Work Text:
I hate IvnTill.
The hands around his neck tighten, there’s no way way Till can escape Ivan’s angry gaze and unforgiving hands.
If Mizi would never save him, who but himself is going to?
As if reading his thoughts, the hands tighten even more.
This time Till looks into the man before him, his eyes angry and those beautiful reds staring into his greens.
Ivan’s eyes resembled those red flowers in Anakt garden, they were always surrounded by the filthy “dark” place, never being able to be an actual flower. Yet they still try to survive, even if they will never be seen ( other than something to make the kids look at the Garden as if it was “home” ). Those flowers were always perfect, just likehow Ivan is.
They “bloom” red, like blood.
Till closes his eyes, accepting defeat.
It was not like he wanted to win in the first place, especially not when his reason to win is long gone fom his gaze.
Not expecting it, Till feels the hands loosen they’re grip. Then, in replaced what felt like jaws around his throat.
They bite hard enough that blood soon dripped from his neck.
Till opens his eyes staring with shock at an Ivan who was only looking back in his eyes. Staring at them as if he can find answers to a question Till does not even know.
“Tell me you really want this. Tell me Till, then I will do it. Everything, anything, I will do it for you Till.”
In Till’s mind, he screams that he has no idea what Ivan is saying, has no idea what he wants from a person like him. He’s just tired and sick over everything in his life, couldn’t he just die in peace?
But Till’s heart knows what Ivan is referring to. Of course he does, they have been together since young, they’re different yet the same.
“Yes, do it Ivan…” He mutters, tears threatening to fall.
Ivan does not even looked shocked, he only smiles back at Till with that same bittersweet smile he gave when Till first ran away from him.
A smile that haunts his dreams till this day. No, he did not want to actually hurt Ivan, he just knew he was bound to run back to Mizi whether he liked it or not.
His life is Mizi’s, when Mizi is gone, so does he.
So why, why does Ivan look at him, now suffocating him once again, with beautiful eyes that seem to be carrying the weight of everyone’s anguish and pain.
Why does he look at Till as if…
As if he is his own light?
What does Ivan want—
The hands tighten, Till unconsciously lets out a breathless laugh.
Ah, was he so blind to not realize the way Ivan always gazed back at him?
“I love you, Till,” the man before him utters.
Till is an idiot.
He claws on the hands gripping onto him now.
NO ! NO ! IVAN LET GO ! I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ! NO ! IVAN STOP !—
His mind thinks, this time there is genuine fear in Till’s eyes.
“Sorry, I’d rather you not say anything about this. Just know, I love you Till,”
Another kiss then shared.
Till does not fight anymore, not only because he couldnt breathe that much anymore but because there was no point to.
Not when Ivan swears with his own eyes that he will be with Till until his last breathe.
Is this how love is supposed to feel?
Till no longer knows,
in truth, its more like he no longer wants to know.
The hands tighten till his eyes roll to the back of his head, and when Ivan knew Till was finally at death’s door. He lets go and gently lies Till to the wet ground.
His voice chords are broken, his limbs can no longer move, the blood around his neck feel contrastingly warm compared to the cold rain unforgivingly raining on the both of them.
Till looks up to Ivan who was staring down at him.
A genuine big smile appearing at his face.
His fang showing.
His eyes crinkling up in joy.
The light in his eyes now evident.
Yet, eventhough with such a happy expression that splays on his face so openly, Ivan was still crying.
It was obvious tears, there was no way Till could not tell.
A gun shot was heard throughout the whole venue.
Ah, it shot through Ivan in his own abdomen.
Thud.
Ivan’s body fell beside Till’s.
Tears are still flowing down from Ivan’s eyes.
However, he still looks so divine and angelic.
Unwittingly the tears that threatened to fall from Till’s eyes now freely flow down his face as well. The face beside him is warm, with a genuine smile. Eyes still sparkling.
Ivan coughs out blood before declaring his love to the poor crying boy in front of him.
“I love you Till, thank you for all you do for me, burning me with your light…was the best thing I get to suffer with by standing by your side…Maybe in the next life, I can finally leave you alone without feeling guilt.”
Till no longer knows what to do, with the little strength he has, he hugs Ivan’s face in his chest.
He asks a question he never wished was needed to be asked.
“Ivan, tell me what you want? I will listen to it.” But his voice cannot be deciphered and trembled, he does not want to see the crying face of Ivan anymore.
Ivan coughs out another pool of blood.
“Till, I have no guilts in this world…The only guilt I have…is that I could never make you fall in love…aha, seems like sleep…is catching up to me, good night to you too soon…Till. Goodbye, have only sweet dreams, Till, my only love…”
And that’s when Till feels the body in his arms turn cold, the heart that was beating so strongly, slowing down.
Till cries, his voice broken while blood spills down his neck.
He hugs the man in his arm tighter, till his final breathe.
Till does not know exactly why, but he was only ever to feel blissful and in peace when the last thing he heard before he closed his eyes permanently to an eternal slumber was Ivan’s heartbeat against his, Ivan shifting so they would be heart to heart.
The soft patting on his head did not feel disgusting either, nor did the cold dying body clinging onto him.
When he closes his eyes, the person that waits beside him in a field of beautiful blooming red flowers, is Ivan. Mizi no longer unreachable, but Ivan still is.
“I am with you till your dying breathe as I promised, Till.” Ivan smiles brightly at Till, eyes glowing and fangs showing.
Till runs again, this time to Ivan’s arms as if he was meant to be there. No, he really was. In the warm embrace of someone that loves him, Ivan.
Till smiles for once in a long time, in the arms of Ivan.