Work Text:
Dream stumbled through the foyer, past the living room and into the kitchen. George and Sapnap stared at him from the couch, the two of them sharing a blanket while watching something on the tv. Dream couldn’t hear whatever was playing over the static in his ears. The sound of the kitchen drawers opening was agonizing. He just needed some tylenol. Why couldn’t he find the damn tylenol?
“Dreamy, you okay?” Sapnap wrapped his arms around Dream’s waist, pulling him in lovingly. He would’ve jumped if it didn’t feel like his head was going to pop from his headache.
“I’m fine. Head jus’ hurts,” he slurs. He finally opened the right drawer and grabbed the entire bottle out.
“You don’t really sound fine. How much did you drink, baby?”
“I don’t know. Jus’- Just leave me alone.” He pushed at Sapnap’s wrist to make him let go, heading to his room with his tylenol in hand.
He kicked off his shoes at the bottom of the stairs and resorted to walking on the front of his feet the rest of the way. The sound of his heels hitting the floor made a storm begin in his skull.
He didn’t mean to brush Sapnap off like that, but he needed a nap. It was too hard to think.
Dream’s room was dark when he opened the door, making him sigh in relief. He tossed his beanie somewhere and collapsed onto the bed, uncaring if his clothes were gross and dirty from the bar.
He did care, really, he felt gross and dirty. But he couldn’t muster up the energy to get changed.
Sapnap and George have previously reminded him to change when he got home from a bar, and usually he did.
Anytime he forgot, Sapnap and George would carefully remind him about his clothes before helping him get undressed.
They’d be so gentle with him, tell him they love him. But Dream knew they were starting to get annoyed with him. Why would they care about someone that couldn’t even take care of himself?
He knew there was an easy solution to this. And he had to prepare himself to make that jump. He didn’t know how he’d be able to move on, though. Move out? Or maybe Sapnap and George would move out to LA, it’d be more convenient for them.
And Dream would be alone.
It’s fine. No one needs to move out. They could- They could all still live together. Even if it hurt him more in the end, Dream–selfishly–couldn’t bear to see how much happier they’d be without him.
Before he could get too much deeper into his spiral, his mattress dipped on either side of him and two pairs of hands settled on his body. Sapnap’s hands were in his hair trying to coax him into lifting his head. George held onto one of his arms, thumbs stroking the tender skin of his tricep.
“Are you alright, honey?”
“‘m tired.”
“Okay, that’s okay. Are you able to sit up so you can get changed?”
Dream tried shaking his head, but his movements were restricted from the bed sheets.
“Okay... Can we at least get your jeans off? Those can’t be very comfy.” Their annoyance was getting worse, he could tell. He wanted them to stop touching him.
He shook his head again.
“Why’re you being so stubborn, idiot? You’re gonna smell like alcohol.” Why would he call him that now? Couldn’t George tell he wasn’t in the mood?
“Sorry.” His voice wavered.
“Hey, baby boy, he was just teasing you. We just wanna help you put on your pajamas.”
“I- I know. Just an off day.”
“How come? You can tell us what’s on your mind, baby.”
This was it. This was his chance to say what he needed. He hesitated for a second. What if they were happy about it? Truly happy. Then they would really move out, probably get married. And Dream would have to be okay with that.
He was okay.
“I- I think we- Um. I think we should break up.” Dream averted his eyes, it was far too much for him to think about what he was doing now. He missed how neither George nor Sapnap looked relieved.
“What? Why are you- Why?” Sapnap backed off of him.
Dream shrugged.
“I don’t- I don’t know. Just don’t feel good about it, I guess.” George kept his eyes trained on Dream’s face, even as they welled with tears.
“Is this about what’s happening online?” George asked, voice small and shaky. Another shrug.
“You said- You said that we kept you happy. We’re- We’re your rocks, right? You said that when we first got together, remember?”
“George,” Sapnap warned.
“No, he- He can’t- He can’t say that, not after everything we did to get here! What I- What I did.” Dream kept his cries quiet as he dug his face into his pillow.
“George, come on. You’re not- You’re not being fair.”
“I’m not being fair? He can’t do this shit just because people online don’t like him. We like him, that’s all that should matter.”
“Well he clearly doesn’t understand that, George. Maybe if you actually talked to us about how you feel, we’d get things more.”
“Fuck you, Sapnap. You know- You know how hard it is for-” Dream couldn’t take listening to this anymore, they were talking right through him. He made a beeline for his bathroom, locking the door behind him and sinking to the ground.
This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. Dream just had to go and open his mouth. Now he fucked everything up. Even Sapnap and George were falling apart because of him. He could add that to his list of things he didn’t like about himself.
He cried too much, he was too big, his chin was stupid, his nose was ugly, he talked too much. He ruined his boyfriends’ relationship.
He wished he could just go back in time. Before the three of them blew up. He missed being just some stupid kid, playing Minecraft all day and never leaving the house.
The door handle rattled, sending Dream further into his hysteria. He let out a sob that made him sound like a wounded animal.
“Dream! I’m sorry! Come on, baby. Me and George are done arguing. We- We just wanna talk this through with you, alright?”
He took a gasping breath, trying to listen to Sapnap’s words. It was just so hard. He couldn’t focus on anything besides his cries, reminding him of how ugly he looked when he got emotional.
Dream threaded his fingers into his own hair and tugged harshly at the roots in an attempt to ground himself. He was getting gaggy. He couldn’t breathe.
“Dream, honey. Can you open the door for us?” George’s voice was a lot softer and quieter than Sapnap’s.
“No!” Dream’s scream was so loud he scared even himself. It made his head throb, echoed off the bathroom walls. George and Sapnap were silent on the other side of the door.
No one spoke for a long time. Dream still lay curled up on his side, counting the number of floor tiles he could see through teary eyes.
He couldn’t recall being exhausted enough to fall asleep, but when he awoke to the setting sun glaring in his eyes, he guessed that was what had happened. It must’ve been nearly two hours that he laid there. His joints ached, begging him to move somewhere soft like his bed. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t get his body to move.
Dream felt so hopeless.
He at least managed to sit up, stretching out his legs. He knew he had to clean himself up, dried tears making his cheeks feel stiff, but he kept telling himself not yet. He couldn’t do it.
How could he face George and Sapnap after a meltdown like that? He never gave them any hints, no warnings; just the sudden idea to break up.
Dream wiped at his eyes, getting rid of the crust. Gross. He didn’t want to know what he looked like in the mirror.
Eventually, he pushed himself enough to unlock the door. The click was louder than expected, but that meant George and Sapnap would hopefully hear. If they were still in Dream’s bedroom, that is.
When he didn't hear footsteps on the other side of the door, Dream sighed to himself and waddled to the sink. He avoided meeting his own eyes in the mirror and used his hands to scrub at his face with water. His beard felt uncomfortably scratchy against his palms.
Dream gently dried off with a towel, wanting to delay returning to his room as much as possible. Which was dumb, his room is supposed to be the safest place in the house for him.
But after a few slow breaths, he finally felt ready enough to leave the bathroom. Though his headache was splitting, he knew he wouldn’t feel any better until he talked to Sapnap and George.
What he wasn’t ready for, however, was how the pair waited on his bed for him. They both looked just as exhausted as Dream.
George straightened up first, a light missing from his eyes that Dream hadn’t noticed until it was gone. But Sapnap still had his smile. It made the hurt in Dream’s heart drift away slightly.
“Are you coming back to bed, puppy?” Dream nodded slowly and watched as Sapnap and George scooted away from each other, creating a space that was the perfect size for him.
Against his better judgement, he immediately crawled into the spot and got comfortable.
Sapnap brought Dream’s head to his lap, threading his fingers through flattened curls.
One of George’s hands found its way into Dream’s. His fingers played with the rings Dream never took off the night before.
“You okay now?”
“Mm.”
“What’s ‘mm’ supposed to mean?”
“I don’t- I don’t know. I’m tired.”
“I’m sure, Dreamy. We can all get some sleep after we talk, alright?”
“About what?”
“Dream,” George scolded. His tone left no room for protest, and he knew it’d get Dream talking.
Although he took a while to start, Dream couldn’t help but begin to spill out through the cracks in his foundation.
“I’m sorry. I- I know I’ve been avoiding you guys. And- And I’ve been-” Drinking too much lately. Gaining weight I don’t want. “I’ve been such an asshole any time we do spend time together. I haven’t really been.. Here, I guess.” He eyed where his shirt rode up. The weight he had put on was in his stomach, making it pudge out slightly right above his elegant scar. It really wasn’t that awful, he knew deep in his mind, but bad days were bad days for a reason.
Sapnap saw him staring and pulled his shirt down for him.
“Baby, you’re alright. Just look at us right now, okay?”
“I’m sorry.”
“What’re you apologizing for, Dreamy? This isn’t your fault.”
“It- It is. I’m such a bad boyfriend, I- I was gonna break up with you guys- I-”
“Breathe, Dream. You’re not a bad boyfriend for something like that.”
“I don’t want to break up. I don’t know why I even sug- Suggested it.” Dream felt George rest his face atop his head.
He hadn’t even noticed how silent George had been. He was about to look up to check on him, but the feeling of wetness on his scalp told him everything he needed to know.
God, he’d been so in his own mind he hadn’t even stopped to think how this would affect George. And to think he would’ve been happy about any of this? Dream really did feel like an asshole.
“I’m not- I’m- I’m gonna start drinking less. And- And we’re gonna hang out again. We can take a vacation or something.”
“Where would we go?” George whispered.
“I don’t- I don’t know. But I’m gonna take my life back. I- I’ll do it right this time, with you guys.”