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Never Quite My Style

Summary:

Several months after Steve's death during the war over the SHRA, Tony discovers an AIM lab with a successful cloning project. Their success is a six month old baby, and Tony knows that caring for this child has now become his number one priority.

Notes:

Written for the Cap-IM Holiday Gift Exchange. My prompt was: “616: post-civil war tropey fixit (time travel/kidfic/journey through the multiverse/Steve watching The Confession w/e you like)” After reading/re-reading almost all of Civil War, a lot of Secret Invasion, and some of Dark Reign, I decided that this fic starts at a vague point after Civil War. Zeke Stane onwards does not happen to Tony. The Secret Invasion doesn’t happen to the heroes at large - nobody is secretly a Skrull. However, Steve’s revival goes pretty much the same as it does in the comics.

Title comes from the song Dear Theodosia from Hamilton.

Now that reveals have happened, I would like to give my most heartfelt thanks to CloudyJenn, HumanTrampoline85, and MissBecky for their support, letting me bounce ideas at them, and their reassurance. If not for these three women I wouldn't write half as much as I do, and I will never be able to thank them enough for that.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

An alarm blared in Tony’s ear.

He jerked awake and used Extremis to ‘look’ at the alarm that had gone off. Which hadn’t actually been in his ear, apparently. It was Extremis based, so it had gone directly into his brain and had only turned off when he checked it. He had quite a few alarms for a lot of different scenarios, but this one was special, and made Tony groan when he saw it.

After the debacle with the Thor clone, they’d decided that no one should ever be able to do that again. So Tony had set alarms to go off if someone bought large quantities of the materials needed for cloning. And one had just gone off.

He considered reaching out to … well … someone. Reed, maybe? He had been part of the decision for Tony to keep an eye on those materials, and he wouldn’t want anyone getting a hold of cloning tech either. But Reed was still making up with Sue, and Tony didn’t want to come over and butt in with an issue that had anything to do with the reason they’d had troubles in the first place.

No, checking this alarm out was something Tony needed to do himself. He got out of bed, showered quickly, got coffee, and then allowed the armor to surround him. It probably wouldn’t take long to take care of this, so he didn’t let anyone know where he was going.

***

It was AIM. Because when Tony was annoyed the last thing he needed to see was fucking yellow beekeeper uniforms. So of course it was them.

He blasted his way into the facility, through the hordes of tackily dressed AIM minions. Before he’d made it all the way through the facility and found the clone he heard a sharp, high pitched, terrified cry.

A child.

Shit.

They’d fucking done it and it was a child. God damn it. That meant it probably was a genuine clone, too. Not a half assed thing like the Thor clone had been - a soulless body around cybernetic innards. If they’d started off with a baby they’d grown the child from a few cells, and it was a real person, probably very nearly genetically identical to the original but with the potential to be a very different person.

Tony took aim and blasted one of the stupid looking beekeepers right in his stupid ass, pissed off. He hated it when the bad guys involved children. It wasn’t bad enough that they wanted to take over the world or make death rays or whatever else they wanted to do. But to get kids involved, that took real villainy.

By the time Tony found the room where the child was, dressed in a yellow onesie and screaming his head off in a metal crib, the AIM goons were running from him, rather than waiting for him to repulsor their asses into next week. Good. He went over to the kid, reaching into the crib and lifting him into his arms, rocking gently. The kid couldn’t have been more than six months old. Which was both good and bad. Bad because the poor kid had already spent six months in AIM’s clutches. Good because there didn’t seem to be any other kids there, so no other clones. They were probably waiting to make sure this one made it.

Tony went over to the computer, flipping the faceplate up so that the baby could see his face, and typed one handed, breaking into their systems by hand. Sure he could have used Extremis, but doing it by hand was soothing. He kept Extremis on the lookout through the security cameras for any AIM personnel trying to come back in and sneak up on him, but things seemed fine so far.

It didn’t take long for him to hack into the computer. AIM really needed to up their game. He quickly navigated through their systems until he found what he was looking for. There was a file called the Haldane Project, and when he opened it he saw stats for Subject Alpha, and a date for Subject Bravo to be put into production. He arched an eyebrow. Phonetic alphabet, original.

“I don’t think ‘Subject Alpha’ is a very good name,” Tony said to the baby, who peered up at him with curious blue eyes. “How about James? James is the name of one of my best friends.” He had a feeling that Rhodey would have mixed emotions, to put it politely, about Tony naming a random clone baby after him.

The baby said nothing, of course, and Tony continued nosing into the files. He came across a stats sheet for the baby and saw ‘sex:F’ on one line. “Oops. Guess you’re not a James after all. How about Jamie?” The baby didn’t immediately object, so he smiled at her and kept browsing. After several moments, he said, eyes wide, “Oh, fuck.”

‘Donor DNA: Captain America, aka Steve Rogers, blood obtained in battle.’ The screen said.

Tony looked between the words and the child in his arms. The blond fuzz across her head, the big blue eyes. AIM had cloned a child from Cap. AIM had stolen Steve’s blood from a battle and cloned a baby.

Outrage and sheer protective panic warred inside him. Steve was gone, dead because of Tony. It didn’t matter who had pulled the trigger, it had been Tony’s fault. It had been the worst possible outcome for the SHRA passing, including Tony’s own death. Nothing could ever, ever make it right.

But this baby needed him. No matter whose clone he would have helped. But Steve’s? Steve’s he would go to the end of the earth for. Because this child was the last of Steve, and he loved Steve, had loved him for years and had never gotten the chance to tell him.

Tony looked down at the baby, smiling at her, then looked up and slid the facemask down. He needed to get to work destroying this facility so that no one could copy their work.

Once the AIM base has been taken care of, Tony was left to figure out how to handle things from there. Given what had happened with Sharon Carter, Tony had a feeling that more than just AIM would be after any child of Steve’s. Red Skull would probably be after Jamie, too, in addition to probably every other villain who ever fought against Steve. If they knew who she really was. He could lie and give her a different origin, but then she’d be targeted because she was his child, instead. And someone would figure it out, eventually. Those things always came out. Either way, she was going to be in danger.

And after Steve’s death Tony had a feeling that registration would be repealed within two or three years. With that, Tony would probably be targeted by heroes and villains, politicians and the media, even probably private citizens since he had been the poster boy of registration. His reputation would be ripped to shreds, his company might be pulled out from under him, and he could even be killed. If it were just him he wouldn’t care. He’d never thought he would survive the war anyway. But now Jamie was here. He had to think about more than just himself.

So Tony formed plan. He found a place to lay low for a few days and then got to work. It was  easy, with Extremis, to hack into government servers and create a paper trail for a new identity. With most of his attention he cared for Jamie as he did it, figuring out how to change her diaper and feed her. He’d had enough cash on him to buy supplies for her and food for him for several days, but he’d need to get more money soon, and he wasn’t about to do it as Tony Stark. Not if he was trying to lay low.

When it came to making the documents, he paused at her middle name. There were quite a few good options, ranging from Virginia to Carol to Sarah and even Maria. And that was cutting it down by a lot. He looked down at her, smiling, as she sucked on a bottle. Her big blue eyes refocused on him and he stroked her head a little. He’d leave her without a middle name for now, and later he’d give her one. This probably wouldn’t last, he knew that - Tony Stark couldn’t disappear forever - and when he resurfaced he could give her a middle name then, if he decided on one by then.

The last name was simple - the same as the one Tony was giving himself. Tony already knew the name he would use to go underground, and it probably wasn’t a good idea, probably was too obvious, but that was the genius of it. It was so obvious that no one would suspect it. His own middle name and his mother’s maiden name.

Edward Carbonell.

That was the new him. Maybe he’d do better as this man than he had as Tony Stark.

Then came the tricky part. Actually acquiring the paperwork for their new IDs. It puzzled him how he’d manage it while carrying a baby until he realized that he could just, while he was still in the computer system, have them mailed to him at the safe house. It would create a paper trail to the safe house, but he’d never known anyone who could track Extremis and even if they followed it, it was a paper trail to Edward Carbonell, not Tony Stark.

Now he needed to not look like Tony anymore. The first step, as usual, was to shave all of his facial hair off. Jamie was not fond of that at all. She cried the first time she saw him when he came out of the bathroom.

“Oh, Jamie, no, sweetheart, it’s still me,” Tony said, going over and scooping her up, holding her close and rocking her gently. She kept crying, and he gently bounced her, desperate to find something to soothe her with. After a half an hour or so, he started to hum, and then to sing, a half remembered song from his own childhood. It was an Italian lullaby his mother had sung to him when he was a child, and he didn’t remember half the words and changed several of the others - substituting the assumption of a female singer with a male singer.

But it seemed to soothe her anyway, and she ended up falling asleep with one fist clutching his shirt. Tony sighed and kissed her head. He’d need to look up the rest of the words. Especially considering he was going to be coloring his hair much, much lighter. Though he was going to go for a reddish blond rather than straight blond this time.

Next on the list, once all that was done, was money. He picked a small town that he would relocate them to, found a bank with a branch there, and went to one of the branches near him. It was pretty easy to keep himself entertained, all he had to do was play with Jamie. He’d gotten her a few brand new toys, but they both looked kind of worn, since their clothes were from a thrift store in an attempt to make the cash he’d had stretch as far as possible. The bank manager gave him a few weird looks when she took him back to talk about opening an account, but when he gave her the account number of one an offshore account that Tony had set up a long time ago, just in case he ever needed to disappear - and therefore could not be traced back to Tony Stark in any way - and said he wanted to transfer all of that into an account at that bank … she started singing a different tune. Thankfully she also didn’t ask any uncomfortable questions.

Finally, after all of that was done, he relocated them. He bought a used, but still relatively new-ish and in good condition, SUV and drove them out to the small town in Wyoming he’d picked out. As they traveled he bought things they needed. More toys for Jamie, a good quality diaper bag and a stroller, one of those baby harnesses so he could keep her close to him and have his hands free. Clothes for himself, a laptop, a cell phone, a toolkit. The money from the offshore account would probably set them up for life, but he wanted to seem somewhat normal in the town they would settle in.

By the time they got to the town, Jamie had been his daughter for about a month. When it was just the two of them, she babbled almost constantly, and he spoke back to her as if he understood, which seemed to delight her. When they were around other people she was much more quiet, sort of shy. It was kind of adorable. Until it wasn’t.

The first thing he did when he got to town was buy some property. It was on a corner near the main road and had a storefront on the street level and a living area on the upper levels. He planned to have it renovated into an electronics store - something that town was missing - and work as someone who could repair appliances and computers and maybe do a little work as an electrician on the side. Technically Tony could do all of it, and it would be good, honest work.

The second thing he did when he got there was schedule an appointment with the local doctor - a woman by the name of Alisha Robertson - for Jamie. The town only had one doctor, and so Tony figured she’d be fine as Jamie’s doctor. Hopefully a doctor in a tiny town wouldn’t think to suspect anything odd about Jamie, given that, just like Steve, she was almost physically perfect.

To be honest he almost didn’t want to even schedule it, because as Steve’s clone she ought to never get sick and never need the doctor, but he knew that any good parent of a non-metahuman child would be getting his non-metahuman child to the doctor regularly. Besides, AIM had already messed with her genetic code enough to give her two X chromosomes instead of an X and a Y, so they could have accidentally made it so she could get sick. It made sense to have her go regularly, just in case.

He got to the appointment early, and once he signed in Jamie started fussing. Tony frowned a little, rocking her and singing to her - he’d found the lyrics to the lullaby he’d sung to her before, as well as several others, and had taken to singing to her whenever she was being fussy. It wasn’t often.

The door opened a few minutes later and a nurse called them back and as soon as they got into the examination room Jamie started screaming. She was inconsolable, tears and snot running down her face.

When Dr. Robertson came in, frowning and worried, but looking otherwise like a pleasant woman in her lab coat, Jamie screamed even louder, kicking and flailing. It was only then that Tony realized that Jamie had spent the first six months of her life in a cold, sterile lab, being poked and prodded by people that looked just like the doctor.

“Okay, Jamie, baby, we’re out of here. Shhh, it’s okay. I love you, and I won’t let anything happen to you,” he said, kissing her forehead and walking out of the room, out of the office and out of the building. Once they were out of the building he started singing again, and Jamie started to calm, hiccupping softly every so often.

“Mr. Carbonell?” a voice called, and he shielded Jamie’s eyes, just in case, turning to see the doctor coming out, still frowning.

“Yes, I’m sorry. It seems like Jamie doesn’t like the office, or your coat. Would it be possible for us to conduct the exam elsewhere? And without your white coat?” Tony asked, giving her a little smile.

“Of course. Give me five minutes to get a bag together. From now on when you call in for appointments, tell the front office you need a house call,” Dr. Robertson said, ducking back inside. When she came back out she was dressed in slacks and the long sleeved shirt that she’d had on under the coat. She had his diaper bag in one hand and an old fashioned doctor’s bag in the other.

Jamie had calmed significantly, though there was still snot and tears running down her face, and Tony took the diaper bag back with a quick thanks and grabbed some tissues out of it, wiping her face quickly.

Dr. Robertson performed a very quick check up, talking to Tony the whole time in quiet tones meant to help soothe Jamie. It worked pretty well, and afterwards Dr. Robertson looked at Tony and smiled. “She’s a very healthy baby. You said she’s seven months old?”

“Yeah. Thank you, by the way. This can’t be normal,” Tony said, smiling.

“Mr. Carbonell, when the vet is sick I tend to pigs and cows and horses. Nothing is normal when you’re the only doctor in a small town,” She gave him a smirk, and his grin widened. It looked like he’d traded in one type of weird for another.

***

Slowly, they melded with the town. He hired local contractors to help him fix up the storefront and the living space above, and lived at the only inn in town - a charming bed and breakfast - while the living space was unlivable. Word got around town that they were moving in and had pretty much nothing but money, and he found himself getting lots of homemade food from every direction, knitted caps and gloves and blankets for Jamie, and even some coupons to use at the local stores when he was settled in and buying things for the apartment above the store.

Somehow they’d missed encountering a thunderstorm until about two weeks after they’d gotten to town. Tony liked storms. They reminded him of Thor and Ororo and great times with good friends. So he opened the window of the room that he and Jamie were staying in and breathed in that pre-storm scent, relished in it.

Jamie, it turned out, hated them. The minute the thunder and lightning started, she began to cry and scream, almost as bad as she had with at Dr. Robertson’s office. Tony shut the window immediately and went to scoop her up, cradling her against his chest and singing to her. She stopped screaming, but kept crying, eventually crying herself to sleep. He had no idea why she would react that way to the storms, but he held her close all night long, the entire time it rained.

---

When Steve came back, he expected Tony to be there. He didn’t know why. They’d been on opposite sides of a literal war the last time he’d seen him, and Steve had screamed at him through cell bars. But he still somehow expected it. It wasn’t unheard of for one of them to die and come back, but it was still unusual. They’d been best friends for years before the war, so he had thought that this, his return, would merit Tony’s attention. It hurt that he wasn’t there.

It hurt a lot, actually. Far more than it should have. After all, there were other people that weren’t there, other friends that hadn’t been able to help with the fight against Red Skull that preceded Steve’s return, and he wasn’t hurt nearly as bad by their absence. In fact, their absence didn’t really make him feel badly at all. So why did Tony’s absence ache like he was missing a limb?

It hit him suddenly, and very inappropriately while he was talking with Sharon. Being with her, the way she made him feel, made him realize it. The feelings he had for Tony were the same as the feelings he had for Sharon - and had for Bernie, when he was with her. He was in love with Tony.

The next time he got Sam alone, he asked him about where Tony had been, and was startled and alarmed by his answer.

“Stark has been missing for months.” Sam said, digging through his fridge and grabbing beers for them both. Steve drank his mostly to be polite. Alcohol didn’t do much for him, so he usually didn’t care for it one way or the other.

“Missing?” Steve asked, frowning and leaning against one of Sam’s counters. He’d spent time with everyone like this, and he could tell that they all appreciated it. They’d all missed him and liked the reminder that he was back.

“Yeah. As far as anyone can tell the last time Iron Man was seen he was destroying AIM compound,” Sam explained, leading Steve to the couch and grabbing his laptop, showing him a video file on it. Tony was clearly furious, the way he was quickly blasting the compound to dust with high powered charges.

“What’s that?” Steve asked as he watched the video, pointing to a bundle in Tony’s arm, close to his chest. Tony was only using one hand to fight with, and was clearly protecting the bundle.

“Nobody knows. It must be related to why he vanished, but none of his accounts have been touched. Not even War Machine knows anything.” Sam shook his head.

Steve considered all of that for a long moment and then asked, “What’s being done?”

“Nothing. He’s not causing problems, he’s not left us a trace, and considering we’re still dealing with the SHRA we just don’t have the resources to spare.” Sam shook his head. “I’m sure if you ended up looking for and finding him, no one would object, it’s just not a priority right now.”

Steve … had to agree. With things still as strained as they were, One AWOL hero that appeared to have gone off the grid of his own free will wasn’t that much of a concern. No matter who he was. Or how much Steve loved him.

---

Steve was back.

Tony could barely believe it.

He looked over at Jamie, asleep in her crib, undisturbed by the TV on low. Tony sighed, body trembling. This could change everything. Or nothing. He could just … stay here? It was a lot nicer there than he’d thought it would be. The electronics store was a hit, and he’d been contracted a few times as an electrician. The people in town had accepted both of them as their own, doting on Jamie and bringing Tony homemade treats every so often. Some of the older generation, with unmarried children his age, even occasionally hinted around asking if he was ready to date. He’d always said no, pretending to still be mourning a deceased spouse. Really, he just knew that if he did date and get involved and get married, his secret would be exposed. They’d see him coloring his hair, they’d notice that Jamie was stronger than most kids her age.

He needed to think about this, instead of just reacting emotionally. He’d taken Jamie to protect her, from everyone. She’d be safe with Steve, too, but would she be safe in New York? Would she be loved? Was he being too protective? Now that Steve was back it would probably be safer for Jamie in New York. Especially if the heroes actually believed who she was. They always protected their own. And yeah, she hadn't been intentional, but she was biologically Steve’s and was being raised by Tony. They’d love her because she was Steve’s, and probably forgive her for Tony.

Was he trying to just convince himself he should go back because he wanted to be near Steve? That was a shitty thing to do, if it was. Shitty and selfish. No, his plan had been to stay in town for as long as possible. And that’s what he would do. This was a good place for them, for Jamie to grow up.

***

Three days later, when Jamie said “Papa!” over and over until she got his attention, clearly able now to associate the name - he’d had a feeling she’d go for Papa rather than Daddy, thanks to the lullabies - with him, Tony knew he’d made the right decision. She deserved as normal a life as he could give her, for as long as he could give it to her.

***

Eventually it all went wrong. Of course, Tony followed superhero news online and on TV whenever he could, because he needed to stay updated. All of his closest friends were heroes and this was the best way to keep track of them, if something happened. It was odd seeing things from this side, never knowing how things really happened, because of course the media spun it. When didn’t they? But some of them were better about it than others, and he knew how to pick the truth from the lies.

It was interesting to watch the downfall of the SHRA on television. The way they said it had happened was the president and congress and basically whoever else wanted their name slapped on the repeal for good publicity had all decided that the SHRA was strangling the good heroes, making it so that they couldn’t do their jobs right. It allowed villains to essentially roam free, as long as they wanted to play by rules set down in a slapdash law, and put the families and friends of superheroes in danger. Basically everything Steve’s side had said, except that it was a civil rights violation. Of course they wouldn’t admit that they’d let any kind of civil rights violation pass as law.

Steve, standing next to the president in a dark blue suit, looked good. That suit was just as tight as his previous ones, and Tony had an idea he’d be thinking about it the next time he had a chance for a long shower.

Most of the time, though, he watched battles on the news. He hated knowing people got hurt in battle and having to wait until press conferences to know if they were okay. Waiting at a bedside or in the hospital was frustrating enough. Having to wait even longer was so much worse.

But there weren't many bad battles that the Avengers took part in, and the ones they did didn't seem to have too many casualties. Which was a relief. But he still hated to see it happen.

And then it happened at home. Literally at home. Wyoming, for all that it was large and expansive, generally never had much powered villain activity. Since he’d moved there, he’d seen more and more, mostly small time things that the local police departments or the state troopers could handle.

Then Tony saw AIM - fucking AIM and their goddamned yellow beekeeper suits, fucking again - in town. Just wandering through town, pretty as you please, like they owned the place.

“Fuck,” Tony swore, and Esther, the seventy-something year old woman whose toaster he was fixing, looked up from where she’d been perusing his shelves. Over in her crib, Jamie giggled.

“I don’t mind language, but she’s at the age when she’ll repeat anything,” Esther said, nodding towards the crib.

“Yeah, fortunately she doesn’t pick the curse words up that much,” Tony muttered and pointed with his screwdriver, “See those guys? With the yellow outfits? They’re part of an organization called Advanced Idea Mechanics. Though whatever spin off of the month these chuckleheads are is anybody’s guess. They’re bad news. Supervillains. Can you take Jamie and get her safe? I have a safe room in the basement. It’s behind a stack of boxes labeled ‘Spam’. As long as you’re carrying her you can get in.”

“What are you going to do?” She asked, even as she crossed the length of the shop and picked up Jamie. The crib was out of the way, near the counter, but in a place where Jamie could see the whole shop and Tony could see her from everywhere. They were both kind of clingy - Jamie fussed or even outright sobbed if she had to be away from him and Tony always felt anxious.

“Protect my kid,” Tony said.

Esther watched him a moment, and Tony could see a question on the tip of her tongue, but then she nodded and went down into the basement.

Tony watched the AIM goons - eight of them, not enough to cause Iron Man any problems, but he wasn’t Iron Man right now, was he? - saunter down the street. That wasn’t the way AIM goons typically acted in New York. Then again, in New York there were dozens of superheroes to keep them in line. Out here there was a local cop and his nephew for the deputy, and the nephew only worked evenings and weekends because he was 18 and still going to high school.

The AIM goons took a look at the sign outside and came right in, one of them coming up to the counter while the others peered around at everything on the shelves. Mostly Tony stocked refurbished electronics or tools. He’d started teaching classes on minor electrical repairs around the home, and he kept supplies for that, too.

“We’ve heard things from this town, the ones around it, that say you’re the man to go to if we need anything electrical done. We’ve got a proposition for you,” The AIM goon in charge said, and Tony could hear the smugness in his voice.

“Did anybody ever tell you that those stupid suits make it sound like you’ve got a plastic bucket on your head?” Tony asked, pleasantly.

“What?” The goon looked from Tony to one of the other goons and back, “Do you even know who we are, out here in the middle of fucking nowhere?”

“Yeah, I do. I know you’re a bunch of second rate villains that can’t ever seem to get anything accomplished. You always get your asses handed to you by the good guys,” Tony grinned wide and a little feral, showing his teeth. The adrenaline was singing in his blood already.

The expression must have startled the goon, because he took a moment before responding, bravado in his tone. “I don’t see any of those heroes around here now. Nobody to stop us from wrecking your little shop.”

“Look harder,” Tony said, and let the armor slide out of his bones, golden under suit first and then the gleaming red and gold.

Damn. The shop would probably get wrecked now anyway, but at least he’d hand their asses to them, and then after they were hogtied and dropped off at the state sheriff’s department he could come back and clean up. Someone would be coming for him, though, now that he’d shown his hand, but hopefully he would be able to remain hidden for a little bit longer. Jamie deserved more of a normal life than he could give her in New York.

---

Steve heard about Iron Man’s return on the news. He’d turned it on as he cooked because he liked to watch the news sometimes just to see what was going on outside of their superhero drama, and then all of a sudden they were talking about Iron Man beating the daylights out of eight AIM goons in a tiny town in Wyoming. They played cell phone footage of the fight, and it was amazing. The last time Steve had seen Tony fight, he’d … they’d been on opposite sides. And he rarely ever got a chance to actually watch Tony in action. But when he did he was always astonished by how beautiful Iron Man was in the sky.

The phone rang, and Steve jumped to answer it, moving his food off the burners and hitting the answer button on his cell phone. “Rogers.”

“Hey, this is Jim Rhodes. You watching the news, Cap?” Steve didn’t bother correcting the nickname, though Bucky was Captain America now. Some people would just keep calling him Cap. It was probably just chance that Rhodey had been watching the news, too, but it was good to know someone else had been, that someone else had seen Iron Man.

“Yes. I saw Iron Man,” Steve said.

“God. At first I thought I was seeing things. Do you think it’s actually Tony?” Rhodey asked.

“I’ve never seen anyone else move like that in an armor. Not even you, and you’re a close second. I’m going out there, though. You want to come?” Steve hadn’t even realized he was so sure about going out there until he’d said it. Iron Man had always been there - either in person or no further away than a phone call - ever since he’d woken up from the ice. Until the war. And even then, it had apparently only taken Tony a trip to the hardware store and less than an hour to build something that would get in touch with Steve. The past year without him being there had been agonizing. And they probably would have spent a good deal of that time apart, thanks to the SHRA, but it was gone and people were resolving their differences. But that didn’t make the burn of betrayal any better. Steve loved Tony, but Tony had stood on a side of that conflict that Steve just couldn’t understand.

“I’ll do you one better,” Rhodey said, and though Steve didn’t know him as well as he’d like, he could hear the grin in his voice, “How about we go War Machine express?”

“Perfect.”

***

Steve changed into his uniform and called Sam as he waited for Rhodey.

“I had a feeling you’d be calling,” Sam said, instead of saying hello, “Saw the news, I take it?”

“Yeah, I did. Jim Rhodes called me up, and we’re going to go find Tony,” Steve said.

“Good. I’m glad you’ve got somebody going with you. War Machine is good. Got a good head on his shoulders. I trust him if you run into trouble,” Sam said approvingly.

Steve laughed. “You make it sound like I need a babysitter.”

“You and Tony Stark go anywhere together and you run into trouble. You’re like one of those TV show detectives that goes on vacation or gets on a plane and there’s suddenly a mystery or a murder,” Sam said, and Steve could just picture the expression on his face.

“Okay, yeah. Let everybody else know where I am, will you? And I’ll call you when we get back. Or if we run into trouble to let you know we’re okay,” Steve promised.

“Will do. And you’d better.”

Rhodey arrived shortly after Steve hung up. Even with Tony he’d never flown this far alongside a suit, and Rhodey had him strap on with a makeshift harness so that he wouldn’t fall off halfway through the flight.

About halfway in, both of them lost in their own thoughts, Rhodey asked, “How are we gonna find him?”

“I’ve been thinking about that. I think he has something he’s protecting there. What, I’m not sure, but something important. He’s probably got some kind of alias worked out and is settled there,” Steve said, grateful that their coms were made for this kind of use. A normal communication device would have been useless in this scenario, but the ones that Tony had designed for the Avengers were good in almost every situation. Including flying god only knew how fast without any protective gear outside of his uniform.

“Makes sense. If he’s normal and settled, that’s less weird than some loner off in the mountains who comes down once a month for coffee, wires, and maybe some food,” Rhodey said, “Between the two of us we should be able to figure out any alias he’s got set up. We know him better than anybody, except for Edwin Jarvis.”

“Exactly. We go to the town, figure out where it was hit, and go from there. Maybe even look in the phone book,” Steve nodded.

“You really think he’d have his name in the phone book, Cap?” Rhodey asked, sounding skeptical.

“If we can’t find him any other way, it can’t hurt to look there. He’s probably dyed his hair and either shaved or grown his beard out, so we’ll know him on sight but passing around a picture probably won’t help. Hell, if it’s a tightly knit enough town they’ll just close ranks if we did that anyway,” Steve pointed out.

“Small towns are like that, aren’t they?” Rhodey sighed, and after a moment he said, “I really don’t think it’s going to be that hard to find him. He tends to attract people. Loyalty. Have you ever talked to the people that work for him? Especially the ones that he actually knows.”

“Yeah, I have. It’s … he’s astounding,” Steve said, nodding.

They didn’t talk much for the rest of the trip, both falling into a contemplative silence. They landed some distance from the town and Rhodey stepped out of the War Machine armor. It closed up, and while Steve wasn’t sure it was a great idea to just leave it there, if Rhodey was willing to, Steve would. Rhodey was wearing casual clothing under the armor, so he would blend in well. Steve hadn’t brought a change of clothes, but fortunately this current uniform was discreet enough that if he zipped up his jacket he didn’t look out of place.

Heading into the town, it was clear that they were still cleaning up from Iron Man’s fight with the AIM cronies, and there was evidence of it all over, but none of it was very severe. Some damage to the roads, and a few cars with blown out windows, but none of the buildings had bad damage. Except one.

“Edward!! God, his shop!” A policeman in his thirties said, jogging over to a building that had the front windows blown out with significant damage to the inside. Electronics were scattered everywhere, and there was a crushed crib near a destroyed counter. “Does anybody know what happened to Edward? I haven’t seen him!”

“I was here when it started,” a woman in her seventies said and cast a suspicious glance at Steve and Rhodey. This town was small enough that they would know all of the residents on sight. “I was in the shop with him. He was fixing my toaster. The three of us hid in his basement until everything was over. But afterwards Jamie was inconsolable. He took her down to have the Doc take a look at her.”

“Good. We’re going to need him - everything is on the fritz. Those AIM people must have hit a power line or something.” The policeman said, nodding.

“Look at the sign,” Steve whispered to Rhodey. Above the blasted out window was still a sign, dark now. Carbonell Electronics.

“Carbonell? So … Edward Carbonell. That’s him,” Rhodey said, glancing around the shop. They were across the street from it, and Steve couldn’t see the inside in too much detail, but he had a feeling if they saw it standing and functional they’d both know even without the sign. Anyone who had spent any time with Tony in any work space he was able to make his own just knew where Tony worked.

“Carbonell is his mother’s maiden name,” Steve said, nodding. Tony had told him one night, late, after a hard battle. The adrenaline hadn’t yet worn off and they were both in that strange place where they were exhausted but too tired to sleep. They’d ended up in the library, talking about just anything that popped into their heads, and Tony had mentioned his mother.

“And Edward is his middle name,” Rhodey shook his head, “It’s an obvious alias.”

“Which might be why he picked it. It’s so obvious no one would think of it,” Steve said. It was a clever tactical move, if that was why he did it. Everyone would expect Tony to have an elaborate plan worked out, but moving to the middle of nowhere, setting up an electronics store, and using his mother’s name … it was simple enough that someone would discard it.

“Can I help you folks?” The policeman asked, coming over to them. There were a few townsfolk giving them a suspicious glare now. “As you can see, we’ve had some trouble recently, and we’re not in the mood for more.”

“That’s why we’re here. We heard about this on the news and wanted to come down and offer our help cleaning up,” Rhodey said, the lie slipping from his tongue smoothly. Steve was impressed.

The townsfolk exchanged looks, but after a moment the policeman nodded. “Fine. Our cleanup is being coordinated by the chief of the volunteer firefighters. You’ll find her two streets over.”

Being two big, strapping guys they were assigned to help move the few pieces of rubble that had been tossed up in the fight. That was mostly around the electronics store, which worked for them. They could easily keep watch for Tony that way.

“Store!” A young, clearly distressed voice cried out, and Steve ignored it. They’d been helping for a few hours now and he’d become used to hearing the voices of the people in the town.

“Yeah, sweetie, the store got kinda busted up. But we’re gonna fix it,” another voice, adult and male and so very familiar, said.

Rhodey and Steve both dropped what they were holding and spun around to see Tony, his beard shaved off and hair a strawberry blond, standing a few feet away from the electronics store. He’d come up to it from the opposite side than Rhodey and Steve were on, so they hadn’t seen him. Held in Tony’s arms, on his hip, was a baby and slung over his shoulder was a diaper bag. She was probably about two years old, with blonde hair and blue eyes.

Seeing Tony, even as disguised as he was - and Steve had no idea which was more strange, the color of his hair or the lack of his distinctive facial hair - brought so many complicated emotions to the forefront. Through the whole of the superhero war he’d longed to have Tony by his side, had known that if they were fighting together rather than against each other they would be able to defeat any enemy. And after he’d come back, he’d so often wanted to turn to him for advice or even just because he’d heard some joke or story Tony would like. He’d longed to find out what it was like to tell Tony he loved him, to do something about it.

But now that he saw Tony, he couldn’t help but remember how it felt to be inches away from driving his shield into Tony’s face, adrenaline and the red haze of battle fury driving him to finish the fight and only civilian responders stopping him. He saw Tony as he had through the bars of his cell, screaming at him, because even as they could bring out the best in each other they could also bring out the very worst.

“Tony!” Rhodey said, while Steve was still processing the sight. Not that Tony with kids was too weird - Steve knew Tony took the armor to visit sick kids sometimes, and he funded school programs in low income neighborhoods.

But this was different. This child was clinging to Tony, watching Rhodey and Steve with a little frown on her face, her body turned in a way that clearly indicated she expected Tony to protect her, no matter what. And rather than greet two of his best friends, Tony turned to her, obviously able to read her distress.

“Hey, Jamie, it’s okay. They’re friends. They aren’t here to hurt us,” Tony soothed, pressing a kiss to her forehead and rubbing her back with one hand, the other still supporting her.

There was something oddly familiar about that child’s face, Steve realized, but he had no idea where he knew those features from. They weren’t Tony’s, that was for sure.

“What is going on, man?” Rhodey asked, having hopped through the blasted out window to weave as direct a path as possible to Tony. Steve followed. Closer, he could read the expression on Tony’s face better. He had a calm mask on, but his eyes … his eyes were frantic. Scared, almost.

“The damage down here isn’t structural. Come on upstairs and I’ll explain,” Tony said, still rubbing soothing circles on the girl’s back.

---

Tony should have expected this. He should have known that Steve would be the one to come get him. After all, it always seemed to be him and Steve. And of course Rhodey was with him. Or was it the other way around? Was Rhodey fetching him and Steve was his backup? Either way, he wasn’t going to be able to stay. Silently, he led the way through the shop to the stairs in the back, going up to the living areas upstairs. “You hungry, Jamie? Need the potty?”

“Yeah, potty,” Jamie confirmed, nodding.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” Tony said to Steve and Rhodey. God, this was weird. “There’s juice in the fridge if you wanna fight the kid for it.” That managed to startle a laugh out of his friends.

Once he’d taken care of Jamie’s potty needs he came back out and got her some juice, handing her the sippy cup and letting her drink it herself. He sat on the couch, Steve on the other end of it and Rhodey in the armchair, and held Jamie in his lap. It probably spoke volumes to Steve and Rhodey, seeing him there with her held so protectively close, but he didn’t care.

“Jamie, baby? This is Steve and Rhodey,” Tony said. He pointed at them, and Rhodey gave her a little wave. Steve just stared. Damn. He looked as startled as if someone had run over him with a bus. Was the idea of Tony being a parent that weird to him? “Steve, Rhodey, this is Jamie. She’s … well, she’s mine. But it’s not a happy story. I want to wait until she’s asleep to tell you.”

“Then can we talk about what happened today?” Rhodey asked.

Tony looked down at Jamie, who seemed more content than she had been downstairs. He nodded. “I was working on repairing Esther’s toaster. Then I saw AIM coming down the street. I’d put in a panic room in the basement, so I had Esther take Jamie into the panic room - it’s coded to Jamie’s genetics and to mine - and I figured I’d handle AIM. They’d apparently heard that Edward Carbonell is fantastic with electronics and wanted to recruit me. I knew there wasn’t any good way out of it, so I decided to go with the one that would let me control as much of the outcome as possible.”

“You had to know we’d come. That someone would come,” Rhodey said.

“Yeah, I did. But I’ve been keeping track of things. I knew Steve was back. The tactical thing was to send heroes after me as soon as possible. Honestly I was expecting natural fliers, or a jet,” Tony shrugged.

“Of course you don’t take into account how much we missed you. God, for someone so smart you are so stupid,” Rhodey breathed, laughing a little.

Tony arched his eyebrows, glancing at Steve. Yeah, clearly they’d missed Tony. So much so that Steve hadn’t even said one word so far and all he did was stare at Tony in a really weird, intense way. Rhodey looked at Steve, too, and nudged him a little, frowning. Steve jerked, like he’d forgotten Rhodey was even there, and then looked at his own hands.

“Anyway, how’d things go on your end?” Tony asked.

“We saw you on the news. I called up Cap and we talked briefly about if we thought it was actually you. He said he was coming out here and I offered him a lift,” Rhodey said, shrugging.

Tony nodded and looked down at Jamie, who had started to drift a bit. She’d had an exciting day. He gently pulled the sippy cup, which was mostly empty, out of her hands and picked her up, cradling her in his arms as he carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in for a nap. When he went back to the living room, he left the door ajar so she could see the hallway light.

“Okay. So … first thing’s first. I rescued her from a lab in Jersey. She was a cloning project that AIM tried. Fortunately I got there before they’d managed to … produce anyone but her.” Tony said, sitting back on the couch and scooping one of Jamie’s toys off the floor. He fiddled with it a moment, unable to make himself say the next words.

“She’s made from my DNA, isn’t she?” Steve asked, looking up from his hands. “That’s why you did this. Hid with her, why you’re raising her and protecting her like this?”

“I found her. I rescued her, and I burned an AIM base to the ground to do it. And finding out you’re where her genes come from helped motivate me, but only at the start. She’s amazing. So curious about everything and so loving and I … she’s my daughter now. I love her so much,” Tony said, feeling a lump in his throat.

“We’re not saying you don’t,” Rhodey said, shooting Steve a look before continuing, “We just want to understand the logic behind what you did. Why you didn’t stay in New York.”

“Steve was still … he wasn’t back yet. AIM had created her, Red Skull had recently been using any and all connections he could get to Steve for something, but we didn’t know what yet. I had no idea if she was safe in New York. And I knew that the SHRA was going to collapse,” Tony said.

“What do you mean, you knew?!” Steve snapped, voice harsh.

“Not from the start,” Tony clarified, “But after … after you, I could tell that things were eventually going to collapse. And I had been the biggest supporter. There was a good chance that when it fell, I was going to fall, too. And she needed someone in her corner. Someone to look after her.”

“You,” Steve said, eyebrows arched.

“Fuck off,” Tony snapped, anger burning inside of him. “You have no idea what it was like, standing in the ruins of an AIM base with a baby in my arms, knowing that because genetically she was the last piece of you every two bit supervillain would want a piece of her. Taking her back to New York meant painting a target on her, meant people questioning me and my motives. After the Thor clone how soon do you think it would be before people started asking if I cloned her, and made up the stuff about AIM? Going underground would keep her safe for as long as possible.”

“God, Tony, I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” Steve said. He stood and headed towards the door, pausing right before leaving and saying, “For what it’s worth, you’re good with her, and she seems pretty happy with you.”

And with that, Steve left. Tony hoped he didn’t go far - after all, he’d gotten there with Rhodey. But they probably did need some space apart from each other.

“Give him some time. This is a lot to take in. We figured we’d find you. We didn’t think we’d find you here with a kid,” Rhodey said, shaking his head, “And especially not so protective over the kid.”

“And the last time we saw each other he was screaming at me,” Tony added, miserably.

“Good thing it didn’t get that bad this time. Wouldn’t want Jamie waking up,” Rhodey said, then he paused and a slow grin spread over his face. “Did you name her after me?”

“Yeah, I did.”

---

Steve was having trouble processing this. Tony had dropped everything to raise a child that was genetically Steve’s. He’d given up being Iron Man, given up his company, given up everything at the drop of a hat. For a child that Steve could already tell was going to be amazing. A child that he felt a strange kinship to - and of course that was where he’d seen those features before, though Jamie was plumper than Steve had been as a baby, masking them somewhat. He still couldn’t believe it had taken him so long to see it.

He headed down the stairs to the storefront and started cleaning up. He had no idea if Tony wanted to stay here or if he would want to go back to New York. So he may as well clean up just in case Tony wanted to stay. That would be useful. Helpful.

God, he couldn’t believe they’d ended up arguing. He longed for the days when they could have just extended a hand and laughed over a misunderstanding. It used to be so simple when they’d first started the Avengers. Even when Tony was still pretending Iron Man was his bodyguard - though, honestly, what use was a bodyguard when you were never actually seen in his presence?

When had things started to turn sour? To be honest, Steve couldn’t even pinpoint a particular time when things changed, but before he knew it they were clashing more and more. Which had been painful in and of itself, given the depth of his feelings for Tony. Even though he didn’t realize what that depth was until later, the pain had still been there when they’d clashed.

He didn’t know how long he was down there, setting things to right and moving broken things off to be picked through by Tony and sorting and doing whatever he could when he heard Tony’s voice. “Rhodey’s making dinner upstairs - one of his mom’s recipes. You should come up and join us.”

Steve set down the trinket he was examining - some kind of electronic children’s toy that he could tell Tony had built by hand - and turned to study Tony. He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, attempting to look casual but really just looking like he was approaching a wild animal he expected to bite him. Despite that, he looked good. The last time Steve had seen him without the armor on had been news footage of the aftermath of Steve’s death. Tony’s suits, usually impeccably tailored to a degree that Steve wondered if they were another kind of armor, had been limp on him. Now he’d filled out again, and had a healthy color to his cheeks.

“You know something funny? You have a  - how old is she, two? - a little kid that probably runs you ragged and yet you still look better rested than any of the times I saw you in the war or the months leading up to it,” Steve said, unable to resist voicing his thoughts.

Tony tensed, took a slow, deliberate breath, and then said, “You know why I looked so haggard even before Stamford? I knew what was coming. I’ve known for years that someday something would tear us apart, and we would end up split, jagged, down the middle. And then the Registration Act was dropped in my lap and I knew the next time someone fucked up, that would be it, the thing that tore us apart. I knew you’d be against it. I knew I’d be for it.”

“How long did you have it before-?” Steve started, but found he couldn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t want to talk about this here, now, in the ruins of an electronics shop Tony had used to hide from the world. But with Rhodey and Jamie upstairs, this was about as private as they’d get.

“Months,” Tony said, flat.

“Goddamn it, Tony!” Steve snapped, and Tony drew back slightly, eyes narrowing. “Why didn’t you tell anyone? In plain language.”

“Because it sounds ridiculous! If I told you before all of this, months before, that you and I were going to lead opposing sides on a war about legislation that our duly elected representatives voted in, what would you have said? If I told you that within the year you’d try to beat me to death with your shield?” Tony snapped, and Steve recoiled, feeling a churning in his gut so strong that it was like he’d been struck. There was wetness shining in Tony’s eyes.

“Did you have that figured out, too?” Steve asked, breathing hard.

“No. Not really. But there was a reason I always made sure in the fights against our sides that you and I fought. It’s bad tactics on my part - I had to close in to you to keep you engaged and you’ve taught me almost every close combat move I know. But I didn’t want you going all out on anyone but me,” Tony sighed and looked away, shaking his head. “It was manipulative but I knew the armor could protect me better than anything anyone else had, and I knew you better, could handle you better. And if you did go too far, then no one else would die because of me.”

Steve was shaking his head before Tony could finish. “You … Tony, you told me to ‘finish it’. You wanted me to kill you.”

“Would you have done it?” Tony pushed off the doorframe and took a few steps closer, carefully watching Steve.

“I-I don’t ... Tony, don’t ask me that. Please. Don’t ever ask me that again,” Now, Steve couldn’t imagine bringing the shield down the one final time it would have taken, with how compromised Tony’s armor had been. Then? Then was a different matter. He’d been so caught up in the passion of the fight that he had no idea what he would have done. The idea that he could have caused Tony’s death made him feel sick inside. “If I had, I don’t know how I could have lived with myself.”

“I’m sorry,” Tony said after a long moment. “Even considering what we’re discussing, that was a low blow.”

Steve nodded and sighed, deflating a little. Tony had much the same posture - the argument had deflated them both a little. After a long moment, not sure what else to say, Steve asked, “You said Rhodey is cooking?”

“Yeah. His mother’s recipe, which means good ‘put meat on your bones’ kind of food,” Tony said, grinning wide.

“Good. I could use a good meal after cleaning up your shop,” Steve grinned and followed Tony up the stairs to the living quarters.

---

Tony was still shaken up from the argument, but Steve had looked genuinely wrecked when Tony had all but accused him of wanting to kill Tony during the superhuman war. Maybe they could move past it together.

Rhodey watched Steve and Tony as they came in, but then went back to the food without commentary. Good. Tony wasn’t sure he’d know what to say if Rhodey had commented anyway.

Jamie was playing on the floor in the living room - in easy sight of both Rhodey and the cameras Tony had installed that he used to keep track of her through Extremis in lieu of a baby monitor. Of course he brought her with him whenever he went somewhere, but at night when he slept or if she took a nap while he was awake in another room, or he had to do something in the bathroom - anything that meant he’d be in a different room from her for more than about 5 seconds - he used the cameras. And he fully recognized that it was a little creepy, but he planned on disabling them once she got old enough to know not to get into trouble the minute he turned his back. If they still lived there.

Steve, surprising Tony, went over and sat down near Jamie, right there on the floor. She watched him curiously, then babbled at him a bit. At this age, her vocabulary was expanding by leaps and bounds.

“Wait, is that … Tony, are you teaching her Italian?” Steve asked, looking up at Tony.

“Sort of. It was an accident, to be honest. My mother used to sing me Italian lullabies when I was very little and Howard had been really bad that day. I still remembered the tune of a few of them and some of the words. So the first time I shaved the beard, she kinda freaked out. I think she didn’t recognize me right off. I tried everything to calm her and finally, I tried singing to her even though I couldn’t remember half the words. It did the trick. I looked up the other words and that was that,” Tony gave Steve a grin, sitting next to them and adding, sheepishly, “Besides, a lot of the baby books say that teaching children two languages when they’re young helps them when they’re older.”

Rhodey snorted a laugh. “How many baby books do you have?”

“Umm. Probably too many. And I cannot tell you how many websites I looked at,” Tony said, sitting on the couch near Jamie and Steve. “I still look at them a lot, just in case I missed something or if Jamie does something unexpected.”

“You’re hilarious, man. She’s a baby, of course she’s gonna do something unexpected,” Rhodey laughed.

As they were talking, Steve started playing with Jamie a little, smiling softly at her. It was a good look on him. Gentle and caring. She seemed to really enjoy his company, seemed to think he was a fun playmate.

Rhodey was giving him a look when he looked back over, and just shook his head. He’d always been able to tell when Tony was gone for someone. And Tony had been head over heels for Steve for years. It had come up on him slowly, through the years they’d worked together. One night in the manor, they’d been bickering over what to watch on TV, popcorn bowl between them, and he had thought about how much he loved Steve. Everything had fallen into place then.

And that was years ago, now, and so much had changed. But that didn’t. He still loved Steve, that hadn’t changed, but so much of the rest of it had.

Soon, Rhodey said that their food was ready and they sat down to eat. Rhodey had made them some kind of casserole. Tony put Jamie in her high chair and got her a little bowl of the casserole and a soft, plastic fork. He also put some cheerios on her tray, got her some juice, and let her have at.

“So you just let her at it?” Steve asked, nodding to Jamie.

“Yeah. She likes it, and letting her feed herself helps her coordination,” Tony nodded. “If she gets frustrated or doesn’t get enough food, I feed her myself.”

Steve nodded, and watched Jamie for a moment, like he wanted to make sure she was getting enough. Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“So what are you going to do?” Rhodey asked, and Tony gave him a confused look. “Are you staying here or are you coming back to New York with us?”

“I … wasn’t aware that I had a choice.” Tony said, carefully.

“Of course you have a choice. We’re not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” Steve said.

Tony glanced between them and considered it for a long time. He would like to stay, he thought that this would be a better place to raise Jamie than New York. But on the other hand, he missed his friends, missed Jarvis. He even missed being a superhero, though he probably wouldn’t do much of that even if he did go back. And now that he’d revealed himself, Steve and Rhodey were only the start of the people that would come unless it was made clear he was somewhere else.

“Regardless of where you end up, I’d like to be involved,” Steve said after Tony was quiet for a while, contemplating it, and Tony looked up at him, “I know she’s yours. I get that. But I still feel … I feel connected. So I’d like to be involved with her.”

“I wanna be her Uncle Rhodey,” Rhodey said with a grin.

“She would end up with a big superhero family wouldn’t she?” Tony smiled and looked over at Jamie.

“Papa, juice?” She asked, holding out her cup.

“I can get it. She likes the grape, right?” Steve stood and took the sippy cup, going over to the fridge and refilling it.

“Yeah, grape,” Tony nodded, sort of startled that Steve had noticed. It sent a pleasant warmth curling through him, especially as he watched Steve hand the cup back to Jamie and give her hair a ruffle. She beamed up at him and giggled a little, and that made up Tony’s mind for him. “Yeah, okay. We’ll come to New York with you. I’ll need to come back here and help them fix what happened, but for the most part I think it shouldn’t take much to get us back to New York.”

“Fantastic!” Rhodey said, grinning at him.

“I’m glad. Really glad,” Steve said, turning that gentle, caring smile he’d given Jamie onto Tony.

---

The apartment above the electronics shop was a two bedroom apartment, but one bedroom had been converted into Jamie’s room. So when it got late enough that the adults were heading to bed, it was one bedroom and the couch and armchair. Tony and Rhodey were both 6’1” and Steve was 6’2”. The armchair was out, and the couch wouldn’t be particularly comfortable, but Rhodey claimed it early.

“Couch is mine. You two can split the bed. I mean, I’ve heard about some of the stuff the Avengers have gotten up two with you two leading it. I’m sure sharing a bed for the night will be okay,” Rhodey said, a little smirk on his face.

“You and I have had some interesting experiences, too, might I remind you,” Tony said as he opened the closet and pulled out bedding for Rhodey, tossing the pillow at his face.

“Yeah, but I already called the couch,” Rhodey said, plumping the pillow up and laying down on the couch with it under his head. Tony tossed the blanket over, too, and then looked at Steve.

“I can take the armchair if you don’t want to share,” Tony said, his hand halfway to the pillows again.

“No. I don’t want to put you out,” Steve said. Lying next to Tony, being so close to him and loving him so much and knowing it wasn’t reciprocated, was going to be its own special kind of hell. “I’ll take the chair.”

“No, it’s fine. We can share the bed. Rhodey’s right, we’ve slept almost as close camping out in the Savage Land,” Tony grinned, and gestured. “Bedroom’s here.”

“Oh God, the Savage Land. I hate that place,” Steve laughed. He felt slightly self conscious as he stripped out of his uniform, leaving him in only his boxers and an undershirt, but Tony didn’t seem to care at all. Tony kept on the t-shirt he had been wearing and was wearing red boxers, which reminded Steve of that goddamned thong that Tony had been wearing in the fight against Molecule Man, and he laughed.

“What?” Tony glanced down at himself, frowning.

“Red. You’re wearing red boxers. The last time I saw you in red underwear it was a thong and we were fighting Molecule Man,” Steve said, still laughing.

“You remember the color underwear I was wearing?” Tony sat in bed and stared at Steve, though he looked amused.

“How could I not! I mean … Tony, you were wearing a red thong. It didn’t leave much to the imagination. Though Don’s coat covered you a little bit more, it still left plenty uncovered,” Steve had finally stopped laughing, and watched Tony with a little smile.

“I hadn’t been aware you were looking,” Tony said, his voice dropping a little as he leaned forward just a bit, and Steve felt his face heat. Tony pulled back and backtracked immediately, “Sorry, that’s inappropriate, I don’t know-”

“Tony, hush. Stop overthinking,” Steve reached out and took his hand. “I was looking, yeah. You’re a really attractive man, Tony. Smart and strong and heroic. And now we can add good father to that list.”

Tony looked slightly awestruck, and looked down at their hands then back up at Steve. “Are you into men in general, or is it just me?”

“Some men. Not very many, but it’s not just you, no,” Steve smiled a little.

“Are you and Sharon on or off right now?” Tony asked, and Steve thought he looked a little nervous.

“Off. We got back together right after I came back, and things were good for a while, but we ended up breaking it off again. She needed some time to herself, away from me, after everything that happened. We also said that we didn’t want to make each other wait. Because that sort of defeats the purpose of breaking it off for a little while,” Steve explained, squeezing Tony’s hand. For all that Tony looked nervous, Steve felt very calm. Tony’s questions made him seem like he was interested, but he hadn’t actually said anything yet. “But you have to tell me what you want, too.”

“I want to be with you. I’ve wanted it for years. I remember thinking about it back when the manor was still standing,” Tony said, “I never thought it would happen, so I never said anything. Our friendship has always been too important to me and I didn’t want to risk it.”

“We’ve been through a lot together. I think that we could handle it. Even if it doesn’t work out, I think we could stay friends. After all, we’ve already lived together before and know each other’s annoying habits,” Steve said, trying to tease a little bit. Tony laughed and ducked his head slightly.

“You know Jamie is going to be my first priority, right?” Tony asked after a moment, looking back up at him.

“Of course. She’s your daughter,” Steve said, and didn’t add that he hoped that someday she’d be their daughter. It was too soon for that. “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

“Okay. Okay, good,” Tony said, smiling.

They sat there for a moment, quietly, then Steve laughed a little, feeling awkward and self conscious. “I guess we’re pretty much done talking for now. You ready for bed?”

“Yeah,” Tony nodded and turned off the lights, then they settled down under the covers, and awkwardly positioned themselves, far closer than they might have otherwise.

After a while, unable to get to sleep because there was something still nagging him about their conversation earlier, Steve asked, quietly, “Tony? Are you still awake?”

“Yeah. What’s up?” Tony opened an eye and peeked up at Steve.

“I … I don’t want to end up arguing about it again, but I’ve gotta know. Why did you side with registration. And don’t tell me it was because it was the right thing to do, not if you knew it was going to cause a war between the heroes,” Steve asked, quietly.

“Okay. Imagine I had sided with you. A lot of people on the side of registration would have gone with me. Who else would have led the side of registration? Yeah, there may have been a hero or two willing to do it, but I don’t know that the government would have been willing to put their faith in them. So they would have looked somewhere else for a leader, someone willing to go much further to enforce it than I ever was. A version of Project Wideawake was always an option on the table to force our compliance, and they may have actually enacted it. Can you imagine it?” Tony asked, watching Steve, “The sheer amount of devastation that would have been caused, both amongst the heroes and amongst the public. Hundreds more people, thousands more, would have died. The public would have never trusted us again.”

Steve was quiet for a long moment, and then he eventually said, “I’m not sorry I was against registration. You’re never going to get me to change my mind about that, I don’t think. But I am sorry I didn’t listen when you tried to talk to me about it.”

Tony pressed his face against Steve’s shoulder, and to Steve’s surprise he started to feel moisture. Was Tony crying? “I should have tried harder to get you to listen. I should have changed something. Done something better. Because it wasn’t worth it in the end. Even though you’re back, it still wasn’t worth it.”

It took a moment, but Steve remembered exactly what he’d screamed at Tony through the bars of his cell, furious at him. And now, given time and the ability to distance himself from it, he realized how little Tony had spoken to him during that exchange. How much Steve had spoken. He had no idea what Tony’s purpose had been when he’d come there. Had he meant to come try one more time to reason with Steve? Would he have told Steve everything he told him tonight, if Steve hadn’t been so interested in being angry?

“It’s okay, Tony. We’re okay,” Steve said, pulling Tony a little closer and pressing a kiss to his temple. And it would be okay. They would learn from their mistakes, would communicate better with each other in the future. If something like the SHRA happened again, they would be able to take it on together.

 

Notes:

Edit October 19 2016 - I was looking over this today and noticed an entire half sentence that has apparently been out of place since the fic was posted. Normally I don't go in and fix errors like that after the fact but that one was so huge. Ugh.