Archive of Our Own

The birds go quiet.

Kyoujurou comes to a stop. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes, trying to centre his thoughts. His hair brushes against his forehead, tousled in the wind. It sings a slow, mournful melody through the trees surrounding him.

He knows he's not alone. There's a deep, steady thrum pulsing through him. 

Akaza is near.

The ever present guilt and shame at being so in tune with a demon is quiet. Kyoujurou has a had a long week; for once, he lets himself simply relax into the comforting presence of Upper Moon Three.

"How long are you just going to watch me?" he asks.

A short sigh follows his question.

"I haven't seen you in days, Kyoujurou. Allow me this indulgence."

As always, Kyoujurou has to swallow back dozens of questions in response.

Akaza finally reveals himself, stepping out onto the path the slayer had paused on. He has a lazy grin on his face, gaze fixed upon Kyoujurou. 

The moon is only a thin crescent in the sky. The forest is dark. He can hardly see, but the demon's eyes shine gold in the shadows.

"If you're looking for a fight, you'll have to come back another night."

Akaza hums, leaning against the tree behind him, arms crossed. 

"You have been busy, haven't you. It took me awhile to find you this time."

Kyoujurou huffs out a laugh. "Perhaps I was trying to avoid you," he suggests.

Akaza's eyes narrow. Between one moment and the next, he moves to stand behind the hashira. Kyoujurou doesn't even flinch, his defences lowered, armed with the knowledge that Akaza isn't going to harm him.

"We both know that's not true. You're a terrible liar, Kyoujurou." The demon slayer's name rolls out of the demon's mouth like a caress.

A hand comes up to rest on his right hip, warmth leaking through the material separating them.

"You're injured. I can see you trying to hide it, but your stance is different than usual," Akaza says.

Indeed, the demon that Kyoujurou had fought tonight had thrown him into a tree. He's sure a bruise has spread across his entire hip, but Akaza's touch is so gentle, he can scarcely feel it.

It was a humiliating mistake. He's at the point of exhaustion that he's getting sloppy, and hadn't wanted Akaza to know that a demon so much weaker than him had managed to cause damage.

"I am quite alright! It's not even worth mentioning!"

His entire side aches with every step.

The hand disappears, Akaza stepping around to face him. He habitually stands a couple inches too close to be considered acceptable. 

He gives Kyoujurou a thorough once-over, hands slowly clenching and relaxing. Akaza always seems to be holding back from doing...something whenever he's around Kyoujurou. He gets hints of Akaza's desires, from eyes sliding over his form to blue tipped fingers gently tracing paths across his body, ever so quick, whenever they fight.

The hashira wonders how much longer he'll be able to claim deniability to what they are so obviously hurdling towards, no end in sight.

Yet still, there are walls to break down, boundaries to cross, before either one of them will give in.

"I suppose this means you'll be going back to your inn to get some rest?" 

Kyoujurou's chest feels tight with how many unspoken questions there are between them.

I suppose this means our time will be cut short?

"I should do a final patrol of the mountain, to make sure all demons have been eradicated. Will you be sticking around?"

I'm staying just for you; won't you stay as well?

Not even Total Concentration can relieve the pressure.

"Where else would I go?" 

Where else am I as happy as when I'm with you? 

As Kyoujurou starts moving again, Akaza simply walks backwards, his eyes two beacons guiding Kyoujurou's way.

For the first time in many days, Kyoujurou sleeps deep into the afternoon, trying to catch up on weeks of being pushed beyond his limits. He hasn't had the chance to go back to his estate in a month, multiple missions on the road taking him farther and farther away. But tonight he will start making his way back, the promise of a warm meal from Senjuro the only thing keeping him going.

It's partially Akaza's fault. With how much he trails after Kyoujurou, the usual area he was tasked with to keep clear from demons started to remain empty. No demon has any desire to encroach on Upper Moon Three's claimed territory. Expanding his patrol route, as well as carrying out missions only a hashira can claim victories from, mean's Kyoujurou finds himself going home less.

Yet somehow, he harbours no resentment towards Akaza. His ability to look on the bright side is unparalleled at this point. (If all demons are avoiding the area around the Rengoku Estate, he doesn't have to worry about Senjurou nearly as much)

Kyoujurou finally rises, writes a mission report for Kaname to take to Ubuyashiki-sama, as well as a heads-up to his brother that he will be home soon. He cleans up the meagre amount of belongings he carries, repairs a loose strap on his small pack, and pretends he isn't purposefully waiting to travel at night so he can spend it with Akaza.

The innkeeper only spares him a short glance as he leaves. Those wandering through the town offer him a wide berth, curious and fearful gazes following him. Kyoujurou keeps a smile firm on his face, eyes on the horizon, watching the sun slowly set.

Once he is a few kilometres out, his smile drops. Bringing a hand up to rub at his forehead, he lets out a deep sigh. It still gets to him, sometimes. How he treats everyone with kindness and respect, only to get forced niceties and flinches in return. There are exceptions, of course. Those who know what the demon slayers are, who shower him with gratitude. The refuges of the Wisteria Houses. Food stall owners who appreciate his undying enthusiasm he has towards their food.

Kyoujurou, of course, doesn't treat people well for something in return. It is simply his natural instinct. Even so, it can get tiring, being endlessly enthusiastic and never to be met with the same exuberance. 

That was, of course, until Akaza.

"Why the long face, Kyoujurou?" 

The demon falls into step with him, shoulders brushing. Kyoujurou sends hims a genuine smile, Akaza's face lighting up with one as well.

"I don't know what you mean!"

"Hmm. Are you on a mission right now?"

"I am not! I am headed back to my estate for a short break."

Instantly, Akaza blocks his path, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Fight me," he requests, breathlessly.

He does not have to ask twice.

The trading of blows is a familiar dance between them at this point. Akaza is relentless, in both his punches and his praise. There's a constant flush on Kyoujurou's face, which he blames on the exertion of the fight.

He brings his blade up in a flaming arc, cutting off Akaza's leg from the ankle down, stopping a kick that would've shattered his skull. Akaza just spins away, foot growing back within the second. 

Kyoujurou chases after him, reaching a speed that only Upper Moon Three demands. It's breathtaking, the clash of their blows, blue and orange lighting up the night. His nichirin blade sings, effortlessly slicing through the arms that endlessly reach for him.

Some time later, they reach a stalemate. Akaza, unwilling to strike a killing blow (yet. he must remind himself that this can't end in stalemates forever), while Kyoujurou holds his sword against the demon's neck. 

While he's panting, sweat dripping down into his eyes, Akaza remains unruffled. He wonders if his stamina ever ends.

"The kiss of your blade is the sweetest I have ever touched," he murmurs, breaking the stillness they held themselves in. 

"Yet your hands have caused me nothing but pain!" Kyoujurou responds.

A petulant look overtakes Akaza's face. "That's not true."

They relax, Kyoujurou sheathing his sword, once again walking side by side. 

"I don't see how it's not true! You have broken my ribs, given me a concussion, dislocated my shoulder, and more!"

"Yet you still fight me. Bit of a masochist, huh, Kyoujurou."

A bright laugh fills the night.

"You keep coming back. What am I to do if not fight you?"

I dare you, say something, ask me-

"What will you let me do?"

Ask me to touch you.

Kyoujurou sucks in a breath, risking a glance at the demon beside him. Akaza stares back, mischievous and beautiful. Unafraid to knock down the last few barriers.

"I..."

"Think about it." With that, Akaza disappears, letting Kyoujuro be left wanting more. He wonders if this is how the demon feels at every sunrise, when the hashira goes to live his life in the sun.

Think about it, he said.

As if Kyoujurou would be able to do anything else. He travels the rest of the night and day, only stopping for food and a short nap in the sunshine. He dreams-dreams of snow, a roaring hearth, and blue tipped fingers tracing his lips. He wakes embarrassed and eager to move on.

It's a little unfair, how Akaza needs only utter a few words, and Kyoujurou gets this worked up. He wonders what the demon is currently doing, where he is, and if his thoughts are only of the other as well. If not, what he'd have to do to even the playing field.

Once the sun dips below the horizon, a sense of anticipation hangs in the air.

I refuse to be the first one to break.

Fireflies are flitting about the the fields that surround him. Cicadas provide a melody for him to travel to. He's ready, he won't break, he'll get Akaza just as worked up as him-

"How I missed you, Kyoujurou," he whispers, just next to the hashira's ear.

It's spoken with teasing lilt, even though he knows the demon means it.

What an interesting game they play, two incredibly straight forward, honest men, determined to dance around the truth.

"You are the one that left first!"

The demon laughs. "What, were you hoping to spend the night together?"

He refuses to fall for such obvious bait. Ears burning, he strides forward with purpose. 

"Ah, Kyoujurou, why in such a rush? I thought we could have fun tonight," he says, pleased as could be.

"I have places to be!"

How, how does Akaza manage it so easily? Still, Kyoujurou is never one to back down from a challenge.

"Can you not keep up?" he asks. "Should I slow down?"

"I think we could go faster, actually," Akaza suggests, peeking at Kyourjurou with an amused grin.

"You should consider having some patience."

Akaza sighs. "I've been patient, Kyoujurou. Just allow me one more thing."

He frowns.

"If you ask me to become a demon, you already know-"

"That's not what I was going to ask." 

A change in the normal routine.

Peering at him out of the corner of his eye, Kyoujurou lets out a low chuckle.

"Are you pouting?"

A kick is sent to the back of his legs. He swiftly dodges, continuing to laugh. It's easy to get distracted with Akaza, caught up in their conversation. He wishes, not for the first time, that they had met in a different life, one where they both wore the uniform of the corps, could fight together, instead of against each other.

But there is a certain thrill in the forbidden.

"Go on, ask me then."

Silence. That's perfectly fine, Kyoujurou is happy to wait. He once again listens to the cicadas, taking a deep breath, smelling the dew that has gently dropped onto the fields. It is a lovely night.

"Can I touch your hair?"

Kyoujurou comes to a stop. That is not what he was expecting. Chancing a look next to him, Akaza's face is earnest and open.

"I do not see why not!"

But why?

Gently, Akaza runs a hand through his bangs, before tucking them find his ear. He's entirely focused on the motion, allowing Kyoujurou free range to watch his face, examine the admiration on it, and wonder when a demon became who he is closest with.

"Did you get what you wanted?"

The demon smirks, hands tracing a path down Kyoujurou's cheek before returning to his side.

"Not even close."

As Kyoujurou walks during the day, he has a lot of time to think. The two of them had dared to get more bold the night before, until Kyoujurou's lack of sleep started to catch up to him and he found an inn to stay at. 

For the rest of the night Akaza would pause at various moments, just to run a hand through Kyoujurou's hair, fidget with the ends, and push it out of his face. There didn't seem to be any ulterior motives behind it; it truly just seemed to make the demon happy. The attention left him flustered and warm, unable to get the upper hand over Akaza the entire night.

But tonight, this time, this time. He'd get the demon just as flustered as him. Just once. That's all he wants.

Akaza is not the only thing he spends his time dwelling over. He'll arrive home in the early morning, and is hoping to spend at least two days with his brother. He hopes his father will sleep through most of his visit, as it was getting harder to smile through the insults he spits Kyoujurou's way.

Still, the majority of his time is spent pondering Akaza, and the journey of their...acquaintanceship. Kyoujurou had truly hated him upon their first meeting, their clash of beliefs bothering him more than the injuries he had sustained. Everything Akaza raved about went against the very core of who Kyoujurou is. The beliefs placed onto him by his mother, the promise he made to her being the foundation of who he is today.

And yet.

Meeting Kamado Tanjiro and seeing how Nezuko fought demons to protect humans left Kyoujurou questioning almost everything he had ever known. It made his worldview tilt on it's axis, many days spent ruminating over the miraculousness of the Kamado siblings. Opening his brain to more possibilities, possibilities he'd never dare say out loud.

After that, Akaza had refused to leave him alone. They fought many times, Kyoujurou's anger fueling him as he and Upper Moon Three came to blows. Slowly, though, Akaza wore him down. The endless praise coming from the demon's mouth. The thrill of fighting a worthy opponent. The pure excitement he showed at spending time with Kyoujurou.

Slowly, instead of fighting, they'd spend the nights talking. Peeling back layers of each other to find shocking truths, such as the fact that Akaza doesn't harm women. That he received special permission to do so. Kyoujurou started to realize how much a demon's past human life affected the demon they became, even if it was forgotten. How it often resulted in a corrupted, broken set of beliefs, such as Akaza's. While he can't begin to guess what the demon went through before Muzan found him, he can see the barest slivers peeking through sometimes.

Slowly, Kyoujurou started to burn with something other than anger: want.

He ignored it, of course. It was insane, for the flame pillar, a carrier of the Rengoku legacy, to feel this way. What's worse is that he soon started to seek the demon out, not for a fight, but for his company. To make him laugh. So he could spend a few hours relaxed, able to drop the expectations of the world.

In the life of a hashira, where duty comes first, where all their time is spent dedicated to saving the lives of others, it's hard not to accept comfort where you can.

Akaza's presence is a good distraction from the constant horrors in his life. It makes him feel his actual age, like he's just a young man spending time with a friend. Not a man with the weight of dozens of lives his shoulders.

The irony of it being Upper Moon Three that makes him feel this way is not lost on Kyoujurou.

Sighing, he takes a look at the sun, counting down the hours till night will fall.

"Tell me something no body else knows about you," Akaza asks.

Kyoujurou hums, thinking hard. He's quite the open person. He has very few secrets, and Akaza already knows him better than most.

He tells him as such, which makes a pleased smile stretch across the demons face.

"Surely you must have some secrets, Kyoujurou." 

The flame pillar grimaces, unsure if he should be annoyed or amused.

"You are my secret, Akaza."

That makes the demons eyes light up, his laugh ringing through the empty forest around them.

While Kyoujurou had informed Ubuyashiki-sama that Upper Moon Three sought him out and they often fought, he did not know about how much their relationship went beyond that. He shivers while trying to imagine the other hashira's reactions to how close he is with the demon.

"I think there is something wrong with me!"

Akaza quickly looks him up and down, confirms he's not injured, appearing puzzled.

"But you're perfect, Kyoujurou."

He closes his eyes, letting the words wash over him. Sometimes, it almost hurts, how freely Akaza shows his admiration for Kyoujurou. Makes something deep in his chest crack open, the awful sensation of falling coming over him.

"I do not mean in the physical sense! The fact that a demon knows me best, and who I spend the majority of my time with is what I was referring to!"

Akaza rolls his eyes.

"I thought we were over this." He sounds annoyed, hurt bleeding into his voice.

Kyoujurou hides a smile. "Do not worry, Akaza. It was merely a joke!" 

The demon shoots him a glare, arms crossed. 

"You really need to work on your delivery."

The hashira shakes his head in exasperation, amusement rolling off of him.

They walk in silence for a bit, tranquility coating the air around them. The simple joy of being next to one another, unchanging.

They do have a short spar just before the sun rises. It ends with Akaza's head resting between his shoulder blades, just for a moment.

"Kyoujurou," he gasps, but is gone by the time he's turns around.

Kyoujurou arrives home early enough that Senjurou shouldn't be awake, but he's there, waiting in the garden to greet him.

"Kyou!"

He runs toward his brother, who laughs and catches him tight in his arms. He holds Senjurou like that for some time, breathing in the smell of home. The comfort of holding his brother in his arms slowly allows him to fully relax. Once he sets him down, the younger Rengoku drags him into the kitchen, excitedly showing the large breakfast he made for them.

Kyoujurou regales him with stories of his time on the road, going into detail about the different foods he ate, and the beautiful landscapes he saw. Senjurou listens with huge eyes, intent on absorbing every bit of information that he can.

Kaname stands on a perch on the engawa, basking in the sun. The shoji doors remain open, the sweet scent of late summer floating through the house. Kyoujurou stays awake as long as he can, helping Senjurou with chores around the house. After a quick nap, he checks in on his father, who's steady breathing is the only thing that he greets him. He says a quick prayer for his continued health before heading outside to practice his sword forms. Senjurou hangs up laundry nearby.

"Did you meet anyone special?" he asks.

Kyoujurou smiles, a flash of pink hair and bright eyes crossing his mind. 

"Not this time!"

His brother hums to mask his disappointment. His sword whistles as he goes through First Form: Unknowing Fire. The songs birds continue to chirp. Kyoujurou is at peace.

After supper, they play shogi. Senjurou thoroughly beats him, his lips quivering from how hard he's trying to hold back a laugh at his older brother's surprised face.

"You have improved so much in a very short time!" he remarks.

Senjurou shrugs, looking embarrassed at the praise. Ah, they are so alike.

"Kanroji-san stopped for a visit. She taught me some tricks."

Kyoujurou nods, happy to hear Senjurou gets company while he is gone, even if he's sad to have missed the Love Pillar himself. They haven't talked in far too long, both so busy in the never ending fight against demons. Perhaps he has been a bit distracted, as well.

His musing is interrupted as his brother yawns, so he urges him to go to sleep, concerned about how long of a day it must've been for him. He never wants Senjurou to know what it's like trying to function on as little sleep as he does.

Kyoujurou is meditating on the engawa outside his room when Akaza shows up. Rather than interrupt him, the demon takes a seat. Soon, their breaths lull into a steady pattern. Peeking an eye open, he realizes instead of having his eyes closed, Akaza sits just watching him. It makes a flame bloom in his chest, warming him from the inside out.

"You look happy," he notices.

"I am home! Of course I'm happy."

Kyoujurou regrets keeping his eyes closed, as all the sudden there is a nose nudging its way into his neck, a hot puff of air making him shiver.

"You smell good," Akaza says, leaning into him. 

"I-hm," he swallows, choking on his words a little as his companion just continues to breathe him in. "I bathed just before this, and Kanroji gifted us some very nice soap on her last visit!"

The demon pulls back, frowning.

"Kanroji?"

"The Love Pillar! She is a very dear friend of mine. I trained her myself!"

The demon relaxes at his words, a look of wonder appearing on his face.

"Oh? How many others have you trained? Anybody worth fighting?" Akaza sounds a bit hungry, eyes already alight with the thought of a fight.

A wave of possessiveness sweeps over Kyoujurou, much to his horror.

"There are no others! Everybody else who has trained under me has ended up quitting," he admits, a little ashamed. It's not something he likes to think about.

Akaza seems amused, however.

"You cannot teach others to have a fighting spirit such as yours, Kyoujurou. You're special. I'm not surprised they didn't last, I doubt such weaklings could handle it," he sniffs, lip curling.

The hashira just shakes his head, used to Akaza's bizarre thought process.

"You're quite ridiculous, I hope you know."

"But you like me anyway, Kyoujurou."

They look at each other, daring one another to take that first step off the cliff.

"You're right," he reaches a hand out, cupping Akaza's jaw. "I do like you."

Abruptly, two purple blotches darken the demon's face. His mouth falls open the barest hint, his eyes widening.

Kyoujurou pumps a fist of victory inside his own head. He finally figured it out. All he has to do to fluster Akaza is be emotionally vulnerable.

"That's not fair, Kyoujurou. You're supposed to deny it," he whispers, looking away.

He snorts. "Says who?" Pulling his hand back, Akaza mockingly snaps his fangs at it, avoiding eye contact.

"You, every other time I've even hinted at the possibility." 

Kyoujurou laughs, patting the other's knee.

"You've said it yourself; I'm a horrible liar," he points out.

Akaza just scoffs and scoots closer until their sides touch. A bit belatedly, Kyoujurou realizes he doesn't even have his sword on him. It's tucked away back in his room, in need of a good cleaning. He wonders if they'll fight tonight, his body tingling at the possibility. 

Oh god. He'll be in so much trouble if he starts getting aroused when sparring with the other pillars.

"Do you know any hand to hand martial art techniques?" Akaza asks a little while later, in the midst of tracing snowflake-shaped patterns onto Kyoujurou's thigh. The flickering light of a candle casts a soft light on the two of them. He looks soft and young like this, here at Kyoujurou's home. An unwelcome guest that Kyoujurou lets in with open arms.

"Very little! I've spent the majority of my training on my flame breathing, but it's always good to be well prepared!"

Kyoujurous waits, one, two,

"Fight me. Just hand to hand. Let me see you," he implores. 

Do you ever look away? 

He guides Akaza through the garden into a clearing in the trees surrounding the estate. Kyoujurou is in a plain pair of hakama pants and a linen shirt. Like this, without his slaying uniform, the separation between them feels smaller. He ties his hair up, hyperaware of Akaza's eyes fixated upon the motion. 

Once they are both in a proper stance, Akaza attacks first. It's quite disorienting, to be facing him without a sword. This is the biggest disadvantage he could put himself at, yet Kyoujurou did it without a second thought.

It does not take long for Akaza to get the best of him, holding his arms in a lock and an ankle wrapped around his own, able to trip him at any moment. He expects a teasing remark, the start of a verbal spar to take place as they trade blows in the near darkness. Akaza is silent, however, his face calm and calculating. After a few minutes, Kyoujurou can't stand it, the silence, and the repetitive losing.

"I didn't expect you to be so quiet!" he remarks. 

Akaza comes to a stop. "Do you miss my voice?" he teases, dodging a punch as easy as breathing. "Or, did you get so used to me complimenting you as we fought, that your ego is a little bruised?"

The gall of this demon.

"That is not what I was implying!"

Akaza flips him over his shoulder. Kyoujurou lands on his feet and backs away, taking a few seconds to take stock of the situation. He's fought Akaza dozens of times, he's seen the way he fights. While he was using a sword, he was still constantly cataloguing how the demon fought. He's sure he can replicate some of it, with the right openings.

Backing away from a flurry of punches, he spots it: the upcoming opening once Akaza switches to a new stance. It'll be half a second, but if he just-

Kyoujurou slams Akaza onto his back, holding an elbow instead of a sword at his throat. Neither one of them moves; he thinks they're both surprised he managed that.

"Become a demon, Kyoujurou," Akaza gasps, looking up at him in complete awe. 

It breaks the spell. Kyoujurou moves away, turning his back on him.

"That's enough sparring. I need sleep." 

"You're leaving?" He can hear the irritation in Akaza's voice, probably wondering when Kyoujurou became so sensitive.

"Indeed. Goodnight, Akaza."

He goes to sleep with a bitter taste in his mouth, wondering if he's imagined all the times Akaza's face softened when looking at him.

Kyoujurou spends another night at home with his brother before he's sent on another mission. Saying goodbye to Senjurou is as hard as ever, and he holds him for a long time. He doesn't promise to come back home more. He can't. But he will try.

Akaza doesn't visit him for a week. He hopes he's busy with whatever Muzan has him doing, not off killing hundreds in a rage. Considering he hasn't heard anything out of the ordinary, he guesses the first one.

Shaking off thoughts of Akaza, Kyoujurou focuses not he demon in front of him. It has three heads, nine arms, and a long slithering trunk instead of legs. 

How do some demons end up so grotesque while Akaza is so beautiful ?

Mortified at his own thought, he quickly kills the demon and speed walks back to his inn. Perhaps the space is good for them.

Of course, as soon as Kyoujurou steps into his room, he spots Akaza laying back on his futon, waiting for him. 

"Good evening! You know it's rude to break into other people's rooms without their permission!"

Akaza raises a brow at him. "You're not exactly other people, are you Kyoujurou?"

He flushes at that, choosing to ignore the demon to instead take off his haori. He neatly folds it, then reaches back to untie the top part of his hair.

A cool hand stops his.

"May I?"

Holding in a shiver, Kyoujurou nods. He sits down onto his knees, and lets Akaza pull his hair tie out. He then starts to comb his fingers through the mess. It's quiet between the two of them, like they're both afraid of breaking the tranquility that has descended upon them. Kyoujurou has no interest in fighting tonight.

There's a single candle lighting the room. He watches it slowly melt as Akaza continues to gently detangle his hair. It feels incredibly intimate. Enough that Kyoujurou hardly dares to breathe, unsure of what might set Akaza off.

In the end, there's no choice for either of them. Akaza stiffens, pulling his hands back. 

"I need to go," he grits out, sounding bothered. Kyoujurou doesn't get a chance to see his face again before he's gone.

The end, of course, starts with a fight: They're in the middle of a field, the moon shining bright. It illuminates the smug confidence rolling off Akaza in waves, as he pushes Kyoujurou harder, harder, each of them getting faster and faster, no where near stopping. It's intoxicating, the feel of it; the push and pull, focused only on each other. Constantly reading each other's forms, analyzing for the next move, getting close only to jump back.

"You're so strong, Kyoujurou!" Akaza cries. He sends a shockwave out, which Kyoujurou slides under and stops behind him, aiming a slash at his neck. Akaza dips backwards, dodging a second before the blade would have dug in. 

His foot sweeps in a wide arc, causing Kyoujurou to jump back. Akaza chases after, aiming a punch for his shoulder. Too late, Kyoujurou realizes it's a feint, and misses the leg hooking around him until they both fall. Akaza straddles his hips, hands going to wrap around the hashira's neck. Not to be outdone, he forces his sword into the demon's own neck. They both stop, panting, body's alight with adrenaline. 

"You haven't gotten a hit on my neck in ages, Kyoujurou." Akaza's voice drips over him, sweeter than honey.

"If you had squeezed any harder, I never would've had the chance to," he rasps, sounding absolutely wrecked. Akaza's eyes close, and for the first time since Kyoujurou has met him, he looks pained.

"Akaza?"

"Kyoujurou. Allow me one more thing," Akaza says, echoing the words he asked him just a few weeks ago. A new desperation bleeds through that wasn't there a second ago. There are still hands wrapped around Kyourjurou's throat and a sword in Akaza's neck.

"What is it?" He's whispering, a sense of anticipation filling up his entire body, his heart starting to beat out of his chest.

Ask me, ask me, ask me, god, please end this.

"I-"

Kyoujurou doesn't give him a chance to ask before he's surging up, pressing his lip's against Akaza's. This way, they take the final jump off this precipice they've been balancing on together.

Time stands still for a moment. The realization that they've finally given in settling into their bones. Then Akaza groans, digging his hands into Kyoujurou's hair. It quickly becomes frantic, weeks-no, months of holding back coming to a head. Kyoujurou's starting to get quite caught up in it when his own sword hilt starts digging into him, and he realizes it's still inside Akaza.

He wrenches back, a little horrified, opening his mouth to ask him why Akaza hasn't taken it out. Before he can, however, Akaza's eyes widen, and before Kyoujurou can blink, he's gone.

His sword is drops down beside him. 

There's a certain roughness in Kyoujurou's fighting the next few nights, demons meeting quick brutal ends. His smile is absent, eyes clouded over as he eats deep in thought. He replays the last fight he and Akaza had over and over, cheeks still warming when he remembers how it ended.

What he doesn't understand is why Akaza left so quickly. It made Kyoujurou's entire body feel hollow. He knows that's what Akaza wanted. It has to be. All those teasing remarks, touches that lingered. Eyes that never left him. Seeking Kyoujurou out, night after night. 

Setting his (tenth) empty bowl down, he bows to the server, thanks them, and starts heading back to his estate. The only good this week is that his next mission takes him in the direction of home, so he will spend a night there on his way.

The sun is warm on his face. Every now and then, he genuinely mourns that Akaza never gets to feel it again. It's a sobering thought. Reminds him of the large gap between them. Yet still, Kyoujurou wants.

He craves.

Once Kyoujurou arrives home that evening, he helps Senjurou rake the leaves that have started to fall. He forces any thought or feeling about Akaza down, beaming so wide at his brother it hurts. Once they rake all the leaves up, Kyoujurou picks up Senjurou and throws him in the pile, throwing his head back in laughter at his brothers affronted face, leaves clinging to his golden hair.

They enjoy a delicious meal together, Kyoujurou sharing memories that he has of their mother. He has a short conversation with his father, who doesn't bother looking back at him. He tells himself it stopped hurting years ago.

As the sun dips below the horizon, he enjoys a thorough bath, the comfort of being in his home making him stay and soak longer than usual. Once out, he brushes his hair, staring at his reflection. He washes his demon slayer uniform, hanging it to dry. He stares at the kanji for destroy and wonders how he let himself go so far down this path.

Sucking in a deep breath, Kyoujurou sits down on the engawa, finally allowing his mind to wander back to the pink haired menace that his heart aches for. When did it get this bad? How had he allowed this? When did the shame at having feelings for a demon go away?

The trees to his left creak. The candles burning don't reach high enough for him to see into the branches, but he knows what's there. Who's there.

Neither speak. Kyoujurou hardly dares to move, not wanting to scare Akaza off again. 

The moon drags itself across the sky. The soft wind that had been blowing throughout the day dies down. One of Kyoujurou's candles goes out, having reached the end of its wick. Still, Akaza doesn't move. 

For him to have found Kyoujurou this fast means that he had never stopped following him, just kept his distance.

"You know," Kyoujurou starts, speaking so softly, if Akaza wasn't so still he wouldn't be able to hear him. "I have no regrets in my life. It seems unlikely, considering my job. But I do my best in every situation, and just have to believe that is enough."

Silence.

"Even when I faced Upper Moon Three,  the wreckage of a train behind me, two hundred people to protect. I did not regret any choices I made that led me to that moment. Nor any choices that I made after."

A slight shift in the shadows.

Kyoujurou hesitates, feeling foolish. But he has always charged ahead, no matter the consequences. 

"Even when I kissed Upper Moon Three and he ran away, I still don't regret it."

Finally, finally, Akaza jumps down, light as a cat on his feet. 

"I did not run away," he huffs.

An intense wave of relief washes over Kyoujurou. He smiles.

"What would you call it?"

Soft and quick, Akaza comes to sit beside him. They stare up at the moon together.

"You looked so horrified when you pulled back."

Kyoujurou blinks. "Is that it?"

Akaza sends him a sharp look. 

"I waited months to do that Kyoujurou. Yet you pulled away and looked at me disgusted."

He shouldn't, he can't, it'll make Akaza run away-

Kyoujurou laughs, snatching Akaza's wrist when he stands.

"I looked horrified because my sword was still in your neck!"

While he laughs, Akaza's mouth drops open. Silhouetted by the moon, pouting down at Kyoujurou, looking both embarrassed and mad, he hardly looks like a demon, and more like a boy. A flushed, embarrassed teenager.

Kyoujurou tugs him down. He plops down on his lap, to no surprise. 

"So it was a misunderstanding, then," Akaza mumbles, falling forward to lean his head against the warm shoulder in front of him.

Kyoujurou brings his hands up to Akaza's waist, having admired it many times, no longer holding back.

"I suppose so," he agrees.

A breath. Two. Three.

Lips start to trace a path up to Kyoujurou's jaw. Then the feeling of fangs join in. He shivers, not out of fear. 

He catches those lips in his, finally surrendering.

After, Kyoujurou rests his chin on Akaza's chest, arms tucked around each other. A thought occurs to him, making him frown.

"Akaza," he whispers, a sense of trepidation coming over him. "How old are you?"

The demon lifts himself up on his elbows, affectionately looking down at Kyoujurou. 

"A couple hundred years, I guess. You know this already."

"Yes, but how old were you when you got turned?"

Akaza's nose scrunches up at the thought of his human life, but he dutifully thinks back, eyes raising to the ceiling. 

"Hmm. I believe I was 18. Why?"

Kyoujurou scrambles up until he's sitting on his knees, an appalled look on his face. 

Akaza frowns at him, bewildered at his reaction.

"Kyoujurou?"

"You're younger than me?"

"Wha-Kyoujurou, I'm over 200 years old! Where are you going! Come back! Kyoujurou!"