Work Text:
HamBam is getting sus lately!
Ikr, even the DJ asked them if there's something going on between them!
No doubt, hambam is dating!!
I thought the same!
"Crap." Yejun nibbles his nail, feeling uneasy after scrolling the app and noticing the recent viral topic among the fans. The one clip from their idol radio has been resurfaced and appeared on his twitter timeline. "I told those two not to get so obvious. We're so screwed..."
It's been many months since Noah broke it to him about the two youngers who're dating each other. It's supposed to be a secret between three but one day during practice, Noah slipped his tongue by mistake and now the whole group knew about the relationship between their two dancers.
"What should I do now?" The leader gets slightly anxious somehow. The CEO and the whole team will be against this for sure. So, before things get any worse, Yejun decides to take matters into his own hands. That evening, he meets up with the two younger males to talk about this matter.
This isn't actually a big issue yet it is actually a big issue.
Noah feels bad the whole time Yejun lecturing the two dancers who have their heads hanging low gloomily.
"I told you, it's fine to be in relationship but don't make it too obvious--"
"I did say Bamby hyung is dating Eunho hyung tho! How is it obvious that I'm dating Bamby instead?!" Hamin tries to protest. His hyungs sigh in unison. He isn't wrong either. Some fans just have impressively sharp eyes in getting the vision, they shouldn't underestimate these pllis.
Bamby remains quiet the whole time that Hamin gets worry and takes a glance at him.
'Is it because of me? Is this all my fault? I caused Bamby hyung some trouble again.' Hamin swallows the lump in his throat, feeling so bad and sorry.
Meanwhile Bamby is quietly blaming himself. 'If only I just kept my mouth shut that day on the radio recording and not saying that 'recently Haminnie'... fans won't be so sus of us. This is my fault. I'm at fault. I dragged Hamin into this trouble.' Tears feel like prickling in his eyes, fists clenched on his either side, trying so hard not to break into tears at this moment in this room infront of everyone.
"And one more thing. The pyongnaeng thingy. Can you guys just stop bragging about it on bubble? I'm sorry if I sound demanding or controlling but this is what the best for you both, for us all. Please. People are getting suspicious of it and called it as a date."
'It is a date though.' Bamby wants to fight back but this is his leader he's facing on right now. He respects Yejun more than anyone else, disappointing this reliable leader is the worst thing he could do in life. So, he remains silent and just nods his head obediently. Let's just get over this matter real fast, he just wants to leave this room real quick.
If pyongnaeng is one of the problems here then...
"Bamby hyung... should go eat it with Eunho hyung then, and let everyone knows too." Hamin finally opens his mouth again, giving out the idea. Isn't this how they usually cover things up? Every time? Even if it isn't true, people will like it more. People prefer the two more, Hamin realizes this, of course. Something in him breaks a little but he ignores it. He keeps ignoring it every single time.
Bamby snaps his neck, looking at the other guy upon the idea. 'Is he seriously--'
"Let's do it." Eunho steps in and volunteers himself for this again. No doubt, fans love it a lot when he's having the moments with Bamby. Sometimes he feels bad for Hamin but he needs to be professional. They need to be professional not to mix up personal matters with work. Giving what fans want to see the most is the top priority now. "Let's do it, hyung."
Yejun nods, "thank you, Eunho." He knows the younger feels bad too but he has to. He can't help noticing how sometimes during their lives, Eunho will pushes Bamby towards Hamin oh so subtly and leads him to his side, very subtly. Yejun knows Eunho feels bad for the two too. Acting jealous when Bamby kisses Hamin, when hugging him, when spending a night together at Bamby's house. It doesn't matter, as long as fans believe he's jealous and at least Bamby and Hamin still can have some moments of their own, they're safe.
Everyone still remembers clearly that one time during their ot5 broadcast, when Hamin kept pushing Bamby away and said hurtful things until Bamby picked Eunho's name by saying that Eunho would be joining Bamline for few days. It triggered something in Hamin that the youngest male suddenly got clingy around Bamby, very provoked. The hyungs found Hamin so adorable that day. His words always contradict his actions.
Bamby nods, "okay."
Then, the next thing on bubble, Eunho and Bamby both bragging about the same English song they covered. They need to divert fans' attention from that hambam dating scandal. They really need to. And the next day, they do it again and this time on bubble and weverse, bragging about going to eat pyongnaeng together.
Yejun even sends some help as he purposely mentioning Bamby when Eunho asked for eating place recommendation on weverse, in which Bamby replies with 😳 emoji. They really give their best to divert the attention.
Meanwhile, Hamin on bubble mentioning about spending time alone and going to sauna. Ah yes, he just needs some time to rest his mind. With all that's happening recently, sauna doesn't sound bad. In fact, it's just what he needs at the moment.
Noah sighs rather fondly yet pity for Hamin when he sees the younger male suddenly spams a lot of voice messages on bubble, but if talking and babbling to pllis can make him feel better then Noah is glad. Hamin is taking a walk outside when he sends those messages. Sauna perhaps doesn't really help, someone needs the night walk before going to bed too.
"Hello, how was your day today? There are some people who are happy and some people who are sad.."
Hamin wishes everyone is happy, everyone including that one hyung he loves so much. Wherever that person is and whoever he is with right now, Hamin wishes that he's smiling happily. Hamin wishes for that person not to feel the same sadness he's feeling right now.
'I miss him already...'
"..there are also some people who feel happy because of me. I hope you're feeling happier after listening to my voice!"
At one point, he takes a break from the walking and sits on a bench at the riverside, letting out a heavy breath, eyes glued on the starry sky above him. The spring just started here in Korea and it's beautiful. So beautiful that he wants to see flowers together with Bamby one day. But they're still so busy these days preparing for their concert. Maybe someday later.
Everyone is so busy for the concert, even Bamby and Eunho spend a lot of time together practicing for their unit stage. Ah... Hamin could see this coming though. For sure, their agency would give the two their own special stage. Hamin never said this to anyone but honestly, he's jealous. He wants to have a special stage with Bamby too. He had been expressing how much he wanted to do a collab and singing duet with Bamby for countless time in those live broadcasts, but... if they needed their company's approval then, it could be hard.
But doesn't matter, he thinks. If he can't have that special stage with Bamby then, he's gonna act extra clingy around the hyung. He doesn't care this time, whatever the management and staff wanna say or condemn about it, even if he'll be scolded and lectured by William or Yejun hyung, he doesn't care. He wants to show his possessive side on that stage, infront of everyone. Even if some people gonna call it fanservice, he doesn't care.
"I just want to see him." Hamin mutters quietly under his breath, tired gaze never leaves the night sky, as if he's talking to one of the stars there, or the moon that's been staring back at him.
Mind is too busy occupied by all the running thoughts inside his head that he startles himself, slightly panicking when he realizes that a single line of tear is rolling down his face. 'Crap! What-' He quickly wipes off his eyes and cheek with his shirt sleeve. Ah... when was the last time he cried? Only then he realises how tired he is. For so many times telling himself that he's fine, maybe he should stop lying to himself.
How can loving someone be so painful? It feels like a sin. He wishes that he can just scream his lung out and tell the whole world how much he loves Bamby too. He wishes he can just reply to those confessions from Bamby without feeling fear and worry of the consequences that's waiting for them. Hamin feels sorry for Bamby every time the older guy expresses his feelings towards him a bit too vocal but Hamin can't even reply to it the same.
"We can't, Bamby. Yejun hyung told us what? Not to get so obvious--" This one day, Hamin did had a private talk over this matter with Bamby, begging the hyung to understand.
"I don't care!" Bamby the stubborn head he was, refused to listen. His voice was shaking slightly from the anger, sadness and disappointment. "Why can't we just say that we like each other?! It's so unfair!!"
"Bamby--"
"No!! They can't tell me what to do!"
"This is for our future, for everyone's career--"
"I said no! I like you, I like you, I like you! I love you! I want everyone to know this!!" Tears were threatening to fall, taking a step back when Hamin came closer. He slapped the other hand off his arm, refused to be touched. "It's so unfair... we love each other but acting like one is sinful... that's so unfair."
At last, he ended up crying. "So unfair. I hate this. Unfair.... so unfair." He choked on his tears, clumsily wiping off his eyes with the back of his hands like a hurtful fragile child. "On that day during radio show..., I did clearly say that my relationship with Eunho is like real brothers, close like siblings... why ain't people listening? Why are they ignoring it?!" He whined in frustration.
At last, he didn't push away when Hamin came closer again, this time to hug him. He sobbed harder in Hamin's embrace.
"I like you too, I love you. But... yes, it's so unfair but this is our fate we have to deal with. I'm sorry if my words keep hurting you, I swear I never meant any of those. I love you so much, you know this, right?"
Bamby just nodded, of course he knew. But it was never not painful every time Hamin say those hurtful things to him, even if he didn't mean it.
"The world just always against us, never on our side. I'm so sorry I failed to fight for us, but this is the best I could do to protect you. I need to do this to protect us, I hope you understand. I'm begging." Hamin whispered, this wasn't easy for himself too. He needed to keep pushing Bamby away to protect themselves.
To protect Bamby, his beloved.
To keep him safe.
Hamin has his face in his palms as he cries silently, quietly alone. Let's just end the night walk for today and go home. Maybe a good sleep will do. He slightly flinches as his phone vibrates. He fishes it out of his pocket and sees a new kakao message, from Bamby.
< I miss you 🥀 Good night, rest well. >
A soft smile forms on Hamin's face.
< I miss you too. Rest well, love. >
As long as they keep this secret, everything will be fine.
Promise.
(Fin.)
bonus: hamin - 240411 (today)
"legendary scene
whether it's a legendary scene or something else
just being together makes me happy
leading role, supporting role, extra role
whatever the role is, or how important are the roles
just being on one screen makes me happy."
