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The wheels of his bike kicked up a sandy cloud as V pulled up in front of Judy’s lake cabin. It was quiet up there, so far from the traffic and crowds of Night City, it was almost eerie. And it was exactly what he needed.
V took his time activating the generator and picking out a drink inside the cabin, cold fluorescent lights humming in the back of the fridge. It felt strange to be there without his friend, and all the memories rushed over him as he paced between the rooms, looking for something to smoke. He thought about how lucky Judy was to have gotten out, considering the number of times everything had gone sideways. But that was just V’s life: a never-ending barrage of shit going south, and he kept dragging people into the fray with him, never meaning to. Once V had grabbed a beer and a pack of cigs, he stepped outside and swiftly scaled the side of the cabin onto the roof. A cheap plastic chair and an old boombox sat atop the house, covered in sand and dust from years of unuse. V only grabbed the boombox, moving it closer to the edge of the roof that faced the lake, wiping away the sand where he aimed to sit.
After setting his beer and cigarettes down, and tuning the radio to Pacific Dreams, V’s whole body finally relaxed. He swung his feet as they dangled off the edge, and his gaze swept the water in front of him, watching the gentle breeze throw little waves against the walls of the dam in the distance. The moment was serene, or as close to serene as things got for V.
But the silence only lasted a few seconds before V saw Johnny glitch into his peripheral vision. “Fuck me. Sure is a view.”
V popped the cap off his drink. “Thought you hated it out here.”
“Nah,” Johnny sat next to V, hanging his legs off the rooftop and leaning back on his elbows. “Just the bitch that owns the place.”
“Fuck you.”
Johnny sat up a little to look at V. “Jesus, I was kidding; Judy’s whatever. What crawled up your ass and died?”
V rolled his eyes and turned his head slightly to avoid Johnny seeing his face, despite knowing Johnny only saw what he did. “Maybe I’m just not in the mood for your shit today, ever consider that?”
“Fuck,” Johnny ran his chrome fingers through his hair, “guess I’ll leave you alone. You’re no fun to talk to when you get bitchy, anyway.”
With that, Johnny’s effigy flickered away and appeared on a piece of corrugated metal floating in the center of the lake. He laid back and put his sunglasses on as he watched the clouds blow by above them.
V sighed. As much as he and Johnny got along, agreed on most things, the rocker could just be…a lot. Maybe if V was older, if they had met when Johnny was still alive, the two would have shared a few drinks and chatted about the state of the world, then gone their separate ways. They’d each think back to that moment and say, “damn, what a choom.” But it was different when that “choom” was in V’s head twenty-four-seven.
Jackie's death could have also had something to do with V’s abnormally short temper. Since the heist, V’s life had just been a non-stop rush, everything moving at a hundred miles an hour, hardly ever letting up long enough for V to feel anything. The numbness had started when he stepped out of that Delamain and into the No-Tell. But V was finally ready to feel again, and Johnny’s incessant thoughts, his opinions and observations bouncing off the walls of their shared skull were just another reminder. V tried not to think of Johnny that way, as the thing that got Jackie killed, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t believe it.
Jackie would still be alive if it weren’t for that fucking heist on Arasaka. So would Evelyn, T-Bug, Scorpion. Hell, maybe Judy wouldn’t have skipped town. He couldn't even save Takemura, and despite being lukewarm on the guy, V just couldn’t stand that his shitty situation had claimed another life. What if there was something to those cards Misty always played with? What if all those lives were just the hands of Fate trying to make up for Johnny cheating death, trying to balance things out again?
V felt an anger bubbling up that he had been pushing down since this all started. He felt like he could scream, punch a hole through the radio next to him, rip the entire cabin apart, bolt by bolt. Just as V squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep breath to steady himself, he saw a call coming through in the corner of his eye. He didn’t check who it was as he answered.
“Got a gig for me?” V said in a short but deceptively calm tone, like he wasn’t just seething seconds ago.
“Uh, hey to you too. And I’m great, thanks for askin’.” Kerry joked, though there was caution in his voice.
V’s eyes shot open and he enlarged the holo display to give Kerry his full attention. “Hey! Sorry, wasn’t tryin’ to be an ass, just didn’t realize who I was talkin’ to. What’s up?”
Kerry’s expression changed from hesitant worry to his usual easy grin. He knew Kerry would hate hearing it, but V found the older man incredibly easy to read. He wore his feelings with elegance, but they painted his face so clearly that V almost always knew what Kerry was thinking. And he loved it. It was so refreshing; in V's line of work, it was always best practice to hide one’s reactions, to become unreadable. He wouldn't say he'd perfected the art, but at this point, hardly anything could crack his stoic mask. Being able to judge Kerry's mood at a glance…well, V savored every glance he'd ever taken at the man.
“Ah, good. Thought you were mad at me for a sec.” Kerry’s shoulders seemed to loosen.
V chuckled as he tucked a wavy strand of teal hair behind his ear. “Mad at you? Nah, don’t think you could make me mad if you tried.”
“That a challenge?” Kerry laughed. “Anyway, guess what I found when I was out earlier!”
“Uh…donno. Another pop group that wants to cover your song?”
“Ha fuckin’ ha.” Kerry rolled his eyes and leaned out of frame for a moment, returning with a tall, oddly shaped bottle of liquor. “I found a tequila called V! Well, technically I think you’re supposed to read it as ‘Five’...but either way, made me think of you.”
V felt his heartbeat quicken. Since their fling on—and subsequent destruction of—Kovichek’s yacht, V and Kerry had been texting back and forth pretty regularly. He usually didn’t go more than a day without hearing from Kerry, and spent the night at his villa once or twice. Inevitably, he’d get a call from one of his fixers with a job that couldn’t wait, and V would always end up leaving before the ass-crack of dawn, long before Kerry woke up. He still wasn’t sure what it all meant. Kerry could have plenty of pretty young things to occupy his attention, if that’s what he wanted. V never really asked about his sex life—beyond establishing that they were both clean—but certainly the renowned Kerry Eurodyne kept a couple side pieces on call, right?
“Figured who better to share it with than the man himself,” Kerry continued with a purr, “So why don’t you get that sweet ass to my place and we can split it?”
That gravelly voice when Kerry flirted with him only made V’s chest pound harder. But the thought of returning to the chaos of the city, even if just to pass through on his way to North Oak, struck him with a fierce melancholy.
“Actually, uh…” V didn’t want to lie, but equally didn’t think it was fair to impart his bad mood onto Kerry. “Kinda got something going on right now.”
“Oh yeah?” Kerry lifted a brow, “Sounds serious. Always busy, huh?”
“Not, like, a job or anything. Just…” He couldn’t find the right words. What was it Misty always told him? Don't push people away, your friends want to listen. V didn’t believe it could be that simple. His friends had busy lives and their own shit to deal with. The last thing V wanted after a day of solving other people’s problems was to complain about his own.
“Hey, no, I get it.” Kerry's disappointment was evident on his face as his eyes dropped to the bottle in his hand. “Wasn’t too long ago I was really goin’ through some shit. But then, ya know, you broke into my house…”
V scoffed and couldn’t help but smile, Kerry smirking back.
“And you helped me get past it. Work through it. So just, ya know…if you need a shoulder to cry on, company for a stiff drink—whatever—just…call me?”
Kerry shifted uncomfortably on the holo, seemingly avoiding eye contact, and his voice was as gentle as it was after their kiss on the terrace of Dark Matter. He clearly wasn’t used to offering his support, and wasn’t sure what to say, but V knew the offer was genuine.
“Thanks, Ker.” V said, and Kerry nodded back.
Silence hung in the air like a thick smog, nearly suffocating. After a long pause, each man thinking of the best way to end the call, Johnny materialized next to V again.
“Oh for the love of—” Johnny rolled his entire head exaggeratedly, “Just fucking invite him to the cabin! God, watching you two dance around your feelings is exhausting. Congratulations, you’re both useless, you really deserve each other!” He shouted as he threw his hands up and walked out of V’s line of sight.
Good to know you approve, V thought as he shot an annoyed glance in Johnny's direction.
“Hey, um,” V played with the hair on the nape of his neck to ground himself as he asked, “Why don’t you meet me out past the dam, actually? I’ll shoot you the coords. Be nice to have someone around.”
Kerry’s eyes lit up, figuratively and literally as he received the directions. “Yeah, works for me. What’s out there, anyway?”
“Remember Laguna Bend?”
“I’m surprised you remember Laguna Bend.” Kerry eyed V up and down in his display.
V laughed, “I don’t; think I was still in diapers when it was flooded. Whatever, a friend of mine lived there when she was a kid; has this cabin on the edge of the lake. It’s the only thing out here, can’t miss it.”
“Got it. Be there in twenty,” Kerry leaned forward and gave a wink, “See ya, V.”
“Preem, see you soon.” V grinned and ended the call.
As the holo display closed out, Johnny glitched back into sight out on the lake, but his voice came from inside V's head. “See? Not so hard, was it?”
V rolled his eyes, “Yeah, it wasn’t. So why’d it take you so long with Rogue?”
He could just make out the glint of a silver middle finger in the distance, so V returned the gesture with enthusiasm. He couldn’t see it, but he felt Johnny’s amusement in the back of his mind.
Twenty minutes. Twenty minutes V had to be alone with his thoughts. Sure, that was his plan to begin with, but maybe Misty was right afterall. V turned up the radio to drown out the intrusive sorrow he'd come to the lake to process, and waited for Kerry to arrive.
About thirty minutes after their call—fashionably late, as to be expected—V heard the familiar sound of gravel and sand compacting under rubber. He looked over his shoulder toward the road to see a Delamain gingerly driving up to the house. The car hadn’t come to a complete stop before Kerry flung open the door and stepped out, several bottles of alcohol in hand, all held precariously by the neck between each of his fingers.
“Thanks, Del. Wasn’t about to muddy up my own ride, custom paint job cost me an arm and a leg. I’m not exaggerating, either. That fuckin’ gold plating cost about as much as my implants.” Kerry leaned in the driver’s side window to look at Delamain’s avatar.
“It’s always a pleasure, Mr. Eurodyne. Please give Mr. V my salutations!”
“Will do, buddy. Drive safe.” Kerry patted the roof of the car as it began backing down the sandy drive.
“Hey, handsome!” V called from the roof, “What’s a star like you doin’ at a dump like this?”
Kerry looked up, shielding his eyes from the glare of the setting sun. “Ah ya know: some klepto-punk from Heywood said he’d blow me if I came to a sketchy shack in the badlands. How could I pass up an opportunity like that?”
V laughed as he stood and walked to the front edge of the roof. “Looks like you came prepared,” he pointed to the bottles clinking against one another in Kerry's hand.
“And I’ve got a bottle with your name on it, too! Hey, mind throwing down a ladder or something? Not all of us have Zetatech spring shins, or whatever the fuck.” Kerry looked around the porch of the cabin for something to climb.
“Maybe you should get some. We could hop rooftops together in Japantown,” V hooked a utility ladder onto the rusted gutters in as secure a spot as he could find. “Nothin’ quite as thrilling as jumping a fifty foot gap between buildings.”
Kerry carefully tossed the bottles up one by one as V caught them and set them aside. He climbed the ladder swiftly, ignoring the disagreeable creaking of the disintegrating metal, and wrapped himself around V once he'd reached the top.
V returned the hug with a long tight squeeze, breathing in slowly to take in Kerry's cologne. It was rich and lively: synthetic hickory, tea leaves, and a hint of cigarette smoke. Kerry sighed as he tangled his fingers into dense, lush curls. “Think I’ll stick to hangin’ on to your hips while you speed around on that bike.” He said in a low tone, pulling back from the embrace to rest his arms over V's shoulders.
“Classic…romantic…can’t go wrong,” V pressed gentle yet heated kisses to Kerry’s lips in between words, each one lasting a little longer than the kiss before.
Kerry hummed with his lips pressed against V’s, fingers gripping teal strands, drinking in the sensation. “Tell me this rundown shed has a mattress in it somewhere,” He said in a breathy whisper.
V chuckled as he ran his hands down Kerry’s back, “Thought you were comin’ to listen to me bitch.”
Kerry placed one more hungry kiss against V’s lips before pushing him away and grabbing the bottles in another awkward grasp. “I brought a lot of booze, you never know what we might get up to.”
He sauntered over to the ledge facing the lake and sat down next to the radio, turning it down and uncapping V’s special drink. He looked back toward the ladder and beckoned V over to sit beside him as he opened the bottle. “Would you like the honor of trying the first sip?” He waved the tequila under his nose to take in its bouquet.
“Shouldn't we let it—what's it? ‘Breathe’ first?” V asked with a scoff, already knowing Kerry's answer as he sat.
Kerry shrugged, “Eh, figure what’s the point. Don’t think we’re drinkin’ for the flavor.”
V raised the bottle to his lips and took a heavy gulp before the strong scent could reach him. As soon as the liquor hit the back of his throat, his head filled with heat. He choked the alcohol down quickly as he began to cough. He didn’t love tequila at the best of times, but this one had a particular spice that didn’t seem to compliment its fruitiness in the slightest.
Kerry tried to hold back his laughter as he took the bottle back and tried a swig. “Oh, come on, it’s not that bad. It is bad, though.” He said as he took another drink.
V cleared his throat after his coughing fit, “It just surprised me, tequila’s not really my drink. Usually just a beer guy.”
Kerry rolled his eyes, “Yeah, we gotta work on that, you’re really missin’ out on some preem shit. Sure, I’m usually just drinkin’ to get drunk, but I love a good bourbon.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” V said quietly as he watched Kerry down a third of the bottle in a single breath. “Christ, how many livers have you gone through?” He asked, only somewhat joking.
Kerry sighed contentedly as he set the bottle aside, “Not as many as you’d think.”
V chuckled and shook his head, picking a cigarette out of the pack next to the radio and searching for a lighter.
“Didn’t think you smoked.” Kerry commented as he watched.
“Don’t; Johnny’s cravings have been drivin’ me insane, though.” V said, cigarette between his lips as he riffled through his pockets. “Guess I ain't startin’ now if I can’t find a fuckin’ lighter.”
Kerry snatched the cig out of V’s mouth and flicked it off the edge into the water below. “Good, it's not a habit you wanna get into.”
V eyed Kerry up and down as he stared out over the lake. “Rich comin’ from the gonk who started smoking at sixteen.”
“How’d you…” Kerry turned to look at V and suddenly remembered all Johnny’s memories were hidden behind those hazel eyes somewhere, repeating like a damaged record. “Right. You know, I fuckin’ hate that you know everything about me.”
V laughed and pulled Kerry against his side, arm around his shoulders. “Not everything, I'm missin’ about fifty years of detes.”
Kerry rolled his eyes as he leaned into V. “Been doin’ the same shit for the last fifty fuckin’ years, all documented in the scream sheets. I feel like I know next to nothing about you. They haven't started writing your biography yet.” He nudged V playfully.
“Hey, I'm an open book. Wanna know something about me, just gotta ask.”
The air between them went still as they both fell quiet. V could feel Kerry breathing against him, sometimes he would take a quick deep breath like he was about to talk, but ultimately decide not to say anything. After a few attempts, Kerry finally said, “I donno. I feel like anything you wanted me to know, you woulda just told me. Am I wrong?”
V pulled back slightly to look into Kerry’s eyes, though Kerry wouldn’t look into his. “Ker, I want you to know everything, if that’s what you wanna know. I guess I’m just not used to havin’ someone to talk to. Jackie used to be that guy, but me and him…that was a totally different thing than this.”
Another quiet moment passed before Kerry asked, “ ‘Kay, tell me about Jackie, then. Guy you did the heist with, right? Take it you were close?”
V looked out over the water, as a warm smile spread across his lips. “Yeah. Close might be an understatement, honestly. Him and Mama Welles took me in when I was thirteen; practically grew up together in the alley behind the Coyote. We were kinda inseparable for a while, but…” V's brows pushed together as he remembered the first time he and Jackie had ever fought. He tensed, squeezing Kerry against him more. “Got into a screamin’ match when he told me he was thinkin’ ‘bout joining the Valentinos. Never been a fan ‘a gangs, but Jack thought it was the best way to support his family. Wish I'd understood that at the time. Said some pretty stupid shit; shit I don't think he ever really forgot.”
Kerry listened intently as V went on. He hadn't noticed he was leaning his head against V's chest until the younger man's hand had slid up from his shoulder to his neck, absent-mindedly tracing the black and gold implant there.
“We didn't talk for about…4 years? Went out on my own for a bit, then thought maybe a fresh start away from this trash heap city was what I needed. It didn't work out, but Jackie was there when I moved back. Was like nothin’ happened, he just saw me in the bar and we caught up. He didn't end up staying with the Valentinos—thank fuckin’ Christ. Maybe we both just needed to fuck up for a while before we figured shit out.”
Kerry let his hand rest on V's thigh as he listened. He swiped his thumb in a leisurely arc back and forth while V talked. Hearing him describe his clash with Jackie, Kerry couldn't help but think back on his and Johnny’s spats. Sometimes it felt like they had more anger for each other than brotherly love. But back in their day, the list of things Kerry wouldn't do for Johnny was pretty damn short.
“Eventually we got that heist gig. Us and a runner Jackie knew, T-Bug. Cold as hell but killer on the Net. She almost made chairjock-ing look nova.”
By that point, the two were in a complete cuddle. V stroked just the tips of his fingers over Kerry's beard, up and down, stopping only to run a similar motion over his cyberware. Kerry's eyes fluttered closed at the feeling, hand still petting V's leg languidly. His voice was husky from relaxation, “You tried reaching out to T-Bug? Maybe she’s still in the game.”
V’s fingers paused, but his eyes stayed locked on the lake. “She was killed in the heist, too. Arasaka fried her. Iced Dex, not that I would’ve worked with him again if they hadn’t.” V’s voice softened as he seemed to start talking to himself more than Kerry, letting his thoughts escape out from between his lips. “Evelyn got fucked up so bad by Scavs that she just couldn't stand to be here anymore. Scorpion got wrecked by Kang Tao when that fuckin’ AV went down. Lost Takemura. At the hands of his own people, too. Seems I just have a way of gettin’ people killed no matter what I fuckin’ do…”
V’s voice was meek, hardly resembling the confident, almost cocky merc Kerry had come to know. He lifted his head to study V’s expression, but found his face nearly completely blank, save a furrowed brow. V whispered under his breath, “Only reason I’m not in the columbarium with ‘em is…”
Kerry’s whole demeanor shrank as he followed the thought. He pushed V’s hair behind his shoulder to run his fingers over the slots behind V’s ear. The top slot pulsated with a faint purple glow, almost like the Relic—Johnny—was breathing.
V’s eyes cast down, staring into his lap as he thought about the people he’d lost. He’d been holding it together, staying strong, for so long. He’d pushed through when he woke up at Vik’s, while Misty took care of him, at Jackie's ofrenda, when Judy needed him to be the strong one, when Panam and Mitch and River needed him to be the strong one.
He felt Kerry’s gentle hands, calloused from decades of guitar, graze over the slots and port on his neck, and down to pull his collar away. Kerry traced the flowers and thorns of V’s tattoo, from the side of his neck around to his throat, marking out each shape with care. The slow intentional contact made his eyes start to water. Kerry’s fingers traced around to the opposite side of his neck and up to caress his jaw. Then—slowly, gently, lovingly—Kerry pressed a light kiss to V’s neck, just beside his slots.
A single touch loaded with affection was all it took. As the sun took its last steps past the horizon, V broke down. The tears that had been building at the corners of his eyes poured down his face and neck, every cry he had held back clawed its way out of his throat. He couldn’t fight any of it anymore. V brought his knees up to his chest and strangled them, arms shaking as he lost control of himself.
Kerry's eyes went wide and his heart nearly stopped, and he did all he could think to do. He cautiously wrapped his arms around V and pulled him into a tight embrace, like the pressure would hold him together. Kerry didn’t know what to say that would help, so he just held V in silence as the merc fell apart.
“So many…so many people died because of me,” V managed through sniffles and quivering breaths. “All my friends, they deserve so much better, and all I bring them is death. I don’t…don’t know…how to stop hurting people.”
V wept into Kerry's chest, gripping his shirt for dear life, like he might pull away while V still needed him. It took V a while to notice the faintest feeling of a third hand gently squeezing his shoulder.
“It’s not your fault, kid.” Johnny’s voice sounded rough, like he might cry too, if he could. “Take it from a fucker who ruined the lives of everyone he ever met: this isn’t on you.”
The simulated touch was all Johnny could offer, but for V it comforted him more than he expected. V released his iron hold on Kerry's shirt to place his hand over the sensation of Johnny’s. “You didn’t ruin my life, Johnny,” V said aloud, still choking on his words, “You saved me.”
The grip on his shoulder vanished, replaced by a sensation of relief, of worth, of purpose washing over his mind, before Johnny's thoughts reduced to a murmur in the back of their head.
Kerry looked at V's hand on his own shoulder, and up to where Johnny should be standing. He'd never known Johnny to get emotional—unless he counted anger—but knowing he was trying to be there for V…
“If you can forgive Johnny, after everything,” Kerry whispered soothingly in V’s ear, “I know you can forgive yourself, too. People don’t die because they meet you, V. I’d probably be dead if I hadn’t, you know that?”
V’s sobbing lasted for several minutes, Kerry slowly escalating from a comforting hug to pressing kisses to the top of V's head and wiping tears from his cheeks as he whispered “it's okay, you're okay” over and over. Gradually, the sniffles slowed and V was no longer shaking. It took a short time longer before he was able to lift his head again and look at Kerry. V tried not to look him in the eyes, embarrassed by his meltdown. But Kerry placed soothing hands on either side of V’s face and tilted his chin up.
“This world is fucked up,” Kerry's voice had never sounded so gentle, and V melted into his touch as he listened. “This city is fucked up. None of that is your fault. Every person you’ve lost was someone who believed so much in what you would do, that they were willing to risk their life for you to keep going.”
V nodded slowly, processing Kerry’s words.
“So just…live. Whatever you do with your life will be in honor of those who sacrificed for you. You don’t have to change the world, you just have to be part of it.”
Kerry’s eyes jumped around V’s face for any sign that he was receptive. V’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes softened, already much less red than before.
“You mean so much to me, Kerry.”
Kerry knew. And he knew those words had been chosen carefully. Night City doesn’t allow for happy endings. Not for her last true rockstar, not for her rising star in the streets. Losing Jackie, losing Johnny, losing the brother you chose ; a heart can only take so much before it hardens. Neither V nor Kerry had the courage to ask themselves if they were willing to risk loving someone again. What if in the end this love hurt even more?
“You mean a lot to me too, V.” Kerry ran his thumbs under V’s eyes one more time, clearing up the last of his tears. “You know, it’s a weird feeling, knowin’ he’s up there.” Kerry ran his fingers over V's forehead and into his coiffed hair, smoothing any stray wisps back into place. “But honestly? I’m glad. Means you’re never alone, you know there’s always someone who wants you around. Now if he could just shut the fuck up every once in a while.”
V let out a breathy laugh, tension in his shoulders and back releasing as he leaned his forehead against Kerry’s. They stayed that way for a long while, V placing his hands over Kerry’s in his lap.
“Thank you.” V said softly.
“Don't mention it, just returning a favor. Now can we please go inside? The cold and I don’t really mesh.”
V smiled and lifted his head, “I can make us some coffee, if you want.”
Kerry leaned forward to give V a lasting kiss. He ran his hands down V's cheeks, neck, chest, and thighs, finally grabbing his wrists and squeezing tight. “Why don't I make the coffee, you just chill.”
Kerry stood, pulling V up and into a hug as he did, and walked them both to the ladder. V shrugged Kerry’s arm off his shoulders and vaulted over the roof’s edge to land gracefully on the porch.
“Fuckin’ show-off.” Kerry shook his head as he descended the rickety ladder himself. V turned to smile at him as he reached the bottom.
“Just wanted you to know I’m still a badass, I don’t make a habit of…what happened up there.” His tone was playful at first, but faded to uncertainty as he wondered if Kerry thought less of him now.
Kerry ushered V into the cabin and to the couch, pushing the younger man’s shoulders against the back cushions and straddling his lap. He ran his fingers up V’s neck and jaw into his hair, Kerry’s nails scratching his scalp gently. V let his head lull back and his eyes drift closed as the sensation sent a shiver tingling down his spine.
“Was never a doubt in my mind,” Kerry whispered, his hot breath engulfing V’s ear. “You are Night City’s badboy, afterall. Couldn’t find a more badass motherfucker if I tried.”
As V felt Kerry’s tongue trace the shell of his ear, his nerves melted away, leaving his body slack. His hands slid lazily up Kerry’s thighs and waist, then slowly back down to hold his hips in a gentle grasp. Suddenly V’s head jerked back as Kerry balled his hand into a fist in V’s hair and pulled, giving himself a better angle to bite down on V’s neck, the merc letting out an unbecoming gasp and gripping Kerry’s belt.
Kerry chuckled, a deep rumble thick with desire, and stood quickly, sauntering to the kitchen. As he pulled a can of water from the fridge and emptied it into the coffee maker’s reservoir, he said, “You still want that coffee, or did you wanna warm up some other way?”
V’s face was already flush, and he stared with hungry eyes from across the cabin. He rose slowly, taking his time to admire Kerry head to toe. The older man wore an artificially distressed tank top, although clearly having been tailored. A black and gray pattern printed across the side of the garment drew the eye to Kerry’s waist, practically begging to be used for leverage. V’s eyes swept down his back as Kerry lifted his hands above him to rummage through the cabinets for coffee grounds. Tight leather fit to his frame, stretched over his toned legs and ass. V felt a rush of heat travel from his head to his groin as memories of their Seamurai expedition flooded his mind. All the things he’d wanted to do to Kerry on that boat, but hadn’t had the time before the barrels worked their explosive magic.
V approached slowly, images of Kerry bent over the coffee table flashing in his mind as he rested his hands on the older man’s hips. Kerry smiled a sly smile at the touch, and reached behind him to stroke his hand down V’s hair. He looked back with sultry eyes, his gaze demanding to be kissed. V happily obliged, then continued pressing lazy kisses down his lover’s neck and shoulder.
“Wasn't sure you'd be in the mood after…” Kerry breathed the words, trailing off as he tilted his head back and to the side to give V more real estate to cover. V let his free hand glide up Kerry's chest and wrap loosely around the older man's throat, Kerry letting out a shaking breath in response.
“What can I say?” V's fingers clamped down on either side of Kerry’s throat, making him cry out a desperate moan. V slowly slid his tongue up Kerry's neck before reaching his ear and whispering in a low growl, “Guess I can't resist you.”
Kerry had fucked hundreds of people before, done things that the average person would only ever experience in a Braindance, with all sorts of characters; from executives on the national board, to no-name groupies trying to find their fifteen minutes any way they could. Despite the relatively tame nature of the evening's events, something different hung in the air around them. The smell of sex, sweet with affection and missing that musk of loneliness, of needing distraction, of clinging to an encounter only meant for one night. Maybe it was the heightened emotions from earlier in the evening. Maybe it was the contrast between V's zealous enjoyment and the gentle, delicate touch he used to caress every part of Kerry. Maybe it was the fact that this was the first time in a long time that Kerry had slept with the same person twice in a row. Or maybe it was the way V read him, responding to even the subtlest of ques from his body with more and more passion. It had been a very, very long time since Kerry had felt so satisfied from so little. Well, little in comparison to the orgies and one night stands he'd grown accustomed to.
V made love like it was the last time. And with the chip devouring his neurons, it very well could have been.
***
They collapsed together in a heaving puddle and remained that way for a quiet moment, each catching their breath, before V let out a heavy sigh.
“God damn…” was all he could muster.
Kerry smiled, and traced his fingers along V’s jaw, coaxing him to turn his head. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Kerry whispered as he pressed his lips to V’s.
V smiled into the kiss, then pulled back slightly. “Get you something to clean up?”
“I’d appreciate that.”
V gave his lover a quick peck before he stood and walked to the door. “Fuck, we forgot about the coffee!” he called out as he passed through the living space on his way to the bathroom to clean up himself.
Kerry chuckled as he rolled onto his back and smoothed his hair back into place. “It’s probably cold by now, just pour it out!” he shouted back.
V returned to the bedroom with a bowl of warm water and a washcloth, placing them on the bedside table next to Kerry. “That’s a waste. Could just microwave it in the morning.”
“You microwave your coffee? Christ,” Kerry sneered as he sat up against the headboard. V chuckled and laid down on his side, propping his head on his fist and watching as Kerry cleaned up, gaze following the panel lines around his implants.
“You are stunning ,” V remarked softly, “You know that?”
Kerry grinned as he watched V’s eyes scan over his body. “Sure hope so, spent a lotta fuckin’ money to look this good.”
“ Fuck , I’d plow you every hour on the hour if I had the fuckin’ time,” V ran his finger tips over Kerry's chest, leaving light kisses on his shoulder and bicep, before hovering over Kerry to kiss him proper.
“Don’t know if I could keep up with you,” Kerry mumbled between heated kisses.
“Been holdin’ your own so far,” V whispered back as he let his hands wonder along Kerry’s abdomen. He turned to lay on his side, never more than an inch from Kerry’s lips, as V and his lover shifted down the bed to rest their heads on the pillows.
“We really gotta fuck more often, though. Got me a little pent up, the way you kept me waiting.” Kerry wrapped his arms around V’s neck as the younger man’s slunk around his waist.
V gave a little chuckle, “I could tell. I know you and I haven’t screwed in a while, but thought maybe you’d find your own fun.”
Kerry frowned and pulled away slightly, “What, you think I’d sleep around on you?”
“No, no!” V’s eyes widened as he realized how his statement came off. “No, I just mean, ya know, you’ve got a line of people out the door who would fuck you, and I wasn’t sure if we were exclusive or—I mean, you’re a rockstar, if you wanted—”
V was cut off as Kerry pressed a finger over his lips. “I’m only really interested in one person. This merc I happened to run into a while ago, mighta heard of him. He’s a pretty big deal, or so they say.” He teased.
A flattered smirk slowly crept across V’s face as he felt his cheeks heat up. “Damn, that’s one lucky gonk.”
Kerry shook his head, pressing one last kiss on V’s lips before rolling over and turning out the light. “Don’t have anywhere to be tonight, do you?” He asked as he pressed his back against V’s chest.
V wrapped the older man up in a tight embrace. “Nah, not ‘til tomorrow afternoon.”
“You’ll be here when I wake up then, right?”
V nuzzled his nose into the space between Kerry’s neck and shoulder. “Yeah, I will. Promise.”
***
V woke to his internal alarm ringing in his ears and light bleeding through the blinds above the bed. He groaned and wiped his hands down his face before opening his eyes and raising his display to check the time. 10 a.m., despite his alarm always being set for 8.
“Let’cha sleep in. You’re welcome.” Pixels slowly began developing into a Johnny Silverhand shape in the corner of V’s Kiroshis as they booted up. He turned his head to bring the rocker into view, sitting on the end table with a cigarette in hand.
“Mornin’, kid .”
“Don’t call me kid,” V thought about swatting at Johnny, but remembered it would be no use.
“You kids have fun?” Johnny smirked, but there was an odd tone to his voice.
“Yeah, actually. Wanna hear about it?” V teased, putting his arms over his eyes to block out the daylight a little longer.
Johnny rolled his eyes and grimaced, “Ugh, I’d really rather not. Seen more of Kerry in the last few weeks than the twenty years we knew each other.”
“You’re just jealous you never hit it when you were alive.” V began to sit up, stretching with a yawn.
Johnny stood and glitched to the other side of the room, looking down to where Kerry slept. “Oh, he gave me plenty of opportunity. Bastard wasn’t exactly subtle. Luckily for you both , bitchy twinks aren't my type.”
Before V could snap back, he heard rustling under the covers. He looked down to Kerry as the man began to stir. Johnny vanished from view to give the lovers privacy.
“You on a call?” Kerry mumbled, still half asleep.
V ran the backs of his fingers over Kerry’s neck and shoulder. “Huh?”
“Who you talkin’ to?”
“Oh,” V chuckled as he watched Kerry roll over to face him. “Just Johnny. Was I talking out loud?”
Kerry’s eye fluttered open a little, and he stared at V with a confused look, “Little worrying that you didn't notice.”
“Usually just talk to him like normal when it’s just me ‘n him. I don’t think about it ‘less we’re out in public.”
Kerry stretched before sitting up next to V. “Guess I get that. Still, coulda been a little quieter. I need my beauty sleep, ya know.”
“Well speakin’ of tens, that's about the time right now,” V said, wrapping his arm around Kerry’s shoulder and pulling him into a gentle hug, “You’re a busy man, probably got shit to do?”
Kerry groaned as he rested his head on V’s shoulder. “I’m sure I do…”
They sat that way a little while longer, V pressing slow kisses to Kerry’s forehead and cheeks as the older man took his time to wake up.
“Alright,” Kerry said after some time, “should probably go do my job or whatever.”
“Want me to make you some coffee?” V asked, admiring Kerry as he rose from bed and stretched upward, still unclothed from the night before.
“A fresh batch, please! Microwaved fuckin’ day-old coffee, Jesus…” Kerry trailed off as he stepped over the bathroom threshold, the automatic door closing behind him.
V dressed himself quickly and set the coffee to brew, deciding to wait outside to soak in a bit more calm before he had to rush back to the city. As he sat on the pier, squinting against the sun reflecting off the water, Johnny materialized on the surface of the lake, standing with crossed arms.
“What's with the biblical pose?” V said, glancing down at Johnny's boots, soles perfectly aligned with the stagnant water.
Johnny smirked, “Said I was your savior yesterday, didn't ya?” He put his hands together in prayer, “Oh our Father, who art in–”
“We’re not gonna talk about yesterday.”
Johnny paused as he locked eyes with V, stern and stubborn. Much like Johnny himself.
“Fair enough,” He disappeared briefly and reappeared at V's side, hanging his feet off the pier and resting his chin in his hand. “Hope you got it all outta your system. For your sake.”
V rolled his eyes. Johnny took off his sunglasses and turned to face V more directly, “Wanted to say something during all the shit yesterday, but kinda figured you woulda preferred to hear it from Kerry.”
“Said I don't wanna talk about it, Johnny.”
The rocker knocked his metal knuckles against the pier, making a sound only V could hear to gain his attention. “Then don't talk, damn it. Just shut it and listen to me for once.”
V eyed him from his peripheral, staying silent so Johnny could talk.
Johnny sighed before starting. “Look, been in your brain a while. Poked through your gray matter, seen those dark corners you don't tell anyone about.”
V turned his gaze back to the lake, blood pressure rising.
“I just need to say…you've done a lot of good, kid. Helped a lotta people who probably didn't deserve it. You got a good heart. Too good for this God forsaken city. And there's people who need you out there.”
“Johnny…” V looked down at his hands, winding his fingers around and around. “You don't have to…I'm not gonna…”
“You can lie to yourself, V,” Johnny reached out and placed a pixelated hand on the merc's shoulder, “But I feel everything. Been there myself, once. Know what I did? When I felt like the world was fallin’ apart around me, and I couldn't do shit to stop it?”
As he stared at his hands, still ringing nervously, V saw his necklace swinging. That bullet, warped and crumpled, acted as a reminder and a warning all at once.
“Started a band about it.” He said, voice weak.
Johnny shook his head, “Nah, that was Kerry. I just screamed my throat raw ‘til I thought people got the message. Most change I ever made was dropping that bomb; didn't know it would be the last. And look, Arasaka rebuilt like it was nothing. But you,” he poked at V's chest, finger passing through the bullet, “you're out there making folks’ lives better. Got me thinkin’: maybe that's the way to do it. To bring about some real change.”
V didn't look at him, but Johnny felt a glimmer of pride somewhere deep inside. “Look, if nothin’ else, stick around for Kerry. Hate to admit it, but he's doin’ good, and that's thanks to you.”
“Nah, that Samurai reunion–”
Johnny flickered to standing and crossed his arms, towering over V. “He'd miss you. And I'd be pissed at you for leaving my best friend high and dry. Got it?”
V swallowed roughly as he nodded, staring up at Johnny.
“Good. Tired of bein’ nice to ya.” Johnny sat back down, closer to V this time. A short moment of silence passed before Johnny spoke up again. “Least you could do is light one up for me. Call it a token of gratitude.”
V scoffed and shook his head, smiling all the while. “Sure, Johnny, but this is the last.”
As he placed a cigarette between his lips and prepared to light it, V saw Kerry exit the cabin from the corner of his eye. His hair was wet and tussled, and all he wore were his boxers. Or were those V's boxers?
Kerry sat down next to V on the end of the pier, Johnny's effigy scattering then fading as their forms collided. Kerry looked from the cigarette in V's mouth to the lighter in his hand before quickly tearing them both away and chucking them out into the water
V didn't have much time to react, just watching as his things sank into the lake. “Johnny requested that one.” he muttered with a pout.
“Yeah, yeah, all I'm hearin’ ‘s excuses. Besides, Johnny's a bad influence, or had you not realized that by now?” Kerry leaned into him and pushed a cup into his hand, still poised to flick his lighter on. V sipped at the coffee, bitter and stale. Kerry took a long swig himself, sighing as he finished.
“Funny.” He said under his breath, hardly voiced.
“What?” V asked, setting his drink aside and leaning back on his palms.
“Keep havin’ moments like this, where everything's quiet, stands still for a while. Always with you…”
V glanced over to Kerry, the older man staring forward with eyes locked on the lake, index finger nervously tapping his coffee cup.
“Feels kinda like…time's waitin’ on us. Could…could get used to it…” It took him a moment to gather his courage, but Kerry turned his head to look V in the eye. “Ya know?”
A tentative question asked with his brows, subtle hints of fear and hope trading places in his eyes back and forth, back and forth. V leaned forward, moving closer so their legs touched. He grazed the backs of his fingers up Kerry's throat before coaxing him by the chin into a gentle, slow, passionate kiss. V pulled away after a moment and traced Kerry's bottom lip with his thumb.
“Yeah…think I could, too.”
Kerry tried to suppress the wide grin creeping onto his lips, but it pushed through despite his best efforts. As V looked longer into Kerry's relieved eyes, he remembered something Kerry had mentioned in passing the night before.
“What’d you mean, last night; you’d be dead if you hadn’t met me?”
Kerry’s expression fell, his face almost looking neutral. But, as usual, V could see through him. “Doesn’t matter now. That’s all behind me.”
His face still inches away from Kerry’s, V whispered, “I mean…if you need to talk—”
“What’s there to talk about?” Kerry chuckled, “You kinda swooped in and fixed my life. Basically your job, isn't it? Fix people’s shit? Explains why it was so easy for you.”
V grinned back and placed a hand on Kerry’s chest, tracing the faint panel lines around his implants. “It's just…I dunno. I want you to know you're allowed to be you with me. I don't give a shit that you're famous. ‘Course I knew who you were before Johnny got lodged in my skull, but I wasn't, like, a fan of your music or anything.”
“Damn, makes me feel so much better about myself,” Kerry teased.
V scoffed and could feel his face start to heat, “No, not like I hated your music, that's not what I…” he took a deep breath to compose himself before continuing in a softer tone, “Ker, I like you a lot. And I know I'm just some punk-ass gonk from nowhere, always was, but I don't ever wanna seem like I'm after your eddies.”
Kerry stared at V with an incredulous look. “V, you wouldn't let me buy you coffee at Caliente's. Six bucks. You wouldn't let me spend six bucks on you. You didn't even let me pay you for the Us Cracks shit the second time.”
“Yeah, but–”
Kerry placed his hands on either side of V's face. “You break into corpo penthouses all fuckin’ day and I still let you into my house. Haven't klept anything yet; nothin’ I've noticed, anyway.”
“No, I wouldn't–”
Kerry shushed him, “That was a joke. Lighten up, kid. V, listen; thought genuinely never crossed my mind. You're risin’ to the top all on your own, you certainly don't need my help. I trust you, alright?”
Kerry gave him a gentle kiss before resting their foreheads together.
“I just like… you . I know you're rockin’ this rich ‘n famous shit, but…I really like this Kerry, the real Kerry.”
Kerry, always out of his wheelhouse when things like this got too serious, let out a breathy laugh, “So, what? Money, looks; those don’t matter to you? Sayin’ I got all this work done for nothing?”
They laughed together before V's face shifted into a stern expression, “I think you’re gorgeous just like this, but…” he brushed his fingers gently through Kerry's damp bleached hair, noticing dark roots just starting to grow in. “Wouldn’t complain if you brought the mullet back.”
“No,” Kerry pulled away, finishing the last of his coffee, “Absolutely not.”
“Oh, come on!” V groaned with exaggeration, “The mullet was so sexy!”
Kerry smirked and rolled his eyes, “The time of the mullet has come and gone, kid. Tryin’ to stay hip, over here.”
V tugged Kerry into a side hug, the older man resting his head on V's shoulder. As they stared out over the lake together, V heard a whisper in his head. “Ask him about the time he filled the dressing room with hairspray trying to get his fringe to stay up and Henry thought that was the perfect time to light a cig.”
V chuckled, “Johnny says I should–”
“It's not about him, right now.”
V looked down with surprise only to find Kerry's gentle eyes admiring him. “Yeah, you’re right.” V kissed the top of Kerry's head and went back to watching the water as it rippled with the breeze. “Hasn't been for a while.”