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“Captain! Captain!” He heard a voice scream.
One by one, his team was getting picked off.
“CAPTAIN KAEYA!” He heard their pleas, “HELP!”
Their cries for help. His vision was blurry, and his body staggered in pain. How much longer could he keep going?
“Must- keep…. fighting…” He muttered, struggling to hold his sword.
It was raining, which was supposed to give him an advantage- but who would expect a rogue Ruin Hunter would appear in the middle of Wolvendom Woods?
His team certainly did not.
“C-Captain! What do we-”
The voices- the fear and terror.
He couldn’t help them. He couldn’t even help himself.
As the screams died down, and the rain and thunder pounded in his ears- he felt his body become lighter.
Was this it? Was he dying? After everything- the traitor meets a cruel end. Was it really cruel though? Such a fate must be fit for someone like him. He was losing consciousness- he knew that much. He tried to stay up, but he knew that resistance was futile. His wounds were too much to bear, and the Ruin Hunter wasn’t letting up. It sharpened its weapon, ready to strike the last man standing.
“I’m sorry.” He muttered.
He didn’t quite know who exactly he was apologizing to. To his teammates, who he failed when they needed him? Was it to Jean; whom he failed as a captain? Or to Diluc? For failing him as a brother? Maybe to Crepus; for failing him as a son.
It didn’t matter who. He failed all of them. Even his own father, who abandoned him.
His life was a failure. A waste. And he was sorry to anyone who knew him.
His body hit the ground- it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the other wounds he had.
And as he closed his eyes, he felt warm…
He also saw light. Was it “the light”? Like when you die? No… it was… red… and flaming…
He didn’t expect to wake up. Nor did he expect to be on a cart, rolling towards Dawn Winery.
Oh… Here I am… once again…
It was bittersweet, in a way. How he was bleeding out, being taken towards the place where he had first been abandoned.
He couldn’t speak- only look around. He caught sight of the brooding red-haired man that was wheeling him back. Only… he didn’t look so brooding… Was it a trick of his near-death hallucinations, or was Diluc…
He couldn’t form many thoughts before he blacked out again.
The next time he woke up, he was inside of Dawn Winery, laying on a fancy red sofa. He only hoped it was red before he got there.
He realized he was awake enough to hear speaking, but only bits.
“Found him… tell Jean… others… only survivor…”
The words rang through his ears. His stomach dropped.
It didn’t matter if he lived or died through this experience. All that mattered was that he had to carry the knowledge that he failed his team. A bunch of excellent knights… gone. Dead. And it was his fault. It was always his fault- Crepus was his fault- Losing his brother was his fault-
Why did he have to be such a failure?
He couldn't tell if it was blood or a tear that dripped down his cheek. It was his right eye too. Maybe the world thought he needed a real reason to wear his eye patch.
He didn’t realize that the conversation he overheard was now over. He only noticed that when Diluc started to approach him.
“Kae…” He muttered.
A nickname he hadn’t heard in so long… Diluc must’ve thought that he was still asleep.
“I… I’m sorry… For everything. You… you’re a great knight, really. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself all the time. I know the front that you put up. A respectable knight who has everything together. But that's not the real you… Not the one I know at least.”
Kaeya kept his eyes and mouth closed, but holding his “unconscious” expression was difficult.
You don’t need to apologize… all of it was my fault.
“You’re gonna blame yourself for all this, I know you will, but… it's not your fault. No one would expect a Ruin Hunter to pop up in those woods. And no one would expect you to take it on, especially since you weren’t prepared for a fight. I’ve already sent some people out to retrieve the other knight's bodies and I've got a hawk sending a message to the Acting Grand Master. By the time you wake up… you’ll be back in Mondstadt.”
Kaeya had half the mind to get up and protest him that moment. He wanted to speak to him. To tell him everything that he felt.
The other part of him wanted to stay silent. To wait and listen.
But no part of him wanted to miss the chance to speak to his brother.
“I don’t know why I’m still talking to you. You’ll be briefed on all this when you can actually hear people. I just… I guess I wanted to give us both some comfort. I get to talk to you without your mask, and… you can listen.”
He heard Diluc take a deep breath. It… quivered.
“It wasn’t… easy… losing both you and father on the same day… You must know now that your timing wasn’t… great. But… Kae, if I had the chance to go back and change everything, I would.”
Now this wouldn’t have been Kaeya’s chosen time to “awaken” from his slumber, but his body had other plans.
He shot up, coughing as if he was trying desperately to lose a lung.
He heard Diluc gasp a bit, then saw him stand.
“Argh-” He grumbled, wrapping his arms around his waist.
“Here.” Diluc offered him a rag, to wipe up the blood that shot from his mouth.
Kaeya took a moment to cough some more, then laid back on the couch.
“Are you alright? How do you feel? Adelinde, can you bring me a glass of water-?” Diluc bombarded him with questions, sitting back down.
“I-I'm fine… I'm fine. You sound like-” He coughed some more, deciding to just sit up instead.
“Dad?” Diluc finished.
“...Yeah…” Kaeya muttered, looking away.
There was silence.
Kaeya observed his now wrapped wounds. His hand reached for his right eye.
Diluc looked away, fiddling with his hands.
“It's not that bad, right?” Kaeya jokes.
Diluc didn’t look at him.
More silence.
“…Maybe… Maybe I should just get going-” He said.
“No. No no no, you are staying on this couch till someone arrives to take you back to the city.” Diluc said, standing up and blocking the couch.
“I’ll be fine.” Kaeya countered.
“Fine!? You’re literally bleeding everywhere!” Diluc said, frustratingly.
“Better for me to bleed on the grass instead of your couch.” Kaeya muttered, attempting to stand.
Diluc sighed, stepping away.
“Fine, you can leave, only if you can manage to get to the door all by yourself without falling over.”
Kaeya scoffed before taking one step and collapsing.
He then started to cough even more, but this time, he couldn’t breath in.
“Kaeya!” Diluc exclaimed, helping him up immediately. “I expected you to fall over, but not to immediately start dying!”
“Here, Master Diluc.” Adelinde said, handing him a glass of water.
Adelinde helped Kaeya back to sitting on the couch, and Diluc handed him the water.
He downed it, only taking seconds to breathe.
“Careful- I don’t want you vomiting everywhere too.” Diluc scolded.
Kaeya set the glass on the table beside him.
“Sure thing, Master Diluc.” He muttered, sounding upset or angry, like his voice was filled with disdain.
“Don't say it like that…” Diluc muttered.
“Like what?” Kaeya asked snarkily.
“Like you hate me.” Diluc said, looking him in the eye.
…
“Yeah, okay…” Kaeya said, looking down.
…
Diluc got up to leave.
I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you. Please don’t leave-
“...I don’t hate you.” Kaeya said.
Diluc turned to him.
“Kaeya-”
“No. Let me speak…” He said, his expression was… sad.
“I don’t hate you, or what you do. I might’ve thought I hated you for a while, but I didn’t. Truth is… I've… missed you. I've missed my brother. And I know I’ve screwed up. I’ve hated myself ever since Crepus died. Ever since I ruined this family. And… and I would do the same thing.”
Diluc was speechless.
“The… ‘same thing’?” He asked.
“If I had the chance to go back in time and change things, I would. But part of me… if given the chance, would have never let us meet. Then maybe you’d still have your position in the knights, and maybe you’d still be happy and bright, and maybe you’d still have your dad-”
He hadn’t noticed the tears that started to roll down his cheeks.
He also didn’t notice that Diluc had started to approach him- till he was enveloped in a hug.
“Our dad…” Diluc whispered.
“....right…” Kaeya smiled, sniffling.
He wrapped his hands around Diluc, nuzzling his head into his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you too. But I guess I don’t need to tell you that, since i'm assuming you were awake during my whole monologue…”
“Yeah, I was…”
“Always the better actor.” Diluc said, exiting the hug.
“Of course,” Kaeya laughed, “Someone had to sneak us into the Knights training sessions, and your fake crying wasn’t going to cut it.”
“Yeah yeah…”