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“Mezo Shoji” had a secret. He was not a teenage human like everyone believed him to be. He was, in actuality, the son of the right-hand octopus of the Kamidakos, led by the great Akira Koda.
So when the Boss’s son decided they wanted to be a hero, he left the Kamidakos to go with him. An attendant for the one who would lead next.
He just wasn’t sure about this…
“You want to start a Crow Mafia?”
Koji nodded.
Aoyama was eating cheese, frenchily when he noticed something was horribly wrong! His 23rd disco ball was missing! By Aristaeus, those crows leaving his window had stolen his disco ball!
He fired a laser at them, frenchily, but alas! A near miss.
Clearly, there was only one thing to do about this. Interrogate their master!
Tokoyami was quietly reading a book of the occult while Dark Shadow was playing video games when all of a sudden, their door creaked open.
“Yes, who i-”
The whole room was suddenly illuminated by a disco ball, refracting a certain blue laser.
Tokoyami was unprepared for getting tied up with a blue cape and a 300 lumen flashlight getting flashed over his face.
“UN DE VOS AGENTS M'A VOLÉ ! POURQUOI?!?” Aoyama yelled frenchily in anger. Tokoyami was unsure where Aoyama had gotten knuckle dusters made out of cheese. It seemed to say in small print on the knuckles, but he also didn’t desire to get a knuckle sandwich.
Dark Shadow couldn’t use the Necronomicon without him, after all.
“POURQUOI!?” Aoyama yelled, his cheese as menacing as ever.
Tokoyami panicked before realizing that was french! The language he accidentally attended a single class of in middle school! “I lack the ability to speak to my brethren of the dark, I can barely verbalize the internal whispers to those in the light!”
Aoyama, realizing his mistake, twirled his cape and… vanished?
Jiro returned to her room after a rather boring day.
…
Something was wrong. Something was missing.
Where the heck was her microphone stand? She did let Kaminari borrow it the other day, but she could’ve sworn he returned it.
She supposed she should look around before going to ask him. In the closet? No. Under the bed? Didn’t seem like it. On the ceiling? Nope. It wouldn’t have made sense for it to be there anyway. Though, in a world of borderline magic quirks, it couldn’t hurt to check.
Walking to Kaminari’s room, she passed Kirishima, who was using Tetsutetsu as a barbell. This was not abnormal, they used each other as barbells a lot due to their ability to turn denser.
When she finally reached Kaminari’s room, the door was slightly opened. Knocking on the door frame to no response, she opened it up to find his room was a mess. Kaminari was underneath a pile of various things, apparently searching for something.
Kaminari knew he’d set the music symbol thingie he bought for Jiro’s birthday somewhere around here. He didn’t know when her birthday was yet. He would ask eventually, he definitely wasn’t avoiding asking, no sir.
It wasn’t in his clothes. Nor was it anywhere else in his closet. Wasn’t under his bed. Not on his shelf anywhere. Not under his clock. Not in his bag. Tangled in his blankets maybe? No, didn’t seem like it. Where was it? That was literally the only one, he couldn’t replace it!
“Kaminari?” a familiar voice asked.
At that point, a pre-quirk hero meme popped into his head. Anakin. Start Panakin. I don’t have a Planakin.
Quickly getting out of the pile of clothes he was searching through, he stood up. Why couldn’t he see? Oh, that was a pair of pants on his head. He tossed it off, smiling sheepishly.
“Heya, Jiro! Whatcha doing?”
His room was a mess….
“I was going to ask if you returned my mic stand, but now I’m confused. What are you doing?” she asked, tilting her head.
Kaminari thought about it for a moment. What should he say? He definitely couldn’t tell her he lost her surprise birthday present. So… Half truth it is!, “I can’t find something I lost that definitely is in no way supposed to be a surprise birthday present for you haha!”
There was only silence except for apparent screams of 1-B rage from a certain copycat watching his friend get kidnapped by obvious secret agents for 1-A.
All sorts of shiny items would go missing over the next few days. One of Yaoyorozu’s dolls, Midoriya’s dumbbells, Kirishima’s friend Tetsutetsu, etc.
When 1-A had had enough, they all came together to plan in the commons.
Kaminari was crying over… something. He hadn’t actually said what he had gotten stolen. Jiro awkwardly patted his back as she talked.
“So, what are we gonna do? The Crows have taken everything,” she started.
“WE BLOW THEM ALL TO HELL!” Bakugo yelled, still smoldering over getting robbed of his prized All Might figure, one he polished every day… and also his hearing aids. Bakugo had been threatening the crows since morning, promising vengeance.
Koda waved his hands in apparent panic, presumably from Bakugo’s yelling… or so he’d have you believe. In actuality, he was signaling to the Shoji to signal the crows that Phase 2 was a go.
“Koda could talk to them. Ask them what they want. Can you do that Koda?” Midoriya asked him.
Koda bobbed his head up and down too fast for anyone to notice his devious grin, save for Shoji.
“WHAT IS EVERYONE SAYING!?”
Koda talked to the crows about their day, already knowing the next part of the plan. He signed back the apparent message.
“THEY WANT MY MONEY TOO?! I’LL KILL THEM! ALSO THEIR DEMANDS ARE COINS EQUALING 100 YEN FROM EACH OF US!”
Koda nodded.
Class 1-A looked at each other, coming to an agreement.
And so 1-A got their prized possessions back, 1-B got a traumatized Tetustetsu, and Koda got the 2000 Yen he needed to buy his favorite cola.
And 2 Extremely Buff Crows overtook the underground crime rings, but that’s a story for another time.