Chapter Text
Alex had barely slept; the night's events were playing in her mind.
How the hell was she going to tell Audrey?
The team had been out celebrating a commendation for the department. They'd rushed straight into it after work - no dinner, plenty of beer, spirits, good music. Tiredness and relief hung in the air; it was a recipe for disaster.
"I have a girlfriend," Alex recalled herself saying drunkenly, as she felt the hands on her waist.
"She doesn’t need to know."
A shameful knot hung heavy in her stomach, and she turned in bed, covering her face with the pillow. The thought of Audrey’s face - she would give anything to go back in time and turn down the invitation.
Audrey would be home in 45 minutes.
Now 30.
Now 15.
She was running 25 minutes late when the detective finally heard keys jangling in the door. Groaning, she pulled herself out of bed and jumped in the shower, hoping to buy herself some extra time before having the talk.
She dialled the shower to the coldest setting as a form of self-flagellation.
"Morning, babe," Audrey yawned, as Alex padded into the bedroom in her towel.
"Hey," they shared a quick kiss as Alex quickly flung on some joggers and a t-shirt, hair tussled in a towel. "Listen, before you sleep…" she considered the words. Maybe now wasn’t the best time? Audrey had just come off an undoubtedly exhausting shift, and she needed rest.
"Yeah?" Audrey replaced Alex in the bathroom, her response now muffled as she brushed her teeth.
"No … it’s okay."
"What is it?" she poked her head around the door, signalling her to continue.
Well, she was in it now.
"It’s just … last night," Alex sat on the bed, running the towel through her hair a final time before flinging it on the back of the chair. Audrey gave her a look as if to say 'put it on the rail, babe'. "We … went out for some drinks, everyone in the team."
The doctor retreated. She heard Audrey spitting, the tap ran. A moment later, she reappeared in the doorway.
"And… god, we were all drunk, and …"
Audrey’s playful look quickly faded. "And … well, Benson brought his roommate with him, she works in advertising and …" Alex covered her face. "God, I regret it so much, but-..."
Before she could finish her sentence, Audrey’s phone rang. Alex watched as she marched to her handbag and pulled it out.
"Dr Benjamin," she stated professionally, her tone not matching her current facial expression. "Yep… ah ... damn … okay, I’ll be right there," she tapped the phone, holding her palm up before her girlfriend could continue. "I really can’t do this right now."
"Wait, no, babe," Alex stood. "Let me finish-..."
"No," Audrey snapped, taking a quick look at herself in the mirror. She was assessing whether she could get away with wearing the outfit for another few hours. In a different moment, she would have changed. But Audrey felt like she’d been stabbed in the heart, and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
She grabbed her bag and stormed out, slamming the door behind her, leaving Alex in stunned silence.
__________________________________________________________________________
"Hey, Isabelle," Alex found Audrey’s colleague as she searched the corridor. "Have you seen-..."
"Girl," Isabelle pulled her to one side. "What happened? I wouldn’t be here if I were you."
Alex’s eyes widened. What had Audrey said to her?
"Nothing, I just … god, we haven’t even spoken yet."
"Not what she told me," Isabelle was clearly weighing up the pros and cons of choosing a side. She was close with both of them, but Audrey had become her saving grace at work.
"Listen, Isabelle," Alex held out her hands in a calming manner. "I really just want-..."
"Nope, sorry," she shook her head and pointed to the exit. "Bye."
"Jesus," Alex rolled her eyes. "How old are you, 12?"
Shit. Shouldn’t have said that.
Isabelle rolled on her heels, clearly ready to snap back a retort when she became aware of her surroundings and coughed slightly.
"I’m leaving," Alex reassured, heading away before they got into a teenage scuffle.
How was this her Saturday?
________________________________________________________________
"What the hell?" Audrey snapped. "How are you angry at me?"
"Babe," Alex seethed. "You went into work without finishing the conversation and told people."
The pair were back at home, hours later.
"I can’t believe this."
"You don’t even know all the facts."
Audrey scoffed. "You think I can’t fill out the gaps?"
"No, but … well, in this case, yes," Alex rolled her eyes as Audrey stormed out of the room - again. "Babe, seriously, listen to me. Sit down."
“How could you do this?” Audrey’s anger turned to despair, the familiar wobble in her voice telling Alex she was about to break down.
Alex chuckled slightly as she reached out to comfort. “Babe, listen. I was trying to tell you…” she sighed. “I was trying to tell you that she made a pass at me, but I turned it down.” Audrey stared at her. “I felt bad because I may have been flirting with her a bit, I don’t know … I was drunk, babe. But … that’s what I was feeling awful about. The moment she made a move I turned her down. God, I would … never.”
Audrey hesitated, not knowing what to do with this new information. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
“And to be honest, I think I’m now more hurt that you think I would?”
Audrey considered the words for a moment. “What was I supposed to think? You looked so guilty, telling me you were drunk and that you felt terrible-..”
“I know, I know, I didn’t tee that up well.”
“Are you being truthful?”
Alex raised her eyebrow, offended. “Of course.”