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“You are still awake, Robin?” Dick perked up when he heard the soft question travel through the room, striking the back of his head to pull him out of his vacuous stare trained on the TV. He glanced back to see Starfire slowly walking towards their massive couch. “The others have retired for the night already, why haven’t you? Are you not tired?” She questioned further and Dick looked away to close his eyes for a moment, getting accustomed to her voice being just a little too loud for the isolated atmosphere he had created in their living room.
“I will eventually, Star,” He offered a lame answer, hoping she’d accept it but knowing her to be better than that. “I am just…reflecting on the day, that’s all,” It wasn’t a lie, per say. Their day had been long, spent tracking down some Justice League targets that had ended up on the wrong side of Jump City. He had given it a lot of thought, evaluating his own performance in front of superheroes he had admired as a child.
It felt weird to think back on his days in Gotham, where a room decorated with various hero memorabilia still existed—locked away and never looked inside of. “I would like to know your thoughts,” Star mumbled out, perhaps sensing Dick’s melancholia and in turn dimming her light so he could relax. “Because they seem to trouble you,” She took a seat next to him, crossing her legs so her knee gently knocked against Dick’s bare one.
“Is it that obvious?” He responded sarcastically, not being able to stop a smile from creeping up on his face once she giggled. “I was thinking about the Justice League—how we met them again today,” He responded to her unasked question. He finally looked at her again once she hummed. He watched her watch him, feeling something cold creep up on him the longer Star stared at him. She cradled something accepting in her eyes, which only made Dick more uncomfortable. He wondered when he became so…him. Going from a Robin who was the embodiment of the sun in Batman’s grim life to someone who did nothing but avoid the light was finally beginning to take a toll on him. “What?” He asked quietly.
“What?” She mimicked him, smiling playfully as he scoffed. He had given up on trying to play it cool around after so many years of vigilantism. Instead, he allowed himself to show her some of his wide smiles.
“Yeah, what?” He responded through a chuckle, gently nudging her arm with his own. She shrugged in response, sighing softly and shaking her head.
“We have met them several times before, but today was different, hm?” Putting the questioning tone in her comment was useless, really. Star looked at him like she knew everything about him, which was unsettling to say the least. For the last 5 years, Dick had been obsessively deliberate with parts of himself he showed to his Titans. Though he had allowed bits of Dick Grayson to peek through the cracks that were beginning to form in Robin, he was still reserved. However, nothing secretive worked on Star. He wondered if she was really good at reading him, or if he just wanted her to know every part of him. “I wonder what it was?” She feigned confusion, joking pondering as she leaned against him. “Maybe an extra member?” She hit the target, making Dick drawn in a nervous breath.
Batman had not spoken to him at all during the day’s mission and Dick figured out why once it was too late. A little…Robin was latching onto the vigilante’s leg, avoiding Dick’s eyes the entire time. He supposed the fact that he had been replaced hadn’t set in yet, otherwise he was sure he would be a bit more hysterical.
“You cannot be replaced Robin,” Star said earnestly and it felt a bit like a confession, but maybe Dick was just being delusional. “No matter what anyone—or you—thinks,” She comforted, grasping his hand and setting it on her own knee.
“But he replaced me anyway,” Dick allowed himself to rant. He rolled his eyes as she squeezed his hand. “Never once talked to me, or even give me a notice. He just took my identity away and gave it to some sob story kid,” He complained, hoping she agreed with him. “Does he think I’m stupid? I have given so much to his team. We have done so much together, how can he just do that, Star?”
She laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tightly enough that it stung him a bit. “Batman is being unfair, but you should not let him ruin your night,” Star whispered sadly, sounding like she didn’t believe her own words.
“You don’t get it,” He muttered, hesitating a bit and looking away from her. He couldn’t just confess his deepest insecurities to Star, no matter how he felt for her. He couldn’t bear to have her think of Robin as anything less than perfect. Dick sighed and stared deep into her worried eyes—maybe she already saw him in that way. “Robin…,” He mumbled, huffing once she hummed out an encouragement. “Robin is all I have. Without it, I’m nothing! Right now, I have nothing,” He said a little hysterically, feeling his resolve crumble.
“You are not nothing,” Star said so earnestly that Dick found himself almost believing it, smiling at her in return. “You are our leader! You are my best friend, how can that not be enough?” She asked and he supposed in a way she was right. Dick had somehow found friends that valued him so much more than he thought he deserved. That’s all that should matter.
He also had…Starfire. Never once in their five years together did she ever doubt him, always seeing Dick for his truest self instead. Her eyes burned bright in the dark, reaching all the way to Dick’s heart and warming it up. To those around them, Robin and Starfre seemed to be polar opposites, however to Dick they seemed to fit together perfectly.
“Robin?”
She cared, and he cared back.
“You’re right. I think that’s enough,” He whispered, smiling when her entire face lit up. Star smiled down at him, chuckling a little as she scooted closer to Dick. “I’m…I’m still upset about being replaced,” He confessed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. But before Starfire’s face could fall, Robin was quick to soothe her. “Though as long as I don't get replaced by you…all,” He awkwardly added. “Then I’ll be alright,”
“Then you will be alright forever!” She exclaimed happily, loud enough for Dick to cringe a little before he dissolved into a fit of chuckles. “Because not only will the Titans never ever replace you, you won’t ever stop being my best friend either…,” She trailed off, leaning down just as Dick eyes widened.
“I—” He stopped himself, suddenly afraid to let himself ramble in case he ended up saying something too vulnerable. “Thanks,” He settled on that, sighing happily when Star smiled softly. “Star…you’re the best. I hope you know that,” Dick finally showed his appreciation, hoping she would believe him despite his lack of transparency.
“I am?” She suddenly asked, tilting her head. The sincerity in her eyes still remained, however, a glint of playfulness could be seen again.
“Yes,” He elongated his response, making her cover her mouth with the back of her hand and giggle. Suddenly, he could see her cheeks redden as she laughed. It made his chest tighten in a way it never had before. He had wanted to see her like that for so long. He wanted to be the reason behind that smile just like tonight. “You really are,” He responded, this time firmer and happier.
Before he knew it, Starfire was wrapping her arms around Robin’s shoulders, pressing his body against her own as she gently rubbed his back with one hand. Dick stiffened in shock, not expecting the sudden hug at all. It seemed he meant a lot to Starfire no matter how low he felt about himself. He couldn’t help but feel that that’s all that mattered. He wrapped his arms around Star’s torso in response, squeezing slightly as she pressed her warm cheek against his own.
“You are too,” She mumbled, and Dick chuckled at her cheek pressing Dick’s as she grinned widely. “You really are too,” Dick stuttered out a relieving breath. Oh, how good it felt to be held—even when he wasn’t at its best.
What more could he ask for?
Dick moved his head so their cheeks weren’t touching anymore to see that Star’s eyes were closed as she rested her chin on his shoulder. He almost, almost pressed a small kiss on her cheek, backing out a soft sigh instead. It would be crossing a line, though a small part of him desperately wanted to know what her reaction would be.
Something told him it wouldn’t be bad, even if she may not reciprocate, because that’s just who Star was. He still shook his head gently, as if shaking away the impulsive thoughts. Star pulled back to look down at him again, patting Dick’s back again. He watched the TV screen reflect in Star’s eyes and wondered just what set of events and bad choices led him to this moment. He laid himself bare in front of his best friend, feeling afraid, exposed, and even regretful. Though, scarily enough, he also felt a little loved.
He had her. He had it all. There was nothing more he could ask for.