Archive of Our Own ^beta

i. Cuddling in bed. Kaveh is the big spoon.

P.S. Alhaitham wouldn’t let go.

For Alhaitham, lists are just as important as the hard cover that protects the delicate pages of a book. He carries many of them, often scattered about across his desk. He uses a plain piece of paper to note down things as small as food that needs to be purchased at the nearby market, to concerns as large as tasks to complete for work before he gets scolded by the upper staff. Not that they ever really dare to scold him.

Some lists are a bit more… personal. Those are found in the deepest corners of his drawers. There’s one about the dreams that he’s had about his grandma that he wants to continue to remember for as long as he can and there’s one for the gift ideas he has for whenever a friend’s birthday nears. He’s never been great at gift-giving.

And… the one about Kaveh.

Though truthfully, when is it not about Kaveh? Alhaitham’s mind is plagued with the blonde man–flashes of his beautiful smile even begin to appear whenever he rests his eyes at work. He can’t even go shopping without thinking of getting him a present, even when there’s no particular occasion. See when it comes to Kaveh, Alhaitham suddenly becomes a great gift-giver. 

That list is different, Alhaitham likes to believe. Though he prides himself in his great memory and ability to retain information from books full of intricate content easily, he still chooses to write a list about Kaveh. He chooses to write down everything that he loves about him. Just in case he somehow forgets, Alhaitham will at least have a list, penned by his own hand, penned by a man who is absolutely in love with his boyfriend, to remind him of all the things he finds beautiful in Kaveh.

Will he ever reveal the list to Kaveh himself? No, Alhaitham would never. That’s much too mortifying.

Alhaitham stares sleepily at the drawer where it lies inside, hidden from any prying eyes. He recalls the most recent bullet point he wrote after the one about “the way his nose scrunches slightly when he’s especially happy.”

51. The feeling of his lips pressed to my forehead.

Alhaitham’s heart thumps at the recollection of the feeling. But, he quickly takes a deep breath in a desperate attempt to calm down his heartbeat. After all, there’s an arm wrapped around his waist and a hand dangerously close to where his heart lies.

He blinks up at the window, the sunlight pouring in and gracefully warming the side of his face. Though, nothing will compare to the heat of Kaveh pressed up against his back, sleeping with his face buried into his shoulder and his limbs tangled with Alhaitham’s.

Alhaitham bites back a smile and resists the urge to snuggle backward and even closer into his embrace. This is their first time cuddling in bed after all. It’s new but something he wants to cherish until the world eventually comes to an end.

Alhaitham’s also known for never exaggerating. He hates making situations more than they should be. He’s always been a matter-of-fact person, sticking as close to the facts as possible.

So that is why he will say that he’s just had the best night’s sleep of his life due to Kaveh’s arms wrapped around his larger body. And as odd as it may sound, there are no exaggerations involved. It’s purely a fact.

But he refuses to voice that out loud yet again. Telling Kaveh that he liked his forehead kisses was enough for him.

He feels the man behind him begin to stir. Alhaitham freezes.

He’s waking up. That means he’ll let go.

Promptly, the man shut his eyes and slows his breathing to pretend to sleep, much like he’s been doing the past few weeks just so that he could feel Kaveh’s lips on his forehead. At least now, he has the privilege of receiving those kisses when he’s awake after finally growing the courage to confront him.

He feels the body shift behind him. But then, it grows oddly quiet. Alhaitham furrows his eyebrows. If Kaveh’s awake, why isn’t he making any noise?

Curiously, he peeks his eyes open and then he jumps. Kaveh’s now leaning over him, staring at him with sleepy eyes accompanied by a knowing smile.

“You can’t keep pretending to be asleep,” Kaveh whispers. “You’ve fooled me plenty of times before for those forehead kisses.”

Alhaitham’s much too drowsy to come up with a proper response. His cheeks quickly heat up. “I…”

But then Kaveh smiles, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek. “Why? What did you wish to achieve this time?”

Alhaitham swallows. He has the urge to lie out of sheer embarrassment. But instead, he pushes that desire down and rolls over so that he’s now face-to-face with Kaveh’s pretty face. His crimson eyes are bright despite being heavy from just waking up. And still, on his pretty lips, there’s a small smile.

“I didn’t want you to let go.”

A look of shock flits over the blonde man’s face. Alhaitham hesitantly but gently tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, revealing its red tint.

“I—“ Kaveh sighs, hopelessly endeared. “Why don’t you just tell me these things? You know I wouldn’t tease you.”

Alhaitham eyes him, unimpressed.

Kaveh laughs and Alhaitham can’t find it in him to glare further. Not when his smile and laugh light up the whole room, brighter than the sunlight itself. “Okay,” Kaveh breathes. “Maybe I will tease you a little bit. But! If you really wanted something, you know I would do it, right? No hesitations.”

Alhaitham feels his chest warm and he nods.

“Good.” Kaveh scrunches his nose. Alhaitham’s mind quickly flashes back to his list. He’s especially happy. Because of him. His heart begins to pound erratically again.

“So tell me,” Kaveh whispers, shuffling closer. “What do you want?”

Alhaitham’s eyes travel down to where Kaveh’s hand ghosts just over his stomach. It seems that he can’t wait either.

“I want you to continue holding me.”

Kaveh’s lips grow into a wider smile. “Of course, handsome.” He wiggles in and finally, his palm comes in contact with his stomach. Alhaitham shivers as it slides over it, then snakes over his waist, and plants itself on the small of his back, his fingers gently caressing the muscles. He pulls him in, allowing Alhaitham to rest his head on his chest. He immediately relaxes. It was only a few minutes that they paused cuddling but now, he never wants to let go.

“Like this?” Kaveh mumbles, a fondness in his voice.

“I guess.” But despite his words, Alhaitham snuggles into his chest, cheek smushed and all.

Kaveh scowls. “Hey, admit that you love it.”

“I love you.”

“Ah—“ Kaveh chokes. “I wasn’t asking for that response but… I’ll take it.”

Alhaitham hums. He feels an overwhelming feeling of joy in his heart–one that leads him to suddenly bring an arm around Kaveh’s waist this time, pulling him impossibly closer. Kaveh lets out a small “hm?” but quickly complies, letting the man wrap around him tightly. It’s a little too tight that Kaveh frowns.

“Is everything alright?”

Alhaitham blinks and he loosens his grip. “Yeah, did I do something wrong?”

“No!” Kaveh blurts. “I just– you’re holding me very tight.”

Alhaitham looks up at him like a sad cat stuck in a rainstorm. “I wanted you closer.”

Kaveh bites his lip, contemplating if he should tell him that his limbs have started to feel numb. Ultimately, he sighs and gives him a peck on the lips. “Okay, go ahead.”

Alhaitham hesitates at first, but he quickly finds his way back to his spot, head on Kaveh’s chest and arms tightly around his body. He even lets out a small huff as if to tell Kaveh to never leave his embrace.

Kaveh squeezes his eyes shut. Alhaitham’s never done this before. They’ve never cuddled in bed before. They’ve only recently started dating after all. But to see this man, so popular for being cold and blunt, easily melt for his touch… it’s different but Kaveh would never complain.

“You really do seem to enjoy this,” Kaveh murmurs, carefully bringing a hand up to stroke through the back of Alhaitham’s hair.

“I do.”

“How much exactly?” Kaveh’s eyes glint.

“A lot,” Alhaitham mumbles.

“Like you can’t live without it?”

What embarrasses Alhaitham even more is that he can’t even find it in himself to fully disagree. He’s so used to letting go of things and throwing them out whenever they lose their original quality. But that’s more of a description of a worn-out book. As for sharing a bed with Kaveh and being able to hold him (and be held back), Alhaitham can never see the quality depreciating. He… truly can’t live without it.

“Don’t push it,” Alhaitham forces out when really, he so badly wants to say yes.

“Oh, but I doubt you,” Kaveh sings, twirling a piece of hair with his finger.

Alhaitham pauses and stiffens slightly. “Why?” His voice is even more strained. Did he accidentally say yes? No, that’s embarrassing. He–

“Seeing how you’re wrapped so tightly around me… it’s hard to believe.”

“You’re imagining things.” Alhaitham’s cheeks feel warm. Was it that obvious? That he likes it that much? He only intended to simply state that he likes it. But now, it seems that Kaveh’s onto him loving it. Oh, but he does love it.

He loosens his hold and tries to pull away out of sheer flusteredness but Kaveh’s quick to grab onto his arm and pull it back around his waist.

“No need to be embarrassed.” Kaveh gives him a teasing look. “I like cuddling with you too.”

“Please,” Alhaitham mutters as he easily falls back into Kaveh’s hold like a feather in the air. “Don’t speak of this to anyone.”

Kaveh sighs. “I won’t.” He pauses and breathes out a laugh. “Though, it’s not like the whole of Sumeru already knows we're dating or anything…”

Alhaitham freezes. It hits him at that moment and he jerks, quickly sitting up in bed.

“They know?” He whips his head down to where Kaveh’s staring up at him with pouty lips.

“Everyone knows,” Kaveh sighs. “You’re just awfully unaware. Why, does it bother you that much?” He frowns slightly.

Alhaitham’s eyes soften and he shakes his head. He slumps back into bed and nuzzles his nose into Kaveh’s neck, inhaling his scent.

“O-oh…” Kaveh stumbles over his words. “I guess not.”

“I didn’t really want everyone to find out. But I don’t mind. At least it’s clear that I’m yours.”

Kaveh feels his heart practically combust. He pulls back and slots his lips against Alhaitham’s almost immediately. Alhaitham lets out a surprised noise but is quick to return it, his hand coming up to gently cup his jaw.

They pull apart shortly after. Kaveh’s eyes are gleaming with excitement.

“Do you want to try the other things on the list?”

And although “the list” has no specifications or a particular name after it, Alhaitham knows exactly what he’s talking about. After Alhaitham confessed that he wanted to try more forms of physical affection with Kaveh, they even made a list of which ones in particular, with cuddling in bed being the first one. Though he’s still a stranger to physical intimacy, Alhaitham isn’t a fool to not realize that he yearns for it. And to be able to try it all with Kaveh is… thrilling. But, he doesn’t want to learn how to do it like a student would with a lesson. He wants to learn it like how a flower naturally grows. He wants to check each item off when the time is right.

“Five more minutes?” Alhaitham gives him a pleading look with a tilt of his head.

“Fine.” Kaveh rolls his eyes but complies either way. They were supposed to get up ten minutes later but were instead interrupted by Kaveh’s somehow magical ability to lull Alhaitham back to sleep with just a stroke of his hair. They didn’t get up until two hours later and they never touched upon the list again for the next few days.

ii. Cuddling in bed.

P.S. Alhaitham is the big spoon this time.

P.P.S. No, Kaveh.

P.P.P.S. Yes, Alhaitham.

It’s become a normal thing now–for them to sleep together. When they first started dating, they still slept in their separate rooms after Alhaitham quietly confessed that he wasn’t comfortable with physical intimacy just yet. Alhaitham still remembers the way his heartbeat sped up when Kaveh reassured him that it was completely fine.

After a long day, they fell into bed together, with, of course, Kaveh’s arms wrapped around him. He loves that feeling–being held safe and close to his chest.

The sun is yet to be out when Alhaitham awakes, blinking his eyes profusely to try to focus in the dark atmosphere. That confuses him even more. Why did he wake up at this hour?

Alhaitham’s a pretty deep sleeper too so it takes a lot to rouse him in the middle of the night. Suddenly, he shivers. It’s cold, he realizes. And furthermore, he realizes he’s cold because Kaveh’s no longer cuddling him. He hums deeply and sits up with a frown. Then, he looks over to where Kaveh’s sleeping and his heart siezes at the sight.

His hair, usually fluffy and gorgeous, was now damp with sweat, sticking to his forehead. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were tightly shut. Alhaitham’s gaze travel down to where he's biting down on his lower lip as if to contain the small whimpers that threatened to spill out of his mouth. So that’s why he woke up.

Alhaitham’s at a loss for what to do. He’s always read about the saying to never wake someone up from a nightmare. But, the sight of Kaveh twitching in his sleep and his hands clutched around the sheets, has him reaching for his shoulder without even fully realizing it.

As soon as his hand comes in contact with his shoulder, Kaveh lets out a weak yelp and his eyes shoot open, his breath fast-paced and out of control.

“Kaveh?” Alhaitham says, reaching over to turn on the lamp so that he can properly catch a glimpse of his lover’s face. Kaveh’s distraught as he sits up, his pupils blown out with panic and his chest heaving.

“You’re…” The blonde man reaches forward hastily, grabbing onto his hand as if to check for its warmth. “...here?”

Alhaitham frowns, his eyes softening with worry. “I’m here, Kaveh. I’m more worried about yo– hmph!” He feels the air get practically knocked out of his chest as Kaveh lurches forward. However, he doesn’t exactly pull Alhaitham into a hug like he expected. Instead, he buries his face into the crook of his neck and his hands find their way to Alhaitham’s shirt, his fingers grasping at the fabric tightly as if he would disappear at any moment.

Alhaitham inhales sharply as he feels his shoulder grow wet with what he knows are tears.

“I thought you– left–” Kaveh hiccups, his hands trembling with how tight he’s holding onto his shirt. “I saw you leave– I- I hurt everyone. I hurt you. I–”

Alhaitham’s heart clenches and he blindly finds Kaveh’s hands, gently prying them open. He leads them around his waist so that Kaveh can properly hold him. And even so, Kaveh’s grip is tight and pleading.

“I didn’t leave,” Alhaitham speaks gently. “And you didn’t hurt me, Kaveh. It was a bad dream.” His hand hesitantly finds itself on Kaveh’s lower back, rubbing slow circles. He can feel him tremble as quiet sounds fight through his throat.

“It wasn’t real?” His voice is frail and heart-breaking.

Alhaitham shakes his head even if the man can’t see him right now. “It wasn’t real and it never will be real.” He hates seeing Kaveh like this. He’s always been a confident person, never afraid to speak out against something he sees is wrong. So to see him quiver and speak words so unsurely… it’s…

“Don’t leave.” And it seems that Alhaitham’s efforts failed anyway with Kaveh’s hand coming back to the front of his shirt, grasping it tightly once again.

“I won’t,” Alhaitham whispers. He pulls away to look at Kaveh again, only to feel his heart clench further. He was looking back at him, his eyes wide like a puppy’s and filled with tears that continued to stream down his face. He looks afraid–terrified even. “I would never leave. I adore you too much to even attempt to do so.”

Kaveh’s shoulders relax only the slightest.

“Okay?” Alhaitham tilts his chin upwards with the pad of his thumb. “Do you love me?”

Kaveh widens his eyes and he nods his head, with a small whimper.

Alhaitham smiles reassuringly. His other hand comes up to Kaveh’s own pulling it away from his shirt once more. He eases their hands into a firm hold, his fingers intertwining tightly with his. Kaveh stares, flustered. “So as long as you love me, then I will never leave you.”

“Even if it’s forever?”

“I would stay for all of eternity.”

Kaveh lets out a watery laugh and he pouts, obviously embarrassed. “You’re so cheesy… you can’t just say those things when I look like a mess right now.”

Alhaitham tilts his head, genuinely confused. “You look beautiful.”

Kaveh’s head shoots up and even under the dim lighting, Alhaitham can see his pink-tinted cheeks. “You– ugh,” he groans. “I’m too tired for this.”

Alhaitham smiles fondly but he stops Kaveh from lying back down in bed with a gentle hand. Kaveh stares at him, perplexed.

“What?”

“You’re all wet.” He eyes the strands of hair that still stick to his forehead and the tears that have only begun to dry on his cheeks.

“Thanks for pointing it out,” Kaveh grumbles, flustered. “And I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me just before.”

Alhaitham shakes his head. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

Kaveh frowns. “But–”

“I would never leave you.”

“I– I wasn’t talking about that but…” Alhaitham stifles a laugh at how Kaveh sniffles and pouts, holding back tears once more. “Whatever. Please forget that happened.”

Alhaitham complies and doesn’t stay on the topic of the nightmare. Instead, he mumbles something else.

“Let me take care of you.”

Kaveh’s breath hitches. “What?”

He doesn’t say anything after, instead, cupping Kaveh’s cheeks in his hands as his thumbs gently swipe over his cheeks, wiping away any last tears. Kaveh stares at him, both wide-eyed yet sleepy at the same time. Alhaitham stays there for a little while longer than he needs to, mesmerized by Kaveh’s pretty features.

When Kaveh garbles out a mortified noise, Alhaitham quickly comes back to his senses and he hops off the bed. He smiles fondly to himself when he can hear Kaveh’s quiet sound of protest.

“I’m not leaving,” Alhaitham reassures quietly with a knowing raise of his eyebrow. It’s too dark to see clearly, but he can hear the shuffle of Kaveh’s stiff body relaxing at his words. Then, he navigates through his room until he reaches his dresser, pulling out a clean towel.

He climbs back onto the bed, carefully guiding Kaveh, who was staring down at his lap, back up to look at him. With light fingers, Alhaitham combs away the damp pieces of hair to reveal a kissable forehead. Though… not quite at the moment with how sweaty it is.

Kaveh mumbles incoherently as he begins to use the towel to pat away the sweat. His grandmother always used to do that for him, whether it was similarly from a nightmare or from catching a fever. Alhaitham smiles at the memory, reveling in the fact that he gets to take care of his lover the same way.

And although Kaveh looks like he wants to protest, it’s clear that he’s thoroughly enjoying this. With every pat and swipe across his forehead, his eyes start to blink slower and slower until they shut completely. It doesn’t take long for Alhaitham to finish, Kaveh’s face now fully dry and his hair back to its fluffy state. Alhaitham leans in to peck his lips.

“I’m done.”

Kaveh’s eyes flutter open. “Oh, I… thank you.” Alhaitham’s chest pangs because although he isn’t crying anymore, his voice is still timid and shaken with fear. He can hear it but he can also see it too, with the way Kaveh’s hand twitches to hold onto the fabric of Alhaitham’s shirt again.

That’s when he gets an idea.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” Alhaitham asks.

Kaveh lifts his head and he shrugs dejectedly. “I guess I could try. I can’t guarantee I’ll succeed.”

Alhaitham hums. “Okay, let’s try.” He leads Kaveh down to lie down, pulling the sheets over the both of them. Kaveh lies facing the ceiling and Alhaitham can practically hear the overwhelming thoughts emanating from his mind. He nudges him slightly.

Kaveh startles. “Yes? You should sleep, Haitham. I know you’re tired.”

“No, I’m asking you to turn around.”

Kaveh widens his eyes and stares for a while before ultimately doing so, hesitantly and confused. Now, Kaveh’s back faces Alhaitham as he shuffles closer to his body. Then, he slowly brings his arms around Kaveh’s waist this time, pulling him against his chest soundly. He tucks his legs under Kaveh’s, all while his body goes stiff and a surprised sound leaves his lips.

“What are you…”

“I’m returning the favor,” Alhaitham whispers, matter-of-factly. But then, his voice quiets to a more soft, unsure one. “Is this okay?”

He gets his response in the way Kaveh snuggles further back into his warmth. “Yes,” he breathes. “It’s okay. It’s perfect, even.”

Alhaitham smiles and buries his nose into his nape. “Then sleep, Kaveh. I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll be here for you each and every day. I’m not leaving.”

Kaveh weakly laughs. “Okay, that’s quite enough.” He cuts himself off with a yawn. His hand finds Alhaitham’s, stroking it with his own. “Who knew you’d be such a good big spoon…” And just like that, Kaveh’s asleep, his body soft and warm under Alhaitham’s hand. He now begins to understand the appeal of holding one’s lover. The feeling of keeping him safe and protected is truly rewarding.

“Thank you,” Kaveh whispers when they awake in the morning. “I’ve already said it but thank you for taking care of me.”

Alhaitham shuts his eyes blissfully. “You’re welcome,” he answers before pulling Kaveh into his arms again. A small smirk grows on his lips. “Say it a third time?”

There’s a weak slap on the arm that’s wrapped tightly around his waist.

“No.”

iii. Back hugs by yours truly, Kaveh.

As they were creating the list, Alhaitham just had to inquire what benefits that back hugs offered. Kaveh tried desperately to explain but it only fell on deaf ears.

“Whatever!” He groaned. “You just have to experience it first-hand.”

“Okay.”

Kaveh freezes, dropping the pen in his hand. “Wh– I thought you were going to cross this one off…”

Alhaitham shakes his head. “Whatever you want to try, I’ll try.”

Kaveh blushes profusely.

“And I’ll be looking forward to it,” he whispers, kissing Kaveh’s cheek before grabbing the pen and writing the next item on the list.

Kaveh’s yet to do the back hug, Alhaitham realizes. It only flits past his mind though, as he’s much too preoccupied with work. Work, work, work. He sighs tiredly, staring at all the papers that he needs to read through. He knows it’s not the best idea to do all this on his bed but he can’t bother to move.

He looks up at the sound of the door opening. Kaveh walks in and he frowns at the sight.

“What? You’re still working?”

Alhaitham nods. “I’ll join you to sleep a little later tonight.”

Kaveh stands there, contemplating. But instead of leaving to prepare to sleep himself, he walks over and sits on the bed, just behind Alhaitham. Alhaitham looks over his shoulder, slightly confused.

“You don’t have to wait for me,” he speaks softly.

“But I want to, Haitham.”

Alhaitham knows it's useless to try to convince Kaveh so he turns back to his work. He reads over the words just a bit faster now. He hates the idea of keeping Kaveh up for so long.

But then, his breath hitches.

Two arms snake around his waist as a familiar body hugs him from behind. He can feel Kaveh lean his cheek against the broad expanse of Alhaitham’s back. “Let me keep you company,” he mumbles.

Alhaitham slightly crumples the paper in his hand with how nervous he suddenly feels. So this is what a back hug feels like. It’s warm and comforting. He certainly likes the feeling of being the one who holds up the entirety of Kaveh’s weight. But he’s still particularly new to physical intimacy so he can’t help but freeze up anyway.

A hand travels from his lower stomach up to his heart.

“It’s beating so fast,” Kaveh giggles.

Alhaitham sighs, his cheeks prickling with warmth. “I’m new to this.”

“I know,” he whispers. “And that’s okay.” It’s quiet for a moment. “Your back is really comfortable,” he decides to add.

Alhaitham’s heart thumps but he wills the fast pace to go down. He has work to focus on. It certainly shouldn’t distract him that there’s a beautiful man that he can kiss instead, latched onto him from behind. Certainly.

But then, Kaveh starts another conversation.

“What are you working on?”

Alhaitham has to stare at his paper for a little while longer, his brain fuddled with… other thoughts–much more affectionate ones. He reads over the title. And then he reads it over again because the first time, he was more focused on the way Kaveh nuzzles into his back muscles like a cat.

“Just finishing up reading over a new research project.”

“Doesn’t seem like finishing up. It’s more like they dumped their workload on you.” Kaveh presses a kiss to the back of his neck, making Alhaitham shudder and shut his eyes, crumpling the paper further. He’ll have to explain to the other staff later why some papers have suddenly gotten so messed up.

“My coworkers have fallen ill. I’m simply making up some of their work.”

Kaveh hums. “A handsome man with a big heart,” he teases. His hands wander upwards again, but contrary to Alhaitham’s expectation, instead of simply placing a palm where his heart lies, he quite literally feels up his entire chest.

Alhaitham’s breath is caught in his throat.

“That’s not where my… heart is.”

And he just knows Kaveh’s grinning when he replies knowingly, “Oh, I know. I just want to feel you.”

Alhaitham’s jaw clenches and he squeezes his eyes shut again.

Dear Lesser Lord Kusanali, spare me.

And as if it couldn’t stop there, Kaveh’s hands begin to feel up Alhaitham’s whole torso. His touch is curious and warm with his fingertips running over every muscle and even promptly slipping under his shirt. He inhales sharply at the cool feeling.

“I finally give you permission to fully touch me and this is one of the first things you do?” Alhaitham mutters. With his apt reading skills, he should have gone through five papers by now. He’s only gotten through one.

“And you seem to be enjoying it, hm?”

Alhaitham can’t find a response to that. If this happened before he realized his longing feelings for Kaveh, he would immediately push him off with complaints. But now, knowing that he intends to be with him for the rest of his life, he lets himself indulge. He lets himself enjoy the feelings of Kaveh… inappropriately feeling up his chest and stomach. He allows Kaveh to nuzzle into his shoulder and he lets him kiss the side of his neck.

“I can’t focus,” he whispers.

Kaveh’s hands caress his waist in up-and-down motions. “Didn’t know I had that effect on you,” he muses.

“You always did.”

The hands stop out of sheer surprise. It resumes shortly after but this time, the movements are slower–a bit more relaxing like a massage. He can feel Kaveh shuffle closer to hide his face as if Alhaitham could see it in the first place. Though, he does blissfully imagine his flushed cheeks and his embarrassed frown.

“So, what do you think of back hugs now?” Kaveh mumbles after a few more minutes. Alhaitham is now on his second-to-last paper.

“I… like it.” Alhaitham smiles to himself. “Though I prefer seeing your face.”

Kaveh shifts behind him and suddenly, he sees his face popping up in his peripheral view, peeking over his shoulder. “Like this?” He grins. Alhaitham huffs fondly.

“I mean facing you. So I can kiss you.”

“Oh, alright,” Kaveh grumbles. “Finish your work first. I’ll be waiting.” He returns back to his previous position, his cheek pressed against his body.

Once Alhaitham reaches the last paragraph of his last paper, he comes to the realization that the hand movements across his body have stopped. His waist wasn’t being caressed anymore and there were no fingertips that explored each and every muscle on his upper body.

He finishes up the paragraph and puts the documents away. Then, he turns around, only to have Kaveh slump forward and into his chest. He’s fast asleep it seems, and has been for a while now. Small puffs of air leave his pretty lips and his eyelashes flutter over his cheeks.

“As expected,” Alhaitham sighs though his heart beats simply at the sight of him. He brings Kaveh close to his chest, losing himself in the feeling of holding his lover in his arms. After a few moments of just embracing him, he gently brings him down to lie back in bed. He climbs in shortly after and wraps an arm around Kaveh’s waist.

Finally, he can see his face. Alhaitham’s eyes sparkle softly. He leans over and presses a soft kiss to his lips just as he said he wanted to. It’s too bad Kaveh’s not awake to experience it.

iii. Back hugs, except Alhaitham does it.

Alhaitham wakes up to an empty bed. He frowns, his eyes still closed as he reaches out as if he can magically summon Kaveh back into his arms.

He’s usually pretty good at going back to sleep. Sometimes Kaveh would wake him up to ask a question which of course, he’d answer, but then he would let his head fall back on his pillow and go to sleep right away. But now, with Kaveh not in bed with him, Alhaitham’s eyes are wide open. His hands itch for the feeling of Kaveh’s waist and his chest feels tight knowing that he isn’t holding his lover and keeping him safe from any harm.

It’s not to say that their house is at all in danger. It’s just… Alhaitham simply likes to hold Kaveh, pulling him close to his chest and feeling his slow breathing.

He groans, shoving his sheets off and sitting up. He runs a hand through his hair with furrowed eyebrows and looks to the door. Past it, he can hear Kaveh bustling about in the kitchen.

They have a system of taking turns to make breakfast. Alhaitham, being the one who loves routine, was always the one who scolded Kaveh for missing a day. He scolded him so much that Kaveh never forgets a day now. He even once said that he looked forward to making breakfast because it meant he could improve his cooking skills. But now, Alhaitham curses himself. Couldn’t he have missed this one day? Couldn’t he have just stayed in bed with him?

Alhaitham shakes out of it. Am I… being clingy?

No, certainly not. It’s not like he’s wandering out of the room to find Kaveh like a lost cat or anything.

“Good morning!” Kaveh smiles with a bright smile when Alhaitham does, in fact, wander out to find Kaveh.

Alhaitham can’t seem to stop himself from shuffling over to him. He watches as Kaveh pours coffee into a mug, his eyes then wandering up to his focused face. There’s always that crease between his eyebrows that he wants to kiss away.

Something just takes over him at that moment. He suddenly straightens and approaches the man from behind, wrapping his arms tightly around his body, drawing him close—so close that he can feel the way his back stiffens ever so slightly against his chest.

“Al-Alhaitham?” Kaveh stutters, setting down the coffee pitcher.

He rests his chin on his shoulder and turns slightly. “Good morning,” he mumbles, breath fanning, across his ear, causing him to shiver.

Kaveh sounds like he’s about to say something but he ultimately relaxes against his chest. Alhaitham hums, satisfied as he nuzzles his nose into the warm side of his neck, inhaling deeply.

Kaveh’s ears are tinted red.

“What’s gotten into you? You’ve never—”

“So I can’t?” His voice shifts to a sulky tone.

Kaveh freezes and Alhaitham’s arms tighten further. “I… I didn’t say you couldn’t…”

“Good,” Alhaitham simply says. There’s a peaceful silence from then on. Well, at least for Alhaitham. He smiles to himself and shuts his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Kaveh’s waist in his arms and the somehow sweet smell of his skin.

Kaveh doesn’t seem to be faring too well on the other hand. His hands are fidgeting and Alhaitham can practically feel the warmth of his blush radiating from his ears and cheeks.

“Your coffee’s going to get cold,” Kaveh whispers but he makes no attempt to actually move.

“Then pour it.”

Kaveh grumbles. “I can’t when you’re stuck to me.”

Alhaitham’s quiet. And then he hesitantly pulls his arms away so Kaveh can move freely and pour the coffee into the mugs. But, as soon as he finishes, Alhaitham’s quick to reattach to him.

“Haitham…” Kaveh chides but his tone is nothing short of fond.

He wants nothing more than to climb back into his sheets, preferably with Kaveh in his arms or the other way around. “I’m tired. Come back to bed with me?”

Kaveh scoffs. “And ignore this perfect cup of coffee that I made for you? Don’t forget, I’m also preparing breakfast. Your favorite. I actually managed to get the fresh ingredients for onc—“

“You smell good…” Alhaitham takes yet another deep breath of Kaveh’s nape, his lips brushing against his skin.

Kaveh shudders and his voice wavers. “He’s not even listening,” he mumbles to himself. “As always.”

That’s always been one of the main sources of their arguments. Kaveh always thinks that he isn’t listening when in fact, Alhaitham’s just not that great at showing it. He also tends to be distracted by… Kaveh himself. Whenever he’s scolding him for messing up the position of a painting, Alhaitham’s more focused on the way his hair falls over his face prettily or how soft his hands look.

In this case, he’s much too distracted by the scent of Kaveh’s skin.

He clears his throat. “And thank you for the breakfast and coffee.”

Kaveh humphs. “You’re welcome. That was what you were supposed to say. Plus, I haven’t even taken a bath yet...”

“Don’t care.”

Alhaitham may be good at downing drinks without getting drunk. But with Kaveh, he can so easily become intoxicated.

Kaveh sighs and finally–finally–he leans back against his body. “I have a compromise for you,” he speaks with a lazy tone, dropping his head back against Alhaitham’s shoulder.

Alhaitham simply hums.

“How about we eat breakfast and drink my wonderful coffee and then we can go back to bed like you want?”

Alhaitham brightens at his words. If he had a tail, it would be wagging cheerfully.

“Really?” He doesn’t mean to sound so hopelessly excited but he just can’t seem to help it at the thought of being able to go back to sleep with Kaveh again.

“Yes,” Kaveh laughs. “So can you let go now?”

Alhaitham grumbles and slowly loosens his grip. A shiver befalls him, suddenly feeling cold without Kaveh pressed against his chest. He now understands the true appeal of back hugs. It’s so… warm.

And though he has already let go, his body still hovers near Kaveh’s, craving his touch once more. Kaveh seems to notice, even when facing the other way and so he turns around, leaning back against the counter so that he can fully face Alhaitham.

“Miss me already?” He teases.

“Don’t…” Alhaitham looks away though his hand still twitches to pull Kaveh in by the hip.

“I know,” Kaveh whispers, leaning up and swiping a few pieces of hair from his forehead so that he can press a tender kiss there. “Hurry and join me for breakfast and then we can go back to bed, ‘kay?”

Alhaitham’s eyes soften and his lips pull into an annoyed frown. When Kaveh only stares at him with an amused sparkle in his eyes, he ultimately melts and nods. “Fine.”

Kaveh scrunches his nose and lets his hands run through Alhaitham’s hair, rubbing the top of it fondly. “Good boy.”

Alhaitham chokes at his words and he abruptly turns around, coughing into his hand.

Kaveh will forever be the death of him.

iv. Kissing (Kaveh’s offer)

Alhaitham remembers staring oddly at the new item that Kaveh added to the list. Kissing? Haven’t they done that already? Though, he will admit that they haven’t done much more than a peck on the lips, sometimes for a few seconds longer–usually when Alhaitham’s been away for work for a few days. But that’s really it. They don’t go above and beyond like the characters do in a romance book found in the adult section.

He chooses not to question it. Maybe he’s just using this list as an excuse for another kiss.

There’s no need for an excuse. I’ll let him kiss me whenever he wants.

He currently lays across the divan, book in hand. Kaveh’s been out for several hours to celebrate the success of one of his recent projects with his client. It’s an understatement to say that Alhaitham simply misses him. No, he wants him here right now.

But he’s not the type to hover or stop him. All he hopes is that some random citizen doesn’t show up at his door telling him that there’s a blonde man staggering and tripping over himself, drunk. That means that he’ll have to carry Kaveh in his arms. Not much of a problem for him though.

Suddenly, the door bursts open. Alhaitham simply raises an eyebrow because who is he to act excited? As much as he wants to, that’s … out of character for him.

Kaveh stands at the doorway, huffing for breath. It’s almost like he ran all the way home, which there’s really no need since they don’t live too far from the tavern anyway. But what surprises Alhaitham the most is that he isn’t drunk. His cheeks aren’t flushed, he isn’t struggling to balance, and he isn’t rambling about some random topic.

Instead, he straightens up and walks over to Alhaitham who’s now sitting up in slight confusion.

“Kaveh?”

Kaveh plops down next to him with a barely contained smile. “Guess what?”

“What?” Alhaitham eyes him skeptically.

“Today is a special day.”

Alhaitham short circuits and panic strikes his chest. He starts flipping through his mental calendar. It’s his birthday? No. Kaveh’s? No. Their—

“—anniversary?” He chokes out. He swears that they’ve only started dating for two months. But time does seem to fly when he’s in love.

Kaveh stares at him amused and shakes his head.

“Then what?” Alhaitham sighs.

“National kissing day!” Kaveh grins, even making an adorable dance with his hands. “I found out from my client and—“

“What does that even mean?” Alhaitham interrupts him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Should be self-explanatory.” Kaveh rolls his eyes. “It means to kiss someone.”

“Someone?” Alhaitham doesn’t mean to jut his bottom lip out slightly at the thought of Kaveh kissing anyone else but him. “Me?”

“Obviously,” Kaveh laughs. “So of course, I avoided drinking so that I could kiss you.”

Alhaitham shuts his eyes, willing the heat in his cheeks to go away. “But you kiss me even when drunk,” he whispers.

Kaveh widens his eyes. “Oh. I do?” He laughs nervously. “I don’t remember.”

Alhaitham recalls the many times that Kaveh while clinging onto his arm, would suddenly cup his cheeks and plant a kiss on his lips.

“Many times,” Alhaitham remarks, deciding to further tease the man.

Kaveh blushes and it’s visible how he fights the urge to hide his face. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Don’t apologize.” Alhaitham gives him a small, shy smile. “So you said you wanted to kiss me?”

Kaveh nods silently, his eyes large with hope. “Can I?”

“Hm…” Alhaitham pretends to think as if his heart isn’t beating, yearning for Kaveh to press his lips on him. He tilts his head with a small smirk. “What’s in it for me?”

He expects Kaveh to groan and get frustrated but instead, Kaveh gives him a sly smile, his eyes twinkling with a hint of both excitement and mischievousness. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Alhaitham scoffs fondly. “You know I always enjoy it.”

“But I’ll make these kisses a bit different.” Kaveh’s smile falls. Though, not in a bad way. It’s in a way that he too, wants. His eyes fall from Alhaitham’s gaze and down to his lips.

Alhaitham swallows, suddenly feeling weak. They’ve kissed many times before. How is this one any different?

But then it hits him and his eyes widen. It’s not just one. Kaveh said–

“These kisses? How many–”

Kaveh quickly lunges forward, pressing a soft kiss against Alhaitham’s lips. The younger immediately melts into it, letting his eyes shut to indulge in the feeling. Alhaitham smiles. What was he thinking? This kiss is normal. Kaveh probably just made a mistake. There couldn’t possibly be more.

Alhaitham feels the soft pair of lips leave him and he chases after his touch, only to find Kaveh leaning back. But, just as Alhaitham opens his eyes to mortifyingly ask for another kiss, Kaveh beats him to it. He pounces on him, throwing his arms around Alhaitham’s neck and pressing kiss after kiss on his lips.

They’re short and sweet but they leave Alhaitham gasping for air either way. He can practically feel Kaveh’s beautiful smile as he pecks his lips over and over again. And then, he begins to stray away, pressing small kisses on his cheeks, his nose, and even his eyelids. Alhaitham lets out a surprised noise. Every time he thinks he’s done, he’s certainly not–moving to other parts of his face.

He kisses every area of his forehead, the place between his eyebrows, his temple, and– Alhaitham’s going to explode. He’s never experienced this before. They’ve never done this before. But Kaveh just keeps on going, giggling in between pecks and kisses.

Soon enough, Kaveh leans forward so much that Alhaitham falls back on the divan. But even so, Kaveh supports himself with his elbows and continues kissing Alhaitham all over his face. He’s sure that his whole face is flaming red.

“K–Kaveh–” Alhaitham stutters. “What are you– mmph!” Of course, Kaveh shushes him up with a long kiss on his lips.

The room is filled with smacking and giddy laughter from Kaveh and occasionally Alhaitham. It tickles but it also makes him feel so… special.

Then, Kaveh, in between kissing his cheeks for the third time, blindly finds Alhaitham’s hand. He pulls away and brings the hand up to his lips, tenderly kissing each of his fingers and knuckles. Alhaitham’s chest seizes.

Finally, Kaveh turns back and ends his kissing marathon back on Alhaitham’s lips, lingering there and even swiping his tongue against the bottom one.

When the blonde pulls away, he bursts out laughing. Alhaitham’s out of breath, huffing for air, and flustered as he brings his other hand up to his face to cover it. His face is warm, so warm. He can’t face Kaveh anymore. No, archons, he needs to hide. That was–

“Lovely,” Kaveh whispers, gently taking his hand away to observe his face. Alhaitham lets out a strangled noise while Kaveh only caresses his cheeks, endeared.

“I realized you used the plural version of ‘kiss’ but I…” Alhaitham tries to look away but Kaveh’s quick to catch his eye teasingly. “I didn’t expect that much.”

“Surprise,” Kaveh laughs. “How was that for National Kissing Day? I enjoyed it if you were wondering.”

Alhaitham’s arm comes around his waist, bringing Kaveh down to lie on top of him, head nestled against his chest. “I wasn’t wondering.”

Kaveh simply hums, unsurprised by his response. “But you enjoyed it too.”

“How do you know?” Alhaitham can still feel the lingering kisses left all over his face.

“Your heartbeat is fast. And I saw the way your eyes sparkled and I heard your little nois–”

“Kaveh, please.”

Kaveh stares up at him knowingly and Alhaitham has no choice but to give in to his pretty eyes. “Fine,” Alhaitham sighs. “I enjoyed it.”

“I’m glad you did.” Kaveh smiles adoringly before laying his head back onto Alhaitham’s chest. “I love you.”

The corners of Alhaitham’s lips quirk up as he lets his eyes flutter close. “Love you too.”

“By the way, do you have a Kamera? I need it in the morning.”

“In my room. Now go to sleep.”

“Of course, Haitham.”

Alhaitham sits up the next morning after finding that Kaveh is no longer sleeping on top of him. He’s about to get up to look for him when he comes face-to-face with a Kamera. The lens makes its signature clicking sound and it’s brought down to reveal a beaming Kaveh.

Alhaitham narrows his eyes.

“Why are you taking a picture? I look like a mess.”

“You look cute,” Kaveh replies. “Just wait.” He leaves to go to the bathroom and it doesn’t take long for the printed picture to show itself. Alhaitham leans forward to peer at it and he grimaces, bringing his hand up to rub at his cheeks. He pulls his hand away to find smudged lip tint on his palm and fingers.

There, staring right back at him is a picture of a sleepy, messy-haired Alhaitham with pink kiss marks all over his face, decorating his cheeks, lips, nose, and forehead.

Alhaitham groans, covering his face with his hands once again. He forgot that Kaveh used lip tint that day.

v. Kissing + Holding Hands (Alhaitham’s offer)

Kaveh hums exaggerately, forcing Alhaitham to look up from his book. Kaveh peers up at him with a curious look, a piece of paper in hand–the list.

“What is it?” Alhaitham raises an eyebrow.

“Well,” Kaveh breathes. “I was checking off the things we did already but there’s one that you added. Kissing and holding hands?”

Alhaitham frowns. “Something wrong?”

“No,” he laughs in disbelief. “I just…” He gives Alhaitham a pretty smile, one that has Alhaitham putting his book down in pure admiration. “Don’t we already do those two things? I thought the list was supposed to be for– you know, new stuff.”

Alhaitham grumbles, mind shifting back to the picture of him with kiss marks all over his face now hung up in Kaveh’s room. “Just like how you put down kissing last time?”

Kaveh sputters. “Well– that was different! And you liked it!” Oh, how Alhaitham enjoys teasing him, with the way his eyebrows furrow and his lips pout ever so adorably.

“Exactly.” Alhaitham tilts his head with a small, mischievous smile, one that makes Kaveh jerk in surprise. “My offer is different too.”

Kaveh straightens. His hair is void of its usual clips which in Alhaitham’s opinion, makes him look all the more pretty. The blonde strands frame his face perfectly. It doesn’t help that he’s wearing Alhaitham’s shirt. They aren’t too different in terms of height but it still seems like the fabric still manages to swallow up his figure.

“How so?”

Alhaitham clears his throat, his heart suddenly beginning to thump nervously. He didn’t take into account the fact that he would actually have to admit what he was thinking. He looks down and speaks quietly.

“I wanted to… kiss for longer.”

It’s silent for a moment and his chest seizes. Did he say something wrong? It was just a thought, a silly daydream. He should have come up with an escape route first.

But then, Kaveh laughs. “Oh. You want to–” He cuts himself off with a snort. “You want to make out? Is that what you mean?”

“I didn’t–” Alhaitham pauses. “Is that what it’s called?” He always thought that making out was its own entirely different thing.

“It’s a shame you don’t read romance novels,” Kaveh teases. When he notices Alhaitham furrowing his eyebrows, clearly embarrassed, he sighs, eyes softening hopelessly. “But I accept your offer. Then explain to me the other thing. Hand holding? Is that some sort of combination?”

“You’ll find out when the time comes.”

“Like right now?”

Alhaitham swallows. He tries not to let his gaze shamelessly fall on Kaveh’s lips–the very same pair that he thinks of much too often at work. “Now?”

Kaveh smiles slyly. Suddenly, it feels like the room temperature has risen a few degrees. He makes a show of crawling across the bed before standing up and walking agonizingly slow towards where Alhaitham’s sitting in his chair.

“Yes, now. I’m not doing anything particularly important.” Kaveh stands before him. He reaches forward and takes Alhaitham’s hand in his and holds their intertwined hands up. “Like this?”

Alhaitham shakes his head, looking up at Kaveh with an excited glint in his eyes. “I have something else planned.”

“Oh, really?” Kaveh purrs. “Then show me.”

Alhaitham huffs. Their hands are still connected so he takes that opportunity to pull Kaveh down. He stumbles forward and soon, his lover, as beautiful as he’s always been, is sitting in his lap, straddling his hips. Kaveh inhales sharply and stares at him with wide eyes.

“Haitham,” he whispers weakly.

“Hm?” Alhaitham looks up smugly.

“I…” Kaveh continues to gaze at him. Alhaitham waits silently for him to finish his sentence but instead, as if he was pulled in by a magnetic force, Kaveh suddenly leans in and slots his lips against Alhaitham’s.

The thrum in Alhaitham’s chest further picks up and soon, one hand comes up to cup Kaveh’s jaw, tilting his head ever so slightly. Kaveh groans when the other hand trails down to splay over his lower back, pulling him so close that their chests touch. The room quickly fills with satisfied hums and the sounds of their lips moving fervently against each other.

And at this point, they would have stopped. That’s what they always did anyway. But this time, Alhaitham can’t let go. He finds himself constantly chasing after the feeling. Whenever Kaveh pulls away to breathe, Alhaitham quickly brings his hand up to the back of his neck, pulling him back in. He’s drunk on Kaveh–drunk on the scent of his shampoo, drunk on the feeling of his bare skin when Alhaitham slips a hand under his shirt, and drunk on the way Kaveh whispers his name so heavily.

“Haitham…” Kaveh whispers in between kisses. Alhaitham doesn’t respond, too lost in the feeling of Kaveh’s lips, slightly sweet from the dessert they had just previously.

Alhaitham never specified how long he wanted to kiss. There’s no timer after all. It’s just them. Kissing to their heart's content with their eyes shut, wholeheartedly placing their trust in each other.

Alhaitham eventually pulls away. Though it’s not so he can take a breath. He simply just wants to see the state of his lover, sitting in his lap. And just as he thought, the sight of him is what does take his breath away. His lips are swollen and his cheeks flushed as he heaves for air. Alhaitham, dazed, brings a gentle hand up to the side of his face, cupping his jaw. Kaveh’s face reddens further.

“I’m sorry,” Kaveh stutters. “I know you brought up the idea first but I kissed you first and–”

“Why’re you apologizing?” Alhaitham’s lips curl up slightly, a lovesick expression overtaking his face. “We’re dating are we not?”

“Yes!” Kaveh blurts. “We are! I just– I didn’t want to catch you off guard or anything…”

Alhaitham tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, giving him a small, yet fond smile.

“Do it again.”

Kaveh chokes.

“What?”

“Do it again. Please.”

“You– are you serious?”

“Do you have any idea how much I–” Alhaitham cuts himself off, too distracted and already staring hungrily at Kaveh’s lips. “I don’t care if you catch me off guard. Please, I want you.”

“But, do you need me?” A small teasing look appears on Kaveh’s face. It’s so easy for Kaveh to switch from a shy, flustered mess, to a mischievous and flirty lover, but it’s not like Alhaitham has any complaints.

And normally, Alhaitham would retort out of sheer embarrassment. He would come up with some sort of excuse, trying to conceal the fact that he is utterly in love with Kaveh. But this time, he’s desperate. He’s been desperate ever since Kaveh settled into his lap.

“Like my life depends on it,” Alhaitham whispers, hand falling to Kaveh’s waist, giving it a slight squeeze.

Kaveh curses under his breath before falling back into him. This time, he’s more situated, snaking arms around his shoulders and opening his mouth further so that Alhaitham can slip his tongue in. But he needs him closer.

And so, Alhaitham’s hands trail down, under Kaveh’s thighs. He hoists him up as he gets off his chair in which Kaveh lets out a small, surprised sound as his legs come to wrap around his waist tightly. Kaveh is not a heavy person, so it’s easy for Alhaitham to carry him across the room while still becoming lost in his hooded eyes and soft lips against his.

“Alhai–” Kaveh’s weak voice is cut off by another rough kiss on his lips. “What are you doi–”

Alhaitham gently sets Kaveh down on their bed. He rests on his elbows, caging the man under his body. Kaveh squeaks but lets out a fond sigh when Alhaitham stares down at him with a soft smile.

He has to say something to fill this tension-heavy silence–something to stop him from losing to his burning desire to kiss Kaveh for the rest of the day. But, his mind blanks. It blanks and all he can get out is a quiet “hi.”

Kaveh giggles, making Alhaitham’s heart swell.

“Hi,” he whispers back, tone much like a young Akademiya scholar who’s just discovered what falling in love is.

“I–” Alhaitham blinks nervously. “I don’t know why I said that. I just…”

“It’s okay.” Kaveh stares up at him beautifully, his eyelashes fluttery and lips swollen. “Kiss me if you want to. I’m waiting.”

Alhaitham lets out a shuddery breath and finally–finally–he bends his head down to press his lips back onto Kaveh’s. Their tempo has slowed down now but the heat in their guts still burned bright like a candle. Alhaitham’s hands slowly come up to blindly find Kaveh’s. He intertwines their fingers as he presses Kaveh further against the bed, smiling into the kiss at the way Kaveh somehow manages to let out a muffled giggle.

Their hands are holding. But as Alhaitham mentioned before, it’s different. It isn’t the type where they hold hands so they don’t get lost in a busy market, or when they hold hands just because Kaveh feels cold. They hold hands in the way that Alhaitham can pin Kaveh down and express his love in a way that he’s always been so hesitant to do so. They hold hands in the way that Alhaitham can let go of his doubts and fall into Kaveh’s embrace.

He pulls away after, though their hands still stay intertwined. Kaveh breathes heavily, peering up at the man with wide eyes filled with a sense of yearning.

“So that was your plan?” Kaveh pants.

“What plan?” Alhaitham grins, leaning in to pepper kisses across Kaveh’s jaw.

“Your kissing and hand holding was actually a pin me down to the bed and makeout with me?” Kaveh asks, his voice faltering as Alhaitham trails down to his neck.

“Yeah,” Alhaitham breathes against his skin. “And what about it?”

“You made it sound like you were so… inexperienced,” Kaveh mumbles, trying to hide his face with his hands, only to find that they were still held in a firm grip by Alhaitham.

“I am inexperienced.” Alhaitham pulls away, his hair falling over his eyes attractively. “But you admit that I’m a good kisser.”

Kaveh’s cheeks flush red and he sighs. “You’re horrible.”

“Really?” Alhaitham stares down at him amused. “But I could prove otherwise.” He begins to lean down again but Kaveh protests and manages to roll away while pulling Alhaitham down to lie with him. He turns on his side and caresses his cheek lovingly.

“I take it back,” Kaveh whispers, leaning into the palm of his hand. “Not horrible. But insatiable.”

And to unintentionally prove his point, Alhaitham’s eyes flicker down to where Kaveh’s tongue swipes out to lick his lips.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Kaveh’s breath hitches and his lips part. And then he shuffles forward so that he can hide his face somewhere in his broad chest.

“Me too,” he whispers.

Alhaitham smiles, his eyes catching a glimpse of the way his ears redden. “That’s good to hear.”

Kaveh hums, too embarrassed to pull away.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Alhaitham says before they fall asleep.

Kaveh hums quietly. “Yeah?”

“I’ve read a few romance novels.”

vi. Forehead kisses

Alhaitham finds himself waking up and staring at the list once again. Not the one about all the physical affections, but the one about Kaveh. He has so many things to add about him like the way his smaller hand splays across Alhaitham’s upper back as a way to keep him in place. He tries to keep them in his head before he forgets since he can’t… currently do so. Not with Kaveh snuggled into his arms, quiet snores occasionally leaving his body.

Alhaitham sighs, albeit fondly. The physical affection list on the other hand is still sitting at the foot of their bed where Kaveh had tossed it aside to kiss Alhaitham instead. He squints his eyes and finds that every single item on it is crossed out. They’ve tried everything. They’ve hugged, kissed, and touched each other with thumping hearts.

Yet, Alhaitham can’t seem to get enough.

He tightens his arm around the man, pulling him closer into his embrace. But in doing so, he accidentally wakes him up.

Kaveh shuffles in his arms, letting out slow breaths as he slowly blinks his eyes open. Then, he looks up and smiles at the sight of Alhaitham staring back with a soft gaze.

“Good morning,” Kaveh whispers, voice scratchy from sleep.

“Morning,” Alhaitham hums.

“What were you staring at just now?” Kaveh raises an eyebrow, playfully tracing his hands up and down the muscles of Alhaitham’s back.

“The list of all those physical touches you forced me to try,” Alhaitham deadpans.

Kaveh stares up at him offended. “Hey! Half of those were from you.”

Alhaitham stifles a laugh and shakes his head, burying his nose into the crook of Kaveh’s neck. He wonders briefly if he had already added the point to his own personal list that Kaveh’s skin naturally smells warm and honey-like. Or maybe that’s just his own affection talking.

“And we finished all of the things on the list?”

Alhaitham nods quietly.

“So how’d you enjoy it?”

“Hm?” Alhaitham pulls away, staring sleepily into Kaveh’s pretty, bright eyes.

“Did you…” Kaveh trails off, suddenly getting shy. “Did you enjoy the things we did? The hugging and all? I know you always said that you were unsure of physical touch. Hence, that’s why we made that list in the first place. But– you know, just saying… if you don’t want to do them again, then that’s–”

Alhaitham smiles and leans in, pressing his lips to Kaveh, swallowing his words. Kaveh gasps but immediately melts into his touch.

“I loved it,” Alhaitham says after they break apart.

Kaveh widens his eyes adorably. “Really?”

“Really.” Alhaitham shifts even closer, yearning for his touch. Of course, Kaveh gives. His hand slides up and begins to stroke Alhaitham’s nape, sending shivers down his spine and his heart pounding.

Kaveh grins. “So what you’re saying is… that you want to continue physical intimacy?”

Alhaitham nods. “Only with you. For eternity.”

Kaveh’s breath hitches and his cheeks flush beautifully under the morning sun. “I–”

Alhaitham leans away to stare and admire his lover’s pretty face. He gives him a small smirk. “What?”

The blonde shakes his head. “It’s odd to see you be so vocal about these things. I mean, it’s not like I’m complaining…”

“I think I have a crush on you,” Alhaitham suddenly states just to tease him further.

Kaveh lets out a startled noise and he groans. “Please,” he whines. “I can’t do this.” He tries to shuffle closer to Alhaitham’s body, presumably to do his usual habit of hiding in his chest whenever he’s embarrassed. But, Alhaitham’s quick to stop him.

“I forgot something on the list,” he whispers.

Kaveh furrows his eyebrows and stares at him with a flustered pout. “What is it?”

“The one that started it all.”

And then he tilts his chin up so that his lips hover just over Kaveh’s forehead. He lets himself linger there for a moment before leaning in, pressing a kiss to his skin. Kaveh’s hand grips tightly onto his shirt.

“A forehead kiss,” he murmurs, looking at him with soft yet teasing eyes. Kaveh’s eyes, on the other hand, are wide and dilated. His cheeks are painted a pretty pink and it doesn’t take long for him to force his way back into Alhaitham’s arms and bury his face into his chest.

“You’re crazy.”

Alhaitham doesn’t respond, but instead holds the man tighter because, despite his doubts, he most certainly knows that Kaveh will always be there to ground him.

Alhaitham is a fool completely in love.