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Things have been better, since that night Peter knocked Tony on his ass, emotionally. Sure, he still has tendencies to fall within his own head, but he’s been a lot better at catching himself lately, a lot more aware of when it’s happening.
He’s also kinda aware that he made a mistake.
Well, he won’t exactly call it a mistake—
Though the word does come up, a lot, when he thinks of where they are and what they left behind. He was so goddamn happy, to have finally found a family, to have finally made one on his own, and then he just—rocketed out of there like a dying star.
But he tries to make the best of the situation he’s put them in, at least for now. He tries to make plans for the future—tries to plan a real go of it here, for him and for Pete, and then heading back to New York when the time is right. Maybe right before middle school, so he doesn’t disrupt the kid’s life too much. He can’t do that anymore. He needs to be straight and steady, from now on.
He knows that’s a fucking fever dream, if there ever was one. Him? Straight and steady? He’s neither of those things. Sometimes he feels like there’s some kind of hex on him, and other times he’s distinctly Aware that he’s just like this. And he doesn’t like to think about that too hard, because then he starts getting into the why the hell do these people even deal with me shit and I don’t even deserve them and especially not Peter and he knows that’s not the way to go.
Tony pinches the bridge of his nose and looks to his right where Pepper’s standing.
“Listen,” she says. “We’re right on time.”
“We are eighteen years off schedule.”
She shifts a little bit. “You can go and I’ll make your excuses. But you’d have to wait for Happy to drive back unless you want to commandeer one of their company cars, and he’d have to come back to get me when it’s over—it’d be a whole thing. Though I’m sure they would let you take a car. You are, after all, you.”
He sighs, and leans against the wall. They’re touring the new manufacturing warehouse that Stark Industries just paired with last week, and this is one in a line of things that Tony didn’t realize he’d signed himself up for. Literally three hours away from home, and Happy had to drive all the way back because the security inductions were today, too. Tony knows he’s gonna keep finding this shit, and cursing his past self for being so out of it and unaware of what decisions he was making or what he was doing, but he figures he has to live his life with some measure of accountability. And of course for Peter, always for Peter, but for everything.
“No,” Tony says to her, heaving another big sigh. “We’ll finish it together. We’ll see all the nooks and crannies and new offices and whatever—”
“They’re manufacturing the Keller drone, so we should be very aware of what’s going on here,” Pepper says, raising her eyebrows at him.
Tony winces a little bit.
He feels out of the game already. He feels like he’s been out of the game for a long time now, before all of the insanity. He doesn’t know if it’s the best time to be making decisions, but maybe by the end of the year he can start thinking about it. Changing all this to something he’s proud of. Something that doesn’t make him feel like he’s being stabbed every time it’s mentioned. He doesn’t wanna be this guy anymore—he doesn’t know if he was ever this guy, but ever since Peter he feels like he’s masquerading as something his father wanted him to be. Something that Obie expects. Not something that he really is.
It repeats in his head. Over and over like a metronome.
Change your life, change your life, change your life. Make him proud, make him proud, make him proud.
But that Him isn’t Howard anymore. Or Obie.
It’s little Mr. Sunshine. Little curly head, little Tiny Tall. The one that hugs him the tightest before he leaves for school and whispers promises against his shoulder.
Tonight we’re gonna finish james and the giant peach and then i’m gonna draw the peach and then we’re gonna make peach cobbler we are gonna do all of these things okay? okay deal and break and i love you
“You’re very much in your own head today,” Pepper says, as they start walking again, down the long corridor into the third parts warehouse and manufacturing line. “But not in the, uh, same way as you were before. More...thoughtful, I guess?”
Tony grins at her, and rushes ahead a little bit to open the door for her. They had a guide for the first leg of the tour, and Tony knows they’re gonna run into the next one in a bit, here. But for now, he’s enjoying the alone time. Just out-and-out enjoying it, not overthinking it, not thinking about it at all. Just. Enjoying.
“Just thinking about monkey brain,” Tony says, as she walks into the warehouse, and he follows once she’s clear of the threshold. “He’s reading two grade levels above his own, and yesterday he was kicking Rhodey’s ass in that chemistry game. Soon Norman’s gonna be scalping my kid for a lead position at Oscorp and I’m gonna have to kill somebody.”
Pepper snorts. “I seem to recall that you don’t allow Oscorp to snatch your people so easily. So I doubt Mr. Pete will take that position, knowing how his dad feels about it.”
“I don’t know,” Tony says, holding his head high as they move into the machinery sounds of the warehouse. “He still talks to Harry on the phone, two of them little business men.”
“Did you wind up doing the three-way call with Ned?”
“Yes,” Tony says, laughing, remembering all the yelling and shrieks of happiness. “It was amazing. Busted eardrums were worth it.”
Pepper laughs too, grinning at him.
Tony clears his throat as they walk by some of the assembly lines, and he takes note of the standards and makes sure to remember to ask about breaks when they find the guide. “You wanna come for dinner tonight?” he asks, trying to be nonchalant, and most likely failing. “Pete’s about to finish James and the Giant Peach and he wants to make peach cobbler, because that’s how his brain works. So I gotta figure out what to pair with that, and I know my dinners aren’t up to par with Ben’s cooking, so…”
Not the best sounding invitation. But she knows him.
She...she knows him.
“Yeah,” she says, stepping out ahead of him. “I don’t have any other plans.”
~
His phone rings a little while later, and his heart rattles when he sees the school’s number flashing on the display. He gives Pepper a brief nod and steps off into the closest hallway, quickly answering the call with a healthy amount of fear in his heart.
“Hello—is Peter okay?” Tony asks, before they can even say anything.
“Mr. Stark?”
“Yes, yes,” Tony says, a spot at the base of his skull burning with anxiety. “You’re calling about Pete? Is he okay?”
“First, lemme say—we did have a little accident, but he is okay. We’re probably looking at a sprained ankle.”
The world sort of. Shifts. Catapults. Disintegrates.
She keeps talking. “As you well know, we’ve got professional doctors on site, part of what you’re paying for, but it would be better if you could get here as soon as you can. He’s in a little bit of pain but it’s mostly the being alone in this situation that’s startling him. Alone, as in, without family.”
Tony swallows hard and braces his free hand against the wall, a wave of dizziness rushing through him like getting caught underwater. “Oh, Jesus, uh—”
“I want to reiterate, he’s safe and we’ve got him, so there’s no need to panic.”
But of course there is. If Peter’s hurt, if Peter’s in the slightest bit of pain, that means Tony panics, and he’s panicking now and he’s trying to remember the English language and he’s three hours away, more with traffic and why the hell did the security shit have to be done today and he is gonna have to borrow a company car from this place, dammit, he is, and Happy—wait, Happy—
“Okay, uh, I’m a little ways away—hours, but can I send my friend to come sit with him? Until he can go home? He can take him home, too, if it comes to that, but I’m gonna try to get there as soon as I can, so, uh—before it gets to that point.”
“Yes, that’s fine, what’s the name? He’ll just have to present his driver’s license if he’s on the list.”
“He is,” Tony says, leaning back against the wall and trying to catch his breath for a moment. “Harold Hogan. Might have put him under Happy.”
“Alright, we’ll be looking out for him.”
Tony gets off the phone a moment or so later, and he stalks out to where Pepper is standing there waiting for him. He’s already dialing Happy’s number, and trying not to have a heart attack, and he presses the phone to his ear again.
“What happened?” Pepper asks, brows furrowed.
“Baby sprained his ankle at school,” Tony says, rolling his eyes, the tears already gathering. “I’m gonna ask Hap—”
“I’m almost done, Tony,” Happy says, when he picks up. “It’s just taking—”
“Listen, doesn’t matter,” Tony says, glancing up as the group of people that was with him and Pepper moves a little closer to him. “Peter got hurt at school. Sprained ankle and he needs someone there with him. I don’t want him to have to wait until you come all the way out here to get me, you think you can go over there and sit with him until I get there? I’ll find my way back.”
“Of course, boss,” Happy says, without hesitation. “Dropping everything—heading there now.”
“Thank you,” Tony says, letting out a big breath.
Happy hangs up without saying anything, which would normally weird Tony out a little bit, but in this instance, it signals focus and determination on the task at hand. Which is good.
“Mr. Stark has an emergency,” Pepper says to the group they’re with, before Tony can say anything. “His son is injured. We’re either going to need a ride or we’re going to need to borrow a vehicle. Whatever’s fastest.”
~
The head operational manager of the facility steps up real quick, eager to give up his rental and have his people come and pick it up at Tony’s earliest convenience. And Pepper drives, because Tony’s too goddamn shaky to do so on his own, and she’s somehow speeding and driving defensively at the same time.
“Why does this shit have to happen?” Tony asks, at about the one hour mark, once he’s come up for air from his horror-induced stupor.
“Accidents happen, Tony,” Pepper says, staring ahead at the road. “I know it’s hard when it’s him.”
“What could he possibly have been doing to sprain his ankle?” Tony breathes, shaking his head. He’s been inundated with images of Peter laying on the ground, wailing and yelling for him, and he’s wondering why the hell Happy hasn’t called yet.
“There’s PE in school.”
“I need to get him exempt from that,” Tony says, shaking his head again.
Pepper snorts. “Tony.”
But then his phone rings, and he nearly drops the thing trying to answer it.
“Hello?” he says, all insane, and he realizes he didn’t even look at who was calling.
“Sorry, boss,” Happy says. “I meant to call when I got here but I got caught up with everything going on. We’re actually at the hospital—”
Tony feels like he’s gonna fucking puke. “Uh.”
“They just did a quick x-ray to make sure it’s just a sprain, just being cautious, but he’s done with it now and I’m gonna take him home in a couple here. Here you go, here he is—” Tony hears something rustling, and then he hears Happy saying it’s your dad, buddy—
“Dad?” Peter says, with a little huff.
“Hi, hi, monkey,” Tony says. “How are you?”
“Bad,” Peter says, simply.
“I’m sorry, Petey,” Tony says, his chest going tight. “What happened, how did it happen?”
“We were shooting free throws and then we were running back and forth on the blacktop and then I jumped too high and I made the shot but then I jumped way too high and I came down and rolled over on my ankle and it was like snap and it hurts so bad.”
Tony squeezes his eyes shut tight. “Buddy. Ugh. Famous basketball player.”
“I know. And now I’m dead.”
Tony gets a little chill. “You’re not dead.”
“Where are you?” Petey asks, huffing again. “Close?”
“Super close,” Tony lies, and he feels Pepper speeding up. “I’m coming. I love you.”
“I love you most a million billion times but please hurry up before they cut my foot off.”
Tony laughs a bit, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Listen. I know you take things literally but whoever told you that is joking.”
“I don’t know, this time.”
Tony grins, filled with love and worry and everything else in the world. “I swear to you. Swear.”
“Okay okay okay hurry please please.”
“I’m coming monkey brain. I’m on my way.”
~
Happy calls again to let them know he’s at the house with Peter, and traffic picks up when they’re getting back into the city and Tony feels like he’s gonna lose his mind. He hasn’t called May and Ben yet and he knows he’s gotta do that, and he’s not exactly ready for the onslaught of panic he’s gonna get from them, piled on top of the panic he’s already feeling. The lack of their presence when anything happens to Peter reminds Tony of what he’s done, the decisions he’s made and why he made them, and he tries so hard not to fall into the headspace that Peter helped him escape.
He just has to...live. That’s it. Roll with the punches. Try and protect Peter as best as he can from things that touch him because his father is Tony Stark. But regular kids sprain their ankles playing school sports. That’s not...that’s not Tony’s fault, as much as he’d wanna take the blame to keep it off his kid, as much as he’d want it to never happen in the first place.
How does one recalibrate their brain? His is fucked up. Is this what Howard did? Probably. Most things are. Most things that are wrong with him cascade back to Howard Stark stepping on newly made robots and raising his hand to hit.
Pepper parks, and Tony launches himself out of the car.
“I’ll be right there,” she calls after him. “I’m ordering pizza and making arrangements for this car.”
“You’re amazing,” Tony calls, glancing back at her, and he means it, he means it, he really means it.
He rushes up the main pathway and scans in, and as soon as he moves into the atrium he can hear Happy and Peter talking.
“And he really won first place?” Peter asks.
“Buddy, famous people were coming to look at DUM-E,” Happy says. “Like the president and Cher.”
Peter laughs as Tony strides around, trying to figure out where their voices are coming from.
“I like Cher.”
“I know you do.”
“And DUM-E is also really funny and now I can see him all the time because he’s here and not at the workshop at work.”
“That’s right,” Happy says, and Tony realizes they’re in the office. He turns that way but stops in his tracks when he sees them. They’re sitting on the couch together, Happy’s arm around Peter’s shoulders and Peter leaning into his side. Peter’s leg is propped up on the desk chair, and he’s got a brace around his ankle and a bag of ice resting on it, too.
Tony was worried he’d rush into Peter fretting and hurting and crying, that it would be one of those high stress nights of trying to tell him he doesn’t have to apologize for hurting and how can we fix this, monkey, huh? But instead everything is taken care of, everything is—calm. And Tony knows that’s Happy’s doing.
“And that bot loves you, Peter,” Happy says, as Tony hovers all dumbstruck out in the hallway. “Like, he used to give your dad trouble, but with you he’s just enamored.”
“I love him.”
“And that’s why he loves you too,” Happy says.
“But I also want him to love daddy,” Peter says. “Because daddy made him so he’s his dad too just like me. So we’re kinda like brothers.”
Tony’s brows furrow, and he cracks his jaw, leaning on the wall. He feels emotion tugging at him, the kind that’s deep and lasting.
“Everybody loves your Dad,” Happy says, ruffling Peter’s already messy hair. “Especially DUM-E. Sure, he’s sassy with your dad, because Tony’s sassy with him, but he put so much care and kindness into building him, Pete. He made a real thing when he was that young, and he took care of that bot when Howard wanted to decommission him and put him into storage. Not everybody would do that.”
Tony covers his face with his hand, and he doesn’t know how Happy knows that. He doesn’t remember ever saying it out loud.
“Because Daddy’s the best and most wonderful,” Peter says.
“Yep,” Happy replies.
“Well, I don’t know about that,” Tony finally pipes up. Both of their gazes swivel to find him, and Peter’s eyes light up when he sees him, in a move that Tony still feels like he doesn’t deserve.
“Dad!” Peter yells, and he looks like he wants to get up, but he’s forgotten his current situation.
“Now, now, be careful buddy,” Happy says.
“Yeah, monkey,” Tony says, rushing over and kneeling by his side. “Can’t be running, not with your ankle—”
“I wanna be running!” Peter yells, grabbing onto Tony’s shoulders. “And I can’t run like normal and I can’t run with the crutches because even though I can balance good they hurt my armpits real bad!”
Tony feels like he’s gonna puke again, glancing up at Happy. “Should have known crutches would be part of the situation, and yet—”
“Yeah, he’s—not quite gotten a hang of it,” Happy says. “Lucky we didn’t have a cast.”
“I can do it,” Peter declares, and he’s scrambling out of his seat, grabbing onto his leg and swinging it back down to the ground. He shimmies a little bit to get up off the couch, and Tony struggles to his feet, close to grabbing Peter’s shoulders and making him stay there. But Peter stands up before Tony can do anything, and he starts hopping over to the desk where his little kid crutches are.
“Peter,” Tony says, swallowing hard and moving quickly after him. “Why don’t we relax—”
Peter shoves the crutches under his arms, and he winces and gasps when he does it. “Hurts, hate it,” he says, and he takes two steps with the crutches, over towards Happy. “Hate it! Don’t like it. Bad. Bad.”
He almost makes a misstep, and Tony doesn’t know if he’s gonna fall or what, but he doesn’t take that chance, and he kneels down in front of him and steadies him with hands on his waist.
Peter’s brows furrow and his mouth drops open a little bit. “I can do it, though,” he says, looking at Tony.
“I know you can,” Tony says, rubbing his sides. “I just feel like you’ve dealt with enough today, huh? No more crutches for the rest of the night. Just let Dad fly you around til bedtime, yeah?”
Peter doesn’t really balk at that, and he nods, smiling. “Kay,” he says, and he works the crutches out from under his arms, handing one to Happy and leaning the other against the chair. Tony scoops him up soon as he’s able, being careful of the ankle, and not allowing himself to think about how fast Peter’s growing.
There will never be a day he can’t hold him.
And he twists him around til he’s draped in his arms like a giant baby, and Peter laughs, wrapping his arms around Tony’s neck.
“Stay for dinner,” Tony says to Happy, as soon as he sees him getting up. “Pizza’s coming, and Pepper always gets plenty for leftovers.”
Happy stares at him for a second, and then he nods, smiling.
~
They eat pizza, and Peter tells the legend of the “near-fatal” basketball game about twenty times, which nearly gives Tony a coronary. He also tells it on speakerphone to May and Ben, and then Rhodey, which gets very different reactions. Ben and May are suitably horrified, though Ben hides it better than May does, but Rhodey is all about puffing Peter up, telling him what a big strong man he is, and regaling him with the tale of when he busted his leg in his freshman year of high school. A story Tony knows well, and he can always exactly imitate the way Rhodey says WHACK for the bone break.
Peter and Pepper are working on the crutches, and Tony watches throughout a conversation with Obie on the phone, about the manufacturing warehouse. He finally gets off, and walks over to Happy, sitting beside him.
“He’s getting better and better at it,” Happy says. He glances at Tony. “He almost fell earlier, in the hospital, but I grabbed him up real quick, don’t worry. I always feel like doctors push it with kids. With just about everybody, I think. Some of them got real good bedside manner, but others? Jesus. Robots.”
“Don’t even tell me or I’ll be calling over there with complaints,” Tony says. Both of them smile and he looks at Happy, seeing him in a new light, almost. “Listen, you really came to the rescue today,” Tony says. “I know it just would have been—awful if someone hadn’t gone to support him, someone he knows and trusts, and I—I really appreciate it, Hap.”
“I’ve got your back, Tony,” Happy says, smiling. “And little Peter’s, at all times, no matter what he needs.”
“He loves Uncle Happy,” Tony says, knocking him in the arm.
“Aw,” Happy says, grinning over at Peter and Pepper. “He’s the best. The absolute best.”
And once again, Tony’s thinking about family.
And Happy is one hundred percent a crucial part of that. Tony feels like he took him for granted before, even through Peter’s early years, but today just—put it all in perspective.
That’s what Tony needs, more than anything.