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And God knows I'm not dying but I bleed now

Summary:

Diluc learnt that day that the world wasn't fair at all.

 

Diluc learnt that day that when he closed his eyes, he never opened them again.

 

Diluc also learnt that day that he would rather never hear his father scream like that. Shake his arms. Calling his name, hugging the limp body of his son to his chest, knowing there's nothing to be done.

 

Diluc learnt that day that dying wasn't so scary after all. After the pain, there was numbness.

Notes:

THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH TAG IS REAL.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1 – Poison

Chapter Text

Ragnvindr family was known for its well thrown banquets. This one wasn't an exception either.

 

To say it was amazing was not enough. Crepus Ragnvindr was making sure that every event he held was a memorable thing for his guests.

 

Positively, of course.

 

That cost a lot of mora, but he had more than enough. Especially after the end of the season, when the sales were blooming and everything seemed to be absolutely perfect.

 

He tailored new suits for himself and his boys, since Kaeya and Diluc were supposed to be here too. He made sure the guards were well paid too to, in a matter of emergency, react and calm down the conflict or whatever thing that wanted to disrupt the banquet. 

 

The real reason for the amount of security at his banquets, however, was the fact that he was scared for his boys safety.

 

In business, you either have friends or enemies. There's no in between, there's no place for neutrality. Forever fight to make better sums of mora, or forever support to import some of each other's goods to make better profit.

 

Crepus, as one of the Giants in the alcohol industry (cause, let's be honest, who hasn't heard of the Ragnvindr family distinguishing wine?) had more enemies than friends. But all of them knew to keep the conflicts out of the public reach and pretend to like each other for their businesses sake. No one wanted to support some ongoing dramas.

 

He greeted the guests at the door, with the help of the staff directing people where they should be, where they could find some drinks, food or bathrooms, or where they could find some other nobles who just got inside. Crepus noticed Diluc being cornered by some noble families, offering their daughters hands, the benefits from the marriages. He felt bad for his son. He was lucky enough that he met Diluc's mother, Crepus' beloved wife who passed away during childbirth on one of those banquets, and both of the families agreed to the marriage. They were lucky enough that it was out of love, not out of business reasons.

 

He couldn't force Diluc to some arranged marriage too. He knew how stressful it was, and, the only thing that he could do in that direction is to navigate his son onto some good families if he asks to do so. He didn't want Diluc marrying some girl who only looks at his money, not at Diluc himself. Crepus knew that his son was way too open on emotions and wore his heart on his sleeve. Relationship like that would destroy him from inside out.

 

Of course, Crepus couldn't avoid some single ladies offering something like this too. Since his wife died he rejected a lot of those kind of offers – he couldn't accept any of them. Firstly, he couldn't, he kept thinking about the woman he truly loved. Secondly, all of them looked only for the opportunity to gain some money and make their family wealthier. Thirdly, Diluc would definitely disown himself from the family if he found out he's going to have a stepmother. Immature? Kind of. But his son was seventeen, still driven by emotions.

 

Kaeya on the other hand liked this kind of attention. Charming people with his presence only, only to later laugh about it with Diluc, mocking some nobles and ridiculous things they've said. 

 

They looked out for each other, though. It comforted Crepus. Diluc was making sure no one step over Kaeya's boundaries, reading his kind-of-flirting wrong, and Kaeya was making sure no one was pushing on Diluc to marry their daughter. Hell yes he knew how uncomfortable that was.

 

With the last guest arriving a little bit late, Crepus and the security closed the doors, starting the banquet.

 

  • =•

 

„Do you understand the plan?” the man asked, looking at Ralph, who just nodded silently. Does he want to do it? Absolutely not. But this guy had some important informations about him that couldn't be revealed. 

 

He felt bad for Crepus. For Kaeya too. But even worse for Diluc, who was supposed to be a victim of this.

 

Poisoning. An easy way to silently eliminate someone, without any trace. Just adding something to someone's drink, and waiting for the next day to arrive, for the person to be announced dead. 

 

The poison that Ralph received would work at night after the banquet. The event was supposed to end on around 10pm, and the poison would take effect around midnight or first in the morning.

 

The haunting image of the seventeen years old Ragnvindr boy choking on his own blood was shaking Ralph to the core.



Ralph felt like a terrible person.

 

He probably was one, anyway.

 

  • ••

 

With the banquet coming to end, Diluc couldn't help it but he felt a little weird and surprisingly tired. Which was really weird, because he made sure he slept more than six hours since he became a knight. At the end of the event he just vanished into his bedroom in the manor, trying to make the uneasiness go away, but with futile efforts. 

 

His head was spinning, his stomach hurt, but he didn't feel like he was going to vomit despite the nausea washing over him. He stumbled upon some books on the floor, falling over to the ground. He felt like his insides were burning. He clutched his hand on his shirt on his stomach, groaning in pain. His vision darkened. He didn't know if it was from whatever was happening to him or from the panic attack that surely was happening. Because oh boy, he was panicking. 

 

When he tried to call for someone, his voice came out broken, pathetically silent. Diluc felt some strange, iron taste on his tongue.

 

Blood.

 

Oh Archons, it was bad. The blood shouldn't be in his mouth. Had he bitten his tongue? The boy unconsciously reached out to his mouth. There was no bitten tongue. The blood was coming out from the inside of his body. And his nose. If he wasn't scared before, he was now. 

 

He tried to call for someone again, crawling to the door, but he couldn't. Instead he choked up on his own blood, hand clutching on his throat, as the feeling of the blood inside of it was definitely not something very pleasant. 

 

„D-dad…” he choked out, blood mixing with tears. Instead of sobs there were broken sound coming out of him.

 

He didn't want to die.

 

He didn't want to die. He was just seventeen. He became a Captain only three years ago, he had a chance for promotion. He had winery to take over. 

 

Even in his final moment he was more afraid for his family, than the other things. Despite Kaeya being an official Ragnvindr on papers, it was Diluc who had the Ragnvindr blood after all. If he died it would be the death of the entire bloodline. Crepus decided years ago he won't marry again. People won't acknowledge Kaeya, Diluc knew that by the reactions of when they father took him in. 

 

He wanted to cry. To scream. It was so unfair. Why was he dying? He didn't want to die. Not yet. Not like that.

 

But his eyelids were so heavy. So, so heavy. What if he closed his eyes just for a moment? Just for a short moment… It would make the pain go away, right?

 

Right?

 

But Diluc knew he won't open his eyes again. It made him want to pathetically wail on the floor. He was so scared. He didn't want to die alone. He didn't want to die before his father, no kids should die before their parents. No parents should bury and attend their kids funeral.

 

It was so, so unfair.

 

Diluc learnt that day that the world wasn't fair at all.

 

Diluc learnt that day that when he closed his eyes, he never opened them again.

 

Diluc also learnt that day that he would rather never hear his father scream like that. Shake his arms. Calling his name, hugging the limp body of his son to his chest, knowing there's nothing to be done.

 

Diluc learnt that day that dying wasn't so scary after all. After the pain, there was numbness.

 

Diluc! Diluc, wake up!” he heard his father wailing, trying to shake his son awake.

 

And it was the last thing that Diluc had heard in his live.

 

His father's pained screams.