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Clover faced down Dalv with a determined expression, and around him he could feel all of the monsters tensing up for the battle to come. Penilla was tightening her grip around her pencil, Flier was blinking a lot as he tried to steel himself, Crispy Scroll was muttering about the best way to defeat a tsundere antagonist… everyone was getting ready for what was to come.
The end of the decrepit ruins was close by, Clover could feel it. It was beyond the doors ahead, beyond the home of the fanged monster that remained aloof to their pleas for him to listen and their attempts at reason. Even now, Dalv seemed to think nothing expect that Clover was some mysterious shadow of his past.
And thinking along such lines only seemed to be leading them closer to a tense and violent confrontation.
Even now, Dalv seemed to be readying himself. His hood was down, and his demeanor radiated reluctant feelings at the task ahead of himself. Nevertheless, the horned man wasn’t backing down.
"Only one thing left to do now..." Dalv whispered as he extended his arms out from his cloak and momentarily charged up with electricity. "Either leave this place...or I'll have to-!”
“alright, vampy, time to tone down on the theatrics.”
Dalv flinched and whipped his head in every direction. “H-Huh?”
Clover and the other monsters looked around, too. A new voice had joined them, one deeper than anybody else’s.
Then out of nowhere, the world clicked and went dark as if somebody had hit a light switch. Clover stumbled back as his eyes tried to adjust to the sudden darkness.
The other monsters were panicking.
“W-Who turned out the lights?!” Flier mumbled worriedly.
“I CAN’T SEE!!! I’VE GONE BLIND!!! AAAAAGGHHH!” Crispy Scroll yelled out.
“Would you stop yelling, Crispy?!” Penilla chastised.
“Sheesh, what’s transpiring now?” Rorrim questioned in a concerned tone.
“Um, can whoever turned off the lights turn them back on? I’d love that! Thank you!” Sweet Corn asked in as polite of a tone as she could muster.
“Yes, that would be preferable, hushh hushh!” Decibat added.
“aw, hush up, pals. the lights’ll come back on. just gimme a sec.” The deep voice from before chimed in again, sounding out through the darkness. There was a casual tone to its voice that Clover thought was strange.
“A-Ah! W-What’s going on?!” He heard Dalv stammer through the thick blackness, as Clover began to hear the sounds of a scuffle breaking out.
Then the light flickered back on, and Clover and the other monsters gasped as they witnessed Dalv being held up by the back of his cloak, panicking and waving his arms and legs as he tried to escape the grip of his attacker.
The attacker was someone Clover never expected to see: a white-furred cat with a broad grin, wearing an orange jacket with black stripes lining the sleeves and a fur collar, as well as black and orange-striped gym shorts and- weirdly enough- fuzzy pink slippers.
“gotcha.” The cat said, his grin widening as one of his arms hoisted Dalv up by the neck of his cloak, while his other hand (paw?) was stuffed nonchalantly in his jacket pocket.
“W-What are you doing? P-Please, let me go!” Dalv begged, as he fruitlessly grasped at the neck of his cloak, trying to free himself.
“what, and give ya more screentime? nah, don’t feel like it. you’re just kinda destined for obscurity, y’know? ” The cat denied casually, shrugging his shoulders. “ anyway, I got stuff to take care of here, so your part’s over. here, why don’t you go on vacation? maybe it’ll help ya work off those depressing vibes of yours.”
And then the cat’s other paw emerged from the jacket pocket it was hidden in, and snapped its fingers. The cat let go just as there was a huge puff of smoke, and in the spot where Dalv had been before was a large, tightly wrapped present. Duct tape had been applied and reapplied over the lid, making it impossible to open. Postcards were stuck to the side of the box, tiny air holes were cut into the box, a sloppily scrawled message reading ‘overseas shipping’ had been taped in the corner, and a tag with the rather callous message of ‘Handle Without Care’ was sticking out of the lid.
Dalv’s confused shouts came from inside the box.
“W-Wait, what’s going on? What are you d-doing? I d-don’t understand!” Dalv sputtered, as he pounded on the walls of the box. “Let me o-out!”
“what, and have ya miss out on our all-exclusive vacation? nah, that’s lame. how could i deny ya a trip people would die for?” The cat said, letting out a tiny snicker as he did.
Before Clover or any of the monsters had even a millisecond to react or to try and free Dalv from the box, everyone except the cat yelled out as the ceiling directly above exploded, sending showers of purple bricks falling into the water nearby. A plane was hovering there, and the door of the plane was thrown open. A rope with a hook attached was tossed out the door. It fell down onto the box, and the cat lazily reached over and attached the hook to the present’s ribbon.
“have fun at abu dhabi. also known as your new home. don’t bother to write. ” The cat said, his grin widening. He raised his hand and lazily waved. “see ya never, vampy.”
“W-Wait! No! NO!” Dalv was sputtering, but the plane was already lifting off, carrying the present through the hole in the roof. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-” Dalv yelled, his voice trailing off as the present disappeared beyond the hole, both the plane and the box with Dalv inside flying off to who-knew-where.
“No! Dalv! It can’t be!” Penilla yelled, shaking her head.
“You monster! How could you do this?” Rorrim chastised, glaring at the jacket-wearing cat.
“do what? rid the world of a forgettable character? yeah, you sure are right there. ” The cat replied, nonplussed. “ anyways, fuhgeddabout dat. i’m here for the rest of ya, actually.”
The cat glanced around at the dim bridge everyone was standing in. “mmm, maybe here ain’t the best place to settle this, though. howsabout we change the scenery?”
Then the cat snapped his fingers again, and Clover felt his entire world warping and changing around him.
Before he knew it, he and the monsters were standing in a long hallway, surrounded by cracked and eroded wooden walls and dark, damp wooden rafters, with farm supplies laying around behind the pillars surrounding them. Daylight shined through the windows lining the halls.
“W-Where are we?” Sweet Corn gasped, her tiny head looking around at everything.
“Eek! Sunlight! Hushh hushh!” Decibat screeched, shielding his face from the sun’s rays with his wings.
“Hey, what’s going on? Where did you take us?” Clover demanded, his nerves spiking as the cat monster stood a few feet away from them, staring at them.
“welcome to arbuckle barn. aka, the place where i’m gonna lay the smackdown on ya. ” The cat monster replied. “ but hey, i’m gettin’ ahead of myself. name’s sansfield, and i got a score to settle with all seven of ya.”
“But we didn’t do anything to you! We don’t even know who you are!” Clover replied confusedly.
“pfft, playing dumb ain’t your style, cowboy kid. ya can’t pull the wool over my eyes. ” Sansfield replied, narrowing his eyes at Clover. “ see, here’s the deal. i got word from an anonymous source that pretty much all of ya have been posting cringe.”
The cat wagged his finger at them.
“not cool, dudes. ” He put his finger down and gave them a harsher glare. “ and second of all, i remember you’re genocides.”
“My what?” Clover replied blankly.
“so yeah, i’m gonna dunk ya and your merry band of misfits. simple as that. ” Sansfield continued, shrugging again. “ before we get to the dunking, got any last words? i might compose your epitaph if i feel bored enough after this.”
“I’m so confused.” Penilla said, making a face as she held her pencil.
“Then we’re in the same boat, hushhity hushhity hushh.” Decibat said, before blinking rapidly. “Wait, why did I say that? I didn’t mean to say that.”
Crispy Scroll looked panicked. “Wait… oh NO! This cat guy… he must be from an AU! And by being around him, we’re getting exposed to his AU-ness! Meaning… the wrath of the FANDOM menace! OH GOD, NO!!!” He grabbed his head and shook it back and forth. “The writing quality’s only going to get worse from here! We’re doomed!!! Doomed to Sansfield’s eternal CRINGE!!!”
“uh, I think ya mean your eternal cringe. i’m way cooler than any of ya and that’s without even trying.” Sansfield interjected, putting on swag glasses he generated out of thin air.
“Well, no way are we being stopped here! We’re gonna get out of- wherever here is!” Clover said, glancing around at the room as he pointed at Sansfield.
“Yeah, we’re gonna get out of here, because we’re the Friends in-!” Flier began, only to promptly receive a pie to the face.
“nuh-uh. none of those jokes here.” Sansfield said, wagging his finger again as he kept grinning a grinnily grin grinning sort of grin. His swag glasses were gone because yes. “this is my world, and here, there’s no room for buddy chum pals positioned in elevated areas. only undergarf… oh, and bad mondays of the simulated kind. speaking of which…”
Sansfield extended his arms, and the world rumbled. Everyone watched as their surroundings morphed and fell away, turning the hallway into a simple, seemingly endless corridor. The windows shattered, letting in even more sunlight.
“Oh noes!!! It’s STARTING!!!” Crispy Scroll screamed, waving his arms and entire body dramatically as if he were a rejected Muppets character. All he was missing was the flip-top mouth.
“Yeah, well, uh…” Clover said, his confidence waning when he saw his surroundings change. “We’re still going to get out of here, no matter what! We’ll get past you! Maybe!”
Sansfield snickered rather obnoxiously. “that’s your answer? heheheh. you really think you can beat ME?!”
“U-Um…” Penilla tried, raising a finger to answer.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Rorrim said, sweating a bit despite being a mirror and that making no sense.
“A bad feeling? What is this, some kind of Star Wars?” Flier said blankly. He then received another pie to the face.
“see, this is what I meant when i said you were posting cringe. proof’s in the pudding, and cringe-flavored pudding doesn’t taste good, i’ll tell ya that much. ” Sansfield said. “ in fact, i’m startin’ to see how annoying you all are, especially flipper flapper and that referential piece of paper. i’m gonna enjoy teaching all of you the pecking order.”
And then Clover and friends desperately and confusedly faced down Sansfield, who got into a lazy looking stance, because all he is is lazy.
CLOVER AND CO.
VS.
Sansfield
ENGAGING BATTLE MODE
The surroundings flashed, and everyone was suddenly black and white. A vein throbbed in Sansfield’s head as he grinned wider and raised his paws.
“alright. ” Sansfield stated confidently, as his paws crackled with electricity and two horrific looking floating bear heads materialized and floated behind him. “ show me whatcha got.”
And then it started, and Clover felt information go for a leisurely stroll in his omori-inspired headspace.
* Feels like it’s gonna be a bad Monday.
Clover had absolutely no idea what was going on. Apparently Crispy did, but it would be amazing if anything that scroll said ever made sense.
“Oh, god, we’re done for! This guy seems even worse than Dalv!” Penilla stammered, shaking her head.
“Yeah, and that’s saying something!” Flier added, grimacing. He promptly received yet another pie to the face. Flier wiped it away. “H-Hey, what was that one for?!”
“because I felt like it.” Sansfield replied, and he snickered again.
“This is too much. We don’t need to get into a fight over something we didn’t do. Clover, we should try to approach this peacefully, don’t you think?” Rorrim said, turning to Clover with a pleasant look.
Clover nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
“Wait, we don’t have to fight! We should show each other love instead!” Sweet Corn said, because her brain is 100% love and 0% anything else. She hopped forwards and smiled at Sansfield. “Hi, nice to meet you, wanna be friends?!”
“no.”
Sansfield teleported up to Sweet Corn and unceremoniously kicked her. She sailed out the window and disappeared, giggling obviously all the while.
Everyone stared at Sansfield in shock and horror. All thoughts of doing a pacifist route were erased from existence, and Clover could see clips of lets’ players doing the Sans fight in his mind’s eye. After all, that 100% was the only part of Undertale that mattered, according to some of the undertale fanbase.
“He’s dead .” Penilla declared simply, her pencil turning into the Real Knife as evil Chara possessed her.
Rorrim’s eyes turned blood-red. “Clover… genocide him! ”
Clover loaded his gun with friendliness pellets that he got through the power of plot convenience. “ Prepare to be Juandiced. ”
Then Clover fired, scoring a direct hit on Sansfield with the friendliness pellets inside his gun. He flinched, but quickly regained his grin. He had barely taken any damage from the shot.
Then Sansfield snapped his fingers, and a table larger than any of them appeared in the middle of the hallway. A panting Odie stood idly by at the top of the table, staring at nothing while a Garfield clone casually walked up to it, then gave it a nice, solid kick.
Odie yipped and went flying off the table, falling (out of trouble) towards Clover and friends, who dodged the attack. But as Odie hit the ground, he exploded, sending spinning bones flying in every direction.
Another Odie appeared on the table and was booted off by Garfield, only for another Odie to appear and take its place. More and more Odie clones kept appearing, only to be kicked off the table and towards Clover and friends.
The group kept dodging the attacks, Crispy Scroll even deciding to slice some of the bones in half to show off again.
* This is becoming a real catfight.
Penilla then swung with the Real Knife, and Sansfield lost a bit more HP. Clover took aim again, but it was too late: Sansfield teleported out of the path of their shot and spread his arms out.
One of the giant bear heads from earlier, a Pooky blaster, popped into existence and took aim, its eyes glowing with feral malice as power gathered in its mouth. Clover gripped his hat and dived to the side, but not only was another Pooky blaster already fully materialized and prepping another blast, but the blast from the first blaster had left behind a vibrating black energy sphere.
“Guys, I think this is a little too intense for me!” Flier commented shakily, trembling as he flew out of the way of the second blaster’s attack. “Maybe we should call this off and go-” Flier had failed to notice the pulsing black sphere, which exploded with the force of a bomb directly behind Flier. The tiny flying monster screamed like a teenage girl and went flying out another one of the windows. “HOOOMMMMEEE-!”
Then there was a pause, and Flier said: “I’m okay!”
However Sansfield threw yet another pie out the window, and the pie became a heat seeking missile that hit Flier even though it shouldn’t have been able to. Clover could hear the Deltarune explosion sound outside the window.
“that’ll teach ya to keep your lame references to yourself, mr. ‘how-do-you-do-fellow-kids. ’” Sansfield commented, snickering with obvious glee, as Flier was removed from the fight.
“U-Uhm… I’m beginning to think this was a mistake, hushh hushh!” Decibat sputtered worriedly.
However, the rest of the group didn’t give a crap what Decibat thought. Clover, Penilla, and Rorrim were too busy being in full vengeance route mode, and Crispy Scroll was too hyped up on the power of being an epic anime protagonist to notice anything but his epic Super Saiyan hair he spontaneously got because the author wanted to put it on him.
Rorrim then made glass shards appear all around Sansfield and fly into him, sticking the sharp ends into his body. This did a bit more damage, but Sansfield still wasn’t down. Even when he flinched while taking damage, he could still return to grinning like the sans impersonator he was without breaking a sweat.
* Sansfield is grinning.
Then Sansfield raised a finger, and he could have very well done an ‘uhm actually’ statement with that kind of pose. But instead he decided his Sans copying had to reach new levels of zany, so his finger glowed blue.
Clover’s soul of juandice instead became a soul of agryria and the gravity got heavier than before. Bones began to slide along the ground towards Clover and the crew. Clover, Penilla, and Crispy Scroll all jumped over them. Rorrim, who had more brain cells than anyone else did at the moment, simply went around the bones instead. How does a mirror have brain cells? Who knows, who really cares. Decibat hovered far above, where none of the bones had any chance of hitting him.
Then Sansfield pointed off to the side, and Odie went rushing at them as if they were made of bones he needed to chew on. Thankfully Clover used his juandice blast, and Odie was vaporized amidst a giant yellow laser beam.
“wow, you just straight up genocided Odie. if he had any semblance of a brain that could realize he just got dead, i’d be crying my eyes out just like fanon sans undertale. too bad i don’t care enough to try.” Sansfield said, shrugging his shoulders like it didn’t matter.
* You don’t feel any remorse.
Clover responded by firing another shot at Sansfield, damaging him even further and putting his HP below half. However, Sansfield responded by flipping off reality itself and forcing Clover, Penilla, Rorrim, Decibat, and Crispy Scroll into your average everyday Garfield comic strip, filled with jokes that were almost never funny, oh-so relatable humor, and the depressing life story of jon arbuckle that kept being handwaved by a certain fat orange cat.
In the first panel, Jon came strolling in, frowning. “Where… is… my… pipe?” He said, and Clover and co. had to dodge the words as they went flying past them.
In the third panel, Garfield came strolling in. He would be smoking a fat blunt, but that’s Ralsei territory, so he was instead stroking a pipe so iconic that it would give one man on the Lasagna chat channel over half an hour of things to talk about just concerning that one single pipe.
Garfield began smoking some weed’s using the pipe, which doesn’t make sense but then again none of this does. Puffs of smoke popped out of the pipe and floated above Clover and pals, then descended downwards to try and make them breathe it in. Clover and pals, who were trapped in the second panel, avoided each puff of smoke that came out of the pipe.
Of course, Mr. Jonathan Q. Belt Buckle wasn’t too happy about this, and opened his mouth all the way to yell: “GAAAAARRRRFFFIIIEEELLLDDD!” Each letter of the yelling turned into a projectile, and Crispy Scroll got hit in the face by one of the L’s.
“No! I’m not supposed to take the L like this!” Crispy Scroll protested as his glorious Saiyan hair disintegrated from the force of the L. It was such a sad moment that Penilla made her suitcase appear and got out her Alexa to play Despacito.
For like five seconds before Mondaymania flattened Penilla’s Alexa.
“ah ah ah. ” Sansfield chastised, wagging his finger. “ the only sick tunes we get to listen to here is my own, pencil lead head. you should make like the bikini bottom citizens and push your lame tunes somewhere else.”
Then the comic strip panel disappeared and Penilla, in retaliation to Sansfield’s comment, slashed with the Real Knife. It did even more damage, Sansfield’s HP creeping closer to 0.
But then…
B O R G O R.
A giant cheesy burger appeared, one straight out of a Burger King or Carl’s Jr. advertisement. Sansfield was drooling hungrily, and the burger began to fly over the genocidal friends in morally questionable places, dripping grease down onto them.
The group dodged the grease drips, and Penilla even tried to slash one with the Real Knife so she could show off like Crispy. However, liquids don’t work that way, and the grease melted the knife into a puddle.
“Nooooo!” Chara said using Penilla’s voice (Chara was still possessing Penilla.) Without the knife Chara wasn’t anything anyone cared about so they were erased from existence. However, Penilla always came prepared, and the spirit of the undertale speedrunning community possessed her as she equipped the Burnt Pan.
Penilla then used her Burnt Pan as a baseball bat as Clover fired a pellet at her, which she swung at Sansfield to do even more damage. The pan had a strange semblance of inanimate object plot armor and didn’t crack in half from the force of the pellet.
But then Mondaymania quieted down and stopped playing, and Sansfield let out a bored yawn.
“man, i thought this battle would be more exciting, but so far it’s kinda eh. this really is a monday. ” Sansfield said, blinking once. “ time for phase 2: naptime.”
Then there was a puff of smoke and Sansfield was sleeping in his bed Garfield-style, completely ignoring the entire battle altogether.
* He’s a cat that likes to snooze.
Two huge rows of Z’s appeared and began to move up and down. Clover and friends dodged to the left and right, trying to stay in between the two rows. Some of the Z’s smacked them but they didn’t take too much damage.
* You feel like you’re being toyed with.
Clover then fired his gun. However the plot had never given him the chance to fire at a stationary target, and yes that is a poor writing excuse but who really cares. It missed and Sansfield not only took no damage, but recovered some of his HP.
Then sheep began to appear on both sides of the hallway and BAAAAA loudly as they ran around, hopping over each other and trying to run into the crew. However Rorrim, who was quickly getting tired of this shit, simply snapped his fingers and caused glass shards to stick themselves into all of the sheep, dusting them instantly. Why did they dust? Because the author said so, that’s why.
* You’re starting to feel drowsy.
Crispy Scroll then tried to take a leaf out of Street Fighter’s book and perform a Hadouken. However, it fizzled out the moment it traveled out of his ribbons. Crispy still had the L from earlier sitting on his head and it was ruining all of his attacks.
This skipped the entire party’s tune because of bullcrap senseless video game logic, and Sansfield healed the rest of his HP up because he had no more unique attacks to use and the author wanted to get to phase 3.
Then Sansfield, still inside his bed, ascended up to the ceiling and vanished just as a large alarm clock made its presence known in the center of the hallway. The alarm clock began to ring loudly, and eighth notes began to fly in all directions, filling the entire hallway with projectiles.
Clover, Penilla, and Rorrim all dodged it. Crispy Scroll simply kept slicing at every note that approached him. Decibat, however…
“Nooo… NOOO…. TOO MUCH NOISE!! TOO MUCH NOOOIIISSEEEE!!!” Decibat screeched, as the alarm clock’s sounds caused his brain to melt. Decibat then spontaneously combusted, removing the bat from the entire equation.
Just as the alarm clock seemed like it was reaching the end of its ring, a huge metal hand shot down from the ceiling, smashing its fist into the alarm clock and flattening into a pancake made of broken metal. Metal bits flew off of it, which the group had to avoid just as the alarm clock blinked out of existence and the metal hand slowly retracted back towards the shadowy ceiling.
Then.
“PHASE 3.”
“GORE MODE.”
There was a loud and discordant sound as Sansfield descended from the ceiling- only, the white jacket-wearing cat from before was gone. In its place was a huge animalistic colossus, made out of metal and bone, arms snaking out of its gaster blaster shoulders. Its blue and orange eyes glowed brightly as it pulsed violently with electricity, giving off an aura of power like nothing else Sansfield had shown during the fight.
The electric power was so strong that the pan Penilla was holding promptly melted.
“No! NO! My only remaining weapon!” Penilla cried, realizing she would never be able to get a True 100% world record speedrun like this. The tiny lizard became too ashamed to keep living and grabbed her eraser tail, rubbing her entire body all over and completely erasing her.
Meanwhile, Sansfield settled his giant mechanical hands on the dialogue box as the third and final phase started.
Clover, scowling with self-righteous de-temmie-nation, quickly fired a shot at Sansfield to deal some damage.
Sansfield responded by opening his maw wide as his arms retracted into his body. Multiple sharp-tipped limbs extended out of his shoulders instead, and Clover saw them begin to snake around the battlefield and take aim, preparing to throw themselves at the remaining members of the group. Only Clover, Rorrim, and Crispy Scroll were left by now.
Clover dodged to the side as the limbs shot forwards, sticking their spikes into the ground and failing to impale him. Crispy Scroll grabbed the limb that tried to impale him and snapped it over his body, removing the L from the top of his head and giving him some of his power back.
Rorrim, however…
“AUUUGGGHH!”
Rorrim was promptly speared straight through by one of the sharp limbs, and he dangled there at the end of the tip like Mario dangling off of Sephiroth’s sword. Rorrim’s entire body had shattered in the process.
“Damn it, I’m broken again.” Rorrim complained, lowering his eyelids and looking unamused. He shrugged. “Guess I’ll die, then, darlings.” He collapsed into a pile of glass shards, disappearing from the fight.
Sansfield roared as he scored another kill on the battlefield. Another one down, only two left to go.
* Time is collapsing.
The sharp limbs retracted, and Sansfield’s usual metal arms extended back out, just as Clover and Crispy Scroll teamed up, firing a juandice blast and a hamekameka at Sansfield together to make him take even more damage.
Sansfield responded by raising one of his hands, revealing sand udertael’s face to be on it. “You kill my bother, paperus… I kill you!!!” The sans hand said, as its flaming blue eye glowed and shot out a blue laser that began to travel horizontally across the hallway. Clover and Crispy, however, were both familiar with blue attacks, and stayed still to avoid getting hurt.
Then Sansfield raised his other hand, revealing a demonic Garfield face on the palm. “I hate Mondays. I also hate genocides, juandices, crunchy rolls, and One Piece the anime. Prepare to die.” The hand shot out an orange laser that traveled the other way across the battlefield, which Clover and Crispy both moved through.
Then both hands were raised. “We will stop… you’re GENOSLIDES!!! ” The hands said as they both shot lasers. The blue one moved first, then the orange one, prompting Clover and Crispy to both stand still, then move.
* You can feel yourself vanishing.
* Crispy Scroll’s headcanons are also vanishing.
“Nooo! My precious headcanons!” The scroll cried as he watched Satoru Iwata rise from the grave to confirm that Mario was, indeed, not a communist like Matpat had been suggesting. “My whole life is a lieee!!!!”
“Get ahold of yourself, pardner! We’ve got some JUSTICE to deal out!” Clover shouted as the TF2 devs appeared and confirmed that Pyro’s gender was not male or female, but ‘yes.’ This destroyed yet another one of Crispy’s headcanons.
Clover then fired another shot at Sansfield, who roared in pain but quickly recovered and began to attack again. Sansfield began to contort and writhe, and he morphed, becoming a giant Garfield head with razor-sharp teeth that overtook the entire hallway.
Clover, gritting his teeth, grabbed Crispy’s ribbon arm and pulled him along as the scroll kept crying about his destroyed headcanons. Two of the sharp teeth retracted, giving Clover a space to fit himself and Crispy into just as the giant Garfield head bit down. Neither Clover nor Crispy were speared by the sharp teeth.
This went on for several more bites before the giant Garfield head vanished, allowing the monstrous, mechanical, bone-constructed giant to take its place once again.
* You can hear your victims whispering.
* The victims are the Undertale fanbase.
* They’re saying ‘Gaster is real 1997.’
Clover fired two more shots, which slammed into Sansfield’s chest and elicited another pained roar from the beast. However, the beast’s patience seemed to wane as he let out an even louder roar and vanished again.
Clover and Crispy were forced into yet another comic strip. This time, Sans from Undertale walked into the left panel, while Garfield strolled into the right panel. They both readied up, with Sans starting to send whirling bones descending into the middle panel, and Garfield taking aim with a Wild East-patented wild revolver and firing shots at Clover and Crispy.
This attack was easily the hardest attack, as verified by anyone who ever played Bad Monday simulator. Crispy soon found his papery body getting holes punched through it as Garfield’s gun successfully genoslided him.
“Live a hero… DIE A HERO!!!” Crispy bellowed, and he began to raise his arms to charge up a Spirit Bomb just before he could turn to dust. However, Sansfield had reappeared by then, and Clover was helpless to watch as the metal giant lazily plucked Crispy with his boney fingers and threw the scroll into his mouth. “ARRGGGHHH! THISISNTTHELASTYOULLHEAROF-” Crispy began, before Sansfield bit down on the scroll and turned him into dust easily.
Clover grimaced and sweated profusely as Sansfield grinned widely, staring down at the hatted human.
* The arbiter of juandice stands alone.
Clover, however, wasn’t one to back down. They took aim with their gun and fired yet another yellow laser blast. Sansfield’s HP dropped even further, almost reaching 0… yet, despite the wear and tear over his body, the giant still wasn’t giving in. Sansfield grinned and disappeared again as a new attack appeared.
A large, overgrown corpse of Odie overtook the hallway, and Clover found broken and chipped teeth hanging over him. He watched as one by one, the teeth began to wiggle and tremble before falling from Odie’s mouth, breaking in two the moment they hit the ground. Clover ducked, dodged, and dived past the falling teeth, and managed to survive the attack.
Clover felt his eyes glow with JUSTICE as he knew it was time to kill.
* This is it.
Clover took aim one last time, and with a final shot so impactful that it would make Thanos shake and cry, Clover’s friendliness pellet bullets slammed into Sansfield.
Sansfield froze, his eyes widened in shock as his broken body trembled. There was a loud sound of destruction that Clover took to be a signal of his success. Sansfield’s body began to be racked with explosions as it self-destructed, and the metal giant violently exploded, filling the hallway with a burst of light.
The light cleared, living the same white jacket-wearing cat from before. He looked exhausted, and his paws were clutching his body. His chest was full of bleeding bullet holes, and blood was leaking from his mouth.
“wow. you got me. ” He said, as he gazed sadly down at the bullet holes making his body resemble swiss cheese. “ that’s too bad. i didn’t think i’d actually lose. ” Sansfield let out a sigh. “ oh well. ” He gently closed his eyes. “ ...do what ya gotta do.”
Clover smirked and grinned.
It was time to bring…
JUSTICE!!! JUSTICE JUSTICE JUSTICE!!! WOO-HAAA!!!
Clover then took aim with his toy gun, which quickly morphed into the ‘No-U’ revolver, and aimed right between Sansfield’s eyes. It would be easy to kill Sansfield. Then he could genoslide and snowgrave the rest of the underground! It would be easy!
Clover’s finger then tightened around the trigger, and…
SLAM!
Sansfield suddenly teleported up to Clover, slamming one of his hands around Clover’s arm and twisting it violently, preventing the revolver from aiming at Sansfield.
“hah. did you really think i was gonna let ya genocide me. please. you’re 100 years too early to be facing me.” Sansfield mocked, as his eyes glowed blue and orange again and he gripped Clover’s arm tightly to prevent the hatted human from regaining his grip over the revolver.
Clover trembled and gritted his teeth. No! It couldn’t end like this! He still had to defeat Sansfield and get his friends back, his friends in-
“ Okay, Sansfield, time to stop. ”
“wait, what.”
The ceiling broke upon as Godfield himself descended upon the battlefield, shaking his head at Sansfield.
“ Unfortunately for you, Sansfield, I have bad news. The author said no. ” Godfield reported, grinning and shaking his head. “ The author has decided you aren’t going to win the battle. ”
“aw, what? are you for real? ” Sansfield grumbled as he glared at Clover and then back at Godfield. “ cmon, i just about had this kid.”
“ The author wants to write an extremely specific scene as an ending to this April Fools chapter, so he mandates that you have to lose the battle. Apologies. ”
Sansfield grumbled a bit more. “welp, cowboy kid, it’s your lucky day. you’re fortunate that you’ve got friends in h-”
Godfield made Sansfield’s mouth zip itself closed with an actual zipper. “ Ah, ah, ah. It’s still too early to make that joke. ”
Sansfield unzipped his mouth. “man, this blows. what is this, some kinda deus ex machina?”
“ Exactly. ”
Sansfield grumbled even more. “...and people tell me I don’t have a good reason to hate mondays. ” Sansfield let go of Clover’s arm. “ welp, if i have to lose, then i lose. godfield, can you just get it over with already so i can go eat lasagna with odierus in undergarf heaven?”
“ As you wish. ” Godfield raised a hand and Sansfield was promptly crushed by a thousand tons of Sans fan mail that had never found its way to Sans’ stuffed mailbox. At least half of the mail was people asking Sans if he was single.
“Darn, what an awful way to die. Even I think this is too much for a genoslide route.” Clover admit, twirling his revolver for no particular reason except that he felt like it.
“ It is what the author thought of, so it’s the way things be. Speaking of, the author is running out of ideas for funny jokes, so let’s just hurry things along so we can cut to the end of the chapter already. ”
Godfield then clapped his hands, and every single one of Clover’s friends were magically revived and teleported next to him.
“Yay! We’re alive!” Sweet Corn cheered.
“I KNEW HEROES NEVER DIE!” Crispy Scroll laughed triumphantly.
“Ah, yes indeed!” Rorrim agreed.
“...Errrggghhh.” Decibat mumbled, looking frustrated and ready to bash his head into a wall.
“I’m still so confused.” Flier commented, making a face. Another pie hit him in the face. “Hey! Who threw THAT one? I thought Sans Garfield was dead!”
I did. Hi, I’m the author.
Flier sighed dejectedly. “I hate when the plot’s against me.” He began to lick the pie off his face, and he brightened as he did. “Ooh, blueberry.”
Penilla facepalmed. “Okay, I’m ready for this chapter to end. This is getting old very fast.”
Godfield nodded. “ I couldn’t agree more. Skipping to the last section now. ” Godfield then clapped his hands, causing a chapter transition to occur right that mome-
Clover and his friends were standing at that one area of Undertale after the barrier is broken and the monsters went to the surface. He could see the rising sun in the distance, the towering skyscrapers of that one surface city that nobody ever talks about, and more mountains in the distance (possible locations of Undertale 2, 3, and 4?)
“Yay!!! We did it! We’ve reached where the sun is yellow !” Sweet Corn cheered, just before she was transmogrified into a marketable plushie that would win awards for its cuteness.
“Yes, it appears we’ve reached the end of the tale .” Rorrim added, rubbing his chin. He had a chin now, just because.
“Good thing we finally got out from under the ground, hushhity hushhity hushh!” Decibat chimed in, as he put on the Batman mask and literally became Batman.
“And we went to so many kawaii and epic places , too!” Crispy added, as Goku descended down to give the scroll a high-five and a free selfie.
“Ugh… I feel so dizzy. As if were high up during the whole thing. Even so, I’m glad we’re here!” Penilla said, as she sat down and took a break by drawing fan art of every AU sans to ever exist in the history of the universe.
“I think the important thing is that we’re all friends .” Flier said, putting on the swag sunglasses and putting a 360 no-scope sniper rifle over his shoulders. “Right, Clover?”
“You know what, guys?” Clover said, as he tipped his cowboy hat. His skin turned yellow, glowing brightly with the power of juandice. He also began to roll the juan dice just because he could. Then he gazed off into the sunset and smiled.
“This really was the Friends in High Places.”
FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES
by ThatOneThunderousMan
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