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Kyouka had never formally met Denki Kaminari, but she does know who he is. He was that really cute, really drunk dude she found in her bathtub freshman year. Yue had hooked up with him and he (idiotically) never left. She’d had to give him Ban’s old clothes to go home in because his were soaked by the time he’d actually reacted and had called him a cab only to shove him in and make him leave. At that point, he’d started making Yue nervous.
But Kyouka wasn’t blind. Dude was cute. Kudos, Yue.
She tries not to make eye contact when he shows up in the cafeteria, because if anything he’s gotten more attractive. And that’s super unhelpful. It turns out that Mina is close enough to him to introduce the two, so Kyouka bites her tongue before retorting that ‘oh yes she knows him.’ She won’t bring it up for his sake. Plus, it didn’t matter how hot Denki Kaminari is, the priority was to ensure that Bakugou knew the set list. Even if he did disrespect the papers.
Should she say something? They met literally two days ago and now they’re in the same class. He’d been kind of strange when they met — spaced out and distracted. But he’d been polite, asked about her major. And why are his biceps so pronounced?!
She internally debates approaching, rocking between her heels and the balls of her feet. Her fingers are twitching, robotically playing invisible piano keys, as she does when she’s anxious.
She decides, fine, she’ll say something. After all, he’s friends with Mina. She doesn’t want it to be even more awkward if he spots her and they just stare at each other from across the room.
She grows immediately annoyed when he’s able to tease her into a corner.
Ugh, men.
So, why does she agree to studying with him?
Because she hates being lonely in the library, and she can’t study at home. Not like Momo can.
She tries not to stare at him from where she sits, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, propped up on an elbow. She swings the pencil between her fingers, twirling and poking and dancing, not entirely sure what she’s looking at.
He’s a jock, for sure.
He’s tall, broad and intimidating. Muscles for days and a grin that makes her weak in the knees. He handed her a pencil once and she felt the callouses littered across his palm, reminding her that she’s a shrimp in his presence. She tries not to look, but his ass won’t quit, and his thighs could crush her like a bug, and she hasn’t had sex with anyone in months, as evident in how heavily she’s breathing as she sits beside him.
She’s always had a secret thing for jocks — even though she’s never thought to… try one out.
Someone needs to get ahold of their vibrator tonight.
She decides that looks aside, she does like him. He makes her laugh and has an easygoing presence that makes her feel comfortable and welcomed. He’s nice to look at, but she had a meeting with her common sense, and she knows that there’s a reason she hasn’t dated since him. Relationships were a no-go.
Not that he’d ever be interested in her, anyway.
Mina has to drag Momo and Kyouka to the party, even when Momo whined about needing to complete some dumb lab report. She was only convinced when Mina mentioned that they were going to a hockey team party. And they all knew about Momo’s not-so-secret fondness for Shoto Todoroki.
When Mina asks Momo why she doesn’t just ask Kaminari about getting a read on Todoroki, Kyouka (finally) pieces together that Kaminari is Momo’s friend from childhood. Speak of the devil. He’s asking them if they’re okay and Momo looks suspicious for some reason. To be fair, he is touching her now, after having placed his hand on her shoulder, but it’s hardly worth a second look. Kyouka assumes it’s because she’s not used to seeing her best friend and childhood friend being friendly at all.
Kyouka notes he doesn’t stop bouncing around, which is hella distracting when you’re six feet tall and handsome as all hell.
Momo tries to explain their relationship, as if Kyouka doesn’t already know, and Kyouka realizes it’s because Momo’s visibly uncomfortable when she spots Todoroki across the room. Kyouka believes that a distraction is necessary to ease her worries.
So, she plans on telling Momo how she first met Kaminari.
“That’s not the only way I know him. You won’t believe it, but Sparky here and I met one fateful night during the first month of freshman year.”
He scoffs at her, replying, quick as lightning, “That can’t be true. I’d never forget a face like yours.” He winks at her, but she doesn’t falter. Oh, this is going to be so good.
“Kaminari, please stop hitting on my friends. This is why you don’t meet many of them.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Yaomomo. He’ll probably never want to see my face again after I tell this story.”
“Wait, then don’t tell it —” he starts, but Momo slaps her hand on his mouth.
For a moment, she debates if she should tell this story. He does look a little panicked, but he also looks curious. Ah well, Mina dared her to; how could she resist a good dare?
Momo continues to hold Kaminari’s mouth shut to allow Kyouka to tell the story. She does feel a bit guilty at how Kaminari’s eyes are pleading with her to ‘oh god, please stop’. But she was going to bring it up at some point anyway. Might as well do it now. They’re all friends, now, right?
Mina and Momo are dying before she even gets to finish regaling the tale. He looks like he doesn’t exactly remember what she’s talking about, to be honest. He’s blushing, but he looks like he’s racking his own brain for her memory.
“So, yeah, Kaminari,” Kyouka grins at him. “We’ve met.”
“I can’t believe that’s your first impression of me.” He is watching her warily, though a hint of a smile plays at his lips.
“I can’t believe you don’t remember me. I was the one that pulled you out of the tub and gave you my ex’s clothes to go home in. Shoved you into an uber and never saw you again!” She pauses and smiles. “Well, until now.”
He nearly immediately disappears after begging Momo not to tell his sister, and after Momo is cut off from explaining his childhood nickname. It’s then that she is reintroduced to Kirishima and Sero, Kaminari’s roommates, the former being Bakugou’s boyfriend. She likes Kirishima the best, he’s all bubbles and happiness and he brings out the best in his quiet counterpart.
She’s surprised when they lead her to Kaminari’s bedroom, where he sits with his head in his hands, groaning when he sees the group burst into his bedroom. His roommates are playful with him, teasing him about said freshman year escapades, thanking her profusely for the new material. He looks unbelievably disappointed, and she feels the familiar sting of guilt.
“I’ve learned so much tonight, Jirou,” Kirishima grins at her, bowing with gratitude.
“What! How do you know each other?”
“She’s in Katsuki’s band. Wait, you don’t know her? You guys haven’t met til now?”
“No, not since that one fateful, super exciting first time,” she pouts. She’s already flush with him, fingers playfully crawling up his unfairly defined shoulder before poking him in the cheek. “Come on, Sparky, why don’t you remember me?”
Well, probably because she wasn’t the girl he had hooked up with. Was definitely not on his radar.
“Oh, Kyouka, stop teasing him!” Mina yanks Kyouka up by the waist. “Kaminari can’t handle your teasing mind games.”
She watches him offer his roommates alcohol in exchange for leaving him alone. They grab it, sprinting out of the room in giggles. But Kyouka stays behind, plopping down beside him. He jumps, and she can’t help but laugh.
“There’s nothing wrong with crazy stories, Sparky.”
He grunts.
“Oh, Sparky, you’ve got to relax. Maybe one of these days I’ll tell you one of mine.”
He looks horrified. She winces. She feels nervous, like she’s offended him, and it makes her feel worse. She twitches, leaping to her feet and grabbing him by the arm. But she forgets she’s a weakling and hurts herself trying to pull him to a stand.
“I’m not like that anymore,” he mutters.
Is that what this is about?
Being embarrassed about something that is laughably over and done with?
Aw. He’s precious.
“It was forever ago! Who cares! No one is judging you.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Of course not. Why would I?” She’s incredulous. Why does he care so much? He’s a popular dude who’s had lots of fun in his life. Why does he look so pathetic right now? She tries not to whine, “You’re fine, dude. Come hang out with me.”
He probably doesn’t want to.
“You’re cool, you’re funny; you’re clearly a good person.”
She feels so bad, she barely knows him, and she’s embarrassed him. How does he not hate her?!
“I think I can overlook your checkered past if you share your alcohol.”
What in the fuck is wrong with her? This is why no one likes her!
“How are you making me bribe you?”
“So it’s working?”
She’s relieved to see that he’s smiling. Oh, thank god.
She’s not entirely sure why she cares so much, but she’s pleased to know he’s alright. She needs him to forgive her. She’s ruined his whole night. She wants him to like her; for them to become friends.
Right?
Her friends begin to tease her about her newfound and growing friendship with Kaminari. They make jokes about how he’s the living incarnation of a sun spirit and golden retriever while she’s April Ludgate and Wednesday Addams in a petite, violet package.
They don’t necessarily sting, but she doesn’t know how to feel about them. It implies there’s something more between them and though it’s harmless joking, she’s confused why she feels… off about it.
Ugh.
It hits her.
She’d grown fond of Kaminari. A little too fond, she now freely admits. She wishes that she’d been able to deny it for a little longer, but it quickly became too difficult, too obvious, to ignore. Such feelings haunted her in everything she did with him — hovering in the background of their conversations, hinted in the subtext of their messages, reading between the lines of her newest love songs.
She had a Huge Fucking Crush on him.
And it had only taken, what? A month or so of knowing him?
God, so typical.
She hated it, really, because she’d always liked the brooding, artistic, emotional ones, nearly skinnier than she, frail in their own ways, and very much her speed. It was always easy to handle those guys; they were all the same. Stroke their ego and pretend like the dick was good. Those relationships always ended the same way, too. She always grew bored. Predictability was something she’d search for when she was older.
Her most recent ex, notwithstanding.
He had sucked on a whole different level.
She never denied herself how fit she found Kaminari. She’d known he was attractive; what with his broad, muscular frame, towering height and protective instincts. She didn’t mind when she saw him sweaty, because she found it unbelievably hot when he sweated out the toxins of a hangover. She started going to the gym with him just so she could watch it transpire.
It felt like a bad romantic comedy, she, a stereotypical schoolgirl, with a crush on an unattainable popular jock, the divides of society keeping them apart. Keeping him from noticing her. She was a background character in the game of life. She wasn’t meant to stand out. Not like him.
Sometimes she didn’t even know how she made it onstage.
Sure, he was hot, but he was also kind.
She liked how lighthearted his outlooks were, how easygoing and goofy he could be. She was notorious for disappearing into her own head when things got rough, but Kaminari never let her go too far. He reminded her what being alive truly felt like, how uncomfortable, but worthwhile life could be, and how much she would miss if she weren’t present.
And despite her reservations of all things new, he made her feel safe.
She was surprised how easy it was to discount their origin bathtub story. Sometimes she’d get irrationally jealous that Yue landed him at all. Yue didn’t even attend their school anymore.
She tried really hard to ignore those particular feelings.
That was, until her classmate expressed interest in him, because of fucking course she would.
She was a gorgeous nursing student, sweet as could be, intelligent and thoughtful. She had been an athlete in high school and her body reflected that. In short, she was absolutely his type. Meanwhile, Kyouka’s body was soft and could lift her guitar and approximately nothing else. She was potentially exaggerating, but she knows her limitations! And they were limited!
She knew she had zero claim to him, so she was hyperaware of stopping thoughts of jealousy or overreacting when someone appreciated him in front of her. She, of all people, knew what a damn catch he was. She couldn’t blame others for wanting him, too.
But when she introduced Kida and Kaminari that day in the courtyard and she realized that she’d wanted to rip Kida’s eyes out of her skull, she knew it was time for something to change.
Either she needed to act on these feelings, or she needed to get over herself.
She couldn’t stop recalling the way Kida’s eyes lingered on his, the way she shifted her weight and lowered her lids and looked flirty. Kaminari had smiled, and Kyouka realized, with a startling jolt, that she didn’t want to see the depths of that smile if it wasn’t for her.
She remembered the way her heart raced, and her breath shortened. Her jealousy rose at an alarming rate, heating her cheeks and flaring her temper. She remembers being ashamed of herself.
She even remembers repeating to herself, it’s not even that big a deal, as she tried to collect herself enough to act fucking normal. Her energy was unsteady and unpredictable; she either wanted to run a half marathon or sleep for days. At some point, she’d been able to stand, absently brushing the dirt from her butt, feeling crumbles sneaking beneath the fabric of her shorts and wishing they hadn’t been so short in the first place because next to curvy Kida, why was she even trying —
“Wait, Ji?”
Turn around, Kyouka. Turn the hell around. Look at his handsome ass face and try not to swoon. Or glare because you suddenly hate him for not liking you.
“We still meeting up later to study?”
Wait, did they have plans? When did they make these plans? Must have slipped her mind. She can’t back out! She can’t handle the puppy pout he uses when he doesn’t get his way! Especially now that it gives her actual heart palpitations!
“Sure! Text me?”
Well, maybe next time she’ll be a bit less crazy.
Kyouka enjoyed him as a friend, first and foremost. Kaminari was a smart cookie, but totally oblivious. All of her flirtations were brushing off to just be part of her personality. But anyone that knew her at all, like Momo or Mina, had immediate, shocked reactions when they noticed.
She tried to keep flirting with the bartender from the bar she performed at, the barista at the coffee shop she frequented the most, and every once in a while, she’d go to the music department and flirt with some edgy rando.
It hadn’t mattered until Kida reintroduced herself to Kaminari.
Her eyes won’t stop shifting toward him. He’s too far away from her. She wants to figure out a way to get close. Especially now that Kida has approached and they’re giving each other fuck-me eyes and Kyouka’s breath catches harshly in her throat —
She’d been fine when he was leaning down to whisper in her ear. She’d even been fine when he flexed his biceps and winked at her. She’d been fine when she touched his forearm and giggled like a schoolgirl. But when they were visibly leaning toward one and another, their bodies so close there was no room left for Jesus, she leapt forward shamelessly.
It had been so sudden and so impulsive; she had no further plan other than interrupt with a shrill declaration of his name. She was pretty proud of herself when she sputtered something out, and she was lucky as hell that Kida was so good natured. Plus, she thinks it makes it seem like she’s drunker than she is, and at this point, she’s willing to let him believe anything.
She continues to hang out with him until Tsu signals that she’s going to give her birthday speech. She moves to stand near Ochako and Yaomomo, making jokes about how Tokoyami is standing behind Tsu like a security guard. Mina and Kirishima have joined Kaminari now, and she’s suddenly curious when Mina grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him. His horrified gaze flicks to hers momentarily and she’s ready to cross the room to see what’s up when Tsu finally stands up on the chair to speak.
When she sees Midoriya and Ochako embrace, her heart flutters and her chest tightens. She suddenly finds herself wishing she wasn’t alone: single and pathetic. Pining over some guy that she had to steal attention from. She knows, now, how much she likes him. She knows, now, how fucked she is.
Her once guarded heart now aches for someone else; someone that would likely never see her in that light. She begins gulping whatever she’s holding, because whatever she’s doing, she needs to be drunker for. Where is that famous cynicism of hers?
Oh, never mind, right here, getting herself into a conversation she shouldn’t be participating in!
“You into that ooey-gooey shit, huh, Sparky?”
He looks so offended that she can’t help but giggle at the irony. After all, she’s the one pretending like she didn’t fall head over heels for him in record time.
Kyouka lies in bed, flabbergasted.
She thinks back to the conversation she had with Kaminari the night prior. She tries not to swoon.
He’s not just brawns and muscle. He’s fucking romantic.
He is literally everything she’d ever wanted in a partner.
He was different enough to keep her on her toes, and in the same breath understood her so well she didn’t have to finish her own thoughts.
Her ex did a number on her. She knows that everyone says that — but she also knows that she invested too much, much too young. She swore she wouldn’t fall so easily for anyone again.
But of course, as soon as she stopped looking, he fell right into her lap.
He said beautiful things like preferring to see the silver linings than the dark clouds. He believed in love, even without knowing what it felt like. Believed that no matter what the outcome, that it was worth the pain; worth the efforts. He was a fucking fairy tale incarnate, and usually Kyouka would roll her eyes and tell him the truths of what it happens when you’re supposedly in love — how you ignore the guilt trips, the gaslighting, the cheating, the suffocating ultimatums — because you’re supposed to suffer for love.
Or that’s what they’d been told.
But his innocence and optimistic perspective was so warm and inviting. She wondered what it felt like to be that happy and confident in something so blindly and optimistically. Was it beautiful? Was it truly worth the pain?
What kind of pain was acceptable for love?
Because what she’d gone through with Banto was decidedly Not Worth It.
With Kaminari, though… It could be.
And they weren’t even dating!
He shrugs, lazily. “I’m just saying. I prefer to see the silver linings than the dark clouds.”
“I can understand that. But with said dark clouds, you pretty much know what you’re getting.”
“Except for when they finally do pass, because they always do, the sun shines through with a rainbow that tells you the storm is over.”
When she looks at his handsome face, she sees warmth. He radiates something akin to home, and she’s all in. She is curious to what he’s like romantically if he’s this incredible as her friend. He’s sweet, thoughtful, charismatic, simultaneously spontaneous and predictable. She doesn’t even realize when her hand lightly cups his cheek, or how her fingers begin stroking his cheekbones. She only realizes that she’s leaning in when his golden eyes widen, so she quickly ruffles his fringe, awkwardly patting his cheek before pulling away.
" You’re something else, Sparky,” she laughs. “I hardly know what we’re talking about anymore.”
More like, she doesn’t want to be rejected while he looks this beautiful and speaks this poetically.
She wants to memorize this moment, especially since she doesn’t know if she’ll get this opportunity again.
But she does resolve, however, that she’s going to try.
She was literally falling in love with the very guy she’d never predicted herself loving.
She’d had multiple epiphanies about how deeply she adored him, but sometimes it grabbed her by the throat and choked her until she was milliseconds from passing out, only to throw her right back into his unassuming arms.
It had been nice for Momo to invite her home. She’d been excited to go someplace new, even if it wasn’t too far. She’d forgotten how close Momo and Kamnari were. Their friend group had monthly movie nights over the internet! How could she have forgotten that going home to Momo’s luxurious mansion was likely going to include the guy she needed a breather from?
She was excited to see him, a bit giddy, in fact. She blushes a bit after she realizes that she practically threw herself at him for a hug in greeting. Someone calls him Pikachu and her mind stumbles over the connections and memories and —
“Pikachu?”
Kaminari is trying desperately to hide whatever story comes along with his childhood nickname. She thinks it’s really cute, because how serendipitous is it that she calls him Sparky for completely unrelated reasons? How connected and fit for each other could they possibly be? She was practically gleeful with this kind of victory, because it makes her feel closer to Kaminari. She likes being close with him.
Momo catches on fairly quickly. She’d caught Kyouka sighing like a lovesick fool when she’d seen him at the gym one day. It was all too obvious from the flush on her face and the high-pitched denial that Momo hadn’t asked for.
It absolutely thrilled her to be able to get sweet, sweet revenge on her friend and roommate. It also thrilled her that she was able to share in that revelation with Kaminari.
And the rest of that day? Well, aside from her being thoroughly impressed with his fabulous display of prime health and perfection, she spent the whole day practically curled up in his bed, inhaling his scent and laughing at his jokes. She’d never been so glad to be sexiled by Kirishima and Bakugou. Her heart had swelled ten times, filling to the top with adoration and admiration. She tries hard not to think about how attractive he is and well-endow — dammit Kyouka, stop perving!
It’s almost shocking, really, how quickly she devolves into her high-school giddiness when something works out in her favor. Kaminari is coming to one of her shows for the first time and she’s pacing backstage instead of drinking tea and relaxing. The nerves never really disappear, but she’s built up a good routine. She doesn’t like to talk to people before the show; doesn’t like socializing until after she’s fully drained of anxiety and stage fright. Once it’s replaced with the high of performance, does she feel worthy enough to show her face. But today?
Today she’s actually, truly nervous.
She wants to impress him so badly. She wants to show him that she’s talented and amazing and encourage him to like her back. It’s an itch she can’t scratch, and she wants so much to talk to him and see what frame of mind he’s in —
Her phone vibrates.
It’s him.
Her heart soars.
Break a leg tonight!
He’s so fucking sweet she melts into the ratty couch of the green room and blatantly ignores Shinsou’s teasing when he asks why she’s halfway to the ground.
And as if she needed more reasons to like Kaminari, Banto showed up to one of Tokoyami and Shinsou’s parties and cornered her in the kitchen, and Kaminari literally came to her rescue. Banto had shot her all the normal shit, and she had to actually bite her tongue to stop herself from screaming. She was so angry, so pissed off that Banto wanted to do this now, of all places and of all times.
She almost screams that she’s already moved on, just to get him off her case, but she’s not yet ready to confess to Kaminari, so she just reinforces that she wants him to leave her alone. When Kaminari steps between them and pulls her behind him protectively, she nearly had to change her panties. They laugh and joke around for a bit, but there’s a moment of silence that overwhelms her. She’s thinking too much, much too fast; her brain is outpacing her heart.
“Don’t you have better things to do than hang out with me?”
“What? Come on, you’re my dream girl! This is best case scenario!” She knows he’s joking but her heart skips a beat anyway.
Suddenly morose, she adds, “You don’t have some poor, pretty soul waiting for you somewhere?”
“Oh fuck! I do!” Her head begins to spin and her heart has fallen to her feet, she’s pretty sure. When he points to Kida, she whistles instead of sobbing.
She tries to convince him to go back to Kida in the end, her heart breaking as she says so. And when he tells her that he’s got friend duties to attend to? She’s only semi satisfied by this, as it’s not exactly what she wants to hear, but she’s still pleased she gets to spend more time with him.
She wants to believe it’s because he likes her as much as she likes him. She wants to believe that he’s got a crush on her back, but she knows she must be realistic. He’s a good person and a better friend. He was just taking care of her the way he would any other friend.
Right?
Right.
She’s not his type.
But she does feel like something shifted that night, in a direction that makes her hopeful when she thinks about it. She feels closer to him somehow, and she really, really likes it. She doesn’t want to confuse it with anything more than friendship, but it… does make her optimistic.
Her usual shyness disappears as the beers refill. She finds herself growing more confident and unabashed, inching closer under the guise that she simply couldn’t hear him over the growing raucousness of the party. Disregarding completely that she could hear him just fine. She catches herself full-bodied laughing as he drops terrible dad jokes, even snorting once. It didn’t matter. She wasn’t embarrassed with him.
And when she spots Banto in the corner, sulking and practically growling into his drink, she gasps entirely too dramatically and yanks him toward the dance floor and throws her arms behind his head. She blushes deeply as her chest collides softly against his, quickly whispering a stupid, unhinged excuse, “Sorry, Kaminari, I need you for a sec.”
“What’s going on?” he looks confused.
“He’s back and he’s watching me, so I need you to make it look like you like me. That you’re going to take me home or something. I know we’re just friends, but he already thinks I’m with you in some way. Can you just pretend with me?”
Can you take me back to yours and sing sweet lullabies into my skin?
Can we be more than friends?
Can I show you how much you mean to me?
She bites her lip, mortified by her perverted thoughts, but she still tries to shoot him a grateful smile. If Banto sees this, maybe he’ll be grossed out enough to leave her be. He always did have a big ego. He wouldn’t allow himself the embarrassment twice.
Kaminari’s grinning down at her, a soft, fond smile, one that makes her feel like crying, because she wants it to mean something she can never have.
“Hey, Jirou?”
“Yeah, Kida?”
“Are you and Kaminari… like a thing?”
“Um —” Kyouka chokes. “Why do you ask?”
“At the party,” she says, shrugging. “You two looked really friendly, is all. I just wanted to ask because I don’t want to impose. He’s really cute and if you’re not dating and you’re not interested, I think I wanna shoot my shot, ya know?”
“Oh, ha,” Kyouka barely gets out her awkward chuckle.
Kida narrows her eyes and tilts her head. “You like him?”
“No!”
Kida looks like she doesn’t believe her for a moment, then asks, “So, would it be okay if I asked him out?”
“Oh, definitely!”
“Jirou, are you sure? Your voice got a little high, there.”
“Yeah! We’re just friends. Only friends. I think he thinks you’re cute, too, ha ha ha!”
“Yeah? I feel like the timing’s been so off. But if you’re absolutely sure, Jirou —”
“I am!”
She is not.
She’s so happy to see him in the cafeteria that she’s having a hard time holding herself together. She wants to bounce over to him and fall into his lap and give him a giant hug. But she nearly trips in her excitement that she practically throws her books onto the table he’s eating at. He jumps, but swiftly lifts his drink to prevent it from being knocked over.
She notes the lettuce hanging out of his mouth. She laughs, “You’re cute. Like a bunny.”
He just stares at her, and for a moment she’s mortified because what the fuck, she just told him he’s cute. But then he tries to eat the entire leaf without the use of his fork or his hands, wiggling his mouth around, looking every bit as adorable as she’d said he was.
She laughs, a little too hard, honestly, but she dares to say, “I’ve missed you.”
He tilts his head, face blank as he replies, “I didn’t go anywhere.”
Oh, Kyouka could die. This feels so awkward and she’s giving too much of herself away — could she be any more obvious, holy shit —
“Well, you’ve got hockey now.”
“It’s either early in the morning or late at night. We didn’t hang out much during either of those times.” There’s an edge to his voice, like he’s teasing her, but it does nothing to quell the blush that’s already bloomed on her cheeks. She tries to save face by rolling her eyes.
“Well, now I don’t miss you at all.”
“No, wait! Gimme attention!” He gets even cuter, if it were possible, cradling his head in open palms and pouting just enough to make her snort. She smiles at him, her heart full of fondness, reaching up to ruffle his hair. She’s so lost in the moment that she didn’t realize that his hair was tied back, and her fingers just yanks at the strands.
Kyouka can’t help but watch him. He half-scowls at her before going to fix his hair. He pulls the tie out and then exasperatedly goes, “What?”
She’s overwhelmed by the way she feels as she watches him in the bright sunlight pouring in through the windows. He’s incredibly boyish with his teasing smirk, strong jawline, and heavy-lidded bedroom eyes. Her heart is pounding against her ribcage as she reaches out to brush the strands of golden hair out of the way, because his face is so goddamn handsome and he’s looking at her like he feels the same way she does —
A tray clatters faraway and it makes her jump a bit. She schools her face to not give her feelings away and forces herself to meet his gaze. Holy shit, her heart is racing, her breaths are too shallow — how does he not know she’s fucking in love with him by now? Say something! Preferably not weird! Don’t let him know! He doesn’t like you like that! He likes Kida!
“Your hair is so soft. I’m so jealous. I’d never stop touching it if I were you.”
He grins at her, fixing his hair back into the low bun.
“Honestly, I hardly see you for fun anymore. And I’ve seen all of you.”
She guesses that this experience has her so riled up she’s now got a case of word vomit. He glares at her, half-heartedly.
“Can you not?”
“Oh, but it’s so fun!”
“I’d prefer you not —”
“— Seriously, what about this weekend?”
His mouth is full of cherry tomato. “Game.”
Her face falls. Then she remembers, “Home?”
He nods, swallowing his bite, hard.
“Then you’ll have Sunday off, right?”
He nods again.
“Perfect,” she grins. He tilts his head, shoving more lettuce into his mouth. “Alright bunny boy, it’s settled. We’re hanging out,” she announces.
He raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Yes. I miss you.” She checks her phone and rolls her eyes. “Ugh, I gotta get to class. I’ll see you Sunday!”
She jumps up and sprints away.
She’s excited that she’s got plans with him.
But she remembers once again that Kida is in the mix, now.
It’s just plans with friends, she thinks.
Her heart wishes for something much more.
She’s pathetic. She had leapt at the invitation to go to Kaminari’s place after the bar. Kirishima had invited her, of course, so it wasn’t weird. They’d all gone out after the home game, and they’d assumed that Kaminari and Sero had simply gone home and to bed afterward. But both she and Bakugou didn’t like bars when they got crowded so it was decided to bring the party home. Just because it’s possible that she would see him isn’t the only reason she came! Or so she tells herself.
When he emerges from his bedroom, he looks delectable, and it takes everything in her self-worth not to jump up and giggle out a greeting like a grade schooler.
She forces herself to play it cool. But playing it cool comes with trying to find things to do with your hands and the only thing she can do with her hands is slosh her drink around and continue to drink.
So, she’s a bit more drunk now.
She’s yelling at Shinsou about Mario Kart when Momo yanks her toward the door.
“Todoroki is picking me up from here!”
“He’s what?!” she squeals.
“He asked if he could take me home, but I think I might let him take me home!”
Kyouka hasn’t seen Momo look this excited, ever. It’s hard not to match her energy.
“I’ll see you at home?”
“Oh, no way, dude. I’ll stay with someone else tonight. Unless you want me to come back?”
Momo looks thoughtful for a moment, “Can I text you about that?”
“Yes! Please do. Now, go! He’s here.” She does a double take. “With a really nice car. What kind of car is that?” Momo begins speed walking out the front door. “Momo!” She does not turn around. “Are you both rich?!”
Momo flies into the vehicle, making Kyouka roll her eyes. She plops down in the conveniently empty spot beside Kaminari.
“I think I’ve been sexiled.”
He replies quickly, “You won’t know that until later. I think it’s more accurate to say you’re temporarily homeless.”
She laughs at him and tries to turn her attention to the screen. She can’t be flirtatious after she gave Kida the all-clear.
It doesn’t matter though, because she got a little too rowdy and doesn’t remember all too much about the night prior. But she does remember, however, falling asleep in Kaminari’s bed and waking up to him trying to escape.
She’s so hurt and irritated by it all that she’s not rationalizing properly.
“Don’t make it weird,” she bites out. She can’t bring herself to look at him, or even open her eyes, for fear she’ll cry. Don’t make this worse than it already is. She’s not entirely sure what transpires the rest of the night, but she does recognize that it’s the best drunk sleep she’s gotten in her entire young life.
And waking up to bring him coffee and have lunch with their friends makes her ache for something she knows she’ll never have. She forces herself to compartmentalize. She wants to enjoy it while it lasts.
Enjoy it before the shame of being a bad friend overtakes her happiness.
Mina corners her one day.
“What’s this I hear about you trying to set Kaminari up with Kida?”
Kyouka jumps, having been trapped in her own house. Momo is in the kitchen making a snack, and she peeks over the counter with interest.
“What’s that, now?”
“Our friend here, little Miss Obviously-In-Love-with-Kaminari, tried to hook him up with somebody else.”
“Oh, Kyo, did you really?”
“Hey! What are you guys saying? I don’t like him —”
Mina actually screeches and yanks at her hair.
“You can’t deny it! We all know, we can see it!”
Kyouka wants to deny it some more, but Momo rolls her eyes as she pours water into a pot. “Kyo, please. You like him a lot and we know it. We know you. We saw it from a mile away. Now, please explain your attempts to get him to date someone that’s not you?”
She groans and throws herself onto the couch.
“I don’t know! They were flirting so fucking hard at the party, so I tried to help because he doesn’t like me, he likes her and I don’t know —”
“You’re an idiot,” Mina interrupts.
Kyouka sputters.
“So am I, don’t worry.” Mina collapses down beside Kyouka. “I get it.”
“You two are picture perfect examples of pining,” Momo sighs, having abandoned her lunch. “If I can date Todoroki, the both of you can admit your crushes, can’t you?”
Kyouka looks at Mina. Mina’s glaring at her sneakers, her legs outstretched on the ottoman before her. Mina doesn’t say anything for a moment, then growls, “Sero is a stupid fuck, I can’t believe I even like him.”
“Can we just… get drunk and cry about this later?”
“No. You two have some thorough introspection to do.”
Mina huffs. “I’d rather get drunk and cry about it later.”
It makes her want to scream out loud when she hears Brittle play over the loudspeaker. She doesn’t make a sound, but she’s apparently tensed up so much that Momo noticed that something had changed.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s…”
“Huh?” Mina halfheartedly joins the conversation. She’d been watching Sero do laps before settling in on the bench during a time out.
“Are you alright, Kyo?” Ochako leans toward her from three seats away. “You look flushed.”
“It’s… the song.”
“What’s wrong with the song?” Momo tilts her head.
Kyouka takes a deep breath. “It’soneofthesongsIshowedhimtheonetimeweweresexiledfromthelivingroomandhe’splayingitrightnowandI’mkindaunwell!”
“Huh?! I can’t hear you!” Ochako shoves Momo and Mina closer to Kyouka in attempts to hear her better.
Momo’s grin turns wicked, “It’s the song that’s playing. Kyouka showed it to Kaminari and now she’s blushing like a sinner in church.”
“Aw!” Mina and Ochako squeal loudly, almost enough to get the teams’ attentions, but not quite. This, Kyouka is immensely grateful for. She couldn’t imagine how Kaminari would react if he knew she had a gigantic, unrequited crush on him. He’d probably gag from the thought itself.
But gods, Kyouka is vibrating from the flattery.
And later, when she’s already given into her lessened inhibitions and thrown her arms around Kaminari, she’s reminded exactly why she wasn’t supposed to get too excited. She’d given Kida the all-clear, and Kida was sweet, smart and pretty and openly so into Kaminari. She was being a horrible friend and a terrible person. She can’t tell someone it’s okay and then interfere. She’s such a little shit.
She missteps and bumps into Shouji, who lets out a startled yelp when she stomps on his feet.
“Sorry!” she squeaks out.
“What are you stomping around for!” he jokingly scolds her, rolling his eyes before grinning. He grabs her by the waist only to launch her atop Tsu and Mina. “That’s what you get!”
Then he completely disappears.
“What brings you to our corner of the world?” Tsu laughs, poking Kyouka in the side.
“Shouji just saved me from interrupting Kida/Kaminari time,” Kyouka sighs, wiggling her butt between the girls to get comfortable. Mina squeaks in protest but grabs Kyouka’s legs to keep her from sliding off.
She continues to drink and forget, giggling a lot with Mina as they gather around for a celebratory round of shots. She wishes she were more sober when she speaks with Kaminari later. But she’s able to get out a genuine appreciation for his use of the song. Even if her feelings slip out between the lines of her comments.
“I’m glad I met you,” she says.
Understatement of the century.
When she brings up Kida two days later while they’re studying, he seems very… blasé.
He claims he has nothing with her but she wasn’t so drunk she didn’t notice their flirtations. Especially since she had to insert herself into Tsu and Tokoyami’s argument with Mina just to ignore that they were getting close and closer across the room. She had an impromptu dance party just so she could busy herself. She did enjoy Tokoyami’s exasperation, though. Two birds with one stone.
“Well, I think she likes you. And —” she shoots, growing irritated with him. Why would he flirt like that if he didn’t like her back?
“That’s great, but I’m not interested,” he snaps at her.
“Hm,” Kyouka is racking her brain with possible reasons this was grown hostile, all the while trying her absolute fucking hardest not to swoon. She knows that if she wants him, she’s going to have to put herself out there. She’s been fighting it off for so long. She likes him. Why not test the waters? Now that Kida isn’t on his radar anymore, why not?
“Jirou, I’m not interested in her.”
“Alright, jeez,” she smiles at him. Her mind is running a mile a minute, but her heart is swelling with anticipatory excitement. She has to do something.
She resolves right then and there — she has to confess.
But how? And when?
“Okay,” she says. Mina and Momo are at the dining table, textbooks and sheets of paper strewn all over. They look busy, but Kyouka needs to say it out loud. “I like him.”
“Duh,” Mina snorts, not looking up from her laptop.
“I’m glad you’ve admitted it to yourself,” Momo replies, markedly kinder. “Now, what shall you do about it?”
“Ugh,” Kyouka wails. “I don’t know!”
“Just tell him,” Mina still doesn’t look up.
“I can’t do that —”
“Yes you can,” she leans forward, clicking the trackpad, nonchalantly adding, “What do you need to do this? A billboard? A sign from the universe? How about a dare? I dare you to.”
“What?! I can’t just —”
“I double dog dare you to.”
“Mina! How do I even —”
“I triple dog dare you to.”
“You’re being really unhelpful!”
“Ugh, go away, I have an exam to study for.”
Momo just giggles. “Kyo, I think you could do anything and he’d listen. I think he might like you, too.”
“Don’t lie to me to make me feel better!”
“Kyouka if you don’t sit down and shut up, I’m putting a pink wig on you and you’re taking my exam for me,” Mina raises her eyebrows.
Kyouka just huffs as she plops her ass down to study, too. There’s no way in hell that she’s going to take a chem exam in Mina’s stead.
When she first gets that text from Mina, she’s immediately annoyed before guilt takes over. It’s been ages since she’d been able to pin Kaminari down, and she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to be around him as much as she can. She wants to get a read on him. Does she actually have a chance? Is she able to wiggle her way into his heart like he did hers?
She was selfish, though having brought Kaminari. Just because she wanted to keep him around for after. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with him now that she’d admitted it to herself. She honestly thought that it wouldn’t be a big deal, until Mina mentioned Sero. Then it clicked. Mina was heartbroken. And she’d just brought her own crush to the man-hating group hang.
She feels less bad when Mina nearly gives her away.
“We were studying together, and I told him you were upset. He wanted to make sure you were okay — I should have asked you first, I’m so sorry, Mina.”
Mina smiles. “It’s okay! Don’t be sorry! I have to anticipate seeing him more, what with — uh.”
Kaminari looks around the room, confused at the abruptness of her statement, “Wait, what were you going to say?”
Ochako squeaks while Tsu and Momo look amused. Mina stutters out an awkward chuckle. She’s going to give her away! How is she going to cover this up? Kaminari’s going to know about her crush before she’s even ready to tell him!
“I meant I have to anticipate seeing you less, not more, sorry. Since I won’t be able to be around Sero for a while or even for long. It’s nice to see you out of context or whatever. You know?” she trails off, hoping for the best. He shrugs, still confused.
“What’s wrong?” he asks her quietly. He leans down close to her, face impossibly close to hers, studying her flushed cheeks. “Do you feel alright?”
She lets out a violent cough, throwing herself into a fit that takes her a bit to recover from.
“Jesus, Jirou, are you okay?”
“I’m — fine — just choked — on something,” she rasps.
Tooru clearly can’t keep it together, starting to howl at Kyouka’s choking. Tsu bites her lip, hard, turning her head to look at Ochako. Ochako can’t look back, though, for fear of breaking, and turns to look at Momo, whose head is thrown back to stare at the ceiling. When Kyouka finally catches her breath from all the coughing, she locks gazes with Mina, who dissolves into a fit of laughter, setting off the rest of the girls.
Kaminari looks horrified and tries to excuse himself.
Mina denies him.
Later, when she’s got him alone in the kitchen with her, she apologizes profusely. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was like a girl girl emergency. I knew she liked him, but I don’t know. I guess I underestimated how deep she’d let it get.”
“Should I say something?”
Kyouka nearly drops a carton of milk she’d been moving to get to more beer. “No!”
“I just think it would hurt her more!”
“Alright weirdo, don’t gotta take it out on the milk.”
“Shut up, you scared me,” she sighs, sticking her tongue out at him. She’s mumbling about pizza before she realizes that Kaminari looks deep in thought. “What?”
“I’m just saying, this could all be resolved.”
She sighs again. “I know.”
“So, why can’t we just… help it along?”
She tries not to squeal at how fucking adorable he’s being. He’s such a good friend. “Because it’s not our place and it’s not our business.”
“But we know Sero likes her back.”
“Sure. But Sero has got to be the one to tell her that. And, if Mina likes him that much, she should also be the one to tell him that she likes him. It’s their decision to make. We can’t make it for them. We're not some all-knowing seer that can promise them protection. We're just friends, here to support and give love.”
He makes her want to kiss him when he pouts.
“I mean, I get that. But if someone doesn’t say something then they’re just going to keep hurting each other. And isn’t it our duty to protect our friends from getting hurt?”
Oh my god she’s going to cream her pants.
“Sure, you’re right. But they decide for themselves. They have to do it on their own.”
Calling the kettle black, indeed.
“But if they’re being stubborn – are we good friends if we don’t help them be happy? Protect him?”
He’s so fucking hot.
“It’s sweet of you to want to do that for your friends, Kaminari, but you can’t put your nose where it doesn’t belong. Think about it like fate. It will happen if it’s meant to happen. It has to be natural or it won’t be real. And it’s much better when it’s real. Genuine.”
And boy, does she have some genuine feelings at the tip of her tongue and especially in her pants.
“That’s all good and whatever, but I’d rather nudge them in the right direction.”
She’s too lost in her thoughts of ripping his shirt from his body and kissing him all over because holy fuck is he the best and sweetest friend she’s ever met and had, and she wants to show him how much she likes him —
“I dunno, I guess I don’t get it. If I were Sero or Ashido, I’d want a sign that the benefit outweighed the risk.”
“A sign?”
“Yeah, like, from the universe?”
She smiles, “You can’t rely on omnipotent presences telling you what you want. You have free will. Life’s about making your own signs and paving your own way. Don’t you think? Wouldn’t you want to live your own life? Without needing the permission of the universe?”
She has to fucking say something, and soon. Mina’s words of ‘I triple dog dare you,’ strike her like lightning.
“When you say it like that, I guess I get what you mean. I guess I’d have a hard time confessing. It would be easier if someone told them for me — but don’t tell Ashido I said that. She’d do me so dirty.”
She laughs, her head spinning with thoughts that have yet to connect. Something is looming in her mind, on the brink of genius but she can’t focus on it; can’t grasp at the straws of her thoughts. “Yeah, honestly, Ashido was lucky that Bakugou and Kirishima were so willing. It could have gone so wrong.”
“I’d be too nervous. Shy, even.”
“You? The flirt of every party? Shy?” He scrunches his nose at her, making her giggle. “Oh, Pikachu, you can’t wait for life to come to you. You’ve gotta live it!”
I’ve gotta live, too!
“Oi, I live my life!”
“Oh, yeah? Prove it! Got any confessions you’d like to acknowledge? Or are you going to wait for a sign to slap you in the face, ten years down the line, after you’ve let all your precious time fly past your prime?”
When she says this, she nearly chokes. She is a hypocrite in all facets. What exactly is she saying? She jumps on the opportunity to say one final thing, something that her heart is screaming at her to do for herself: “Seal your own fate. It’s a different ballpark with more worthwhile results if you acknowledge your feelings are very real.”
He sighs out. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
She’s got it. She has the perfect way to confess. Mostly because she’s got so many words that she can’t string together about how she feels about him. He’s a ray of sunshine and her feelings for him make her want to dance. She needs to put it to paper first. She needs to say something.
She needs to tell him.
The song pulls itself together. It was almost too easy, pouring her heart out into a song that is upbeat and full of life. She ignores the criticism from her bandmates, having a song that’s more pop than their usual sound. Once Bakugou realizes what the song is about, he grins and throws his sticks at Tokoyami who’s brooding over the guitar parts that make her want to dance around onstage as she sings the lyrics. She compromises that she’ll play some of it if he hates it that much. But then Shinsou corners Tokoyami when he says, “As if you don’t feel this way about Asui.”
Tokoyami immediately shuts up and begins plucking away as he studies the jumbled sheet music.
“It’s a confession, right?” Bakugou leers at her from his drum kit.
“Shut up, Bakubro.”
“So, Kaminari’s coming, huh?” Shinsou grins at her from his keyboard and mixing table.
“Ugh, stop!”
“Kaminari?!” Tokoyami gasps.
Bakugou leans down to pick up another set of sticks, launching them at Tokoyami’s back.
“This is a confession?!” he yelps. He turns to glare at Bakugou, who only smirks. Then he spins back around and remembers what’s happening. “Oh, finally.”
“Hey! Shut up!”
Twenty seconds into the first song and Kyouka is panicking — did she make it too obvious? They shared a significant history of dares to one another. She wanted him to really pay attention to her lyrics because he’s looking like he may fall over any second.
She can’t see him too well, though. He’s in the perfect spot both show up in bright spotlighting and disappear into the horizon. If she tries hard enough, she can vaguely outline his figure alongside Momo’s… Or Mina’s.
It’s for the best, she muses as she finishes off the first song. Not being able to see him makes the confession a bit easier to follow through with. But the lighting changes and she can see him watching her, with wide eyes and an awestruck gape. She almost giggles during the saddest song of her set, but she’s quickly redirected when she notices that Momo and Sero are arguing. It’s when Mina spins around and throws her arms around Momo’s waist that gives away that her roommate is drunk and sad. She’s forgone all sense of posture and pride to curl up beneath Momo’s bosom and hide from Sero.
Jesus. What’s going on down there?
The room brightened when Tokoyami played a few notes that lingered with reverberation. Shinsou was adjusting his synthesizer and keyboard. Bakugou began a quiet drumroll on his cymbals when Kyouka performed her most rehearsed speech to date: “I think it’s important that people take their chances. I think it’s important that people speak their truth. It doesn’t matter that you’re afraid, you know? It doesn’t matter that there’s this tiny potential that you’ll get your heart broken. What’s important is that you don’t fucking hide from your fucking feelings! Like I’ve been doing!”
Cheers erupt from the crowd and Kyouka’s heart is soaring at the feedback. Her breaths feel shallow and fast as she gathers all her courage and desperation to just confess.
How much longer could she watch other women flirt their way into his lives? What if they were vindictive and conniving, because not everyone was as sweet as Kida? How much more could her battered heart bear as their friendship grows stronger and more soulmate-like every day? She couldn’t fathom life without him now that she’s so attached. Her life would be at a standstill until she got those feelings out there — whether it end in rejection or acceptance — she couldn’t move forward without knowing.
She had to try.
Because what if he felt the same?
What levels of euphoria could her racing heart reach?
She’s not even sure what she says between then and now, but she makes sure she drops her obvious hint: “Say it! I fucking dare you!”
Immediately, the rest of the band jumps into the song, and she picks up when she’s due to.
She loves this song, it makes her feel light and bouncy, which is what she felt when she and Kaminari created inside jokes together. She likes that it’s upbeat because Kaminari makes her so happy. She likes that she makes such good use of the phrase they’ve shot at one another. She loves that she can compare him to the sun, because he’s as bright and shining and pleasant as warmth on an early summer day.
All her hopes are dashed though, when the dimmest of their house lights flicker on and she sees Mina and Sero embracing in the middle of the audience. Kaminari is nowhere to be found. She can’t see him amongst her friends and she can’t spot him in the crowd. She gags as the burn of bile begins to creep like acidic heat into her throat. Her stomach turns and her heart drops and she wants to scream into the void.
She practically launches her bass guitar into Tokoyami’s arms before running offstage and ignoring her friends’ calls. She vaguely hears Shinsou sigh dramatically before her hands hit the push door. The coolness of the night slaps her in the face and she’s so shocked by it that it resets her; her breaths stop laboring and her heart doesn’t pound against her ribcage until she looks up to see him.
“Hey. What are you doing out here?”
“Needed some fresh air,” she shrugs, trying with all her might not to fucking cry. Or scream.
“Oh? From?”
You. She’s annoyed. Did he fucking miss the whole thing?
She almost snaps, “I kinda bared my soul like a teenage drama queen and I’m waiting on the results.”
He laughs, which confuses her. “Fuck,” he exhales. Then, he’s kissing her. Nearly took her to the ground with it. Their lips move together, the kisses sloppy and heated as he pulls her into his chest. Her heart is racing, but in a comfortably exciting way. If this is how she feels about their first kiss, imagine what the practiced ones will be like. She giggles, unable to contain herself, leaping into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as she gently cups his chin.
She’s high above the clouds, here in the darkness of a poorly lit parking lot, wearing a high-school letterman jacket even though they’re 21, her new boyfriend nonstop kissing her and quoting her own lyrics back to her — she’s in heaven.
Later, he tells her that Mina and Sero had their own chick-flick worthy confession in the middle of the crowd, and he’d almost missed the song entirely because they’d been arguing and making a scene. He adds that Momo had to step in to redirect him, while simultaneously shielding Mina from starting a fight with Sero. It all played out so dramatically that when it clicked that the song was for him, he almost fell over in shock. He’d felt overwhelmed with everything happening all at once that when it came to trying to meet her backstage, he’d tripped and fallen on his face in his haste.
She felt a little bad that Momo had to run interference, but she was with Todoroki that night and would likely prefer not to be disturbed. She also feels better that Mina wasn’t as drunk as it seemed; she’d been more sad than she was intoxicated.
But holy shit, all that aside, she’s floating above the clouds. Her new boyfriend is just as goofy as when they’d been just friends, but she has the new advantage of shutting up his bad jokes by climbing him like a tree. He is thoughtful and sweet, making her yearn to be affectionate, so she was: always touching him, always by his side, always anticipating his needs. They complemented each other in so many ways, and she feels, for the first time ever, complete. She’s so fucking lucky to know him. So fucking lucky to have taken that risk — for daring to fall in love with her best friend.