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A cloud of shimmering white smoke left Daigo's parted lips as he got ready to take another puff on his vape. He'd been using white instead of vibrant colors believing it would have less impact on his skin, but the level of stress he’d been lately subject to had led him to smoke more and more and his lips had begun to turn white and sparkly, similar to those of the drug addicts who populated the streets of the city.
After the fall of the Tojo clan and several years of trying to get his life back on track outside the criminal world, Daigo had been forced to turn back to a life of crime. He hadn't been excited about this, but disappointed with himself and his lack of capacity to make a living on his own, away from his father's shadow and the path that had been laid out for him since childhood. However, the risks that leading a life of crime again posed to himself were not as significant as the risks it posed to those around him, especially his loved ones. And that was exactly the reason why he had distanced himself from them, a pitiful attempt to protect them and his damaged pride. He had no clue where Saejima or Majima were, he had abandoned them months ago with no explanation, and with Yayoi and Kiryu gone and Watase disappeared there were no more people to care about. Well, actually there was someone and Daigo wished he would just stay away.
Daigo was now a simple goon working for the mafia that secretly existed under the most successful rocket-boots manufacturer and that made sure they didn’t have any competitors, it was the same vehicle everyone used to fly around but he himself could not afford. He lived on the third floor of a building that was almost falling apart, near the center of the city. That was the cheapest zone, as nobody wanted to live where all the noises and toxic fumes were concentrated. The highest parts of the city were reserved for those who could reach them, while Daigo and others like him had to settle for the ground.
He walked home alone at night, no one bothered him, people barely spoke nowadays. All around him hundreds of neon signs tried so desperately to get his attention none of them succeeded. He was pathetic, so was the world, everything was too impersonal now, so fake. Then, just as he was about to enter the building, a voice called for his attention.
“Daigooo! How was your day?”
There he was again, hiding his body and eyes under a dark cloak though his smile was wide and clearly visible, waiting for him to come back home yet another day.
“I already told you I'm not Daigo, so leave me alone, sir. I don't know who you are.”
The man pulled back his cloak just enough for Daigo to see his whole face. Of course he recognized him, that smile and whiny voice were more than enough. And that was why he should go.
“Don't play dumb, of course you remember me! It's me, your dear friend Shinada.”
“No, I don't. And don't you think it's inappropriate to wait for me in front of my house? You’re acting like a stalker.”
Shinada's smile disappeared along with the sparkle in his eyes, but it quickly returned.
“Doesn't this situation sound familiar to you? You also waited for me one day outside my house. That day you were also hiding your identity.”
“Sorry, but I think you have the wrong person.”
Daigo looked away from Shinada and walked past him to open the door, only to be addressed again.
“Could you at least give me some food, please? I know I already owe you a lot and I'm asking too much, but I haven't eaten in days. Anything will do.” Shinada begged.
Sighing, Daigo looked at him again. He was shivering and filthy, who knows how many months he had gone without touching a single drop of water. Daigo closed his eyes for a moment, wondering what he should do, but he could only see one possible option.
“Fine, come up.”
Shinada let out a little squeal of astonishment and happiness.
“Inside? You’re letting me in your house?”
“Lower your voice, don't make a fuss at this hour.”
Seeing Shinada was having trouble getting up, Daigo held out a hand which the other man took reluctantly. His hand was cold and hard and it took Daigo a moment to realize what that meant. When he did, his eyes widened and Shinada looked away in embarrassment.
“What’s happened to your arm?”
Shinada hurried to get up to let go of his hand and step back.
“I can explain, I swear. But upstairs, if you don't mind.”
Daigo agreed. Even if his metal limb made him uncomfortable, he was still Shinada. Now he understood why he covered himself up so much, it was his only way to survive in a country that rejected any kind of body modifications that the government considered made a person less human, no matter how useful they might be in some cases. Daigo was of the opinion that there were good reasons to ban some extreme modifications, however, the ban went to such absurd lengths as limiting the allowed hair dyes to those colors that occurred naturally. And while it was true that such slight body modifications only resulted in a fine that could often be avoided, more serious modifications such as Shinada's could lead to several years in prison in addition to their forced removal.
Daigo opened the door of his house to Shinada, who walked right in, marveling at every nook and cranny of his humble abode. Quickly, the clean air in the room began to sour with Shinada's body odor, so Daigo decided to act.
“Do you want to take a bath?”
“Do I smell bad?” Asked Shinada with his hurt puppy dog eyes.
Daigo hesitated, looking for an answer that would not hurt his feelings, but not finding one he only ended up stammering.
“Actually I would really appreciate a relaxing bath, my shoulders are tired and the gaps between pieces of metal are full of dirt.”
Daigo pointed him to the bathroom and then went to get some clean, comfortable clothes that might fit Shinada. Finally, he stopped by the kitchen to grab some cling film, reasoning that he must not get his robotic arm wet. When he went into the bathroom to leave his things there, Shinada was already naked and let out a little scream as he covered his genital area with his hands. Daigo covered his eyes, but he had already seen too much: Shinada's naked torso furrowed by circuits lodged into his skin, his robotic arms and reinforced legs. What was left of the man he knew?
“I'm sorry!” He hastily apologized, blindly searching for the rack where he could leave the clothes for him.
“Thanks for the clothes. What's the plastic for?”
“You can't get your arm wet, right?”
Shinada laughed.
“Of course I can. Otherwise it would be very impractical, I would be incapacitated by just a little rain.”
“Then I'm going to take this with me. Once again, forgive me.”
Daigo half-opened his eyes to make sure he didn't throw anything to the floor as he picked up the cling film and covertly took one more glance at Shinada's naked body. His embarrassed cheeks flushed red with excitement, but he forced himself to stop staring so it wouldn't be too obvious and got out quickly.
Daigo waited on the sofa for Shinada to come out of the bathroom. He had many questions and still didn't know where to start. It had been twenty years since they had last seen each other, shortly before Daigo left Tokyo with Majima and Saejima. Back then things were very different and the world seemed like a completely different place. In that span of years the lives of the two had changed drastically in ways they could never have predicted.
When Shinada came out of the bathroom, he sat on the sofa, next to him. Daigo's pajamas were too tight on him, exposing his lower abdomen and ankles and excessively marking all his muscles. Once seated, Shinada took the bacon and cheese sandwich that Daigo had prepared for him and began to gobble it down.
“I suppose you're wondering why I look like this.” Said Shinada, looking into his eyes with his mouth full.
Daigo nodded.
“Yes. I didn't know how to ask.”
The two of them kept a brief silence in which Daigo tapped his foot on the floor as Shinada finished his sandwich.
“It happened about two years ago, until then my life was just as you knew it. I was still working the same job, had Takasugi behind me giving me a slap on the wrist when I needed it, I visited Milky-chan regularly and I was just another citizen of Kineicho. In short, it was a normal life, as if the whole mess with the Nagoya Family had never happened.” Shinada began to narrate. “But I was starting to get old and, if it was already hard making ends meet, I wondered what would become of me once I couldn't work anymore. And that's when the proposal came.”
Shinada stopped for a moment to clear his throat and wipe his lips with a napkin. Daigo listened to him without interrupting, leaning on one arm of the sofa and sipping the whiskey he had poured himself while Shinada leaned on the other. He was ashamed to admit it, but lately he was taking every opportunity he had to drink, it was the same or even worse than when he was barely thirty.
“One day at the batting center I was approached by a man who claimed to be the promoter of a German senior baseball league. He’d been looking for me to put me in contact with one of the teams looking for new players. He explained what it was all about and everything sounded too good to be true, but I was excited because an opportunity like this could fix my life.” Shinada continued, although his face became more serious as the story progressed. “I decided that checking it out couldn't do me any harm, so he showed me some games from the league and everything seemed normal. Right then and there I accepted the promoter's offer and soon underwent a medical examination to check my physical condition. That's where everything went wrong. During the examination I was given some kind of drug and lost consciousness. When I woke up I looked like this.”
Daigo's eyes widened at the confession. Shinada could be quite innocent at times, but that was a move even he wouldn't have been able to see, an inconceivable deception. He couldn't help but feel sorry for his situation, even more delicate than his own.
Shinada showed Daigo his arms: two titanium prostheses connected to his body below the shoulder, then took off his shirt and pants to show him the rest. Daigo watched him with curiosity and interest, reaching an unsure hand up to his torso which Shinada took and placed on his abs, where Daigo could feel the circuits and muscles he had seen earlier in the bathroom.
“Why did they do this to you?”
“I don't know. They must have seen my idiot face.”
Shinada kept silent, looking at the ground in embarrassment. Daigo lifted his head by his chin to look him in the eye.
“Hey, it wasn't your fault, they took advantage of you.”
“I know, but it's hard not to blame myself.” Shinada sighed. “Then I didn't know that overseas they were starting to organize leagues with cyborgs. I don't understand why they did this to me and not to someone who was willing to go through this change. They ruined my life and now I have to live in hiding."
“It's because of the morbid desire to have an old promise that never made it with them. They knew that if they told you, you’d say no, but once the changes were made, you couldn't refuse.”
“How do you know that?” Shinada exclaimed as he put his pants back on.
Daigo shrugged, unbuttoned the top buttons of his black shirt and leaned back.
“Maybe there's something I'm missing, but it seems like the most plausible option to me. Think of the audience they’d have if they told the story of a desperate old Japanese player who gives up everything for a few years of fame. Plus, far away from any known person and with how frowned upon cyborgs are around here... You'd have no choice but to go ahead, they could extort you any way they wanted. Or maybe it's just me, thinking in terms of the yakuza even though I abandoned it twenty years ago.”
“Right, so what's happened? Last time we met you told me you were planning to start your own company, yet you don't look to be living up to the standards of an entrepreneur but of an errand boy, and you're lonely as shit.”
A low blow, but true, way too true. Daigo had isolated himself from everyone, sometimes he was too much like the man he had respected the most. He still missed him, him and all those who were gone, he remembered them often.
“Do you mind if we continue talking in my bed?”
Shinada's face turned white and then red, then Daigo realized how bad what he had just said sounded.
“I mean... I'm tired and you don't want to sleep here, do you? Only my room is heated and I have only one bed, but I think if we squeeze in, we'll both fit. That's all I meant!” Daigo corrected himself, stumbling on his words.
Shinada started laughing nervously.
“Of course, I hadn't understood anything different! It's not like it's the first time we slept together, man. Remember when we were in high school? What a night! It'll be just like old times.”
Daigo downed all the remaining whiskey in one gulp and turned away so Shinada wouldn't see his blush. He then led him to his room cursing himself during the short walk. Daigo opened the bed and they each laid on one side facing out, their backs touching.
“Remember that day when they kicked us out of a nightclub?” Daigo asked.
“I thought you had a very bad memory for these things. Anyway, weren't we talking about how you got here?”
“I’ d never forget these moments, Tatsuo, they were the best. We had to run away from the bouncers and ended up lost in a park we didn't know.” Daigo whispered, ignoring his question. “Sometimes I wish I could be that boy again and sleep with you again on the grass gazing at the stars. Can we pretend we're there? Just today.”
Shinada turned to him, placing a hand on his back and Daigo closed his eyes allowing himself to be comforted.
“You don't want to tell me what's bothering you?” Asked Shinada.
Daigo shook his head.
“I don't want to burden you with my problems when yours are worse.”
“It's stupid to compare them, we each have our own. I can listen to you if you need it, but if you prefer just a hug I can also give it to you.”
Daigo froze for a moment with half-open eyes. He couldn't remember when he had last received a hug, but he feared that accepting it would make him seem too vulnerable. He’d had to keep up appearances for so many years and suffered so many betrayals that it was hard for him to let his guard down even when he was alone, but perhaps the time had come. Daigo turned around and plunged his face into Shinada's bare chest, who wrapped his arms around him. It was a warm, heartfelt embrace, full of affection and tears began to overflow Daigo's eyes. They were not for anything that had happened recently, but for years and years of events he had not allowed himself to mourn. In that moment he was glad Shinada was waterproof.
“I miss everyone: Kiryu, Majima, Saejima, Mine, my mother... Damn, even people like Ryuji. I want to see them all again, but I can't.”
“I feel the same way.” Said Shinada. “We are far away from the people we care about, but now at least we have each other.”
“I'm glad I ran into you. I feel less lonely.”
Daigo lifted his head from Shinada's chest and rested his forehead against the other man's, bringing his arms behind his back to reciprocate in the embrace. His smooth back was also riddled with wires and circuitry embedded into his skin and right in the center Daigo felt a socket-like hole. Daigo's eyes widened in horror and he brought his other hand to Shinada's temple, pushing his hair away from his face to reveal a microprocessor connected to his brain.
Daigo jumped out of bed with a scream over the implications of his discovery, Shinada seemed surprised by his reaction.
“What are you?” Daigo shouted.
“I am Shinada, where’s this coming from?”
The sadness and pain in the robot's eyes seemed almost real.
“You’re not, get away from me.” Daigo ordered.
“I don't know what you mean. It's me, your friend.”
“You are no human, but a robot wearing my friend's skin.”
Daigo stepped back as the fake Shinada, the robot that had taken the form of his friend, advanced towards him step by step. Daigo's back touched the wall and then he knew he had no escape and that when he thought things couldn't get worse he was wrong, everything was possible in a dark world like the one they lived in.