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Dirk has always hated Roxy.
Well no but it was just a feeling he had in his stomach since Roxy was off the alcohol and their attitude towards things didn't really change. Tell him why Roxy is still drinking though? The days Roxy had withdrawals were horrible, passing out on the floor, throwing up- Eugh. That was enough for Dirk Strider. So now he was fulfilling this desire, this feeling, the feeling to kill Roxy. Dirk grabbed his long, sharp katana and held it in his hand. He went over to the main room where the annoying little shit was sitting. Their head turned towards him, looking at his katana, but Dirk ALWAYS has katanas, so it's not something to worry about is it?
DIRK: Roxy.
ROXY: hi dirk wuts up-
Dirk quickly sped towards Roxy with his katana, slicing Roxy's head off. Blood spewed everywhere, but who cares? Dirk can just use disinfectant and clean it up. Also as for everyone else, it doesn't matter about their feelings. Alright maybe a little, people might be upset but Calliope is aroace, she can't feel love like he does. As for everyone else, err.. He can just frame it as a suicide or just throw the body into a lake, or burn it. Then suddenly a figure appeared in the room, fuck. It was Jade. Jade's eyes dilated at the scene (murder) she was seeing.
JADE: dirk what did you-
JADE: why did you do this...
DIRK: Jade I can explain.
DIRK: I also don't want you to tell anyone.
DIRK: I don't want that to happen.
DIRK: I'm hoping I won't have to kill you aswell, Jade.
JADE: kill me?
JADE: you won't have to kill me!
JADE: i don't care about roxy
DIRK: ....
DIRK: Then clean up the blood with disinfectant, while I clean up the body.
DIRK: Dispose of actually.
JADE: righto!
After this, no one actually found out about Roxy's death but they had just thought that they just left them. Afterall, Jake did when he went on a "vaccination" but no one has seen him in months. Anyways now Dirk and Jade are going to talk things out.
JADE: Hey..
JADE: dirk what do we do now?
DIRK: What do you mean.
(JADE): You know!
(JADE): About like..
(JADE): We literally killed someone what do we do now?
DIRK: Stop whispering.
DIRK: Jade.
DIRK: No-one cares. They think that the little shit just disappeared like Jake.
DIRK: We can just continue with whatever we were doing.
JADE: Hm..
JADE: Then..
JADE: Do you want to sleep together?
DIRK: Repeat what you just said.
JADE: Do you want to sleep together?
DIRK: .
DIRK: I'm going to assume you actually mean sleep, as it is dark outside.
DIRK: So yes, I will sleep with you Jade.
JADE: Thank you!
The two went to bed together, after they got changed. In bed Jade said something to Dirk before they actually fell asleep.
JADE: I hate Kanaya
DIRK: ...
DIRK: I can help kill her.
JADE: Thank you
