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It’s the height of spring during the first week of May, the air is crisp and perfumed with the scent of countless blooming flowers and green mountains, with just the hint of sea salt being carried by the light breeze. The day is long again and the warmth of the sun’s rays finally reaches within instead of only giving out false warmth.
Burcu steps out of the airport in Trabzon and takes a couple of steps forward to distance herself from the entrance and insistent taxi drivers. Despite the gaggle of noise around her, it still somehow seemed calm compared to the hustle and bustle of Istanbul.
Personally, Burcu wasn’t very enthusiastic about taking a flight from Istanbul to Trabzon, especially considering that the ticket prices would strain their budget. Sure, they are a two-income household, but both worked as state-appointed teachers, they were hardly swimming in money. However, Burcu was rational enough to acknowledge that the 14-hour trip to her hometown would leave her exhausted and off balance and God knows she needed to have her wits about her if she were to face her family. Besides, she was yet again reminded that Kemal had plenty of money put aside from his basketball days and that he had no problems spending it on her. It took him a full day to convince her, but eventually she gave in - especially since the sneaky man played the ‘ I will worry about you on the road for so long, Burcu’m, what if something happens? ’ card. Causing him distress was the last thing Burcu wanted, so she’d let him buy her a plane ticket.
She lifted the leather bag and threw the strap over her shoulder. She couldn’t help but run her hand over the leather that’s been made soft from years and years of usage. It’s Kemal’s duffle bag and she misses him already. Burcu really hates the fact that she had to leave him behind. Ever since he came back from Izmir, they haven’t really spent any prolonged period of time apart. Heck, Burcu even accompanied him back to Izmir to sort out his departure from the Karşıyaka team.
However, given that her relationship with her family has been tense ever since she first moved to Istanbul and even more so once she broke her long-standing engagement with Tuncay. So seeing as Burcu neither wanted to give her family further ammunition against her nor to have to justify her happiness to the whole town (because in Dernekpazarı, population 8500, it only took an hour for news to spread all over the town). Bless him, it was Kemal’s idea to begin with and Burcu was as grateful to him for not making her have to say it as she was sad to leave him and during a holiday at that. But ever the peacekeeper, Burcu hugged him goodbye at the airport and grinned through teary eyes as he promised to be back at the airport 7 days later to pick her up.
From the corner of her eye she spied a slightly dilapidated payphone and hurried towards it, her plans to rush to the bus station momentarily forgotten. She dials their home number and true to his habit Kemal picks up by the second ring. Knowing they don’t have much time, Burcu assures him that she’s arrived safely in Trabzon. Kemal doesn’t outright say it, but she knows him well enough to detect the hint of gratitude in his voice that she called. He also doesn’t miss telling her to enjoy her time with her family and not worry about him one bit.
They barely have time to say goodbye and quicker than she would have liked - their line was cut off.
Burcu steps away from the payphone and takes a good look around the entrance to the Arrivals terminals, despite her better judgement. And just as she expected, there is no one there to pick her up even though she gave her siblings and mother her flight details and they’re well aware of her arrival. While their absence is not a surprise, it still stings deep within her chest. Even so, Burcu does what she’s always done - she swallows the hurt, adjusts the strap of her luggage and moves on.
Thoughts of Kemal and her family fall away during the hour-long ride to her hometown. Between the gaggle of thick karadenizli accents on the minibus, the music coming off of the driver’s radio that is typical to the region, and the sight of the Black Sea and the green, ever tall mountains, Burcu is filled with a new kind of sadness - nostalgia. Istanbul, both the city and province, are beautiful, of course, but the Trabzon area will always hold a special place in her heart and nothing and no one could ever quite compare to it. She looks at the deep blue colour of the sea as it sparkles like diamonds under the sun rays and her anxiety dissipates. Gradually, as the minibus takes a turn and the sea is left behind them, Burcu is faced with the sights of rolling hills and mountains. The wind picks up a bit and a gust of fresh mountain air comes in through the open sunroof. Burcu breathes in deeply and closes her eyes - it’s almost as if she never left to begin with.
She gets out of the minibus and collects her duffle bag.
She takes a quick look around the bus station as she stretches after the hour-long drive. There are a few familiar faces here and there - some distant relatives who were mercifully occupied and not looking in her direction, some friends of her brother and sister, and she thinks she spies a classmate over by the simit cart. All the more reason to get out of here quickly and get to her parents’ home as quickly as humanly possible.
As she walks through the familiar streets she notices that there are more people out and about than there usually are at this time of day. It’s not until she sees an elderly woman dragging a shopping bag on wheels behind her that she realizes - it’s market day. This realization only causes her to walk quicker - the last thing she needed was to see any of her extended family or - God forbid - Tuncay or anyone from his family. Sure, it’s been over a year since she broke off their engagement and the man was already married and father to a child, but around this area such insults weren’t easily forgotten.
She winds through streets and alleys until she turns a corner and winds up on the street she grew up on. She walks up the hill leading to her childhood home and slows down, instinctively wanting to take in everything and mentally compare it to her memories. She passes through the homes of some relatives and those of her neighbors and of course she takes the time to greet whoever she sees on her way. The frosty response she receives is second only to the people turning her back on her completely. She only falters in her steps twice on her way to her parents.
She reaches the front gate and it’s the same as she remembers it, except the blue paint is peeling in several places and there are clear signs of rust on the fence. Burcu takes a quick look at her watch and sees the hour - her mother is normally weeding in the backyard at this hour. The front gate creaks open as she opens and shuts it behind her.
“Nesrin, how are you?” She calls out to her niece with a smile and a wave as soon as she sees the 8-year-old on the swing she herself used to spend so much time on when she was her age.
“Hi, teyze,” The girl greets her with much less enthusiasm.
Burcu’s heart feels heavy all of a sudden. Before she was assigned to work so far away from home, she used to have a very close relationship with her nieces and nephews as well as her siblings. But maybe Nesrin’s frostiness isn’t due to the distance - maybe the girl is just having a bad day. Yes, that must be it.
She finds her mother in the vegetable garden, just like she thought she would. The woman has her back to her, so Burcu makes sure to be extra noisy in her approach.
“Hoş bulduk, Mom.” Burcu greets and hates how much hesitation there is in her voice.
Her mother finishes weeding the lettuce she was working on and only then looks up at Burcu.
“Welcome, kızım.” her mother says with a small smile that isn’t at all typical of her.
Then she returns to weeding the plants.
There’s a moment of silence that Burcu feels goes on for a full hour at least. Then she clears her throat awkwardly and grabs the strap of her duffle bag.
“Let me go change and I’ll come help you out here.” Burcu says.
She waits a few seconds yet her mother offers no response. So Burcu makes good on her promise and heads to the house in order to change.
Walking through her parents home she feels an even more intense bout of nostalgia that begins as soon as she passes the threshold and a very familiar smell hits her - a smell that used to make her feel warm and safe and comforted. Now, though, especially given her interactions with her niece and mother, it makes her feel sad.
But Burcu opts not to dwell on it and puts it out of her mind as she climbs the stairs to her bedroom that she once used to share with her older sister. She finds a cotton sheet spread out on her bed with what looks like trahana spread out to dry. That makes sense, her big brother loves trahana soup. At the foot of her bed there are a few boxes labeled with her name and it only takes her a good look about the room to realize the boxes must be filled with her books and what little belongings she has here nowadays. Again, a part of her hurries to rationalize the action - about how it makes sense seeing as she doesn’t live here anymore, has no intention of coming back, and visits rarely.
Burcu takes her duffle bag off her shoulder and balances it on top of one box which is only waist-high. She opens the bag and pulls out some clothes she doesn’t mind getting dirty and changes in a hurry, so she can go help her mother quicker. She folds her clothes and puts them neatly in one corner of her bed that isn’t covered by the cloth. Then she returns to her bag and pulls out a bag of candy that she knows the local shops here don’t sell. If it were up to her she would have loved to bring presents, but she knows that her family isn’t really big on surprises so she figured she’d just go shopping with her sister and mother and ask her brother and father what they need and don’t have. Other than that, for her nieces and nephew she figured she can just give them money - as is custom, coincidentally.
After that she goes outside and gets to work by her mother’s side.
“Where is everyone?” Burcu asks, because normally the house would be overflowing with people and noise.
“The women are at the market. The men went fishing this morning.” Her mother answers succinctly, barely looking her way.
“How come you didn’t go with abla?” Burcu asks again.
“Someone had to watch Nesrin. She wasn’t feeling good this morning.”
That worries Burcu greatly. “Is she sick?”
“No.”
Okay then. Gardening in silence it is.
Burcu doesn’t know when exactly they come home, but the sun has moved west already when a gaggle of people come into the yard. From the sounds of it, it seems the family came back from their errands and time fishing.
“Oh, good. Gizem and Arda are back with the groceries.” Her mother declares more to herself than to Burcu. “And Mustafa is back with the fish.”
She then watches as her mother’s face breaks into the first smile she’d seen that day as the older woman walks briskly to the front of the house to greet everyone.
Burcu finishes tending to the onions and then gets up, dusts herself off, and heads out front to join everyone.
She finds everyone gathered under the shade of the growing grape vines.
“Abi!” she exclaims in greeting at the sight of her big brother - Mehmet.
She approaches him quickly and wraps her arms around him. It takes her a moment to realise that he isn’t hugging her back. She lets go quickly, as if burned, and takes a few steps back to look at Mehmet who has a look as if he’d eaten a whole lemon.
“Burcu.” He says and it’s more a statement of a fact than an actual greeting.
Burcu feels as if someone had dropped an ice cube down her spine and not in the fun way.
“Meryem abla, how are you?” She turns to the side to greet her sister-in-law.
Her and Meryem, who is more or less her age give or take a couple of years, have always gotten along very well. Normally, they would hug and catch up over tea. Yet the woman before her now looks almost pained to see her and Burcu almost misses the way her hand tightens on Nesrin’s shoulder only to pull the girl back ever so slightly. Almost.
Before she can really assimilate the feeling of rejection she spots her father and rushes to him quickly to kiss his hand in greeting.
“Who invited her ?” He asks loudly in response and pulls his hand out of her grasp.
“I didn’t think she would actually come.” Claims her big sister somewhere to Burcu’s left. “You know she’s too good for us now and all.”
Burcu straightens up as her neck whips to the left to look at Bahar in shock. She is so surprised by the edge of venom in her voice that she completely forgets to greet her niece and nephew as well as Bahar’s husband Asaf.
“What’s going on here?” Burcu asks and she can no longer hide or forget the anxiety that’s bubbling within her.
“Get inside and Allah aşkına don’t be dramatic. Someone will hear you!” Her mother comes forward and scolds her.
Burcu doesn’t get a chance to reply before her mother barks to the whole family to get their stuff and come inside the house before grabbing Burcu’s arm and dragging her inside.
Her mother lets go of Burcu’s arm as soon as they reach the kitchen.
“You have shamed us once already! That wasn’t enough, so now you want to cause another scandal?” Her mother hisses at her angrily.
Burcu physically recoils from her mother because in all her 30 years of life she was never treated like this, let alone by her own family. Yet it’s when her arm begins to hurt as her mother’s grasp on it tightens that Burcu snaps out of the shock.
The first thing she does is yank her arm out of her mother’s grasp.
“Anne, what are you talking about?” Burcu asks, afraid, to a degree, to hear the answer.
All her life Burcu has done her best to be a model daughter, a model sister, a model friend, and a model citizen. Try as she might to rack her brain over what she may have done to anger her mother, and by extension her family, she cannot come up with anything.
Until she remembers one thing. But surely… No. No way. After all, it’s been over a year already.
“You put us to shame in front of the whole town when you abandoned Tuncay!” Her mother said in a raised voice, still just as angry as she was before.
“What are you…?” Burcu replies and she can feel the hotness travelling down from her ears to her face and her throat.
This is unbelievable. Perhaps she has the wrong house. Maybe she read one of too many of those sci-fi novels Sinan recommended to her before he left for university. Surely this is not her family - it cannot be.
“Don’t you talk back to me!” Her mother yells in earnest now.
Sure enough the volume brings Meryem and Bahar over to where they’re standing because God forbid any of the men set foot in the kitchen. Although, given how things are developing, maybe that’s a good thing.
“Anne! What’s going on? Why are you yelling?” Her sister asks when she comes in.
“Anne, are you alright?” Meryem asks just as Bahar is done yelling.
“What you did was shameful!” Her mother continued scolding Burcu, completely ignoring their audience. “But of course, you didn’t care! You weren’t here! You didn’t have to walk past Tuncay’s family every single day and want the ground to swallow you whole with shame!”
Burcu’s anger and indignation was morphing quickly into hurt and she could feel her vision get blurry as the tears gathered in her eyes. But Burcu dug her fingernails into her palm as her hands squeezed into fists. She stood up ramrod straight and her shoulders tensed. She doesn’t have the words to describe the hurt she’s feeling right now, but she’ll be damned if she gives them the satisfaction to see her cry.
Instead Burcu looks to the two other women. Sure her entire family is very conservative and religion and propriety are very important, but surely, as women they wouldn’t allow this type of humiliation.
“Abla? Meryem abla?” She whispers and looks at them, because if she speaks any louder she fears her voice would break.
“We became the laughing stock of the whole town! We’ve only just now started regaining some propriety and now here you are about to ruin it all again no doubt!” Her sister states coldly and sidesteps Burcu to go stand by their mother.
“Abla, you told me to come! You invited me!” Burcu protested.
She was reluctant to leave Istanbul to begin with, yet standing here now she was absolutely beginning to regret it.
“It took Mehmet a very long time to restore the damage you caused. Finally we are on good terms again.” Meryem said, thus making her position clear as well.
Though to her credit at least she didn’t sound malicious.
Burcu swallows the bile that rises in her throat. For a moment she thinks back to everything she has endured, all the conflict and strife that she’s had to deal with as a teacher. And then it dawns on her - her family are acting very much like her students do when you’re throwing a fit.
So she takes a deep breath and lets it out.
“Are you going to hold this over me for the rest of our lives?” Burcu asks as calmly as she can.
Her mother lets out a shrill laugh. “Now she’s telling me how to behave!”
Burcu takes another deep breath, yet this one seems to have less of an effect than the previous one.
Mercifully, she’s spared by her brother bursting into the kitchen.
“For God’s sake stop with the yelling already! You’re giving everyone a headache! Blah Blah Blah!” he says loudly as he comes in.
The effect is immediate as silence settles over the kitchen as none of her family dares contradict him. Though Burcu has half a mind to do it, just because. She’s changed in the year and then some since she last saw them and she no longer lets people walk all over her. But damn her family for being able to undo all that progress with a single glare.
“Anne, we put the tables together in the yard. There’s not enough place inside for all of us.” Mehmet says.
“Don’t be ridiculous, son. Of course there’s more than enough place for the family inside.” His mother objects.
“I invited Tuncay and his wife for dinner. We ran into them when I went to pick up Meryem. Since his parents are on vacation this year, I didn’t want them to be alone for the bayram.” Mehmet explained.
Burcu feels the blood run cold at her brother’s words. Tuncay was the one person she was hoping not to run into. This visit is already shaping up to be terrible she didn’t need it to get any worse. Apparently though, fate has other ideas.
“Oh, my son! This is such a wonderful idea. You’re so considerate. Of course, we would be lucky to have them.” His mother says sweetly.
In a single moment her mother's mood seems to have shifted completely. Any anger and bitterness she displayed with Burcu was all but forgotten as a wide smile spread on her face and she brushed off her skirt.
“Bahar, Meryem, hadi, my girls. Let’s get to work, we have a lot of work to do if we’re having guests.” Her mother says before turning her back to them and heading to the fridge.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Burcu asks no one specific.
Sure, they just had a big fight. Sure, she’s not particularly fond of the thought of spending the afternoon with them, but at the end of the day since she’ll be eating dinner, she might as well help prepare the food.
For a moment it seemed Meryem was about to say something, but when Bahar stuck an elbow into her side she thought better of it and focused on peeling the eggplants.
Burcu waited for a few more seconds and then decided to take their silence as a ‘no’.
She went upstairs and got the pack of candy she’d brought with her. Burcu opened it as she was walking down the stairs and then took a left for the living room where she rightly assumed the men and the kids would be.
“May you have a happy and sweet bayram.” she says softly and passes by each member of her family with the bag of candy before leaving it on the table.
Only Asaf, her brother-in-law, takes a candy and gives her a weak smile and a silent thanks.
“Is there anything you need help with? Anything you need me to do?” Burcu asks. “Maybe take care of the children?”
“We need you to stay out of the way and not make a scene when Tuncay and his family arrive.” Her brother tells her and once again Burcu is shocked at how different he seems.
“Why would I cause a scandal, abi? It’s been over a year. He’s married and has a family now.” Burcu said softly, trying to reason with her brother in the hopes of thawing him out.
“We also need you to be quiet.” Her father interjects without looking away from his newspaper.
This time, Burcu doesn’t argue. Instead she goes upstairs and shuts the door. She takes her cardigan and top off and reaches into the duffle bag to pull out the t-shirt she had packed to sleep in.
It’s huge on her when she puts it on but Burcu doesn’t care. She walks around the bed and sits down on the floor with her arms hugging her legs.
As soon as she grips the collar and lifts it to her nose it smells just like Kemal with a hint of the fabric softener they use at home. She breathes in deeply and that’s all it takes to finally let the tears finally fall.
It takes Kemal about an hour after Burcu calls him at noon to let him know she got off the plane alright, to realise that he can’t actually do it. It’s just long enough for him to do his exercise routine, massage his ankle, shower, and have some lunch. But once that’s done he finds himself with nothing to do.
He’s home, he’s alone, and their flat feels all too large without Burcu in it.
The problem is that he has nothing to do today, either. They already went grocery shopping before Burcu left. Their bills are paid. They don’t really need to get anything for home. And he doesn’t have any work to do for the school seeing as they have the week off.
He tries reading the paper, but his thoughts keep drifting to Burcu. He tosses the paper aside and turns on the TV and there’s nothing that can hold his attention. He puts on a sports channel and watches exactly 10 minutes of a basketball game before he starts wondering if Burcu has arrived home already. He glances at his wristwatch - she wouldn’t be there yet. She’d told him she had about an hour's drive from Trabzon.
He sighs and twists in his armchair until the phone is within his sights.
He forces himself to focus on the game, but the minutes tick by and Burcu doesn’t call. Now, to be fair, she did warn him that she’ll have a hard time calling from her family’s home. But knowing her, she would at least call to let him know she arrived safely.
Except that she hasn’t and it’s nearing half past one at noon and Kemal is getting more antsy by the minute.
He waits for another 15 minutes before he goes to their bedroom, grabs the first backpack he sees, throws whatever clothes he can find, and calls for a taxi.
Forty five minutes later he finds himself in front of the check in desk at the airport, asking for a ticket to Trabzon.
He’s in luck - the flight is nearly full - but the lady at the counter offers him a middle seat in the back of the plane, in economy class. Kemal takes it without so much as a grimace. The flight, though, is in four hours. That, coupled with the drive to Burcu’s town means he probably won’t make it there before dinnertime, given that he’s unfamiliar with the Black Sea region and the roads there.
His next stop, especially given that he has plenty of time to kill, is to one of the bigger rent-a-car brands that he recognizes on sight. He talks to the representative there and manages to arrange for a surprisingly decent car that will await him in the Trabzon airport on arrival. Sure, he has to pay extra for the short notice, but for once, being recognized for his basketball career has an advantage. Once the man at the desk realises who Kemal is, his reluctance to help quickly turns into enthusiasm. Hell, Kemal even signs the piece of paper the man gave him without any complaints.
Next, he decides to head right to the duty-free zone. After all, he has no luggage to check in so there’s no reason for him to wait in line. He taps his foot impatiently as he waits in line for the security checks and once that’s done he heads straight for Passport control ahead.
Soon enough he finds himself in the duty-free zone and he decides to kill the time he has left by browsing the shelves. He decides to buy some chocolates for Burcu’s family, if only so he doesn’t show up empty-handed like a complete boor. He hovers a while longer in the perfume section and debates internally if he should buy that perfume for himself in addition to the one he found for Burcu. Lastly, perhaps even luckily, he passes buy a stand with maps and he grabs a map of Türkiye. After all, if he’s going to drive to Burcu’s town, he should at least have some help.
Finally, he boards the plane and finds himself sandwiched between 2 aunties. One of them, bless her, notices the way his legs are cramped together and offers to switch her aisle seat with him both so she could sit next to her friend and so that he could stretch his legs out some.
The flight is mercifully short and uneventful, lasting only for an hour and a half. It’s late afternoon by the time he finds himself by the rent-a-car’s office to pick up his car.
He throws the duty free bag and his backpack onto the backseat as he gets into the silver Honda CRV. He adjusts the seat and runs a hand over the dashboard in appreciation. It’s a nice car that’s only been out for a year.
He twists and turns again to reach the bag and pull the map out of it, because he has a feeling he’s going to need it. He unfolds it and re-folds it to focus more easily on the Trabzon area and he sets off.
Mercifully there are road signs up until he gets out of the city so at least he’s mostly sure that he’s driving on the correct road. He turns on the radio for company, but at some point, as the mountain road weaves around, the reception gets spotty and the interruptions begin to annoy him. He switches it off and drives in silence.
His shoulders relax and he lets out a relieved sigh as soon as he sees the road sign signalling that he has arrived at Dernekpazarı. Very good. Now to the harder part of finding where exactly the house of Burcu’s parents is. He slows down his car and starts glancing around in search of someone to ask.
It does take him a couple of tries but eventually an older man gives him the address. He’s painfully aware that each person he spoke to was staring at him like he’s an alien. And Kemal supposes that to such a sleepy small town in this distant mountainous area - he might as well be one.
Nevertheless he thanks the man politely and wishes him a happy bayram.
He does have to slow down his driving significantly between the twists and turns of the streets and the potholes in them. But it only takes him about 5 minutes to pull up in front of a small blue gate with peeling paint.
This has to be it.
He peers through the window and sees the family gathered around the table outside. He doesn’t really recognize anyone, seeing as he’s only met them that one time during Burcu’s cursed engagement ceremony that he crashed for like five minutes. Just the memory of it makes him shudder in disgust. He looks some more and he’s almost certain he recognizes Burcu’s ex.
Probably he has the right house. If not, he must be near it.
Her turns off the engine and twists around to get the duty-free bag before getting out of the car.
He can tell someone noticed him because the talk dies down a little as he shuts his door close a bit louder than intended. He can see at least two men get up from their seats.
They meet him at the gate and by the look of them they must be Burcu’s father and brother.
“Good evening.” Kemal greets them.
“Good evening, can we help you?” The older man asks.
“My name is Kemal, I work with Burcu. I was in the area to meet up with some friends for the vacation. So I thought I’d drop by on my way there to wish her a happy holiday.”
The men study him for a couple minutes, her father more intensely than her brother.
Then her brother gasps and Kemal has to resist the urge to sigh and roll his eyes.
“You’re Kemal Altuna!” Her brother exclaims loud enough that Kemal thinks the whole street may have heard him. “Dad, he's a basketball legend! A basketball legend is in our house!”
The older man waves for his son to quiet down and then waves for Kemal to come in, before turning around to retake his seat at the table.
Kemal follows the two men inside the yard and as he does the noise suddenly goes silent.
He can feel the eyes on him as he takes his time to inspect every member of Burcu’s immediate family. His eyes also fall on two people who aren’t her family (thank God) and he can’t help but scrunch his nose a little at the man.
“Hey! Kemal hoca right?” Tuncay calls out.
But it’s at that exact point that Kemal’s eyes meet Burcu’s, who staring back at him with wide eyes and her lips parted in a way that makes him want to kiss the shock off of her.
“Konuşma benimle.” Kemal tells the man without breaking eye contact with Burcu.
He’s forced to do it, though, when Burcu’s mother approaches, demanding to know what’s going on.
“İyi bayramlar, efendim.” Kemal greets her politely and takes the chocolate out of the bag and hands it to her.
He lets Burcu’s brother and father explain and shakes hands politely with everyone else.
“Kemal?” He hears Burcu’s soft voice and it’s as if something within him settles.
Kemal waves at her with a smile and his heart starts beating just a bit quicker as he watches her get out of her chair and approach him.
The closer she gets though, the more he starts getting the idea that something wasn’t right. For one, Burcu was never timid at holidays. For another, she wouldn’t come too near him or look him in the eyes for too long.
Naturally he needs to get to the bottom of this but he doesn’t think giving his future in-laws a show they didn’t ask for will get him in their good graces.
“Burcu hanım, iyi bayramlar.” He smiles at her, keeping up appearances.
Burcu nods weakly and gives him a smile that absolutely doesn’t reach his eyes.
“For God’s sake, girl, don’t be rude!” Her mother scolds her quietly, or so she thinks, because Kemal doesn’t have any problem hearing her. And he’d guess anyone else at the table doesn’t either.
His hands ball into tight fists and the only reason they remain at the sides of his body is because the source of the insult is both a woman and Burcu’s mother.
“Kemal bey, let me show you to the bathroom, you must have travelled long so you’ll want to wash up.” Burcu says very quickly, a tell-tale sign she was nervous about something, and closes the distance between them.
She grabs his hand and pulls him towards the house. Kemal follows her willingly, content to just be holding her hand again.
“Kemal! What are you doing here?” Burcu asks as soon as the front door is shut behind them.
Never a man of many words, Kemal opts for the truth: “I missed you too much.”
There’s a silent pause that lasts only a few moments as Burcu blinks at him. But then he doesn’t even see her coming, even though she’s right in front of him. One moment his arms are empty and the next they’re full of Burcu who throws herself into his arm and squeezes him tightly around the ribs as a little bit of her hair flies into his face.
Kemal isn’t the smartest man, he’d be the first to admit it, but he’s more than smart enough to know that he’s the luckiest man alive to have Burcu in his arms so he wastes no time in embracing her back. In fact, he lifts her off her feet and to his eye level for good measure.
It’s what he finds in her eyes, though, that makes him put her back down.
Burcu averts her eyes as soon as her feet touch the ground.
“Burcu’m.” Kemal whispers. “What’s wrong?”
Burcu doesn’t reply, but he swears he hears a sniffle in the sharp breath she takes in.
Something has to be wrong if she won’t meet his eyes. Lucky for him, Kemal is stubborn and never more so than when he has a Burcu-related mystery to solve.
He lifts his hand to her chin and uses two fingers to gently push it upward. “Bana bak.”
Kemal’s heart skips a beat as soon as she relents and he can see properly into her eyes.
They were red and puffy - a tell-tale sign that she’s been crying.
His first instinct is to throw the nearest object within his grasp into the wall as he realizes that someone upset Burcu enough to make her cry. His second instinct, and the one he chooses to follow (let no one say being with Burcu hasn’t changed him for the better, is to take a deep breath in and then let it out. There could be other reasons to upset her to the point of tears. Burcu was a good and sensitive person with a heart of gold - it doesn’t take much to make her cry happy or sad tears.
“What happened?” He asks her softly.
His instincts scream at him to let his frustration and anger out, but he waits. Burcu, however, can’t seem to look at him any longer so she buries her face into his shirt.
“It was a mistake to come here.” Burcu whispers. “I should have stayed home.”
Something inside his chest roars in pride amidst the storm of feelings brewing inside of him. They’re in her childhood home, yet she’s referred to their apartment as home. A strange mix of pride, happiness, inner peace, and the urge to go up to the roof of the house and shout loud enough for the world to hear how much he loves her.
Completely out of character for him, though - so he resists.
He waits for Burcu to start talking and the more she talks the less he can reign his anger inside.
The shock of Kemal’s surprise visit wears off exactly the moment she wraps her arms around him and is surrounded by his warmth and by his familiar scent.
But then he does that maddening thing of his where he talks her into doing what he wants with just a single sentence and a simple touch and against her better judgement Burcu tells him about her day, about her family, and about how they seem to treat her as if she’s worse than a leper.
She can feel the heaviness and the burden she’s been carrying all day as she shares it with him. But the more she speaks, the tenser Kemal gets around her and the closer he holds her.
By the time she’s done, Kemal is wearing a murderous expression on his face and his hands are shaking. Yet despite that he leans over her and presses a kiss to the crown of her head.
He lets her go and heads for the door to yank it open. Except that as soon as he gets a hold of the door handle the door swings open and her sister is on the other side.
“There you are. It’s been ages. What’s going on here?”
“You’ll have to excuse us,” Kemal says through gritted teeth “We thought we’d speak in private so we don’t cause another scandal.”
Her sister looks at him oddly but doesn’t seem to catch the reference he’s making there.
“Move.” Kemal says coldly and all but pushes her out of his way.
“What’s going on here, Burcu?” Bahar demands and it’s the first time she’s addressed Burcu by name all day.
Burcu shakes her head and takes off after Kemal. She shouldn’t have let him go outside.
“Who do you think you are?!” She hears Kemal ask loudly and she gulps.
Burcu runs out of the house and onto the paved pathway leading to where her family had gathered.
“What is the meaning of this?!” Her father’s voice booms around them and the scrape of a chair tells her that he’s on his feet now.
“That’s precisely what I want to know.” Kemal says just as Burcu reaches him. “What is the meaning of all of you treating Burcu like she’s your mortal enemy instead of your very own flesh and blood.”
“Kemal…” Burcu says quietly and pulls on his arm.
“Burcu, let me go.” Kemal says without sparing her a glance.
“Listen, man, I don’t know who you think you are but you’re in our house uninvited. Celebrity or not, you will respect us.” Mehmet interferes and stands up as well to join his father.
Burcu’s anxiety skyrockets. With her brother and Kemal both being professional hotheads, it’s only a matter of time before fists start flying and it’s the last thing Burcu wants.
“Kemal, yapma. It will only make things worse.” Burcu is just about begging him in an urgent whisper.
“What’s worse than your own family treating you like yesterday’s garbage, Burcu?” Kemal asks. “What’s worse than them judging you for something you were fully within your right to do? What’s worse than the people who are meant to love and protect you unconditionally making you cry your eyes out and feel as if you are a terrible person for simply following your heart?”
She watches as Kemal’s gaze shifts from one member of her family to another and he gives each adult his trademark glare.
“You!” He barks Tuncay’s way and tilts his head to look at him “Do you have a problem with Burcu for breaking your engagement off?”
“It worked out for the best.” Tuncay shrugs. “My wife dotes on me in all the ways Burcu never did.”
Kemal’s head tilts in a way that Burcu knows all too well means nothing good.
“Because you’re a lazy piece of…” Kemal growls at the man.
Burcu jumps in front of him and despite knowing that her family would find it inappropriate, she grabs both his cheeks.
“Kemal!” She exclaims. “Bana bak. Bana bak. Look at me!”
He does, eventually, though and that’s what matters to Burcu. But then his hands come to cup her own and he shifts each to his lips for a peck before taking them off his face.
“You harlot!” Comes a scream behind them and Burcu turns around and sees her sister headed their way, full steam ahead.
“How dare you be so familiar with a man who isn’t your husband?! And in front of guests, too?! Haven’t you shamed us enough?! Haven’t you fractured her family enough?! You will leave once again and we will be left to carry your shame, just like before!” Bahar's screams are venomous and sharp and the words cut through Burcu like sharp glass.
If hearts could shatter, Burcu's would be in pieces by now.
But then Kemal steps in front of her and puts an arm around her own.
“You do not speak to your sister like this in my presence.” Kemal warns her.
“Why the hell do you care?!” Bahar spits back at him.
“Because she’s the love of my life and if I’m lucky she will agree to marry me and God willing, one day, she will be the mother of my children.” Kemal states with a calmness that gives Burcu whiplash.
But as soon as Kemal’s words settle within her, the anxiety and fear evaporate. She squeezes Kemal’s arm that is holding onto her own as a crystal clear image forms into her head. Of their small beach wedding - in the summer when it’s hot and they’re both bare-footed. With her in a flowing yet simple white dress and him, perhaps for the first time ever that she’s known him for, in a suit. Then that picture morphs into a little girl who looks just like Kemal but has her smile. And then there’s a curly younger boy who can’t sit still but has a deep love of reading and never misses a chance to cuddle.
“Get out of my house!” Her mother joins the screaming match. “Get out of my house and take that ungrateful brat with you! I raised you! I fed you! I clothed you! And this is what you do with your life?!” Her mother screams at her.
The shrill voice of her mother’s yelling definitely pulled Burcu out of her daydream.
“You did raise her and it’s a damned miracle that Burcu grew up to be such a kind, loving, gold-hearted angel of a woman if this is the nest of vipers she grew up in!” Kemal replies sharply to her mother and then promptly turns his back on her.
“What do you want to do?” He asks her with none of the hostility he has been exhibiting towards her family.
Burcu takes a deep breath and for the first time that day - she smiles.
The answer has never been clearer.
“Let’s go home.”
She can see some of the tension in Kemal’s shoulders ease.
Burcu caresses his cheek for just a moment. “I’ll go get the bag.”
Kemal nods curtly.
She feels his eyes on her all the way until she gets into the house.
She tosses her house clothes back into the duffle bag and throws the strap over her shoulder.
By the time she gets back the tension hasn’t dissipated one bit. Instead, she finds them all in some sort of silent stand off. At least Tuncay and his wife seem to have left.
A small mercy.
Kemal reaches for the bag once she approaches him and Burcu lets him take it. She’s learned her lesson about letting him carry things for her.
She takes Kemal’s hand in hers and squeezes it tightly. Yet she can’t bring herself to to go just yet.
Instead she turns on her heel to face her family and makes sure to stand straight and hold her head high.
“I’m sorry my following my heart has caused you pain and grief.” Burcu says and she genuinely means it. “I know there were more delicate and polite ways to do it. But it’s in the past now. We cannot change the past. I’m also sorry that you’re so desperate to cling to the disservice that was done to you that you can’t even find it in you to treat me like you’ve treated me all my life. Like you treat each other.
Burcu pauses and takes a breath as she feels like emotion is about to overwhelm her.
“But the truth is that while, in hindsight, I’d do it with more tact, I would have still broken the engagement off. I was never happy with Tuncay. I was never able to be myself to him. But Kemal makes him happier than I have ever been. With Kemal the sky's the limit. And you would see just how good of a man he is if you’d only let go of your prejudices.”
She can feel Kemal’s hand squeeze her own and she pauses for just a moment to revel in the warmth of his touch.
“I will never apologise for loving this man or for the life that we have. I will never apologise for who I have bloomed into being thanks to his love and confidence in me. I’m only sorry that you don’t recognize it. Perhaps one day you will. And when that day comes, I think we might be able to talk.”
Burcu takes a moment to take a good look at every single member of her family.
“But until that moment comes it’s best if we don’t stay in contact and we don’t see each other.”
It hurts her more than she can put into words to say these words. It hurts her to tear herself from the people she’s loved unconditionally her entire life. And the same people who should have loved her back but didn’t.
“Naturally, if the children ever need me for anything or wish to speak to me - they’re welcome to. They don’t deserve to lose their aunt just because their parents have a problem with me.”
Burcu gives them a curt nod, because she doesn’t have the heart to actually tell them goodbye and turns around to face Kemal.
“Home?” he asks her with a soft smile and the pride on his face is obvious.
“Home.” she smiles back at him.
She lets Kemal lead her to the gate and it’s then that she notices the car.
“You didn’t buy that car, did you?” Burcu asks with some hesitance.
“I rented it.” Kemal laughs. “I was in a hurry to get to you.”
Which reminds Burcu to finally ask “What made you come?”
“I went home, had lunch, and then I realised the apartment is way too big without you.” Kemal shrugs. “Catch.” he calls out to her.
Burcu catches the car keys as Kemal walks to the passenger side and settles in. She tosses the bag in the backseat and follows Kemal’s example.
“How come I’m driving?” Burcu asks him as she settles into the seat and adjusts it to her taste.
Kemal, bless him, has already adjusted her mirror.
“You know the area. I had to use a map and ask people to get here.” Kemal grins. “I don’t want to do it again and you’re not good with directions.”
Burcu reaches over to his seat and smacks his arm as she turns the key into the ignition.
“Hey!”
“It’s alright,” Kemal consoles her with a cheeky grin. “We’ll drive home, you’ll have time to get used to it.”
Burcu pouts at him “You know, if you keep being mean to me, I will take the path with the most potholes.” she warns him. “And to think I was considering taking the scenic route and showing you the sea.”
“As you wish, Burcu’m.” Kemal grins and mimics zipping his mouth shut.
In the end they do end up taking the scenic route and they take shifts until they reach home. They also make several stops along the way and make up for Burcu’s ruined plans with her family by making their own little vacation.
It wasn’t how Burcu planned to spend her time off from work, but it most definitely turned out better than she could have ever imagined - just as everything else in her life ever since Kemal stormed into her life and turned it upside down.
She may have temporarily lost her family, but as long as Kemal is by her side Burcu knows without a doubt that she will always have a home.