Chapter Text
The last time she saw him in person was about three years ago. When he was captured by Yamori and tortured for ten days straight. (Y/N) was part of the mission to rescue Kaneki. Her precious. She fought long and hard to find him, pushing her kagune to it's farthest extent. When she finally came across the rather large room where Kaneki was held in, she almost collapsed on the spot, but the sight of the blood-soaked oval structure maintained her stature. Desperately, she scanned the place, searching for an Anteiku uniform or a black-headed teenage boy or just some sort of life (because with all the blood around, it was enough to shake any hope of life).
Yes, she saw a sign of life. A body that was clothed with ripped garments that exposed thin (yet muscular) arms and legs. The figure stood straight, looking down at a bundle of bones and blood and guts. This figure had snowy white hair, the cleanest thing inside the room. Their rinkaku kagune was exposed and remained still. This person obviously did not sense (Y/N)'s presence.
'Who is that?' (Y/N) thought to herself. She cautiously took two steps forward, prepared to unleash her own (desired kagune type) if needed. Again, she took two more steps, this time stepping in a puddle of blood, causing the sound of contact to ripple throughout the air. The figure looked up from the mangled body but still kept their back to (Y/N).
Determined to know where Kaneki was, (Y/N) called out, "Hey! You!" The figure, a male, stood still, as if he didn't hear her voice. This time, (Y/N) raised her voice and called out a little louder, "Who are you? Where's Kaneki Ken?"
'This guy has to know,' (Y/N) thought, 'There's no reason for him to be here if he doesn't know where Kaneki is.'
The male's kagune remained exposed as he turned around slowly. (Y/N) squinted her eyes to focus her sight on his features. At first, she didn't recognize him. But after scanning his face, his stone-expression face, (Y/N) couldn't help but gasp loudly. His facial structure was all too familiar. The small, flat, nose. A slightly round face with a chin that came to a strong point. Round, slightly glazed eyes. One gray eye, one blood-red iris that stood out greatly against a black sclera.
A one-eyed ghoul.
"K..." (Y/N) muttered. "K-Kaneki?" She couldn't help but run forward, only to stop a few feet from him. She took in more of his look; his eyes were slightly sunken and she noticed that he had gotten taller. Kaneki remained expressionless as he stared at (Y/N).
She smiled softly. "Hey there," she breathed. "You look rather different. I couldn't recognize you from behind, but as soon as you turned around... yeah." Still, her lover did not show any feeling or any sign of feeling. He just stood there, unplaced. (Y/N) found his actions (or, rather, his in-actions) somewhat odd, but she decided to continue to speak.
"So, uh, yeah, I guess I found you. I think we should go now; Touka and everyone else are practically fighting their asses off as we speak."
'Or as I speak.'
Kaneki didn't move, but his kagune faded away and disappeared. At last, he opened his mouth and uttered quietly, "(Y/N), what are you doing here?"
(Y/N) was surprised at his question. "W-What do you mean? I'm here to rescue you, of course. You've been gone for ten days, for chrissakes." She let out a small exasperated laugh.
Kaneki didn't add to (Y/N)'s efforts of enlightening the mood. Instead he said, "You should leave."
"Um, why would I do that? Well, I mean, if you want to leave, then I'll leave with y--"
"No, (Y/N), you don't get it."
Her confusion grew. "I-I don't get it," she echoed his words.
"(Y/N)," this time, Kaneki stepped forward. "I'm telling you to go. Just leave. I'm leaving."
There was an unsettling feeling that was kindling in her stomach. "Kaneki, what?" Again, she let out a small laugh that hid her worry. "What do you mean you're leaving?"
"Why are you so clueless, (Y/N)?" Kaneki said with a more firm and frustrated tone. She was taken back by his question; she mirrored his tone.
"I'm not clueless, Kaneki. I'm just want to know! I see you after ten days, knowing that something bad was happening to you, and you're... cold. What happened to you?"
Kaneki was still expressionless, and it was beginning to piss his lover off. (Y/N) clenched her fists a little tighter, her teeth gritted.
"Fucking hell, Ken." Why was she getting so angry? It was because of how Kaneki was acting. She remembered him as a gentle creature, a nice boy who wouldn't hurt a fly unless forced to. He became a cold and harsh person, and why? (Y/N) wanted to know. "What happened? Tell me, now, what went on here during those ten days. Why is there so much blood here? What the fuck is that?" She pointed at the pile of remains. "Who is that?"
Kaneki's one kakugan disappeared and his eye returned to his normal gray tint, while (Y/N)'s kakugan manifested onto her eyes. She felt a sudden rush of anger and adrenaline, a rush she couldn't help.
"Tell me. I busted my ass to save you, and you tell me you want to leave? That is the wrong answer, honey." Normally, Kaneki would've been shocked at (Y/N)'s sudden spur of hostility, but this new Kaneki wasn't fazed at all.
"I had bad things happen to me in here, and I realized during those times that I need to get stronger. It's better for me and for you, too." Kaneki's voice was monotone as he explained why he was leaving.
(Y/N) didn't accept it, she refused to. The female ghoul suddenly gripped Kaneki's shoulders. "You're already strong. Even if you believe you aren't, you don't have to leave! You can stay with us, with me, at Anteiku. You can improve there." Kaneki's eyebrows furrowed, not in anger, but in second-thought. However, he shook his head, closing his eyes and then looking away.
Tears were building up behind (Y/N)'s eyes. "No, Kaneki, please, just... Just stay. I need you with me." She begged; he had to give in. She was his partner, he wasn't supposed to leave her.
(Y/N)'s grip on Kaneki's shoulders released, her hands slipped off and dangled at her sides. Kaneki took a loose hold on her left hand, and (Y/N) looked up, hopeful. Kaneki couldn't help but notice the push in her eyes, the look of faith. Faith for him to stay. It pulled on him like how winds pull gently on dry leaves.
But Kaneki was stubborn. He made up his mind.
He released (Y/N)'s hand and let it fall again. She was stunned; her mouth fell agape and her eyes widened. The buildup of tears returned and was too much for her; a few tears trailed down her cheeks and (Y/N) felt awful.
"Fine," she growled through gritted teeth. "Go. It's obvious you don't care about us. About me." (Y/N) broke the eye contact and rotated, then took off in a sprint towards the doorway. She didn't want to see his reaction. She didn't care, she didn't care, she didn't she didn't she didn't but oh my god she did.
Kaneki Ken, (Y/N) spun around again, voice desperate and regretful.
Where did the white go? The white that was so clean, so beautifully contrasted against the lackluster red room.
It was gone.
Kaneki had left her to become stronger; He took a huge amount of (Y/N)'s strength with him.
And that was three years ago.