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“What’s this place called again? Wall… mert?”
Remus sighs as he walks along the cobblestone of muggle London. He side-eyes Peter. “Walmart. Don’t make me repeat it again.”
“That’s such a funny name. Who would name a store after wall and mart? ” Sirius chimes, half-skipping, half-walking beside Remus, the buckles of his leather jacket cleaving the air with each movement. “What do they even sell?“
“Bloody idiot. It’s literally just a place that sells items,” Remus hisses as he turns the corner. Sirius and Peter immediately follow pursuit. Apparently they didn’t know any direction around muggle London. He wouldn’t assume otherwise. Most wizards don’t venture around muggles any given day.
Remus relatively listens to Sirius bicker on about the foreign land of Walmart. It isn’t until James suddenly catches up from whatever he had been doing so far behind, and shares his new theory on Walmart actually selling walls. To which Sirius has a dramatically excessive reaction. The two continue to banter excitedly like babies going to a birthday party - then that’s when Remus deems the chatter nonsensical and turns to Peter.
“Hey, Wormtail.”
“Hi, Moony.”
Remus watches Peter crack a smile. He obliquely glances back at James and Sirius and returns to munching on his slice of pizza. Remus doesn’t even know where Peter got it. Blimey, he didn’t know Peter even knew about the existence of pizza.
Remus sighs. He peers up at the colorless sky above, a wispy grey blanket, looming over the tall, stone brick buildings of London. They are everywhere, surrounding Remus at every step and leaving no other opening to see the sky other than up. Cars zoom by, beeping and honking, leaving behind trails of gas in their wake. That’s just what Remus can see in the distance. The part of the city they are traveling in is unobtrusive and slightly marred. James and Sirius continue to bicker.
“I reckon they have robots to do it.”
“Like machines?”
“Yeah. Like we have magic and they have machines, because they don’t have magic, you know?”
“No, really?”
“Shut up. Actually though. It makes sense, right?”
Remus pauses and checks the street name. He turns left, onto a fairly nicer sidewalk leading into the parking lot of a small shopping center. The tall buildings have disappeared in this section of London. Now there are large rectangular buildings, each labeled with different names, colors, and logos.
Remus points to a particular blue building labeled “Walmart” in eloquent white font. A symbol resembling a sun is adjacent to the lettering.
Peter walks up beside Remus, his pizza gone. He looks to where Remus is gesturing. “Walmart?” he asks. Then he pauses, as if suddenly remembering something. “I remember my mother mentioning something about a place like that. It was a long time ago, though.” Peter shrugs and glances back at James and Sirius.
“We should prank the whole store,” Sirius giddily tells James as they follow Remus and Peter through the parking lot. “It’ll be a big Easter surprise!”
“Absolutely not,” Remus hisses before a grinning James can respond. “You both will get arrested and I’m not bailing you out.”
“Well,” scoffs James. “You truly are my loyalest friend. Surely Peter would know better than you.”
“I’m broke,” Peter replies.
“It’s the thought that counts,” Sirius says sweetly.
Remus scowls and considers throwing them all into ongoing traffic. Thankfully he refrains from doing anything of the sort. Remus leads the way to the front of Walmart, opening one of the double glass doors and making sure it slams in Sirius’ face.
“Hey! Any respect for your beloved?” he barks. James runs ahead and opens the door, politely holding it open for both Sirius and Peter.
“Ladies first.”
Sirius walks in after Peter, planting a kiss on James’ cheek. “Thanks, Jamie,” he coos.
Remus rolls his eyes, crossing his arms as he waits for his friends to come together. Sirius immediately walks his way, smirks, and stands on his toes to kiss Remus’ lips.
“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you,” he whispers when he pulls away. Remus’ glare is battling with a smile. He watches as Sirius walks over to Peter and whispers something to him that leaves him sulky afterwards.
“What are all these eggs?” James’ voice asks from one of the aisles. Remus dutifully walks over to him and spares a glance at the Easter eggs he’s observing. Sirius and Peter don’t even make it to the aisle before they get distracted by a crowded shelf of colorful Easter baskets.
Remus picks up a pack of the pastel eggs and gestures to the abundant candy bags displayed along the nearby shelves. “They’re Easter eggs. People collect candy to put in them and then hide them in places for others to find.”
James takes the plastic eggs from Remus and holds them close to his face, squinting his eyes in concentration. “…do they just break them open and glue them back up?”
“They open themselves.”
“How do they get put back together?”
“They… they just…” Remus touches a hand to his forehead, groaning. “Prongs, it’s just how it works. I can’t explain it.”
James raises an eyebrow. He glances at the eggs again, his expression odd, almost as if conspiring something. He nods slowly. “Huh. Easter themed eggs that can hold things.” The corner of his lips surreptitiously twitch up, then he’s out of the aisle before Remus can react.
With a hefty sigh, Remus walks over to where his friends are all gathered. James is holding up the pack of Easter eggs, explaining to Sirius and Peter word-for-word what Remus just told him. Upon seeing the stares of nearby passersby, he can’t help but cringe in embarrassment.
“And these things,” James adds, hovering his hand over all the different baskets behind him. “Are hats. Very stylish this time of year.” Remus throws his hands out in ire, opening his mouth to bark out words of retaliation at James - but Sirius cuts him off.
“Awesome!” Sirius snatches a yellow picnic basket resembling a chick and places it on his head, the grin on his face bright enough to light up the entirety of London. The basket covers his eyes, leaving just his smile and nostrils to show. Peter laughs and adorns a basket as well, this one with a small white bunny at each side of the base.
Remus shakes his head, sending a flurry of glares James’ way. “These,” Remus hisses as he snatches the baskets off Sirius and Peter’s heads. “Are not hats.” He neatly sets them back in their places, then faces all three of them. “They are baskets. I did not tell you anything else.” Remus directs his glare at James.
“James,” Sirius says in a high-pitched, whining voice as he looks at James like a scolding mother.
“Stop bitching,” James snaps back.
“Potty word, potty word!”
Remus doesn’t even invite them to follow, just grabs Peter’s hand and storms off.
“You’re just going to leave them?” he splutters.
“Yes.”
Remus drags Peter through the aisles of Walmart and scans each sign above as he goes. Finally, he turns into the dimly lit, desolated aisle labeled “school supplies.”
James and Sirius follow suit, who had both been jumping around like sugared up children, picking up the random items upon the shelves and throwing them around, trying to figure out how they function.
“Moony, what are these?” Sirius holds up a box of ballpoint pens. James grins and takes the box from Sirius.
“They’re weapons.”
Remus glares at James and snatches the pens from him. “No, James. They are pens.”
Sirius raises an eyebrow. Then lowers it, face blank. “Pens.”
“Yes, Sirius. Pens. They’re used for writing.” Remus puts the pens away and reaches into his bag. He pulls out one of his own pens and holds it up to James and Sirius like it is an ancient artifact. He clicks the top.
James’ eyes widen. “They are weapons! That’s a knife, Moony!”
Sirius gasps with way too much exaggeration, then shoots a glare at Remus. “Don’t raise that at us! How are those things even legal? Gosh, muggles are insane. Are they all like that? Are there others?” He narrows his eyes suspiciously. “And why do you have one?”
Remus groans and puts the pen away, his glare flitting between James and Sirius. “Oh, yes. I must be an undercover spy working for the government, right? It’s literally a fucking pen. Muggles write with it. And it is not a murder device, James.” His glare locks on James, who just shrugs and smiles.
“I wrote an essay with a pen before,” Peter muses. “Muggles usually use pencils more often, though.”
“Are those weapons, too?” asks Sirius.
“They’re not weapons, for Merlin’s sake!” Remus yells as he throws his arms in the air. He points an accusing finger at Sirius’ chest. “You are an idiot, and I will not hesitate to let the world know just that!”
Sirius recoils, a hand coming up to slap his chest in what seems to be deep offense. Then he slouches his shoulders to feign hurt.
“I… I never knew you felt that way.”
“Oh, for goodness sake—!”
“Does our relationship not mean anything to you?!”
“Sirius—“
“You are so mean!”
Sirius crosses his arms and turns away. Remus groans loudly. “Fine then. Be your nutty self. God, I just need a damn notebook!” He walks down the aisle, trying to find a decent suitor amongst all the pencils and erasers and weird sparkly gel pen things.
After a long while, Remus finally finds something that isn’t a little girl’s diary or some hybrid between a notebook and a binder. He takes his chosen composition book in his arms and turns around - only to find just Peter, examining an ink pen.
“Where are they?” Remus groans as he walks over.
Peter shrugs. “James said bathroom and Sirius said car.” He holds up the single ink pen he had been looking at. “I think I might just get this pen. Quills always tickle my face when I lean forward and I’m sure McGonagall won’t notice the difference in an ink pen.”
“Sure, Wormtail.” Remus walks off, Peter following as he starts to speed walk through the store. Liars. We didn’t even take a car here. Remus scans each aisle for James and Sirius, contemplating the whole time about just leaving the two to succumb to the chaos of Walmart. Unfortunately, it does not take long for Remus to find not one - but both of the two troublemakers.
Right in front of the cashiers, James and Sirius each hold a bag filled with the pastel Easter eggs. Remus prepares himself for an outburst. Did they steal those?
“Free of charge!” Sirius exclaims as he hands a young girl an Easter egg, who grins and immediately opens it. Inside look to be two small pieces of chocolate, but Sirius’ smug expression seems to imply otherwise.
The crowd around the two boys looks to be pissing the workers off a great deal. Remus finds himself praying they both get kicked out of the store. Amongst the people in the crowd, someone shouts something that Remus can’t make out. He doesn’t dare walk any closer, but he does make sure to give the two of them the fiercest glare he can muster. James catches sight of Remus and Peter and gives Sirius a nudge, grinning. Sirius glances over, his face also breaking into that stupid smile. He and James slip into the crowd and emerge from the other side, running to Remus and Peter while laughing hysterically.
“Quick, before they notice!” James guffaws.
“James Fleamont Potter, I swear if you just killed those people—!”
“Relax, Moony,” Sirius snickers, pushing him, James and Peter into the safe cover of an arts and crafts aisle. “Watch.”
A few moments later, someone from the crowd cries, “This isn’t chocolate!”
“Ew, what is this?!”
“Almonds?!”
“Rocks!”
“Agh, someone put a pebble in my chocolate!”
James and Sirius fall over each other guffawing. Remus covers his mouth.
Horrified, Peter snaps his gaze at the two laughing boys. “Did you put rocks in the chocolate?”
Sirius wheezes something incoherent. Remus slaps the back of his head. “Sirius! What the hell did you do? I swear, I’m going to call 9 1 1 for these people if you don’t—!”
“It’s rocks,” James manages to wheeze out.
“What?!”
“Candy,” Sirius adds. He doubles over and clutches his stomach as he and James enter round two of their laughter.
“Rock… candy…?” asks Peter skeptically.
Remus crosses his arms. He feels like a mother scolding her children. “You both will tell me what you did or I’m ratting you out.”
“We,” James lets out one more wheeze of laughter before he leans himself against the shelves, letting his head fall back as he runs his hand through his hair. “Bought something called rock candy.”
“It was coated in chocolate.” Sirius reaches into his bag and pulls out an empty plastic bag. In bold letters it read, “crunchy rock candy coated with savory milk chocolate.”
“It said it was edible,” Sirius laughs. “We put the chocolate in the eggs. And gave them to everyone.”
James bursts into laughter again, sinking to the floor. “They think they’re eating rocks,” he wheezes.
Sirius slams his back into the shelves behind him, sliding to the floor in a heap of hysterical giggles. “Or breaking their teeth.” Then James and Sirius both explode with simultaneous laughter.
Beside him, Peter is chuckling. “You have to admit it’s pretty clever. I would’ve helped.”
“And here I was just about to compliment your sanity,” sighs Remus, shaking his head. “Let’s go. I don’t want to get arrested for being with these fools.”
Remus pays for his notebook and Peter for his pen, then they half-lead half-drag James and Sirius out of Walmart, but not before they give the finishing touch to their grand scheme.
James runs to the center of the store, yells, “Happy Easter!” And proceeds to scatter an abundance of black blurs across the floor. Everyone within a twelve foot radius immediately step back as a group of security officers run their way.
“Happy early-April-Fools!” Sirius cackles, throwing more of the black objects directly at people’s faces, forcing them to catch them.
“Sirius!” Remus barks. But it’s already too late. The black objects - the pellets - simultaneously explode in green puffs of smoke, invoking shrieks and gags from everyone nearby. Remus can only watch in horror as James and Sirius emerge running out from the clouds of smoke, laughing like two imbecilic evil gremlins.
“Run!”
“What—!”
Before Remus knows it, Sirius grabs his hand and yanks him forward - forcing him to run along with him, James, and Peter as they all make a dead sprint for the doors.
“STOP!”
Remus cringes as he hears the security guards chasing after them. James slams the door open, ushering them all outside before he sprints out himself.
“Run faster,” James pants as he runs up beside Remus.
Holy fuck. I’m running from security with my best friends who just stink-bombed the entire store of Walmart. This is awful. And Sirius is holding my hand.
Remus can’t help but feel the adrenaline that rushes through his veins as he leads the way through the parking lot, dodging cars this way and that, the wind smacking his face and filling his ears with an aggressive whistling breeze as the pound of his own heart thumps in his head.
We’re going to fucking die.
Remus subconsciously clutches Sirius’ hand tighter as he makes a sharp turn onto a cracked sidewalk that connects the shopping center parking lot to the complex streets of muggle London.
“STOP RIGHT THERE! IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!”
Remus hears Peter curse from beside him. He runs faster, turning another corner, then another, and another. His boots clomp against the cobblestone as he runs like never before. Is this what they do whenever they escape from pranks? Run and hope to find sanctuary? Where are we even going right now?
Remus glances over his shoulder. He can’t see the officers, but he can hear their shouts and footsteps. Remus grits his teeth, speeding up his pace as his legs scream in protest, heart rapidly beating, his breaths coming out in short gasps. I shouldn’t even be running. I had nothing to do with this. God, this is embarrassing. I’m going rogue after this is all over.
Remus avoids the main streets and instead sticks to navigating the narrow paths, the ones in which window shopping is very popular and usually ridiculously crowded. Remus darts this way and that to avoid the crowds, but James smacks into some random lady anyways. He pants out a quick apology and even smiles at her before he runs off again.
A few moments later, Remus is certain he’s going to faint. He glances over his shoulder again, then makes an extremely sharp turn into a dark, squalid alley. Remus’ legs immediately give out and he collapses with his back against the stone wall, clutching his chest, gasping for air.
Sirius slouches beside him, James beside Sirius, and Peter beside him. They all sit and cough, wheeze, and catch their breath. A minute passes. Then two. They’ve all stopped heaving.
Remus closes his eyes, but it isn’t much different from the already dark alley. “This is all your fault,” he mutters.
“Blame Prongs,” replies Sirius. “He made me do it.”
“The hell? You were just as in on it as me.”
Peter sighs. “We’re probably criminals now.”
Remus opens his eyes to send his glare flitting between Sirius and James. “What even were those things?”
Sirius smirks. “Stink pellets from Zonko’s. They smell awful.”
“And that wasn’t even close to what we have planned in a few days,” James sneers. “Oh, Hogwarts. You’re in for a treat.”
“Not the April Fools prank,” Peter groans, sliding his hands down his face. “Last year you released literal lions into the Gryffindor tower, ravens in Ravenclaw tower, badgers in Hufflepuff, and snakes in Slytherin.” Peter cracks a smile. “Then one of the badgers destroyed the house points.”
“Oh, yeah. That was a good one,” James laughs.
Sirius grins and looks at Remus. “You helped us plan it out.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Actually, you did,” Peter comments. “I remember.”
Remus groans and closes his eyes again. “I just want to go back to Hogwarts,” he mumbles.
“Well, we had one portkey to bring us here and one to bring us back,” James begins.
“Then where’s the other portkey?”
“Sirius lost it.”
“Of course he did,” Remus responds. “Now how do we get back?”
“Floo?” Sirius suggests.
“This is Muggle London.”
Peter flicks a rock around. “We can just make another portkey.” He reaches into his satchel and pulls out an old baseball hat. “We can use this. I don’t mind.”
Remus nods. He sits up and pulls his wand out from his muggle jeans, taking the hat from Peter and placing it in front of him.
“Alright,” he mumbles. “Let’s get out of here.”
Remus throws a towel over his shoulders and steps out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He squints at the dark dormitory, but just Sirius is there, sitting on his bed, watching him with those bright, grey eyes.
“Where is James and Peter?”
“The kitchen.”
Remus approaches Sirius and takes a seat beside him, sighing heavily. He looks out the window in front of him, at the clear night sky and the thousands of twinkling stars. Sirius seems to be oddly calm, just sitting quietly beside Remus, watching the window as well. The silence puts him at ease, calms him after the whole ordeal today.
“You still haven’t apologized for calling me an idiot,” Sirius murmurs.
“Pads, I call you worse things on a daily basis. It’s not that bad,” Remus replies. Sirius just crosses his arms and huffs defiantly. Remus sighs. He’s sighing a lot today.
“Sorry.”
Sirius doesn’t budge. Remus glares.
“I’m sorry for calling you an idiot even though it’s not that deep.”
Still, Sirius continues to remain unfazed. Remus wants to chuck him down Gryffindor tower.
“I’m sorry, love,” Remus mumbles to the window. A conspicuous blush invades his face. Sirius uncrosses his arms and turns his body to face Remus. He’s smiling. It’s not a smirk, or a grin, but a literal, genuine smile. Remus holds his breath.
“Do you love me?” asks Sirius. His eyes bore into Remus’. Two grey skies, two foggy clouds. Remus thinks they’re beautiful.
“Of course I do.”
Sirius continues to stare into Remus’ eyes. Remus can’t help but do the same. He feels that if he looks away, he’ll break some kind of barrier. So when Sirius starts to lean closer, Remus just wraps his arms around his slim waist and closes the distance between their lips.
Remus has kissed Sirius plenty of times, but he will never get used to the boy’s charm. Remus inhales sharply as he feels Sirius’ tongue exploring his mouth, running over his teeth, transferring his saliva to him, doing a dance with Remus’.
It feels way too suggestive, but Remus finds himself not caring. Is this lust or love? Remus pulls Sirius onto his lap, holding him tight as they share their kiss in the dark. Remus pulls away shortly after, panting. Sirius smirks. He cups Remus’ face and tilts his head slightly to kiss him again, his legs simultaneously curling so his knees press into Remus’ rear.
A few minutes pass before Sirius starts kissing his neck, occasionally gnawing on the thin skin as he goes. Remus grits his teeth as his fingers tighten around Sirius. He battles with himself as to not make a sound, but after awhile, he can’t take it anymore.
“Sirius…” Remus half-whispers, half-moans. He digs his fingernails into Sirius’ back in response to him biting his neck again.
“Yeah, Moons?”
Remus bites his lip. His hand slowly loosens and moves to bury itself in Sirius’ hair. Whatever he was going to say, he can’t remember. He says the first thing that comes to mind instead.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“No, really though. I would kill myself if you were gone.”
Sirius smiles as he gently tugs one of Remus’ honey brown curls. “Me too. But that won’t happen,” he whispers, kissing Remus again, sweet and short. His hand strokes his cheek. “I promise.”
Remus laughs as he nuzzles his nose against Sirius’. He loves this boy. He really loves this boy. He would do anything for him.
“Damn you, Sirius Black.”
Remus presses his lips against Sirius’. His hand is still in his hair, but now Remus is gripping a fistful of his lover’s beautifully brushed hair. Remus presses harder into Sirius and smirks when he hears the small whimper it produces.
Remus pulls Sirius back via his hair, which makes him grit his teeth and grunt. Remus doesn’t say anything, just smirks and goes back to kissing Sirius.
Neither of them seem to have a sense of time, so the moment when footsteps could be heard stomping up the stairs, they have to race against fate. Remus quickly untangles himself from Sirius and fixes his incoherent boyfriend’s hair to make him look a bit more presentable. Remus only has time to wipe his lips before the dormitory door slams open and James and Peter come barreling in, snorting with laughter.
“Did you see Filch’s face as we threw the stink pellets at him?” James guffaws.
“It was hilarious!” Peter giggles.
Remus realizes a second too late that he’s still in Sirius’ bed. James glances their direction and gasps, a hand clapping over his mouth. Remus cringes in embarrassment, hiding his blush in his sweater.
“Moony and Pads were fucking!” James announces in a childish, tattletale voice. Peter’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“What?!” Remus splutters, his face flushing crimson. He quickly glances at Sirius, whose eyes are still dazed and his face still flushed daylily pink. Remus shakes his head, frantically waving his hands around to make his point. “No, we weren’t! I—!”
“You have hickeys,” Peter muses.
Remus slaps a hand over his neck, blushing furiously. “This is all your fault,” he hisses at Sirius.
Remus slides off Sirius’ bed and stomps over to his drawer, tugging out a scarf and wrapping it around his neck. He faces James and Peter, his glare like knives. “We never speak of this again.”
“So you were making out!” James exclaims.
“In a bed,” adds Peter.
From the corner of his eye, Remus can see Sirius grinning. He stands absolutely still as Sirius walks over and wraps his arms around Remus’ waist, burying his face into his sweater. Remus’ eyes widen.
“Moony,” Sirius pleads. Remus bites his lip at Sirius’ sleepy form, his messy hair, his oversized muggle hoodie. The way he clings to Remus and how he’s so damn short.
“Come back.”
James and Peter snicker. Remus is just frozen, blushing, and embarrassed to the core of his bone.
Eventually, he comes back to bed with Sirius. Remus makes sure to wait until James and Peter are far gone into the dream realm before he even dares to speak to Sirius.
“You’re insufferable,” Remus mumbles as he pulls Sirius onto his lap. He presses his hand to the back of Sirius’ head, letting him bury his face in his sweater.
“I know,” Sirius replies softly. He wraps his arms around Remus, hugging him close as he shuts his eyes, his cheek resting against Remus’ chest.
Remus smiles and starts to stroke Sirius’ back, then closes his eyes himself. Immediately, he feels calm. At peace. Sirius usually brings these things to him. And Remus welcomes it all with open arms.
This is what love has done to him. It feels nice not to care though.