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Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside
~
“Colin?”
“Hmm?”
“Could you send me flowers?”
He coughed, causing crumbs from the shortbread he was eating to suck down his throat, furthering his discomfort and sending him into a fit. Penelope came around the back of him and smacked between his shoulders.
“I–sorr–cough–ugh, good God–I mean–sorry, I should not curse–cough–”
“Are you choking?” she asked, slightly panicked.
“No, I just breathed in when I should not have,” he assured her, clearing his throat once before he continued. “Flowers?”
“I was only thinking that I have not received any flowers at all, and then I remembered in my first season how Daphne started to gain more attention when people saw the Duke paying her affections. If you sent me flowers, perhaps more men would follow?” she suggested.
“I–well, that would mean people would believe me to be courting you,” he hesitated.
Pen sighed. “I should not have asked. I know you would never wish to be thought of as courting me. I will just have to wait, I suppose.”
“What are your favorites?” he blurted out.
“Pink roses. Or lilacs. Or daisies. Or anything, really. I do not have reason to be picky about it.”
“I–I would hate to give any lady flowers she hates,” he smiled tightly. “I will have them delivered tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Colin. For everything, really. The lessons and now the flowers are a great favor to me. I know it will be strange to pretend that you are courting me, after what you said last season,” she said, smiling brightly at him and taking another sip of her tea.
“Yes,” he said absentmindedly. “So very, very strange.”
~
The next morning, Pen descended the stairs to a dozen bouquets filling up the drawing room, her mother fluttering about and looking at each one, though they all contained the same variety of flowers: sweet pink roses, beautiful purple lilac, and perfect white daisies.
“Mr. Bridgerton sent these over! They are lovely, are they not? There were six delivery boys to carry them in,” her mother exclaimed, fluffing one of the vases.
“Quite lovely,” Pen said, examining them closely and leaning in to smell a rose. It was perfectly floral, the petals just beginning to open up. “Perhaps now we might see more from other suitors.”
She could not help but wonder if they would know her preference for roses, lilacs, and daisies.
~
Over the next several weeks, she would receive bouquets of flowers from other gentlemen, most notably Lord Debling. He sent over dozens of poppies, hydrangeas, and yellow chrysanthemums, probably not realizing that he gave her flowers that meant consolation, frigidity, and slighted love. Men were not always well versed in such things, and likely he chose them for the colors.
Colin, though she told him he did not need to any longer now that Debling was interested in courting her, continued to send flowers at least three times a week.
His were still her favorite.
~
“Dance with me?”
Penelope looked up from her drink. “Really?”
“If you wish people to believe me to be courting you, it would be better if we acted the part at society events,” he reasoned.
“But the next is a waltz–”
“All the more reason to show how seriously we are…'courting’,” he said.
She took his offered hand, and he led her to the floor.
No one seemed to notice how wonderfully Penelope danced. Everyone knew of Colin’s affinity for it, and he would dance with almost any lady who looked like she wished to but did not have a partner, but Penelope never danced with anyone but Colin.
But he knew that she was quite accomplished when she allowed him to add a few little flourishes to the steps and she did not look confused or overwhelmed.
He hated that the music ended so quickly, and he had to let her go.
“I think I require some refreshment,” she stated.
“Allow me to fetch you some lemonade,” he offered, already making his way towards the table full of tiny glass cups.
Unfortunately, when he returned, Lord Debling had swooped in. He was new to London this season, and hardly spoke with any women up until now, though the word around White’s was that he came to town looking for a wife to take with him back to his country estate.
“Thank you, Colin,” Penelope said as he handed her the glass. “Lord Debling was just telling me that I looked very comfortable on the dancefloor, and I explained it was because I was so comfortable with my partner.”
“Pen and I have danced many times before,” Colin confirmed.
“Perhaps we might see if it is only Mr. Bridgerton you feel so at ease with. Would you like to dance, Miss Penelope?” Lord Debling offered her his hand.
“Of course,” she replied, handing off her cup to Colin before she allowed him to lead her to the floor.
She smiled as the music began and they started a quadrille. Colin stood at the edge, clutching his glass, his knuckles turning white and his mouth in a hard line. He glared at them as Debling placed his hand on her waist, smiling brightly at her.
He put the cup down on a passing tray before he shattered it.
~
“Walk with me?”
Penelope looked up from her novel to see there was an open palm in front of her face, and it was attached to Colin. “Is it not enough to dance with me? Lord Debling is already expressing interest in courting.”
“Perhaps a bit of competition will spur him on,” Colin suggested.
“I suppose so.” She took his offered arm, and they began their walk, leaving her family’s tent behind. Her mother hardly noticed.
“How was your morning?” he asked.
“Quite well. I am still enjoying the flowers,” she thanked him. “My room smells lovely each day now.”
“I am glad. I would not–I would not want anyone to become too–complacent,” he said strangely.
“Why don’t we walk over there, past that group of men?” she suggested.
“None of them would be suitable for you,” Colin shot down the idea immediately.
“Why not?” Pen scoffed. “They are all men. I do not have the good fortune of being choosy.”
“That one has a gambling problem,” Colin pointed to one of them. He continued, “That one has several mistresses. That one is only in town to find a wife and will retire to the countryside, which I know you would hate, not to mention he is nearly twenty years older than you. That gentleman plays polo so obsessively he is seldom at home.” Colin paused in his descriptions and pursed his lips before he gestured to Penelope’s only other suitor. “And he–well, that is…Lord Debling,” he said disdainfully.
“Do you not like Lord Debling?” Pen inquired. “Is something wrong with him?”
“He is a vegetarian, to start.”
“I knew that. Though odd, that is hardly a strike against him,” she pointed out.
“I cannot explain it, Pen. Something about him is just…not right.”
“He is kind. He has no mistresses. He spends an adequate amount of time in town. He has money. He does not like most sports. I do not see what the issue is.”
Colin could not refute her point before the man in question spotted Penelope, waved, and came over to them.
“Miss Penelope,” he greeted her. “I see you are with Mr. Bridgerton. I hope it would not be rude of me to ask, but would you like to promenade with me when the two of you finish your conversation?”
“I would love to, Lord Debling,” she smiled brightly. “Just allow me to take my leave of Co–Mr. Bridgerton.”
Debling nodded and stepped away.
“See, Colin–”
“See, Pen–”
They started to speak at the same time, but Colin was a bit louder.
“He is too…nice,” he struggled to voice his concern. “Something has to be wrong with him.”
Pen rolled her eyes. “I appreciate you thinking of my well-being, but my gut says you are wrong in this matter. I will speak with you later, Colin.”
As she walked away and took the other man’s arm, Colin’s heart twisted.
~
“Would you like to go to Gunther’s with me?”
Once again, Colin appeared from nowhere as she was having tea with Eloise in the Bridgerton family drawing room.
“With you? Why would she do that?” Eloise scoffed. “I know all about this fake courting business between the two of you. Surely, going to Gunther’s is a bit far. Pen already has Lord Debling as a suitor now.”
Colin seemed rather taken aback, and sputtered, “A suit–he is–you are–you are courting him?”
“Not exactly officially, but he is the only man to continue to show interest in me, even though you have done so well with feigning it so far,” Pen explained.
“He should not feel so comfortable in his suit, Pen. Come to Gunther’s. We can have whatever you like,” he offered.
Pen thought for a moment before she gave her acceptance. “I would love to, Colin.”
Penelope’s maid came with them in the carriage, climbing in after her and taking the bench to her right so Colin was forced to sit across from them. Thankfully, the ride was short, and they could leave her outside while they ate their ice cream.
Gunther’s was bustling with courting couples this time of year, but they managed to find a table, and their desserts were promptly delivered.
“This feels rather naughty, having ice cream in the middle of the day,” Pen remarked as she dug her spoon into her scoop of vanilla.
“Have you not been here with Lord Debling?” Colin said, failing to keep the disdain from his voice as he shoveled some of his own chocolate ice cream into his mouth.
“No, I have not. Not yet, anyway. This is delicious,” she moaned, licking her spoon clean before digging in for more. “I shall have to suggest it.”
“Is it proper for a lady to suggest a…courting activity?” Colin pondered.
“I suppose not, but I doubt Lord Debling will mind,” Pen replied, completely unaware of her companion gripping his utensil until his knuckles turned white.
“Does Lord Debling even have a first name?” he mumbled, pouting into his ice cream.
“He does. He told me so. His name is–oh!”
Colin looked up to see a great plop of white on Penelope’s bosom. He watched as she took her finger, scooped it up before it fell into the cleft of her breasts or onto her neckline, and sucked it into her mouth.
“Sorry,” she said, “that was quite unladylike, but I panicked. Mama would never allow me to hear the end of it if I ruined this dress.”
“It is…It is–a very pretty dress–ah-yes, the color suits you,” Colin fumbled, his heart racing and his skin hot as he ripped his eyes away from her chest and forced himself to look into her wide, blue gaze. “You look quite nice in green.”
“Thank you. Perhaps you could convince Mama. She believes me to be a spinster, you know,” Pen said absentmindedly, completely unaware of Colin struggling across from her. “Despite the flowers, she does not believe Debling to be seriously courting me.”
“You’ve mentioned it before,” he replied.
“Lord Debling said that green suits me too, you know,” she mentioned as she took another bite. Colin noticed they each only had about a quarter left of their desserts, and he was torn between wanting to scarf the rest down and slowly nibbling on it until it warmed up and turned to soup.
“Did he now?” Colin said. “I suppose it could be said he has good taste.”
“I do not know why he irks you so. He is a perfectly amiable man,” Pen said.
“It is because he…there is something…I cannot find the words to describe it, but there is something about the man that does not sit right with me. He is too normal.” It was a gut feeling of his that he could never quite explain.
“Colin, that is one of the strangest things I have ever heard you say. You have a kind word for everyone, and yet you believe Lord Debling to have some sort of hidden flaw?”
“I said he had good taste when it comes to the colors of your dresses, did I not?” he pointed out.
Pen rolled her eyes and ate the last bite of her ice cream. “Perhaps I should facilitate a meeting for the two of you. I cannot have the man who will likely become my husband and my good friend at odds with one another.”
Good friend.
“Yes. Maybe that would be a nice idea.”
Colin could only think of all the things he wanted to do to Lord Debling instead of talking, mostly involving his fists, but throwing his elbows into the man’s ribs was also a prominent fantasy, but he could not say so to Pen.
~
“Would you and your family like to dine at Bridgerton House tomorrow evening?”
They sat in Lady Danbury’s parlor, watching men make fools of themselves by reciting poetry and performing cheap magic tricks.
“Is that appropriate? It is not as though you are truly courting me–”
“Miss Penelope.”
Lord Debling interrupted them. He was not smiling.
“Lord Debling,” Penelope nodded her head in greeting. “I will finish talking with Colin, and then I shall–”
“You and Mr. Bridgerton are quite familiar with one another,” he said sharply.
Pen recoiled, and Colin tensed next to her. “We have known one another for years. We are friends,” she explained.
“Up until now, I have allowed you to continue this…friendship. Because I am courting you, however, I feel it is acceptable for me to request that you end…whatever this is with him. It is inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate?” Pen exclaimed. “How dare you–”
“If we are to marry, you cannot be seen conversing alone with a man. I will not have my honor besmirched,” Lord Debling continued.
“Penelope does not have to do anything she does not want to do,” Colin said darkly.
“I believe if her husband tells her to do something, she is legally obligated to do so,” Debling retorted.
Suddenly, Colin stood. Penelope followed, if only so she could move out of the way, but Debling grabbed her upper arm, hard.
“Do not touch me!” she said, trying to wrench it away.
“Why do we not discuss this somewhere more privately, Miss Penelope,” Debling insisted, trying to drag her away.
Before he could, however, Colin’s fist connected with his face, and he was sprawled out on the floor.
Several ladies in the room gasped, but Lady Danbury was already laughing. “I believe I might have done the same if Mr. Bridgerton had not beaten me to the punch. I suppose that is both figuratively and literally,” she smirked. “Please leave my home, Lord Debling, before I have to have you escorted out.”
Debling coughed and tried to catch his breath. He still lay on the floor, his upper cheek sporting a bright red mark that would surely cause a black eye, and his nose dripping a trail of blood onto his upper lip. He tried to swipe it away, but he winced the moment his hand touched the skin. When he saw the streak of dark red on his palm, he furiously tried to defend himself to Lady Danbury and the rest of the partygoers. “But he–he just—you saw him—” he babbled.
“You, sir, just attempted to control Miss Penelope after she expressed her discontent. I have no tolerance for men who believe the woman in their lives are theirs to do with as they please,” she explained. “I suggest you make a swift departure before you create an even greater scene.”
The man climbed up to his feet, wobbling and swaying, but he shuffled out of the room in shame.
“Let us return to our entertainment for the evening, yes?” Lady Danbury said, successfully turning everyone’s attention back to the soiree.
“Are you hurt?” Pen fussed over him, looking at Colin’s hand and touching each of his four fingers and his thumb, determining if he was injured. Though his knuckles were red, he did not wince at all when she pressed down on his skin.
“Believing that women are inferior causes one’s bones to become soft. Mine are as hard as diamonds, I’ll have you know,” Colin smiled softly, trying to calm her. He looked down at her arm and spotted the handprint that would bruise by the end of the evening just under where her sleeve ended. “I believe it is more important for me to ask if you are hurt?”
“I am quite fine, thank you, Colin,” Penelope said quietly, rubbing at the sore spot and sitting back down on the settee. “I did not–could not ever think he would do something so–”
“Would you come to dinner at my family home if I said that I did not wish to pretend any longer?”
Penelope could have fallen to the floor if she was not already seated. “What?” she whispered quietly, not wanting anyone to hear them.
Colin took a deep breath, before beginning, “With each day, each act of ‘faking’ our courtship, I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love, Penelope. When Lord Debling became a serious suitor, I felt myself turn uncharacteristically green with jealousy. I wanted to punch him just for offering his arm to you when you two took a turn about the park. I wanted to scream when you spoke of him too fondly at Gunther’s. I wanted to die when I realized that I could…I could lose you to him.” He grew quieter, more serious. He sat down next to her, and took one of her hands into his lap. “So I had to invite you to dinner because it was the only way I could think of telling you how serious I am about proposing. I had to include both of our families as witnesses, and surely you know that to endure a dinner with your mother and sisters is a feat of love if there ever was one.”
“Propose?” she gasped. “You mean–”
“This is not precisely the setting I wanted to ask you in,” Colin chuckled, “but yes. Would you–”
“No!” she interrupted him. “You cannot ask me here. I can hardly kiss you in response. You can walk me outside and ask me there.”
Colin grinned. “I love you, Pen.”
“I love you too, Colin. So very much. You always saw me even when no one else did, and you never wanted me to change myself for you.”
“You’ve been my greatest support. You listened to my letters and told me they were worth reading when my own family did not believe so. You encourage me to choose what I want, rather than what my family or society wants. I cannot imagine anyone else by my side for the rest of my days.”
“We need to go outside now,” Pen said, sniffling. “I cannot be seen crying in Lady Danbury’s drawing room. Someone will think you’ve broken my heart.”
“I believe Lady Whistledown knows the truth of the matter,” he said, standing up and offering her his elbow. “Since I now have her on my arm.”
She was mid-step and froze in place. “You know?”
“I thought it was Eloise until a few weeks ago, when I noticed how Lady Whistledown wrote about your courtship with Lord Debling. She called him a ‘perfectly amiable man,’ the same words you used to describe him to me,” Colin explained. “It was not hard to put together once I realized. Eloise always hated society, and you never shared in that particular sentiment.”
“Colin, I’m so–”
“I do not care, Pen,” he stated, beaming. “I have come to terms with it, and truly I am a little jealous of your accomplishments. Not many women have the gumption to start their own gossip column, but you did, and you are quite good at it.”
“You think so?” she inquired softly.
“I do, and so does the rest of the Ton. I would never stop you from it. What sort of man would tell his wife that she needs to stop doing the thing she loves? Though perhaps I would suggest steering clear of mentioning the Queen in any way but positively. She might have a mind to come after you,” he warned.
“She tried to do so last season when she thought it was Eloise,” Pen revealed, wincing a little when his head whipped to face her.
“What?”
“Did you not have a question for me? We are now outside,” Pen hurriedly changed the subject.
Colin sighed, smiling and shaking his head. “I guess we have plenty of time to discuss that later.”
“We have all the time in the world, as soon as you pose your question,” she replied cheekily.
“Penelope, would you do me the greatest honor and agree to marry me?”
“Yes,” she smiled, reaching a hand to his neck and pulling him down. Colin wrapped his arms around her, lifting her to her toes as he pressed their bodies together. They clung to one another in front of Lady Danbury’s house, blessedly alone for several moments.
It was only the beginning.