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He was back. Aventurine was back at Sigonia’s cruel deserts. He didn’t know how or why, he couldn’t even think or see clearly, but he knew. It would be impossible to forget.
The storm was here.
Hands pulled and stripped him, something went around his wrists and ankles and he felt something on his neck. Something long and thin repeatedly pressing against his skin.
The next thing he knew was the rattling sound of glass and metal and the sound of lightning. He was scared.
He was scared.
He knew they were coming for him. He wished it would be just over, if he would be dead-
Aventurine jolted awake from his dream, sitting up altogether. He felt tears in his eyes – it was an uncomfortable feeling, like he was blindfolded. Cold sweat drenched his clothes, blonde strands sticking to his cheeks, hands trembling. He felt sick in his abdomen, the sudden urge to throw up punched him in the guts.
He stumbled down from the bed, enjoying the cold marble against his feet. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them. Aventurine stared through the huge glass window which was basically the wall. The night lights of the city’s skyscrapers adorned with the muffled jazzy music from the streets was truly a sight to behold, but right now he didn’t want to look at it at all.
He was so fucking filthy and used.
He wanted to crawl out of his body so bad. He felt like he had two selves, his soul and this body, this filthy, impure and rotten thing that he’s forced to live in.
Aventurine flinched hard again upon hearing the sharp sound of the thunder. The sound of rain hitting the glass became louder and louder, forcing every other thought out of his mind. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
He wanted something, anything to pull him back, but if you cross the event horizon, there’s no force in the galaxy that can pull you out of the blackhole. First, he was terrified of the sounds and sensations, now, he’s terrified that he’s going to die. He can’t breathe.
It’s over.
Please, some o-
“Aventurine.” Something grabbed him by the shoulder firmly, not letting go of him. Aventurine flinched so hard, his back hit the nightstand beside him.
“P-please don’t!” Aventurine was waiting for anything, for a harsh comment or cruel hands grabbing him, choking him, slapping him, kicking him, but strangely, the sound of silence scared him even more. “I-I’ll be good, I promise, I’ll b-behave! Please, d-don't hurt me!”
He could hear a faint sound, he didn’t know if it was shuffling, someone sighing, speaking, pulling out a whip, loading a gun-
“It’s okay.” Hands went around his shoulders and he was pulled to someone’s embrace.
What?
This is not what’s supposed to happen.
Aventurine didn’t dare to breathe, let alone move. He knew this was the best strategy to avoid punishment and discipline with the most probability.
“Aventurine.”
Aventurine? Who is that? Isn’t his name...What is his name?
“It’s okay, you are safe with me. You are not on Sigonia anymore.”
He’s not?
Aventurine tilted his head and he saw all dark, like...was it dark hair? He squinted his eyes and his gaze found the comforting coffee brown one. Ver...Veritas? Was this him?
His eyes held so much warmth, the blonde was reminded of fireplaces and warm drinks in the cold weather.
Ratio’s heart clenched as he gazed down into Aventurine’s hazy eyes. He was in a trans. He was completely obeying to Ratio, not daring to move an inch. It filled Ratio with rage and something incredibly bitter.
“Are you with me? Breathe with me, can you do that bunny?” Ratio wasn’t fond of nicknames, between the two it was always Aventurine who called him ‘darling’ or ‘dear’, never the other way around. On some rare occasions, after a particularly intense session, when Ratio tended to Aventurine’s bruises he’d call him sweet names only.
Ratio suspected aside from his family, nobody called him petnames with good intentions, so he hoped it’d help for him to understand he didn’t mean any harm.
Ratio hugged Aventurine’s petite frame in his hands, afraid if he’s too rough he’d break him. Ratio cupped Aventurine’s tear strained face and caressed the skin under his eyes with his thumb. Aventurine was so pretty up close. He had tiny freckles on his nose and cheeks that one could only see if they specifically look for them. Ratio liked to count his freckles in his sleep and drawing constellations with them.
“Can you hear me?”
“Veritas?” It was rare seeing Aventurine this vulnerable and Ratio was sure he’d go back to his cocky and flirty facade in the morning. Aventurine was ‘the always need to be in control of things’ kind of person. Ratio knew he hated feeling vulnerable in situations like this.
Aventurine looked up at him with those eyes, like the painted glass on a rainy day in the church. Ratio felt his heart breaking a little with every second.
“Are you feeling any better?” Aventurine nodded and settled into his embrace more. “Nightmare?” He could feel the other mumbling a quiet yes into his shoulder. A sudden sharp sound of thunder made Aventurine flinch. Ratio held him tighter and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.
They did a few breathing excersizes, and when Aventurine calmed down a little, Ratio picked him up along with his favourite green shawl and went into the kitchen. He sat Aventurine down onto the counter and began making chamomile tea. It was good for the nervous system.
Aventurine swinged his legs a little and draped the shawl over himself. “Uh, hey doctor. Could we...not talk about this?” Ratio gave him a side eye as he was making the tea.
“Okay.” Ratio wasn’t happy with this, and Aventurine knew that, but Ratio also knew that Aventurine will talk about this sometime. He didn’t want to pressure the other, not when not even half a system hour ago he was having a panic attack.
Ratio placed the mug between Aventurine’s hands. “Thank you.” Ratio just hummed in acknowledgement. Ratio slowly sipped his tea and fidgeted with the end of the shawl nervously. Ratio clicked his tongue.
“Are you going to ask or...?”
“Are you still...mad at me?” Aventurine was looking down at his lap, scared to meet Ratio’s gaze.
“Pardon?” ratio was taken aback. Why would he be mad? “Why would I be mad?”
“Well...I woke you up and caused you plenty of trouble.” Ratio could barely hear the end of the sentence. Instead of saying anything, he stepped in front of the blonde and pulled him into his embrace, careful not to spill the tea. Aventurine was startled, but hugged back nonetheless.
“Stupid gambler.” Ratio murmured into the blonde mess of hair with his husky, morning voice, full of love.