Work Text:
Keiji Akaashi woke up with a text from Bokuto waiting for him on his phone. It was a picture of Hinata making a dramatic face while gesturing at a pudding on the plate in front of him along with a text that said “It’s Kenma!!!” Akaashi chuckled a little and shook his head. He typed back “Was Kenma delicious?”
It had only been long enough for him to wash his face and get half dressed before Bokuto texted back.
Bokuto Kotaro: Good morning! 😁
Bokuto Kotaro: He was!
Despite the smile that pulled at his mouth, Akaashi’s chest ached when he thought about Bokuto smiling at his phone. Why did his body still react like this? His heartbeat was quick and there was something sunny and smiley deep in his gut. But that was the issue.
Akaashi put down his phone and walked away from it to finish getting ready for work. It had been years since Akaashi saw Bokuto nearly every day for practice. They rarely saw each other in person anymore, mostly keeping touch through texts and calls. That was by design, of course. And yet, Akaashi still couldn’t shake this silly schoolboy crush. And, because of that, every time he saw Bokuto and felt all fluttery inside, it hurt even more to know that Bokuto didn’t feel the same. And, every time, he felt even more pathetic.
His phone was the last thing he picked up before leaving for work. He had more texts.
Bokuto Kotaro: You should come to our game tomorrow!
Bokuto Kotaro: Kuroo said he’ll be there and that Kenma said he’d come too!
Bokuto tried to get Akaashi to come to all of their local games. Akaashi went to a lot of them at first, but hadn’t been to one in months. He stared at the messages and chewed on the inside of his cheek as he swayed with the movement of the morning train.
Akaashi Keiji: I might
Bokuto responded almost immediately.
Bokuto Kotaro: YAYAYAY!! You should definitely come! Please! 🙏
When Akaashi got to the stadium, they were four points into the first set (three of which had gone to MSBY). He found Kenma in the front row and sat next to him.
“What’s up?” Kenma asked, leaning his chin in his hand and sporting a disinterested expression.
“I ended up staying late at work today,” Akaashi answered, letting out a sigh that he’d been holding in since the last minute editing debacle began. He’d come to the stadium straight from the office.
“That’s rough,” Kenma sympathized.
“Where’s Kuroo-san?”
“Down there,” Kenma pointed to the court, “Telling off the new photographer.”
Akaashi raised a questioning eyebrow.
“His flash was on and it totally distracted Shoyo in the middle of a play.”
Akaashi shook his head. He sympathized with the new photographer, first days were rough. But there were lights on the players from every direction, so there should be no need for a flash.
“So,” Kenma began, side-eyeing his old friend, “What brought you to this game? You come to these things even less than I do lately. And their opponents aren’t even that good.”
“I don’t know,” Akaashi admitted. His eyes carefully followed Atsumu Miya as he sent a minus tempo quick to Hinata before the other team could even think about their read blocking. He could almost feel the ball on his own finger tips.
Kenma seemed to accept that response. They continued to watch the game in comfortable silence. The opposing team made a pretty impressive line shot since MSBY’s middle blockers fully closed off the cross. And the libero was in the perfect spot to send the ball in a rainbow to Miya.
MSBY was ahead by four points by the time Kuroo returned to the stands.
“Yo, Akaashi! You came!” He patted Akaashi’s shoulder as he squeezed past him to sit on Kenma’s other side.
“Uh huh.” Akaashi nodded, but he was distracted by the first live volleyball game he’d seen in far too long.
Kuroo bumped his shoulder into Kenma, who complained, “Hey!” making Kuroo snicker in response.
Despite this being far from the most intense game Akaashi had ever seen (or been part of), his excitement was palpable. He felt like a teenager again, watching these powerhouses soar through the air and hearing the ball smack against the court.
The opposite team’s middle blockers leapt to block Hinata, but Akaashi saw what they didn’t: Bokuto charging up behind him for a back row attack. He leapt and the ball seemed to stop in the air above his hand, but Bokuto’s eyes weren’t on the ball anymore. He was looking into the stands with a huge smile on his face. He swung too late and missed the ball completely. It landed on the wrong side of the net with a light ‘tmp.’
“Ope. He noticed,” Kuroo said with a crooked smile.
Miya, Sakusa, and Meian were all scolding him, but Bokuto wasn’t paying them any attention. He was hopping up and down and waving. He yelled “Akaaaaaashi!” loud enough to be heard from the far end of the court.
Akaashi covered his reddening face and his incredulous smile and waved back.
Once the game was back on track, Kenma asked casually, “So, you over him?”
Akaashi deflated. He leaned down, with his joined hands covering the bottom half of his face, and shook his head. Kenma gave him a pat on the back.
“And I assume you haven’t asked him out?” Kuroo added, putting his feet up on the ledge in front of them.
“I can’t do that.”
Kuroo began to ask why, but they’d had this conversation before. He knew how it’d end and that was with Akaashi spiraling from self doubt and lovesick panic. So he held his tongue.
Unbeknownst to his friends, Akaashi was already on that spiral. Why had he let himself get so happy when Bokuto noticed him? Why did he want him to smile at him like that again? He couldn’t keep doing this.
By the end of set one, Akaashi had made up his mind.
Right after the match ended, Akaashi got up and said goodbye to Kenma and Kuroo. He followed the crowd of spectators out of the stands. He’d almost made it to the exit when an all too familiar voice shouted, “Aaaghaashi!”
Akaashi stopped where he was and sighed. He turned to face Bokuto, who was beginning to get swarmed by fans. But Bokuto only had eyes for his old classmate. He politely pushed through the crowd and ran to meet Akaashi. When they were close enough, Bokuto grabbed Akaashi and squeezed him in a tight hug.
Akaashi accepted the hug and the butterflies in his stomach. Bokuto was even taller than he was in highschool and he’d filled out with even more muscle. Still, Bokuto’s body felt so familiar. His arms and his chin on Akaashi’s shoulder. His jersey was slightly damp.
“Okay, Bokuto-san, that’s enough,” Akaashi said after an already long hug.
“Just a little longer.” Bokuto’s voice was quieter than Akaashi expected, so he relented and leaned his head against Bokuto’s two-toned hair.
Bokuto squeezed him hard before finally letting him go. When he backed a half step away, Akaashi could see his blinding smile.
“You came!”
“I did.”
The focus of the people around them turned from the couple, and they followed their collective gaze to where Hinata was awkwardly scooching through the crowd.
“Hinata-kun!” Bokuto said excitedly, as if they hadn’t been playing together minutes ago.
“Bokuto-kun,” Hinata said, “Meian says you need to get back right away. Hi Akaashi-san!”
“Hi.”
Bokuto looked between Akaashi and Hinata with big sad puppy eyes.
“Akaashi can come with us,” Hinata added, knowing exactly what Bokuto was pouting about.
“It’s fine. I was leaving anyw—”
“Noooo Aakaashi! You have to come with us!” Bokuto had grabbed Akaashi’s arm and was already pulling him back to the door labeled ‘players only’. Both team members ignored Akaashi’s feeble protest.
In the team dressing room, Akaashi was immediately faced with a frowning Atsumu Miya. “You lost us a point,” He said pointedly.
Akaashi looked back at him with a deadpan expression. “That was entirely Bokuto-san’s fault for getting distracted.”
“Akaashi!” Bokuto whined.
“You still call him ‘Bokuto-san’?” Sakusa said from the far corner of the room, his eyebrows slightly raised.
Akaashi just looked between all the players around him. He wasn’t sure why they seemed so much more intimidating than they had when he was in high school. Bokuto stepped between him and Miya, almost protectively. But, that movement did not stop Bokuto from continuing what he had been doing, which was taking off his shirt. Akaashi had to take a deep breath and look anywhere else.
He ended up looking back at the corner where Sakusa Kiyoomi was leaning. He was looking back at Akaashi with interrogative interest.
“Jeez. Stop pestering him,” Meian, the captain, finally said. “Kuroo and Kozume are just outside the door. We’ll all head out that way too when we’re done, okay?” He kindly told Akaashi, who nodded briskly, thanked him, and made a beeline for the door.
In a little back hallway, Kuroo was looking at the screen of the photographer’s camera and nodding thoughtfully, MSBY’s manager was talking to someone on his cellphone, and Kenma was looking right at Akaashi. He raised his eyebrows.
Akaashi sighed and went to stand next to him.
“You got caught, huh?” Kuroo said with a smirk, glancing up from an action shot of Hinata about to spike the ball.
“Yep.” There was a sinking feeling in his stomach. What was he doing here?
The team all piled out of the changing room after a little while. Meian told Kuroo, Kenma, and Akaashi that the team was going out for dinner and that they were all welcome to join.
“I really should go ho—”
“Come with us!” Bokuto pleaded.
“Yeah!” Hinata agreed.
“You don’t have to work tomorrow, right?” Bokuto asked, big gold eyes so full of hope.
“No, but—”
“Yeah. You worked late today so you wouldn’t have to go in tomorrow, right?” Kenma butted in unhelpfully.
“Yes!” Bokuto celebrated already.
“Ooh!” Hinata exclaimed, “Bokuto-kun! Take a picture of me with Miya, Kenma, and Akaashi!”
“Hell yeah!” Bokuto took Hinata’s phone and snapped a couple photos of Miya and Hinata cheesing while Akaashi and Kenma smiled awkwardly with their mouths closed tightly.
Hinata took back his phone and looked at the pictures. “Tobio is gonna be so mad. Heheheh.” He snickered.
And, just like that, the subject was changed and Akaashi was getting whisked away to a restaurant deep in the city. To his dismay, Kenma and Kuroo went home instead of going with them. Sitting at the long table full of professional volleyball players, Akaashi felt incredibly out of place.
Bokuto kept asking him questions about his day, his work, what he’d thought of the game, had he seen the really cool picture of him from their last game (yes. Akaashi had seen it on social media and when Bokuto sent it to him directly). And Akaashi just kept shrinking under his enthusiastic gaze until the drinks came and he couldn’t take it anymore.
Akaashi stood up and pulled on his jacket. “I’m sorry,” He rushed to say, “I can’t– I really should go home. I have to…” He hurried out the door, apologizing several more times.
The air outside the restaurant was cool and considerably less suffocating than the air inside. If he hadn’t made up his mind before, he definitely had now. He couldn’t be around Bokuto anymore. It was too much. The only way he was going to get over him would be to stop talking to him completely. And he just couldn’t stand wanting him so bad any longer.
“Akaashi!” It was the last voice he wanted to hear in that moment, but something deep inside him still jolted with happiness. He walked faster. “Akaashi!” Bokuto repeated, running to catch up to him. “Let me walk you to the station.” He grinned and it squeezed at Akaashi’s heart.
Akaashi stopped and stared at the ground.
Bokuto leaned over to look at his face. “You okay? Sorry, those guys can be asses sometimes.”
“No. It’s not that,” Akaashi said.
“Oh. Then what?”
Akaashi couldn’t look Bokuto in the eye even though he felt like he deserved at least that much. He looked at his mouth instead. “Bokuto-san,” He began.
“Sakusa’s right, you now,” Bokuto interrupted, “You don’t need to call me that. I’m not your upperclassman anymore.”
“Bokuto,” He had to work very hard not to say ‘san,’ “I…”
“You can call me Kotaro,” Bokuto said quietly, looking off to the side. His ears had turned a little pink. The words died in Akaashi’s throat at that.
But he made himself say them anyway. “Bokuto, I mean, Kotaro,” He nearly winced as he said it. He shouldn’t get to call him that. “I don’t think we should talk anymore.”
“What?” Bokuto looked like Akaashi had just hit him.
“I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.” Akaashi felt the sting of his own words too.
“But– but why?”
“Bokuto-san, please.” His voice was beginning to get thick with tears threatening to spill over.
“Akaashi-san?” Someone said quietly. Akaashi and Bokuto looked at each other before looking towards the voice. Hinata was standing only a couple of feet away, looking stunned and upset. “Akaashi-san, you left your wallet.” He held it out.
“Thank you, Hinata-kun,” Akaashi told him, forcing a smile, “Bokuto-san was just about to go back and I was just… leaving.”
Bokuto, for possibly the first time in his life, was silent.
“Bokuto-kun?” Hinata asked.
He just nodded and started to shuffle back to the restaurant.
Akaashi made to turn the other direction but Hinata grabbed his arm. “What’s going on? Why don’t you want to talk to Bokuto-kun anymore?”
“I…” Akaashi realized that he didn’t have the energy to lie to him or to keep himself from crying. “Because I’m in love with him,” He admitted, raising his arms and dropping them back down in defeat. Tears burned in his eyes and his next breath came in as a gasp.
“Huh?”
“I’ve been in love with him since high school and he doesn’t feel the same way about me. And I’ve tried to get over him. I’ve been trying. For years.” Akaashi pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes as tears slipped down his cheeks. “And I just can’t . And it hurts .” Any other words he was going to say were swallowed up by a sob.
“Have you actually asked him whether he feels the same way?” Akaashi started and uncovered his eyes to see Atsumu Miya standing next to Hinata with his arms crossed.
“Miya-kun, I don’t think you should—” Hinata began.
“Have you?”
“No,” Akaashi admitted, “But it’s obvious. He—”
Miya sighed loudly. “You know I thought you guys were dating for, like, a year?”
“Huh?”
“He’s fucking obsessed with you,” He continued, “He compares my sets to yours constantly. It’s fucking annoying.”
“Sorry,” Akaashi said, slightly bitter.
Miya rolled his eyes.
“But that’s just how Bokuto is. He’s like that with everyone. He talks about Hinata-kun to me all the time.”
“I dunno, Akaashi,” Hinata muttered.
“Fine. Do whatever you want,” Miya said and then pulled Hinata back the way they’d come.
Actually alone for the first time in hours, Akaashi didn’t move from that spot. He couldn’t. All he could do was shake and cry and hug his arms around himself.
When Bokuto had sat back down at the table, his eyes were far away and he pressed his mouth shut tight, looking agonized. His breathing was even a little shaky.
Miya and Sakusa had been watching out the window as Bokuto, and then Hinata, had chased Bokuto’s little high school bestie down, so they already knew something was up before Bokuto came back the way he was. So Miya went out to see what was up.
When he came back to the restaurant, all their other team members were trying to comfort Bokuto and figure out what exactly was wrong.
“Bokuto,” Miya said comandingly.
Bokuto turned to face him, looking pathetic.
“You’re in love with Akaashi, right?”
Hinata’s eyes got wide and his head whipped around to look at Atsumu.
“Huh?” Bokuto responded.
Miya sighed. “Do you want to kiss him?”
Bokuto considered the proposition for a moment and his ears burned red. “Uh huh.”
“So do you love him, yes or no?” When Bokuto still didn’t answer, he continued, “You want to marry him? Bang him? Wake up next to him every morning? All that bullshit?”
“Bullshit?” Sakusa asked, slightly amused.
“Shh, just.” Miya waved him away, though he couldn’t help but smile at him a little.
“Yeah,” Bokuto said, beginning to nod, “Yeah.”
“Okay, cool. Go tell him that.”
Bokuto got up with a clatter and rushed out the door.
“Softy,” Sasuka whispered when Miya took his seat next to him.
“Shut up,” He replied and leaned his head on Sakusa’s shoulder.
Akaashi had only just started walking towards the train station again. Bokuto was at a full sprint when he caught up to him and almost crashed into Akaashi as he tried to catch him and slow down at the same time.
“Akaashi!” He grabbed Akaashi’s shoulders and then saw Akaashi’s face, shiny with tears and red all around his eyes and nose. “Are you okay?!”
Akaashi sniffed. “Bokuto-san, what are you doing?”
Bokuto wiped away some of Akaashi’s tears with his thumb.
“Bokuto-san let me go.” Akaashi tried to walk away, but Bokuto held on tighter.
“Akaashi I’m in love with you!”
“What?” Akaashi’s blue eyes were wide. “Really?” His voice was small.
“Yes!” Bokuto said. The suspense was killing him.
All of a sudden, Akaashi burst out laughing and crying harder at the same time.
“Akaashi!” Bokuto was panicking. “Woah, hey,” He tried his best to sooth Akaashi despite his own racing heart.
“Bokuto-san… Kotaro. It’s okay. They’re happy tears now.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Bokuto enveloped Akaashi in a hug.
“Wait, Kotaro.” Akaashi pushed Bokuto away by his shoulders so he could look right at him. “I love you too.”
“For real?”
“Yes,” Akaashi laughed, “Oh my god, I love you so much.”
Bokuto hugged Akaashi so hard that Akaash had to bat at his chest and say, “Bo– Kotaro, I can’t breathe.”
Bokuto let go and held Akaashi at arm’s length. He was practically trembling with excitement. “Wow. I really want to kiss you right now.”
Akaashi smiled and it was too pretty for Bokuto to bear. “Go ahead,” He said.
Bokuto wasted no time pulling Akaashi in and pressing their lips together. Akaashi wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck. The kiss was more than Akaashi had ever imagined (and he’d imagined a lot). His heart was racing and skipping and, for once, it felt good, right.
When they separated, Bokuto’s cheeks were bright pink and his shimmering gold eyes were wide with amazement. Akaashi had to cover his smile, it felt so illicit and silly. He could feel that his own face had flushed pink as well.
“Kotaro.”
Bokuto felt like melting every time he heard Akaashi say his first name like that, every sound wrapped in affection.
“Would you like to come back to my apartment where we can talk more about… us?” Akaashi asked, a little shy.
“Yes. Definitely,” Bokuto replied immediately.
Akaashi giggled at his eagerness. Bokuto didn’t think he’d ever seen Akaashi laugh and smile so much. He couldn’t get enough of it.