Work Text:
Such desperate attempts as this were alien to Juandissimo. He was so used to getting his way that having to work for his achievements was absolutely ridiculous in his eyes; more often than not, he could rip off his shirt and shoot some of his classic charm around and that was it- everything worked out for him.
Expect for Wanda, of course.
Logically, he should have known that they simply weren't right for eachother, they were young after all, and people are rejected for many factors, even if they are a magnificent specimen like the purple fairy was. But Juandissimo was anything but logical. He was GORGEOUS... and he was dumped. Impossible. Humiliating. Stupid, honestly. Her loss, he would think, basking in the attention of everyone else now aware of his availability. And then the worst possible thing happened. She found someone new. Someone awkwardly tall, lanky and airheaded who only won Wanda over because he made her happy and helped her feel good. RIDICULOUS. He was Juandissimo Magnifico: there shouldn't even have been competition here...
Needless to say, Juan was never a fan of Cosmo... not that the green fairy minded much, being that he probably hated Juandissimo five times more. Seeing the two of them acting so happy and romantic, especially out where Juan (being a fairy as well) could see it plain as day, was sickening. That should be him. HIM. He was the one who was deserving of Wanda's love. It was Juandissimo who was right for her, really, and he knew it. He had never felt about anybody the way he felt about Wanda, and the thought of never being able to have her again... well, he wouldn't use the term "scared", not macho enough, but it frightened him. Every relationship he had given a chance to ended up the same way, with him just coming to the conclusion that it didn't feel the same, that the only person he was meant for was Mrs Wanda Fairywinkle. But then there was the obstacle…
Fairyworld could be a vast community, but having the contacts he did meant that Juandissimo had easy access to one who may have a solution. The God of Love's identity was well known, and his services were available to whoever provided him with enough evidence and convincing... well... Juandissimo couldn't exactly explain what it was that he did- matchmaking magic really wasn't his focus- but Cupid knew what he was doing. He'd been doing it for ten-thousand years... ish. Probably would have been polite to brush up on his trivia before facing the man himself.
The first few times Juandissimo found the guts to walk up to Cupid's mansion, it didn't exactly go smoothly. Surprisingly: Juandissimo was just planning to flex at the man and politely ask for a few love arrows to borrow, and then bring right back. He even sealed it off with a wink! Stunning!
And Cupid still had the audacity to shut the door on his face! He must have had a lot of fairies beg for his services like that, the jaded lack of reaction told the purple fairy everything he needed to know, but Juan was different! Really! He knew this was what needed to happen, and after pursuing Wanda for so long, he was certain that he could charm Cupid into helping him with his happy ending.
So he did. Well, not exactly "charming", but he showed up. Almost routinely, he was there, at his house, the love division, Fairywood, each time striking a new sexy pose in some variation of tight-fitting clothes and a flower held between his pearly whites. But everything still ended up with the same response.
"No."
"What!?"
"I already told you- if I give you an arrow you'll misuse it."
"How can you know!?"
"Because its my job."
So stubborn, Juandissimo would think to himself, so dedicated to his craft and he still doesn't know true love like I do…
Neither of them could have marked the date on a calendar, but after enough time... Juandissimo showing up became more of an expectation than an inconvenience. In fact, Cupid liked having somebody there to rant to about how his producers tell him to dress, to side-eye to when Jorgen would come out with some ridiculous, misinformed comment, to just... sit there. That's more what he did now. Just sat there, watching Cupid work over all the intricacies of his multiple jobs. Difficult jobs, at that. Yeah, if Juandissimo had to keep track of all of this and then deal with beggars at his doorstep too, he would have reacted much less level-headedly than the God... he should apologize. Those love arrows didn't even feel as important anymore. Cupid mostly used them as a last resort anyway- everything else he did just worked out perfectly. He would humbly insist that it's just how things work after that much experience, but Juandissimo still considered what he did impressive, especially as such a romantic himself. Perhaps that was the better course of action? Shower Wanda with flowers and affection as a gentleman instead of a heartthrob: that was probably how Cosmo got her to be with him in the first place!
...He never really acted on this new plan, though. While uncharacteristic for him, it seemed to slip his mind immediately. He wasn't thinking about Wanda much anymore... he barely felt the confusion of being replaced, or the sting of his first rejection. It was pleasant, actually, and a little strange to think that he could have been living this way for the past millennium, just letting it go and allowing her to be content, even if he did deem it "wrong". It sounded so easy in retrospect.
"I told you."
"Told me what?" Juandissimo had slid this into a conversation once, the two of them on the balcony of Cupid's mansion and sipping coffee that he always made just a bit too strong.
"That getting those love arrows would be stupid."
"... I didn't say it was stupid... I just said it didn't feel as important anymore."
Was he just going soft? Or was it that his motivations were lying elsewhere all of a sudden. His reflection, perhaps? Or maybe his newly assigned godson...
Cupid shrugged.
"If I gave you it you'd be tired of Wanda in, like, a day..." Cupid sipped.
"Impossible! My quest for her love is never-ending!"
"Eh.. I think it's more that you're just petty."
"..."
"It's fine, we all get like that. And it's okay- Wanda just isn't right for you."
"..." Again, there was that pit.. not fear, but... uncertainty? "Perhaps." His eyes snapped up at Cupid, almost pleading before remembering he was meant to be Fairyworld's most macho resident and smoldering again. "But this isn't it, is it? Do you know if there is- I mean- any information on the person that MIGHT be?"
Cupid's smug grin dropped: Juandissimo wasn't often so... on edge.
"I- If I knew who it was I would be doing everything in my power to get you there. You'd be a good boyfriend. At least to them."
"I do try..."
The god was unresponsive for just a moment, leaving the atmosphere golden and full of the echoes and ambience of Fairyworld in the distance, before Juandissimo felt a subtle brush on his fingertips. Cupid had reached across the table and given his hand a squeeze, and for the first time in his life, Juan had absolutely nothing to say. There was literally a floor length mirror next to them, and he could not have given less of a damn.
"You'll be fine."
"...Ok."
What? What a stupid reply!? Had he been drained of all his charm? What was his issue!?
Once back in the young Buxaplenty's bedroom, he was finally provided some time to actually think. And not just about his hair and body and beautiful face, but ACTUALLY think.
Never before in his life had he felt so stupid, not even after COSMO took his place as Wanda's partner. It was like... he felt... the opposite of sexy. He felt stupid and pathetic and couldn't pinpoint why he so wanted it to be the morning already to go check in on Fairywood. He felt ridiculous for wanting to bring the God surprise takeaway coffee before he started working and see his face light up when he noticed.
On top of all, he was a little bitter that Cupid had been right, again, about the whole thing: he hadn't been missing Wanda. He was missing being in love.