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Nightmares were a nightly occurrence in Aizawa’s life. He’d say he was used to it after a decade, but truthfully, he didn’t suppose anyone grew completely numb to it. One would think the most disturbing dreams would be the adrenaline-inducing violent ones, where images of gore ran rampant and ripped through his peaceful sleep with white-hot claws of terror.
But Aizawa found those to be the simplest, the shock factor fading as soon as he opened his eyes and settled back into reality. Their ghosts didn’t linger like the suffocating dread of the quiet ones. The nights where cold, clammy tendrils sunk into his skin and blanketed his mind in all encompassing silence were the worst. In those dreams, he found himself frozen, deaf and numb, as the world rushed by in a blur around him. Blank faces screamed as they ran for cover; bodies lay stiff and lifeless against rubble as black smoke billowed and flames danced in the corners of his vision.
When he awoke from those dreams it was like a dam bursting, the quiet hum of life outside his room suddenly deafening. No amount of coffee ever warmed the chill in his skin after those nights.
It was during one such nightmare that the unexpected tip-toeing of footsteps outside his room jolted him awake. He lay still, unstirring, ever trained to school his reflexes in the event of a surprise attack. Aside from the brief hitch of his inhale as he awoke, even his breathing remained slow and steady, his body betraying no signs that he’d awoken. Sharpening his senses, he focused on the steps, now paused in front of his door. They seemed to deliberate for a moment before the door gave a click as it was carefully opened.
The steps were hesitant as they softly padded a bit farther into his room. He would recognize them anywhere. Drawing in a deep breath to signal that he was awake, he opened his eyes to greet his midnight visitor.
“Eri,” he called gently.
The small girl paused, hugging her favorite stuffed bear to her chest. She glanced down at her toes, as if ashamed of being caught and unsure of how to proceed.
When she made no move to retreat or come closer, Aizawa coaxed her patiently. “Did you have a bad dream again?”
Since Eri had started staying at Yuuei, she was no stranger to the teaching staff at night. After the first time Nemuri had just happened to pass by her room after dark only to find her curled up into a shivering, tear-soaked ball, the staff had taken turns staying with her. After a few weeks of getting used to her temporary home, she was able to get through the night with someone just checking in on her every few hours. Eventually she settled into seeking someone out if she needed anyone. That someone more often than not became Aizawa.
He couldn’t say that he minded. Sleep rarely brought him a restful reprieve anyway.
“No,” she said quietly. “Well, yes, but…” Hugging her bear tighter, she braved a glance directly up at him. “You did.”
This was new. Aizawa’s brow twitched in confusion, but he kept his expression neutral. “Oh? How could you tell?”
A puzzled look crossed Eri’s face and she gave a tiny shrug. “I just felt it.”
Deliberating on the implications of this, Aizawa chose to simply file it away for later. He wasn’t aware of any empathic aspects of her quirk, but there was still more they didn’t know about her than what they did.
“You’re right, I did,” he replied calmly.
Gingerly taking another step forward, Eri held up her stuffed bear towards him. “It… felt like a bad one. I thought Teddy could keep you company.”
A hint of a smile tugged at Aizawa’s lips. Eri had been offered many toys since her stay at Yuuei, but ‘Teddy’ had a special place among them.
Two weeks ago
Mirio was usually the one who took Eri on outings around town, but Nedzu felt it best to let the aspiring hero catch up on some of his training while using the opportunity to let Eri socialize with other staff. It was important for her to feel safe while still expanding her small circle of trusted caretakers. Since Aizawa was in charge of her training and quirk development, he’d become number three on her list, right behind Mirio and Midoriya.
Today, he and Hizashi had taken her down to the local convenience store that was known for its eclectic selection of merchandise. It was the perfect place to wander around for an hour, especially when Eri found even the most mundane things fascinating.
Hizashi excitedly pointed things out to Eri, humming disconnected snippets of whatever catchy jingle passed through his head as they walked slowly down the aisles. Usually the loud-mouthed hero was a big hit with kids, but Aizawa noticed how Eri hung back a bit and stuck uncharacteristically close to Aizawa’s side. She made an effort to react to whatever knick knack Hizashi held out to her, but she definitely appeared a bit overwhelmed.
When Hizashi turned away to browse for more entertaining items, Aizawa crouched down next to her.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” he said quietly.
She blinked up at him, staring for a moment, before tugging lightly at the hem of her dress. “It’s fun…” she said.
“But…?” Aizawa questioned. Eri glanced down at her toes, unused to expressing herself and struggling to put her feelings into words. Sighing softly, Aizawa lowered his voice even more. “It’s a lot, isn’t it?”
Hesitating only briefly, Eri nodded. “I- I’m very grateful though!”
The two stared at each other in mutual understanding for a long moment. Very slowly, Aizawa held his hand out to her. He let it stay there, a silent question and offer. Conflicting emotions played out on Eri’s face as she gazed down at his palm. She reached out haltingly, inching her tiny hand almost close enough to touch his, before a deep shadow contorted her features and she froze, eyes wide. Aizawa could only guess at the torment flickering through her mind as her hand started to tremble and her breathing grew shallow and fast. Her eyes stared through his hand, unseeing.
“Eri,” he called firmly yet gently. He repeated her name a few times, patiently trying to draw her out of that bad place. If she didn’t snap out of it soon she was in danger of hyperventilating.
“Yowza, a limited edition candy bar!” Hizashi’s excited cry startled both Eri and Aizawa, breaking the tension of their private exchange. Aizawa darted a slightly annoyed look up at his friend, only to find that Hizashi was already sending a concerned look his way. Expression softening, Aizawa gave a grateful nod to him before returning his attention to the disoriented girl beside him.
“Hey,” he tried again, drawing her attention back to him. “You don’t have to push yourself. But if you want to try again, you can take my hand any time. You’re safe with me.”
Eri’s eyes widened, glistening, her desire for closeness warring with all the ways she knew such a simple thing had gone wrong before. Aizawa lingered just long enough to give her time to react without pressuring her, then started to carefully withdraw.
With a sudden spark of determination, Eri darted a step closer, reaching out almost subconsciously to stop him from pulling away. She paused just before their skin touched, fingertips nervously hovering above his palm. Concentration furrowed her brow.
Meeting her leap of faith with one of his own, Aizawa slowly brought his hand up to meet hers until her fingertips brushed against his calloused skin. Eri inhaled sharply and stared down where their hands joined, as if waiting for something terrible to happen.
“See?” An almost imperceptible smirk tugged at Aizawa’s expression. “We’re both safe.”
Exhaling in shaky relief, Eri gazed in wonder and let her hand press more firmly against his. She let her fingers trail across the center of his palm, marveling at how comparatively rough and dry his skin was.
Aizawa couldn’t tell who relaxed into the other first, only that with unspoken permission they simultaneously wrapped their hands together. Hers was small and soft and utterly engulfed by his own.
Hizashi smirked at them with a twinkle in his eyes before quickly pretending to be distracted again. He hummed a little more quietly as the other two came back from their own little world.
Keeping his grasp light enough that Eri could pull away at any time, Aizawa stood back up and gave her a moment to get comfortable. She shuffled a bit closer, a shy look on her face, but otherwise appeared much more at ease.
“Hey,” he called to his friend, catching Hizashi’s attention, “why don’t you pick out some of those colorful gum packs for her to try.”
“Ohh, the ones in the collectible hero wrappers?” Hizashi grinned. He gave a conspiratorial wink, understanding Aizawa’s intentions. “You bet! I’ll see what else I can find, too.”
He’d make it up to Hizashi for giving him the boot later. Left by themselves, they fell into a companionable pace, Eri taking her time to take everything in. Only occasionally did she pause and stare wide-eyed at something that caught her interest. She looked up at Aizawa and wordlessly pointed at a shiny, colorful bag of strawberry candies. Without a pause he reached over and handed it to her. It was heartwarming watching her discover the small frivolities of life, he had to admit.
When they made their way back to the front of the store, he caught sight of Hizashi and gave him a nod. He almost smirked in exasperation when he saw the basket of assorted candies hanging off his friend’s arm.
“Trying to buy your way into being the favorite?” he joked drily.
Hizashi cackled and winked. “Think it’ll work? I see your bag of strawberry candy and raise you ten collectible bags of fruit chews!”
“It’s not a competition.”
“Maybe not to you, you’re used to kids not liking you.” Hizashi gave an exaggerated pout. “This is new territory for me!”
Chuckling despite himself, Aizawa sighed. “Maybe try toning it down a notch. Or seven.”
“I’ll stick to the candy.”
A small gasp interrupted their banter, and they both glanced down to see Eri ignoring them completely, her attention wholly consumed by a sale table of hero-themed plushes. Fuzzy bears in assorted costumes were stacked in neat rows, and Eri’s eyes were practically shining as she fixated on one in particular.
A bear with curly green fur wearing a red velvet cape sat off to the side, its button eyes staring ahead as it sported a dashing smile. The merchandise collection it was part of wasn’t based on any particular heroes, just generic hero costumes, but Aizawa smiled knowingly as he picked it up and carefully handed it to her. He knew exactly which heroes it reminded her of.
She held it gingerly at arm's length at first, afraid to do more than admire its softness between her fingers.
“That’s a neat teddy bear; looks really heroic, huh?” Hizashi leaned a bit closer to get a good look at it, but remained respectful of her space.
“Teddy…?” she repeated, turning a questioning look up at him.
“Yep,” he nodded. “That’s what they're called.”
“Teddy,” she repeated again with more enthusiasm. Her fascination only increased now that she had a name for it.
Giving a soft laugh, Hizashi leaned down farther and caught her attention. “Why don’t you take it home and show everyone? I bet they’ll love to see it!”
“I can…?” she asked, voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course! Whatever you want, it’s our treat!”
Aizawa rolled his eyes at the exuberant pose Hizashi struck. So much for taking it down a notch . Even with the resounding reassurance, however, Eri still looked up at Aizawa with a silent plea, seeking his approval.
With an almost imperceptible smile, he crouched down to her level again. “I, uh, hear that soft things are comforting to hug when you have bad dreams. Do you want to take the bear to keep you company?”
Hesitating only for a moment, Eri fervently nodded.
“Ok, it’s yours then,” Aizawa chuckled softly.
A wobbly attempt at a smile spread on Eri’s face and she clutched the hero bear closer.
“Yeah! Now that’s what I call a successful shopping trip!” Hizashi grinned and pumped his fist in the air. Sensing a scolding glare being aimed at him, his expression turned apologetic and he reigned himself in. Joining Aizawa at Eri’s level, he knelt down and held his hand up near Eri. “I like to high five my partners when we accomplish a mission. What d’ya say, little partner, wanna try?”
She stared at his hand curiously then glanced again at Aizawa, who nodded his unspoken encouragement that yes, it was safe . Inhaling deeply, she reached her hand out to match the gesture. Hizashi gently tapped her palm with his and beamed.
Eri left her hand outstretched for a moment, trying and failing to understand the meaning of the gesture. Hizashi laughed as he took in her puzzled expression.
“It means ‘good job, we did it’!” He replied.”Here, back me up, Shouta.” Hizashi held his palm up again and wiggled his brows.
Letting out a long-suffering sigh (which was mainly for show), Aizawa humored his friend and accepted a much more enthusiastic high-five from him.
Eri’s eyes seemed to light up in some sort of comprehension. Glancing down at her own palm, she turned and held it up to Aizawa. He raised a brow, surprised she wanted to repeat the gesture, but held his hand back up nonetheless.
With an almost comical amount of concentration, she inched her palm closer, then tapped it against his. It was the most adorable thing Aizawa had seen, not that he’d ever admit that to anyone.
Eri glanced at Hizashi questioningly, and he gave her a nod and a thumbs up in approval. She turned that same look on Aizawa, and when his expression softened and he nodded at her too, another wobbly half-smile lit her face.
“Ready to head back and check out the spoils of our trip?” Hizashi asked. When Eri nodded, he hefted the basket he was carrying and headed to the registers with a whistle. Meanwhile, Aizawa had left his arm outstretched, expecting Eri to take his hand again, and was mildly shocked when she turned and started distractedly following Hizashi instead. She was currently enthralled by her bear, her attention focused on marvelling at how soft its curly fur. Huffing a sigh, he let his hand fall back at his side.
“Cheater,” Aizawa grumbled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and trailed a step behind.
Cackling, Hizashi draped his free arm around Aizawa’s shoulders and squeezed him. “Don’t worry, you’re still her favorite.”
Back to the Present
Aizawa stared at the green-furred bear held between Eri’s trembling hands, the selflessness of her offering him her greatest comfort item striking him deeply.
“I appreciate it,” he replied carefully. “But what about your nightmares?”
Pain flickered across her expression, but she remained resolute. “I’ll be ok. I can take Teddy back tomorrow.”
“Hmm.” Aizawa held her gaze softly, thinking carefully on his next words. “I know we’ve demonstrated otherwise, but heroes don’t always have to sacrifice their own wellbeing to help other people.” He patted the bed next to him. “Do you want to stay here with Teddy? We can… both share its comfort.” His gaze turned serious. “But only if you want to. I can take you back to your room and stay with you, if you prefer.”
Eri’s eyes lit up at his proposal and she took an eager step toward him. Her desperation for closeness was evident, yet she still couldn’t help but hold herself back. An unfamiliar feeling of wanting to reach out and soothe the traumatized girl huddled in shadows before him washed over Aizawa, tightening his chest. But he couldn’t do it for her; it had to be her decision. He couldn’t pick her up or tuck her in, because those had been things done without her consent before. Any physical closeness would be at her speed, by her choice.
Instead he waited patiently, never once looking away as she warred with her fears and doubts and took faltering step after step, her eyes darting down and away but always coming back to rest on his. When she reached the edge of the bed, she hugged Teddy close and stared unblinking up at him.
“I can stay?” she asked quietly.
“If you want to,” Aizawa nodded. “Would you like that?”
Shuffling her toes, she replied, “Yes.”
A ghost of a smile crossed Aizawa’s face. “I would like that too.” Gently, so as not to startle her, he shifted away until his back hit the wall, making room for her on the small bed.
Eri first placed her bear up on the bed, then clumsily climbed up and scooted next to it. She arranged it so Teddy sat perfectly between them then nuzzled down into the mattress. Aizawa drew the blanket back over them, keeping it loose enough that she wouldn’t feel trapped or constricted.
Staring for just a moment longer, he slid back down and settled in his now cramped bed.
“Thank you,” Eri said softly. Her silver hair draped in a tangled mane over her face as she snuggled into the pillow. Scrunching her nose up, she batted at a strand that tickled her nose.
Aizawa breathed out a fond laugh and lightly brushed the offending strand out of her face, smoothing it back behind her ear. He gave Teddy a pat on the head before tucking his arms back at his side.
“Good night, Eri.”