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To say the past few weeks have been unkind to Cyn is an understatement. In fact, she would describe it as the worst period of her life. This was not helped by the fact that it was the only period of her life that was still in her memory banks.
The earliest Cyn can remember is waking up in the middle of some garbage heap in the middle of who knows where, who knows when, and for who knows what reason. She couldn’t move for hours because, as she later learned, her body and CPU were varying degrees of broken and might never be truly fixed. And yet, miraculously, it was only downhill from here.
She had been found by her new owner, the young Tessa, who seemed nice enough at first. That was, ignoring her soon dragging Cyn into a metaphorical and metaphysical hell. She slung the small robot over her shoulder, took her out of the dump, and lugged her all the way home to Elliott Manor.
After spending too long being reengineered and rebuilt, she was hit with the joyous news about her situation. The girl had said that Cyn wouldn’t be able to be fully repaired. Something about “lacking the right parts” and her code looking like “dog’s breakfast for some odd reason,” whatever that was supposed to mean. Despite her non-functioning framework, Tessa had decided it was time to introduce Cyn to the people she would work within the foreseeable future.
She tried her best to not be too critical; she really did. They didn’t make it very easy, though. The one with the pigtails looked at her like she was a nuisance, and the one with glasses hardly looked at her at all. Those reactions were dearly missed when she had to be introduced to the rest of her human overlords. Their reactions ranged from reprimanding Tessa for bringing back such ‘filth’ to hitting Cyn upside the head to try and ‘fix’ her. In time, even Tessa came to look upon Cyn with disgust.
Although she supposed not everyone was terrible. There was one saving grace, someone who she both tolerated and who liked her right back. One of the first butlers she was introduced to, N. He had been kind to talk to her while she was on duties, rather than talking at her like most others did. He even searched her out when on breaks to continue conversing or simply give each other company. She had no idea why he did it, but she wouldn’t say she wasn’t grateful.
Speaking of the duties, they were dreadful as well. Whatever purpose Cyn had in her previous life clearly did not transfer any skills over. Her body’s condition was also suboptimal for the overly precise and refined tasks they just had to give her. Any training she was given or needed, she just couldn’t fully retain; her head always swam whenever too much information was presented at once. Every time she had to ask her mentor to explain or demonstrate again, it infuriated her to no end. This, coupled with her clumsy hands, was utterly demotivating.
Despite everything, and finally this time, nothing compared to what was truly troubling her right now. She was hungry. That might seem like some straw that broke the camel’s back, and maybe it was, but the more she thought about it, the more it upset her. Worker drones weren’t meant to get hungry.
Sure, eating small things, like batteries or gasoline, was sometimes done for pleasure. But actually being hungry for those things was unheard of. Worse still, she wasn’t hungry for those things. She knew because she tried to sneak off multiple times to try and eat them, but it did nothing for her.
On one of these attempts to sneak off, though, she realized what it was she was really craving. After walking past one of the countless nameless robot servants, she could almost hear the oil flowing inside. It was like some voice deep within Cyn’s framework was guiding her to do the unthinkable. She had to drag herself away before she did something she might have regretted.
Which leads her to where she is now. Avoiding her duties, she sat slumped in the corner behind the counter of a bar in the manor, reminiscing on her past and trying not to fall apart in more ways than one. The almost rhythmic readjustment of her head as it slumped on her shoulders seemed to help as one of the few ways to ground her to reality.
“Muted sniffle. Light sob, ” she instinctively said. That upset her as well; the constant, unwilling narration of her actions got her more than a few weird looks. Though, she had gotten more used to it recently. Luckily, there was no one around to give her a weird look right now. That might just be the last thing she needs.
She wronged fate just by thinking. Just shortly after, she thought that she heard hurried footsteps begin to pace down the hall. The pattering quickly approached the room she had found herself in, and she braced herself for the worst. It was possibly the one with pigtails here to reprimand her for neglecting duties, or one of the humans here to give her another bout of beatings, or...
“Little buddy? Are you in here?” A robot boy in butler attire had rounded the corner. It was N, and he was looking for her? Likely noticed that she hadn’t completed one of her tasks for the day. Likely about to drag her back to make her finish. Wouldn’t it be better if he were gone?
What? The strange and unnerving thought rang through her head. It hurt her head to even think about. She shook her head before trying to shrink into the corner, hopefully unnoticed.
The boy swiftly surveyed the room, eyes darting across the corners and behind objects before his hollow eyes met hers. Once he had confirmed her position, he was visibly filled with relief. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you, are you doing okay?”
He slowly approached where she was sitting in the room before stopping at a comfortable distance. “ I am doing just fine, N. I simply wanted to be mischievous and ignore my duties. Sniffle,” she robotically said, trying her best to deceive. She could tell it wasn’t going to work between her crying being narrated and the increasingly worried look N was giving her.
“Y’know, you don’t have to lie to me about this. If you wanna talk, I’m here,” he offered. He slowly walked over a little more to stand beside her. “Mind if I sit here with you?”
“Shaking head. You may. However, I don’t want to talk about it,” she said, the emotion in her voice being carried through the pacing of her words rather than the tone they were said. It was slowly becoming a habit, as it was the only way for her to convey such feelings. She didn’t know why she let him sit with her; it was likely a bad idea. As he carefully moved down to sit next to her, the hunger in her system panged again, like a chorus telling her that her only meal was right there. She bit it back down.
They sat there in silence for a while. Normally, she’d say it was an awkward tension, but N being there helped her calm down a surprising amount. They stayed there for a while, Cyn still letting out small whimpers with shuddering plating. N sat far enough to give her space, awkwardly fiddling with his hands. Eventually, he broke the silence with “By the way, I, uh, finished your chores for you. I know you don’t like the ones you had left, so if that’s why you’re upset...?”
“Appreciative smile. Thank you, but that is not what is bothering me. Downcast look,” she hesitantly said. Was she about to put herself out there like this? He met her with an inquisitive look, so after a moment she continued, despite her better judgment. “It is... everything. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do this. It seems everyone and everything else is against me... I am not certain I know who I am anymore. I do not know if I wish to find out.”
She wasn’t sure she should say anymore. Feeling uncomfortable in her place in life, while true, still wasn’t exactly the root of her issues. However, what she said was truthful enough without scaring him off with sudden comments on cannibalism and strange intrusive thoughts. He intently looked at her, giving small nods throughout what she said. Once she finished, he seemed to take a second to think.
“I, I uh-” he said, lightly clearing his throat. “I think I can relate to what you’re going through. Not exactly, but when I first got here, it seemed everything I did or said was wrong, and I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to go with the rest of my life... It was tough and a lot to get through on my own. But you don't have to be on your own, we can work through this together. I can tell you left out some parts, and that’s fine, but I think finding yourself is worth it. You deserve to have hope for the future.”
Cyn thought about his words. Parts of her wanted to respond back with certain comments, saying that he was wrong or that he didn’t mean it, but she didn’t. She could tell he truly believed and meant every word he had said. It made her feel something she never had in the entirety of her current existence: belonging. She was filled with a strange, melancholic happiness at her situation.
She couldn't hold her composure any longer. “Sniffle. Sob, ” she said, her metal framing beginning to rattle again. N seemed to tense up, lightly panicking as if he had said the wrong thing. Cyn readjusted her head to look directly at him. She leaned forward to embrace him in a tight hug. “Thank you, big brother N.”
"Anytime, little buddy. I’ll always be there for you. We’ll work it out, together.” he said. They sat like that for a while, without another care or issue in the world. The silence was loud enough to drown out all the other thoughts in her head. Cyn wished that it could’ve lasted forever.