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Falling in love is a lot like riding a rollercoaster. There's the part where you're waiting for the experience, slowly inching forward towards what is supposed to be an amazing ride while watching the excited faces of those getting off. Each step you take towards the ride makes you more excited and more anxious. You get closer and closer, feeling the nervous energy of those before you.
Then you're standing there, slotted between the little metal stands and waiting for one more ride to go through before you're on it. In that moment emotions swim around inside you. You can see the ride, see how nervous and excited the people already on it look. You're so close. Next thing you know you're being shoved into an uncomfortable seat while some asshole buckles you in. There's a guy off to the side speaking incoherently in the world's shittiest microphone, his voice scratchy and grating as it comes through the most muffled speaker known to man.
In that uncomfortable seat you're left somewhere between elation and panic. You know as soon as the ride takes off something terrible could happen or something really fun. The ride could break and leave you dead on the pavement below, or it might stall and leave you sitting hundreds of feet in the air waiting for maintenance to fix it. Usually though, it's a fun ride that ends just a little too soon. By the time the panic is gone and your arms are in the air, smile wide and innocent on your face as you loop upside down and feel your stomach fill with butterflies, it's over.
You spent all that time waiting for this one thing, this one awesome thing that's supposed to be the best part. Then after a brief ride it's over. You get a picture and your stomach hurts. Craig has long since gotten bored of rollercoasters. What's the point of waiting in some long line for a two minute ride? Why waste money on a locker just for all of that? He's been on plenty of rollercoasters before and it's always the same, why put himself through going on another?
It was a lot like love, something else Craig has grown tired of. In the beginning it's always so exciting, meeting someone, going on dates and getting to know them. That's the line, waiting around for a text or a call. Waiting to find out what it all is and if there's a rollercoaster at the end of all the waiting. Then you get to the end of the line and have to decide if you're going to ride it or chicken out and walk through the exit. Except with love the rollercoaster gets to decide if you can ride it at all. Sometimes the rollercoaster takes the exit and Craig is left standing there like an idiot who queued in a ridiculously long line just for the coaster to decide some other guy was the better fit for the ride.
Much like a rollercoaster the nervousness and excitement pass by too quickly. You get on and suddenly you're with someone you want to love forever, someone that makes you so happy and so nervous all at once. There's ups and downs, but for some stupid reason you always seem to think the ride won't end. That the track will just keep going forever and the thrill will be permanent. That's just not how it works though, eventually the ride has to end. Then you're alone again, looking for the next rollercoaster.
So he gave up on love, he gave up on finding the neverending rollercoaster. For Craig life is simple, he goes to work, he plays with his guinea pig, and he hangs out with his friends. He doesn't need the thrill, the giddiness, the pure excitement and joy. He especially doesn't need the heartache, the late night arguments, the pain of giving your heart and soul to someone who always finds a way to rip them to shreds.
Then like a tornado, Tweek blew into his world. The most ridiculous, adorable, mess of a man. He sprinted in at full force, dragging Craig through the line, buckling him in for the ride, and screaming bloody murder going down the first hill. Craig knew better though, or at least he thought he did. When Tweek showed up at the middle school Craig had been teaching science for the last four years, Craig made the conscious choice not to pursue anything.
Tweek was cute and funny, he always had paint or charcoal on his face from whatever lesson he had been teaching in his art class. It took only a few days for the whole staff to love him, but Craig held onto his heart. He wasn't giving it out anymore, he couldn't trust anyone but himself to hold onto it. Tweek would just smile his way, waving to him from across the hall. Craig ignored it, he ignored the way his heart skipped a beat, he ignored the way his stomach flipped with childlike excitement when Tweek said anything to him.
It was a few days before the winter break when Craig was all but forced to interact with Tweek. The staff had a meeting about throwing a little holiday party the evening after classes before break started. Craig planned on not going, he didn't really care about most of the people he worked with. He didn't plan on getting drunk in the teachers lounge or having to put up with his coworkers bad mouthing students like they weren't just children. He wanted nothing more than to just go home and enjoy his break.
Instead he was volunteered to help set up the party, his name just so happened to be ‘randomly’ selected from a hat. Craig had a hard time believing it was random, he had a funny feeling Bebe had forced him to help as a way to force him to go. The blonde had been trying to get Craig to do a lot of things around the school he couldn't care less about. He had a funny feeling the English teacher had a thing for him, too bad for her he was gay and repulsed by the idea of ever dating anyone ever again.
Worst was when she drew Tweek's name from the hat, another instance of Craig just knowing in his gut she was the one picking people. Of course she would pick the art teacher to decorate for the party. So Craig found himself stuck in an email conversation with Tweek about what they should do for the party the following day. He hated it, he hated how excited he got when Tweek replied to him. He hated how Tweek typed exactly how he talked, he hated how cute Tweek looked in his little profile picture.
Even more, he hated the following day where he and Tweek were in the teachers lounge together. Sitting at a table just the two of them as Tweek rambled on and on about what materials they had to work with and whether or not they should buy a few things. All Craig could do was look at him. Watching the way his nose crinkled when he made himself laugh. The way his teeth were all slightly crooked to the right. The way he bit down on the tip of his tongue whenever he took a moment to think.
Tweek was beautiful. There was no way around it. Craig was hooked, no matter how badly he wanted to ignore it. He couldn't deny that Tweek was exactly his type, he was blond and shorter, he had big green eyes that made emeralds look pathetic and cheap, and his laugh was like a breath of fresh air after getting trapped in the boys bathroom. It didn't help that Tweek wasn't only physically beautiful, but he was just as gorgeous on the inside.
If there was one thing Craig respected it was when his fellow teachers treated their students with respect. Countless times Craig had heard the kids talking about Tweek. When the blond first arrived a lot of them called him weird, they made fun of his twitching, they made fun of him for being a male art teacher since the last few had all been women. Then all of a sudden they loved him. No one was laughing at him anymore, because Tweek was kind to them. He would listen to their problems, he gave them creative freedom with all their projects, he made a safe and welcoming space out of his classroom.
Not only students loved him, Craig also had to listen to other teachers gush about how great the guy was. Tweek had brought a new coffee maker to the teachers lounge his second week because their old one was, well, old. He claimed it was because he needed coffee to work, but he could have easily put it in his own classroom to keep to himself. Instead he offered it for everyone to use, even sharing the coffee grounds he bought and welcoming anyone to a cup of the pots he brewed throughout the day.
After sitting with Tweek in the teachers lounge, everyone else already gone for the day, Craig knew he was fucked. The way Tweek smiled at him had his skin on fire, the way he checked to make sure Craig was comfortable with physical touch before patting his shoulder, the way he actively listened when Craig spoke. Tweek was just everything he wanted, but he knew the ride wouldn't last long. It never does, no matter how perfect the other person seemed before getting on. Once you reach that first drop it's all just a race to the end.
At the party Craig did his best to avoid Tweek, he planned on having one drink, talking to his only teacher friend Tolkien, and then leaving with an Irish goodbye. The plan was quickly dismantled by the one and only Bebe Stevens. She handed him a second drink, not listening at all when he said he didn't want it, and then cornered him and forced a conversation for about twenty minutes. By the end though, it didn't go the way he expected. Craig had assumed for the last few years Bebe had a weird little crush on him, when in fact she hadn't. Instead, when Craig thought she was leaning in to kiss him, she whispered in his ear a question.
“You're friends with Clyde right?” She had asked, hand on Craig's forearm as she leaned in. What Bebe had been after was Clyde Donovan, Craig's best friend and biggest idiot he knows. For the last few years Clyde had been making the food delivery to the kitchen, at some point he had caught Bebe’s eye. Somehow the idiot hadn't picked up on her waiting around the kitchen on delivery days, somehow he didn't clue in on her flirting with him.
So Craig gave her Clyde's number, he wouldn't normally dish out his friends' contact information to people, but Clyde was stupid and loved blondes with big boobs. He was also self conscious and thought girls like Bebe wouldn't give him a chance, often skipping the line like Craig because he was too scared to be rejected. When Bebe walked away with a thankful smile, Craig looked for Tolkien to chat for a moment before dipping. This is where his plan truly crumbed down to the ground with no hope of going the way Craig wanted.
When he found his friend, Tolkien was already in a conversation with Tweek. Part of Craig wanted to walk away from it, to just leave then and there. Unfortunately, a louder part of his mind couldn't help but walk to them and join the discussion. He wanted to be around Tweek, he wanted to let himself open up and get in that damn line. He just figured it was going to be for nothing like it always was, just setting himself up for a short and disappointing ride.
The men were talking about some video game when Craig joined them, both of them stepping aside a bit to make a space for Craig. He didn't have much to offer to the conversation, but he did thoroughly enjoy listening to Tweek talk excitedly about his favorite character. He looked cute, downright adorable as he gushed about some fictional character from some video game Craig knew nothing about. Then he was three drinks in, loosening up a bit and talking more as the topics changed. By drink four Tolkien had slipped away, leaving Craig and Tweek in the corner of the room getting to know each other.
Craig leaned against the wall, smiling as Tweek told him about the finger painting he had his seventh graders do. Tweek was passionate about it, speaking with his arms flailing all about as he explained his lesson. Craig wasn't really sure what he was talking about, probably because he was too distracted by all the mannerisms Tweek made. The way his whole head jerked when he rolled his eyes, the way his shoulders would bob with his words, the way his eyes looked like glitter when he proudly talked about his students' art skills.
Tweek was like the first rays of sunshine in the morning. He parted through gray clouds and brought warmth and light to the world. All Craig could do was smile and laugh with him. It was easy, talking to Tweek was easy. Falling for Tweek was easy. He wasn't sure if it was the four beers or just Tweek himself, but something made Craig relax and talk. Something made him loosen the tight grip he kept on his heart. Something made him want to offer his heart to Tweek.
They had exchanged numbers that night, and all the following nights ended with Craig falling asleep with his phone in his hand. Everyday after the party during winter break he was texting Tweek. They talked about everything, they talked about nothing, they just talked and talked as if there was truly no end to the topics they could discuss. He was in line, he was slowly inching forward towards the ride. The excitement and nervousness was almost too much to bear, every step forward made him want to jump the fence and sprint as far away from the rollercoaster as possible. Yet he didn't, he kept moving forward.
When classes started again he was left feeling awkward around Tweek. It was hard to talk to him in person, the emotions the blond made him feel had his heart rate up whenever they ended up speaking. The way Tweek would gently touch his arm when he was talking, the way Tweek would giggle into his palm when Craig attempted to joke, the way he always seemed to stand just a little bit closer with every passing day.
It was a Friday night when Tweek texted Craig and asked if he wanted to go to dinner with him the following evening. Craig was scared, they were barreling towards the end of the line and he was terrified to find what was waiting for him. Was he going to walk off and exit before getting on? Was Tweek going to walk off instead? Would they get on the ride together and have something amazing for yet another brief few minutes?
Despite his fear, Craig said yes. He always did, didn't he? The line was scary, the rollercoaster was scary too. It was fun though, it was thrilling and exciting. Even if it was scary, even with the possibility of everything going wrong. He still wanted to ride the rollercoaster, he wanted to feel those butterflies and scream on his way down the first hill. He wanted to laugh with his arms up in the air as the flew through a loop. He wanted to have the biggest, stupidest smile on his face when that camera snapped a photo. He wanted Tweek in the seat beside him, smiling just as wide and laughing just as loud.
By summer break they had gone on several dates, but the line came to an end. Craig got on the ride the moment he wrapped his arms around Tweek's thin waist and pulled him in for a kiss. The second their lips touched Craig had been strapped in, the seat was uncomfortable and the incoherent voice that was supposed to be giving him the all clear made his ears ring. He held on tight though, he held Tweek close and he peppered soft kisses over his jaw. Even knowing how quickly the ride could end he couldn't miss the experience.
Their first summer together was better than any rollercoaster Craig had ever ridden. That slow crawl up to the top of the hill was magical. They went on a few more dates, Craig invited Tweek over to his apartment and introduced him to Stripe. They went on a day trip to the beach where he learned Tweek burned quickly and easily. They went to the farmers market where he learned Tweek loved to cook with fresh ingredients. They went to the movies and made out through the trailers like a couple of high schoolers.
Then there was the first drop, there's always a drop. The first time in the relationship where you're scared, the anxiety bubbles up and suddenly you're not sure why you ever wanted to get on the ride in the first place. For Craig and Tweek it was an argument about Craig being distant. An argument that lasted a week and spilled into the start of the new semester.
In Tweek's defense he was being distant, because he was scared. Their summer had been perfect, it was full of happy moments and gentle touches. But it was temporary, the drop was going to come and Craig didn't want to be hurt at the end of it. So he backed off, he stopped messaging first, he stopped asking Tweek out on dates, and he started building a wall around his heart to protect it from the enviable.
“It feels like you don't even want to be in a relationship with me!” Tweek had shouted in Craig's living room after a stale movie date at home. Craig wasn't sure what to do, he wanted to be in a relationship with Tweek. It just felt too good to be true, Tweek was perfect and wonderful. Any second it was going to collapse, any second that adorable blond was going to rip Craig's heart out and the ride would be over. Leaving him with nothing but a photo of a good time he could never go back to.
They argued and argued, little things piling on to the main issue while Craig held his breath and waited for the ride to end. Except it didn't, instead Tweek showed up at his apartment one day and stormed inside like a man on a mission.
“You're acting ridiculous!” He shouted as Craig frowned from the doorway, watching as Tweek started pacing his living room, “I really like you Craig, this summer was great and I had a lot of fun. I don't know why you're shutting down on me! I don't know what you're so fucking scared of, but I'm not just going to give up because you're scared!” He huffed and sped his way up to Craig, grabbing him by the front of his T-shirt, “do you like me?”
“Yes,” Craig admitted quietly, stunned by the Tweek before him.
“Okay, so why are you acting like a dick?” He tilted his head to the side, his scowl relaxing into an expression of confusion.
“I'm-”
“Don't say I'm not,” Tweek furrowed his brow, “you are. You ignore me at school, you ignore my texts, you've been acting like a dick. So what's the problem Craig? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he shook his head, “no, you haven't done anything wrong.”
“So what the fuck, man!?”
“I don't want to,” Craig took a deep breath and softly knocked his head back against the door, “I'm dreading how gut wrenching it's going to be when you leave me.”
“The only reason I'd leave you is because you're acting like you don't even want to be with me,” Tweek sighed, relaxing his grip on Craig's shirt, “I really like you, I don't want to break up.”
“I don't want to break up either,” he whispered, slowly bringing his hands up to touch Tweek's hips.
“So start acting like you actually want to date me, asshole,” Tweek rolled his eyes, Craig suppressed a laugh at the way his whole head moved with the action.
Then they were going up again, Craig let his guard down as best he could and things were perfect once more. They went on great dates, spent a few evenings together at each other's apartments, and couldn't help but flirt with one another between their classes. Craig had never had a reason to go into the art room before, but knowing Tweek was in there was plenty of reason to go. So most of Craig's free time during the school day was spent bothering Tweek.
He would hover over his shoulder and watch Tweek get lessons ready or put students' creations in the kiln. Tweek would playfully complain about Craig being there, only to sneak a few kisses his way when they were sure no one would come in. During lunch period they would go to Craig's car and eat together in the parking lot, holding hands and sharing the music they liked with one another. It really was perfect, nothing like any relationship Craig had been in before. It was kind of terrifying if he thought about it too much.
Of course, like with any rollercoaster or relationship, there were times when they were speeding down hill. Tweek would get frustrated with Craig or Craig would get frustrated with Tweek. There was no escaping the handful of arguments they got into.
Like when Tweek got angry Craig hadn't expected them to do anything for Valentine's Day, leaving the blond with a gift for Craig and a reservation to a restaurant he canceled out of spite. The issue was resolved that same night, with Craig apologizing and promising to make Valentine's the next year a big deal. Tweek really liked the promise of next year, which Craig was happy to hear from him. They both wanted something long term, they were both hoping for their relationship to be the never ending rollercoaster.
After their first time going down a hill they managed to resolve any others quickly. The ride consisted mostly of going up and up or twisting around corkscrews and loops. Just a handful of moments where they were plunging down, only to quickly go right back up again.
The next summer Craig's lease ended on his apartment and Tweek asked if he wanted to move in with him. It was a big and scary step. Craig had never lived with a boyfriend before, none of his previous relationships lasted long enough for that to come up. Living together wasn't bad at all, they had the same schedule for waking up in the morning so they got to have breakfast together and a few days a week they wound up spending a little too much time together in a shared shower.
Craig was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the ride to come to a screeching halt. Though as summer became fall again, and then fall became winter, there was no stop. Tweek continued to be his amazing self, and Craig continued falling deeper and deeper in love with him. By their third year together it was no secret from the other teachers or the students. Anyone could tell by just the way Craig looked at Tweek that he was hopelessly in love with him.
Despite being in a committed relationship with Tweek for multiple years, Craig still felt fear in the back of his head that everything would come to an end any day. He was so stupidly happy though, being with Tweek had definitely made him the happiest he'd been in years. He didn't want to ride to end, and he didn't want to protect himself from it happening. Instead he wanted to make sure it wouldn't.
Craig often went out of his way to do things for Tweek, making sure his coffee was brewed in the morning, surprising him with flowers, buying him art supplies randomly. He'd never really been the gift giving type before, but when it came to Tweek he usually couldn't stop himself from buying things he thought the blond might like. In return Tweek did the same, he'd show up with a new book about space for Craig or he'd surprise him with some of the best home cooking imaginable.
So in the summer of their fifth year, Craig probably shouldn't have been as nervous as he was. They had planned a trip to California, saved up for two years to even be able to afford it. Craig had been doing extra saving though, in order to purchase the set of rings that were sitting heavily in his pocket as they walked along the beach together. He was horrified Tweek would reject his proposal, even with all his friends telling him that was ridiculous.
The sun was setting, casting a beautiful splattering of colors over the ocean beside them. Tweek had turned away from Craig to take a picture, he was ranting and raving about how pretty it was and how he was going to paint it. As Tweek explained where in their apartment he'd hang the painting, Craig got down on one knee in the sand. He waited patiently for Tweek to finish snapping photos, watching the happy look on his sunburnt face.
“I think right over the couch would be perfect, maybe we should repaint the living room again though,” he said as he put his phone back in his pocket, smiling wide as he turned back to Craig. When his usually taller boyfriend was much lower he raised a brow, looking down at Craig. In those few seconds of realization, Craig felt himself getting sweatier and more and more scared. So many emotions flashed over Tweek's face it was hard to pinpoint exactly what he was thinking.
“Tweek,” Craig started hoarsely, “in the last five years you've become the most important person on this planet for me, the most important person in the whole galaxy,” his voice was shaking with nerves as Tweek stood stock still staring down at him, “I love you, I love you more than I've loved anyone. More than I could ever love anyone. So, Tweek Tweak,” he cleared his throat and raised the ring box up towards the blond, “will you marry me?”
“Oh my fucking god,” Tweek dropped to his knees in the sand and pulled Craig into the tightest hug he'd ever received. It squished his extended arm between their chests as Tweek seemed to try to break every bone in Craig's body, “of course, holy shit!” He squeezed harder and Craig had to squirm to get him to let up.
The rest of their vacation consisted of Tweek needing to take thousands of pictures of their hands in different locations. Apparently he was going to make an entire scrapbook about their new rings. When they returned home wedding planning began, and just about everyone they knew had many congratulations for the two of them.
Love is truly like a rollercoaster, but Craig had been wrong about one thing. There was no never ending ride to go on, instead love was more like riding every rollercoaster possible over and over again. There were times when you got off and shared moments of quiet peace together on solid ground. Moments where you were hundreds of feet in the air with butterflies in your stomach and screams of elation stinging your throat. Even moments where you didn't ride a rollercoaster at all, instead taking a slow loop around the ferris wheel or a more cliche ride through the tunnel of love.
Love was like a lifetime spent in an amusement park, and the only person Craig could ever want to share that with was Tweek. They married during their sixth summer together, smiling and looking forward to the rest of forever.