed and loud—thinking of how funny it is that humans are so simple yet think of themselves as this superior species. Lee Chan turns around, mouth slightly open as a thought travels from the back of his head to the tip of his tongue.

“I should get him shoes,” Lee Chan says more to himself than anything, and Jeonghan laughs again.

“I wonder where that came from,” he whispers, following Lee Chan as he makes his way to a different store in the mall.

Jeonghan can’t see a future where this plan doesn’t work. The infidelity plan was a quick measure for a problem he thought would be quick to solve, but his postcard clearly didn’t give him enough information on the couple. After he read Boo Seungkwan’s mind, he can say he understands—these guys are a little different, have been together a little longer, and love each other a little more than the average human couple does. Now that he’s putting in a little more effort, Jeonghan knows he’ll be successful. 

Lee Chan walks into a shoe store, talks to a salesperson. He uses his hands a lot, going on a tangent about Boo Seungkwan and how much his boyfriend means to him, and while the lady smiles at everything he says, Jeonghan reaches out with his middle finger. Touching the back of Lee Chan’s head, he whispers:

“I should get him high top sneakers.”

Jeonghan watches attentively as Lee Chan cuts himself off in the middle of a sentence. His eyes are sparkly when he tells the saleswoman he’s thinking of getting high top sneakers, going a whole other tangent about Boo Seungkwan’s old ankle injury. She can probably tell it’s going to be easy to sell him something and get her deserved commission out of this, so she’s more than happy to help him.

Jeonghan stops by Lee Chan’s side as he’s paying for his purchase. Nice and expensive high stop sneakers, definitely more than he can afford, but he loves his Seungkwanie hyung too much to care about that. Jeonghan clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, his own made up ticking clock again, watching as the saleswoman puts the sneakers inside a fancy bag with a fancy brand logo.

Lee Chan is entirely too happy as he walks out of the store with the gift in his hands. Jeonghan wonders if his mind manipulation works this well on humans, or if Lee Chan just got too excited to realize the mistake he’s about to make.

*

January 16th is a cloudy day.

Which is perfect, Jeonghan thinks as he sips on chamomile tea he got from a magical coffee shop tucked into a corner around the annoying couple’s college campus. It’s a boring monday for a lot of people in this big, cold city, and Boo Seungkwan himself doesn’t give the date this much attention. It’s just another day where he has to attend classes. 

His dutiful boyfriend Lee Chan doesn’t agree. 

After a week of observing them, Jeonghan finally sees the annoying behavior he expected from them at first when Seungcheol gave him this mission. Lee Chan skips a few of his morning classes to be with Boo Seungkwan for as long as he can. Lee Chan declines another friend’s invitation to have lunch with them saying he wants to spend time with his boyfriend, since it’s his birthday. They eat alone too, acting as if it’s a date in a fancy restaurant, and not a daily task they’re completing in a crowded dining hall. Lee Chan does attend the one class he has in the afternoon, but as soon as his professor dismisses them, he bolts out of campus to meet his boyfriend and a few of their mutual friends in a cozy coffee shop.

The humans’ conversation is boring. Most of the time, at least—they have some funny friends, Jeonghan will give them that, but he spends most of his time inside the coffee shop stifling yawns that make his eyes watery. Lee Chan buys a cupcake, much to Boo Seungkwan’s embarrassment, and they try not to be too loud as they sing him happy birthday. Trying to make time go by faster, Jeonghan thinks of which of the friends will take either Boo Seungkwan’s or Lee Chan’s side when they break up after today.

Jeonghan groans when they leave, stretching his back. He follows Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan out of the coffee shop like a shadow, rolling his eyes as they hold hands, rocking them back and forth. 

“Thank you,” Boo Seungkwan whispers after a few beats of silence, their laughter still echoing in Jeonghan’s ears. “For today. You didn’t have to do all that.”

“I wanted to,” Lee Chan replies, a sincere whisper. Jeonghan looks down at their hands, not missing the gentle squeeze they share. “And don’t say that. You deserve to be loved on your birthday.”

“You skipped class,” Boo Seungkwan deadpans. 

“I’d skip class every day to be with you if I could,” Lee Chan says, and laughs when Boo Seungkwan fake gags at his words. “But I’m not done. The day still isn’t over! I have something else for you.”

“Oh?” Boo Seungkwan wiggles his eyebrows, stepping closer to Lee Chan and holding his boyfriend’s arm with his free hand. “What else do you have for me? I did notice your hand squeezing my thigh earlier, you know.”

“Well, it’s—it can be that too, but—that’s not it,” Lee Chan stammers through his words and Boo Seungkwan laughs, stopping for a second to kiss his cheek with a loud smack. “You’ll see! Soon! Promise!”

Jeonghan walks into Lee Chan’s apartment with them. They’re kissing, giggling into each other’s mouths, and while Jeonghan never shared the sentiment of his species of finding love disgusting, watching them does make him a little sick. Probably. It’s something uncomfortable twisting in his stomach, so it’s probably that. Jeonghan watches Lee Chan pulling away, albeit a little reluctantly, and clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

Tick. 

“Okay. Okay—we’re home now, I can say it. I got you a gift.”

Tock. 

“A gift?” Boo Seungkwan raises his eyebrows, surprised. He jumps a little, clearly excited, and waves a hand around. “Well, where is it? Show me.”

Jeonghan keeps clicking his tongue, time ticking away. He doesn’t get powerful when he makes couples break up. He gets nothing more than the sick satisfaction of watching a fight break out, watching tears spill out, hearing insults coming out from lips that have professed love before. Jeonghan wants nothing more than to take that elevator back to his world and waltz into Seungcheol’s office to reenact what he’s about to witness. Five levels under him might have gotten nowhere, but Jeonghan is above all of them for a reason.

Lee Chan disappears into his room and comes back with the fancy brand bag in hand. Boo Seungkwan’s eyes widen immediately, eyebrows disappearing under his long bangs, a curse falling from his lips. Tick, tock. Lee Chan puts the bag in Boo Seungkwan’s hand as if his heart isn’t about to burst out of his chest with how nervous he’s feeling, and laughs.

“Happy birthday,” he says, a hint of nerves in his tone.

“Are you insane?” Boo Seungkwan asks, fingers tightening around the bag for a moment. Lee Chan laughs harder. “Are you—Chan, are you actually, like, actually insane?”

“Just open it! Please.”

Boo Seungkwan seems to remember where he is and what he’s supposed to do. His shaky fingers dig inside the bag, the heavy shoebox in his hand making him laugh a little too loud. Lee Chan rubs his hands together, watching, so, so nervous. Tick, tock. Jeonghan is walking in circles around them, getting every angle, writing down every word they share in the back of his mind. 

When Seungkwan is about to open the shoebox, Jeonghan reaches out with his pointer finger, touching it to the boy’s chest. Disappointment, just a little, just enough to spice things up. He walks over to Lee Chan and casts the same spell in the same place. Just enough to make sure he’ll see it—the fight, the tears, the harsh words. Tick, tock.

Boo Seungkwan opens the shoebox. Sees what’s inside. His shoulders sag, his smile falters.

“Oh.”

Jeonghan snorts, hiding his laugh behind a hand. He needs to hear every word, remember every second of this. He hopes Joshua is around too when he goes into Seungcheol’s office to tell him about how his mission ends, because he knows this is about to be good. 

“Oh, Chan,” Boo Seungkwan tries to smile. No, he forces himself to smile, and it’s so obvious Jeonghan cringes. He looks at Lee Chan, watching the exact moment his own smile falters. “These are gorgeous.”

“You don’t like it.”

“No,” Boo Seungkwan shakes his head almost immediately, trying to save face. “No, what? No, of course I like them! I’m just… How expensive were they? How did you even manage to buy this, I—”

“You don’t like it,” Lee Chan says again, more firmly. Jeonghan puffs his cheeks, almost embarrassed to witness this. “Stop lying. I know you. You don’t like my gift.”

“No, I—”

“Kwan-ah.”

Boo Seungkwan’s hold on the shoebox tightens. His lips tremble, words threatening to come out before he can string them together into a coherent sentence. Jeonghan watches them like a tennis match, nibbling at the tip of his thumb with his teeth, a smile making his cheeks warm. Then, with a sigh, Boo Seungkwan throws one free hand in the air.

“I just—have you ever seen me wear high top sneakers?”

“Oh,” Lee Chan blinks, surprised at the easy admission. He furrows his brows, and Jeonghan runs his tongue over his teeth, excited. “Shit, I was hoping you’d lie to make me feel better about this. You really don’t like it.”

Jeonghan expected Boo Seungkwan to lie too, if he’s being honest. He wonders if the spell he casted was stronger than he intended, but he doesn’t care about that now. He only cares about the fact that it’s working. His plan is working. He smells thick disappointment in the air, hears their blood heating up and tears making their way up their tear ducts slowly.

“You’ve known me for most of your life and you still bought me something you know I don’t wear?” Boo Seungkwan says, and even Jeonghan raises his eyebrows at that one. The sound of his spell expanding in both of their chests forces a surprised cackle out of Jeonghan’s mouth. “I thought you knew my taste. I thought you knew me.”

“You know what I do know? I know that I was there to help you up after you hurt your ankle,” Lee Chan counters, getting Jeonghan’s attention now. “I know I was there to help you ice it, and I still help you with that when you whine about it hurting again. Sorry for thinking of giving your ankle some support with the gift I bought, did Your Majesty not like it?”

“Fuck off with that, Lee Chan,” Boo Seungkwan walks past Jeonghan to place both the bag and the shoebox on the couch, only to walk closer to Lee Chan and point a finger in his direction. “I’m not saying I don’t appreciate what you’ve done for me, don’t put words in my mouth, it’s just—”

“It does feel like that, though!” Lee Chan doesn’t let his boyfriend finish his sentence. His voice sounds deeper, thick with disappointment, and the sound of tears flowing gets louder to Jeonghan’s trained ears. “I put so much—I know it’s an expensive gift, but I put thought and love into picking that, and you…”

“Okay, fine, fuck, I’m sorry!” Boo Seungkwan shakes both fists in the air. He swallows hard, and Jeonghan smiles when the first thick tear runs down his cheek. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m going to wear it. I don’t want to fight you after the day we had. Sorry.”

“Yeah,” Lee Chan nods. Shakes his head a little, but still nods. It doesn’t look sincere, but it matches the fact that Boo Seungkwan wasn’t sincere either. “Sorry too. I guess I could’ve thought a little more about what to give you.”

Jeonghan’s spells expand once again. He squints, humming. He wanted— expected a break up today, right now. Maybe years of a solid, loving relationship wouldn’t end in a matter of minutes on a special day like this. And, again, there were five tries before Jeonghan put his hands on those two. At least, he thinks, his spells didn’t break at a pathetic speed. They’re growing, expanding. They’re doing what Jeonghan needs them to do.

“I think,” Boo Seungkwan starts, voice choked up. “I think I’m going home. If that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Lee Chan nods. “It’s fine. We’ll see each other tomorrow, yeah? We’ll sleep this off, and we’ll be fine.”

“Ooh,” Jeonghan sucks in a breath through his teeth. “Wrong choice of words. That just means you won’t be fine, stupid boy.”

“Yeah,” Boo Seungkwan agrees. Jeonghan wishes they could hear and see him right now, but even with his invisible presence, these two can probably already feel this fight growing roots in their hearts. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jeonghan claps his hands together in excitement when they don’t kiss each other goodbye. He clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth, his own, personal clock ticking away again, slower this time. He got the timing wrong. For now. He has to admit it—he now knows why Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan are so tough, but tough isn’t impossible, and Jeonghan is one of the best for a reason.

He walks up to Lee Chan, touching one of his fingers to the boy’s cheek, collecting some of the tears that spill out of his eyes now that he’s alone in his apartment. Jeonghan giggles to himself, walking through the front door to find Boo Seungkwan about to take the elevator, his face already wet with tears as well. 

With the same finger he touched Lee Chan’s face, Jeonghan touches Boo Seungkwan’s cheek, collecting the tears on his finger.

“Good job, Jeonghan-ah,” he whispers to no one, watching as Lee Chan’s and Boo Seungkwan’s tears mix together on his nail bed, turning into a dark purple color, almost black. He smiles, looking down at Boo Seungkwan’s teary eyes. “Good job.”

*

A week after Boo Seungkwan’s birthday, Jeonghan still hasn’t heard his spells break. They grow heavier, stronger, making everything else around it more fragile. Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan don’t talk as much and don’t go out of their way to meet each other outside of their classes. And when they do meet each other, it’s for lunch with their mutual friends, somewhere where they can—and should—avoid talking about the elephant in the room.

It’s progress. But slow, so slow. Jeonghan wishes it could be faster.

He’s doing what he can while he waits for the break up to happen. Jeonghan forces Boo Seungkwan to put his phone down when he thinks of texting Lee Chan, and touches the back of Lee Chan’s head with his middle finger to make him think about something else that isn’t Boo Seungkwan. It’s hard work, especially now that they’re not glued to each other most of the time and he needs to go back and forth between them, but Jeonghan is willing to put in the hard work after what he managed to start on Boo Seungkwan’s birthday.

Jeonghan is sitting down with Boo Seungkwan, Lee Chan and a mutual friend of theirs he remembers seeing at that coffee shop when his plan makes unexpected progress. 

“When are you two planning to tell me why you’re fighting?” the friend asks casually, addressing the elephant in the room on the last day of January. Jeonghan snorts, happy to be sitting with them because it’s easier to watch all of their faces like this. “Everyone else already noticed, by the way, but I feel like I have some privileges with you two, so I’m asking.”

“I was expecting Mingyu hyung to be nosy, not you, Chwe Hansol,” Boo Seungkwan says through his teeth. Chwe Hansol shrugs, unbothered. “You have no privileges here.”

“He didn’t like the birthday gift I gave him,” Lee Chan blurts out, peacefully eating his food. Chwe Hansol’s—impressively thick—eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. Boo Seungkwan heaves out a long sigh. “The gift I picked with love and care.”

“High top sneakers,” Boo Seungkwan says, his overly sweet voice dripping with sarcasm. Chwe Hansol’s face contorts into something Jeonghan can’t quite read, but Seungkwan nods as if he understands perfectly. “Yeah, exactly.”

“Yah, Chan-ah, high top? Have you ever seen him wear those?” Chwe Hansol adds and Boo Seungkwan slams both hands down on the table, an almost manic cackle escaping his lips.

“I fucking know, right?!” Boo Seungkwan says. Jeonghan makes a face at this, hearing the exact moment the spell expands inside Lee Chan’s chest. “You’d think my boyfriend of over five years would know that. I think I should pick a gift he’ll hate too, just so he knows how it feels.”

“Why the fuck are you being an ass about this again?” Lee Chan bites back, dropping his chopsticks on his food tray. The expression on Chwe Hansol’s face shifts to something more careful, as if he’s finally assessing how bad the fight is. “You said you’d wear it—were you lying, or what?”

“You did say you were hoping I’d lie to make you feel better,” Boo Seungkwan mumbles. Jeonghan looks at Lee Chan’s face, hears the flow of tears crawling their way to his eyes. “I did what you asked me.”

Well, shit. That’s mean, and even Jeonghan, who is actively hoping they’ll break up, can recognize that. He sees the exact moment Lee Chan’s eyes get wet with tears, and bites his lower lip at the screeching sound of the boy pulling his chair back. He picks his bag from the floor, throwing it over his shoulder hastily, hands shaky. Jeonghan almost feels bad for him.

“I hope your next fucking boyfriend buys you a gift you’ll like, then.”

Boo Seungkwan freezes in his chair. Chwe Hansol curses out loud, hands flying to his hair, eyes widening. Jeonghan himself gasps—he didn’t expect that now, what the hell. He watches, frozen in shock, as Lee Chan storms out of the dining hall. Boo Seungkwan still hasn’t moved, Jeonghan hasn’t either, watching him, and Chwe Hansol finally says something.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. I think I shouldn’t have asked…”

“He…” Boo Seungkwan manages to say, voice thick. Jeonghan hears the boy’s stomach turning dangerously. “Did he just break up with me?”

Chwe Hansol doesn’t dare give him an answer. Jeonghan finally seems to snap back to reality, reaching out with one hand to touch his pointer finger to Chwe Hansol’s mouth to make him say something. Before he can reach him, however, Jeonghan hears that same screeching sound he heard before, except that, this time, Boo Seungkwan’s the one getting up from his seat. His eyes are wet with tears already, his hands are shaky. He trips over his own feet as he nearly runs out of the dining hall.

Jeonghan stays in his seat. Next to him, Chwe Hansol curses out again.

“Did I just make my two best friends break up?” he whispers to himself.

Jeonghan blinks. He stares ahead again, looking at the tall doors some distance away, and thinks of Lee Chan and Boo Seungkwan.

“No,” he says, although Chwe Hansol can’t hear him. “I did.”

*

Jeonghan follows Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan after what happened in the dining hall, but they don’t follow each other. They cry all by themselves, ignore Chwe Hansol’s calls for some time, but don't go after the other. Jeonghan wonders if he made Boo Seungkwan put his phone down so many times that it accidentally engraved a command in his brain to never try to contact Lee Chan again, because he doesn’t see why this boy can’t just call to fix things.  

Well. Whatever, it’s none of his business. 

His mission is over. He made Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan break up. 

Jeonghan ignores the weird feeling in his chest as he walks into the phone booth in the middle of a busy street, shaky fingers pressing 0-8-0-8. The phone rings three times before the call connects, Seungcheol’s grainy voice at the other end of the line making Jeonghan swallow hard around nothing.

“What’s the update on those two today? Another twenty four hours of ignoring each other’s existence?”

“No. It’s over,” Jeonghan whispers. The call goes quiet. “They broke up yesterday. I expected to see the elevator, but it never came, so. I called. Send it when you have time, if you’re busy.”

“Hmh,” Seungcheol hums. Jeonghan hears some clicking, pages turning, all the familiar sounds of Seungcheol doing his very important, very serious research. He waits, breath still inexplicably stuck in his throat, then hears a low chuckle. “No, they didn’t.”

Jeonghan blinks.

“What?”

“They didn’t break up,” Seungcheol says with a yawn. “I don’t see their names in the most-recent list. And under your name—it says you’re still on active duty, no mission accomplished. They didn’t break up.”

“Seungcheollie, I saw it in front of my eyes. Their best friend thinks it was his fault. They did break up,” Jeonghan’s voice goes a little higher, almost whiny. “Are you sure you checked the correct list?”

“I’m staring at it right now. No Boo Seungkwan slash Lee Chan here,” Seungcheol sounds almost amused now. He laughs, whistles, and Jeonghan hears him going back and forth in his chair. “They really are tough, huh?”

Jeonghan finally feels the air coming out of his lungs, almost sounding like a sigh. He touches a cold finger to his forehead, scratching the skin, and a startled chuckle escapes from his lips. Tough isn’t a strong enough word now, he thinks to himself, laughter bubbling up in his chest. 

“I’ll—check on them, I guess. Fuck,” he giggles. “Two humans. Two fucking humans.”

Lee Chan and Boo Seungkwan haven’t broken up. Despite the explicit words they used, despite Chwe Hansol’s concern, despite what Jeonghan himself thought had happened. Lee Chan and Boo Seungkwan are still together.

“I can’t stand them,” Jeonghan laughs louder this time. At the other end, Seungcheol giggles too. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Fuck, fuck these guys, no wonder it’s in my hands now.”

“Good luck,” Seungcheol laughs. “I’ll be waiting for your call.”

Jeonghan hangs up the phone, staring at the numbers in front of him. He steps out of the booth, watching it disappear into the air as a grin threatens to split his face in half.

*

It hasn’t happened officially, whatever. Jeonghan is now working with the fact that, at least, words about a break up have been said. They’re out there. Lee Chan is upset enough that he suggested Boo Seungkwan should get a new boyfriend that will buy him gifts he likes.

The beginning of February has Jeonghan digging the postcard out of his pocket after a while of not checking it, wrinkled lines reminding him of how long he’s been on Earth, how long he’s been trying. He reads the basic information on Lee Chan again confirming that, yes, his birthday is in a few days, which means things could get interesting again. He could use this to his advantage again. And then the elevator will appear in front of him, Jeonghan will go back to Seungcheol’s office, and maybe he’ll finally be able to tell Joshua about this chaotic mission.

Jeonghan doesn’t get to rest between the first day of February and the eleventh. He didn’t expect to be able to, though—Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan have been together for way too long, and they have friends that care not only about them individually, but about what they mean to each other. Which means as soon as Chwe Hansol spreads the news that “Chan and Seungkwan broke up right in front of me, man”, their friends are immediately trying to help them think this harsh decision through.

Some of them go to Boo Seungkwan, some others go to Lee Chan. Regardless, they all talk about it. Boo Seungkwan is sad, hasn’t stopped crying in days, sleeps in Lee Chan’s clothes because he misses him. Lee Chan is just as sad, cries himself to sleep every night, hasn’t given anyone a proper smile in days. The situation is—terrible, honestly. It’s so bad Jeonghan forgets he should be proud of himself because he caused this. He does follow everyone around though, just to keep himself updated on the whole thing.

Chwe Hansol is working extra hard on this case, too. He hears Lee Chan’s side: yeah, of course, I understand now. I shouldn’t have said that. You had good intentions, and I understand why you were upset that he didn’t like your gift. Then, he hears Boo Seungkwan’s side: yeah, I know why you’re upset, you didn’t feel seen. He could’ve thought about that too. 

Jeonghan almost touches the back of Chwe Hansol’s head with his middle finger to make him give both of his friends bad advice on this, but something stops him. Everything is just so bad already. Terrible even. There’s no way they’re going back together after this—Jeonghan decides to just let them be, decides to watch as Lee Chan’s birthday comes around and nothing happens and they break up for good. Because he knows they will. It’s just a matter of time. He’s sure he doesn’t need to interfere anymore.

Right now, Jeonghan has his eyes glued to the calendar in the phone booth, not really paying attention to what Seungcheol is telling him. He reads the date, February 9th, and suppresses a sigh. It’s been a month since this mission started and he’s frankly tired of it. He hopes after Lee Chan’s birthday those two humans break up for good and he can go back to his dimension for some time before he’s sent on a mission again. Lost in thoughts, he almost doesn’t hear it when Seungcheol’s voice calls his name.

“Jeonghan-ah.”

“Hmm?”

“Do you know Boo Seungkwan’s current location?” 

“Class, probably. It’s Thursday today,” Jeonghan frowns, blinking his distraction away. “Why?”

“I just checked it. He isn’t in class,” Seungcheol says. Jeonghan’s frown deepens, confused. How is that his problem? “Didn’t you say they fought because of a birthday gift?”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan says. He uncrosses his arms, looking around the booth. “Why are you bringing that up now?”

“I think Boo Seungkwan is about to buy Lee Chan a gift,” Seungcheol whispers. Jeonghan freezes for a second but doesn’t say anything. “You said you were keeping an eye on them, right?”

“I am,” Jeonghan says, almost whining. “I watch them every day. They cry every day. They’re miserable without each other.”

“Sure. But…” Seungcheol pauses, then sighs. Jeonghan can imagine the way he’s scratching the back of his head as he thinks, until he finally finishes his thought. “I’m not doubting your commitment to this or anything like that, but are you just watching them or are you doing everything in your power to make sure they’re really going to break up?”

“What kind of question is that?” Jeonghan laughs. More like it’s forced out of him, making him curl in on himself. “Did anyone under my level get even close to making them fight like that?”

“That’s not what I’m asking. It’s in their file—Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan have close friends, and they’ve been together since they were teenagers. These friends are bound to try to make them get back together,” Seungcheol says, matter-of-factly. Jeonghan closes his lips in a thin line. “So, again, are you doing everything in your power to make sure they’ll break up?”

Jeonghan knows the answer to that one. Knows it now, really, because Seungcheol helps him realize it.

“Yeah. Duh,” Jeonghan laughs again, curling in on himself even further. His knees go weak and he lets gravity pull him down, sitting on the steel flooring of the booth. “Of course. But you know them by now, they’re tough. I think I’ll close the coffin after Lee Chan’s birthday.”

“Right,” Seungcheol’s voice is rough. Jeonghan doesn’t dare breathe before he speaks again. “Keep me updated. And—I know they’re tough, but you’re missed around here. Finish this quickly, yeah?”

“Yuck,” Jeonghan sticks his tongue out, forcing himself to forget the rest of the conversation. Seungcheol laughs lightly on the other end. “I’ll try my best. And I miss you too.”

“I didn’t—Joshua misses you too, okay!” Seungcheol splutters.

“Hmm,” Jeonghan giggles. He tightens his grip on the phone for a second. “I’ll finish this quickly. See you in two days. Probably.”

Jeonghan stares at his hand for some time when he hangs up the call, fingers still around the phone. He lets it go, turning around and getting out of the booth. Jeonghan stops, takes a deep breath, and runs in the direction he knows where the mall is. He walks through people, hops on top of buses to get there faster, and when he finally arrives, it’s not hard to find Boo Seungkwan.

He looks terrible—with bags under his eyes, cheeks not as full as they used to be, messy hair. Still, Boo Seungkwan’s eyes are warm as he tries on a jean jacket, turning around in front of the mirror to make sure he gets every angle of how it fits him. It’s a nice jacket. Expensive too, when Jeonghan checks the price tag dangling from one of the sleeves. There’s only two days until Lee Chan’s birthday. And this is a jacket Lee Chan would like, if Jeonghan can correctly guess the boy’s taste in fashion by now.

Jeonghan reaches out with a hand, middle finger stretching out a little ahead of the others. He touches the back of Boo Seungkwan’s head, filling up his lungs with air to say the words that will make the boy change his mind about buying this. Lee Chan would like it. If Boo Seungkwan gives him a gift he likes at this point, Jeonghan’s plan might not work. 

He pulls back.

Jeonghan doesn’t need to interfere. His plan will work, he’s sure of it. 

He turns around and doesn’t stay to see Boo Seungkwan buying that jacket.

*

Jeonghan wants to go back to the place he’s been calling home for who knows how long. He misses Seungcheol’s office. He misses his best friends. He misses reenacting dramatic break ups he makes others go through. He misses putting his feet up on Seungcheol’s desk knowing he doesn’t like it, but he likes Jeonghan too much to scold him for it. 

But he’s not making an effort anymore. Seungcheol was right—Jeonghan isn’t doing everything in his power to make Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan break up.

February 11th is a snowy day. Jeonghan remembers the day he caught infinite glimpses of Boo Seungkwan’s life with Lee Chan in the boy’s memories, and knows how much they both like playing in the snow, especially when they’re together. But they aren’t talking to each other right now. 

Jeonghan decides to follow Boo Seungkwan for today.

It’s the smartest idea because Chwe Hansol is constantly giving live Lee Chan updates to Boo Seungkwan, and since it’s the boy’s birthday, it’s easier for Jeonghan to guess what he’s doing. But Boo Seungkwan is a nervous wreck today, pacing around his apartment trying to figure out what he’s going to say to Lee Chan. He has a plan to find a way to talk to him privately at least. Jeonghan feels like he should stop Boo Seungkwan from going ahead with his plan, but he can’t find it in him to do that.

Jeonghan checks the postcard often as well, reading the information he has on Lee Chan to see if Boo Seungkwan’s planned apology will be enough. The bent lines on the paper remind him once again of how long he’s been on Earth, and he ignores the voice in the back of his head telling him he should try a little harder. A middle finger to Boo Seungkwan’s nape and he can solve this problem and go back home. Jeonghan folds the postcard again and shoves it back in his pocket.

The end of the day approaches quickly. Chwe Hansol texts Boo Seungkwan saying Lee Chan is going home now after spending some time with his family and a few of his close friends who insisted on seeing him. Boo Seungkwan himself scrambles to get ready to leave his apartment, checking his reflection in the mirror to make sure he doesn’t look as bad as he did the past few days. He almost forgets the fancy bag with his expensive gift inside, and Jeonghan has to stop himself from tapping the boy’s forehead to help him remember. 

The walk to Lee Chan’s apartment is cold and cruel. Boo Seungkwan bites into his lower lip, picks on his cuticles, taps his left foot on the floor when he sits down in the train. Jeonghan has to restrain himself an embarrassing amount of times from reaching out with a finger to put a calm spell in Boo Seungkwan’s heart, Seungcheol’s voice echoing in his head as a reminder that he should be trying harder, and not helping. Jeonghan lets a curse fall out from his lips, rubbing his eyes. He doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore.

And to pretend he’s still doing something valuable, Jeonghan tries to come up with things he could do to make their situation worse. He could find a way to make them fight again, put a different negative spell in Lee Chan’s heart to make him dislike the gift, and work a little harder to put words in their mouths they probably wouldn’t say normally. Jeonghan could do all that. He really could.

Jeonghan looks down at his feet when Boo Seungkwan rings the doorbell to Lee Chan’s apartment. He thinks twice before going in when Lee Chan opens the door, but that’s because Lee Chan himself thinks twice before letting Boo Seungkwan in. The thick silence is crawling in his skin, and it’s not a comfortable situation by any means, but normally, Jeonghan would rejoice seeing how bad things really are. Right now though, he isn’t all that into it.

“I, um,” Boo Seungkwan starts, clearing his throat awkwardly. He doesn’t make a show of hiding Lee Chan’s gift behind his body, and he knows Lee Chan is watching, but unlike in some of the countless plans he came up with, he doesn’t start everything by shoving the bag in his boyfriend’s chest. “I’m sorry. For—all that. For disregarding the love you put into that gift. For acting like a spoiled asshole when we could’ve just talked about it. For everything, really.”

Lee Chan doesn’t say anything for a while. Boo Seungkwan starts squirming under his gaze, nervous about how badly this could go. Jeonghan wants to put a finger to his nape to assure him Lee Chan couldn’t hate him even if he tried, but that’s helping, and Jeonghan chose not to interfere at all. So he watches them, holding his breath when Lee Chan finally moves, shifting his weight from on foot to another.

“I’m sorry too,” he whispers. Boo Seungkwan freezes, bag crinkling in his tight hold. “I guess—I don’t know, the idea came to me and I didn’t think much of how you’d feel about it. I just thought you’d understand my intentions.”

“I didn’t, but I do now,” Boo Seungkwan says, almost desperate to make Lee Chan understand him. “And I love it. I love you, and I understand I made you upset, but I don’t want to lose you over something like this.”

Jeonghan sighs in relief when he sees a smile on Lee Chan’s face. It’s a small thing, but just like every other small gesture shared between those two, Jeonghan can see the sickening love in it. Boo Seungkwan must see it too, because the worried expression on his face gives way to something a lot less tense. And finally, when Lee Chan opens his arms as an invitation, Boo Seungkwan hugs him so tightly they almost fall to the ground. The sound of Jeonghan’s month old spells shattering into pieces inside their hearts is almost as loud as their happy giggles.

“You wouldn’t lose me over something like this,” Lee Chan whispers, dropping a kiss on Boo Seungkwan’s temple.

“Reword that.”

“Okay,” Lee Chan giggles. “You wouldn’t lose me. Ever. Better?”

“Yes,” Boo Seungkwan sighs in relief. “I love you. And I’m sorry again.”

“I love you too,” Jeonghan watches the way Lee Chan holds his boyfriend a little tighter, one hand slowly traveling down Boo Seungkwan’s arm to touch the bag strap he’s holding. “When do you plan on giving me that?”

“Oh, sh—I actually forgot,” Boo Seungkwan takes a step back with a laugh, and misses the way Lee Chan watches him fondly. “Happy birthday! And, um, I bought you something. And it was more expensive than your gift, by the way. Not making it a competition, but…”

“You’re taking boyfriend of the year, don’t worry,” Lee Chan laughs more openly now, and Jeonghan can tell they’re letting go of the tension slowly. It should irk him. It should irritate him, make him curse, but Jeonghan only looks away. “Let me see that.”

Jeonghan has seen the jacket, he doesn’t need to see it again. And he’s a creature whose sole existence is to make others fall out of love, not watch them be disgustingly in love. When Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan forget about the gift, and the birthday, and momentarily put aside their past month of tense silence to make out on the couch, Jeonghan decides it’s time to go. 

Out in the streets of a snowy Seoul, Jeonghan sighs deeply.

Back to square one.

*

“It’s taking you too long to complete the mission, so I’m supposed to send you help as soon as possible. Wait by the train station tomorrow around noon.”

Jeonghan is whispering Seungcheol’s words to himself as he’s sitting down on the curb, ignoring cars and pedestrians walking by him. It’s not surprising to him that he got that call a day after Lee Chan’s birthday, but he is surprised that help didn’t come earlier. Seungcheol sounded bored, like he was reading those words off a script. At least it wasn’t that tone he’d used to ask Jeonghan if he was trying his best at making Lee Chan and Boo Seungkwan break up.

He hears the familiar ding! of the elevator somewhere behind him, but doesn’t dare turn around to check who came down to Earth to help with his mission. If Jeonghan is the best under Seungcheol, then he wouldn’t send anyone under his level—he would send someone on the same level as him. And he can only think of one option.

“Hey, Joshuji,” Jeonghan whispers, picking at his cuticles. “Took you long enough.”

“Who said anything about Joshua coming?”

The voice Jeonghan hears makes him turn around so fast he hears a few of his bones crack. Then his eyebrows go up his forehead in surprise, because while he hears one voice only, he sees two familiar faces.

“Just kidding, we both came,” Seungcheol says with a smile, Joshua walking over to Jeonghan to sit down next to him. “Well, I wasn’t supposed to come, but…”

“He was curious about the humans that are giving you trouble,” Joshua says with a sigh, sitting down. “And we missed you.”

“One whole month is way too long for you to take care of humans,” Seungcheol explains, sitting down next to Jeonghan as well. “So? What do you have for us?”

It takes a few seconds for Jeonghan to recompose himself—he smiles, a few giggles escaping his lips, and with the weight of one of Joshua’s hands patting the back of his head and one of Seungcheol’s arms around his shoulders, he starts from the very beginning. His ridiculous first attempt at breaking Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan up, the countless little spells he put in their hearts trying to turn those into a bigger fight, and finally his last attempt that almost worked.

“I don’t know what could make them fight like that again in such a short amount of time,” Jeonghan scratches the back of his head. “Did you two get a postcard with their information?”

“I did,” Joshua pulls his postcard out of thin air, shaking it in between pointer and middle finger, only to make it disappear again. “You said you started your mission by trying to make Lee Chan cheat. Have you tried the other way around?”

“Um, no,” Jeonghan laughs, a little nervous. He stops, then laughs again, and Joshua raises an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’ll work after the fight they had. I really, really think they got, like, infinitely worse after that.”

“We won’t know until we try,” Joshua sighs as he gets up from the curb, extending a hand to both Seungcheol and Jeonghan. Seungcheol takes it first, but Jeonghan stares at it for some time before he does too. “You know them better than we do at this point. What do you think they’ll be doing right now?”

*

Jeonghan sees himself in Joshua in a way. They don’t waste time on their mission, they don’t think twice before using methods some would consider unethical, and they have very low tolerance for humans. Which means as soon as Jeonghan takes Joshua to Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan, he immediately takes action by using the exact same spells Jeonghan used on his first attempt to break them up. Except that, instead of going for a classmate like Jeonghan did, Joshua goes straight for a friend’s heart. 

“They know each other. Easier for the Infatuation spell to work,” Joshua whispers as he casts the spell in Boo Seungkwan’s heart. Kim Mingyu, the poor victim this time, is sitting across from him and Lee Chan. Jeonghan hums, avoiding looking at them. “It might just take a little lon—”

Before he can finish his sentence, though, Jeonghan hears the familiar sound of a spell breaking. Two spells, actually—the one Joshua used on Kim Mingyu, and the one he used on Boo Seungkwan. Conversation on the table keeps going as if nothing ever happened. Joshua frowns at all three of them, and Jeonghan tries to hide his smile.

“Do we have information on this Kim Mingyu guy?” he asks, voice barely a whisper.

“We could have,” Seungcheol crosses his arm. “I guess since the mission is taking longer than usual to complete, we could get information about their friends to see who could help us.”

“Yeah,” Joshua squints at the boy. Kim Mingyu smiles as Boo Seungkwan tells their friends a story, seemingly unaffected by the spell Joshua casted in his heart. “We should do that. It’s not every day that an infidelity plan doesn’t work on humans.”

They leave campus, following Seungcheol to a phone booth and watching him from outside as he talks to someone on the phone, writing down all the information whoever is on the other end of the line is giving him. Jeonghan is watching him in silence, but when he looks at Joshua, he realizes he’s being stared at.

“You don’t seem as irritated as you usually get when your plans don’t work out,” Joshua says. There’s a small smile on his face that makes it sound like an accusation, and it probably is, but Jeonghan only smiles back. “Funny.”

“I’ve been here for a month. I knew that wasn’t going to work,” Jeonghan explains, but it’s half a lie. He got scared for a second that using one of their best friends would make this infidelity plan work, but relief—and amusement—came to him quickly at the sound of the spells breaking. “These guys are tough. I saw them talking about breaking up and they were still together.”

“Right,” Joshua still has a vaguely threatening smile on his face. “We’ll see about that. Surely the three of us working together will result in something.”

Seungcheol comes back with two pages of information on Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan’s friends. Jeonghan tells them about the ones he sees more frequently, and when Joshua points at Lee Seokmin on the list, he immediately shuts his friend down—whatever idea he has to make Lee Seokmin help them probably wouldn’t work anyway. That vaguely threatening smile is back on Joshua’s face, and Seungcheol can tell things are a bit tense so he suggests they could sit down in a coffee shop to organize their ideas better. 

It’s not that Jeonghan doesn’t want them to succeed—although that might be something Jeonghan needs to reflect on—but every idea his friends come up with just sounds like it won’t work. Or he’s sure it won’t work because it’s something he’s tried before, and he knows it’ll be a waste of time and sometimes resources. When Joshua suggests they should work with circumstances instead of a well-crafted plan, Jeonghan just shrugs. It could work. It probably won’t, but he sees why they could try doing that. 

And so they spend the rest of the week following Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan around. Seungcheol tries an unattractive spell when Joshua forces a cold into Lee Chan’s immune system, but it doesn’t work, of course. It only makes Boo Seungkwan stay by his side for a little longer, if anything.

They try a quick infidelity plan when the couple and their friends go out on the weekend and an attractive person hits on Lee Chan in the club, making him look at them for a little too long. It works well with Boo Seungkwan’s jealous nature for a minute or two, but Seungcheol ends up watching in horror as it only fuels their concerningly high levels of horny energy for that night. Joshua insists on following them back home, but Jeonghan keeps his back turned to the couple as the sound of skin on skin echoes in the room.

“Jeonghan-ah,” Joshua calls him. Jeonghan hums to show he’s listening, ignoring every other sound in the room. “Do you think underwhelming sexual performance would work on them?”

“You could try,” Jeonghan giggles. “But have you seen anything that weak work on them ever since you came to Earth?”

Joshua tries, and fails. Seungcheol tries even more, desperate to find a solution for this problem, and fails just as much. Jeonghan becomes more of a spectator for their attempts than actual help, because he knows. He just knows—he has a feeling too, that these aren’t just regular stubborn humans that unintentionally make their lives a lot harder. Jeonghan doesn’t tell his friends that. He lets them try first, lets them fail. Now, after two weeks, Jeonghan sees a hint of amusement when Seungcheol laughs in disbelief at Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan.

“Is Chwe Hansol a good option for another infidelity plan?” Joshua asks. All three of them are sitting in uncomfortable plastic chairs in a crowded dining hall, watching Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan eat with their friends. “We haven’t tried him. Yet.”

“Nope,” Jeonghan doesn’t even bother to look at them. “He’s a good guy. Loves both Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan dearly. Wouldn’t even think of that.”

“Well,” Joshua gets up from his chair with a sigh. “We have to try, don’t you think?”

Joshua wouldn’t admit it, but he’s a little stubborn, and that’s why he tries a plan he already knows is going to fail. Seungcheol doesn’t move this time, too busy letting out the longest sigh Jeonghan’s ever heard from him; they both stare in silence as Joshua casts his spells until Seungcheol clicks his tongue.

“I don’t think they’re regular humans,” he murmurs.

“Yeah,” Jeonghan agrees easily, voice rough. “Are we thinking—”

“Soulmates, yes,” Seungcheol finishes his sentence. Jeonghan laughs lightly, a little in disbelief. “I can’t—we can’t, like, prove it. Legally speaking.”

“So there is a way to prove it?” Jeonghan raises an eyebrow at Seungcheol, but he’s still staring ahead at Joshua.

“There’s always a way. But it’s dangerous, I can’t do it now because I’m with you, and everyone back home has their eyes on you right now,” Seungcheol explains, whispering through his teeth, barely moving his lips as if they’re being watched. Jeonghan hums. “If you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do,” Jeonghan nods. He hears the faint, distant sound of spells breaking and watches Joshua’s shoulders dropping. “Would it be weird if I just… never gave up on this mission? If I just kept trying, and trying…”

“I didn’t want to tell you this now, but,” Seungcheol sighs, “they’re going to transfer your mission to a higher level soon. There’s not many of us left that can solve this, and you know they’d rather waste more time on this than find a way to confirm the humans are soulmates.”

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything at first—he barely moves, taking in Seungcheol’s words and what they mean not only for himself, but for Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan as well. It’s rare for any of his missions to get transferred to a higher level, and it usually frustrates Jeonghan more than anything else, but right now, he’s not frustrated. There’s a hint of disappointment. He’s—sad, maybe? He watches as Joshua makes his way back to them, defeat all over his face and posture. If someone more powerful than the three of them is going to get Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan as their mission…

“They’re going to suffer all over again,” Jeonghan whispers, eyes on Joshua. Seungcheol hums, agreeing. “And it’s going to be worse. Because—I think—I was too…”

Too nice to them, Jeonghan thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. If they really are soulmates—and Jeonghan is pretty sure they are—then it wouldn’t have worked either way, but it would’ve been harder on them if he’d tried harder too. But he didn’t, and whoever tries to break them up after his mission is transferred probably won’t be as nice as he was. That’s why, in a way, he wants to stay for just a little longer. If he could give them just a few more months of peace…

Jeonghan laughs, running a hand down his face.

“At least it’s literally impossible to make them break up,” he says, smiling when Joshua drops his weight on the chair again, frustration pouring out of him. “How much time do we have left?”

“A week. Probably less than that,” Seungcheol shrugs. “Next time they call me, most likely.”

Jeonghan watches the couple from a distance. They’re glued together as usual, hands always finding a way to touch each other, and they seem happy. As if the fight never happened, as if something like that could never happen again. Jeonghan gets up from his uncomfortable plastic chair, stretching and groaning as a few of his bones crack, and looks at both Seungcheol and Joshua.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says. “There’s a few places I want to see in Seoul and haven’t had the time to because of those two.”

Jeonghan hears Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan’s booming laughter as he leaves the dining hall, Seungcheol and Joshua trailing behind him in silence.

*

“Blood ice cream tastes like shit,” Jeonghan spits out on the sidewalk. Joshua points and laughs at him as he eats the ice cream in question, enjoying the dessert. “Who told vampires this is good?”

“I don’t hate it,” Seungcheol shrugs, stealing another spoonful from Joshua. “I mean, there’s a weird iron-y aftertaste, but—”

Whatever Seungcheol was going to say gets interrupted by a familiar shadow appearing to their little group’s left. Jeonghan freezes, the boxy outline covering one of his feet and turning into a more opaque gray quickly. He ignores both pairs of eyes on him and looks in the direction he knows the phone booth is right now, closing his lips in a thin, straight line when it finally rings. Loud, disruptive, an annoying reminder of what they ignored was going to happen for the past week.

Seungcheol whispers something about taking the call, but Jeonghan doesn’t hear it. He’s staring at the phone booth, at his friend as he goes inside, the way he nods and makes faces as if whoever is at the other end of the line can see him. It ends quickly—there’s nothing much to be said, Jeonghan is sure. Seungcheol hangs up the call, stares at his hand for a few seconds too long and turns around to find Jeonghan’s eyes through the transparent glass of the booth. When he opens the door, it’s like there’s air getting punched out of his lungs as he says:

“Mission’s over for you, Jeonghan. They’re transferring those two to a level above us,” there’s a pause, and Seungcheol scratches the back of his head. “I tried to explain to them what I think they are, but…”

“What do you think they are?” Joshua asks, poking at his ice cream.

“Soulmates,” Jeonghan explains quickly, still looking at Seungcheol. He looks like he’s pitying Jeonghan for not being able to finish his mission. Or like he knows Jeonghan will mi—

“That’d explain a lot of what we went through,” Joshua interrupts Jeonghan’s train of thought with a laugh, covering his mouth with one of his hands. Jeonghan smiles, looking at him and avoiding Seungcheol’s eyes. “And you said it was transferred. No mission canceled?”

“They still want to try,” Seungcheol grumbles. “Elevator should show up by the train station tomorrow around noon. They said we’re allowed to keep trying if we’d like to as we wait for it.”

Seungcheol and Joshua start talking about something Jeonghan doesn’t bother to follow. He kicks a pebble on the sidewalk, touching the rounded edges of the postcard deep inside his pocket and wondering what his next mission will be. Annoying sirens? Brooding vampires? There’s no way for him to know. He doesn’t care either, when he thinks about it. He doesn’t miss home as much anymore, not now that he has Seungcheol and Joshua with him. Jeonghan could stay. Jeonghan wants—no. He shakes his head, pushing the thought away.

He looks up, finding Joshua’s eyes on him. There’s a faint smile Jeonghan doesn’t trust one bit on his face, but before he can ask what Joshua’s thinking, his friend groans with an exaggerated stretch of his limbs.

“You know what,” he says, throwing the empty ice cream cup away. Jeonghan squints at him. “Since we’re going back home soon, there’s some other things I want to do while I’m still on Earth. Alone.”

“Yeah, me too,” Seungcheol says as well, and when Jeonghan looks at him, he’s looking down at the ground. Avoiding eye contact. Barely raising his voice to let Jeonghan hear him. “I rarely come to Earth. We’ll see each other tomorrow anyway, yeah? We can get the next few hours for ourselves.”

“To do whatever we want,” Joshua says and when Jeonghan looks at him, his smile grows just a little bigger, enough to hide his irises behind his eyelids. It’s almost threatening, if Jeonghan knows him as well as he’d like to believe he does. “I know you were alone on Earth for a month before we showed up, but hey. Last chance to do something you might not be able to do for some time. Or ever.”

“Ha,” Jeonghan breathes out, teeth locked together. “Haha. Sure.”

“Just, um, let’s not do anything too risky. No one’s watching us anymore because your mission has been transferred, but—yeah.”

Jeonghan tries not to laugh at how obvious Seungcheol’s being with his concern. He chooses to nod only, avoiding eye contact with both of his friends now. Seungcheol is the first to take a few steps back, raising one hand to say he’ll see them the next day. Joshua is still around for a few more seconds, either hesitating or waiting, Jeonghan can’t tell. When Jeonghan finds it in him to look at his friend, Joshua’s smile isn’t as threatening—still, he’s having his fun.

“Nothing you do will be risky. Just saying.”

“Sure,” Jeonghan laughs a little too hard. He takes a step back, but doesn’t take his eyes off his friend. “I know Seungcheol. And I know you too.”

“And we both know you,” Joshua waves at him. “See you tomorrow, Jeonghanie.”

Jeonghan turns his back on Joshua, shaking his head as he gets further away.

*

Staring at the small building, Jeonghan wonders what this has come to. What he has come to, after almost two months on Earth. 

He pulls his beanie down, over his eyes, and takes deep breaths. No one is watching him. No one is here to see this—not even his best friends, his family, who most likely know what he’s about to do. He pulls his beanie up again, straightens his hair with his clammy hands and walks into the building, climbing up the stairs two steps at a time.

Mission’s over for him. It’s the first time in his long existence that he has failed to make two humans break up, and it should be more humiliating, more frustrating, but Jeonghan notices he doesn’t care all that much. He wants to say he’s proud of those two guys for unknowingly fighting tooth and nail against entities that they aren’t even aware are there to make them suffer, but Jeonghan isn’t someone that feels pride, especially over two humans. He feels something foreign, he’d say; something that isn’t common for a creature like him.

Jeonghan walks through the front door of Boo Seungkwan’s apartment to find both him and Lee Chan on the floor, in front of the TV, an old blanket thrown over their legs as they eat. Lee Chan is talking through a mouthful of noodles, pointing at the screen with his chopsticks while Boo Seungkwan stares at him as if he’s grown a second head. Bickering, Jeonghan thinks, not even trying to fight against the smile pulling the corners of his lips up. Things really have gone back to normal for them after that fight.

Watching them in silence for a few seconds makes Jeonghan realize he didn’t have a plan. He knew he wanted to be there, checking on them one last time before someone else came to Earth to work on them, but now that he’s here, he isn’t sure about what to do. Jeonghan holds his breath for a few moments and clicks his tongue, sitting down on the sofa right behind them, crossing his legs.

It’s the same. After almost two months, after nearly going through a very dramatic break up, Boo Seungkwan and Lee Chan are still the same. Out of everything Jeonghan has seen, out of every memory he saw in Boo Seungkwan’s mind, out of everything he can imagine these two doing in the future, it’s all the same. The gentle touches, the bickering, the way Lee Chan smiles and laughs openly when Boo Seungkwan stares at him in disgust. The small, small moment Lee Chan touches Boo Seungkwan’s cheek and says he looks like a mochi, and Boo Seungkwan looks at him like he’s the only person in the world and calls him stubbly.

“They’re infuriating,” Jeonghan says, the words coming out as a sigh he’s been holding onto for the past two months. A giggle escapes his lips and Jeonghan runs a hand through his hair, throwing his beanie aside. “And ridiculous.”

Lee Chan keeps talking. Boo Seungkwan holds his hand as he goes on and on, food almost completely forgotten. Watching them from behind, Jeonghan bites his lower lip and reaches out with both of his hands. Touching his middle fingers to the back of their heads, Jeonghan holds his breath, thinking of what to say now. 

His mission is over. Who knows when the next one responsible for them will think about giving up and accepting they’re soulmates. Who knows if tomorrow, when someone else arrives on Earth to break them up, their moment of peace will be broken. Jeonghan isn’t proud of them, least of all proud of himself, but he knows a great couple when he sees one.

He breathes in.

“I love you.”

Jeonghan breathes out. Lee Chan’s words slowly die on his tongue while Boo Seungkwan looks at him fondly. Jeonghan pulls his hands back, crossing his arms; there’s a sparkle in their eyes that he recognizes, knows what it means. He gets up from the couch with a huff, stuffing his beanie in his pocket with the postcard he still hasn’t thrown away.

Before he crosses the front door to leave, Jeonghan hears Boo Seungkwan’s voice.

“We should get married.”

Jeonghan smiles.

“Good,” Lee Chan says, humming thoughtfully. “I was just thinking about how I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Jeonghan doesn’t hear the rest of their conversation. The sound of the TV and their voices are muffled behind the door after he crosses it, and he starts his way downstairs. Touching the edges of the postcard in his pocket, Jeonghan whistles the melody of the song playing in the drama they were watching.

He knows they will be fine.