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“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.”
Ozai reached down to cup Zuko’s face, and for a moment Zuko thought he was going to hit him. Then, he covered Zuko’s eye with his hand. Zuko had a moment to wonder what his father was going to do before Ozai lit his hand on fire, and Zuko’s world narrowed down to searing heat and blinding pain.
His father’s hand blazed with fire, pressed against Zuko’s face, tearing a scream from his throat. He clawed at Ozai’s arm, but his father was unyielding, unflinching. Unfeeling.
His burning flesh sizzled under his father’s hand. He fought the urge to vomit as the smell burrowed into his nostrils.
“Father, please…” he choked out.
Ozai didn’t respond, just glared down at him. He could faintly hear his uncle shouting for Ozai to stop, that this was cruel and unnecessary.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Ozai removed his hand from Zuko’s face. Zuko collapsed to the ground, his chest heaving, his face still burning. Half of his vision was blurred and warped, and the other half was tinged with black.
He heard Iroh shouting for a healer, his attempts to comfort him. He vaguely wondered if Azula cared about what Father had done.
Zuko gasped awake, the smell of charred flesh still faint in his nose. He sat up and wiped the sweat from his face. Maybe a walk would help clear his head.
Stepping out of his tent, he was surprised to see Katara sitting against a log, staring into the cold fire pit.
“Hey, Katara. Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, sitting down beside her.
“Hi, Zuko. No, I couldn’t.”
“Nightmares?”
“…Yeah.”
“Me too.” He sighed. “My father…no matter how far I get from him, I’m never really free. I keep dreaming about…the day I got the scar.”
“Oh.” She put a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. Having to relive that must be hard for you.
“It is. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Oh, okay. Um…”
“I don’t care what. Something stupid. What do normal teenagers talk about?”
“I don’t know. Uh…” She thought for a moment. “Oh! Who was your first kiss?”
“What?” he asked, unable to keep in a laugh.
“Hey, you said something stupid!” she defended, also laughing.
“Okay, okay. My first kiss was this guy named Jet. Uncle and I met him in Ba Sing Se.”
“Wait, my first kiss was Jet,” Katara said. “Your first kiss was also Jet?”
“Yeah…” Zuko replied.
“The same Jet?”
“Yeah.”
“With the hooks? And the eyebrows?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my God!” Katara laughed, leaning back against Appa. “I didn’t know you knew Jet too! Oh my God, that’s crazy.”
“Yeah, I met him when Uncle and I were on the way to Ba Sing Se. He tried to get me to join his gang, then kinda flipped his shit when he found out Uncle and I were firebenders. I had, like, a huge crush on him before I found out he was a massive douche. I thought he liked me back, but he didn’t.” Zuko laughed sourly. “I never found out what happened to him. He got hauled off by the Dai Li and I never saw him again. He really hated me, but I hope he’s okay.”
Katara winced. “Oh, um. Zuko…I should probably tell you something. About Jet.”
“Oh, do you know what happened to him?”
“Yeah…um…we also ran into him in Ba Sing Se. How much do you know about the Dai Li?”
“Not much. They’re like a secret police force, right?”
“Yeah, they are. Well, after you saw them take him, they brainwashed him. Then, when we found him, he helped us free Appa from Lake Laogai, but Long Feng attacked us and he didn’t get out in time.”
“So he’s…”
“He’s dead. I’m sorry, Zuko.”
“Oh.” Zuko looked at the ground.
He’s dead.
Jet was dead. Zuko had always wondered what had happened to him. It was satisfying, in a way, to know for sure. And deep down, in the darkest part of his heart, the part of him that he always tried to ignore, he was sickeningly glad that Jet was gone. He had tried to kill him and Uncle.
“What happened?”
“Long Feng crushed him with a rock. I tried to heal him, but there was too much damage, and we had to find Appa.”
“Agni,” Zuko muttered. That must have been horrible, dying like that. Slowly, and knowing that healing would only delay the inevitable. Zuko would never wish that on anyone, not even Jet.
“Yeah,” Katara replied. She sighed. “It was really hard for me, having to leave him there. Even after what he did, I was angry at him, but I still didn’t want to leave him there to die.”
“He found out Uncle and I were firebenders and was obsessed with proving that we were Fire Nation and getting us arrested. Even when he got arrested and hauled off by the Dai Li, I tried to help him, but he refused and told me that he never wanted to see me again.”
“I’m sorry. It sounds like he wasn’t a good experience for either of us.”
“Agni, no.”
They sat in comfortable silence for a while. Zuko felt Katara’s head slowly drop onto his shoulder, and with her slow, even breathing, he realized she was asleep.
He thought about Jet. He had really thought that Jet liked him, and he had thought, foolishly, that maybe they could have had a future together. Looking back on it, he should’ve known better. Even if Jet had really liked him, he wasn’t the kind of person who could just settle down and have a normal life. He’d always had this nervous energy, like if he sat still for too long he’d break from the buildup.
Ba Sing Se, and Jet, was the first time that Zuko had even begun to come to terms with his identity. In that way, he guessed that Jet would always be with him, if only because whatever they’d had had such an impact on Zuko.
Sometimes he wondered what could’ve happened if he joined the Freedom Fighters, or if Jet had never found out he was Fire Nation. He would definitely be worse off than he was now. Looking back on it, Jet definitely wasn’t good for him, and he was glad that he was able to see that now, even if he hadn’t realized it then.
Zuko felt his eyelids growing heavy as he dropped his head to rest on top of Katara’s.
He dreamed of Jet.