Chapter Text
A loud racket buzzes through Miko's ears, a weary groan escapes her lips. She hears an annoyed scoff in response as the cushion below her legs begins to dip from additional weight. Ugh, she can feel him against her shins.
"Hnn, turn that off," Miko grumbles lazily, hiding her head beneath her blanket. "And get lost while you’re at it."
"Hell no," a nasally voice scoffs defiantly in response, "Not my fault your fat butt is hogging the couch on a Saturday."
"'t's my bed..." In desperation to escape the boy and all the calamity he so often brings her, Miko rolls over. "What time is it even?"
"8 AM."
That's way too early for her to be dealing with this nonsense. Miko barely got nine hours of sleep. That should be a felony! "If you don't turn that off right now, I'm telling your mom about the other day."
Miko was tasked by her friend, Ei, to pick up the boy from school that day, since Ei was stuck at work. What Miko did not expect to see when she arrived at his school was the boy purposely pushing another student into the mud. It was hilarious, Miko admits, but it was also sweet, sweet blackmail to use against her 10-year-old nemesis.
"Hah!" he chuckles like a dramatic cartoon super villain. It radiates second hand embarrassment. "Try me."
She's going to throttle that scrawny neck of his. Miko kicks off her blanket and shoots up straight. "Kuni, I swear to-"
"Oh!" A cheerful gasp interrupts Miko. "Good morning, you two. Finally getting along?"
Instantly, the boy's prideful demeanor vanishes and something more unnerving takes its place. "Yep! Showing Ms. Yae my favorite show!"
"Eh?" Miko hums, somehow paralyzed in fear of disappointing Ei. Right, wringing that runt's neck would definitely make Ei disappointed in her.
"Yay! That makes delivering this news a relief, then." Ei clasps her hands together quietly and
takes a deep breath to continue. "Miko, will you be a dear and keep an eye on the kids for me? You remember that game I was raving on about yesterday? I just got a phone call from the store, and they're holding onto the collector's edition for me, but they want me to pick it up aye es aye pee..."
"Both?" Kunikuzushi is already a nightmare to supervise, but Ei's daughter is an entirely different kind of handful.
"It'll only be thirty minutes, an hour, tops..." Ei stares at Miko with a depressing frown as she pleads, "Pretty please?"
The enthralling pretty please...Miko's greatest weakness. Saying no to it is impossible for her. Not like she was ever going to say no in the first place. Ei has been kind enough to let her crash on her couch free of charge for the past month. It's the least she can do. But, gods, are her kids truly something else.
Miko speaks through an incredibly forced grin, "...I'd love to. Where's the little one at?"
"Her room, having one of her 'tea parties…'"
"Understood." Miko nods to hide her shudder. "Drive save, babygirl."
Kuni dry heaves.
"Oh, Miko, quit saying such silly things," Ei giggles as she plants a kiss on her son's cheek, leaving a stain. "I will, though! Bye, Kuni, I love you."
He flails an annoyed hand at his mom in order to shoo her away. "Ugh! Gross..."
When Ei turns around (not before rolling her eyes), Miko places a hand on Kuni's shoulder and whispers, "Go one, say it back, she could die in a terrible car crash and her last thoughts could very well be 'oh! Woe is me, why didn't my beloved son say I love you too?!'"
Ei stops dead in her tracks and yells, "Miko!"
Thankfully, Kuni cluelessly bails her out when he runs up to his mom and suddenly hugs her side. "I-I love you too, mama!"
"Aww, thank you!” Ei coos as she pats Kuni on his head. While still patting her son, Ei narrows her eyes and frowns at Miko. “We'll talk about this when I get home..."
When Ei leaves and closes the door behind her, Kuni grins devilishly. "Ooooh, you got her mad. Better start packing your bags now."
"In your dreams.” Even though Miko sticks her tongue out at Kuni with confidence, a small part of her worries what he said will become true. If that’s the case, the only thing she can do that might save her ass is atonement via grade-a babysitting. Now… how does one connect with children again? Take interest in their interests? Is that it? Miko casts her gaze toward the wicked television that disturbed her beauty sleep and asks, “What are you even watching?"
Disinterested, Kuni shrugs, "Hell if I know, I just wanted a good excuse to wake you."
This kid needs to be studies in a lab. "I find your antisocial tendencies to be intriguing, honestly. In terms of apples and trees, you were basically chucked through the air the moment you dropped."
He stares at her blankly and mutters, "What?"
"You're a monster, yet your mom is an angel."
The boy chuckles, as if he gets some sort of sick enjoyment from being told that. "Mama says I get it from my bio mom," Kuni explains.
Although that would certainly explain a few things, it only fills Miko’s head with more questions. Kuni’s biological mother, Raiden Makoto, has always been sung with high praise from her twin sister, Ei, yet despite Ei’s endless adoration for her dearly departed sister, there has always been a lingering implication left unaddressed in the air. One that still haunts the Raiden Family to this very day. For the time being, Miko chooses to be left in the dark. Not only is it none of her business, but it remains to be an incredibly difficult topic for both Ei and Kuni to discuss in general.
"Interesting,” Miko simply notes to keep this whole can of worms closed. “Well, have fun with your anime, I'm going to raid your fridge."
"Get me something, too," Kuni demands calmly.
"Get it yourself, runt."
"I'll tell my mom on you if you don't."
Dammit. Miko cannot refuse, and Kuni knows that. He’s going to make her life a living hell. "Ugh, fine, but don't you dare complain if I get you something that isn't to your liking."
Miko storms offs to the kitchen. After a brief examination of the fridge and cabinets, Miko realizes it’s slim pickings here. To put it lightly, Ei is… no cook. Most of the time, she relies on fast food and frozen meals to feed her children. That cannot be any good for any of them in the long run. Perhaps Miko should change that. Later. For now, she’s keeping it simple and scrambling an entire carton of eggs and slathering butter on several slices of toast.
"Here," Miko says while abruptly dropping the plate onto the coffee table in front of the couch. “I hope you like your eggs scrambled and orange juice”
"You really went all out with thus, huh?” Kuni inquisitively pokes the food with his fork. Once he’s confident that it’s not poisoned, he also says, “If you cook for me more often, I might put in a good word for you with Mama."
Miko glares at Kuni as a devilish grin grows on her face. "Wouldn’t you rather have your mama's cooking?"
Kuni shudders in horror, making Miko burst out in a fit of laughter. When her composure returns, she wheezes, "Don't choke while I deliver this to your sister. I wanna be there when it happens."
Miko makes her way to the youngest's room, her breakfast and orange juice in hand, which makes it rather difficult to knock on the girl's door. So, Miko gently kicks it a couple of times.
"I made you breakfast. Open your door if you want it," she hollers at the door.
Ten seconds pass, and then another. She hears rustling on the other side of the door. Another 10 seconds pass before it finally opens.
"Well hello, little one,” Miko greets with a cheerful but forced smile. “Hungry?"
Sho simply nods. She doesn't talk – at least, she has never uttered a single word to Miko before. Honestly, Miko prefers that over Kuni's excessive yapping. When she asked Ei why the girl’s full name is “Shogun,” Ei casually explained to Miko how both her and Kunikuzushi got to choose their own names, so it would only be fair to let Sho pick one out for herself as well. This, along with Kuni’s own chosen name, only presented more questions for Miko to ask, but she’s saving those for a rainy day.
The girl points at her miniature table displayed elegantly in the middle of her room. This must be where her tea party was taking place. The freshly beheaded dolls sitting around it is a dead giveaway. She'll have to reattach their heads later. But first, food delivery! Miko squats down to set the food and drink on it. When she turns around to leave, she realizes the door is closed again.
Her eyebrow raises at the little one while she asks, "What’s this now? Am I, of all people, being cordially invited to your party?"
The girl nods and pulls back a chair for Miko to sit in. Miko towers over the tiny chair, but regardless, she sits down on it. It bends under her weight, and she hits her shins against the table. Gods, it’s so uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Miko endures. To win Ei's heart, she must gain the affection of these brats.
A strange thought suddenly jolts through Miko’s brain. If and when she does win Ei’s heart, she would essentially become an unwilling step-mom. That’s an outcome she never once expected to happen to her. She'd be lying, though, if she said Ei’s kids weren't as adorable as Ei herself. However, she’ll take that to the grave.
Sho's breakfast goes swimmingly, even if at one point, Miko was forced to do her own brutal doll execution for the little one's entertainment. With that out of the way, Miko can finally eat her own breakfast. It's probably cold by now...
As she gets up to leave, there’s a shy tug on her pajama bottoms. When Miko looks down toward the source, she see’s Sho doing the fabled uppies gesture. How can Miko refuse such a rare privilege? With an exaggerated groan, she lifts the girl up and carries her downstairs.
"Took you long enough. I choked to death two times already. It was poggers."
Miko is not even going to ask what that word means. Instead, she just scoffs in his direction, "Sure, Kuni. Scoot your booch for us."
Miko eats her frigid breakfast, content and surrounded by annoying brats. In comfortable silence, the three of them watch the ever thrilling Saturday morning cartoons that awoke Miko earlier. Funnily enough, Miko, along with Sho, finds herself dozing off to these supposedly exciting cartoons. By the time Ei gets home, she discovers two sleeping girls and a son hypnotized by the flashes and crashes of some shounen anime.
"Hey, ma," he carefully whispers.
"Hi," Ei whispers back, "Sorry that took so long, traffic was terrible. What are you watching?"
"I dunno."
"Ah, I see. I trust Miko behaved well while I was gone." Truth be told, Ei was expecting to walk into a war zone when she returned. The peaceful atmosphere is surprising, but graciously welcomed. She can only hope it stays this way. As much as a lovely addition Miko has been to her life, Ei was beginning to think things wouldn’t work out with how often she was butting heads with Kuni. Her son may be a bit of an ass, but at the end of the day, Ei will always choose his comfort and happiness over that of a friend’s.
"She makes good eggs and toast,” Kuni grunts, eyes never once looking away from the television. “I'd rate her babysitting an eight out of ten.Tsk, Sho hasn’t even tried killing her yet, too."
Ei leans over the couch to observe Miko and her daughter napping together with a warm smile. How cute. She could watch them for hours.
"Still comfortable with her living with us?" She asks her son while she tucks stray hairs behind her daughter’s ear,
"Yeah, she's fun to torment."
"You know, she would say the same exact thing about you."
"Eh, bring it on."
Ei gently strokes Miko's cheek, attempting to wake her. Her eyes flutter open, and she blushes at the sight of the older woman so close to her – touching her.
"Oh dear me,” Miko’s voice cracks embarrassingly, but if anyone noticed, they pay it no mind. “Did I just get caught sleeping on the job?"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. You're fired," Ei teases, or at least, attempts to.
Miko squints and looks from side to side, trying to fully comprehend Ei’s words. After a few seconds, she gives up and huffs, "It's incredibly difficult to tell when you're being sincere or sarcastic."
"Yeah, you really gotta use your tone indicators," Kuni suddenly butts in. “We’ve been over this.”
Ei blinks, confused. "I… I don't think that's possible to do in person?"
While barely holding back his laughter, he tries to instruct the poor woman, "Just say ‘slash J’ or ‘S’ at the end of your sentences."
"Very well, slash S." The confused look returns to Ei’s expression, and she asks, “S stands for serious, right? Not sarcastic?”
"He's trying to make a fool out of you, Ei."
"Shush it, this can be funny." Kuni attempts to cover Miko’s mouth with his hand, however, even in her drowsy state, Miko is far too agile for him. With her free hand, she grabs hold of his wrist and keeps it in place.
"Bamboozled by my own son, how could you? You must face punishment.” Calmly, Ei places her brand new, collector’s edition box on her son’s lap. “Keep an eye on your sister and boot up my game, I need to have a word with Miko. And be gentle with the packaging this time, please."
Kuni rolls his eyes, but follows Ei’s orders diligently. "Tsh, fine."
Sho is gently placed on the couch. Miko’s consideration is, for once, remarkable. Once Miko tucks a blanket over the girl, she gives Ei her full attention. What she doesn’t expect, though, is for Ei to take hold of her hand and lead her into the kitchen.
Now that the kids are out of earshot, Ei glares at Miko. She looks furious. “Alright, first of all, if you ever make another joke about me dying or car accidents again, I will personally throw you out of my house. Do you understand me, Yae Miko?”
It’s evident that Miko accidentally struck a nerve earlier. She has never seen Ei this upset before. She didn’t even know Ei was capable of getting this angry. Practically paralyzed with fear, all Miko can do is nod slowly.
“Second of all…” But, as quickly as the rage exploded, it dissipates, and Ei suddenly wraps her strong arms around Miko and hugs her. "Thank you so much for watching them."
"It's – it’s the least I can do." Miko shrugs nonchalantly once free. Her immensely flushed face and quivering body implies there is nothing nonchalant about this interaction, though. Seems like it’s all water under the bridge, at least.
"Well, it means the world to me. You have no idea how relieving it is to have someone around that the kids actually like for once."
"Previous bad experiences?" inquires Miko.
"I'll say,” Ei sighs, the warm smile on her face fading away. “I've beaten up my fair share of bigots in the past for their sakes. I don’t understand how people can be so cruel to children, but I also neither have the patience, either."
"My, now that would be something I’d pay to see," Miko muses, yet despite her unserious words, she clasps her palms around Ei’s clenching fist and soothes it with soft rubbing.
Ei does nothing to avoid Miko’s ministrations, in fact, she practically melts to them, murmuring, "I'd really rather not get into any more fistfights. Besides, I should be the one paying you. Name your price, Miko."
"A kiss from my fair lady would be more than enough for me."
Ei’s lips form a straight line as she stares Miko down with pure, unadulterated unamusement. "Be serious."
Miko takes a step closer to Ei and returns the stare with a half-lidded, seductive one of her own. "I am."
Alas, Ei takes a step back, stammering, “I-I can’t.”
All Miko can do is deflate, looking like a sad, wet puppy.
Sensing the despair she’s causing, Ei shuffles forward and blurts, "I mean, it's not that I don't want to, b-but at least let me take you out for dinner first. You… You deserve so much more than a simple kiss."
"Ahhh,” Miko is obviously skeptical and wonders, “But whoever will watch the kids in my absence?"
"We would ourselves. It’ll be a family outing. All you have to do is survive the evening – if you're up to the challenge, that is."
Miko can’t help but to feel like she’s constantly undergoing tests when she’s with Ei. Under normal circumstances, this would frustrate Miko to no end but… Ei is very sweet and very, very hot. It’s pathetic how weak she is for her. Nonetheless, Miko giggles unabashedly before husking, "For you? Always."
Ei’s hands clasp together in excitement while cheering, "Yay!” The fanfare quickly dies down afterward, and an awkward silence overtakes the kitchen. Impatience fills Ei’s face and trembles throughout her body until she finally says, “Um, I want to play my game now… Do you want to watch?"
"Hmm, that depends, will you spend the entire time going into great detail over the mechanics, story, and lore?"
"For you? Always," Ei mimics.
"Wonderful." Miko wouldn’t have it any other way.
"Sho, honey, you're getting water all over the table," Ei gentle chastises.
Her daughter huffs as she continues to use her straw to rain droplets of water on its scrunched up wrapper.
"We don't want the poor thing to die of dehydration now?" Miko chimes in. Such comments only serve to egg the girl on.
"Well, I suppose staying hydrated is important…” Ei admits defeat with a loving smile and a kiss on the top of Sho’s head. As long as she’s enjoying herself. “Just make sure you clean up once you're done."
"Psst, mom – hey mom, mom,” Kuni pesters over and over again until his mother finally acknowledges him with a questioning tilt of her head. “Wanna see a cool way to get free cake?"
Ei’s eyes widen, and she leans closer to her son, eager for answers. "Cake, you say? Yes, tell me."
Kuni grabs the attention of the waiter and innocently says, "Hey, mister, hey! Did you know it's my mommy’s birthday today?" He points at Miko, sentencing her to at least a straight minute of public 2nd hand embarrassment.
For whatever reason, Miko’s heart skips a beat when she hears him call her that… then, it begins to pound as the rest of his words register. "...You wouldn't," Miko mutters under her breath in disbelief at this rascal's trickery.
After the waiter unenthusiastically leaves to grab more employees, Kuni flashes a diabolical grin toward Miko. "I would."
That miniscule fucker. Miko would’ve done the same exact thing, sure. But! He did it before she could do it, and that’s just not fair.
"Miko!” Ei gasps, brimming with excitement. “Why didn't you tell me today was your birthday? Happy birthday!"
"Unless we time traveled to the 27th of June, it's not. Your son just feebly attempted to humiliate me."
"Huh? That's only a day after mine… w-wait, Kuni, is that true? Can we have one night where you two remain civil?"
"Oh whoopsies. I could've sworn I overheard her say it was today. Haha, my bad," Kuni lies. To his own mother, of all people.
Miko will have her revenge. And she will get it quickly. After enduring the humiliating song sung to here by underpaid, overworked restaurant employees, she’s given her complimentary slice of cake. At the very least, she will have her cake and eat it too. But when Miko notices Ei's watering mouth, she has a change of plans. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and judging by the dry texture of the cake, it has been sitting in the fridge, uncovered, for at least a day.
"Do you want it? You'll probably enjoy it more than me." Miko shifts her gaze toward Kuni and smirks.
Sheepishly, Ei asks, "Is that okay?"
"Hmm, I suppose it is, but on one condition. I must feed it to you."
Ei hesitates for a split second, but relents with a shameful nod. So, Miko slowly digs her fork into the slice and holds it toward Ei's mouth, all the while never breaking eye contact with Kuni. His cringing face is almost more delicious than any cake on Teyvat.
"Dinner was nice," Miko mentions, now just her and Ei lounging around on the living room couch. The two children are fast asleep and all is finally quiet.
Ei hums as she takes a sip from her wine glass. "Despite Kuni's shenanigans?" she asks amusedly before putting the glass back on the table.
"Variety is the spice of life, dear Ei.” Miko shrugs, nearly spilling her own glass of wine on her bed. “I can respect the cunningness. He’s going to be a real force to be reckoned with when he’s older."
"If you say so..." Ei dismisses, busy staring at nothing all of the sudden. This is hardly the first time she’s done this.
Regardless of how frequenty this happens, Miko worries the same everytime. “Everything alright there?"
"Hm? I'm fine, just drained."
"Are you sure?" Miko reaches a hand out and holds Ei’s arm, hoping to pull her back into reality.
"...I’m feeling sentimental right now. It has been awhile since I was up this late with someone else – no distractions or sounds in the way. Just me and someone dear.” Ei pauses to take another sip of her wine. Her finger traces the rim of her glass while she continues, “Growing up, Makoto used to sneak into my room in the middle of the night, and we would always just lie there, either in silence or rambling about anything and everything. With you by my side, the small light from my abysmal childhood has returned."
"Can I hold your hand?" Miko asks softly, noticing Ei’s mood getting lower by the second.
"Please."
Fingers stroke Ei’s arm as they glide toward their destination. Her thumb strokes the top of the older woman’s hand while murmuring, "I can't imagine the pain of losing someone like that."
"It's been years and the pain is still ever-present, like I just lost her yesterday. Every time I look at my children – her children, I'm reminded of her. They have her smile, her laugh… the tears they shed, they’re just like Makoto’s. Some mornings I’m barely able to face them. The dread ways me down as if I’m wading through sludge.”
Miko squeezes the other’s hand tighter. "And yet, you still face them."
"I have to. No one else would."
"I could.” She leans closer to Ei, lips dangerously close to the mother’s. “I can relieve some of your burden."
Ei closes her eyes, shaking her head, "Miko, come on now. I appreciate the sentiment, I truly do. But, what you’re requesting to relieve is a lifelong commitment. The things that you feel for me; they’re so often transient – I must know how serious you are first. Don't just say that if all you want out of it is my affection. Do it because you know in your heart that you will love me and my children."
"That obvious, huh?" Miko laughs awkwardly, letting go of Ei’s hand. The pain of this rejection is so bitter, so true. It would be easier if Ei just said no instead of forcing Miko to confront the harsh truth. The fleeting nature of commitments and mentally ill 20 year olds.
"You’re not the first alluring, young woman to try to woo me. I’m actually quite familiar with your kind."
"I see..." Her hope is shattered into a million of pieces.
"For what it's worth,” Ei yanks Miko back suddenly, and she collapses on top of the older woman. “You’re doing leagues better than anyone else so far. I wouldn’t just regard any girl crushing on me as someone dear. Plus, Shogun likes you too, and she’s basically the litmus test."
"A-and what of Kuni?" wonders Miko aloud, trying her best to keep her composure as she’s held fondly against the other woman. By this point, she has no idea what is even going on. Keeping the conversation going will be the only way she can stay sane.
"He's constantly talking about you. I think he just struggles to show affection. He might like you more than we realize, honestly."
Kuni’s adoration comes as a surprise to Miko, however, an even bigger surprise is the realization that this is the first time Miko has ever been held. It feels too good, she could die right now and be content. Sadly, as wonderful and soothing as this feels, Miko’s reservations remain. "What should I do, then?"
"Keep at it, Miko. You'll know what you want in due time. And, until that time comes, we'll wait for you."
Her hope, so easily broken, will be put back together piece by piece. Miko will show Ei what she’s truly capable of. "Promise?"
Ei leans over and kisses Miko on the cheek. "Promise."