Chapter Text
Natasha knew the minute she uploaded the files, that everything would go, more or less, to shit. She has the basic choice of her personal files of death and destruction, or her personal files of love and Maria (although those two words are closer to synonyms now).
She choses easily, and when she stands up in court she knows that no matter what happens she has a home to return to.
‘Miss Romanoff, did you or did you not complete missions for the KGB against the USA?’
She sighs, shes answered this question about 7 times in the last 3 hours and every time-
‘Yes.’
‘So you admit-’
‘I had no choice’ she cuts him off, again (4th time) ‘between the brainwashing, threat of death and prison complex-like accommodation, it wasnt really a pick and choose situation’ she adds dryly
‘Is the security of this nation a joke to you, Miss Romanoff?’ Senator Harlow snaps and she glares at him
‘Agent Romanoff’ she corrects
‘Sure’ he huffs, then looks back down at the papers
‘So you did-’
‘I think she’s explained perfectly what she did and didn’t do’ a voice remarks from the back of the hall and that, combined with the sound of heel clacking on lacquered floor makes Natasha spin around, to meet the eyes of Maria Hill.
Soft, calm Maria, with her violin, and vodka pasta sauce and that way of looking like she can translate your darkest secrets. But this, this, is angry and scary Maria, with stilettos that could stab you, a file thicker than your head and a knack for pissing off old straight men. Perfect.
‘Excuse me, Miss, this court is-’
‘Commander’ Maria corrects, letting herself into the space where the hearings being held, pushing easily past the clamoring reporters
‘What-?’
‘My title is Commander. Or Deputy Director, but that’s a bit of a mouthful, don’t you think?’ she looks down her nose at him and slaps her bag down on the table next to Natasha
‘What-’
‘Pardon’ she sighs ‘“What” is horribly rude. Did no one teach you manners?’
Natasha snorts ‘Subtle, love’ she murmurs under her breath and Maria just rolls her eyes in response
‘Miss, this is a closed hearing. If you have a report then feel free to-’
‘Submit it to the board?’ Maria finishes, and drops three booklets down in front of him ‘Did that. I also sent them to Linda from management, the President and my contacts at the FBI. And its still Commander’
The Senator splutters ‘The President?’
‘Yes’ Maria replies 'He's very keen to know why you have a national hero standing before a judge, jury and would be executioner’
‘Miss Romanoff is not a national hero’ a short man to the left of Senator says and Maria actually laughs
‘Are they selling halloween costumes of you, Mr Brank?’
He murmurs something under his breath and she moves on
‘Anyway, as I way saying-’
‘Miss-’
‘Commander’ Maria glares at the Senator ‘or Deputy Director, we’ve been over this Harlow, come on. As I was saying, files and reports and appeals are actually useless, as Agent Romanoff has the legal right to a defense, with proper qualifications and understanding of the case-’
‘That cant be-’
‘Check the report to your left Senator’ Maria says and he fumbles through the papers to his right ‘your other left’ she adds helpfully and he finally selects the right document
‘Did you inform Agent Romanoff that she could have defense?’
‘Well-’
‘No. Which I might add, is a constitutional right.’
‘Miss-’
‘Are you referring to myself of Romanoff?’
‘Rom-’ Harlow’s voice is raising
‘Then its Agent’ Maria snaps
‘Agent Romanoff’ Senator Harlow roars ‘Do you accept this woman to be your defense in your trial?’
Natasha has the gall to wink at an exasperated Maria ‘I do’ she grins
‘Okay’ the senator sighs heavily and leans back
‘You said qualified, the jury will need-’
‘A list of my records?’ Maria drops a thick file on his desk ‘I can give you the abridged version if you like?’
‘Yes’ Brank says, just as the Senator says ‘no’
‘Marines, left school at 16 and served until I was 20, then SHIELD, I’ve been there 6 years now’
Senator examines her ‘you’re 26’
‘Thats what the math says’
‘I need a yes or no answer Mi- Commander Hill’
‘Yes, sir’
‘And you left the Marines, why?’
‘Discharged’
His head snaps up ‘Discharged’
‘Dishonorably’ she supplies and Natasaha winces as the press hold their breath
Harlow turns at odd shade of puce as Brake speaks up
‘If you were dishonorably discharged, we cannot trust your word in this courtroom. You have been deemed without honor by the highest-’
Maria buts his off with a vague wave of her hand ‘The policy’s overturned now, relax’
‘Relax?!’ he bursts out ‘you - you committed a felony, or killed a member of your own-’
‘No I didn't’
‘Then how-’
‘Don't ask, don’t tell’
‘What?’
‘Pardon’ Maria repeats patiently ‘Don't ask, don’t tell. Page 9’
Rank flips through his documents and begins to read ‘A military law that prohibited-’ he break off, looks from the paper to Hill, then back several times then pushes the paper at the Senator, who blinks
‘Homosexuals within the ranks to come out publicly’ he finishes, tone full of gravel and Natasha feels her heart seize for Maria, who, to her credit, just nods
‘Yep’
‘And you-’ Senator breaks off awkwardly and she lets the sentence hang before answering
‘Are gay? Yes, I thought that-’ she gestures to the folder in his hand ‘would have cleared it up. Now can we please get onto the actual miscarriage of justice going on here? Or would you like to further question my personal, private history?’
‘With this history you cannot-’
‘What history?’ Maria snaps ‘10 years of laying down my life inservice for this country?’
‘Dis-’
‘-honorable discharge, I know, I know. I could apply to have it over turned now, but honestly thats a bit of a fuss, and its something that makes me, me, you know?’
Maria smiles patiently and they look at her like shes crazy, which at leaves gives her a chance to say a full sentence
‘Now, Agent Romanoff is being evaluated given the recent release of her files, publicly, correct?’
‘Well, y- yes, but-‘
‘Okay, and she also has the right to a defense’
‘Yes’ Brank sighs and Maria grins
‘Now we’re getting somewhere’
She sits down next to Natasha, and just for a moment their hands brush under the table
‘We’ve established that Agent Romanoff has completed violent missions against US ideals and against-‘
‘Let’s look at the context of that situation’ Maria cuts him off happily, opening the files ‘if we can turn to page 4 please’
‘You have a table of contents?’ Natasha whispers to her, the look that Maria gives her is answer enough
‘Now members of the board-‘
*
‘And then! And then- he just gave up!’ Natasha wheezes, three hours later, clutching her coat tighter around her
‘I know!’ Maria’s phone is crackling with joy through the tinny burner phone speakers and Natasha can’t help but laugh again
‘I’m an innocent woman’ she cheers ‘I’m on top of the world!’
‘You always were, Natasha’ Maria corrects her ‘You always were, baby’
Just that nickname is enough to have Natasha frowning, leaning back on the creaky desk chair and looking up at the moon, wishing for Maria to be beside her
‘Nat? Are you still there?’ Maria’s voice has lost the raw confidence it has when it was berating congress earlier
‘Yeah, I’m here’
‘I miss you’ Maria murmurs
‘I miss you too’ Natasha whispers ‘are you on the roof?’
‘Yep’ Maria’s crouched on the dusky tiles of her apartment block, wrapped in a blanket, beanie pulled over her head, still in her suit from the hearing, having taken a two hour detour home to avoid the press following her. Her home was still her home thank you. Even if it didn’t have Natasha in it.
‘Are you?’
‘Uh huh’ Natasha’s swinging her legs off the 114 floors of glass and steel
‘Don’t tell me you’re on the edge’ Maria warns
‘I’m not on the edge’ Natasha tries and Maria giggles at her
‘You’re an idiot’
‘I am. Yes. An idiot who’s idiotness is very, very well known’ Natasha might also have a bottle of vodka (don’t tell Maria) and takes a swig (don’t tell Maria) ‘world wide’ she adds, slightly slurred
‘Are you drinking?’
‘No’
‘Save me some, I'll come over later, if the goddamn press ever leave the tower entrance’ Maria sighs
‘How bad is it?’ Natasha asks and the silence she gets in response is answer enough ‘Shit’
‘It’ll be okay, Natasha, the public are on your side’ Maria says ‘the media just have a stick up their ass’
‘Wow’ Nat laughs ‘that’s extreme from you, Masha’
‘Theres 17 reporters camped outside your front door Natasha. 4 hours later’ Maria snaps, then pauses ‘I’m sorry, that came out wrong - its not your fault’
‘I know’ Natasha repeats quietly ‘I know that now. Its just so fucking annoying’ she laughs bitterly ‘This isnt a secret, Maria, you know this. I dont hide what happened to me, my files are my files and my past is my past. I dont tell people about maybe killing JFK because its not a conversation topic’ she shrugs to nothing and takes another swig ‘its only been 4 hours and I’m already sick of people acting like its some massive secret thats been revealed. You’re my massive secret baby, my past is just who I was’
Natasha frowns as shes met with silence
‘Baby?’
‘I’m still here’ Maria’s voice breaks slightly and Natasha rolls her eyes
‘You cant cry, Maria’
‘I’m not fucking crying’ Maria whispers ‘I’m lonely, Natasha. And to be honest-’ she hesitates for only a moment, a tiny moment, testament to the years of trust between them ‘I’m scared. And I’m angry. And I’m really, really, really in love with you, and all I want to do right now is have you and hold you and be angry and sacred with you’
Natasha says nothing, just leans back and left, snatching the handle of a massive metal cylinder from the roof. She knows, like some compass within her, exactly which direction Maria’s apartment is in. She snaps on the power switch, then, putting the vodka next to her, rests it on her lap and twists the dial to full.
Maria is looking in Natasha’s direction. She finds she always is, in some way; facing her and Clint in the helicarrier, chair tilted in the conference room, couched south-west towards Avengers tower. She notices the flash of green light, then the steady beam and snatches her own torch from the vent beside her.
Natasha sees the blue floodlight turn on and waves hers a little, laughing with Maria as she giggles over the phone
‘I see you’
‘I know, I know you’re there’
‘I’m sacred too’ Natasha waves the torch ‘I’m angry’ another wave ‘and I’m also really in love with you’ it wiggles up and down
‘I love you more’ Maria’s light waves back
‘I love you most’
‘I love you most-est’
‘Maria Hill that is not a word!’ Natasha shrieks, then swears, almost having dropped the torch off the edge of the tower
‘Okay, okay, get off the edge now Natasha. I know you’re there’ Maria’s voice is soft and Natasha lies back onto the roof
‘Okay, I’m going’
‘Actually go’
‘Fine’ Natasha rolls her eyes and stands ‘I’m off’ she waves the torch and Maria waves back, tiny, blue and bobbing in a sea of white city lights
‘I love you’
‘I love you more’
‘I love you most’
‘I lov–’
‘I get the last word!’ Natasha shouts down the phone, then happily hangs up the phone, grinning at the text that pops through a moment later
I love you mostest
Natasha doesn’t jump when she wakes up to a figure in her room. She wakes gently, not screaming, not sweating, not armed, therefore it must be Maria.
‘Hey baby’ Maria whispers and Natasha frees an arm from the covers to wave to her
‘Come in’
‘I’m just gunna change’
‘Nope. Wanna spoon’ Natasha rolls over and sees the outline of her girlfriend in the dim light of the door
‘Fine, I’ll just take off my boots’
Natasha frowns and doesnt stop frowning until the bed dips beside her and cold hands clasp around her waist
‘What time is it?’ she murmurs, awkwardly wiggling so she can kiss Maria’s freezing hands
‘Just past 4’
‘You’ve been waiting this whole time?’
‘Uh huh’
‘How many reporters?’
‘5’
‘Still?’
‘They have tents’
‘Ew’
‘Yeah, ew’
‘Lets forget about them’ Natasha rolls over to face Maria and narrows her eyes, feeling under the duvet
‘Are you still wearing your suit?’
Maria glows almost neon pink in the dark ‘no’
Natasha’s hand catch on the buttons of her blazer ‘sure’
‘You told me not to change’
‘Its fine’ Natasha leans into her chest ‘you’re hot in a suit, in my bed, in the dark and the calm and the non-reporter filled secret bubble’
‘I like this bubble’
‘Hmm’ Natasha kisses her jaw ‘Night’
‘Night, love’