Work Text:
Before the Clock Strikes Midnight
It was an hour before midnight, and still the ball went on.
By this stage, Frieren was tired. The event had started just before sunset; she'd thought it would be finished by now. Quite the opposite. The steady rhythmic pulse of waltz music, three beats in a bar, echoed throughout the large ballroom, and a hundred couples danced on into the night. The room was caught in a swirling rainbow of multi-coloured fabric, from white and black suits to silk dresses of every shade imaginable.
She watched from the side of the ballroom, a silent observer, as the patent leather shoes and high heels clicked away. She was resting her head on her palm, the very image of disinterest. Three plates of rich cake with white icing lay discarded on the table, the only remnants of which were crumbs. The ball's buffet had been the elf's chief distraction of the night- that, and watching the other guests.
This hadn't been her idea. It was Himmel's, or rather, his invitation they'd accepted. While passing through the Northern Lands, they had taken on a request to rescue a noblewoman's daughter from bandits. She had been kidnapped while travelling by coach, and the bandits were demanding ransom from her father. He had heard the famous Hero Party was passing through and promised a handsome reward for her rescue.
Himmel, of course, would have accepted the request regardless; he was just that kind of person. So, a week's travel and a short-lived battle later, they had recovered the girl from her captors. A great amount of fainting and tears of joy ensued. Heiter, Eisen and Frieren had all watched, bemused, at the fawning attention Himmel received on the journey back. This wasn't the first damsel he'd rescued, nor the first to react that way.
Having returned the nobleman's daughter and collected the reward, Frieren's preference was to leave. The girl, however, insisted Himmel and his friends (but mostly Himmel) attend a ball in his honour.
"It would be a little rude not to attend a ball hosted in our name…" Himmel had said, looking exceptionally pleased with himself. "Ridiculous, even."
"I wouldn't mind going," Heiter added. "Besides, there'll probably be free drinks!"
"You corrupt priest," Eisen and Frieren said in unison.
Neither the dwarf nor the elf were fond of the idea. Frieren had attended balls with her master Flamme before. She didn't care much either way, but would have preferred a quieter evening. Eisen, ever the stoic warrior, seemed bewildered by the whole concept. Eventually, however, they'd been persuaded.
"Come on," Himmel urged, nudging the elf on the shoulder. "You might enjoy it."
"I doubt that. Dancing isn't very fun."
"You've danced before?"
"Yes."
He'd seemed taken back. "With someone…?"
"My master, Flamme. I barely reached her waist and stepped on her toes a lot."
Having realised what she meant, he smiled. "Well… perhaps you should give it another chance? You might have a change of heart."
"Again, I doubt that. Dancing is for humans, not elves."
Himmel, looking confused, had opened his mouth to ask what she meant. Heiter interrupted them. She didn't bother explaining later on. It wasn't something a story a human would know.
They'd spent the day hastily acquiring formal attire. The first time they saw each other's outfits was their first time wearing them, just before heading to the ball. They'd all taken one look at each other and started giggling- it was so far removed from normality as to seem ridiculous. Heiter wore a modest black suit, befitting his profession. Eisen wore a grey two-piece outfit, and the priest drew a scowl from him after a comment about his tied up beard. Unsurprisingly, Himmel's outfit was the most extravagant: a white and blue tuxedo with gold trim.
Frieren had picked out the first acceptable dress she saw, which happened to be plain white. She'd reckoned on its practicality; hopefully it would last her on formal events for the next few centuries. Her hair was tied back into a long ponytail, and a simple necklace complimented her hair and dress.
After the initial giggles had subsided, Himmel turned to the elf. "Frieren, you look positively-"
"Shut up."
"You didn't even hear what I was going to say!"
"Knowing you, it wasn't worth hearing."
So, here they were. Despite being a 'guest of honour', Frieren had spent the entire ball loitering in the corners, stealing food and generally not engaging with her surroundings. A few upper-class socialites had approached her, realising she was part of the Hero Party, but left quickly after the conversation died an early death. Her green eyes once again sought out her companions. Heiter and Eisen were talking by the champagne- they'd made more effort than Frieren, but only by a little.
Himmel, on the other hand, was the man of the hour. The elf watched as he spent the entire night in the spotlight, talking to nobles and dignitaries with ease, floating between each group and conversation as only a hero could. It made her shake her head. Himmel secretly thought the world revolved around him, and much to her annoyance it probably did.
She had, however, noticed something unexpected. Himmel had accepted the first dance of the night with the girl he rescued, as was necessary for keeping face. There had been many gushing whispers of their elegance on the dancefloor (where and when, exactly, had Himmel learned to dance?). After that, however, Himmel had not taken to the floor once.
He received an invitation, however coded, practically every minute. All the girls were tripping over themselves to dance with him, but he turned down any who met his gaze or even found the nerve to ask. He didn't extend a single invitation either. He socialised, laughed, charmed, but never danced.
Frieren found it puzzling. Dancing would make him the centre of attention, and there was nothing Himmel loved more than being the centre of attention. The inconsistency occupied her thoughts. She looked back on the seven years they had spent together; there had been dozens of opportunities for him to dance, but he'd never taken any of them. Not at that ceilidh in the tavern, not at that festival in the spring… never.
It was something to think about, at least. The ball offered little else in the way of entertainment.
"You look tired."
Frieren blinked. Eisen had crept up on her while she was staring at Himmel. He was holding a half empty glass of champagne in his hand and the usual unblinking look.
"Well, that isn't surprising. I am quite tired."
Somehow, she knew he was smiling lightly underneath the beard. The dwarf took a seat beside her, his posture upright. "It's dragged on a little, it must be said. I'm not used to things like this."
"None of us are."
He nodded in agreement. "You wouldn't know looking at Himmel, though."
"That's true."
"I've heard the ball will end at midnight. Not too much longer now."
"..."
"… Would you like to dance?"
The elf turned to her friend in surprise. "Why are you asking?"
"Heiter thought it was sad you were here on your own. I'm just appeasing him."
"Well, I don't want to."
"Thought so. Neither do I. Perhaps he thought our heights made us compatible."
She snorted at his deadpan voice. "Perhaps."
A comfortable silence fell between them. Eisen finished his glass of champagne, and Frieren returned to her thoughts of Himmel. Just as they did so, the hero excused himself from another noble girl. His aversion to dancing was almost impressive.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Hmm?"
"You were looking at Himmel, no?"
"Yes," she said. "I just find it strange."
"Find what strange?"
"The fact he never dances with anyone."
"…" The dwarf closed his eyes for a moment. "I see."
She glanced at him. "You don't seem very surprised."
"No."
"Why not?"
He considered his words. "It wouldn't be like him to dance."
"Wouldn't it? I'd have thought the opposite."
"Well, the ball isn't over yet. There's still time in the night."
"..."
A minute or two later, he opened his mouth to speak, then didn't.
"What is it?"
"… How curious are you?"
Frieren shrugged. "Fairly curious. There's not much else going on."
"Then perhaps you should ask him yourself."
"Huh?"
"Ask Himmel why he doesn't dance."
"Oh." Her eyes fell on their companion. He was taking a rare moment away from the spotlight, walking over to the side doors. Outside the venue lay a pristine garden. He seemed intent on getting some fresh air.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Will you go and ask him?"
Frieren felt a strange tug of an emotion she couldn't place. The elf glanced back at her friend, puzzled. "You seem rather insistent."
"Heiter wanted to make sure you were occupied. You pestering Himmel would get him off my back."
"Right." She fiddled with the fork on one of the discarded plates. "Heiter can be quite insistent too, when he wants to be."
"Especially after a drink or five."
She laughed. "That corrupt priest."
"Indeed."
"…"
"…"
"I might go in a minute. It's better than doing nothing, I suppose."
"That's true."
"…"
The silence returned, but it wasn't as comfortable as before. Frieren couldn't understand why, but she also couldn't find a reason to object. She was curious about Himmel's refusal to dance, and she didn't have anything else to do. So, after five minutes more, she got up from her chair.
"I was beginning to think that chair was permanently attached," Eisen said.
"An easy mistake to make." She gave him a small wave. "See you later, Eisen."
He nodded back, and suddenly, Frieren was crossing the edge of the ballroom. The couples danced on, oblivious to the world around them- she wondered what would happen if a demon attacked right now. Would they keep dancing as a war raged around them, forever and always? It didn't seem unlikely.
She reached the edge of the ballroom and opened the glass door, stepping out into the garden. Himmel had retreated here, perhaps for fresh air, while her and Eisen had been talking. The garden was larger than it looked from inside- perfectly cut rose bushes and shrubberies lay in uniform rows. Midnight approached, and a near full-moon emptied light onto the world below, transforming all the roses into a shade of silver blue.
She breathed in the night air, refreshing against the breathy heat of the ballroom. Himmel's form wasn't immediately apparent in the dim light. The elf walked deeper into the garden, down a narrow path, until she reached the centre of this quiet retreat. Therein was a circle, surrounded by hedgerows, with an ornate fountain pool in the centre. The fountain was turned off, leaving the water still.
There, at the centre of the garden, she found Himmel. He was stood by the fountain pool, gazing up at the moon, an empty champagne glass clutched between his fingers. She tilted her head to the side at the expression on his face. Himmel's smile was unrelenting most days, and here it remained, but different. Behind it lay a sentiment too complicated and human for her to comprehend. His species were like that- emotional to the point of inscrutable.
"Himmel," she called out.
He turned around immediately, his eyes reflecting the silver moonlight. The smile didn't budge from his lips. He was surprised but hid it well. "Frieren! I didn't hear you coming."
"You did seem distracted."
"Yes. It's a pretty night."
She walked over to his side, following his gaze to the stars. "I didn't expect you to leave the ball for even five minutes."
"Why not?"
"Everyone was looking at you. I guess even narcissists need a break sometimes."
He smirked. "As opposed to you, who spent the entire night taking a break."
"I told you. Dancing isn't for me."
"I can't believe that. All it takes to fall in love with dancing is the right partner."
"And how would you know that? You haven't danced all night."
This time, Himmel couldn't hide his surprise. "You noticed?"
"Just now, yes. After our host, you turned everyone else down."
"… Guilty as charged," he admitted.
This was the point where Frieren was supposed to ask why. It was the reason she had come out here and intruded on his private moment. Himmel waited for her to speak. Eventually, she pushed away her strange hesitance.
"I was wondering why that was."
"Why wasn't I dancing with anyone?"
"Yes."
Again, the smile didn't budge, but it took on an inert quality. "And which one of our friends suggested you ask?"
"Both of them, in a way."
He nodded. "That makes sense."
"… I see you don't want to answer though. It was just a way to pass the time."
"No, it's fine, Frieren. I'm more than happy to answer."
He didn't for awhile though. The elf shuffled her feet until he did.
"Dancing is quite a personal thing, isn't it? At least it feels that way to me. I can only imagine myself dancing with someone I feel comfortable with."
"So you're comfortable with our latest damsel in distress?"
He laughed. "That's different. It would've been insulting to refuse. Outside of that, I'd rather dance with someone I care about."
Was it really that personal? Whenever she'd danced with Flamme, it had felt like one big joke, though that was due to her own incompetence. Who was she to say otherwise?
Frieren decided it didn't matter. She had come out here to waste time, a pointless objective that she had pointlessly fulfilled.
"Well, thank you for answering me, Himmel. I'll head back inside now."
"Alright, Frieren."
She turned on her heel and began the walk back up the path. Just as she was about to leave him behind, however, Himmel's voice reached out once more.
"I wouldn't mind dancing with a friend, either."
The elf looked her shoulder. "Huh?"
He was looking at her with another of those incomprehensible expressions. "I'm not quite ready to return to the centre of attention. It's nice out here. Besides, you didn't seem like you were having much fun in there."
She blinked. "What are you saying?"
He inhaled. "I'm saying…" In-between words, he closed the distance between them and extended his hand. "If you're looking for ways to pass the time, I'm more than happy to oblige."
The elf's green eyes shifted from him to his hand. "You want to dance?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"I already told you. I don't find dancing very fun."
"But how long has it been since you tried?"
She thought about it. "… It… It must have been-"
"Long enough ago for you to forget how long. Surely you're due another try?"
"I'd just step on your toes like I did before."
Himmel laughed. "I can think of graver ordeals."
Frieren opened her mouth, ready to list the dozens of reasons why this was a silly idea, but he cut over her:
"Just give it a go, Frieren. Remember when I asked you to join me, all those years ago? You said you couldn't because too much time had already passed. I told you we were talking about the present. It's never too late to try something new, or to try something again."
"That's different."
"Is it? Just one more try."
His hand remained outstretched, calm yet insistent. The elf wanted to dismiss him and turn away. It was exactly the same urge she had felt when he, Heiter and Eisen had found her in the woods. He'd fixed with that smile of near incessant optimism, that outstretched hand he could probably hold out forever.
Back then, she'd given in, and she found herself doing so again.
"Alright," she muttered. "But this is pointless."
"So are most things in life, but we still do them."
She placed her hand in his, cautious as a doe. His touch was warm but gentle, with a slight tremor- it must have been colder outside than she thought. He led her back towards the fountain pool, whereupon they stood in front of each other, hand in hand, saying nothing.
"Last time I danced, I remember there being movement involved."
"What? Oh." Himmel shook his head. He must have been daydreaming. "… Yes, let's… I'll lead. Obviously."
He cleared his throat, hand still trembling from the cold, before stepping closer. The height difference made things a little awkward, as Frieren had expected- Himmel was a whole head taller. He reached down and placed his right hand on the small of her back, while she reached up to his shoulder. Frieren remembered the traditional hold, however vague the memory. The figure of Flamme had been replaced by Himmel. An unexpected switch.
The ever-present waltz music still resonated from inside the ballroom. Himmel was looking at something over her head as he steadied himself. Frieren held the position, reluctant, already waiting for it to be over.
"Please try to enjoy it, Frieren," he rasped. "I'll feel guilty otherwise."
"… I'll try."
With that, they started to dance.
The movement was slow and uncertain, only just keeping up with the rhythm. The elf kept glancing at her feet, trying to ensure she didn't stamp on him. Himmel was much more practiced, but led her nervously, each step like wading deeper into an ocean.
Slowly, they began to relax in each other's grip. Himmel's guidance grew more confident, and Frieren grew less concerned with missteps. He lowered his eyeline, meeting her gaze. His eyes were light blue, but they glimmered silver under the stars, the same colour the roses around them had been tinted. His smile gradually widened until it filled his whole face, all-encompassing, like a portrait filled an empty wall.
The elf suddenly realised how long they'd been looking at each other. She'd forgotten how long they'd been dancing. It was far from vigorous, but she preferred it this way. It was nothing like the sprightly dances she'd witnessed in the ballroom. It felt different, too.
Before she knew what was happening, he twirled her around and pulled her back in, his chuckle almost delirious as he did so. She could only frown.
"Sorry. Couldn't resist."
She shook her head but didn't say anything. Himmel was content not to push his luck. They danced for longer than either of them could have expected, slowing and slowing until it was little more than a sway. They gave up on the ballroom hold. Her hands ended up on his lapels, both of his on her waist, until finally, hesitantly, Himmel pulled away.
He offered her another brilliant smile and bowed like the gentlemen in the ballroom. "Thank you for the dance, my lady," he said, playing it up.
She didn't really know what to say, so settled for nothing. He understood and led her to the fountain pool. They sat down on the stone edge, looking down into the translucent water. Their reflections were clear. A man and an elf stared back at them, recognisable but different.
"… That was nice," he said, at last letting go of her hand. "Thank you for indulging me, Frieren."
"Sure," she murmured. For some reason, it felt like she was hearing her voice from faraway.
"Did you enjoy it?"
The elf tried to think about what had just happened, but her mind was blank. She was feeling something, but wasn't articulate enough to lay a name to the feeling. It wasn't like the giddy elation of discovering a long-forgotten grimoire, or the quiet contentment of sitting round a campfire with her companions. It was something else. Maybe Flamme would have been able to tell her, but her master wasn't here. There was only Himmel and the garden.
"It was better than last time, maybe."
Himmel blinked, processing her response, before bursting out into uproarious laughter. Frieren pouted and looked away- she didn't like being laughed at in the best of times, especially not when this had all been Himmel's idea.
"You know what, Frieren?" he said, after the laughter subsided. "I'll take it."
With that, they went quiet. The sound of waltz music echoed from inside, but otherwise the was garden was serene and still. Himmel was looking back towards the ballroom; part of it could still be seen over the rose bushes and hedgerows. She followed his gaze. There, on the nearest wall of the ballroom exterior, was a large clock. The small hand ticked round and round and round. It was almost 12.
Frieren shook her head. The ball would be over soon.
"Before the clock strikes midnight…"
She looked back at Himmel. "What was that?"
He started, embarrassed. "Did I say that out loud?"
"Yes. You said, 'before the clock strikes midnight'."
"Sorry, Frieren. I was just thinking about that old folk story."
"Which one?"
"The story of the servant girl who became a princess. You've never heard of it?"
"No."
"Just a human story, I suppose."
Frieren fiddled with the hem of her dress. "How does it go?"
"You want to know?"
"I did come out here to pass the time."
"That you did." Himmel thought about it for a moment and then cleared his throat. "Alright, I'll tell you."
"…"
"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful servant girl who lived in an ugly household. Her mother had died before she was born, leaving her to the mercy of a neglectful father and a cruel stepmother. The stepmother spoiled her own daughters rotten but treated the servant girl like a slave. All day and everyday she toiled, sweeping the floors, cleaning the clothes, tormented by her family all the while.
One day, she heard her stepsisters talking excitedly about a festival. A handsome prince was holding a ball at his palace, hoping to find a wife, and all the ladies of the land were invited. They were nattering about what dresses they would wear to attract the prince, under the watchful eye of their mother. The servant girl longed desperately to go. She had seen the prince's image in paintings and thought him the most handsome man she had ever seen.
But she knew her family would never let her go to the ball. It was nothing but a fantasy.
On the night of the festival, she watched from her window as her family took their carriage to the ball. She had been hurt by them a thousand times over, but watching them leave was more than she could bear. Holding back her tears, she ran out to the garden, staring up at the stars, listless. She wished with all her heart for something to change. Would she always be barred from entry, watching the ball from the outside?
Then, as if by magic, one of the stars fluttered down from the sky. She watched in amazement as it landed in the garden, the twinkling light falling away to reveal a middle-aged woman in a sparkling dress. The servant girl couldn't believe what she was seeing.
The woman introduced herself as the girl's fairy godmother. She gave the girl a beautiful white dress with beautiful silver slippers to go the ball with. She transformed her hair, gave her a carriage with stars for wheels, and sent her off to the festival like a princess. The fairy godmother warned her this, however: you must leave the ball before the clock strikes midnight. That is when the spell will be broken. The servant girl felt certain she was dreaming but dared not blink lest she woke up.
At the ball, everyone stared at her, astonished by her beauty and the twilight sparkle of her dress. Her cruel stepsisters and stepmother didn't recognise her and thought her a foreign princess. Nonetheless, the prince approached and asked her to dance. She could only pinch herself as they danced, in front of all the ladies of the land. It was the most wonderful evening of her life.
Time passed in a blur as they danced. She glanced up at the wall, however, and was horrified to see there were only five midnights left until midnight. Soon, the spell would be broken. She excused herself from the confused, love-struck prince, and ran from the ball back to her carriage of stars. The prince gave chase but could only watch in despair as the carriage disappeared into the night. The clock chimed midnight, and the spell fell away, leaving the servant girl a mess on the floor. In the panic, however-"
"She forgot one of her slippers on the palace steps?" the elf interrupted, as the story continued to unfold.
Himmel nodded, raising an eyebrow. "So you do know the story?"
"Not exactly. I know the elven version."
"Oh… it's different for elves?"
She nodded. "I know our story quite well. It's one of the few memories I have of my mother. She used to tell it to me before I fell asleep."
Himmel went quiet, unsure what to say. She had told him about her past before, but he never seemed to know how to respond. For the elf, it was ancient history. The consequences remained in the form of a fire in her chest- her hatred of the demons- but other than that it was just a memory. Memories were manageable.
"How is your version different?" he asked.
"Well, it's a story for elves. I'm surprised it changed so much for your kind. The story my mother told me was about an elf who wanted to be a human."
"What?"
Frieren nodded. "The 'servant' girl wasn't a servant in the story I know. She was just an elf, like any other. Unlike the rest of her kind, however, she was fascinated by humanity. She found their short lives so beautiful, and so sad. She had taken to watching them from afar, just to learn about their ways of life. Elves lived such long and dull lives in comparison.
One day, she wandered from her village to the nearest human settlement, as she had many times before- but this time, something different happened. The settlement had a handsome prince, and she saw him for the very time, on the steps of his palace. She began to feel something strange in her chest- something strange and distracting. She went back to her village, but she couldn't stop thinking about the handsome human prince she saw.
Later on, she found out the prince was hosting a ball, hoping to find a wife, and that all the ladies of the land were invited. The elf desperately wanted to go, but at that point in history, elves were discouraged from interacting with humans. The separation was so deep that some humans didn't believe elves even existed. Sometimes, she wished she had been born a human instead. Would she always be on the outside of the ball, looking in?
The elf knew she couldn't go to the ball. It was just a fantasy. But magic is the realm of fantasy, and the elf was as good a mage as any other.
She didn't need a fairy godmother- she acted on her own. The elf came up with a spell to transform her appearance into that of a human. The spell required a huge amount of mana, but it would only last for the course of a night, at most. The elf calculated she would have to leave the ball before the clock struck midnight, otherwise she would run out of mana. Did they even have clocks back then? Well, it doesn't matter. Midnight was when the spell would break.
So she headed along to the ball, just like the servant girl. Everyone was astounded by the beauty of this petite human girl with the long, beautiful hair and the simple yet spellbinding dress. They thought her a foreign princess- even with the spell, the humans could tell there was something different about her. The prince asked her to dance, awestruck by her beauty, and the elf felt that strange, distracting feeling in her chest.
They danced well into the night, until the elf realised it was nearly midnight. She excused herself from the prince and ran away before he found out she wasn't human. And just like the servant girl, she left behind one of her slippers."
Frieren finished her story. She had been looking up at the stars while she spoke, but now she looked back, and found Himmel staring at her, rapt. They were still sat by the fountain pool, their hands close.
"How does your version end?"
"The same as yours, I assume."
"Mine ends with the prince going round every household in the land, until he finds the girl whose foot fits the slipper. He and the servant girl live happily ever after."
"Oh." Frieren scratched her head. "No, my version doesn't end like that."
Himmel didn't say anything. His eyes flickered away to their reflections in the water. She wasn't sure if he wanted her to continue, but she did so anyway.
"My story ends with the elf never seeking out the prince. The prince holds onto the slipper for the rest of his days, never to find the girl it belonged to. It's supposed to be a story with a moral. Elves live a long, long time. Because of that, life can be difficult. A lot of things can pass you by. A lot of people can disappear in the waves of history. The story tells us not to be jealous of creatures with shorter lifespans. We are different, and there's nothing wrong with that. We should never regret what we are, and the longer lives we lead."
"… Is that right?"
Frieren nodded. She glanced back to the clock on the ballroom exterior. Midnight continued to approach.
"Would you have done the same?"
"Hmm?"
Himmel's eyes didn't leave their reflections. "If you were the elf, would have you done the same?"
"What, never sought out the prince?"
"Yes," he rasped, voice sounding a little hoarse.
Frieren considered the question. She had never given the story much thought- it was just a fairytale to send her off to sleep. A lullaby. Perhaps the story had influenced her subconsciously, however, because her instinctive response was to say yes. That was supposed to be the story's lesson: don't be ashamed of what you are, and don't trifle with lives too different from your own.
All of a sudden, it didn't seem that simple. After all, by many estimations, the elf's actions in the story were cruel. She had cast the spell on herself, on the prince, and then broken it when she realised it could never be. Didn't she owe the prince something, having gone to the ball? Didn't he at least deserve the truth?
Frieren decided there wasn't really a clear answer. It was a complicated decision- one could argue every answer was wrong.
"I'm not sure," she said, without elaborating.
Himmel smiled, sensing he wouldn't get a response. Still, he asked one more question:
"Have you ever felt the same way as the elf?"
"…"
"Have you ever wanted to be human?"
Again, the instinctive response was to say 'no'. Again, she found herself considering it.
It would be easier if the question was 'have you wondered what it would be like to be human?'. If so, the answer would be yes. Of course she had. Himmel must have imagined would it be like to be an elf, as well. It was a simple matter of curiosity.
She had first wondered it during her apprenticeship to Flamme. She'd imagined if their life, as master and apprentice, would be different if they were both human. Perhaps their conversations would have been different. Perhaps they could've known each other better. There were still mysteries about Flamme that she would never know the answer to. If she were human, she would probably have those answers.
It was true about the Hero Party, too. Frieren had spent more time with humans than most elves could dream of, but she still knew so little about them. Humans had so much less time before they turned to dust. They did everything with an urgency, a desperation, that she could never relate to.
Take the man beside her, for example. He had sought to defeat the Demon King as soon as he thought he was ready. He couldn't afford to sit around waiting. She, on the other hand, had done nothing but wait for a thousand years until he arrived in her forest. She couldn't help but admire that urgency. That overwhelming desire to live.
Would she have gone on this journey without Himmel? Would she have danced with him just now, were he not human? How much better could they know each other?
An image appeared in her mind's eye, as if cast by some unseen mage. It was of herself and Himmel, dancing as they had been before, but something was different. They were dancing with more intensity. The movements were so quick, so fervent, that she almost thought they were part of the same body. He was looking down at his partner with that smile, but he was holding her closer-
"Frieren?"
-and she was-
"Frieren?! What is that?!"
She was startled from her reverie. Himmel's eyes had gone as wide as the moon in the sky- but he wasn't looking at Frieren. Rather, he was looking at the fountain pool, at their reflections. His fingers were digging into the stone edge. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.
Confused, Frieren looked at their reflections. A vision of Himmel stared back them, his eyes as wide and shocked as the real Himmel. So too did a vision of Frieren, except-
No… it wasn't a vision of Frieren.
What they saw in her reflection was something else entirely.
The figure was wearing the same clothes as Frieren. There was the white dress, the necklace, the hair tied into a ponytail, the red earrings, the vibrant green eyes. But it wasn't her. A stranger was looking back at them. She was a little taller. She was less lithe. Her ears were smaller and more shapely...
A vision of Frieren as a human stared up at them, from beneath the water.
"Stop that," Himmel said, his voice suddenly full of hurt.
The elf blinked but found she couldn't look away from the vision. The fragment seemed impossible to break-
"I said stop that!"
The unbreakable fragment shattered into a thousand pieces. Frieren recoiled as Himmel's hand splashed into the water, disturbing the stillness, destroying the vision. He stood up and turned his back on her, staring back through the garden towards the ballroom. She couldn't see his expression. She couldn't tell what he was thinking. His voice, however, had been pained.
Frieren swallowed, processing what had happened. She waited for the water to calm, so she could see her reflection again. Once more, a familiar looking elf stared back at her. The spell had been broken.
"… Frieren… what just happened?"
The elf collected herself. Nothing that just occurred was illogical. It was just magic, plain and uncomplicated. But Himmel wasn't a mage, and for whatever reason, he seemed unsettled.
She steadied her voice before explaining:
"Magic can be very instinctive and emotional, sometimes. That's the oldest kind of magic- a pure, emotional response. In the Mythical Eras, mages cast powerful curses when they were angry, and beautiful charms when they were happy. I was imagining what it would be like if I were human, and because of that, I accidentally cast a vision of it onto the water. That's all it was, Himmel. I'm sorry if it surprised you."
Himmel didn't respond for a long, long time. He kept his back to her. She couldn't see his expression. She had no idea what he was feeling. No doubt it was something human and incomprehensible. She felt a sudden twinge of irritation- his reaction had been excessive, hadn't it? But she knew right away that was unfair. She didn't understand humans. She would be patient.
"So you've wanted it, then…"
"Huh?"
With his back turned, he expressed himself once more. "You've wanted to be human?"
"… No," she replied. "All that means is that I've wondered what it would be like."
"And what do you think it would be like?"
Frieren tapped her finger on the edge of the stone fountain. How had the conversation come to this? She just came out here to pass the time, hadn't she?
"I think it would be different. That's all I can say. I don't see much point in speculating. It's just a fantasy, after all."
A long pause, and then in a voice thick with humanity, "Yes. It's just a fantasy. "
Discomfort. It appeared in the pit of her stomach from out of nowhere. The sensation spread outwards, consuming Frieren with an acute sense that some monumental truth had gone unspoken, and would go unspoken unless it was choked out right this moment, on this night, in this very garden. She-
A long chime split the quiet night air. Within seconds, the music echoing from the ballroom stopped. The people, visible in the ballroom through the bushes, turned to look. Everyone's attention was grabbed, including Frieren and Himmel.
The clock had struck midnight. The ball was over.
Of course, it didn't end straight away. Once the chime subsided, Frieren watched as the couples in the ballroom continued to talk, some heading in different directions, others lingering behind. The message was clear, however, and shared subconsciously throughout everyone in attendance. The music started up once more, only quieter now. Exit music. There was no more time in the night.
Frieren looked back at Himmel. That sudden discomfort hadn't disappeared, but it had lessened. Already, she couldn't quite remember what the source of it was. What monumental truth had gone unspoken? Why did she think there was one? It didn't make sense.
"Himmel?" she asked. He was still stood with his back to her, looking at the clock.
At last, he turned back around, and Frieren was glad to see he was smiling. It was a tempered smile, but still the smile she recognised. The one that could never be broken. The world would know it was doomed when even Himmel forgot how to smile.
"I'm sorry, Frieren. I shouldn't have snapped at you. That was unfair."
"It's fine," she said, still sat by the fountain pool. "It took you by surprise."
"Yes, it did…" He chuckled. "Do try to warn me in future if you have any unexpected visions."
"I'll try."
Himmel straightened and adjusted his tuxedo. "Well, the clock has struck midnight. It's time to leave the ball."
Frieren raised an eyebrow. "You're the servant girl here, are you?"
"Oh no. I'm certainly the prince."
The elf opened her mouth to quip back, as they often would, but found herself cut off.
Without warning, Himmel knelt on one knee in front of her, so that their eyes were level where she sat. He took her hand, just as he had while they danced, still smiling. "Thank you for the dance, my lady. It was a pleasure."
"Don't worry," she said, as that unnamed feeling from their dance returned. "We passed more time than I expected."
"Of course. I was happy just to be a part of it."
And with that, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. She rolled her eyes, thinking it another imitation of the gentlemen indoors; only this lasted longer. She felt the warm pressure of his lips, resting just above her knuckles. His eyes were closed, his expression almost soulful. He looked like the figure of a husband cut in alabaster, kneeling at his wife's tomb.
"Goodnight, Frieren," he murmured, breaking the kiss, though he still held her hand, and his eyes remained closed.
The elf's breathing was soft, in and out, but loud enough that she could hear herself. She felt like the moment was right to pull her hand away, but didn't. She let him pull away himself, rising from one knee, walking slowly and inexorably back towards the ballroom.
Soon enough, Himmel disappeared inside. She half expected him to wave back at her, though that would've been silly. Why would he say goodbye? They would see each other again tomorrow.
Frieren remained in the garden for awhile longer. She wasn't sure why; it was relaxing out here, but less than it had been before her encounter with Himmel. She ran over what had happened in her mind: the dance, the vision and then the parting. They all made partial sense in isolation, but not much as extensions of each other, and not with the two of them participating.
Her eyes were pulled back to the water, where the vision of herself as a human had appeared. She searched in her reflection for a sign of its return, but only an elf looked back. By splashing the water, Himmel had broken the image forever.
Almost unconsciously, she dipped her hand into the pool, lowering it past her knuckles, past the spot where Himmel had kissed her goodnight. Without the elf knowing it, a vision accepted the offering of his kiss, and wished for a moment, just a moment, when they could switch places for real.
But the clock had struck midnight. Some spells were not to last.