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Aerith looks down at the red rubber band around her wrist, hidden under her bracelets, softly tightening her skin in a comfortable grip. It was there to remind her of something, she’s sure of it, though she can’t remember exactly what. But she knows she always wore one when she didn’t want to forget. A trick Elmyra had taught her long ago.
“Might come in handy, we’re not getting any younger, you know.”
“Mom, I’m sixteen.” Aerith giggled.
“So? We have to keep our brains clear. Anything that can help with that is very much welcome.”
Aerith sighs, her throat closing at the thought of Elmyra.
Where is she, what is she doing right now?
Aerith looks up to the sky, and a pang of yearning fills her chest as she remembers how Elmyra used to do the same whenever she missed her husband too much.
The Cetra shakes her head, her gaze turning back down to her wrist. Fingertips graze the velvety fabric of the band. Her bracelets chim against each other softly at the passage of her fingers. She wonders if she'll ever remember what it was for, or if the memory itself is completely lost. She knows it must have been something important, or she wouldn’t have put it on… so what could it be about?
“Something wrong?” Red’s soft voice interrupts her thoughts. She turns her head to look at him, the worry in his eyes pulling her back to the present. He sits beside her, joining her on the wooden steps of Johnny’s Inn.
She shrugs. “It’s the same old… ever since the whispers erased my memories… I have trouble situating myself. The constant feeling I’m missing something vital… part of me got lost, maybe…. and it’s driving me a little crazy.” She tries to smile, dismiss the tightness around her chest.
“Humm.” Red breathes out a low growl, dark eyes gleaming with empathy. "I know it seems hopeless. I myself have trouble keeping track of everything. But we’ll figure it out.”
Silence lingers for a moment between them. She doesn’t want to be the one to always bring that matter up. But it scares her how much of her the whispers have taken. It feels like trying to hold onto sand slipping through fingers, the harder she tries, the more slips away.
“Hey Red…” Aerith leans in against him, the warmth of his fur caressing her skin comfortingly. “Thank you.” She says as she nestles closer into his side. She feels her eyes stinging though she can’t really tell why she suddenly feels so emotional. Red raises his head, nuzzling her gently in response.
The night is warm in Costa del Sol. The wind brushes against her cheeks, carrying the familiar salty scent of the ocean and the distant echoes of laughter and celebration from the nearby resorts.
The calm before the temple. Something heavy presses on her chest, and she swallows hard, trying to shake off the foreboding sense of apprehension that tightens every muscle of her body.
She sighs, looking at the stars above, barely seen from under the palm trees canopies, she can’t help thinking about the challenges that lie ahead.
*
“We can’t go without it!!! I— we need it to go into that place!” Aerith hears Yuffie’s voice as she opens the door to exit her room.
“Oh yeah? And what do you know about that place? Ever been?” Barret’s voice raises over Yuffie’s coming from the small open patio at the front of the Inn.
“Well, no!” Yuffie crosses her arms in frustration. “But the more materia we get, the more prepared we’ll be for what may come ahead!”
“She does have a point.” Tifa shifts on her feet. “Couldn’t hurt us to make a little detour to get it.”
Aerith climbs down the stairs, coming to stand next to Cloud as the blond looks over the group, silently crossing his arms in contemplation. Something about Cloud in the past few days is making Aerith feel a little concerned. He’s quiet, distant… more than usual, or at least more than Aerith has seen him in a long time.
She bumps his shoulder softly. “Sleep well?”
He shrugs, barely turning to glance at her. His eyes glow a twilight green in the light of the morning sun, reflecting a deeper tumult than the serenity of the softer blue that still tinges his irises around the mako pigments.
He remains silent as he turns back ahead at the group again.
“What do you think, merc?” Barret asks him at last, the group grows gradually silent as they all turn their attention to Cloud.
“Whatever you decide.” He slowly steps away from the stairs rail he had been leaning against. “Just make it quick.” He walks past them, with a dragging pace that matches his brooding demeanor. He takes the path leading to the main street, his footsteps echoing against the silent backdrop of the morning.
“What the hell is wrong with him?” Barret asks in confusion, his eyes dancing from Aerith to Tifa to Red as they all shrug as confused as he is. “Well, one of you should talk to him, ‘cos I think whatever that is, is way more than I can handle right now.”
Aerith exchanges a glance with Tifa, her friend chews down on her lip, their shared worry unspoken but palpable.
“So… materia hunt it is, right?” Yuffie’s cheerful voice cuts through the tension that had settled around everyone.
“Will you shut up about materia after this?” Barret asks her.
“I can try.” Yuffie says. “But I can’t promise you that.”
“Aah-screw it, let’s just go.”
Aerith is the last one to follow as the group heads towards the path Cloud had disappeared into just moments ago. She lingers behind, fingers searching for the red band around her wrist. She snaps it gently, a gesture that lends her a moment of reassurance.
*
Cloud slashes his sword strongly against the scorpion-shaped monster. Scales and blood and flesh fly all around as the creature lets out a deafening screech, its metallic tail twitching in the wreckage. He dashes to the side, getting ready to attack from a different angle, cat-like dexterity of movements.
Barret gradually stops shooting at the monster as he pauses to look at Cloud instead, eyes round in awe at the ferocity with which Cloud wields his weapon. Aerith tightens her grip around her staff, watching as the fight comes to an end as Cloud continues to relentlessly strike at the monster. He lunges and spirals through the air, striking down with precision and skill and a last powerful blow that causes the scorpion to collapse to the ground in a clatter of metal and groaning.
Cloud lands on his feet, light, with the agility of an elegant dancer. He rises up, bolting his sword to its place in his back. The materia they had come to collect from the deep throat of the cave glistens in yellow under his grip. He wipes the blood off his face with the back of his hand. His eyes are sparkling bright and menacing, a cool neon green in the dark of the cave. A cold sharp glare that makes Aerith’s skin crawl.
He smirks, darkly, like he is gloating over the kill.
And when his eyes meet Aerith, their brightness dims to a softer flicker of blue.
*
The hunt had been tougher this time around, more difficult to complete. Either the group was already showing signs of tiredness, since their travels are constantly testing their limits or they had underestimated the level of danger of the dungeon they had just barely succeeded in retreating the materia from.
The sun had almost set behind the horizon, casting long shadows across the landscape, as they finally made their way back to the wasteland of Corel.
They all climb the buggy, carefully parked under a leafless tree, and settle into their seats with a collective sigh of relief. As she steps onto the vehicle, Aerith realizes the last available seat is the shotgun right next to Cloud. He sits at the wheel, quiet, hunched forward as he stares through the windscreen, his eyes fixed on the road ahead, waiting for the others to settle down so he could start the engine.
“Guess I’m your co-pilot this evening, sir.” She says playfully as she sits next to him.
“Sorry.” He says voice low, glancing at her briefly before starting the engine.
“I don’t mind.” She replies, taken a little aback by his remark.
“No I mean… I know I haven’t been easy to be around lately.” He says solemnly, eyes filled with a hint of exhaustion.
“Oh… you haven’t? I didn’t notice.” She lilts, fingers tapping on her knees in a rhythmic pattern.
“Come on.” He half growls, half chuckles.
She smiles. “Well, for the record, I like your company very much. Even if you’re being extra grumpy at times.”
“Extra…” he repeats, glancing at her with a glimmer of amusement in his eyes.
Her smile grows wider, mischievous, as she playfully taps him on the shoulder.
She’d ask him about it, but after having watched him fight back at the cave, entranced in a way it almost didn’t look like it was him there, it’s probably best to pull him as far away from that mind spirit as possible.
“Say… it’s a long ride until Costa del Sol.” Aerith deviates the topic. “Do you think you can handle driving all night?”
“Sure.” Cloud nods as he accelerates through the empty lands of rock and dust, the quiet hum of the engine filling the air between them. “I’ll wake up one of them if I need to rest.” He tilts his chin glancing over his shoulder at the others on the seats behind.
“I’d offer, but I don’t know how to drive.” She says. “Might crash into something if I tried.”
“It’s mostly empty desert we’re gonna cross.” Cloud says, looking out at the barren landscape stretching into the distance. “I’m sure you’d have no trouble until we reach Gongaga.”
“Well, deserts have rocks, right?” She wonders aloud, her eyes following the passing scenery. “Big ones, I see!” She points out the open window of the buggy.
“Yeah… thank you though.” He says. “I got it.”
“You always do.” She says. They fall silent for a moment as the last rays of sunlight bathe the desert in a warm golden glow against the dark of the evening sky.
“This is kinda nice.” She pokes her head out the window, breathing in the warm air redolent with a scent of sand and sage, an unusual peacefulness amidst their tumultuous journey.
“Be careful.” He calls, reaching out for her with an arm, seeing as she had lifted herself waist up out the window to strengthen the feeling of freedom. His hand falls to her leg, hovering there in case she loses her balance towards the void of the outside, at the same time he struggles to both look at her and at the road ahead. He opts upon slowing the buggy down to a safer speed.
She giggles, sitting back down safely in her seat. “Don’t worry, I was holding on tight.”
“Don’t do that.” He pleads, his expression had turned somber, he lets out a low grunt as he maneuvers the buggy carefully through the shifting sand. “Please.” His voice is laden with concern, his eyes bright green, searching hers for reassurance. Surely she hadn’t meant for him to worry so much, she had it under control, but seeing him like that, it makes her heart race in her chest.
“You know, I never experienced these sorts of things before.” She says, hands curling on her lap, she searches for the band under her bracelets, rubbing it softly. “Freedom, being able to do whatever… live a little more. And being out here, with you and our friends, just… I just wanted to feel the wind in my hair, just once.”
He drives, glances back at her, gaze turning softer.
“I get it.” He says. “I didn’t mean to alarm you… or myself for that matter.” His hands grip the steering wheel tighter. His gloves rub against the leather, worn to softness from years of use, as he carefully maneuvers the buggy through the rugged terrain. “But the slightest thought of you in danger, makes me feel like I can’t breathe.”
She stares at him, jaw dropping a little as she sits there motionless, frozen in place, unable to find a proper reaction to what he had just told her.
“I don’t know, just… I can’t explain it, and I certainly can’t control it.” He continues. “It takes me somewhere dark… when you’re out of reach.“ He runs a hand through his hair. “But I’ll try not to do this.”
“No.” She shakes her head, snapping out of her stupor. She stares at him, at the resolve in his expression as he drives, the small frown of his eyebrows and the clench of his jaw. He’s a safe place, a comfort in the chaos they find themselves in. “I like it. I like that… you care.”
“Of course I care, birdie.” He states, but he doesn’t turn to glance at her, he keeps his eyes ahead, lips pressing together firmly.
She smiles, warmly, her heart flutters at the remembrance of the nickname he so gently had called her one time before, on a sunny-day date searching for shells and talking about food and staring at the waves, wading through them bare feet. It all seemed so far away now. A day lost in careless laughter, but a day that she longed to relive one day, another day, maybe in a near future that felt suddenly much more possible.
She reaches for her band again, snapping it out of habit.
He seems to notice her gesture, as he turns his gaze at her wrist.
“What is that thing you do?” He asks, pointing idly at her hands.
She blinks, attention turning down to the rubber band again. “Oh… do I do this a lot?”
“More than often, that I’ve noticed.”
“I don’t know.” She says. “I’m not sure why I’m even wearing this.”
He chuckles, quietly, small, with a boyish kind of lightness that makes him look much younger than his more frequent brooding moments. “You’re not sure?”
“It’s complicated… I think it’s meant to help me remember something but I don’t know what.”
“How is that even possible?” He teases, a playful note to his voice.
“I know, right?” She laughs. “But, my memory is a little shaky ever since we left Midgar.” Her eyes meet his for a brief moment before darting away.
“Are you sure it’s not just a hair band?” He asks, curiously.
“Knowing myself…” and she pauses to think for a moment… How much does she still know about herself? And how much has she changed? She shakes the thought away. “…I wouldn’t wear one of these if it weren’t meant to remind me of something.”
“Well, when you remember what that is… let me know, okay?” He says.
“Deal.” She nods. “And when you yourself feel like you can control whatever it is that’s taking you to a dark place, let me know!”
“Deal.” He says, blue-green eyes flicker in a lighter hue now, with a glimmer of hope that hadn't been there before.
There’s silence between them as the night stretches on, the stars speckling the sky like shards of broken glass.
“Hey Cloud?” She calls after a while. He tilts his head her way. “Did you have fun on our date?”
His cheeks blush a shade darker, he clears his throat. She loves it when she catches him off guard like this, his walls coming down in unguarded moments. “Yeah.”
Aerith turns around on her seat to check if the others were listening from the back. The group of seven had completely fallen silent as they all seemed to be sleeping leaning against each other in various awkward positions.
Then she turns back to Cloud, the corners of her mouth twinging with secret amusement. She slides all the way across the seat until she’s leaning against him.
“Me too.” She says and watches as the corners of his lips curl up into a tiny smile.
She takes his hand in hers, sliding down her fingers through his, palm to palm, his hand relaxes to her touch.
“I’m getting used to holding your hand like this.” She says barely above a whisper, so softly she’s not sure he could hear her above the humming sound of the buggy. “It makes me think everything is going to be okay.”
He intertwines his fingers with hers and brings her hand to his lips, slowly. He brushes a gentle kiss across her knuckles as he keeps looking straight ahead at the buggy’s headlights, where the light fades into the darkness of the night.
“Keep holding it, then.” He says.
She nestles closer against him as he drives through the night.
The band on her left wrist twinkles in golden light as the dim lamps of the villages in the distance flicker past, casting fleeting shadows all around.
*
Bright rainbow light, as warm as her mother’s kiss, shines her back to consciousness.
“Aerith… wake up.”
She opens her eyes to see Cloud looking down at her. Tears trace his skin down his cheeks, though he smiles. He smiles at her, through the pain etched into his expression.
He holds her closer against him, skin hot, body trembling. She can feel his heart racing in his chest as he presses her tightly against him.
She lifts a hand to his cheek and he wraps a hand around her wrist, fingers grazing her skin so softly she almost shivers at his touch. His eyes carry so much emotion in them, flickering bluish light under fluttering lashes, she feels her own tears welling up in response.
“I know what it was for.” She smiles. “The rubber band.”
He smiles back at her, letting out a small cry of both relief and agony.
“What… what was it for?” He asks, voice catching in his ragged breath.
“You can’t fall in love with me.” She says. “I guess, even if I knew what it meant before, I didn’t stand a chance.”
“Aerith…” his voice comes out hoarse, weighted with a grief that looks nearly unbearable.
“It’s okay Cloud…” her thumb brushes over his cheekbone, wiping away a tear.
“It’s going to be okay.”