Chapter Text
Niffty frantically searched the hotel for bugs or dirt- but much to her chagrin it seemed the worst had happened.
The hotel was now completely clean and bug free.
The little maid twitched in the lobby, lacking a purpose. It frightened the other sinners and such currently congregating by the bar. She muttered to herself, clawing at her skirts while gnashing her teeth.
“She’s startin’ to freak me out… more than usual,” Angel said, feet pulled up onto his seat to keep his ankles safe from her bored chewing. “Kitty, do something.”
“I’m not getting involved with any of that,” Husk grimaced, watching the one eyed woman start to fidget with one of her hidden knives.
“Why don’t we all play a game!?” Charlie practically cheered.
“Game!?” Niffty’s neck practically snapped as her head turned.
She was foaming at the mouth, shaking. Charlie made a mental note to restock the halls with roaches as soon as possible. Could Alastor just poof some into existence?
“Just have Alastor deal with her,” Vaggie said.
“That might be the wisest course of action…”
As if on cue, the radio demon appeared, with his signature smile that inspired only mistrust and unwilling participation.
“Niffty, dear,” he called in his static voice.
“Yes Alastor!?” Niffty scurried across the floor to his feet like an insect.
“Take the day off and have some fun.”
“A day off! Thank you, sir!”
And with that the rabid girl was out the door. The motley crew behind him just stared dubiously. Of course it was that easy. Why did they think it would be otherwise?
Niffty skipped along the piss scented streets adorably, humming to herself, wondering how she should spend her precious day off. Obviously, she was going to go hunk hunting. But where would she find a totally sexy bad boy to butcher on such short notice?
Divine intervention. Just as she was passing an electronics store, the televisions glowed with life as a broadcast from Vox Tech began.
“Afternoon sinners, Vox Tech is proud to introduce the new V-Phone 13. I know what you’re thinking, the 12 just came out two weeks ago. Do you really need a new one? Yes.” His left eye swirled black and red, hypnotizing his viewers into putting in their orders.
Niffty’s smile spread into a menacing grin as her own eyes swirled, “Bad boy~”
Vox, Val, and Vel all sat around on the same couch scrolling absentmindedly through their phones. Val held his phone out so the others could see.
“Should we build a pool on the roof?”
Velvette pursed her lips, “We could shoot my swimwear line there.”
Vox nodded, “I think a pool-”
The door to their penthouse lounge suddenly crashed in. Niffty had Vox’s sweet little intern in a headlock and she was covered in blood. Valentino immediately shrieked at the sight of her fuzzy silhouette and ducked behind Vox.
“What the-”
“Bad boy!!!” Niffty cackled to herself, rushing the trio.
Velvette was the first to react, getting up to fight the shorter girl only to have the intern chucked at her, successfully knocking her over. Val cried out again in horror while Vox rolled his eyes. He turned away from Niffty to locate one of Val’s golden guns between the couch cushions. It was just long enough for Niffty to hit the power button on the back of his head.
Vox crumpled down into the couch helplessly. That was when Nifty climbed over to pick up the unconscious man and start to carry him out. Valentino stood up, picking up his guns.
“Hold it, bitch-”
Niffty’s head turned 180 degrees to look back at the moth man, who dropped his guns and covered his fur collar with his hands and wings. When the intruder no longer decided the V’s were a threat, she made her way out of V Tower back to the hotel.
Vox powered back on to the sound of a The Shirelles record playing. He was tied up in a chair in a dark room that smelled terrible. He quickly powered off his sense of smell to stomach it. Upping the brightness of his face, he got a better look at his surroundings.
He was in some kind of rancid bedroom. Zooming in, he could see the half covered mattress was stuffed with rats instead of foam or feathers or whatever the hell mattresses were made of. On the walls were greasy pin ups of very attractive devils. They were absolutely from the trash of some porn theater. Among the posters were various roaches and roadkill nailed into the wall, seemingly arranged by size and unnerving shape.
“What the fu-”
“Hee hee hee. You’re awake.”
The lights suddenly turned on in the room and Vox recognized the little creep from his surveillance footage of the Hazbin Hotel. Miffy? Muffy? Scruffy? Creepy, definitely creepy. The one eyed redhead was wearing a pretty pink and red polka dotted sundress in the style he remembered being popular around the time of his death.
“Did Alastor put you up to this?” Vox tried to sound unimpressed and mildly irritated, but truthfully he was giddy with the hope that his rival had finally stooped low enough to try and kidnap him, “Well, whatever he wants, he’s not gonna get it from me.”
“You’re here because you’ve been a bad boy and need to be punished~”
Vox’s electric mouth spread into a thin line as he grimaced, “Look, if this is some kind of fetish thing I’d rather Alastor was the one hitting me. Speaking of, where is he? Is he just going to watch or-”
“It’s just you and me~” She half-hissed, half-purred and she unbuttoned her sundress to reveal a dominatrix costume underneath. “Any last words, handsome?”
“What? You wanna fuck me or something?”
Niffty’s toothy grin spread until it seemed like her smile was leaving the parameters of her face altogether. She pointed a spindly black finger to an empty space on her wall near an outlet. On the floor, just beneath it, was an old television that had been busted for some time.
“I want your head~”
“Ah! What!?”
Vox frantically scanned the decrepit room but there was no screen for him to warp through. He couldn’t escape. And the little wretch was actually very skilled at tying knots. He couldn’t even make a run for it.
Taking an old school medicine bag out from beneath her rat-mattress, she finished shimmying off her dress and retrieved her tools: a knife, tweezers, a screwdriver, and a series of rods of different lengths and sizes.
“What are those rods for- oh no.” Vox struggled so hard his chair tipped over.
“Careful now,” Niffty was actually drooling at this point, “We don’t want that gorgeous face getting cracked~ Stay still~”
“Please! I’ll get you the best TV Vox Tech has to offer! Completely f-f-f-fr- thirty percent off!”
“I don’t want just any television~ I want a far out hunk mounted to my wall~”
“Fifty percent! Sixty-five! S-S-Seve- Sixty-six! I won’t go lower! I still need to make a profit, you understand. Right?”
Even pinned beneath such a depraved creature, his afterlife on the line, he couldn’t bring himself to pass on a quick buck. Unfortunately that was part of what made him attractive to Nifty. That, and he’d recently won Pentagram City’s sexiest man contest, beating even the King of Hell: Big Daddy Lucifer Morningstar. He was the ultimate specimen for a girl like her.
“Stay still~” She giggled, breathing heavily as she angled the screw driver.
“Wait!”
“What!?”
“I can get you something better than me!”
Vox felt Niffty’s weight shift and he chanced peeking at her. She was still sitting on him and holding the screwdriver, but her expression had dramatically softened.
“Better?”
“From the human world. I promise you’ll like it. I’ll pay some imps to smuggle it back for you if you let me go. I swear, it’s gonna be the best thing ever.”
Niffty’s smile spread to one of absolutely innocent delight, which was jarring but equally disarming. She was that adorable.
“What is it!?”
“It’s a surprise~”
“Oh goodie! I love surprises!”
Niffty made quick work of untying her hostage before shrugging her little sundress back on. She hummed along to the record as she did, swishing her hips playfully back and forth. Vox eyed her, peeling himself off the floor, rubbing his mildly rope burned wrists.
“I’ll be seeing myself out,” he said, never taking his eyes off the small woman.
“Here! Take this with you!”
Niffty scurried over to a dresser and hopped up onto a small stool to reach into the top drawer. Retrieving something, she hopped back onto the carpeted floor and made her way back to her precious “bad boy.”
“For you! Thank you for playing with me today!”
In his hands, she placed what looked like a taxidermy cockroach wearing a little hat and hand-stitched trench coat. In its ass, a popsicle stick was shoved.
“Uh, thank you?”
“His name is Roachy Bogart. He’s one of my favorite puppets but you can have him.”
Vox narrowed his eyes, examining the abomination, “No relation to Humphrey, I assume?”
She nodded enthusiastically, “Yes! Yes! You understand!”
Vox, turning the horrible little bug over in his hands, adjusted his grip to hold the puppet up by the popsicle stick. He put on a funny voice with a New York accent.
“Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.”
Niffty giggled, hopping up and down while clapping. She looked so happy. Vox closed his hand around the gift and thanked her once more before heading out. He managed to sneak out of the Hazbin Hotel undetected.
Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his V-Phone. It was a special model. Unlike the ones the public had access to, his would basically never need replacing. Calling a car, he continued his jaunt down the hillside.
That idiot girl. She let him slip right through his fingers. He clicked his heels, whistling to himself as he approached the pick up point. The stretch limousine was already waiting. The driver held the door open for him, gently closing it once he was snugly inside. A glass of champagne had already been poured for him.
After a quick “I’m not dead, no thanks to you” text to the Vs, he got back to mindless scrolling on his apps. But it didn’t take long before his attention returned to the puppet in his pocket. Pulling it out, he admired it again. It was god awful, ugly, disgusting. So was the young woman who gave it to him.
“... Vox,” he said in the corny fake voice, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Rolling his eyes, Vox shoved the trinket back into his pocket and spent the rest of the drive looking out the window.
A few days passed. Vox didn’t actually intent to get that dumb little maid anything. He really was just going to leave and never see her again. But the imps were already running a chore for him in the human world. It wasn’t such a hassle to request a gift for her while they were already topside.
The box arrived to him in yellow paper with a big red bow. After confirming its contents, he left his office. Velvette was downstairs on her floor, preparing that swimwear line while the rooftop pool was constructed. Valentino should have been at the studio, but much to Vox’s annoyance, his lover was home.
“Oh my~ What do we have here? You wouldn’t be cheating on me, would you?” Valentine blew a puff of pink smoke in Vox’s TV screen.
He coughed, suppressing the butterflies Val’s toxin put in his stomach, “Consider it charity work.”
“Charity? You spend two hours in that tacky hotel and now you’re on the road to redemption?”
“Of course not.” Vox adjusted the present so it was slightly further away from his pimp paramour, “What if I called it an investment?”
“Ugh, is this more of your Alastor shit?”
“Alastor- what-”
“Nevermind, I’ve already lost interest. Call me when you don’t need static noise to cum.”
“I-”
But Valentino was already out the door again.
Vox cleared his throat, mumbling to himself what he might say as he idled at the door of the Hazbin Hotel. Eventually, he just knocked, only for Lucifer’s precious daughter to answer the door. She slammed it just as he was getting a word out. Not great, not awful. About expected.
“Hey Vaggie!” Charlie called out, “The TV demon is at the door?”
“What!?” Vaggie shouted.
“What should I do!?”
“Well, don’t let him in?”
Charlie, after a moment’s debate, answered the door again, “Ahem. H-How can I help you?”
“Charmed,” Vox lowered his head slightly in a makeshift bow, “Is Nnnnnnniffty home?”
He guessed her name.
“Niffty!?” The angel and princess of hell exclaimed in unison.
“Niffty here!” The small maid cheered, “Vox! You’re back!”
“Heyyyyy,” Vox suddenly felt awkward. “I have that…. Thing.”
“My surprise!?” She screeched.
“Your surprise.”
“Uhhhh,” Charlie interrupted, suddenly putting on a vague British accent, “What business do you have with Niffty?”
Vox bowed his head politely, “Just a gift. Nothing more. I’ll be on my way as soon as she’s satisfied.”
“No fucking way,” Vaggie said, fully not comprehending the situation.
Vox, having been allowed entrance, followed Niffty back to her horrifying bedroom. He passed her the parcel and she violently tore the paper to shreds, giggling to herself all the while. Vox was a little unnerved, but not as much as last time.
“What is it!?” She asked with glee, shaking the unwrapped box.
“It’s a Nintendo Switch with some games already on it. The one I got you has Animal Crossing. I thought you might like it.”
“Animal Crossing!?” Niffty wiped the drool from her chin, “Do I kill in it!?”
“Not exactly.”
Niffty still seemed happy. Vox took that as his cue to leave. But Niffty stopped him dead in tracks when she spoke up in her shrill voice.
“Will you play with me?”
Vox almost declined. The game was single player, after all. But then he looked back at the empty space on her wall. Maybe there was something wrong with him.
“It’s single player, but here,” He sat down on her bed, making himself comfortable.
Plugging in the game station directly to his head, he let the Switch boot up. Two little raccoons greeted Niffty and she picked up the controller he’d set up for her. Watching her play was a little like watching a streamer who never turned their camera on. Needless to say, she loved Animal Crossing. Especially beating her “ugly” villiagers “to death” with a bug net. And, to Vox’s surprise, he enjoyed their weird time together.
A Vox Tech Television was delivered to her hotel room the following morning.