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There really isn't a way to be sure. Well, not a legal one. If she tries, it will be documented and... Clarke doesn't want to think about what happens then.
She's always wanted to be a doctor, but right now she curses medicine and how it has failed her.
Five years. It seems like a long time. From the age of 13, to the age of 18. It is a long time. So much has happened to Clarke in five years. She committed her first crime; stealing a crayon from the exchange. She got away with it thank god. She had her first kiss, and it was just as awkward as everyone says. She lost her father. She lost her mother in a way too. And she knows it will never be the same with Wells and she doesn't really expect him to forgive her. She hated him for two years, their relationship won't be easy to mend after that.
She also met Bellamy and she smiles just thinking about him. He's such a grump and for some reason that makes her love him even more. When she met him, he was mourning the loss of his mother (and his sister too but she learned that much later on when they had built some trust with each other). She was mourning her father as well, but the wound was not so fresh. She was upset at her mother and upset with herself for all she's done to Wells. They were both a wreck back then. They make each other better. They helped the other heal. Sometimes they would find an empty corner down in Walden and just bitch for hours on end, complaining about everything and anything. Other times Clarke would sneak into his apartment in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. Being with him, wrapped up in his arms, always made her forget the nightmares about her father.
She's the only other person- outside of the skybox- who knows about Octavia and it makes her feel loved that he trusted her enough to tell her about his sister. He teaches her to dance when they find weird songs on the archives. It's easy and fun with him. People say opposites attract but they really got that wrong. She and Bellamy are both fire. They're both extremely passionate people who want to be heard. When they agree on something, they'll talk about it until they run out of things to say. And when they disagree, they'll debate and argue about it until they're both blue in the face.
He doesn't treat her like a porcelain doll, doesn't see her as something fragile just because she watched her father die. They have an understanding that pity has no place on the Ark.
And another thing that has no place on the Ark? Undocumented babies.
The process is long and tedious. There are forms to fill out which take much too long to be reviewed. Then you have to wait for availability of the necessities like a crib, and extra blankets. Then it takes even longer for the extra rations to be added to your accounts. And they only offer it to married couples. And couples can only marry if they're from the same station. And even that has a long and drawn out process before you can say ‘I do’.
But Bellamy is from Walden and Clarke is from Phoenix. They're not married, can't be. And they certainly haven't registered for a child.
Surprise!
This shouldn't happen, it's almost impossible. Implants last five years. A woman gets her first one when she starts getting her period, this gives it enough time to begin working properly. And when the five years are up you have to go to the clinic to get a new one. Clarke got her first implant when she was 13, meaning she got a new one when she was 18. And she missed the deadline by a week.
One week. Seven days. Three nights alone with Bellamy. Two lunch breaks spent in the supply closet on Walden. One egg fertilized. One baby.
Her mother has no idea she's having sex, she probably doesn't even know Bellamy Blake exists. So when Clarke misses the date it's no big deal to Abby. She mentions it in passing, reminding Clarke to stop by the clinic when she has time. No big deal, single women miss the deadline all the time.
But that was a month ago. Clarke had her suspicions in those four weeks, she was tired a lot more than usual, protein paste made her gag every morning, and everything aches all the time. She couldn't bring herself to go in and get the implant. In the off chance that she is pregnant, the new implant would cause her to miscarriage. Just the thought of that drives her to tears.
So she doesn't get the new implant and she keeps telling her mother she'll do it eventually. She tries not to let Bellamy see how stressed she is, and when he says something she just makes an excuse about having a hard day of training in medical.
By her calculations, she's about eleven or twelve weeks along when she notices the tiniest bump. Honestly she could have just gained some weight, but she knows as any mother would.
She holds in her tears as she walks down to Walden. Bites her lip as she quietly knocks on Bellamy’s door. He answers with a smile on his face and she crashes into him, sobbing almost instantly. He's quickly ushering her into the apartment and sitting with her on his bed.
“Clarke, what is it? What's wrong? Has something happened?” he asks, gently brushing her hair back from her face.
“I'm gonna get floated, Bel,” she cries into his shirt.
“Why would you get floated, Princess? Talk to me.”
She looks at him for a moment and all she can think about is how the baby will probably have his eyes. She loves his eyes, they're so kind and warm. She hopes it will have his freckles too because they're pretty adorable.
But she can't think about that because there is no way they can have this baby. What will they do? Hide Clarke away for nine months? Hide the child like he did with Octavia?
Bellamy pulls her into his chest and starts rubbing her back. “It's okay,” he says softly. “It's going to be okay.”
“It's not, Bel! It's not going to be okay!”
“Then tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can fix it,” he says, pulling back to look at her.
“Bellamy, I'm pregnant,” she whispers.
“Pregnant?” he says and she gets the feeling he was saying it more to himself. “We're gonna- we're having a baby?”
She nods.
“You're sure?”
She stands from the bed and lifts her shirt to show him the small, but still there, bump. “I forgot about my implant and missed getting a new one by like a week and then... This... I know it's not much and I just look like I've gained a few pounds but-”
She's cut off by Bellamy hugging her tightly and she grabs his shirt to try and pull him closer.
“Talk about bittersweet...” he says. She can tell he's crying and that just makes her own tears flow faster.
“I don't know what to do, Bel.”
“It's up to you, Princess. I can't make you do anything you don't want to do.”
She sighs, “I want to have this baby, but. That's not really a possibility.”
“It can be,” he says.
“What am I going to do? Run away? It's a small ship, guards would find me...”
“Not if you stayed here,” he tells her. “Guards don't even bother knocking on my door. They all just mock me when I pass them in the halls. Seriously I can't remember the last time I had a ‘random search’.”
“I can't do that to you, Bellamy. What if they caught us?”
“We'd both get floated... But honestly Clarke, love is worth the risk to me. I'd do it all again if it meant getting to spend 16 years with O and my mom. Yeah it hurts like hell now but, I'll always have those good moments too. Is it really worth getting rid of the baby and regretting it for the rest of our lives?”
“We’ll figure it out?” she asks, looking up at him. She's hopeful, she has to be, and she's glad to see that he is too.
“We’ll figure it out,” he agrees.
“I’m sorry, Bel...” she says in a whisper, sitting back down on the bed.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She gives him a watery smile before shifting back to lay her head on his pillow. Her hands reach out for him and he settles in beside her.
“I bet it’s a boy,” she says quietly, resting a hand on her stomach.
“Yeah?”
“I’ve always wanted a son. I know you’re not supposed to say that, especially now that there actually is a baby, but I think a son would be nice.”
“What would we call him?” Bellamy asks.
“Nelson,” she thinks for a moment more before adding, “or Oliver...”
Bellamy smiles, laying his hand on top of hers, “I like Nelson. Nelson Blake.”
“No way, Nelson Griffin.”
“You’re crazy, woman. This kid is a Blake.”
“Am I a Blake?” she asks.
He rests his forehead against hers, their noses brushing against each other. “I sure hope so,” he whispers.
“What do you think it's like?” Clarke asks, leaning her head back against the pillow. “The ground?”
“I imagine Nelson taking his first steps, stumbling and falling into the grass. Real grass.”
“Taking his first breath with real air. Not this filtered and failing shit,” she stares up at the ceiling, trying to picture a mini Bellamy running around on earth, climbing trees and learning to swim.
“I'd find all the beautiful wildflowers and make a crown for you to wear at our wedding. Assuming they won't give you a rash or poison you or something...”
She laughs and places a kiss to his shoulder, “We’d get married on the ground?”
“It's not illegal there,” he says simply.
It sounds nice, living on the ground with Bellamy and their child. Even if the radiation levels are unknown, it would still be better than being floated for wanting to keep the baby. Or dying from lack of oxygen. She pulls the blanket out from under them, burrowing into the warmth of his bed.
“Tell me more about Nelson’s adventures on the ground,” she requests, sending him a lazy smile. His arm wraps around her shoulders and he pulls her closer to his side.
“He would have never had to eat that god awful protein paste, he'll get to eat real food. Food that grows in the ground and doesn't cost an arm and a leg. He'll see animals, be able to run free without the small hallways of this stupid ship.”
“He can do whatever he wants and not have to worry about ending up in the Skybox,” Clarke adds.
“Maybe not whatever he wants, we don't want a wild child on our hands,” he says, making her grin. She hears him sigh and looks at him. He's serious all of a sudden. “He could have siblings.”
From her time with Bellamy, Clarke knows how to sense what is behind his words. Being a big brother is a huge part of who he is, it would mean a lot to him to be able to offer that joy to his kid. She knows he wants that for Octavia as well.
“This one's not even born yet and you want more?” she jokes.
“I want a whole herd of kids, Princess.”
“That sounds nice,” she says around a yawn.
Bellamy chuckles, “I think that means it's time for bed. Your mom working tonight?”
“Yeah, I can stay the night. She won't even notice. But I should go back to the apartment tomorrow to get some of my things.”
“Well, that's a tomorrow problem. Now? Now we sleep.”
---
The next morning, Clarke wakes feeling better than she has in a while. Yeah life sucks, it sucks a lot. She's in real danger. But she's got Bellamy on her side and before yesterday, she had no one. He's in this with her even if they are met with the endless void of space.
She stays in bed with him for a few hours before he has to report for work. With one last hug and one last kiss, she heads back to her and her mother's apartment to get some things to keep at Bellamy’s.
It turns out that it's hard to just pack up her things and leave. She's not sentimental, you can't really be when you live on the Ark, but. It's hard to leave. For a while she just sits on her bed, staring at the wall. Her bed is so uncomfortable compared to Bellamy's. She's knows that's probably bullshit because she does live on Phoenix after all, her things are bound to be nicer. Maybe it's because she sleeps practically on top of Bellamy at night. She doesn't even notice she does it, she'll just wake up in the morning to some remark from him about how she sleeps like a cat.
“Hey,” Clarke jumps at the voice, turning towards the door and seeing Wells standing there. “Everything okay?”
“I guess,” she says with a shrug.
“You going somewhere?” he nods at the small pile of clothes she's got stacked on the bed beside her. None of them will fit her in a few months. She hadn't even thought of that.
“I am.”
“To Bellamy’s?” he laughs at her shocked expression before sitting beside her. “I know you, Clarke. I was worried about you, I wanted to make sure you were okay. And he makes you seem okay...”
“I might not be okay for long, though...”
“What does that mean?”
She looks at him for a long moment, willing the words to come out. But they won't. Finally she just grabs his hand, placing it on her stomach and hoping he understands.
His eyebrows knit together before his face deflates, “No...”
“Yeah...”
“Clarke, what-”
“I'm hiding. I'm going to stay at Bellamy's and hope for the best.” He gives her an unimpressed look. “What else am I supposed to do, Wells? Get floated? Get rid of the baby? I can't, I won't.”
He sighs, “I actually stopped by to tell you something, you know.”
“What's that?”
“I overheard my dad talking in his office with some of the council members. Clarke they're sending people to the ground. The prisoners, the kids in the Skybox.”
“What? Why would they do that?”
“They realized that your dad had a point. It's either this, or give up all hope and sentence us all to death.”
Clarke grabs his hands, a hopeful look on her face. “I have to go with them. Bellamy and I need to go.”
“That's ridiculous. You're pregnant.”
“That's why I have to do this! I can't raise my child while hiding the both of us under the floor. This could give us the chance to raise him right. He'll be raised on the ground, Wells!” she looks into his eyes, willing him to take her side. This is it! This is exactly what she and Bellamy had hoped for. “Please, Wells. Help me do this...”
“I'm not sure if it's safe-”
“It's all I've got, Wells!”
He puts his hand on her knee, “Let me finish. I'm not sure it's safe, so I'm going too.”
The biggest smile takes over her face and she starts crying, throwing herself at Wells. He laughs and hugs her back.
“I don't know what I would do without you,” she says into his shoulder. He pulls away and she gives him one last smile before standing from the bed. “I have to go tell Bellamy.”
“Clarke,” he says and she stops in the doorway, turning to face him. “They're leaving in three days.”
“We'll be ready.”
And with that, she's practically skipping down to Walden. She could sing she's so happy. Their child could actually have everything they want for it.
She finds Bellamy near the supply closet where they usually meet and he smiles when he notices her.
“Where's your stuff?” he asks but she doesn't answer. She just stands on her toes and kisses him. “I'm not protesting, but what's this about?”
“We're going to the ground, Bellamy. Like, really.”
“Wait, what?”
“Wells told me they're sending the prisoners to the ground to see if we can all go down there. Nelson will get everything we want for him, and you'll get to be with Octavia!”
He laughs a watery laugh before snaking his arms around her waist, lifting her into the air and spinning her around. His joyous laughter bounces off the metal walls and sounds like music to her ears.
“We're doing this,” he says.
“We are.” He sets her back on the ground and they just smile at each other like nothing could ruin their moods at the moment. After a beat she laughs, “Go back to work, Bel. We're having our wedding on the ground in three days and I expect a ring from the exchange.”
He kisses her forehead and unlocks the door to the closet, “I'll steal it for all we care. Not like they can float me.”
“I think I'll stick with my wildflower crown, thanks.”
---
Bellamy works all day the next day, so Clarke meets with Wells to discuss the plan.
“Here's what I've got,” he says, talking in a quiet voice even though there is no one around to hear. “We tell any guards that I'm there on official business, to check on things for my father. It won't be suspicious that you're there because, why wouldn't you be? You're my best friend.”
She smiles when he calls her that, his best friend. It feels nice to know he's forgiven her, or is at least making an effort at putting things back together. “What about Bellamy?” Clarke asks.
“I got a hold of my dad's tablet and checked the list of all the guards who will be watching the dropship, they're all cadets. I doubt they know what he looks like. I say we act like he's our escort, there to make sure the prisoners stay in line.”
“You're so much smarter than me,” Clarke tells him.
“We both know that's a lie,” they laugh. “So does this all sound doable?”
“I think so. There's a lot of variables, but if we just act natural no one will think anything’s up.”
“We'll be in history books one day, Clarke Griffin,” Wells says, holding up his hand to offer her a high five.
“Snuck onto the first ship to land on earth in 98 years, and first child born on earth in 98 years. We are already legends.”
---
“Are you nervous?” Clarke asks Bellamy.
They're sitting on his bed, waiting for Wells to come get them. Then they'll be on the dropship. Then they'll be on earth.
“A little,” he admits. “You?”
“I don't think so. But my palms just started sweating so, I might be more nervous than I think...”
“It's gonna be fine, Princess. None of this will matter when we breath in real air.”
“Or die of exposure to radiation.”
“Nope. Not going to happen,” he declares.
She scoffs, “I wish I had your confidence.”
“I'll tell you a secret,” he leans in, his breath fanning across her cheek. “It's all arrogance.”
“I think we can do this. I think we'll be great parents,” Clarke says.
“We're willing to die for this kid, I think that says something right there.”
Something occurs to Clarke in that moment and she feels her heart sink.
“Should I say anything to my mom?” she asks. “I know it's- I know there is this unspoken wall between us and we don't have the best relationship but, I might never see her again...”
“She might try to stop you, Princess. I don't know if that's the best idea,” he says honestly.
“Where's your tablet?” she asks, standing from the bed.
“On the table in the other room.”
Clarke grabs the tablet before walking back into the bedroom and sitting beside him again.
“What are you doing?” Bellamy asks.
“I'm gonna write her a message and set it so it sends after the launch.”
He nods in understanding, watching as she taps away on the screen. When she's finished, she hands the tablet over to Bellamy, asking if he thinks the letter is any good.
Mom,
I'm sorry I had to do this and I'm sorry I had to tell you in such a cowardly way. I'm pregnant. I don't think you know the father, his name is Bellamy Blake and he is everything I have ever wanted. He's from Walden and I think that says enough but I'm happy with him.
Wells told us about the plan to send the prisoners in the Skybox to the ground and we're going. I think it's what you would do too, to protect your child. I can't abort this baby and I can't leave Bellamy.
I hope one day, if it's safe on the ground, that you get to come down as well and meet your grandchild. This baby will take its first steps on earth, it will make history as the first child born on earth in 98 years.
Please don't hate me for doing this, but I have to do right for my child.
May we meet again,
Clarke
P.S. Please know that I don't blame you for what happened and I love you.
“I think it's perfect,” Bellamy says just as there's a knock at the door.
They both take a deep breath, this is it.
Wells leads them to the launch pad and guards stop them as soon as they try to go inside. Wells waves them aside with an air of authority and cockiness, something Clarke knows Wells never is. He glares at them as they pass, sending the message that his father will hear about this later. Even though he may never get the chance.
The guards inside are probably useless. They don't even really acknowledge the three of them. Even as they go into the dropship they don't try and stop them.
The countdown starts and Wells scrambles to close the door so the guards can't drag them out. Clarke and Bellamy get secured into seats on the first level and Clarke knows Bellamy is itching to find Octavia. Clarke grabs his hand and squeezes, sending him silent reassurance.
Wells straps in in a seat across from them and all the kids look at them with confused expressions. Those go away, however, when they launch. There's shaking and shouting and Clarke works hard to keep herself calm. The baby doesn't any unnecessary stress. She takes deep breaths and ignores the smell of smoke. Bellamy never lets go of her hand.
It feels like seconds have gone by before they have a sudden stop as they crash to the ground. And yet at the same time it feels like eons.
“Are you okay?” Bellamy asks, his hand resting on her stomach.
“Yeah. Yeah I think so,” she tells him.
He unbuckles his seatbelts before helping Clarke with hers.
“Let's go find Octavia,” Clarke says and he nods.
She's not on the first level so they climb the ladder to the second level. Bellamy helps Clarke up before he sees his sister and nearly takes off running. Clarke smiles to herself, he's happy. He's hasn't seen his sister in a year and a half. She can only imagine how he feels.
She watches Octavia’s face light up when she sees Bellamy and then she's jumping into his arms. Bellamy sets her down, just looking at her.
After a moment, he wraps his arm around her shoulder and is leading her over to Clarke.
“O, this is Clarke. She's- well I'm not sure what she is. Fiancé?” Bellamy laughs.
Octavia looks at him with eyes as wide as saucers, “I'm in lock up for 18 months and you get engaged?”
“We're also having a baby,” he tells her.
“Well my next question would have been why the hell you're here, but that answers that.”
There's shouting down on the lower level so the three of them climb back down the ladder to see what's going on. They see a kid with his hand on the lever that opens the door, and another kid is yelling at him not to open it. Clarke is suddenly nervous. She hadn't really thought about the fact that the earth might not be liveable. Of course she recognized the possibility, but usually in the abstract. She knows it takes 21 days to show symptoms of exposure to radiation and she figures that those 21 days will be pretty darn good, assuming there still is enough radiation to kill them.
They have to pull the lever, they can’t live in the dropship forever, so Bellamy pushes through the crowd to pull it himself. Octavia rushes to be beside him and Clarke stays back because the last thing she needs is to be trampled right now as all these prisoners run outside.
They’re all blinded for a second after the door opens, but a rush of cool air hits their skin. She was right about everyone running outside because after a moment of hesitation, she and Bellamy are the only ones still inside the dropship. She walks over to him and he wraps his arm around her waist.
“I can’t believe we did this,” she breathes. “This doesn’t seem real...”
“Honestly, the last year of my life doesn’t seem real.”
She rests her head on his shoulder and smiles. They stand there for a moment more, taking in all their eyes can take in. It’s mainly just a lot of green. But green is their new favorite color.
“After you, Princess,” Bellamy says, nudging her down the ramp.
She reaches for his hand, “Together.”
Clarke’s first step on earth is different than she expected, the ground much softer than the metal she’s used to on the Ark. There is grass and dirt and mud and the sky is the most beautiful shade of blue. The air smells, well, fresh. She’s not sure there’s another way to describe it. The air feels thick as well and she realizes it’s humidity. Humidity!
“I didn’t expect it to be this amazing,” Bellamy says, eyes darting around to see everything all at once.
All Clarke can do is lean into his side, she’s speechless. It is amazing.
---
Of course Clarke would give birth in the middle of a war. Her mother would never let her forget how much trouble she had delivering Clarke. It's basic karma.
It’s just Bellamy and Octavia with her in the top level of the dropship. Bellamy’s locked the door to make sure nobody can get to them. Clarke knows he feels terrible about leaving everyone out there to fight for him, those are their friends out there. But she also knows he wouldn’t be anywhere else than with her right now.
She’d been in pain all day but didn’t tell anyone. She thought it would pass eventually, and they had a war to prepare for. No one needed her as a distraction. But then there was a sharp and stabbing pain and she couldn’t help but cry out in pain. Bellamy was at her side impossibly fast, asking her questions at the speed of sound.
It went away for a while until it didn’t. That’s when he helped her inside the dropship. Octavia would not be left out of the birth of her niece (she is convinced it’s a girl although Clarke has a suspicion that she’s only saying that because Bellamy’s sure it’s a boy).
It’s been hours and for all they know, the war is over outside. Clarke feels disgusting and pretty much hates everything right now. The pain is almost constant and she is just so tired.
“Aren’t you supposed to like, push or something?” Octavia ask.
Clarke may have had to cut her medical training short, but she still helped deliver a baby. It was amazing. Of course that woman had her (albeit limited) share of drugs. Clarke doesn’t think she’s felt true envy until this moment.
“Octavia, this won’t be pleasant, but I need you to take four fingers,” Clarke says amongst her heavy breathing, gesturing to Octavia what she needs to do.
“What? That’s gross!”
“Yeah just wait until the baby comes, you haven’t seen anything yet. You just need to,” Clarke sighs, “you just need to do this, Octavia. If it’s four fingers I push, if it’s less than that I wait.”
“Mom didn’t have to do any of this...” Bellamy says, worry evident in his voice.
“Well I’m probably a lot more controlling than she was,” Clarke says.
Octavia does as Clarke says, but she does it with her nose scrunched up in disgust. “Umm Clarke, it’s four fingers,” she says.
“Okay,” Clarke says, mostly to herself. “Okay.”
“What can I do?” Bellamy asks. He brushes some hair off her forehead.
“Just hold my hand and- and don’t look. Octavia, get that t-shirt over there and wrap the baby up when it comes.” Octavia nods.
Maybe it’s a good thing Clarke is giving birth in the middle of a war, maybe she’ll scare the grounders off with her screams. It takes a few more pushes and even a few amazed ‘oh my gods’ from Octavia, and then there is a tiny cry echoing in the room. Octavia wraps up the baby and ties off the cord like Clarke told her to.
And then Clarke is holding her baby and there isn’t a war outside, or people trying to kill them, there is just this tiny thing with grey eyes and a piercing wail.
“Told you he’d be a boy,” Bellamy says quietly, in awe.
His cries quiet to a whimper and Clarke brushes his cheeks with the edge of the t-shirt to clean him off. “Welcome to earth, Nelson.”
---
It's many months before the Ark comes down too. The impact is so forceful that it shakes the ground like an earthquake. Nelson cries like its the end of the world because to him, everything is. He's such a dramatic baby, loving all the attention his 100 aunts and uncles give him.
Clarke holds him close to her chest, rocking back and forth and softly running a hand up and down his back. Bellamy and a few other kids go to check out the wreckage. Everyone is hoping for a lot of survivors, a lot of these kids still have parents on the Ark.
“You hear that, Nelson?” Wells says with an over exaggerated smile. “You might get to meet your grandma!
“Let's just hope she doesn't kill mommy first. That would be very bad, yes it would.” Clarke laughs when he slaps at her cheeks and tries to tug on a piece of her hair.
His eyes have settled on a bright, striking green. Just like his Auntie O (a fact she just loves to rub in her brother's face). He's got a head covered in short black hair and the longest eyelashes Clarke has ever seen. She's pretty bias, but he is an extremely handsome little guy.
They're all still waiting for any word on the Ark when Nelson starts tugging at Clarke's shirt. She tells Octavia and Wells to come get her if anything happens before heading inside the dropship.
“Well, what do ya think, Nelson? Are we going to have more of those crazy sky people in our camp?” she asks, but he's too busy having his afternoon meal to give her an answer. All she gets is a tiny grunt. “When daddy gets back, he will have so many stories to tell you, little one.”
Nelson love it when his father tells him stories, he really just loves the sound of Bellamy's voice. When he gets fussy at night Clarke will place him in Bellamy's arms, letting his deep voice calm the baby enough so he can fall asleep. Nelson also loves when his uncle Jasper makes funny faces at him, or when uncle Wells sings him a song.
She's burping Nelson, and thankfully covered up, when Octavia and Jasper rush inside. She can't say it would be the first time one of the 100 saw a little too much while she was breastfeeding, but she does try to keep that to a minimum.
“They're back,” Octavia tells her.
She stands, still patting Nelson on the back until he burps. “Nice one, Nelson,” Jasper says, holding up his hand for a tiny high five. Jasper loves doing that, but Nelson is too young to understand it, so he usually has to lift Nelson’s hand to help him out.
Miller is waiting for them just outside the dropship. “There's a lot of people, Clarke. Most of them need help.”
“Octavia, can you watch him?” Clarke asks and Octavia smiles.
She takes Nelson into her arms, bouncing him on her hip. “Come on, little dude. Let's go play peek-a-boo while your momma goes and saves some lives.”
Clarke places a kiss to her son’s forehead before following Miller to the Ark. Half of the ship is buried in the ground and some pieces are nowhere in sight. Wells is already there, apparently having left minutes before she did. The 100 have done a good job so far. They've grouped the injured just as she's taught them too. The people can walk are helping if they can, people with minor injuries are off to one side, and the severely injured are on the other. She's amazed by how well things are going.
She heads for the people who need her help the most: popping a man's shoulder back in and properly wrapping it, setting a broken leg, cleaning a few deep gashes. Anyone worse off than that is dead and as much as that saddens her, they had two die on their journey to the ground. Even a couple more die since then. She hates that she's getting used to it. Not getting used to the feeling, just getting used to the fact that casualties happen. That was never really a problem for her on the Ark.
She hears her name being called from somewhere behind her and sees Bellamy walking towards her with-
“Mom!” she shouts, running for them.
Clarke starts to cry when she feels her mother's arms around her. She wasn't sure this would ever happen, she had no idea if she would ever see her mother again. And now she is.
“You're okay,” Abby says, her hands resting on Clarke's shoulders as she looks her daughter up and down. She's changed a lot since her mother last saw her. She expanded a lot, then sort of deflated before somewhat returning to how she looked before. But her hair’s longer now, her boobs are definitely bigger too.
“I'm okay,” Clarke tells her.
“So this is Bellamy?”
Clarke nods and wraps her arm around his waist. He's smiling down at her, he's happy too. Happy for her, happy that he has a chance to meet her mother. “Yeah this is Bellamy, my husband.”
A warm smile appears on Abby’s face, “And the baby?”
“Is he with O?” Bellamy asks.
“Yeah he is,” Clarke tells him before addressing her mother again. “His name is Nelson. He's back at our camp with his aunt.”
“I'd love to meet him.”
“Of course. Although I should warn you, he doesn't look anything like me,” Clarke says with a laugh.
“He has your chin,” Bellamy reassures her.
“Yeah and your everything else. But Octavia's eyes for sure.”
Clarke takes a look around, trying to count how many people they can take back to camp with them right now. There's maybe twenty people here who can walk back, but she knows there are probably other parts of the Ark that landed farther away. They'll have to send out a search party later.
“We should take everyone we can back to camp,” she tells Bellamy. “We need to get inside the wall fast. The grounders won't be happy about this.”
There's been progress since Nelson was born, not a lot, but there isn't an active war anymore. The grounders agreed to mind their own business as long as the 100 stayed out of it. This might exclude that deal. Clarke readies herself for another talk with the commander.
Those who can get back to the dropship an hour and a half later and the only thing Clarke can focus on is the happy shrieks inside the walls coming from her son. Octavia notices them walk in and Nelson does too. He starts whining as soon as he sees Clarke, his little lip forming a pout.
“Oh my goodness,” Clarke says as she scoops him up into her arms. “There is no need for fussing right now, you crazy baby.”
He's still whining and reaching for his father so Clarke passes him along to Bellamy.
“You're just a pill today, aren't you?” Bellamy says, making a silly face so Nelson will giggle. “Yeah you are, huh?”
Abby slowly makes her way over to them, almost like she doesn't really know what to do or where she fits into this.
“Nelson,” Clarke says, tickling his belly. “This is grandma. Grandma, this is Nelson.”
Bellamy places the baby into Abby’s arms and she smiles down at him.
“Can you give grandma a kiss, Nelson?” Clarke asks. He doesn't really understand a kiss either, much like a high five. If you ask for a kiss, he just presses his face into your cheek and giggles.
Nelson warms right up to his grandma, grabbing onto her nose and letting out a happy shriek. It’s great to see Abby’s eyes light up as she holds her grandson. Over her time on the ground, Clarke has had more than enough time to think and overthink how her mother may have reacted to her letter. She could picture the disappointment on her mother’s face. She’d always hoped her mother understood. And now she knows she has. Maybe Abby was upset before she had the chance to get to the ground, but it’s obvious that now that’s all gone.
After a minute, Nelson is grabbing for Octavia and Abby hands him over. Clarke can tell she is wondering who this girl is that her grandson likes so much. “Mom this is Bellamy's sister Octavia.”
Abby looks between the Blakes, giving them the look. Bellamy has tried many times to explain the look to her, and Octavia has always hated it. But from Abby its fleeting and quick, made that way by her grandson babbling happily as Octavia bounces him on her hip. Octavia has to bite back a laugh, it's been a long time since the Blakes have seen the look. Everyone on the ground is used to the sibling by now, the shock has worn off.
That night, there are a lot more people in the camp. Some people are going back to the Ark in the morning to see what’s salvageable. They might be able to move their camp there after the dust has settled. It is definitely strange having this many people around, they’ve had to build a few more fires than usual. All the excitement is quite overwhelming to Nelson, so he and Clarke head into the dropship after she’s finished eating.
The Blakes have sort of claimed the dropship as their own. No one protested since they can close the door when Nelson cries. It’s a win-win for everyone; Nelson gets his own place away from the chaos of the camp, and everyone else gets to sleep through the night without being woken up. Octavia likes to sleep in there too for easy access to her nephew.
Clarke cradles Nelson in her arms and rocks him back and forth, that’s the quickest way to get him to sleep.
Bellamy comes inside after a while, quieting his footsteps when he realizes Nelson is asleep. He unlaces his boots and sits back on the blankets they have piled in the corner for their bed.
“I’ll take him,” Bellamy whispers and Clarke passes the sleeping baby to him.
Clarke takes off her own boots, changing into her pajamas and sitting next to Bellamy.
“Things are about to get really crazy,” Bellamy says quietly.
“Things have always been crazy,” she says with a sigh. “I’m worried about how the grounders will react...”
“We’ll be fine,” he says absently, most of his attention on Nelson.
Clarke rests her head on Bellamy’s shoulder. Her favorite time of day is the end of the night when she gets to be with her boys. They both seem to be made of energy; Bellamy ordering people around and helping build their camp from nothing, and Nelson babbling and squealing at whoever will listen. Watching Nelson as he sleeps is one of her favorite things ever. He looks so peaceful as he dreams about whatever it is babies dream about. She always dreamt about the ground, how it would feel for the wind to sting her cheeks or feeling the grass under her bare feet. But that is all he knows. Maybe he dreams about the stars. The universe sure does love its irony.
The ground is so much different than she ever expected. There are animals they try to kill them, and people who somehow survived all these years on the ground. The people try to kill them as well, but they’ve mostly stopped that for now. She had just wanted a chance. A chance to raise her son the right way. A chance for love. And she’s gotten that and then some. Nelson is happy and Bellamy is always by her side. Her mother is here now too.
The danger part is assumed now, but the happiness and contentment was never guaranteed. There was the possibility of a long and unpleasant death if the radiation got to them and there was a chance that the dropship would break up in the atmosphere before they even made it to earth.
Things turned out pretty well. Clarke keeps waiting for herself to wake up, for this dream to end. But it never does.